All language subtitles for flack.s01e02.hdtv.x264-mtb

Hello.

He fuckin' pushed me!

Robyn.

Robyn?

Robyn, I think that's
your phone.

Oh, shoot.

Uh, if I can just get
that threshold and stop, I... I...

Uh... Yeah. But, of course,
I wouldn't stop.

I'm not sure what triggered it, honestly,
some times I feel like I can see it coming,

but some times it...
It's just... It's there.

And it takes you by surprise.

So, yeah, we had this fight and I can't
really remember what it was about.

Uh...

Me being an idiot again,
probably.

I'm sorry.

It's off.

You being an idiot?

Yeah. Right.

So, the next thing I know, I'm in the
disabled toilets, hitting the nose bag

and getting a handjob off
one of the male waiters.

And the sense of... of...

Uber for Robyn.

Yup.

Thank you.

Bye.

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Hi.

Hey, Rob.

You're late.

- You went to a meeting?
- Mmm-hmm.

For real?

Baby, that is...
Fantastic. Come.

Don't make a thing of it.

Guys, wine's away,
diet cokes all around.

- Oh.
- Well, we're doing this again, are we?

- Oh...
- What?

I'm kidding. Its great news.
Great news, Rob.

- Diet coke it is.
- That's sweet

but just cause I'm a fuck-up,
doesn't have to ruin everyone else's night.

Well, we're here
to support you. Right?

Yeah, just tell us
whatever you need, sis.

I need you to stop treating me like
a Make-A-Wish kid and have a drink.

I'm NA, not AA. It's fine.

- You sure?
- Yes!

Well, thank Christ for that.

I haven't had dinner,
sober since the '90s.

Really proud of you.

Oh no, no, go ahead,
serve yourself, babe.

We're good.

- I'm just making sure its...
- Not corked.

To be honest, it's kind of strange
at first but then, it's liberating.

Like the first time
you wear a swimming cap.

God, but all of it?
It just seems so exposing!

I mean, God, let's not forget, I have
pushed two babies out of that bad boy.

I think you should try it.

You do not get a say
in the grooming of my snooch.

- Snooch?
- Yes, Sam, my snooch!

Do you have
a problem with that?

I do not have a problem
with your snooch.

Excuse me, my wife's mins
you're talking about.

Hmm... Tell you what.
I will shave mine if you shave yours.

- Deal.
- No!

No, no, porn stars
do it all the time.

Don't tell me,
you've never shaved your balls.

No, but you are one hairy
motherfucker though, man.

Oh, my God, you're right.
Where would he start?

It'll be like when you shave a
square off a dog for an operation.

What if I stop at
the knees and the nipples?

I'm serious! Just here to here.
Completely hairless. Just zip!

- I'm gonna be okay.
- Plus.

It makes your dick look bigger, apparently.
So, who will be the one laughing then?

I'm pretty sure it'll
still be us, mate.

Hon, you sure
you want another?

Well, that is you told.

That it is. Right.
I am gonna go for a smoke.

- Oh no, you're not.
- Yes, I am.

I'm gonna join you.

Wedded bliss.

Didn't know he was
smoking again.

Yeah.

That's an exciting
new development.

Hey, Robyn!

Come on, watching people
getting slowly drunk is like

being Stevie Wonder
in a fireworks display.

I'm going for him, not me.
As long as he's happy.

Public relations.

- Hello?
- When the phone rings, you answer.

I'm sorry, I just...

I don't care if you be in a car
crash, both your arms are broken,

and you've got a mouth
full of shattered teeth,

you spit them out,
get someone else to hold the phone,

and you murr me
a gummy response.

- That clear?
- That's pretty clear.

Summer Bolton has been
dropped by her record label.

Round table. 9:00 am.

Yup.

One of the mothers at Kelly's
school once got it all waxed

and she said, it made her
moo like a cow.

Literally.

She was on all fours
and she mooed like poked cow.

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, God, no.

Working hard I see.

Is that the guy
from Dragon's Den?

What the hell is he doing?

He wants to get on
I Miss Celebs.

He sent me an audition tape
of him eating things.

He's already eaten three earthworms,
a chicken scat strip and now,

he's going for
the sheep's testicle.

Ooh!

Tough little bugger those are.

Oh... God!

It's like a meat cream egg.

Don't they have everyone
in place for this year?

Yeah, yeah. Weeks ago.

But seeing as you are
repeatedly trying to touch

Fanny Lennox at last year's
Christmas party,

I thought I'd keep his dreams
alive a little longer.

Fanny Lennox?

My new name for
the notorious V-A-G.

- So, are you in this round table?
- Yup.

Remind me of the deets again.

Ever Cater Price, are you telling
me you haven't done your homework?

Okay, so, I was doing it but then
I got booty called by the imp.

You shouldn't call him that.

Why? He's like 5'4".
That's why he's always so angry.

Anyway, so, we're like
half a bottle of Bombay in,

and start having one of those flirty
conversations about how kinky we are

at a scale of one to ten.

Hmm. Tricky, 'cause anything under five
and you're gonna sound like a prune.

But go too high, and you're basically
saying, "Piss on me, I'm slut," I know.

- I think I'll go seven.
- That's what I thought.

Safe seven. A bit of bondage, bum
sex, if forewarned, light spanking,

everyone's a winner.

So, proceedings got underway
and suddenly, this happens.

Is that a cigarette burn?

Shouldn't have even been
smoking in the flat.

My landlord finds out,
she will shit kittens.

Jesus! What did you do?

Well, I elbowed him in the face,
broke his nose, blood everywhere.

Unfortunately, this just
turned him on even more.

Christ! Eve!

This is good.
You're freaking out.

I freaked out. I was worried
I was being uptight.

No! You chucked
him out, right?

Of course. This morning.

- Eve.
- I know.

Not my finest moment.
But I did break the guy's nose.

It's always the short ones.

I know right.

Lucky I didn't say
I was a ten.

Robyn, here's that info
you wanted on Summer Bolton.

Ooh, you sneaky bitch!

I printed it in duplicate.

Is she coming in?
My mum loves her.

What are the headlines?

Okay, well, she won Britain's Got
Talent, two years ago, when she was 15.

I thought the great dancing
granddads won it two years ago.

No, that was last year.
But they only made it to the semis'

because they got beaten by those
boys with all the talking fruit.

Anyway, her first album won
two classical Brits,

then she had a Christmas
number one with a charity single

for Help for Heroes called
Lovely Boys.

And her manager
is her mother, Joan.

Oh, Christ! A momager.

Ruthless beasts.

There was a girl at my prep school
whose mother gave a drama teacher

a handjob just so that her daughter
could play the lead in the school play.

Which, ironically, happened
to be Daisy Pulls It Off.

Thanks for this.

Your hair looks nice,
by the way.

Oh, thanks.

Few more of those,
you'll be able to start your own currency.

I'm doing it
for real this time.

Time to grow up.
Be a good girl.

You are a good girl.

You're one of
the best girls I know.

Are you familiar with the story
of the scorpion and the frog?

Did they go out to sea
in a beautiful pea green boat?

No, that was somebody else.

So, Scorpion asks Frog
for a ride across the river.

Frog's like, "As if.
You'll sting me."

The Scorpion's like,
"Of course, I won't."

"If I sting you,
I'll drown too."

So, Froggy agrees.

They reach the middle of
the river and suddenly...

Zap! Scorpion stings
the crap out of Frog.

And as they sink slowly in the black
water, the frog looks up and is like,

Why did you do that?

And Scorpion stared down at him and
says, "It's in my nature."

And they both drown.

As much as I hate to break up
this little pow-wow,

Caroline has a rich
teenager in her boardroom.

And she doesn't like
to keep those waiting.

Okay, Summer's label are going
to announce the news on Friday.

So we until then
to turn this

from a car crash
into the Gumball Rally.

She wants to ditch the classical
and move into adult pop.

Our job is
a top-down re-brand.

She's heading in
a very different direction.

It's much edgier.

She's working
with Tiny Temper.

Look, people just think of me
as a little girl, but I'm not.

I wanna be
taken seriously.

She wants to be sexy.

Swift sexy
or Rihanna sexy?

- Rihanna sexy.
- Well...

- Budget?
- Limited.

Drug habit?

Few track marks,
easily done.

Not very sexy,
not for a girl.

Mental breakdown. Shave your head,
piss in a bucket, buy a monkey.

No mental breakdowns, no substance abuse.
They work only for actresses.

- From an old boyfriend?
- Too much of a slow burn.

I don't care
what I have to do.

I'm 17 years old and I'm not
ready for my career to be over.

My best friend works six days
a week in H&M for, like, £400.

- Fuck that.
- Summer.

What about a sex tape?

There hasn't been a good
one of those in a while.

Okay, hang on
just a second.

Not really classy.

But is classy really
what we're going for here?

Ooh, lesbians.

Lesbians, perfect.

On trend and much less
seedy than straight.

Certainly wouldn't look
like a little girl anymore.

It's well shot.
Intended for private use.

Grown up, sophisticated.
Think Madonna.

Old Madonna.
Not old Madonna.

Then it gets leaked,
hacked from your Cloud,

you're horrified,
you make a public admission.

How betrayed you feel.

Getting the sympathy vote
from the girls.

Whilst turning yourself
into a filthy little minx.

Nation's sweetheart's
dirty secret.

And if
the new album tanks,

sell a tape online,

still make a fortune.

And we can turn this around
in 48 hours.

- Absolutely.
- Now, hold on just a second.

This is my daughter
we're talking about.

It's pornography.

I play golf with men
who watch pornography.

Dad, this is my career.

- Summer, you can't...
- Mum, tell him.

- Darling.
- Joan, you can't seriously...

This is her life,

and if she wants to make a sex
tape, she can make a sex tape.

Unless, of course, you want to stop using
her royalties to pay off our mortgage.

Oh, no.
Of course you can't.

'Cause you got fired
from your job

for asking your secretary
to sit on the photocopier.

Excellent.

Well, we'll leave you
two to discuss,

and I'll get the girls
to draw up some ideas.

Hi, I heard there was
a problem with the...

Yeah, hi. Um...

I had troubles printing,
but it's working again.

Oh, okay.

Great.

Do you want a biscuit?

I made them
for the office.

But Eve told me to throw them away
'cause they've got flour in them.

All right. Okay.

Well, I'm sure the guys
downstairs would be more grateful.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Hot coffee, in my mouth.

And I need you to make me
a list of every female celeb

between the ages of 16 and
35 with something to sell.

Records,
movies, themselves.

I don't care.

Low moral fiber preferred.

Will do that.

- So, what's she like?
- Hmm?

Summer.

Is she nice?

She's a sweetheart.

I knew she would be.

You can help us with her
sex tape if you like.

- Sex tape?
- Yes.

- Of Summer Bolton?
- Yes.

- Having sex.
- Yes.

You have a tape of
Summer Bolton having sex?

No, we're making a tape
of Summer Bolton having sex.

Robin, I think this one's broken.
Why don't we get a new one?

Oh, my goodness.

I still need
that list, Melody.

Okay.

Oh, my goodness.

Yes, cool.
No problem.

That is cool.

Bless.

If my coffee comes back cold again,
I'm just gonna throw it in her face.

Robin, there's a man
in a polyester suit

waiting in the reception
for you.

Sorry to bother
you at work.

I was just in the area,
thought I'd pop in, say hello.

What were you doing
in the area?

You know, looking
for your office.

Okay, good.
Uh, you know,

earlier in the year, I said that
I was leaving my position at work

but staying within the company
to become a contractor...

Earlier in the year?

Talked to Ruth and you
about it loads... No?

Okay. Well, I said
it didn't make any sense.

Staying on a salary when they
kept hiring these contractors

who were getting paid
almost double what I was,

and they were getting
to choose their own hours,

and even though there was some
minor risk to job security...

Mark, I have absolutely no
idea what you're talking about.

I've lost my job.

- What?
- Oh, it's fine.

Just a bit...
Bit, um...

The company I'm working
for are cutting back,

and as I'm, strictly speaking,
no longer an employee,

they, uh...

Hey, I'll find
something else, okay?

- When did this happen?
- Three months ago.

And Ruth doesn't know?

I felt something
else would come up.

And what am I
supposed to say to her?

"Hi, honey, how are you?
By the way, don't bother fixing dinner,

"'cause I can't afford
any food to feed the kids?"

Where the hell have you been
going for the past three months?

I don't know, cafes.

Parks.

Or sometimes, I just stay on the
circle line till it's time to go home.

You have to tell her.

You, better than anyone,
knows what she's like with money.

Remember when she was pregnant?
She will freak out.

She's obsessed she'll end
up broke like her mum.

Took me three years to persuade
her we can afford Sky Television.

We still haven't got
the movie package.

Why are you
telling me?

I don't know, you're...

Good at fixing things
for people, and...

Look, there's stuff
on the horizon,

I just need something to get
through the next few weeks.

If Ruth finds out that
I know, and she doesn't,

she's gonna lose
her shit,

and I know you've
seen my sister angry.

She makes Chris Brown
look like a fucking hippie.

Yes, well,
I don't know who that is.

But look, Robyn,
I'm not asking you for me.

You have one month
to sort your shit out,

and then I tell her.

What is it
you do, again?

Well, essentially
what I do is

design networks
for multinational...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Computers, right?

Right.

So this is how it's gonna work.

We make the tape,
we share it discreetly with a few sources,

the highest bidder then
leaks it on to their website,

and you get paid a predetermined
sum in the form of legal damages.

After an agreed period of time,

we then, remove the tape,

and then place an injunction to prevent
other people from using the footage.

At that time,
should you so chose,

- we can further monetize the tape.
- Monetize it?

This is Mark, our technical
communications specialist.

He'll explain how it all works.

Right. Yes. Um...
Thank you, Robyn.

Well, what we would do

is set up a number
of third party sites

which couldn't be
linked back to you.

These sites would then
stream the tape

for a fee, your royalties,

all of which would be
transferred directly to you.

Minus Mark and our
commissions, obviously.

Now, this amount
can vary greatly

depending on if you're
a Titmuss or a Kardashian.

Let's say, Summer is
somewhere between the two.

So here's a list
of potential co-stars.

Oh, God, I hate her.

She's lovely. We saw her on Graham
Norton, didn't we, Ed?

- Who's that one at the bottom?
- She's an Olympian.

- No medals though.
- Oh... An Olympian.

- Too muscley.
- My personal opinion...

This is the one. Carly Peters.
Everyone loves a soap star.

Plus, she just got
her contract canceled,

for using the 'n' word on Twitter,
so this would be the perfect opportunity,

for her to prove
that she's not a racist.

It also means she'll be cheap.

- I like her.
- Great.

We'll get her in this afternoon
for some STD checks.

- STD checks?
- Just to, you know, be on the safe side.

Safe, not sorry, Summer.

Well, you guys sit tight.
I'll get to work.

And my assistant will
get you some lunch.

Sorry. My mum... My mum just loves
you, by the way.

Um, when you did Castle on a
Cloud at the Royal Variety,

you had us both gushing.

This is the list of websites
you need to talk to.

Right.

- And I need you to sign this.
- What's this?

It's a non-disclosure agreement.

This is what you do all day.

I thought you just flounce around
drinking white wine and air kissing.

Now, please.

I'm sorry if I
was unsupportive earlier.

I think what
you're doing is great.

- What?
- You know...

NA, Sam, being a grown up.

I only take the piss 'cause it's
easier for me to be a hot mess

if my best friend's
a hot mess too.

Don't worry, babe.
I'll always be a mess.

You know,
I think about it sometimes.

Finding the boy to run me
baths and cook me dinners.

Problem is, I know the minute
I find someone nice enough

to run me a bath, I'd probably drown him in it.

I guess, that's why I'm doomed
to life as a human ashtray.

Oh, bull-wax.

- What?
- I just pissed on my grandma's ring.

- What is that?
- For the STD lady.

- You're getting checked too?
- Damn straight.

How often does the
mountain come to Mohamed?

Saves me a job this quarter.
You should get involved.

Yeah. The last time I pissed
in a cup was at Glastonbury.

- Fill your boots.
- You almost did.

- Hi.
- Come on, then.

I actually just wanted to ask a
couple of questions. Is that okay?

Okay.

How reliable is the
contraceptive pill?

No form of contraceptive
is 100%...

No, I appreciate that,

but is that some old wives' tale you tell teenage
girls, to stop them from being all slutty

or can I actually get pregnant?

You can actually get pregnant.

My boyfriend and I
are trying for a baby.

But you're on the pill?

It's complicated.

My mother was a difficult woman

and she made life difficult

for a lot of people,
including her children.

And I... I just wouldn't...

Where do you stand on the
whole nature-nurture thing?

I'm just a nurse, honey.

You know, there are still tribes
in South America

that believe that babies are
made from a combination of sperm,

from multiple males and mom has
sex with a bunch of different dudes

and then they all share
in the upbringing of the child.

I had sex with some other guy.

A client, actually.
And now I'm a week late.

So, let me get this straight.

Your're trying for a baby
with your boyfriend,

but you had sex with someone
who isn't your boyfriend.

But you're on the pill and you're
worried that you're pregnant.

Or you want to be pregnant?

I mess everything up and I wouldn't
want to mess up something like that.

Why are you
telling me all this?

You have that doctor-patient
confidentiality thing, right?

I'm not a doctor, but yes.

I am trying to be better,

but what if I don't actually
have "better" in me?

You should find someone to
talk to who isn't a stranger.

- Hello.
- There's something going on with Mark.

- What do you mean?
- I was going through his pockets,

and I found this
list of websites.

Rob, you should have seen
some of the stuff on there.

Have you ever heard
of a boo-cake?

- A what?
- It's when a lady

just sits there
with her mouth open

while a gang of men
hover over her

like they are all angrily
watering the same plant.

Oh, bukkake.

It's awful. I've Googled and it says it
can have a serious effect on your life.

- Bukkake?
- No. Porn addiction.

- What?
- It all makes sense.

This is why he's been acting so
weird for the last few weeks.

They say it can cause depression,
it can affect your relationships,

your work.

Hon, I'm sure there's
some more logical explanation.

We've not had sex
in nine weeks.

I mean, we've had
droughts before,

but usually after a week or two,
I at least get a sleepy erection

pressed into the
small of my back.

- Too much information.
- Do you think I should confront him about it?

No. No, just...

Give it a bit more time.

I'm sure it will
sort itself out.

Sort?

Look, I have to go but I'll
pop around tomorrow, all right?

This is so exciting.
Reminds me of the old days.

I used to be a bit of an actress
myself, before I had Summer.

I always loved being on set.

How's she doing?

Yeah, she's great,
she's really excited.

Rob?

Carly!

Great to see you! Come in.

Wow, you look great.
Love the shoes.

Uh, this is Summer, who you'll
be having sex with this morning.

Hiya.

Nice to meet you, Carly. I thought
you were just great in Emmerdale.

Oh, listen, just so it's all cleared
up, that Twitter stuff...

I was just retweeting a joke someone said.
I've got nothing against blacks.

Great. Okay. You two should
probably decide what you want to do.

The choreography
is totally up for grabs,

but just be prepared that if it's too
soft, people are gonna call bullshit.

Sure.

I'm cool. I just don't want to shove
anything up anywhere or nothing.

Understood.

You okay with nudity?

As long as it's tasteful.

- Hi.
- This is Peter, the Director.

So, plan is to keep it
really glossy and premium.

We'll go for a narrow depth
of field, shooting on 4k,

with a beautiful backlight
for that sensual feel.

Sure.

We're going with the narrative that it's
Carly's boyfriend behind the camera.

Clever

How's your porn talk?

Porn talk?

Sex tape 101. Nothing worse than seeing
a woman with the dead eyes of a shark,

mumbling her way through it like it's
homework. Naming no names. Paris Hilton.

So plenty of...

"That's it! That's it!"
That kind of thing.

Plenty of squeaks and squeals.

Always good.
A little bit of a tremble.

Just have fun with it.
Be creative.

"Ooh. Stick it up there.
Scissor me.

"Come on, you filthy bitch.
Suck it like a fig."

Sorry, I just...

Can somebody get us
some mints or something?

Summer!

She's never done anything like
this. It must be stage fright.

Summer. It's Robyn.
Can I come in?

You know, you don't
have to do this.

Sweetie,

there's a lot of people out here putting a lot
of effort into getting this done for you.

Remember what we always say.

"Being professional is doing
the things that you love to do

"on the days you don't
feel like doing them."

She'll be fine.

I remember her first
Lion King audition at 11.

Bundle of nerves. All worried about
missing school, and all this nonsense.

Get's in the room, blew it.

Can't remember her words,
forgets all the steps. Useless.

So when we get home, I make her pay
back all our train fares up to London

out of her pocket money. So she'd understand
the sacrifices people make for her.

Never fluffed an audition again.

Summer. You open that door
right now, young lady.

Summer, if you're not 100%
comfortable, we can pull the plug.

I don't want to
be unprofessional

- You're not.
- Mum would be furious.

Don't take this the wrong way,
but your mum is being a bit of an ass.

This is your call.

I'm scared that I'm gonna
look like an idiot.

There's a whole team of people out there
whose job it is to make sure you look great.

You don't understand,
I don't know what I'm doing.

Why don't you just pretend you're having
sex with your boyfriend or something?

No, I literally mean
I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm a virgin.

And?

Well she's terrified.

And...

She doesn't want
to do the tape.

So convince her.

I'm not sure I should be convincing
a 17-year-old to do pornography.

What is it you think we do, Robyn?
The glossy, well-thumbed magazines...

The websites full of salacious
little thumbnails.

The mail online is essentially
a porn-hub for the masses.

I thought Pornhub was
pornhub for the masses.

In less than 17 hours, news will be out
that Summer has been dropped by her label.

And when that happens, her career will be
over. She'll be on the scrap-heap by 18.

A couple of years of Panto
if she's lucky.

And nothing but the wasteland
of reality television awaits.

You can't save her soul,
focus on her career.

She may be playing coy now,
but when she's gone from hot to not,

she'll be sucking a runner off in an alleyway
for a 30-second OB on Good Morning, Britain.

Just to keep the dream alive.

- Couldn't we just...
- This was your idea. You make it work.

Or instead of a sex tape, we'll be
making a snuff tape of me murdering you.

Which I shall sell to recoup the money
you've wasted hiring all these people

not to make a sex tape!

Keep it coming. I want to look like a
ten-year-old boy before you're done.

I can't believe
she's a virgin.

Wow. When I was Summer's age,
my hymen was a long-forgotten dream.

We can't force her
to lose her virginity.

Oh, come on. It's with a girl.
Girls don't count.

I watched her duet with Bryn
Turfell in Children in Need.

We could get her drunk. That's what I do
when I don't want to have sex with someone.

Look, we've all had to fake it
at some point in our lives.

It's an unfortunate inevitability
of the human condition.

That's it.

What's what?

A body double.

Where on earth are we going to
find a five-foot-three 17-year-old,

who's willing to have sex on
camera at such short notice?

What are you?
Like, 4'4"?

I'm white,
if you haven't noticed.

And I'm not gonna
pretend to have sex

with a racist soap actress
on camera for money, okay?

There is a line.

Who said anything
about money?

Okay. You call every adult entertainment
company within a thirty-mile radius

and see if they have anyone who
matches Summer's description.

You try escort agencies,
massage parlors.

Go to the nearest phone box and look
at cards on the wall if you have to.

I'll deal with upstairs.

Ed, Joan, Hi.

Is everything all right?

Of course. We're just
ironing out a few kinks.

Do you know where Carly is?

I think she's getting changed.
Uh, what sort of kinks?

I'm so sorry.

Hello.

Right. We're set up and ready to go
just as soon as I receive the file.

Great.

How are things on your end?

What? Yeah. Fine.

Exciting, isn't it?
I feel like a spy.

Yeah.

Listen, Rob. I just wanted to say, thank you
very much, again, for helping me out like this.

That's fine.

To be honest,
it got to a point where I...

What are you doing out here?

Ah. Nothing.

Is that Ruth?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Who are you on the phone to?
- It's... Sorry, it's work.

Yeah, that's fine. I will get on to
that just as soon as I have a minute.

I'll be
out in a sec.

I thought she thought
you were still at work.

Yeah, well, I told her I had to
work from home today.

I needed my computers
to set up the transfers.

Don't call me again.

- I'll drop the footage by tonight. Okay?
- Yeah, Rob, I...

Good.

Carly.

Want one?

How do you feel about
having sex with someone else?

What do you mean?

We're looking into getting a
body double for Summer. She's...

Shy.

Will it affect me fee?

Nope.

Then I don't care who
I'm pretending to have sex with.

Hello.

Okay, something funny
is definitely going on.

What?

I just walked in on Mark hiding in
the shed on the phone to somebody.

So?

So? You should
have seen his face.

He looked like Kelly after
she's eaten one of my lipsticks.

Last night you said
he was addicted to porn.

Yes, well, what if it's worse than that?
I don't know, he seemed super shady.

And I heard a woman's voice
on the other end of the line.

Mark worships the
ground you walk on.

He would never do anything
to hurt you or the kids.

I gotta go. Um, I'll
pop by after work, okay?

Okay bye.

I love you.

Okay, so there's been
a change of plans.

We'll be using a
double for Summer,

so we're gonna need to go with the grunge
here. Handheld amateur feel, just...

Will this double be expecting
a share of the royalty, too?

Robyn,

Can I get a word?

Could you excuse me
for just a minute, please?

Okay. So,
I've called everywhere.

All the adult film companies

were talking about
unions and licenses

and asking if
we have a permit.

Okay, okay.
What about you?

No escort agencies were happy for
their girls to appear on film.

I've got a few leads
I can follow up on,

but it's a long shot.

Okay. Keep trying,

but if we have no luck
in the next half hour,

I guess we'll
just have to cancel.

Cancel?

What about Summer?

This is her career
we're talking about.

We're trying everything
we can to make this work.

Well, she'll just
have to do it herself.

Mrs. Bolton,

your daughter is
uncomfortable with this.

Now, that may not be
an issue for you,

but I'm afraid it
is an issue for me.

I beg your pardon?

Look. We've
still got 17 hours left.

We could get her a tattoo
or a cocaine addiction.

It's not gonna
set the world alight,

But, it may go some way
to counteract...

I'll do it.

Excuse me?

Well, we're the
same height, same size.

People are always
mistaking us for sisters.

Really?

My Pilates teacher

says I still have the
body of an 18-year-old.

So, I may as well

let somebody bloody
see it for a change.

- Are you sure you...
- I spent a lifetime

getting this girl
to where she is today.

Not all of us were
afforded those opportunities

and I do not intend
for it to be over

before it's barely begun.

So...

Let's just get this
over and done with, shall we?

Oh, yeah!

Get me the number
of her Pilates instructor.

Oh, yeah! Fuck harder.

Girl's a natural.

When's it going live?

Being uploaded tonight.
And then it'll leak

before any news of
her deal gets out.

Turn it off, now.

It's reminding me
of boarding school.

Jesus!

Well, whatever happens
with Summer's career,

I think you've done wonders
for her parents' marriage.

I'm gonna have to phone
my mum and break the news.

Melody?
I think this is for you.

Ooh!

IT boy wants to
log into your...

Don't know any computer words.
Something funny.

Stop it.

Seriously though, you're not really
gonna go out with an IT boy, are you?

Melody, go out with
whoever you like.

Eve's just
jealous, 'cause...

There's no RAM
in her hard drive.

Oh! There it is!

You know,
right now would be

a good time to say something about
you keeping your dick in your pants.

I know. I know.

Good.

Really bums me out when
you pull stuff like this.

I'm trying. I really do

- want to be better.
- I know.

I know you do. I know.

Oh, man.
I remember when I did this

for the first time around.

Whoa!

The feeling of it
being real just

hits you like a truck.

Like, all at once.

Up until that
point in my life,

nothing had ever been so...

Permanent. You know?

I just kept staring at it
till my eyes went blurry.

Then, I think I cried
for, like, a day.

Then, I was really happy.

You're not helping.

Okay. All right,
don't stare at it.

- Just... Mmm... Name the 50 states.
- What?

Hey! Just something to
take your mind off of it.

I'm not in kindergarten.

- I'm not naming any of the 50 states...
- ♪ Alabama

♪ Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas

♪ California, Colorado

- ♪ Delaware... Connecticut
- You missed Connecticut.

- ♪ Delaware, Florida
- Florida...

♪ Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho

♪ Illinois, Indiana

♪ Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky

♪ Louisiana, Maine,
Maryland, Massachusetts

♪ Michigan, Minnesota

♪ Missouri, Mississippi...

What does it say?

I'm not pregnant.

Okay!

Okay!

Well, that's good.

That's what
you wanted, right?

Absolutely!

Absolutely.

Yeah. Good.

Mommy, I need to poo!

Thank you for
letting us know.

- I'll leave you to it.
- Okay...

- Thank you.
- Hi, honey.

And, next!

Welcome to my weird...

Office.

How may I help you?

Here.

Thank you.

Blimey.

She did not do that
on Britain's Got Talent.

You were right.

I opened his laptop
to send an email

and it was right there.

Yes. I, um...

- He's a porn addict.
- I... What?

Is this a thing?

No! I...

Mark. Seriously,
I want you to be honest with me.

I...

I'm addicted to porn.

Jesus.

- Mark. Why wouldn't you tell me?
- I'm so sorry.

I...

Was ashamed.

I... Was...

Sorry, I'm just going to
mute this for a second.

Maybe I should...

Why would you think you have to
lie about something like this?

Mark, I mean...

God, you know...

You need to go off into the
shed and have a handy, just...

Lock the door,
you know. I don't...

I mean, that's not
a relationship, is it?

Where you can't even tell
me if something is wrong?

You can talk to me,
you stupid a-hole.

God, I mean...

Who knows?
Maybe I would even

wanna watch it with you,
you know?

I'm not so vanilla that I can't...

Oh, my god!

- Is that Summer Bolton?
- Hmm.

Yeah. Give it to me! Oh...

I'm just gonna
leave you to...

My goodness!

What must her
poor mother think?

Hey. What's up?

Okay, don't be annoyed
at me or anything.

I swear I wasn't
being stalker-y,

- I just... I saw it in the bin.
- What?

Did you... I mean...

I was a couple of days late,
so I did it as a precaution, but I'm not.

Okay.

I'm just...
I'm sorry, I just...

I saw it,
and then my heart was just like...

I mean,
I know we're trying,

but seeing it
just made me feel...

Like it was
so much more real.

- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to panic you.
- Oh, no, no.

I... I wasn't panicked.
I was...

I don't know. I was...
I was... happy.

- Really?
- Yeah. I mean...

It's mental. You know I got a fear
because of my dad not being around

and my little sister
doing it too young,

and then
watching them struggle.

But I saw it,
and it just made me feel like...

It was a feeling in my gut.
It said, "Yeah, we'd crush it."

Not literally.

I'm sorry. No. I...
I know I sound like a nutjob right now.

You weren't scared?

Scared?

No, I was...

Yes, I was scared,
but more excited though.

Legit.

I love you.

I love you too, kid.

Do you wanna take
another run at it?

Absolutely.

Just give me
five minutes.

It's in my nature.

Subtitles by explosiveskull