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ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,
my mom began work on her opus.
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00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:06,006
The Beverly Goldberg Cookbook.
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00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,509
She awkwardly pecked away
at the typewriter for hours,
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,911
carefully listing
every Parm-filled recipe
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00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,980
with meticulous detail.
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,783
She was so hell-bent on
making her book a reality
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00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,352
that she enlisted me
to take the cover photo.
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00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:22,323
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
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00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,692
I don't know.
I... I'm not feeling this.
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00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,494
Maybe bring
a little energy to it.
11
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,797
Maybe not that much.
12
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,133
ADULT ADAM:
My mom was determined to make every recipe
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00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:34,034
a cheesy, over-sauced
masterpiece.
14
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,036
Naturally, we had to be
the taste-testers,
15
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,206
which was exhausting
for everyone.
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00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,508
My belly's
at full capacity. Oh, God.
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00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,777
ADULT ADAM:
Yep, no one was off the hook, day or night.
18
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:44,978
Incoming.
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00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,348
Gah... Mom!
We're trying to watch a movie!
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00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,484
And what better movie snack
than my triple-cream beef stew?
21
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:53,020
Oh, God. Please no. I have
a major lactose intoler...
22
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,556
Ooh, that is
rich in dairy.
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00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,991
(SNORING)
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00:00:58,025 --> 00:01:00,027
Linguini and clams
coming in.
25
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,362
Mmm.
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00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,697
(MUTTERING HAPPILY)
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00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,703
* I'm twisted up inside
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00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,207
* But nonetheless
I feel the need to say
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00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,044
* I don't know the future
30
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:21,182
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *
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00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,751
ADULT ADAM:
It was February 27th, 1980-something,
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and my brother and I were busy
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00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,355
getting our daily dose
of exercise.
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00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,690
Okay, kiddos.
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00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:32,493
Stop with your beep-boops
and your lady-reading.
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00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,529
Your cousin is gonna
be here any minute.
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00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,731
How exactly are we related
to this schmo, again?
38
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,533
You know my mom's
great-aunt Rose? ERICA: Who?
39
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:40,868
No.
Already bored.
40
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,071
Well, Rose's sister Esther
married Schmooly,
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00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,707
they had two sons,
Freddie and Ivan,
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00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,709
who each married twin sisters.
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00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,144
So, he's not so much
our cousin
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00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:51,612
as he is a total stranger.
45
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,013
Family is family.
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00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,615
Even if they're from
the Old Country.
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00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,284
We live in modern times now.
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00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,952
How is a country
still old? How?
49
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:01,289
That's exactly why
I brought him to visit,
50
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,723
so you can get to know him
51
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,125
and ask him questions
about life back in Russia.
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00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:06,627
Wait, he's Russian?
53
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,930
That means he's been bred
since birth in a KGB lab
54
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,599
to destroy
our wonderful democracy.
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00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,268
Sit down.
He's not a spy, Barry.
56
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:17,538
He comes from a tiny village
that barely has running water.
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00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,808
The floor of his home is dirt,
for God's sake.
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00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,410
How does he know when
he's done sweeping?
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00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,278
He never is.
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00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,414
Look, I think meeting
Groiseh Gleb
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00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,782
is just what you kids need
to get a little perspective.
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00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,050
Wait, what's his name?
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00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,452
Gleb.
Are you saying Glen?
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00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,586
No, Gleb.
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00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,054
As in actress Glenn Close?
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00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,155
Gleb!
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00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,490
So, not Glenn Close.
68
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,592
We've got three Glebs
in the family,
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00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,093
which is confusing,
70
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,896
so that's why everyone
calls him Groiseh Gleb.
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00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:43,997
What's "groiseh" mean?
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00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:46,467
Groiseh means
big and plump.
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00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,670
Trust me, you're gonna
love Big Gleb. (LAUGHS)
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00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,040
Of the three Glebs,
he's the funniest Gleb.
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00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,778
There he is.
How ya been, Gleb?
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00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,280
(IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) Fine.
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00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,014
You just flew in from Kiev.
78
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,484
Boy, your arms must be tired.
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00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,919
Yes. My whole body's
very tired.
80
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,088
You think this Gleb came
instead of funny Gleb?
81
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,890
Bag? Take.
82
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,626
Whoa! That is dense.
83
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,296
So. Gleb.
How are things?
84
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,664
GLEB: Hungry.
85
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,131
ERICA: Okey-dokey.
86
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,468
Is okay?
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00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:21,802
You're family.
88
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,671
Our plums are your plums.
89
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,939
Mmm.
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00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,341
So juicy.
91
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,709
Nothing like this back home.
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00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:32,813
And to think, you kids just
take that plum for granted.
93
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,483
Uh-huh. How long's
this dude gonna be here?
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00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,619
Two weeks.
There's only so many fruits we can introduce him to.
95
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:41,489
We live in the birthplace
of America.
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00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,791
Show the man around.
97
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,393
I'm gonna go get him
a banana.
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00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,760
He'll go crazy.
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00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,997
ADULT ADAM:
And just like that, we had to entertain
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00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,899
our Old Country cousin, Gleb.
101
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,302
While my mom was busy
entertaining the Frentas
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00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,703
with a fancy brunch.
103
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,237
I mean, I knew
Babs had range,
104
00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:00,207
but watching her play
a young male farmer?
105
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,009
I mean, transcendent.
106
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,545
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, well, speaking of cookbooks...
107
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,814
Uh, no one's speaking
of cookbooks, Beverly.
108
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,349
We were actually just
talking about Yentl.
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00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,250
Yeah, well,
now speaking of cookbooks,
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00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:12,553
um, did I mention
I'm writing a cookbook?
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00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,488
You mean the cookbook you've
somehow managed to work into
112
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,856
every conversation
in the last month?
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00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,257
That's probably
the one, yes.
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00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:20,861
Well, I have been very busy
cooking and taste-testing,
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00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,330
practicing my banter
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00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,064
for the inevitable
big city book signings.
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00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,899
If you need any help
with your book,
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00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,001
I can slip you
my chicken piccata recipe.
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00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,269
I can help, too.
120
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,772
Sometimes I think my
peanut-butter blondies
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00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,408
are the only thing
my family respects about me.
122
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:37,177
They are,
and that's so generous, but this is...
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00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,580
(CLICKS TONGUE) It's
a Beverly Goldberg cookbook.
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00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,615
I swear to God,
if you say the word "cookbook" one more time,
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00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,684
I'm gonna stab myself with
this tiny jam spreader!
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00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,218
Me too!
All you talk about
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00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:46,687
is that gosh darn cookbook
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00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,722
and how you're gonna be thick
as thieves with Julia Child!
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00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,725
All I'm saying is that
sometimes you just know
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00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,394
you're gonna be best friends
with someone
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00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,029
before you meet them,
and that's obviously very threatening
132
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,130
to the three of you.
133
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:58,899
Oh.
It really is not!
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00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,701
It's just that when
we all get together,
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00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,603
all you do is talk
about cooking.
136
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,638
Or the Bevolution.
Or you trying to be a lawyer.
137
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,106
Wow.
138
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,209
I was not prepared
for that tsunami of jealousy
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00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,578
coming at me right now.
140
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,746
I'm sorry the rest of you
don't have anything exciting
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00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,482
going on in your lives.
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00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,716
You know what?
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00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:16,917
I think you should go.
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00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,952
Go? It's my house!
You go!
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00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,288
Oh, but before you go,
which one of these
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00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,491
would look better on
the front of my cookbook?
147
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,092
Unbelievable.
You're the worst.
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00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,628
ADULT ADAM: As the Frentas
ditched my mom,
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00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,831
we were doing our best
to get to know our cousin.
150
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,199
Where's unfunny Gleb?
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00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:35,736
Outside opening and closing
the garage door with the clicker.
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00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,671
On the plus side,
it killed three hours.
153
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:40,107
Why are we stuck
babysitting a complete stranger?
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00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,274
(GASPS)
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00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,243
Stranger. That's it!
156
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,978
ADULT ADAM:
Yep, Barry's brilliant plan
157
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,114
was inspired by this '80s gem.
158
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:50,751
Cheggit! Looks like we got
our very own Balki Bartokomous.
159
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,786
ERICA: he lovable foreign guy
from Perfect Strangers?
160
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:53,954
Oh, yes.
161
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,524
And that makes
the three of us Coe-sin Larry.
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00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,660
ADULT ADAM:
Crazy as it seems, this was 100% true.
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00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,995
Just like the classic sitcom,
we had a kooky cousin
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00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,664
from the Old Country
living with us.
165
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,298
Only one question remained.
166
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,667
But what do we need
a Balki for?
167
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,937
Hello? We got a dude
who will do whatever we say
168
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,873
'cause he's trusting
and unfamiliar with our ways.
169
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,141
Do what, exactly?
170
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,443
He's an adult man.
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00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,445
That means
he can buy us beer
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00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,947
and rent us cars
and co-sign loans.
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The sky's the limit.
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00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,149
Come on.
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00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,618
Gleb won't just blindly
do whatever we say.
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Really?
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00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,822
For the past ten minutes,
he's been listening to
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00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:31,324
that special cassette
that cleans the tape deck.
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00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,694
Dude, using our childlike
foreign relative
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00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,963
for our own selfish gain
is crossing a line.
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00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,831
Not to mention,
Perfect Strangers
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00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,733
is built on the flimsiest
of premises.
183
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,302
You both make good points
that are hard to ignore.
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00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:44,104
And yet, I will.
185
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,307
ADULT ADAM:
And so Barry proceeded
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00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,643
to Perfect Stranger
our cousin Gleb.
187
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:52,212
It just so happens,
it was on the windiest day
188
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,147
in Philadelphia history.
189
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:57,551
* Sometimes the world
looks perfect
190
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,521
* Nothing to rearrange
191
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:04,157
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
192
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:08,529
* Like you need some
kind of change
193
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,899
* No matter what the odds
are this time Whoo-hoo!
194
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,267
* Nothing's gonna stand
in my way
195
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,069
* This flame in my heart
196
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,771
* Like a long-lost friend
197
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:21,509
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
198
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,043
Don't move.
199
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,713
* Standing tall
200
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,848
So, you are using him
as your Balki
201
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,249
even though
we told you not to?
202
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,184
I am.
Looks kinda fun.
203
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,285
It is.
204
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,623
* Standing tall
205
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:39,126
* On the wings of my dream
206
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,061
* The rain and thunder
207
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,763
* The wind and haze
208
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,066
* I'm bound for better days
209
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,703
* It's my life, my dream
210
00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:53,306
* And nothing's gonna
stop me now *
211
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,275
ADULT ADAM: Hanging with Gleb
turned out to be a real hoot.
212
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,376
Aah!
213
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:57,745
As for my mom, she was ready
214
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,146
to make a real apology.
215
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,983
Ladies, thank you for
coming here today.
216
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,786
I know things got
a bit tense at our last brunch,
217
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:09,289
but everything's made better
with tea and babka.
218
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,390
Babka does help.
219
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,825
(WOMEN CHUCKLE)
220
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,094
Look, you guys
are my dearest friends,
221
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,764
and I don't want you
thinking that I can't go
222
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,066
ten seconds without
talking about myself.
223
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,068
Well, it's only
every 30 seconds.
224
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,336
(WOMEN SNICKER)
(CHUCKLES)
225
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,005
Oh, come on.
226
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,007
You all know I can go
at least 30 minutes.
227
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,275
(LAUGHTER)
228
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,110
What? I can.
229
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,412
I'll tell ya what.
If you can go ten minutes
230
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,782
without making a single
reference to yourself...
231
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:35,949
Your kids.
Your opinions.
232
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,085
Your sweaters.
Your couponing expertise.
233
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,252
How Farrah Fawcett
stole your look.
234
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,320
Your matchmaking.
235
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,622
Let's not forget
about the cookbook.
236
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,456
Then you'll have
proven us wrong.
237
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:46,760
And what happens
when I immediately prove you all wrong?
238
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,596
Well, then, we will admit
you're right,
239
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,497
and then for the next
ten brunches,
240
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,365
all we'll do
is talk about you.
241
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,034
That's my dream.
242
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,169
Challenge accepted, suckas.
243
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,504
(LAUGHS) Go!
244
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,473
ADULT ADAM:
And so began my mom's epic journey to listen.
245
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,541
Yeah.
246
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,276
Turns out, it was hard.
247
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,446
Mm. Mm-hmm.
She endured stories about other people's kids...
248
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,815
(LAUGHS)
249
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,850
...other people's opinions,
250
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,419
other people's lives...
251
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,454
I'm just gonna stretch.
You guys keep talking.
252
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,324
...and the hardest of all,
other people's cooking.
253
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,827
...when Chad said that
my chicken was dry.
254
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:20,861
Cookbook!
255
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,396
Cookbook!
256
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,532
Oh, I have a cookbook
with so many recipes
257
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,968
that Chad would like more
than your bone-dry chicken!
258
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,270
Also, Adam went
to a sci-fi convention,
259
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,705
and Barry's applying to Penn,
260
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,006
and Erica, there's not much
going on there,
261
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,241
but she's still
a beautiful angel
262
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,508
and so much better
than your kids,
263
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:36,844
and, oh, my God,
that felt so good.
264
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:37,978
And you lose.
265
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,379
Come on.
266
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,981
That had to have been
at least nine minutes.
267
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,049
It was two.
268
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,383
Oh, speaking
of telling time,
269
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,485
you know, Murray got me
this new Swatch for our anniversary.
270
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,754
Okay.
We're gonna go now.
271
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,288
No. Double or nothing?
272
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,690
Fine. Go.
273
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,359
Farrah did steal my look!
274
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,197
ADULT ADAM:
We had Perfect Stranger -ed our distant cousin Gleb,
275
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,699
and it was all
working out perfectly.
276
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,400
At least, we thought it was.
277
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,703
So, how's it going
with your cousin?
278
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:03,837
Aces.
So great.
279
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,907
We've been having a blast
showing Gleb around.
280
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,742
Like yesterday, he was dying
281
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:11,344
to drive me to the Starlog
Convention in Jersey.
282
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,380
Oh, and today, he insisted
283
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,515
on renting me a shore house
for the summer.
284
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,051
He's the coolest barely-cousin
I've ever had.
285
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,552
No! Is lies!
286
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:22,589
They treat me like idiot
and use me for your personal gain.
287
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,993
The sweaty boy
make me buy crossbow.
288
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,095
Crossbow?
You can't have that!
289
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,363
Ah, according to this license,
I can.
290
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,733
Lady sister make me
rent beach house
291
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,302
so can party like NBA star.
292
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:38,038
And tiny one
make me drive him
293
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,708
to American virgin
space festival.
294
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,275
I'm just gonna assume
there's something
295
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,811
lost in translation here.
296
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,979
You raise spoiled children
297
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:50,951
who make me be
Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Stranger TV show.
298
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,886
You get Perfect Strangers
in the Old Country?
299
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:53,987
Nyet!
300
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,789
You play it in front of me
301
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,358
and say your plan out loud,
like fools!
302
00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,592
That, we did.
303
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,528
What is wrong with you?
304
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,663
You were supposed
to get to know him.
305
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,232
In our defense,
our time together
306
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,267
was packed with kooky
misadventures
307
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,902
and we had very little time
to dig in.
308
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,270
Oh, my God.
309
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,639
He came all this way
to America.
310
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,274
Show him America.
311
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,509
ADULT ADAM:
And show him, we did.
312
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,146
(TIRES SCREECH)
We jetted off for a day of bonding with Coe-sin Gleb.
313
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,348
(HORN HONKS)
We knew the guy had a thing for fresh fruit,
314
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,950
so we began at
the Baederwood Market.
315
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,252
It made him happy.
316
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,955
Next, we took Gleb to see
the latest Rocky movie.
317
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,522
I must break you.
318
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:30,791
ADULT ADAM:
But the Russian lost.
319
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,192
It made him sad.
320
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,661
So, to cheer up funny Gleb,
321
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,496
we figured we'd introduce
him to America's
322
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:40,000
favorite Russian comedian
of the '80s. Yakov Smirnoff.
323
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,002
Good thing about doing
comedy in Russia,
324
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,771
you have captured audience.
325
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,238
(LAUGHTER)
326
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,507
ADULT ADAM:
Unfortunately, Gleb found his act a little too real.
327
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,476
What's going on?
328
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,112
I thought you were out
showing Gleb the town.
329
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,714
No! First they show me
Rocky IV,
330
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,817
then they force me
to listen to man
331
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,019
who make fun of horrors
of the past.
332
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,154
Why? Is no humor!
333
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:02,722
Okay, well,
when he puts it like that,
334
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,724
it sounds like we're not
good family members.
335
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:08,896
Albert,
your children's children are people of garbage.
336
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,198
I have to say I agree.
337
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,500
All I wanted was to
give you everything
338
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,803
my family never had.
339
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,671
But all I did
was spoil you rotten.
340
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:21,041
You got to be very careful
of what jokes you say.
341
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,810
If you say, like,
"Take my wife, please,"
342
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,544
you get home, she's gone.
343
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,879
(LAUGHTER)
344
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,684
Bev! Oh, wow!
345
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,253
You're here! Hello!
346
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,387
Hey, Ginzy.
347
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,423
Just thought I'd pop by
and return your Cuisinart.
348
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,624
Oh, no. Keep it.
It's yours forever.
349
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,426
Have a nice day.
BEVERLY: What?
350
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,594
You're brunching.
351
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,196
Without me?
352
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,231
We can explain.
353
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,934
Yes.
354
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,902
Okay, you know what?
It's fine.
355
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,339
Words were said,
feelings were hurt,
356
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,507
but I am a big enough person
357
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,443
to pretend that none of this
has ever happened.
358
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,078
Sorry, seat's taken.
359
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,679
ADULT ADAM:
But this happened.
360
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,382
The Frentas replaced my mom
with another yenta.
361
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,117
Oh, for God's sakes.
362
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,454
You invited Eileen Leffler
instead of me?
363
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,290
We just want a friend
who doesn't only talk about herself.
364
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,693
And she listens to us
and even asks follow-up questions.
365
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,795
Here's a follow-up question,
Linda.
366
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,965
Not a lot of people came
to your New Year's party,
367
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,399
and I felt bad for you.
368
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,134
That is not a question.
369
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,435
It's a hurtful statement.
370
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,937
I cannot believe
you just thought
371
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,105
you were gonna replace me.
372
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,107
No one is replacing anyone.
373
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,641
There's room
for five Frentas.
374
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,044
Well, there's only four
drying stations at the salon.
375
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,812
What, someone's gonna sit
at the end
376
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,614
with a towel on her head,
like a chump?
377
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,549
I thought we would
just take turns.
378
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:41,288
Look, you are my dearest
and closest friends,
379
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,623
and I love you so much,
380
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,926
but right now you're acting
like a bunch of (BLEEP).
381
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,428
Oh.
Okay, if I may pipe in here.
382
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,364
Beverly,
I truly admire you,
383
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:54,067
and I think you
are an amazing woman,
384
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,904
but it seems like
you're acting like the (BLEEP) here.
385
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,438
How dare you?
386
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,572
Wow!
387
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,774
The potty mouth
on this one!
388
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,511
Huh? That's who you wanna
replace me with?
389
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,612
Hmm.
390
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,314
Well, (BLEEP)
391
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,150
ADULT ADAM:
And so my mom swore off the Frentas forever.
392
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,352
Meanwhile, Pops had
taken it upon himself
393
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,355
to show just how spoiled
his grandkids had become.
394
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,623
What the hell?
395
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,658
Why is Gleb wearing
my Flyers shirt?
396
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,028
Forget your dumb shirt.
Why does he have my Caboodle?
397
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,762
You mean Gleb's Caboodle.
398
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,298
Is perfect for storing
beets and cabbage.
399
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,833
I've decided to
take everything
400
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,368
I've ever bought you
401
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,937
and give it to Gleb.
What?
402
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,304
No way!
But it's our stuff!
403
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,640
But Gleb actually
appreciates it
404
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,808
and, frankly, needs it
more than you.
405
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,110
He needs my Chairry?
406
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,378
He can't have my keytar.
407
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,447
Gleb needs
my Nintendo Power Pad?
408
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,881
You mean Nintendo blanket.
409
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,183
This is crazy!
410
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,018
What's he gonna do with
a lacrosse stick?
411
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,819
Is perfect for
scooping up rodent
412
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,288
or fighting bat.
413
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,522
Not cool, Pops!
414
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,960
He can't just take my "WKRP
in Cincinnati" record player!
415
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,361
Is not for making pancake?
416
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,197
No. It's for living out
radio workplace fantasies.
417
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,665
And if I have to explain
that to you,
418
00:14:58,698 --> 00:14:59,866
it's clear you don't
deserve it.
419
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,334
He deserves it
more than you.
420
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:04,537
Okay, I think if we just
calm down and take a breath,
421
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,907
we'd all realize that
Gleb can't take my GI Joe Space Shuttle
422
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,542
and Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker!
423
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,444
I need those to live!
424
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,046
I think that's
the problem.
425
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,714
Fine! We admit it.
426
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,717
We're selfish kids
and we don't know how good we got it.
427
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,054
Now give me back
my WWF Wrestling Ring,
428
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:24,057
or I will cry right here,
right now.
429
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,725
You learned nothing.
430
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:29,062
All I wanted to do was show
you kids where I came from.
431
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:32,065
It was my fault for
thinking you'd care.
432
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,203
Here. Take your
dog snow machine.
433
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,870
We have plenty of snow
in Russia.
434
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,206
ADULT ADAM: Pops was right.
435
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,573
We really did need
to take a long,
436
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,242
hard look at ourselves.
437
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,677
Meanwhile, my mom was looking
for some new friends.
438
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,380
Hey, there's my Mentas!
439
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,349
Mentas?
Mentas.
440
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,883
You know, men yentas
441
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,019
who are friends also.
442
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,086
I just coined it.
443
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,187
Well, un-coin it.
444
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,955
What are you doing
at Bill's house?
445
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,924
Sure, I'd love to
hang out with you.
446
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,459
Thanks. (CLEARS THROAT)
447
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,595
So... (CHUCKLES)
448
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,064
What's on tap for today?
449
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,465
Watching the big sports event?
450
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,566
Terrible game.
451
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:07,700
It's unwatchable.
452
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:08,935
Maybe we should have brunch.
453
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,103
You boys look hungry.
454
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,139
Got it covered.
Wing helmet.
455
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,240
I think I'll pass.
456
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,307
More for us.
457
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,742
So, this is your
entire day, huh?
458
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,778
Sure.
Sitting on your ass, eating helmet wings?
459
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,547
Sure.
That's what Bill wanted.
460
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,914
It is his birthday and all.
461
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,816
For God's sakes,
it's his birthday?
462
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,685
Did you at least
get him a gift?
463
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,720
Of course he did.
Wing helmet.
464
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,156
Show her the wing helmet
again, Mur.
465
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,757
I don't think she got
a close enough look.
466
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,326
Wing helmet.
I've seen the wing helmet.
467
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,063
Hey, what's going on here?
It's Sunday.
468
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,330
Why aren't you out
eating quiche
469
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,632
with the ladies who walk
in front of my TV?
470
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,335
You know, the ones whose,
uh, hair shadows I see in the dining room.
471
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,737
I know who you mean.
472
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:49,676
And they don't wanna see me
'cause they said I'm selfish.
473
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,444
And they're right.
474
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,313
I've been a bad friend.
475
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:56,949
Enjoy your game.
476
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,886
Sorry to bother you.
477
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,122
Oh, boy.
478
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,259
ADULT ADAM:
The Frentas called out my mom for being selfish.
479
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,628
Luckily, Beverly had a Menta
in her corner.
480
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,363
Ladies, it seems
we have a visitor.
481
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,998
This will only take a second.
482
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,202
Uh, Marcie, Shelly, Tabitha...
483
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,769
Um, I'm sorry,
I forgot your name.
484
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,438
You've actually forgotten
all our names.
485
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,540
And if Beverly sent you,
you can tell her...
486
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:21,841
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
487
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,276
She did not send me.
488
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,312
I came on my own
to let you guys know
489
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,846
what a great friend she is.
490
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,481
Who only wants to talk
about herself.
491
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:32,219
Yes. But to me, she only
talks about you guys.
492
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,522
Murray, it's sweet you're here
and honestly surprising
493
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,591
to see you out of your chair,
but we know it's not true.
494
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:39,892
Oh, but it is true.
495
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,162
She was so jazzed
when Jimothy
496
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:44,063
won that Flower Grower
of the Year Award.
497
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,199
It's Charles, and, um,
when I mentioned it to her,
498
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,667
she didn't seem to care.
499
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,569
But she does care.
500
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,004
And you, uh, Cindy?
501
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,340
Your place in Florida?
502
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,642
She's doing everything she can
to get me down there.
503
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,210
It's Essie.
And really?
504
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,445
And you, Patty,
505
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,248
she cannot stop talking
about your son Stevie
506
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,717
and how he can go to any
Ivy League School that he wants.
507
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,919
It's Geoff.
But that's sweet.
508
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,422
Look, I know she talks
a lot about her family.
509
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:12,024
But to her, you're family.
510
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,063
Wow.
511
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,898
What's all this?
512
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,634
Well, we were hoping
you might like a little brunch.
513
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:23,870
But you don't need me.
514
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:27,207
And why would you?
I haven't been there for you.
515
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,108
And I know I always
talk about my life,
516
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:34,947
but it's just because
I envy you all in so many ways.
517
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,217
I just want to be
as amazing as you are.
518
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,652
No. You are amazing.
519
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,053
Now, I don't know
if you've heard,
520
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,622
but you're writing a cookbook.
521
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,257
Everybody's talking
about it.
522
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,126
Well, good.
523
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,862
Because I'm gonna need those
recipes you offered up.
524
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,898
I'm gonna put them
front and center.
525
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,400
Really?
526
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,235
Of course.
527
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,238
I mean, yes, it's
a Beverly Goldberg Cookbook,
528
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:01,541
but who's Beverly Goldberg
without her Frentas?
529
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:04,544
ADULT ADAM:
With that, my mom got her best friends back.
530
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,246
All it took was a little help
531
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,080
from the most unlikely
of places.
532
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:11,117
Thanks to my dad,
the Frentas finally realized
533
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,587
that when it came to my mom,
they were family, too.
534
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:17,557
Wow.
Is that you?
535
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:18,891
Doesn't matter.
536
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,293
No, it does.
537
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,428
You're right.
538
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,929
We're stupid and selfish
539
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,598
and have no idea
how good we have it.
540
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:29,269
Look, I didn't want you to
feel bad about what you have,
541
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:34,140
but we all dreamed of coming
here to start a new life.
542
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,009
Well, we really are grateful
that we have a grandfather
543
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:38,678
who was brave enough
to go look for one.
544
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,947
Thank you.
545
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,183
But I'm not the one
you have to apologize to.
546
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,456
ADULT ADAM: In the end,
sometimes the best way to say you're sorry
547
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,224
is to start over.
548
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,593
You're packing?
549
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,462
But your trip's not over
for another week.
550
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,864
I think is nothing
to see here.
551
00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:00,132
You may be wrong about that.
552
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,703
Is tickets?
553
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,472
To the Phillies game.
554
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:08,675
We wanted to show you America
can be pretty awesome.
555
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,110
* Standing tall
556
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:14,281
* On the wings of my dream
557
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,516
ADULT ADAM:
Gleb ended up having the best trip of his life.
558
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,650
And 'cause of Pops,
559
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:20,987
we made memories that
would last a lifetime.
560
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,622
That's the thing about family.
561
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,856
You'll find that if you just
562
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,157
take the time
to get to know them,
563
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,594
they can go
from being perfect strangers
564
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,228
to people you really love.
565
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,532
* It's my life, my dream
566
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:36,569
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *
567
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:44,777
(DING)
568
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,680
(DING)
569
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,883
This American fashion
make no sense.
570
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,585
Those are Z Cavariccis.
571
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,587
They're the coolest
in trouser technology.
572
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,889
But why must there
be two belts?
573
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,592
'Cause two is always
better than one.
574
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,994
Just like wings
on an airplane or a Twix.
575
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,064
Gleb not sure he can pull off
LL Cool J hat.
576
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,400
Oh, you will
with these bad boys.
577
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:11,037
But you see much less
with these.
578
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,372
It's not about seeing.
579
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:13,906
It's about being seen.
580
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,274
It seems like ugly fad
581
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,344
which will not stand
test of time, yes?
582
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:22,382
Trust us, G, the way you look
right now will always be cool.
583
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,716
Always.
584
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,453
BARRY: There we go.
585
00:21:26,503 --> 00:21:31,053
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