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1
00:00:04,601 --> 00:00:06,069
- Hey.
- Hey.
2
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,303
The school called the house.
They're trying to reach you.
3
00:00:08,328 --> 00:00:10,172
Funny how you go to school there
4
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,771
and yet they can't seem to find you.
5
00:00:12,842 --> 00:00:14,242
I'm on the school grounds.
6
00:00:14,346 --> 00:00:16,737
I'm just places where
they can't find me.
7
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,849
What does that mean? Are you tunneling?
8
00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:21,467
- Are you in the trees?
- [SODA CAN POPS]
9
00:00:21,492 --> 00:00:23,884
No. I go places to read.
10
00:00:26,621 --> 00:00:28,158
Fine. The school has a bomb shelter.
11
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,606
I figured I'd have the place to myself
12
00:00:29,631 --> 00:00:32,671
unless somebody in Washington
makes a really big mistake.
13
00:00:32,776 --> 00:00:34,757
All right, stop doing that.
14
00:00:34,862 --> 00:00:36,809
And the office said
they need a Word document
15
00:00:36,879 --> 00:00:39,407
of your article so they can
print it in the school paper.
16
00:00:39,477 --> 00:00:41,629
My article's going in the paper?
17
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:43,989
You had good news, and
you were screwing with me?
18
00:00:44,094 --> 00:00:46,006
Well, I don't play tennis or anything,
19
00:00:46,111 --> 00:00:48,400
so I have to have some fun.
20
00:00:48,471 --> 00:00:49,950
Can you at least tell
me what it's called?
21
00:00:49,975 --> 00:00:51,135
Yeah. It's an article called
22
00:00:51,206 --> 00:00:52,777
"My Mom Has No Life of Her Own,
23
00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:54,890
So She's Desperately Trying
to Live Through Mine."
24
00:00:56,061 --> 00:00:58,487
Oh, my God. It's the
Ghost of Children Past.
25
00:01:01,293 --> 00:01:04,299
Wow. What's with the massive
amount of baby supplies?
26
00:01:04,404 --> 00:01:05,838
It's for Becky.
27
00:01:05,943 --> 00:01:07,787
We were at the mall, grabbing some tools
28
00:01:07,858 --> 00:01:09,463
before they close the Sears,
29
00:01:09,533 --> 00:01:12,745
and there's a baby store
folding up right next door.
30
00:01:12,816 --> 00:01:15,002
You know, it used to be a Brookstone
31
00:01:15,072 --> 00:01:17,943
that used to be a RadioShack
that used to be a Spencer Gifts.
32
00:01:19,107 --> 00:01:20,609
The people in the baby store,
33
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,763
they thought we were a couple.
34
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:27,106
Sometimes, the younger man
needs the older man's wisdom.
35
00:01:29,057 --> 00:01:31,688
Wait. You and Emilio went
shopping for baby stuff?
36
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,205
We almost grabbed you a stroller, too,
37
00:01:33,229 --> 00:01:35,279
but we thought you'd
like to pick that out.
38
00:01:35,348 --> 00:01:39,758
But we did get you a breast pump.
39
00:01:41,196 --> 00:01:43,211
"For all shape and sizes."
40
00:01:44,444 --> 00:01:46,015
So a stroller is too personal,
41
00:01:46,085 --> 00:01:49,024
but the breast pump, you
figured, "What the hell?"
42
00:01:49,094 --> 00:01:50,734
If you'd like to buy
something different,
43
00:01:50,804 --> 00:01:51,951
I can take it back tomorrow.
44
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:53,743
Thank you.
45
00:01:57,506 --> 00:02:00,068
You want to hear
something incredibly sad?
46
00:02:00,173 --> 00:02:02,119
Who doesn't?
47
00:02:02,225 --> 00:02:04,753
Ben asked me and the kids
48
00:02:04,822 --> 00:02:08,240
to live with him in
Chicago, but I can't go.
49
00:02:08,311 --> 00:02:09,984
Why not?
50
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:12,217
Well, I promised you I'd stay here
51
00:02:12,287 --> 00:02:14,542
to be here for you and the baby, so...
52
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:16,799
Oh, yeah. Right. Good.
53
00:02:16,869 --> 00:02:19,603
Uh, and it's such a great opportunity.
54
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,064
I mean, I can work
at a big-city tabloid,
55
00:02:22,135 --> 00:02:24,526
and the kids can be in
the city that they love.
56
00:02:24,631 --> 00:02:26,988
It's really a shame, but oh, well.
57
00:02:27,845 --> 00:02:30,065
I'm giving you an
opportunity to be gracious
58
00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:31,684
while I'm trying to
renege on my promise.
59
00:02:31,709 --> 00:02:33,621
I could use a little help here.
60
00:02:34,718 --> 00:02:37,451
Of course you should
go, you little whiner.
61
00:02:37,555 --> 00:02:39,331
[LAUGHS]
62
00:02:39,402 --> 00:02:41,315
But you still have to keep your promise.
63
00:02:41,385 --> 00:02:42,477
If I go into rehab,
64
00:02:42,548 --> 00:02:44,666
I'm FedExing the baby to you in Chicago.
65
00:02:45,694 --> 00:02:47,550
Okay, just don't make it
where I have to sign for it,
66
00:02:47,574 --> 00:02:48,833
'cause sometimes I'm not there.
67
00:02:48,929 --> 00:02:50,926
[LAUGHS]
68
00:03:20,399 --> 00:03:25,476
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
69
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,389
"The Conners" is recorded
70
00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:31,617
in front of a live studio audience.
71
00:03:31,722 --> 00:03:33,583
- Hey, Jackie. I'm home.
- JACKIE: Hey!
72
00:03:33,686 --> 00:03:35,451
Oh, you are really missing some fun
73
00:03:35,555 --> 00:03:37,898
at the Renaissance Winter Fair.
74
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,342
Today, we recreated the
stacking of the bodies
75
00:03:40,445 --> 00:03:43,155
that were found under
the Great Snow of 1430.
76
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,538
Oh, my God.
77
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,045
Oh, my God.
78
00:03:48,148 --> 00:03:49,920
Oh, my God. You finally did it.
79
00:03:50,023 --> 00:03:53,270
I know she was horrible to you, but...
80
00:03:53,339 --> 00:03:55,044
but she was your mother.
81
00:03:55,148 --> 00:03:57,316
Now, we're gonna have to say
that this was an accident.
82
00:03:57,358 --> 00:03:58,695
What?
83
00:03:58,797 --> 00:03:59,968
These are drapes.
84
00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:01,977
You thought this was Bev?
85
00:04:02,079 --> 00:04:04,154
[LAUGHING] No. No. Oh.
86
00:04:04,256 --> 00:04:06,499
She's at the dog races in Dubuque.
87
00:04:06,601 --> 00:04:08,040
Oh, my God. No. [LAUGHS]
88
00:04:08,142 --> 00:04:10,015
It would've been cool, though, huh?
89
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,355
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
90
00:04:11,457 --> 00:04:13,967
Well, I... I... I've only
known her a short while,
91
00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:17,450
- but yes. Yes.
- That's why I love you. Mwah!
92
00:04:17,553 --> 00:04:18,998
Well, since you love me, may I throw
93
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,838
some of my outfits from
the fair into the laundry?
94
00:04:21,940 --> 00:04:23,076
Oh, sure.
95
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,584
[CLEARS THROAT]
96
00:04:30,212 --> 00:04:32,119
What's this? Oh.
97
00:04:32,221 --> 00:04:35,335
Oh, that's a 15th century
ladies' undergarment.
98
00:04:35,437 --> 00:04:37,946
Those pouches are called "breastbags."
99
00:04:38,049 --> 00:04:39,053
Ah.
100
00:04:39,088 --> 00:04:40,793
Well, the history's fascinating,
101
00:04:40,895 --> 00:04:43,606
but whose breasts fill up the bags?
102
00:04:43,709 --> 00:04:44,846
I don't know.
103
00:04:44,948 --> 00:04:47,123
There is a communal
changing tent at the fair.
104
00:04:47,226 --> 00:04:48,965
I... I must have
grabbed the wrong things.
105
00:04:49,068 --> 00:04:51,980
Yeah, that's what I'm worried about.
106
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,395
Are you suggesting that
I'm cheating on you?
107
00:04:55,498 --> 00:04:57,605
You're... you're being ridiculous.
108
00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:59,514
I'm only asking for the truth.
109
00:04:59,617 --> 00:05:00,922
I gave you the truth,
110
00:05:01,024 --> 00:05:04,102
but if you keep accusing me
of being unfaithful to you,
111
00:05:04,206 --> 00:05:06,112
I'm gonna go ahead and do it.
112
00:05:06,215 --> 00:05:09,126
I... I might as well, if I'm
gonna get blamed for it anyway.
113
00:05:09,230 --> 00:05:10,298
All right, sorry.
114
00:05:10,401 --> 00:05:12,844
Just give whosever
breastbags these are back,
115
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,825
- and I won't mention it again.
- Okay.
116
00:05:15,927 --> 00:05:18,872
Okay, I... I'll put them
in the lost and found.
117
00:05:18,942 --> 00:05:22,322
Yesterday, somebody misplaced
a small bag of dove's droppings,
118
00:05:22,391 --> 00:05:24,733
- which were used to lighten one's hair.
- Oh.
119
00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:27,848
And somebody else was looking
for their homemade toothpaste.
120
00:05:27,917 --> 00:05:30,225
It was an unfortunate coincidence.
121
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:31,565
Mm.
122
00:05:31,668 --> 00:05:35,082
123
00:05:35,151 --> 00:05:37,628
- Snowblower broken again?
- Yep.
124
00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:38,833
These sudden winter storms
125
00:05:38,936 --> 00:05:41,111
catch all kinds of things by surprise.
126
00:05:41,213 --> 00:05:43,589
So, basically, it's been
a frozen gopher shooter.
127
00:05:45,969 --> 00:05:46,973
Poof!
128
00:05:47,041 --> 00:05:48,914
Waah!
129
00:05:48,983 --> 00:05:52,028
[CHUCKLES] Good fun.
130
00:05:52,131 --> 00:05:54,172
Uh, well...
131
00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,713
I got something to tell you.
132
00:05:55,815 --> 00:05:57,789
[INHALES DEEPLY] Yes?
133
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,741
Ben asked me and the
kids to move to Chicago.
134
00:06:01,844 --> 00:06:04,453
He got an offer to relocate
the paper to a bigger market.
135
00:06:04,556 --> 00:06:06,430
Wow. Big step.
136
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:07,736
What'd you say?
137
00:06:07,805 --> 00:06:09,209
Well, I didn't say anything yet.
138
00:06:09,278 --> 00:06:10,784
I wanted to talk to you first.
139
00:06:10,886 --> 00:06:12,927
Well, you have my blessing.
140
00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:16,645
I personally think Lanford's on
the cusp of a renaissance, but...
141
00:06:17,885 --> 00:06:20,596
... if you want to go, it's your call.
142
00:06:20,666 --> 00:06:23,108
Mm. You sure you're okay with it?
143
00:06:23,211 --> 00:06:24,347
Yeah.
144
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,294
I enjoy my privacy, and
you're only an hour away.
145
00:06:27,396 --> 00:06:28,802
All right, pop quiz.
146
00:06:28,904 --> 00:06:30,923
You forget to take your
blood-pressure meds in the morning.
147
00:06:30,947 --> 00:06:31,950
What do you do?
148
00:06:32,052 --> 00:06:34,294
I grab me a handful
of whatever's closest
149
00:06:34,396 --> 00:06:36,705
and wash it down with a beer.
150
00:06:36,807 --> 00:06:38,916
But no pork rinds. Too much salt, right?
151
00:06:40,592 --> 00:06:43,169
All right, you pass. I'm out of here.
152
00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:44,642
Good.
153
00:06:44,745 --> 00:06:45,893
I'm gonna need a break anyway
154
00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:48,461
before Becky moves in with the baby.
155
00:06:48,563 --> 00:06:49,819
You know that's coming.
156
00:06:51,791 --> 00:06:53,624
157
00:06:53,728 --> 00:06:55,866
[DOOR CLOSES]
158
00:06:59,289 --> 00:07:01,393
I got to rest a minute.
159
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,440
This kid is only the
size of a blueberry.
160
00:07:03,544 --> 00:07:04,942
Why am I so tired?
161
00:07:05,012 --> 00:07:06,205
Here.
162
00:07:06,309 --> 00:07:08,526
You probably need some water.
163
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:10,573
Thanks.
164
00:07:10,678 --> 00:07:11,870
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
165
00:07:11,975 --> 00:07:15,011
This will be a good park
to bring our baby to.
166
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,592
It is like the one
where my papa taught me
167
00:07:16,616 --> 00:07:18,628
how to play soccer in Chihuahua.
168
00:07:19,654 --> 00:07:23,202
Aunt Jackie has done an amazing
job improving your English,
169
00:07:23,271 --> 00:07:25,317
but a Chihuahua is a dog.
170
00:07:27,401 --> 00:07:29,720
Chihuahua is where I grew up in Mexico.
171
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,802
We'll agree to disagree.
172
00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:38,491
I think it is time for you
to have something to eat.
173
00:07:38,562 --> 00:07:40,641
Aww. That's so thoughtful.
174
00:07:41,531 --> 00:07:44,839
It's, uh, tuna casserole
with potato chips on top.
175
00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,399
That's my favorite.
176
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,480
Yes. Your papa told me.
177
00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:52,621
He say it is part of
your white heritage.
178
00:07:58,117 --> 00:08:00,197
[SIGHS]
179
00:08:00,301 --> 00:08:02,620
This is delicious.
180
00:08:02,724 --> 00:08:03,985
Mm.
181
00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:11,426
Listen.
182
00:08:11,495 --> 00:08:14,395
I'm sorry it took me so
long to give you a chance.
183
00:08:14,464 --> 00:08:17,261
You're a good guy, Emilio.
184
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,401
And I'm a good person, too. I just...
185
00:08:20,472 --> 00:08:23,746
never imagined my life
would be like this...
186
00:08:23,816 --> 00:08:26,237
sitting and eating in the park
with the father of my child,
187
00:08:26,342 --> 00:08:29,104
who I barely know.
188
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,811
That is funny,
189
00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:35,008
because this is what I
dreamed my life would be like...
190
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,681
sitting in a park,
191
00:08:36,751 --> 00:08:40,298
getting to know a strong
and beautiful woman like you
192
00:08:40,369 --> 00:08:42,415
who's about to have my baby.
193
00:08:43,474 --> 00:08:45,895
That is so sweet.
194
00:08:45,966 --> 00:08:47,705
It is the truth.
195
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,844
Hey.
196
00:09:00,914 --> 00:09:03,608
Is that my laundry on the
floor out in the hallway?
197
00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,111
Yeah. I threw it there.
198
00:09:05,215 --> 00:09:08,762
- Have you been drinking?
- Uh, I'll ask the questions.
199
00:09:08,832 --> 00:09:10,844
Explain this.
200
00:09:10,914 --> 00:09:12,891
[PAPER RUSTLING]
201
00:09:12,996 --> 00:09:15,656
This is my phone bill.
Why do you have it?
202
00:09:15,727 --> 00:09:18,830
Uh, because if you're
gonna cheat on somebody,
203
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,389
you should be smart enough to
pay your own damn phone bill
204
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:23,983
so you're the only person
that has access to it,
205
00:09:24,054 --> 00:09:28,318
because the number that comes up
most on that bill is Breastbags.
206
00:09:28,422 --> 00:09:29,683
[SIGHS]
207
00:09:29,788 --> 00:09:31,833
Breastbags has a PhD
208
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:35,007
in 16th century music and costuming.
209
00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:37,533
I call her frequently to be
sure I'm dressed correctly
210
00:09:37,603 --> 00:09:39,922
and humming the right madrigal.
211
00:09:40,026 --> 00:09:41,253
Really?
212
00:09:41,357 --> 00:09:43,607
Because when I talked to her,
213
00:09:43,678 --> 00:09:45,894
I asked her about the
shirt, and she said,
214
00:09:45,999 --> 00:09:49,034
"Oh, my boyfriend must have
accidentally grabbed it."
215
00:09:49,139 --> 00:09:50,672
You son of a bitch.
216
00:09:50,776 --> 00:09:51,969
Oh, Jackie.
217
00:09:52,073 --> 00:09:53,983
Oh, Jackie, this is unnecessary.
218
00:09:54,053 --> 00:09:55,314
It doesn't mean anything.
219
00:09:55,418 --> 00:09:57,328
It doesn't mean anything?
220
00:09:57,432 --> 00:10:00,671
Yes. Yes, I'm with you and not her.
221
00:10:00,742 --> 00:10:03,812
A... a stupid affair doesn't
mean I love you any less.
222
00:10:03,882 --> 00:10:05,279
Don't throw what we have away
223
00:10:05,384 --> 00:10:07,873
by being so narrow-minded
and provincial.
224
00:10:07,978 --> 00:10:10,467
Don't play your mind games with me.
225
00:10:10,572 --> 00:10:12,003
This isn't my fault.
226
00:10:12,107 --> 00:10:13,504
Isn't it, Jackie?
227
00:10:15,929 --> 00:10:19,136
Don't let your insecurity
drive away another man.
228
00:10:19,206 --> 00:10:21,081
[INHALES DEEPLY] Oh, my God.
229
00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:23,334
Dan told me you were
taking advantage of me,
230
00:10:23,438 --> 00:10:25,381
and I didn't listen 'cause I was weak.
231
00:10:25,486 --> 00:10:30,296
- You're not weak.
- Uh, yo... well, not anymore I'm not.
232
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,275
Oh, ow! Ow! Ow!
233
00:10:32,346 --> 00:10:33,652
- Th... that hurt. That hurt!
- Good!
234
00:10:33,677 --> 00:10:35,188
Well, then that means
I'm doing it right.
235
00:10:35,213 --> 00:10:36,610
Oh, this is beneath you, Jackie.
236
00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:38,179
Beneath me. You're beneath me.
237
00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:39,749
- I trusted you!
- I'm...
238
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:42,719
- That really hurt.
- Get the hell out!
239
00:10:42,823 --> 00:10:43,982
God.
240
00:10:44,086 --> 00:10:45,142
Aah!
241
00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:47,292
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
242
00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:52,002
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
243
00:10:53,893 --> 00:10:58,020
Okay, so, nothing is
written in stone yet,
244
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:02,389
but Ben asked us to move
in with him in Chicago.
245
00:11:02,493 --> 00:11:04,164
What? That's crazy!
246
00:11:04,268 --> 00:11:05,767
Oh, my God!
247
00:11:05,872 --> 00:11:07,748
I love you!
248
00:11:07,852 --> 00:11:09,078
I'm gonna go pack now.
249
00:11:09,149 --> 00:11:11,775
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
I didn't even say yes yet.
250
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,754
Here. Use my phone.
251
00:11:13,858 --> 00:11:15,665
Oh, you're letting
me look at your phone?
252
00:11:15,735 --> 00:11:18,156
I don't like the way you said that.
253
00:11:19,524 --> 00:11:22,047
But if we go back to Chicago,
how are we gonna see our dad?
254
00:11:22,151 --> 00:11:25,323
Oh, well, we'll come visit,
and he can come there.
255
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:26,757
What about Grandpa?
256
00:11:26,828 --> 00:11:28,156
He can come see us, too,
257
00:11:28,227 --> 00:11:30,716
and he'll still have
Aunt Jackie and Becky.
258
00:11:30,786 --> 00:11:32,878
Plus, we're leaving the chickens
here to keep him company,
259
00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:34,095
which amuses me to no end.
260
00:11:34,199 --> 00:11:35,972
[DOORBELL RINGS]
261
00:11:36,076 --> 00:11:38,224
Did you call a moving company already?
262
00:11:45,223 --> 00:11:47,234
- Hey. [CHUCKLES]
- Hi.
263
00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:48,907
You surprising the kids?
264
00:11:48,977 --> 00:11:51,057
Probably, but I'm gonna
surprise you first.
265
00:11:51,161 --> 00:11:52,285
I broke up with Blue.
266
00:11:52,390 --> 00:11:54,265
What?
267
00:11:54,369 --> 00:11:55,459
Why?
268
00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:58,019
She wanted kids, and
I just couldn't do it.
269
00:11:58,089 --> 00:11:59,999
Yeah, well, that's a
good call on your part.
270
00:12:00,069 --> 00:12:02,524
Little Moonshine and Epiphany
would have respiratory problems
271
00:12:02,628 --> 00:12:04,709
from all that sage.
272
00:12:04,778 --> 00:12:07,712
She wanted the whole works...
273
00:12:07,782 --> 00:12:09,930
um, marriage, everything.
274
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,480
When you and I did it, I
knew that I wanted it, but...
275
00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:15,323
she's not you.
276
00:12:17,748 --> 00:12:19,110
Don't... don't do this.
277
00:12:19,215 --> 00:12:21,022
You know I'm in a relationship.
278
00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:24,265
I was in one just half an hour ago.
279
00:12:25,597 --> 00:12:27,268
There's a couple of things you can say
280
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,998
to end it right away.
281
00:12:30,068 --> 00:12:33,069
One is "flaky." That'll get a
toaster in the air real quick.
282
00:12:34,095 --> 00:12:36,636
D... David, do you think
you can just come in here
283
00:12:36,637 --> 00:12:38,496
and I'm gonna drop
everything?! Are you high?
284
00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:41,124
A little.
285
00:12:42,764 --> 00:12:44,776
Yes, I'm hoping you will.
286
00:12:46,484 --> 00:12:49,622
Okay, come on. [STAMMERS]
287
00:12:49,726 --> 00:12:51,636
I did everything I
said I was going to do.
288
00:12:51,740 --> 00:12:54,264
I got a steady job. I'm
in my kids' lives now.
289
00:12:54,368 --> 00:12:56,004
There's no reason...
290
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,881
no reason we should not be together.
291
00:12:57,952 --> 00:12:59,998
[CHUCKLES] I... I can think of one.
292
00:13:00,102 --> 00:13:02,796
Ben just asked me and the kids
to move to Chicago with him.
293
00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:06,516
Okay, tell him no.
294
00:13:07,542 --> 00:13:08,871
Wow.
295
00:13:08,941 --> 00:13:11,909
Are you really gonna bail on me
to move in with some stranger?
296
00:13:12,013 --> 00:13:13,683
You mean like you did with Blue?
297
00:13:13,788 --> 00:13:14,877
Hey.
298
00:13:14,982 --> 00:13:16,789
You said we were done.
299
00:13:16,859 --> 00:13:18,699
That's the only reason
I moved in with her.
300
00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:19,963
And, by the way,
301
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:23,000
I have a ridiculous tattoo
now that's kind of your fault.
302
00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:27,334
It's too late, all right?
303
00:13:27,405 --> 00:13:29,144
Now, the kids are gonna be an hour away,
304
00:13:29,248 --> 00:13:30,338
and I'll just make sure
305
00:13:30,408 --> 00:13:31,953
that you can see them
on a regular basis.
306
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,706
No, hey, I love you.
307
00:13:34,811 --> 00:13:37,164
And you said you would love me forever.
308
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,214
You're going to change
your mind about this.
309
00:13:42,319 --> 00:13:44,399
It's way better to do
it now than two months
310
00:13:44,504 --> 00:13:46,447
after you've moved the kids to Chicago.
311
00:13:47,711 --> 00:13:49,859
Grab your coat. Jackie's in trouble.
312
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,034
The kids are in the kitchen.
313
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:55,327
Show them that you got a tattoo
314
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:57,056
so they know it's not cool anymore.
315
00:13:57,162 --> 00:13:59,418
[DOOR CLOSES]
316
00:14:04,339 --> 00:14:06,003
Jackie's wasted.
317
00:14:06,075 --> 00:14:08,161
The owner remembered her from
this being the old Lunch Box,
318
00:14:08,185 --> 00:14:09,545
so she's being cool,
319
00:14:09,614 --> 00:14:11,723
but get her out of here,
or I got to take her in.
320
00:14:11,827 --> 00:14:13,016
Thanks, Rog.
321
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,343
I think we got this.
322
00:14:14,447 --> 00:14:15,909
Oh!
323
00:14:16,013 --> 00:14:18,631
[LAUGHS] It's my family!
324
00:14:18,701 --> 00:14:20,741
- You here to eat?
- Sure.
325
00:14:20,845 --> 00:14:22,579
Okay, well,
326
00:14:22,683 --> 00:14:26,357
I got to warn you, we
only serve Chinese food.
327
00:14:26,461 --> 00:14:29,385
- Got it.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
328
00:14:29,456 --> 00:14:32,619
So, uh, you shouldn't be
drinking on the job, right?
329
00:14:32,723 --> 00:14:34,253
No, I should be.
330
00:14:34,322 --> 00:14:35,715
China... other side of the Earth.
331
00:14:35,821 --> 00:14:37,112
It's all opposite.
332
00:14:37,181 --> 00:14:38,847
Okay.
333
00:14:38,951 --> 00:14:40,787
So, what do you recommend?
334
00:14:40,857 --> 00:14:43,442
Oh, not giving your heart away.
335
00:14:43,546 --> 00:14:45,449
Peter was cheating on me.
336
00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:46,777
Oh, I'm so sorry.
337
00:14:46,881 --> 00:14:49,635
No. Don't worry. I took care of it,
338
00:14:49,705 --> 00:14:53,515
'cause I explained to him he
was not treating me very well,
339
00:14:53,585 --> 00:14:57,327
and then I whipped the bejeezus
out of him with a towel.
340
00:14:57,431 --> 00:14:58,722
What?!
341
00:14:58,826 --> 00:15:02,296
[DAN AND JACKIE LAUGH]
342
00:15:02,366 --> 00:15:04,077
Hey, how about sitting
down with us for a minute?
343
00:15:04,101 --> 00:15:06,006
Yes, I can take my break now
344
00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:07,911
because I don't really work here.
345
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:11,723
I used to, though,
346
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:13,118
me and my sister.
347
00:15:13,188 --> 00:15:14,729
[VOICE BREAKING] We owned the place.
348
00:15:14,754 --> 00:15:17,237
We called it the Lunch Box.
349
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:20,912
And it was the last place I was happy.
350
00:15:21,969 --> 00:15:24,758
[NORMAL VOICE] Your
dad... do you know Dan?
351
00:15:24,862 --> 00:15:27,582
Your dad, he was right about Peter,
352
00:15:27,653 --> 00:15:29,285
and I didn't listen.
353
00:15:29,354 --> 00:15:32,075
Okay. I got to get these
people their fortune cookies,
354
00:15:32,179 --> 00:15:34,797
'cause it's Chinese food... you know.
355
00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:36,124
All right.
356
00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:39,052
It's so nice of you to
dine with us tonight.
357
00:15:39,156 --> 00:15:40,583
Let's see what you get.
358
00:15:40,687 --> 00:15:42,557
You get,
359
00:15:42,661 --> 00:15:46,811
"You will find happiness
and [LAUGHING] romance."
360
00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:48,172
[VOICE BREAKING] It's a lie.
361
00:15:48,276 --> 00:15:50,044
It's a lie.
362
00:15:50,081 --> 00:15:53,142
'Cause it's supposed to say
that your sister's gonna die
363
00:15:53,211 --> 00:15:56,646
and that, uh, the guy that
you thought was gonna save you,
364
00:15:56,751 --> 00:15:58,893
he doesn't give a rat's ass about you.
365
00:15:58,997 --> 00:16:00,595
So that's your fortune!
366
00:16:00,699 --> 00:16:02,194
[BOTTLE SHATTERS]
367
00:16:02,298 --> 00:16:05,121
- Okay, time to go. I'll get her purse.
- Yep.
368
00:16:05,191 --> 00:16:07,095
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
369
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,580
This place is boring!
370
00:16:09,649 --> 00:16:11,803
Why don't you get in the car?
I'll take you to a better bar.
371
00:16:11,828 --> 00:16:13,153
No. Trick.
372
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:16,352
[LAUGHING] Trick! Trick! [SCREAMS]
373
00:16:16,456 --> 00:16:19,823
It's a trick! It's a... [LAUGHS]
374
00:16:23,501 --> 00:16:26,528
[SOBBING]
375
00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:32,348
It's gonna be okay.
376
00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:34,287
Let's leave these folks to their dinner.
377
00:16:34,392 --> 00:16:36,227
Okay.
378
00:16:36,332 --> 00:16:39,392
Oh, brother. You know, it's...
379
00:16:39,463 --> 00:16:41,740
it's not... [INHALES SHARPLY]
380
00:16:41,844 --> 00:16:44,838
It's not the Lunch Box anymore.
381
00:16:44,942 --> 00:16:46,845
[SIGHS, SOBS]
382
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:48,717
383
00:16:48,787 --> 00:16:50,964
Rough night, huh? How's Jackie?
384
00:16:51,033 --> 00:16:53,414
She's sleeping it off.
385
00:16:53,484 --> 00:16:56,273
Um, you know, you didn't
have to come over here.
386
00:16:56,377 --> 00:16:59,676
Well, you said you wanted
to talk about Chicago.
387
00:16:59,781 --> 00:17:03,488
Obviously anxious to
hear, so... what's up?
388
00:17:03,558 --> 00:17:07,878
Um, I definitely want
to move in with you,
389
00:17:07,949 --> 00:17:09,920
but I just can't leave
my dad alone right now.
390
00:17:10,024 --> 00:17:11,520
He's too vulnerable.
391
00:17:11,624 --> 00:17:13,052
Your dad?
392
00:17:15,198 --> 00:17:17,646
He looks like he could still
be swatting down airplanes
393
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:20,334
from the top of the
Empire State Building.
394
00:17:20,405 --> 00:17:21,900
I know.
395
00:17:21,970 --> 00:17:24,248
I... it just wouldn't be
fair to move to Chicago
396
00:17:24,318 --> 00:17:27,754
and then a couple months later
realize that I should be here...
397
00:17:27,824 --> 00:17:29,115
you know, for my dad.
398
00:17:29,219 --> 00:17:33,029
So, uh, is this like...
399
00:17:33,099 --> 00:17:35,308
and I don't mean to be morbid, but...
400
00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:38,542
until he dies, or... ?
401
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,311
Could this change?
402
00:17:40,382 --> 00:17:42,660
Oh, no, I mean, it
could definitely change.
403
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:44,804
I just need time, um, you know,
404
00:17:44,874 --> 00:17:47,323
just to get him used to the idea.
405
00:17:47,393 --> 00:17:49,637
And in the meantime,
I'll... I'll commute.
406
00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:51,236
Yeah.
407
00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:52,904
Yeah, that'll... that'll work.
408
00:17:52,974 --> 00:17:55,626
So, are we still on for tonight?
409
00:17:55,697 --> 00:17:57,022
Yes, of course.
410
00:17:57,092 --> 00:17:59,404
- Oh, my God. Why wouldn't we be?
- Okay, all right.
411
00:17:59,475 --> 00:18:00,948
- Well, then, I'll see you later.
- All right.
412
00:18:00,972 --> 00:18:02,944
- I... I love you.
- And I love you.
413
00:18:08,017 --> 00:18:10,941
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
414
00:18:11,012 --> 00:18:13,732
Oh, Aunt Jackie, I
didn't know you were up.
415
00:18:13,836 --> 00:18:15,298
- You must feel like hell.
- [GROANS]
416
00:18:15,402 --> 00:18:16,965
Well, like I've been through hell.
417
00:18:17,069 --> 00:18:18,668
That's for sure.
418
00:18:18,737 --> 00:18:21,084
I've been throwing up kind
of regular this morning.
419
00:18:21,153 --> 00:18:24,759
Was I at some Chinese place last night?
420
00:18:24,829 --> 00:18:27,788
'Cause I've got, like, rice everywhere.
421
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:34,697
You know, I... I just want to say this.
422
00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:37,963
No matter how horrible
things seem right now,
423
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,687
you just never know what's
gonna happen tomorrow.
424
00:18:40,756 --> 00:18:45,008
So bad things turn to good,
good things turn to great,
425
00:18:45,079 --> 00:18:49,025
great things turn to, uh,
confusing, possibly great,
426
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,828
but also possibly bad.
427
00:18:50,899 --> 00:18:53,074
But if you're lucky,
they could be good things.
428
00:18:53,178 --> 00:18:56,546
I think you went past your point.
429
00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:59,269
Um, I'm okay. Everything's
just coming out.
430
00:18:59,373 --> 00:19:03,523
You know, all the... the...
the toxic mess of my life
431
00:19:03,593 --> 00:19:07,062
that's just been boiling up
ever since your mom passed.
432
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,479
But I just got to work real hard
433
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:13,222
on why I always look
outside myself for happiness.
434
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,230
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
435
00:19:15,334 --> 00:19:17,510
[LAUGHING] Oh, my God.
436
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,824
I got a life-coach client in 20 minutes,
437
00:19:19,895 --> 00:19:22,173
and I've got puke in my hair.
438
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:24,079
And I got no time to take a shower.
439
00:19:24,183 --> 00:19:26,563
- Can I borrow a brush?
- Um...
440
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,707
Hey, Becky, you got
a brush in your purse?
441
00:19:28,778 --> 00:19:30,171
Aunt Jackie needs one.
442
00:19:30,241 --> 00:19:33,132
- Sure.
- Great.
443
00:19:33,236 --> 00:19:35,548
Thanks. I'll get it right back to ya.
444
00:19:36,911 --> 00:19:39,054
Whatcha doing?
445
00:19:39,158 --> 00:19:41,300
Now that I'm getting a
few bucks from Emilio,
446
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:43,648
I'm replacing all the stuff I took.
447
00:19:43,752 --> 00:19:45,928
Uh, okay, you took Oreos.
448
00:19:45,998 --> 00:19:48,651
Choco-Sandwich Discs are not the same.
449
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:54,198
- Becky, has Emilio called you?
- No.
450
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:57,567
I got a message from a
number I don't recognize.
451
00:19:57,671 --> 00:19:58,861
Check it.
452
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,936
I heard there was a
big ICE raid downtown,
453
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,876
and they hit the restaurants.
454
00:20:02,947 --> 00:20:05,667
Oh, my... this is ridiculous.
455
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,220
These people are just
trying to have a better life.
456
00:20:08,324 --> 00:20:10,227
[SIGHS] He was here illegally, Darlene.
457
00:20:10,332 --> 00:20:12,452
Oh, so you don't have a
problem with what's happening?
458
00:20:12,476 --> 00:20:13,903
I have a big problem.
459
00:20:14,007 --> 00:20:16,422
I like the guy, my daughter's
about to have his baby,
460
00:20:16,526 --> 00:20:18,408
and he may be getting
dragged out of the country.
461
00:20:18,432 --> 00:20:19,519
You think I want that?
462
00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:23,229
Damn it.
463
00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:24,794
It's Emilio, right?
464
00:20:24,898 --> 00:20:27,313
- [SNIFFLES]
- [CELLPHONE CLICKS]
465
00:20:27,417 --> 00:20:29,389
EMILIO: ... taking me to Texas
466
00:20:29,493 --> 00:20:32,587
and then turning me over
to authorities in Ju?rez.
467
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:35,515
I will find a way back
to you and our baby
468
00:20:35,619 --> 00:20:39,293
after a short time in Chihuahua...
469
00:20:39,397 --> 00:20:41,368
the city, not the dog.
470
00:20:41,472 --> 00:20:44,431
[LAUGHS, SNIFFLES]
471
00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:49,828
So, I just came from
the principal's office,
472
00:20:49,932 --> 00:20:51,801
and I've got bad news.
473
00:20:51,906 --> 00:20:53,299
You're all wrong about me!
474
00:20:53,403 --> 00:20:56,497
I'm getting my article published in
the Sunday Chicago Sun-Times!
475
00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:58,233
- That's fantastic!
- Yeah, Harris!
476
00:20:58,337 --> 00:20:59,969
Congratulations!
477
00:21:00,073 --> 00:21:01,807
Now you have to tell us what it's about.
478
00:21:01,911 --> 00:21:03,180
[CHUCKLES] Okay, it's an article
479
00:21:03,205 --> 00:21:05,312
about how terrible life in Lanford is,
480
00:21:05,416 --> 00:21:08,035
that it's a decaying old town
full of losers and burnouts,
481
00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:10,077
and if you live here, it's only
482
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:12,970
a matter of time until you
become a drunk or a drug addict.
483
00:21:13,074 --> 00:21:15,284
Thank God we're moving to Chicago,
484
00:21:15,388 --> 00:21:17,530
because I have burned
some bridges to the ground.
485
00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:21,614
This is my big, "So long,
and screw you, Lanford!"
486
00:21:22,773 --> 00:21:23,895
We have to talk.
487
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,613
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488
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