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1
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:05,918
[chuckles]To an awesome night
at Cooper's concert.
2
00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,311
[whoops]
Yay. Cheers.[whoops]
3
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,573
Mm.
4
00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:10,445
[sighs]
5
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:17,278
Oh, that takes me back.
6
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:19,671
To what?
7
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:23,066
Uh, our last HOA meeting.
8
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,677
Oh, I can already tell I'm
gonna get into a fight tonight.
9
00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:27,331
[chuckles]
10
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,768
Ooh, I'm so excited.
11
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:31,248
We get full VIP treatment,
12
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,337
which means free drinks.[chuckles]: Yeah.
13
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:35,122
[whoops]And-- Oh, my God.
14
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:36,558
How is it already 8:40?
15
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:37,820
8:40?
16
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:40,997
That's practically 9:15!
17
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,346
Crazy.No. No.
18
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:43,695
[yawning]
19
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,480
Not tonight.
20
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,090
We won't let you do that thing
where you get tired
21
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,918
and talk yourselves out
of going out.
22
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:51,268
You're right, you're right.
I'm sorry.
23
00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,096
Okay. Full VIP treatment.
24
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,880
Backstage. Sold-out concert.Yeah.
Yep!
25
00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:56,534
[whooping]Yeah, it sounds great!
26
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,275
Yeah.[chuckles]
[chuckles]
27
00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,495
But I did just get
a new pillow.Mm-hmm.
28
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:03,367
And we're going grocery
shopping tomorrow, you know?
29
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:07,110
With all the driving
and the parking
30
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,155
and then you forget
to validate
31
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,678
and then you got
to go back inside.
32
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:10,766
And they're all like,
33
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,420
"Validation's for
customers only."
34
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,770
And you're like, "I was
just in here, Janine!"
35
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,424
CLAIRE:
Yeah, plus,
36
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:17,816
we got to be fresh tomorrow,
37
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,123
'cause we're meeting
with a life insurance agent.
38
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,385
[laughs]
39
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,387
Why do you guys need
life insurance?
40
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,781
You're zero risk.
41
00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:28,697
Well, actually,
42
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:31,003
we have been talking
about...
43
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:33,658
starting a family soon.
44
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,879
JAKE:
Uh...
45
00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:38,315
you're not excited?
46
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:41,013
We're just tired
of getting our hopes up.
47
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,667
You two have been dangling
that carrot
48
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:43,929
in front of us for so long
49
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:47,019
we've got baby blue balls.
50
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,287
No, I-I mean, we'd
love to have kids.
51
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,072
It's just, you know, it's been
really crazy at work, you know?
52
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,292
Um, but after tax season,
it's gonna be, uh,
53
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:01,121
"tax that ass" season.
[chuckles]
54
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,908
Well, trust us, it's good
to get your party days in
55
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,257
before you have kids.
56
00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:10,608
Or someday you will find
yourself retired early
57
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:13,263
and sneaking so much rosé
into your cornflakes
58
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,178
you end up hitting
on the mailman.
59
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,790
All I said is Jeff
has nice calves.
60
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:21,358
What, now I
can't say facts?
61
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,577
I don't want
to fight about it.
62
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,100
Hey, guys.
63
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,623
Who's ready to party?
64
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,103
[whoops][whoops]
All right.
65
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,105
Um...Eh...
66
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:31,977
[both suck in air through teeth]
67
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,284
So... yeah.
[yawns]
68
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,286
Is it okay if we take
a rain check?
69
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,245
COOPER: Oh, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
70
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,203
I'll hit you up the next time
I've sold out the Forum three nights in a row
71
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,597
and convinced Post Malone
to open for me.
72
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,034
Great, man. Sounds
good. [chuckles]
73
00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:50,039
[yawns] Any idea
what a Post Malone is?
74
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:51,214
Uh...
75
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:57,089
I think it's what you do
when you're finished Maloning.
76
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:01,442
♪ Imagine me and you, I do
77
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:04,314
♪ I think about you
day and night ♪
78
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,229
♪ It's only right
79
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:09,841
♪ So happy together...
80
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,147
[vocalizing]
81
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:23,986
[sighs]
Wow.
82
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:29,948
All that sleep we got
was amaz-z-z-zing. Yeah.
83
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:32,342
I added a few extra Zs
'cause I caught so many.
84
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,691
[chuckles]:
Oh.
85
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,127
I know. I tried
to wake you up,
86
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:37,956
and you flipped me off
in your sleep.
87
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,089
Oh, my God.
[groans]
88
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,834
Wow.
89
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:49,533
I guess Cooper's after-party
must've been cray.
90
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:52,275
Do people still say "cray"?
91
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:55,844
I think only when they're
describing "how a bitch be,"
92
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:57,411
but...
93
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,458
All right, baby.
94
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,286
Let's take out the trash.
95
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,288
Okay. Yeah, I'll try
to wake 'em up.
96
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:06,898
Um...
97
00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:08,465
Okay. Mommy. Dad.
98
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,511
[groaning]
99
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:13,731
Can I talk to 'em?
100
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,345
[high-pitched]:
'Scuse me, uh,
101
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:19,955
Bonnie,
102
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,349
Gerald.
103
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:24,481
Can you, uh...
104
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:26,527
[air horn blows loudly]
105
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,576
All right, folks,
106
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:35,797
time to get up and
get goin', please.
107
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,234
Your house is way
more comfortable,
108
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,105
and it's also...
[chuckles]
109
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:41,237
...a lot quieter.
110
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,283
[air horn blows]
111
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:48,505
Soo!
112
00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:49,680
Okay.
113
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,334
All cards on the table--
114
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,944
either I dreamt
about peeing on your couch
115
00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,294
or I peed on your couch.
116
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:01,301
[hissing]
117
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:07,307
[door closes]
118
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,003
Oh, hey, buddy.
119
00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:09,047
How was the concert?
120
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,788
Well, I thought
it went well, but...
121
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,703
according to this L.A. Times
review,
122
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:15,053
"the venue was full,
but the songs were empty."
123
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,794
And then he gave it
124
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:20,232
four out of five poop emojis.
125
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:23,061
Why do you care
what this reviewer says?
126
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:26,369
Because.... 'cause
I kind of agree with him.
127
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,415
You know,
I'm 40 days into my tour,
128
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:29,981
and I feel like I just sing
129
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,332
the same shallow songs
over and over again.
130
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,376
Dude, you're 21.
131
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,638
What are you gonna sing about,
132
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,423
opening a Roth IRA?
[chuckles]
133
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:39,991
Why don't you try writing a song
that's more meaningful to you?
134
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,036
Well, I have.
135
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:42,516
Most of my songs
start out sincere.
136
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,344
But then I'd get scared
that my fans won't like them,
137
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,346
so I increase the tempo,
add a beat,
138
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,522
and then change the word "heart"
to "butt."
139
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,306
Huh.
140
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,439
That does explain...
141
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,876
♪ Girl, relax your butt,
let my lovin' flow ♪
142
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:58,401
♪ Entwine your butt with mine,
let the lovin' grow. ♪
143
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,407
Claire, I-I knew you could sing,
144
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,322
but you have
a really amazing voice.
145
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,455
Oh, come on. I mean,
I don't know if that's...
146
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,457
♪ True...
147
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,241
♪ Yeah.
148
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,851
Claire, I'm serious.
149
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,113
Well, uh, you know,
150
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,506
if you want to sing
a more personal song,
151
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:17,594
why don't you test it out
at your next concert?
152
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,422
Because fans hate new music
at concerts.
153
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,424
Have you ever been booed
by thousands of people?
154
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,556
Yes.
155
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,212
At Dodger Stadium,
156
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:29,040
when I snagged a foul ball
from a small man
157
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,086
who turned out to be a kid.
158
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:35,133
In a wheelchair.
159
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:39,573
Well, why don't you try doing
a smaller, more intimate show?
160
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:40,704
What, alone?
161
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,880
No-no backup dancers?
No pyrotechnics?
162
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:46,449
Guys, I'll feel naked
without my laser tuxedo.
163
00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:47,885
I mean, you could
make it a duet,
164
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:49,800
and then you'll have
someone up there with you.
165
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,150
That's actually a great idea.
166
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,239
I can't wait to start changing
my lyrics back
167
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,676
from "butt" to "heart."
168
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,548
Oh!
169
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:01,377
Your latest single was supposed
to be "Eat Your HeartOut."
170
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,689
Gosh, I can't believe how
healthy and safe you guys are.
171
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:09,820
You're on track for the lowest
172
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:10,995
life insurance rate
I've ever seen.
173
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,478
So, just
a few more questions.
174
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:17,480
Do you have any pre-existing
medical conditions?
175
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:20,527
Well, I've been told I have
too big a heart. [chuckles]
176
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:23,225
Oh.
177
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:26,097
You suffer from
hypertrophic cardiomyopathy?
178
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,664
No.
179
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,623
No, I was just being cute.
180
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:30,624
[chuckles]
181
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,626
Now, do you have any kids?
182
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,454
[chuckles]
Not that I know of.
183
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,630
[chuckles]
Wait.
184
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,417
That only works for guys.
[chuckles]
185
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,288
Oh. Hey, guys.
186
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,942
Don't mind me.
I'm just grabbing a snack.
187
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,509
Which, in this
house, are all...
188
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:50,513
"low in sodium
and high in fiber."
189
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:51,819
How-- W--
190
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:54,343
Was that Cooper James?
191
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,519
Um, does he live here?
192
00:07:56,563 --> 00:08:00,828
Yeah, it's your, uh, standard
"millionaire pop star moves in
193
00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:02,177
"with his accountant
because he craves
194
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:04,701
a sense of normalcy"
situation.
195
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:08,575
But-but he could live anywhere.
[chuckles]
196
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,272
Why would he choose here?
197
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,274
Is--
You're, like--
198
00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,363
Well, how do I say this
politely?
199
00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:17,279
Immensely boring.
200
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,107
[chuckles]
Okay. Um...
201
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:21,370
We are not boring.Yeah.
202
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,590
I mean, if you really
knew how we were,
203
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:26,723
I mean, you'd be hitting us
with a higher rate. [laughs]
204
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,944
So you're committing
insurance fraud?
205
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:32,120
No, no, no, no, no, no.No, no.
206
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:35,558
All-- No, no. All the-- all
the answers we gave were true.
207
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:36,777
CLAIRE: Yeah.You know? It just--
But they don't paint
208
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,735
the full picture
of who we are.
209
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,171
Like, we're cool. Right?We're cool.
210
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,086
I mean, Claire, tell her one
of our awesome stories.
211
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,740
Hit her, man.Oh. Awesome. So,
212
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,090
yeah, there's, uh,
the one ti-- um...Right?
213
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,702
Get ready.
Oh! Oh.
214
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,661
There was that one time
215
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:54,534
that we almost committed
insurance fraud. [chuckles]
216
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:58,059
Look, I'm sorry
I called you boring.
217
00:08:58,102 --> 00:08:59,147
It's just that
218
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,801
Cooper James is Cooper James.
219
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,585
And, you know, you're...
220
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,413
See, I already forgot
your names.
221
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,329
No, but, seriously,
222
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:09,461
you two don't need
life insurance.
223
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,594
You need get-a-life insurance.
224
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,466
[laughing]
225
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:16,773
You know what, you might want to
look into fire insurance, too,
226
00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:18,645
after that sick burn.
[laughs]
227
00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,430
Oh, this is fun!
228
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:24,259
[groans] Man, I guess we
don't have to try so hard
229
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,261
at being boring,
'cause we just are.
230
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,176
Relax, Claire.
That's just the opinion
231
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,178
of someone who evaluates
the relative excitement
232
00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:33,355
of people's lives
for a living.
233
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:36,314
Jake, last night, we got
invited to a concert
234
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:38,055
by the biggest
pop star in music.
235
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:39,491
And, instead, we stayed home
236
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:42,538
and ranked the months
of the year.
237
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,453
Yeah, yeah,
I guess you're right.
238
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:47,456
I, uh, guess we have gotten
into a bad habit
239
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:49,327
of saying no to adventure.
240
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,546
Great news, guys.
241
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,069
I took your advice,
and, as of tonight,
242
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,723
I'm doing a small show
at the Troubadour.
243
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,420
Oh, that's awesome, man.Yeah.
244
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:57,292
Yeah, I'm doing a duet
with Laurel Tyson.
245
00:09:57,335 --> 00:10:00,295
What?
Huh?
246
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,079
The lead singer of Human Disco.
247
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:04,865
Uh...
Come again?
248
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,649
They had that hit song,
"Loser Police."
249
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,304
Uh...
Uh...
250
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:11,349
That they used
in that Nespresso commercial.
251
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:12,307
Oh!
Oh!
252
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,743
Yeah![laughs]
253
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,353
I love that song.That is such a good s--
254
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:17,355
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.So good. I would get it.
255
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,227
You know, as usual, you guys
are welcome to come.
256
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:23,274
But you probably have an excuse
as to why you can't.
257
00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:24,754
Nope. Not this time.No, I'm pretty sure
258
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:26,408
we can think
of something.No, I mean...
259
00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:28,279
I mean we should go.
260
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:29,280
We're gonna go.
Oh.
261
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:30,281
Right. We're gonna go.We're in!
262
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,761
Really?
Yeah. Yeah!
263
00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:33,371
Amazing. All right, well,
my driver will be here soon,
264
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:35,373
if you want
to come with me. Okay. Yay!
265
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:36,461
I guess we
should change.
266
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:37,941
No way.
You guys are amazing.
267
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,422
Oh. You mean clothes.
268
00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:44,861
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
269
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:49,649
♪
270
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,043
I've got to say, Jake,
you look pretty sexy
271
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,349
in Cooper's skinny jeans.
272
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,307
Yeah, Claire, too sexy.
273
00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,919
Feels like
I'm smuggling grapes.[laughs]
274
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,443
Hey, there she is.
275
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,575
Guys, this is
my duet partner, Laurel.
276
00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:05,665
So, are you excited to sing
with Cooper tonight?
277
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,057
His new song is so good.
278
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:09,277
JAKE:
Ah...
279
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,757
Do you have, like, a
whole bunch of signs
280
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,410
for different situations,
or just the one sign?
281
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,327
Oh.It's just the one sign, okay.
282
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,894
We're gonna go warm up.
You guys have fun.
283
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:19,026
Those VIP bracelets
284
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,897
give you access
to everything.
285
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:22,551
Ooh.[laughing]:
Oh...
286
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,294
Hello.
287
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,253
[giggles][imitates cocking, firing gun]
288
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:32,953
Oh...
289
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,302
Jake, this is, like,
one of those parties
290
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,695
where the prostitutes
are so fancy
291
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,871
you can't tell them apart
from just a regular skank.
292
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,046
[laughs]
293
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:40,743
Oh, God, this is so fun.
294
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,397
[yawning]: Yeah, this was
just such a great call
295
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,181
to come out tonight.
296
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,574
No, Jake. You lock it up.
297
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:46,749
Come on.
298
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,142
Cool people don't yawn.
299
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,361
They do awesome things,
like walk into a party
300
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,189
and say, "I'm bored."
301
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,408
You're right.
You're right.
302
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,410
Time to go huge.
Tonight we say good-bye
303
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:58,282
to the old Jake and Claire who
get excited over simple things.
304
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,284
Oh, jumbo shrimp.
305
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:01,982
Look at all
these jumbo shrimp.
306
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,374
Oh. Oh.
307
00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:05,202
Hey, man.
[chuckles]
308
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:06,943
Don't sleep
on that garlic shrimp.
309
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,771
You know what
I'm saying? Ha-ha!
310
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,165
I'm cool. Hey,
you guys want to hit
311
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,383
one of these?
312
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:13,907
Oh?
313
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,822
Oh, my God,
these are real live drugs.
314
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:19,173
What do we do? Drug
people hate it when you don't take their drugs.
315
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:22,524
Okay, obviously, there's
only one thing to do here.
316
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,047
Ah.Mm-hmm.
317
00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:26,136
Let me get one
of them things, man.
318
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,182
I don't care
if it's a weekday.
319
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,706
You know what I'm saying?
[chuckles]
320
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,795
See you
on the other side, girl.
321
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,449
[chuckles]
Mmm.
322
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,234
Okay, you can spit yours out.
323
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,583
What? I swallowed mine.
324
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,107
What? Why?
325
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:41,935
Because we said we were
gonna go huge tonight.
326
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,633
That doesn't include taking
random drugs from a stranger.
327
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:47,679
And we just shared
the "we'd fake it" look.
328
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:50,334
That wasn't a "fake it" look,
that was a "take it" look.
329
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:52,380
Okay, this is a "fake it" look.Right.
330
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:55,122
This is a "take it" look.
331
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,689
That's the exact same look.
332
00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:59,779
My God, Claire,
I'm gonna die.
333
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,432
[choking]:
It's already burning my throat.
334
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:03,086
Okay, okay,
you know what?
335
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:04,653
[hacking]Relax.
336
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,611
It's a small pill.
You're a big guy.
337
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:09,136
I'm sure that you can handle
whatever drug it is.
338
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,486
Oh. Did you not want that?
339
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,140
I guess they're
a little strong.
340
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,359
Wha... Who, me?
[chuckles]
341
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,144
I already took mine, girl.
342
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,146
This is his.[chuckles]
343
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,017
He's mine.
344
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,281
[chuckles]
345
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:26,327
Mmm.Okay, you can spit
that out now.
346
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,068
I swallowed
that one, too.Why?!
347
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,765
I panicked. Oh, my God,
Claire, what did I...
348
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,549
what did I take?
349
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:33,813
What if it's one of
those drugs where I end up eating someone's face?
350
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:36,206
Okay, you know what?
Just-just try to stay calm.
351
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,034
I'm gonna go ask
him what you took.
352
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:41,646
[coughing]:
It's probably bath salts.
353
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:45,041
Oh, no. I've become addicted
to my favorite way to relax.
354
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,347
[hacking]
355
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:52,919
Guys, I'll be
straight with you.
356
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:55,138
I took a narcotic
tablet, and, uh,
357
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,140
I'm dealing with the real-world
consequences right now.
358
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,273
[coughs]You, uh, seem fine.
359
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:02,145
And even if I'm not,
it's okay, it's okay.
360
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:05,888
Okay, Jake, I asked the
dude what drug he gave you.
361
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,716
What was it? Yayo? Smack?
362
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:10,545
Fleck? Nurp-nurp? Quam?
363
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:11,589
It was a mint.
364
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:12,590
A mint!
365
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:13,635
Oh, I've never even
heard of that!
366
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,071
[sobs]
367
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,681
Is this, like,
a Class A narcotic?
368
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,248
Yeah, "A" for Altoids.
369
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,555
"A" for...He gave you a mint
370
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:24,689
because your breath was so bad
from eating the garlic shrimp.
371
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:26,996
I see.
372
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,044
Ha! Yeah, man,
I knew that.
373
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:35,744
I assume the patient-paramedic
confidentiality agreement
374
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,311
will be honored?
375
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:38,921
Well, that's not a thing.
376
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,315
And I'm definitely telling
all my friends.
377
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,969
Okay.
378
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:48,496
Uh...
379
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:49,976
Sorry, you need a wristband.
380
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,934
Um, uh, the medic
just ripped mine off.
381
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,110
I was just in here,
man. It's me.
382
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,678
Come on, man, I know Coop.
383
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:59,028
That's my guy.
Like, we're best friends.
384
00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:00,769
He's gonna sleep
in my attic tonight.
385
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:02,727
I'm wearing his pants.
Come on, let me in.
386
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:05,382
We got a live one here.Oh...
387
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:08,385
Hi, guys. Will you watch
from the side stage?
388
00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,692
Knowing you're here will
help ease my nerves.
389
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,389
Yeah, of course we'll
be there, Cooper.
390
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:13,651
These guys are with me.
391
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:16,611
Yeah.
392
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:17,829
Uh-huh-huh.
393
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,702
Look who's in the VIP area.
394
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,486
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
395
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,359
"We got a live one here."
Shut your ass up, man.
396
00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,230
I'm up in your space!
397
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,234
[beatboxing]
398
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:38,589
Can I have my
microphone?
399
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,374
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
400
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:43,594
Warmed it up for you.
A little wet. Yeah.
401
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:44,987
Thank you.
402
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,641
Guys.
403
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,860
I'm nervous.
What if my fans hate it?
404
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:50,079
What if they love it?
405
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,559
You'll never know
if you don't try.
406
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,865
[sighs]
Thanks, guys.
407
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,084
[chuckles]
408
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,826
Hey.
409
00:15:57,869 --> 00:16:00,046
People said I was crazy
when I told them
410
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,309
I was moving in
with my accountant, but...
411
00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:04,485
it's the best decision
I've ever made.
412
00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:07,401
Except for when I was 12
and I posted a video
413
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:10,360
of me singing on YouTube
that got a billion views.
414
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,709
Yeah.
415
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,668
That was a good decision.[chuckles]
416
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:14,886
Well, the feeling's mutual.
417
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:16,845
[chuckling]Kill it, buddy.
418
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,673
AUDIENCE [chanting]:
Cooper! Cooper!
419
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,022
What's up, Los Angeles!?
420
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,937
[cheering]
421
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,766
[whoops]
422
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:26,898
[cheering, whistling]
423
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,726
All right,
tonight I'd like to try
424
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,206
something
a little bit different.
425
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,426
I'd actually like
to bring out a special guest.
426
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:35,037
[audience cheering][gasping breaths]
427
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,517
I...
428
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,735
I can't... breathe.
429
00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:39,520
Did someone...
have shellfish?
430
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,696
I did.
And it was breathtaking.
431
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,785
You must have gotten
it on... the mike.
432
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:45,439
I-I'm super allergic.
433
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,789
Well, why didn't you
put thaton a card?
434
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,706
Okay?
435
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:55,362
♪ I could never write
a love song ♪
436
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:59,757
♪ Till I met you...
437
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:04,110
Let me try that again.
438
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:06,634
♪ I could never write
a love song... ♪
439
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:09,245
Claire, you got
to get out there. Cooper needs you.
440
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:10,725
♪ Till I met you...
441
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,857
No, I couldn't.
It's crazy.
442
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,424
♪ And I couldn't
443
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:18,298
♪ Sing a love song
444
00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:21,562
[harmonizing]:
♪ Till I loved you
445
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,698
♪ Well, our hearts
are beatin' faster ♪
446
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,788
♪ 'Cause we found
something true ♪
447
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:34,749
♪ I have never loved someone
448
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:38,709
♪ The way that I love you
449
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,624
That's my wife.
450
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:43,497
Not anymore.
451
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,717
♪ I have never loved someone
452
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:50,721
♪ The way that I love you
453
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:55,161
♪ Well, our hearts
are beatin' faster ♪
454
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:58,164
♪ 'Cause we found
something true ♪
455
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:01,863
♪ I have never loved someone
456
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:05,910
♪ The way that I love you...
457
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,268
[groans]
Goodness.
458
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,531
Ah, there's
my sexy little rock star.
459
00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,968
[chuckles] Yeah,
last night was totally nuts.
460
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,491
Oh, yeah.
461
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,233
Woke up to a million texts
about you singing with Cooper.
462
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:28,194
One text from my bank asking me
if I spent $104 at Taco Bell.
463
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,978
[laughs]
464
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:33,286
Man, my head is killing me.
465
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,505
How are you not hungover?
466
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,160
'Cause I was
fake drinking all night.
467
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:41,120
Cool, coo...
Wait, what?
468
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,339
Okay, Jake, here goes.
[chuckles nervously]
469
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,863
So, one of the reasons
that I wanted us
470
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:49,780
to go out and have
a big night was, um...
471
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,956
I might have...
472
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,828
huge news.
473
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:56,352
Wait. What's that?
474
00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:59,138
Are we...
are we pregnant?
475
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,401
Okay, I-I'm not sure. Um,
but I've been feeling weird
476
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:03,142
and nauseous all week,
so I just, I went out
477
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,361
and I bought the test
and I just took it,
478
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,493
but I haven't checked
the results yet.
479
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,669
This is so exciting.
I just can't...
480
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:11,019
[nervous laughing]
481
00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:13,326
Okay, can you just please check,
because I'm freaking out.Oh, right, right, right, right.
482
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:14,327
Okay.
483
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:15,893
[exhales]
484
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,465
We're gonna have a baby.
485
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:25,773
We're having a baby.
486
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,209
We're gonna have a baby.
487
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,864
We're gonna have a baby![laughing]
488
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,174
Oh, my God!
489
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,741
Claire? What-what's going on?
I heard you guys screaming.
490
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:38,916
I'm pregnant.
491
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,223
What?! Oh, my God!
492
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,660
That's incredible.
493
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:45,271
Claire!
494
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:46,924
You're in the
newspaper again.
495
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:48,187
[Bonnie grunts]
496
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,753
This is amazing!
I can't believe
497
00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:51,190
our baby girl's a rock star!
498
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,930
Oh, okay, whoa,
okay, calm down.
499
00:19:52,974 --> 00:19:55,803
You're spilling your
breakfast margs.
500
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,108
You're all over the Internet.
501
00:19:57,152 --> 00:19:58,849
In Touch, Us Weekly,
502
00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:00,503
everywhere.Oh.
503
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,375
"Cooper James reunites
with mystery cougar
504
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,811
to sing beautiful duet."
505
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,378
Mm.
506
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,988
[chuckles]
507
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:09,904
Yeah, last night
was truly amazing.Well...
508
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:12,907
we actually have something
even cooler to share with you.
509
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,952
Oh, yeah.
510
00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:16,563
[gasps]
Oh, my God.
511
00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:18,869
Gerald! We did it!
512
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:21,002
We've been trying
for years!
513
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,875
Honey, I'm so happy.
We're gonna have a baby!
514
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,747
I know! I love you!
515
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,792
I'll drink to this.Oh.
516
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,841
No, honey. Our
drinking days are over.
517
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:36,235
We are gonna be
grandparents.
518
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,759
[laughing]
519
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,587
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
520
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,850
Do I have to move out
of the attic?
521
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,244
No. Cooper, the baby
will get the guest room.
522
00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,942
Yay!
523
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:49,857
Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
524
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,728
You guys have a guest room?
525
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:53,861
Get in here!
526
00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:57,038
♪ Baby, I
527
00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:59,954
♪ Love you.
528
00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,482
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
529
00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:08,528
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
530
00:21:08,578 --> 00:21:13,128
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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