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1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,216
On the other hand,
some physicists are concerned
2
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,310
that if this supercollider
actually works,
3
00:00:04,430 --> 00:00:06,523
it'll create a black hole
and swallow up the Earth,
4
00:00:06,643 --> 00:00:08,336
ending life as we know it.
5
00:00:08,456 --> 00:00:10,237
What a bunch of crybabies.
6
00:00:10,732 --> 00:00:12,432
No guts, no glory, man.
7
00:00:13,498 --> 00:00:14,863
Hey, check it out.
8
00:00:15,162 --> 00:00:18,143
The School of Pharmacology
is looking for volunteers.
9
00:00:18,263 --> 00:00:20,732
"We are testing a new medication
for social anxiety,
10
00:00:20,892 --> 00:00:24,776
"panic attacks, agoraphobia
and obsessive compulsive disorder."
11
00:00:26,545 --> 00:00:28,782
Why would they be looking
for test subjects here?
12
00:00:30,134 --> 00:00:31,461
I don't know, Raj.
13
00:00:31,581 --> 00:00:34,335
Maybe the comic book store
doesn't have a bulletin board.
14
00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:40,375
- What's going on?
- Hot girl in Sheldon's office.
15
00:00:41,538 --> 00:00:42,629
Sheldon's office?
16
00:00:44,889 --> 00:00:46,048
Is she lost?
17
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:48,365
I don't think so.
18
00:00:48,485 --> 00:00:50,595
I followed her here
from the parking lot.
19
00:00:52,590 --> 00:00:54,123
Maybe she's his lawyer.
20
00:00:54,431 --> 00:00:56,618
Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
21
00:00:57,310 --> 00:01:00,188
I know, I'm disgusting.
I should be punished... by her.
22
00:01:00,349 --> 00:01:01,727
Look, I did it again.
23
00:01:02,717 --> 00:01:03,932
That should do it.
24
00:01:04,052 --> 00:01:05,599
Thank you for coming by.
25
00:01:12,187 --> 00:01:13,085
Hello.
26
00:01:14,691 --> 00:01:16,056
Hey, buddy...
27
00:01:18,315 --> 00:01:19,679
"Buddy..."?
28
00:01:20,577 --> 00:01:23,336
Sorry I'm late.
I'm working on a project
29
00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:26,072
that may take me up
on the next space shuttle.
30
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:29,342
How can you be late?
I wasn't expecting you at all.
31
00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:32,929
Nobody ever expects me.
Sometimes you just look and...
32
00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:34,607
Bam! Howard Wolowitz.
33
00:01:36,801 --> 00:01:38,184
Are you gonna introduce us?
34
00:01:38,737 --> 00:01:40,353
All right. This is Missy.
35
00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:44,190
Missy, this is Leonard and Rajesh,
and you've already met Howard.
36
00:01:44,351 --> 00:01:47,176
- It's nice to meet you.
- You, too, as well, also.
37
00:01:50,046 --> 00:01:51,698
So, how do you two know each other?
38
00:01:52,543 --> 00:01:55,926
He once spent nine months
with my legs wrapped around his head.
39
00:01:59,437 --> 00:02:00,427
Excuse me?
40
00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:03,996
She's my twin sister.
She thinks she's funny,
41
00:02:04,116 --> 00:02:06,284
but frankly,
I've never been able to see it.
42
00:02:06,404 --> 00:02:09,090
That's because you have
no measurable sense of humor, Shelly.
43
00:02:09,417 --> 00:02:12,015
How exactly would one
measure a sense of humor?
44
00:02:12,342 --> 00:02:13,800
A humormometer?
45
00:02:16,841 --> 00:02:18,961
I think you're delightfully droll.
46
00:02:19,081 --> 00:02:21,559
Or, as the French say,
tr�s dr�le.
47
00:02:22,232 --> 00:02:23,730
So let me see if I got this.
48
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,733
Leonard, Howard and...
49
00:02:26,894 --> 00:02:28,935
I'm sorry, what was your name again?
50
00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:56,729
Rajesh.
51
00:02:58,168 --> 00:03:00,635
Episode 115:
The Shiksa Indeterminacy
52
00:03:01,302 --> 00:03:04,542
Transcript: swsub.com
Synch: sub-way.fr | italiansubs.net
53
00:03:20,843 --> 00:03:23,030
So Missy, what brings you
all the way from Texas?
54
00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:25,393
Was it perhaps destiny?
I think it was destiny.
55
00:03:25,812 --> 00:03:28,128
My friend's getting married
at Disneyland tomorrow night.
56
00:03:28,289 --> 00:03:30,563
Destiny, thy name is Anaheim.
57
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:36,428
And I had to drop off some papers
for Shelly to sign for my Dad's estate.
58
00:03:36,589 --> 00:03:40,098
The papers could've been mailed.
Mom sent you to spy on me, didn't she?
59
00:03:40,259 --> 00:03:42,559
I guess that's why
they call you a genius.
60
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,112
They call me a genius
because I'm a genius.
61
00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:48,940
{\pos(192,200)}Tell Mom
that I currently weigh 165 pounds
62
00:03:49,101 --> 00:03:51,314
and that I'm having
regular bowel movements.
63
00:03:52,595 --> 00:03:54,112
Enjoy the wedding. Good-bye.
64
00:03:57,249 --> 00:04:00,744
If the wedding's not until tomorrow,
why don't you stay with us tonight?
65
00:04:00,905 --> 00:04:03,455
I don't think so.
Shelly doesn't like company.
66
00:04:03,615 --> 00:04:06,039
Even as a little boy,
he'd send his imaginary friends home
67
00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:07,417
at the end of the day.
68
00:04:07,891 --> 00:04:11,004
They were not friends.
They were imaginary colleagues.
69
00:04:11,924 --> 00:04:14,393
Look, you're here.
We have plenty of room.
70
00:04:14,513 --> 00:04:15,508
No, we don't.
71
00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:17,998
Come on, Shelly.
She's family.
72
00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:21,290
So what, I don't issue invitations
to your mother.
73
00:04:22,406 --> 00:04:25,143
It would be nice not to have
to drive to Anaheim in rush hour.
74
00:04:25,304 --> 00:04:27,074
And don't ever call me Shelly.
75
00:04:27,972 --> 00:04:29,773
So it's settled: you'll stay with us.
76
00:04:29,934 --> 00:04:33,095
Yeah, I'll walk you to your car.
You're in structure 3, level C, right?
77
00:04:37,247 --> 00:04:38,798
What just happened?
78
00:04:40,985 --> 00:04:42,854
So anyway, we're eight years old
79
00:04:42,974 --> 00:04:45,060
and Sheldon converts
my Easy Bake Oven
80
00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:47,165
to some kind
of high-powered furnace.
81
00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:49,312
Just classic.
82
00:04:50,844 --> 00:04:53,678
I needed a place to fire
ceramic semiconductor substrates
83
00:04:53,798 --> 00:04:55,590
for homemade integrated circuits.
84
00:04:55,818 --> 00:04:57,893
He was trying to build
some sort of armed robot
85
00:04:58,013 --> 00:04:59,426
to keep me out of his room.
86
00:04:59,743 --> 00:05:02,776
Made necessary by her insistence
on going into my room.
87
00:05:03,466 --> 00:05:05,998
Anyway, I go to make
those little corn muffins they give you.
88
00:05:06,118 --> 00:05:09,432
There's a big flash. Next thing you know
my eyebrows are gone.
89
00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:12,292
Not your eyebrows!
90
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:16,016
Yep, I had to go through
the entire second grade
91
00:05:16,136 --> 00:05:18,530
with crooked eyebrows
my mom drew on.
92
00:05:18,894 --> 00:05:20,296
Is that what that was?
93
00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:24,411
I just assumed that the second grade
curriculum had rendered you quizzical.
94
00:05:27,699 --> 00:05:30,497
You left your underwear
in the dryer downstairs.
95
00:05:36,722 --> 00:05:38,049
Those are not mine.
96
00:05:39,638 --> 00:05:42,745
Really? They have
your little name label in them.
97
00:05:43,941 --> 00:05:46,217
Yeah, no, I do... I use those...
98
00:05:46,594 --> 00:05:50,071
just to polish up
my spearfishing equipment.
99
00:05:52,206 --> 00:05:53,383
I spearfish.
100
00:05:57,515 --> 00:06:00,071
When I'm not crossbow hunting,
I spearfish.
101
00:06:03,369 --> 00:06:05,452
This is Sheldon's twin sister, Missy.
102
00:06:05,612 --> 00:06:07,162
This is our neighbor, Penny.
103
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:10,568
- You don't look that much alike.
- Can I get a hallelujah?
104
00:06:11,917 --> 00:06:14,004
Fraternal twins come
from two separate eggs.
105
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,211
They are no more alike
than any other siblings.
106
00:06:19,042 --> 00:06:20,883
Hey, guess what.
I've been accepted
107
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:24,803
as a test subject for a new miracle drug
to overcome pathological shyness.
108
00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:28,934
- Good for you, Raj.
- Yes, I'm very hopeful. Hello, Missy.
109
00:06:39,554 --> 00:06:41,947
They mentioned
there may be side effects.
110
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,148
So, Missy,
111
00:06:45,937 --> 00:06:49,379
have you ever met a man
from the exotic subcontinent of India?
112
00:06:50,867 --> 00:06:53,208
Well, there's Dr. Patel at our church.
113
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,126
Yes, Patel... good man.
114
00:06:55,579 --> 00:06:58,380
Do you like motorcycles?
'Cause I ride a hog.
115
00:06:59,221 --> 00:07:02,467
A hog? You have a two-cylinder scooter
with a basket in the front.
116
00:07:04,309 --> 00:07:06,595
You still have to wear a helmet.
117
00:07:08,309 --> 00:07:10,445
Have you ever heard
of the Kama Sutra?
118
00:07:10,565 --> 00:07:13,080
- The sex book.
- The Indian sex book.
119
00:07:13,556 --> 00:07:15,382
In other words,
if you "wonder, wonder
120
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,167
who wrote the book of love,"
it was us.
121
00:07:20,405 --> 00:07:23,608
- Sheldon's sister is pretty cute, huh?
- I wasn't staring.
122
00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:28,423
I didn't say you were.
I just said she was cute.
123
00:07:30,494 --> 00:07:31,455
Maybe,
124
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,207
if you like women who are tall...
125
00:07:35,426 --> 00:07:36,627
and perfect.
126
00:07:39,651 --> 00:07:41,785
Sheldon, why are you
ignoring your sister?
127
00:07:41,905 --> 00:07:44,960
I'm not ignoring my sister.
I'm ignoring all of you.
128
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,596
I brought snacks!
129
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,992
Oh, my, gherkins and...
130
00:07:51,873 --> 00:07:53,754
Onion dip. It's onion dip.
131
00:07:56,488 --> 00:07:58,059
We don't entertain much.
132
00:08:00,375 --> 00:08:02,669
Missy.
Do you enjoy pajamas?
133
00:08:03,903 --> 00:08:06,307
- I guess.
- We Indians invented them.
134
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,758
You're welcome.
135
00:08:10,393 --> 00:08:12,920
Yeah, well, my people
invented circumcision.
136
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,202
You're welcome.
137
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,547
Missy, I'm gonna go get my nails done.
Do you want to come?
138
00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:25,917
God, yes.
Thanks.
139
00:08:26,398 --> 00:08:27,589
You're welcome.
140
00:08:28,788 --> 00:08:31,272
- Bye, guys.
- Bye, Missy, see you.
141
00:08:31,764 --> 00:08:34,431
- Goodbye, Leonard.
- Oh, yeah, no, bye, Penny.
142
00:08:36,437 --> 00:08:37,958
You two have to back off.
143
00:08:38,078 --> 00:08:39,981
Why should I back off?
You back off, dude.
144
00:08:40,141 --> 00:08:42,692
Excuse me, this is my apartment,
and she's my roommate's sister.
145
00:08:42,853 --> 00:08:45,539
- So what? You've already got Penny!
- How do I have Penny?
146
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,530
In what universe do I have Penny?
147
00:08:48,927 --> 00:08:50,980
- So I can have Penny?
- Hell, no!
148
00:08:52,362 --> 00:08:54,571
Excuse me.
Can I interject something?
149
00:08:56,215 --> 00:08:59,417
I'm ordering pizza online.
Is everyone okay with pepperoni?
150
00:09:01,649 --> 00:09:04,706
- Sheldon, can I talk to you in private?
- I guess.
151
00:09:05,347 --> 00:09:07,593
Don't worry. I was going
to order you cheese-less.
152
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,059
- Thank you.
- It's okay.
153
00:09:09,179 --> 00:09:12,185
Lactose intolerance
is nothing to be embarrassed about.
154
00:09:14,089 --> 00:09:16,930
I'm a fancy Indian man.
We invented pajamas.
155
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,232
Hey, look at me.
I don't have a foreskin.
156
00:09:31,359 --> 00:09:34,619
Are you aware that your sister
is an incredibly attractive woman?
157
00:09:37,418 --> 00:09:39,661
She certainly has the symmetry
and low body fat
158
00:09:39,781 --> 00:09:41,996
that Western culture deems desirable.
159
00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:44,270
It's noteworthy,
at other points in history,
160
00:09:44,390 --> 00:09:46,390
heavier women
were the standard for beauty
161
00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:48,799
because their girth
suggested affluence.
162
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,066
That's fascinating...
163
00:09:51,186 --> 00:09:53,924
I didn't say it was fascinating.
I said it was noteworthy.
164
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,157
All right... noted.
165
00:09:57,209 --> 00:10:00,133
But my point is
that Koothrappali and Wolowitz,
166
00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,999
they're hitting on your sister.
167
00:10:06,986 --> 00:10:07,819
Okay.
168
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,675
You know, I don't want to criticize
your rhetorical style,
169
00:10:10,795 --> 00:10:13,041
but we'd be a lot further along
in this conversation
170
00:10:13,161 --> 00:10:14,950
if you'd begun with that thought.
171
00:10:15,394 --> 00:10:16,702
- Great...
- I'm saying
172
00:10:16,863 --> 00:10:19,956
we took quite an unnecessary detour from
what I now understand to be your thesis.
173
00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:21,089
Whatever.
174
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:24,501
You have to do something about it.
175
00:10:25,026 --> 00:10:27,464
- Why?
- Because she's your sister.
176
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,088
I don't understand.
177
00:10:30,637 --> 00:10:33,031
Yes, we shared a uterus
for nine months,
178
00:10:33,151 --> 00:10:36,285
but since then we've pretty much
gone our own separate ways.
179
00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:39,516
Okay, consider this.
180
00:10:39,883 --> 00:10:41,462
With your father gone,
181
00:10:41,582 --> 00:10:43,270
it is your responsibility
182
00:10:43,612 --> 00:10:46,466
to make sure that Missy
chooses a suitable mate.
183
00:10:48,612 --> 00:10:50,103
I hadn't considered that.
184
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,869
We do share DNA.
185
00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:55,617
So there is the possibility,
however remote,
186
00:10:55,777 --> 00:10:57,424
that resting in her loins
187
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:01,021
is the potential for another individual
as remarkable as myself.
188
00:11:01,854 --> 00:11:03,458
Exactly.
189
00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:07,028
And you owe it to yourself
and to posterity
190
00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:10,882
to protect the genetic integrity
of your sister's future offspring.
191
00:11:13,012 --> 00:11:14,258
You're right.
192
00:11:14,557 --> 00:11:16,810
If someone wants to get
at Missy's Fallopian tubes,
193
00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:18,751
they'll have to go through me.
194
00:11:28,393 --> 00:11:30,266
I am Shiva the Destroyer!
195
00:11:30,386 --> 00:11:32,067
I will have the woman.
196
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:36,893
I'm warning you,
I was judo champion at math camp.
197
00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:40,157
All right, now that's enough
juvenile squabbling.
198
00:11:40,277 --> 00:11:41,996
You stop it. Stop it, I say!
199
00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:45,331
I'm going to settle this right now.
200
00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:47,953
Neither of you are good enough
for my sister.
201
00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:49,754
Who are you to decide that?
202
00:11:49,915 --> 00:11:52,880
He's the man of his family.
You have to respect his wishes.
203
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,098
- You're out, too, by the way.
- Say what?
204
00:11:55,373 --> 00:11:57,112
It's nothing personal. I'd just prefer
205
00:11:57,232 --> 00:11:59,448
if my future niece or nephew
didn't become flatulent
206
00:11:59,568 --> 00:12:01,617
every time they ate an eskimo pie.
207
00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:09,648
What are you so happy about?
208
00:12:09,966 --> 00:12:10,959
I'm not happy.
209
00:12:11,211 --> 00:12:13,633
It's the medication.
I can't stop smiling.
210
00:12:19,729 --> 00:12:22,931
Now that Leonard's made me aware
how high the genetic stakes are...
211
00:12:23,051 --> 00:12:26,291
we have to face the fact that none of
you are suitable mates for my sister.
212
00:12:26,761 --> 00:12:29,271
Wait a minute.
Leonard made you aware of that?
213
00:12:31,065 --> 00:12:33,119
We all make mistakes.
Let's move on.
214
00:12:33,915 --> 00:12:36,396
Excuse me, I think you're missing
a big opportunity here.
215
00:12:36,516 --> 00:12:37,302
How so?
216
00:12:37,463 --> 00:12:40,798
Everybody knows genetic diversity
produces the strongest offspring.
217
00:12:41,148 --> 00:12:44,303
Why not put a little mocha
in the family latte?
218
00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:48,975
In principle, you have a point.
219
00:12:49,149 --> 00:12:51,112
But as a practical matter,
need I remind you
220
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,235
that it takes experimental
pharmaceuticals
221
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,895
to simply enable you
to speak to the opposite sex.
222
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,020
I think you're focusing
entirely too much on the drugs.
223
00:13:06,191 --> 00:13:07,576
Is it 'cause I'm Jewish?
224
00:13:07,696 --> 00:13:10,664
'Cause I'd kill my rabbi
with a pork chop to be with your sister.
225
00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:19,306
This has nothing to do with religion.
226
00:13:19,426 --> 00:13:21,963
This has to do with the fact
that you're a tiny, tiny man
227
00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,901
who still lives with his mother.
228
00:13:24,862 --> 00:13:27,059
Sheldon, you are really
being unreasonable.
229
00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:28,186
Am I?
230
00:13:28,736 --> 00:13:32,318
Here, eat this cheese without farting
and you can sleep with my sister.
231
00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,256
Oh, really?
232
00:13:42,417 --> 00:13:44,434
Shelly, can I speak to you for a minute?
233
00:13:44,554 --> 00:13:45,389
Alone.
234
00:13:46,278 --> 00:13:48,852
Why does everyone suddenly
want to talk to me alone?
235
00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:51,068
Usually nobody wants
to be alone with me.
236
00:13:57,581 --> 00:13:59,816
We all make mistakes.
Let's move on.
237
00:14:03,305 --> 00:14:05,932
I'm not even going to ask
why you're pimping me out for cheese.
238
00:14:07,761 --> 00:14:11,021
But since when do you care at all
about who I sleep with?
239
00:14:11,528 --> 00:14:13,484
Truthfully, I've never given it
any thought,
240
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:17,068
but it has been pointed out to me
that you carry DNA of great potential.
241
00:14:17,380 --> 00:14:20,092
- What on earth are you talking about?
- Let me explain.
242
00:14:20,212 --> 00:14:23,303
You see,
I'm a superior genetic mutation,
243
00:14:23,423 --> 00:14:26,578
an improvement
on the existing mediocre stock.
244
00:14:28,454 --> 00:14:31,041
And what do you mean, "mediocre stock"?
245
00:14:31,202 --> 00:14:32,292
That would be you.
246
00:14:33,887 --> 00:14:37,098
But residing within you,
is the potential for another me.
247
00:14:37,426 --> 00:14:41,075
Perhaps even taller, smarter,
and less prone to freckling,
248
00:14:41,417 --> 00:14:43,305
a Sheldon 2.0, if you will.
249
00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:46,214
"Sheldon 2.0"?
250
00:14:46,424 --> 00:14:47,463
Exactly.
251
00:14:47,707 --> 00:14:51,439
Now, I am not saying that I should be
the sole decider of who you mate with.
252
00:14:51,559 --> 00:14:53,312
If you're not attracted to the suitor,
253
00:14:53,474 --> 00:14:55,564
the likelihood of conception
will be reduced.
254
00:14:55,726 --> 00:14:57,809
- You have got to be kidding me.
- Not at all.
255
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:01,146
Frequent coitus dramatically
increases the odds of fertilization.
256
00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:04,422
Okay, Shelly, sit down.
257
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,362
Now I've lived my whole life dealing
with the fact that my twin brother is,
258
00:15:11,615 --> 00:15:12,939
as mom puts it,
259
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,584
"one of God's special, little people".
260
00:15:16,497 --> 00:15:18,902
I always thought I was more
like a cuckoo bird.
261
00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:22,989
You know, a superior creature whose egg
is placed in the nest of ordinary birds.
262
00:15:23,269 --> 00:15:25,598
Of course, the newly hatched cuckoo
eats all the food,
263
00:15:25,718 --> 00:15:28,048
leaving the ordinary siblings
to starve to death.
264
00:15:29,122 --> 00:15:31,718
Luckily for you,
that's where the metaphor ended.
265
00:15:33,424 --> 00:15:35,383
I thought it ended at "cuckoo".
266
00:15:38,165 --> 00:15:39,465
You listen to me.
267
00:15:39,628 --> 00:15:42,025
If you want to start acting
like a brother who cares about me,
268
00:15:42,145 --> 00:15:44,314
then terrific. Bring it on.
269
00:15:44,802 --> 00:15:47,591
But you try one time to tell me
who I should be sleeping with,
270
00:15:47,711 --> 00:15:49,566
and you and I are going
to go round and round
271
00:15:49,686 --> 00:15:52,126
the way we did when we were little.
Remember?
272
00:15:56,144 --> 00:15:58,461
- I have an alternate proposal.
- Go on.
273
00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,360
You donate eggs.
274
00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:02,393
We will place them in cryogenic storage.
275
00:16:02,534 --> 00:16:05,425
I will find an appropriate
sperm donor for your eggs,
276
00:16:05,545 --> 00:16:07,929
have them fertilized
and implanted in you.
277
00:16:08,090 --> 00:16:10,036
That way, everybody wins.
278
00:16:18,874 --> 00:16:20,025
Correction.
279
00:16:20,186 --> 00:16:22,489
Missy can date whoever she wants.
280
00:16:24,406 --> 00:16:25,918
Look, we have to settle this.
281
00:16:26,038 --> 00:16:27,058
I agree.
282
00:16:27,178 --> 00:16:30,169
Sheldon's sister is hiding at Penny's
because we've all been hitting on her
283
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,319
- at the same time.
- She's not hiding.
284
00:16:32,455 --> 00:16:35,493
She needed privacy to call her
grandmother who's apparently very sick.
285
00:16:35,613 --> 00:16:37,894
And then I believe
she has to wash her hair.
286
00:16:38,975 --> 00:16:41,104
You poor, deluded bastard.
287
00:16:41,581 --> 00:16:43,955
- Don't start with me.
- You want to go again? Let's go.
288
00:16:44,075 --> 00:16:45,021
Sit down.
289
00:16:46,938 --> 00:16:49,557
If we're going to fight over Missy,
let's do it the right way.
290
00:16:49,764 --> 00:16:51,145
The honorable way.
291
00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:53,909
Take that!
292
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,054
You want some more?
293
00:16:59,662 --> 00:17:00,829
And he's down!
294
00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:03,637
One, two, three...
295
00:17:04,408 --> 00:17:05,779
Come on! Get up!
296
00:17:06,003 --> 00:17:07,254
Stay down, bitch!
297
00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:11,291
Nine, ten.
298
00:17:13,311 --> 00:17:14,905
Natural selection at work.
299
00:17:15,213 --> 00:17:16,931
I weep for humanity.
300
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:20,559
Excuse me while I go tell
Missy the good news.
301
00:17:27,371 --> 00:17:29,225
- Leonard.
- Hi, Penny. How's it going?
302
00:17:29,345 --> 00:17:31,804
That guy Mike that you were dating,
is that still going on?
303
00:17:32,004 --> 00:17:33,217
Pretty much. Why?
304
00:17:33,337 --> 00:17:36,178
Nothing, just catching up. By the way,
may I speak to Missy, please?
305
00:17:37,526 --> 00:17:38,871
Of course.
306
00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:43,040
- Hi, Leonard. What's up?
- Since you're leaving tomorrow,
307
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,485
I was wondering
if you'd like to go to dinner with me.
308
00:17:46,221 --> 00:17:48,280
That's so sweet. But no thanks.
309
00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:53,649
- Do you have other plans or...
- No.
310
00:17:57,778 --> 00:17:58,885
All right.
311
00:18:00,583 --> 00:18:03,858
- Enjoy the rest of your evening.
- Thanks. See ya.
312
00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,740
Here's something we didn't anticipate.
313
00:18:19,661 --> 00:18:21,020
What do you want, Howard?
314
00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:23,758
I'm fine. Thanks for asking.
315
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,818
I've come to call on Missy.
316
00:18:31,207 --> 00:18:33,638
- Hi, Howard.
- The Amazing Howard.
317
00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:37,995
- Do you like magic?
- Not really. No.
318
00:18:39,357 --> 00:18:41,291
Then you are in for a treat.
319
00:18:43,451 --> 00:18:45,608
Behold, an ordinary cane.
320
00:19:18,655 --> 00:19:20,993
Thank you. I apprec...
321
00:19:22,872 --> 00:19:24,073
Apprec...
322
00:19:25,452 --> 00:19:26,675
Appree...
323
00:19:28,874 --> 00:19:31,549
Oh, honey.
Is your medication wearing off?
324
00:19:35,265 --> 00:19:36,664
Well, hi, cutie pie.
325
00:19:36,946 --> 00:19:38,664
I was hoping you'd show up.
326
00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:09,175
We had a dog who made
a noise like that.
327
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,400
Had to put him down.
328
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,482
Any news you want me
to pass on to Mom?
329
00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:20,452
Well, she might be interested to know
that I have refocused my research
330
00:20:20,572 --> 00:20:23,560
from bosonic string theory
to heterotic string theory.
331
00:20:24,671 --> 00:20:26,503
I'll just tell her you say "hey".
332
00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:31,352
Well, it was pleasant seeing you,
333
00:20:31,472 --> 00:20:33,918
other than that business
with my testicles.
334
00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:37,240
Come on, Shelly.
335
00:20:43,248 --> 00:20:45,289
I want you to know
I'm very proud of you.
336
00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:46,539
Really?
337
00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:50,412
Yep, I'm always bragging to my friends
about my brother, the rocket scientist.
338
00:20:51,779 --> 00:20:54,381
You tell people I'm a rocket scientist?
339
00:20:55,582 --> 00:20:56,508
Well, yeah.
340
00:20:56,669 --> 00:20:58,636
I'm a theoretical physicist.
341
00:20:58,969 --> 00:21:01,941
- What's the difference?
- What's the difference?
342
00:21:03,177 --> 00:21:04,379
Good bye, Shelly.
343
00:21:04,642 --> 00:21:06,391
My God!
344
00:21:07,289 --> 00:21:11,182
Why don't you just tell them that I'm
a toll-taker at the Golden Gate Bridge?
345
00:21:13,892 --> 00:21:16,323
Rocket scientist. How humiliating.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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