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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,499 Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend... 2 00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:03,198 This is Nathaniel Plimpton, 3 00:00:03,199 --> 00:00:04,899 the new co-owner of the firm. 4 00:00:04,902 --> 00:00:07,202 We're gonna start running this place like a real business. 5 00:00:07,621 --> 00:00:10,322 My father and our firm demand nothing less. 6 00:00:10,324 --> 00:00:11,556 Moved here for Josh Chan? 7 00:00:11,558 --> 00:00:12,857 Of course you would do something 8 00:00:12,859 --> 00:00:14,158 like give up your wonderful life 9 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,726 in New York to be near that... 10 00:00:15,728 --> 00:00:17,595 - that loser. - JOSH: I know I hurt you, 11 00:00:17,597 --> 00:00:19,263 and I don't blame you for not trusting me, 12 00:00:19,265 --> 00:00:21,299 but I promise you it'll be different this time. 13 00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:23,034 We'll start over, do things the right way. 14 00:00:23,036 --> 00:00:24,135 Rebecca, I love you. 15 00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:25,603 Oh... you love me? 16 00:00:25,603 --> 00:00:27,069 You mean you love something about me. 17 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,168 No, you. 18 00:00:28,168 --> 00:00:29,801 I love you. 19 00:00:29,876 --> 00:00:32,377 Oh, my God, I love you, too, Josh Chan. 20 00:00:32,379 --> 00:00:34,145 Come here. 21 00:00:34,147 --> 00:00:36,481 I'm just a girl in love 22 00:00:36,483 --> 00:00:38,416 La-la-la, lovey-dove 23 00:00:38,418 --> 00:00:41,319 I can't be held responsible for my actions 24 00:00:41,321 --> 00:00:42,587 She's an ingenue 25 00:00:42,589 --> 00:00:44,689 I have no underlying issues to address 26 00:00:44,691 --> 00:00:47,225 I'm certifiably cute and adorably obsessed 27 00:00:47,227 --> 00:00:49,060 They say love makes you crazy 28 00:00:49,062 --> 00:00:51,363 Therefore, you can't call her crazy 29 00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:53,365 'Cause when you call her crazy 30 00:00:53,367 --> 00:00:55,734 You're just calling her in love. 31 00:00:55,736 --> 00:00:57,902 Blam! 32 00:01:05,979 --> 00:01:07,345 Okay, on the count of three. 33 00:01:07,347 --> 00:01:08,713 One, two, three. 34 00:01:08,715 --> 00:01:10,515 BOTH: In a relationship! 35 00:01:10,617 --> 00:01:12,383 Oh, that's so great. Let's post to Instagram. 36 00:01:12,385 --> 00:01:15,487 Okay, #StatusUpdate #ItsFacebookOfficial. 37 00:01:15,489 --> 00:01:17,088 Rebecca, leave it to the professional. 38 00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:20,492 #FromTheMountaintops #EverAfter #DoubleRainbows 39 00:01:20,494 --> 00:01:22,761 #MerrilyMerrilyMerrilyLifeIsButADream. 40 00:01:22,763 --> 00:01:24,696 - Okay, done. Posted. - (both giggle) 41 00:01:24,698 --> 00:01:26,531 Skyler's gonna love this photo. 42 00:01:26,533 --> 00:01:29,701 Wait, my cousin Skyler? Why is he following you? 43 00:01:29,703 --> 00:01:31,636 We're going to his bar mitzvah this weekend. 44 00:01:31,638 --> 00:01:33,371 I friended practically his whole class 45 00:01:33,373 --> 00:01:34,773 at Scarsdale Middle School. 46 00:01:34,775 --> 00:01:37,309 Jonah Leibowitz is playing hard to get, but I'll get him. 47 00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:40,232 (clucks tongue) Oh. 48 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,585 You know, normally, I wouldn't look forward 49 00:01:42,594 --> 00:01:43,994 to going to a family bar mitzvah, 50 00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:45,261 but now that you'll be there, 51 00:01:45,263 --> 00:01:48,131 it's just gonna be different and supes awss. 52 00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:51,067 #SupesAwss, I love it. 53 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,602 Oh, my God, I love it, too. 54 00:01:52,604 --> 00:01:54,738 Okay, #SupesAwss, let's do it. Okay. 55 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:55,972 BOTH: One, two, three. 56 00:01:55,974 --> 00:01:57,874 Supes awss! 57 00:01:57,876 --> 00:01:59,242 (Rebecca and Josh laughing) 58 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,510 You know, studies have shown 59 00:02:00,512 --> 00:02:02,946 that couples who post a lot on social media 60 00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:05,148 are often insecure about their attachment. 61 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:07,117 Heather, did you just look that up? 62 00:02:07,119 --> 00:02:08,818 No, I actually started with a hypothesis, 63 00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:10,687 and then I backed it up with a Vox article. 64 00:02:10,689 --> 00:02:12,355 It's standard scientific method. 65 00:02:12,357 --> 00:02:14,157 Okay, well, you're way off because Josh and I 66 00:02:14,159 --> 00:02:16,169 - just want to show the world our happiness... - Mm-hmm. 67 00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,350 ... and maybe once they see our happiness, it'll spread and then 68 00:02:18,363 --> 00:02:21,468 - there will be no more war. - Mm, mwah. That's right, baby. 69 00:02:21,468 --> 00:02:22,601 That's how peace happens. 70 00:02:22,621 --> 00:02:23,753 REBECCA: Yeah. 71 00:02:23,789 --> 00:02:25,656 Love fixes everything. (giggles) 72 00:02:25,658 --> 00:02:28,225 I just don't think that's realistic. 73 00:02:28,227 --> 00:02:29,493 BOTH: Just shut up, Heather! 74 00:02:29,495 --> 00:02:31,161 Okay? You don't know what you're talking about. 75 00:02:31,163 --> 00:02:32,729 And you know why? 76 00:02:32,731 --> 00:02:36,300 We'll never have problems again 77 00:02:36,302 --> 00:02:40,337 It's only smooth, smooth sailing from now on 78 00:02:40,339 --> 00:02:41,505 Uh-huh 79 00:02:41,507 --> 00:02:45,576 We'll never have problems again 80 00:02:45,578 --> 00:02:48,412 We used to have problems, but now they're gone 81 00:02:48,514 --> 00:02:49,713 Phew 82 00:02:49,715 --> 00:02:51,515 Do you remember 83 00:02:51,517 --> 00:02:54,184 Back when we had problems? 84 00:02:54,186 --> 00:02:58,388 Oh, man, that was annoying 85 00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:02,192 But now our love has magically solved them 86 00:03:02,194 --> 00:03:07,097 And there won't be any more in our future at all... 87 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:09,233 Okay, so you guys are, like, super delusional. 88 00:03:09,235 --> 00:03:11,201 Ugh, go away, Heather. Yeah, get out! 89 00:03:11,203 --> 00:03:15,172 Fine, I guess I'll just Soul Train out of here, losers. 90 00:03:15,174 --> 00:03:19,710 JOSH and REBECCA: We'll never have problems again 91 00:03:19,712 --> 00:03:24,114 Now everyone will know that our love is undying 92 00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:28,719 We'll never have problems again 93 00:03:28,721 --> 00:03:30,420 No more nights 94 00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:32,556 Of randomly crying 95 00:03:32,558 --> 00:03:34,491 We'll never worry about paying the bills 96 00:03:34,493 --> 00:03:36,494 The only money we'll need is sunset 97 00:03:36,496 --> 00:03:38,262 If we feel like we've run out of thrills 98 00:03:38,264 --> 00:03:41,164 Hey, look, another sunset 99 00:03:41,166 --> 00:03:42,866 We don't need gasoline 100 00:03:42,868 --> 00:03:44,635 Our car will run on love 101 00:03:44,637 --> 00:03:47,204 Elon Musk is developing that kind of car 102 00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:49,206 The first test failed 103 00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:52,576 But that's 'cause it wasn't true love 104 00:03:52,578 --> 00:03:55,846 They say obsession biologically lasts 105 00:03:55,848 --> 00:03:57,481 Four years at most 106 00:03:57,483 --> 00:04:01,618 But science doesn't apply to us 107 00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,987 Some say we're all repeating patterns 108 00:04:03,989 --> 00:04:05,856 Taught by our parents 109 00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:08,292 But that's just... 110 00:04:08,294 --> 00:04:09,493 - No. - That's... 111 00:04:09,495 --> 00:04:11,428 That's not a thing. No. No, no, it's not. No, no. 112 00:04:11,430 --> 00:04:14,965 We'll never have problems again 113 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:17,000 No more ups and downs 114 00:04:17,002 --> 00:04:19,336 It's just ups and ups and ups 115 00:04:19,338 --> 00:04:23,874 We'll never have problems again 116 00:04:23,876 --> 00:04:26,877 Our love has made us totes invincible 117 00:04:26,879 --> 00:04:29,846 I've been cynical most of my life 118 00:04:29,848 --> 00:04:31,481 And everything's fallen flat 119 00:04:31,483 --> 00:04:36,386 Now, for once, the situation's a lot less nuanced than that 120 00:04:36,388 --> 00:04:38,622 We're problem free 121 00:04:38,624 --> 00:04:40,557 That's you and me 122 00:04:40,559 --> 00:04:41,758 We're problem free 123 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:42,926 Ooh 124 00:04:42,928 --> 00:04:44,861 That's you and me 125 00:04:44,863 --> 00:04:46,930 Live fade out, live fade out 126 00:04:46,932 --> 00:04:49,032 Live fade out, live fade out 127 00:04:49,034 --> 00:04:51,201 (softer): Live fade out, live fade out 128 00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:52,970 Live fade out, live fade out 129 00:04:52,972 --> 00:04:54,338 Live fade out. 130 00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:56,406 BOTH (whispering): Live fade out, live fade out, 131 00:04:56,408 --> 00:04:58,075 live fade out, live fade... 132 00:05:02,681 --> 00:05:05,449 Paula, be totally honest. 133 00:05:05,451 --> 00:05:08,452 Does this suit say, "Hey, Nathaniel, I'm a lot like you, 134 00:05:08,454 --> 00:05:10,520 a successful power player who deserves respect 135 00:05:10,522 --> 00:05:13,223 and at least some important responsibilities. Hmm?" 136 00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:15,959 Yeah, you know, it says something more like, 137 00:05:15,961 --> 00:05:18,195 "Irregular, 30% off, The Suit Barn." 138 00:05:18,197 --> 00:05:20,230 Maybe not that honest. 139 00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,366 No, doofus. 140 00:05:22,368 --> 00:05:24,434 It's what it says on your tag. 141 00:05:24,436 --> 00:05:25,769 Oh! Oh, oh. 142 00:05:25,771 --> 00:05:26,937 - Good call. - Yeah. 143 00:05:26,939 --> 00:05:27,971 Are there any more? 144 00:05:27,973 --> 00:05:29,439 Yeah, no, you're... 145 00:05:29,441 --> 00:05:31,608 you're... great. 146 00:05:32,544 --> 00:05:33,844 Hey, there. 147 00:05:33,846 --> 00:05:37,748 Wow, you have the most intense look on your face. 148 00:05:39,318 --> 00:05:41,852 I'm excited for your other looks, whenever those get going. 149 00:05:43,589 --> 00:05:47,557 Wow, so you found, uh, Rebecca's, uh, treadmill desk. 150 00:05:47,559 --> 00:05:50,360 Yes. Took maintenance a while to get out the hot dog smell. 151 00:05:50,362 --> 00:05:51,995 Well, you know Rebecca. 152 00:05:51,997 --> 00:05:53,463 She loves to jog and dog. 153 00:05:53,465 --> 00:05:54,731 Darryl, what can I do for you? 154 00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:56,967 The question is: What can I do for you? 155 00:05:56,969 --> 00:05:58,335 Because I get it. 156 00:05:58,337 --> 00:06:00,404 You're now the number one; I'm the number two, 157 00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:02,739 dangling under you, ready to drop in, 158 00:06:02,741 --> 00:06:03,840 make a splash. 159 00:06:03,842 --> 00:06:05,275 Darryl, stop. 160 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:06,743 So you're not craving a number two? 161 00:06:06,745 --> 00:06:09,413 There's no rumblings for a deuce? 162 00:06:09,415 --> 00:06:10,814 No. 163 00:06:10,816 --> 00:06:13,617 Cool, cool. Well, I'm not gonna push it. 164 00:06:13,619 --> 00:06:15,318 I'm just gonna go back one out. 165 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,555 I mean... I'm just gonna back out. 166 00:06:25,864 --> 00:06:28,465 Uh-oh. 167 00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:29,700 You're not even separating out 168 00:06:29,702 --> 00:06:32,769 the buttered-popcorn-flavored ones. 169 00:06:32,771 --> 00:06:33,937 Didn't go well, huh? 170 00:06:33,939 --> 00:06:35,973 What? No, it went great. 171 00:06:35,975 --> 00:06:37,874 Yeah, I mean, he doesn't have a lot for me now, 172 00:06:37,876 --> 00:06:39,242 but I know he will soon. 173 00:06:39,244 --> 00:06:40,544 Absolutely. 174 00:06:40,546 --> 00:06:42,879 I mean, it's all gonna change once he gets that big client. 175 00:06:42,881 --> 00:06:45,382 That what? What client? 176 00:06:45,384 --> 00:06:47,384 You know, that huge client that he used to rep 177 00:06:47,386 --> 00:06:49,219 in the L.A. office, and his dad said he could 178 00:06:49,221 --> 00:06:50,387 also represent them here. 179 00:06:50,389 --> 00:06:51,822 Oh! 180 00:06:51,824 --> 00:06:53,290 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 181 00:06:53,292 --> 00:06:55,292 The-the big client. To... 182 00:06:55,294 --> 00:06:57,494 I thought you said, "The pig client." 183 00:06:57,496 --> 00:06:59,329 You don't know about them? 184 00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,331 The pork processing place out in Duarte? 185 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,866 Oh, you got to check that out. 186 00:07:02,868 --> 00:07:04,868 But you said "the big client." 187 00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:07,104 That's the one... that's the one that has the weird name 188 00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:08,505 that's... it's hard to pronounce. 189 00:07:08,507 --> 00:07:09,772 How do you, how do you say it? 190 00:07:09,774 --> 00:07:11,341 Just off the top of your head. 191 00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:12,509 Say it. Just say it. 192 00:07:12,511 --> 00:07:14,477 Peterson Car Sales? 193 00:07:14,479 --> 00:07:16,980 Mm, close, but it's actually Petterson. 194 00:07:16,982 --> 00:07:18,081 It's Petterson Car Sales. 195 00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:19,550 Yeah, that's it. 196 00:07:19,552 --> 00:07:20,751 Correct pronunciation. 197 00:07:20,753 --> 00:07:22,519 Anyway, over and out. 198 00:07:22,521 --> 00:07:24,821 (mouth full): I got a lot of work to do. 199 00:07:30,429 --> 00:07:33,764 Oh... you found my old hot dog cooker. 200 00:07:33,766 --> 00:07:34,931 Pop the cover off, 201 00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:36,466 set it to 3.4 MPH, 202 00:07:36,468 --> 00:07:38,435 slide some Ball Park fatties on those rollers, 203 00:07:38,437 --> 00:07:40,871 it cooks up (clucks tongue) real nice. 204 00:07:40,873 --> 00:07:42,372 (exhales) Oh. 205 00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,574 Yeah... what are you doing to yourself? 206 00:07:44,576 --> 00:07:46,309 High interval impact training. 207 00:07:46,311 --> 00:07:48,378 It's intense periodic exertion, 208 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,880 which activates your fight or flight. 209 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,079 It's not a real workout 210 00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,478 unless your body is convinced 211 00:07:52,484 --> 00:07:53,784 it's being chased by a lion. 212 00:07:53,886 --> 00:07:54,985 Mm, that sounds factual. 213 00:07:54,987 --> 00:07:56,586 So, listen, I wanted to let you know 214 00:07:56,588 --> 00:07:58,455 I'm heading out a little early today. 215 00:07:58,457 --> 00:07:59,790 I have some unused vacation days, 216 00:07:59,792 --> 00:08:01,491 and you can fact-check that with Karen. 217 00:08:01,493 --> 00:08:03,126 Okay, where you going? 218 00:08:03,128 --> 00:08:05,662 You and Flip Flop going on a romantic weekend 219 00:08:05,664 --> 00:08:07,030 at a Sandals Resort? 220 00:08:07,032 --> 00:08:08,365 Sandals, that was really good. 221 00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:10,600 It's a little sad no one else was around to hear that. 222 00:08:10,602 --> 00:08:12,202 I don't know, I might say it again later. 223 00:08:12,204 --> 00:08:13,470 Seriously, where are you going? 224 00:08:13,472 --> 00:08:15,639 We are going to a family bar mitzvah. 225 00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:18,875 So, he is going to meet the entire Garfinkel clan. 226 00:08:18,877 --> 00:08:20,510 That's my mom's side of the family. 227 00:08:20,512 --> 00:08:22,179 It will be wonderful. 228 00:08:22,181 --> 00:08:24,281 All right. If you say so. 229 00:08:24,283 --> 00:08:26,950 I do say so, because he is the man of my dreams. 230 00:08:26,952 --> 00:08:28,618 You know you say that a lot? 231 00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,387 I've never heard anyone else use the term 232 00:08:30,389 --> 00:08:32,189 "man of my dreams" before you. 233 00:08:32,191 --> 00:08:34,457 Sounds like something a super secure person says. 234 00:08:34,459 --> 00:08:37,828 Uh, well... you don't know us, and you don't know me, 235 00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:39,229 and you don't know us, so... 236 00:08:39,231 --> 00:08:41,932 Well, you are gonna miss something great around here. 237 00:08:41,934 --> 00:08:45,902 My father is just about to give us a huge client. 238 00:08:45,904 --> 00:08:49,172 Massive. Just waiting for the final go-ahead from him. 239 00:08:49,174 --> 00:08:50,774 So, go have fun. 240 00:08:50,776 --> 00:08:52,409 I'll be here, being awesome. 241 00:08:52,411 --> 00:08:54,111 Oh, hey, on your way out, can you just 242 00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:55,212 give me a roar? 243 00:08:55,314 --> 00:08:57,314 Like a loud, fast roar. 244 00:08:57,316 --> 00:08:58,548 Doesn't have to be a lion. 245 00:08:58,550 --> 00:09:01,017 It can be like a howler monkey or something like that. 246 00:09:01,019 --> 00:09:03,253 Anything, really. Just a predator. 247 00:09:03,255 --> 00:09:06,289 A land-based predator would be... never mind. 248 00:09:06,291 --> 00:09:08,725 Have a great weekend. 249 00:09:08,727 --> 00:09:10,360 It's a family event; that's a big step. 250 00:09:10,362 --> 00:09:11,461 Yeah. 251 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:12,429 (both chuckling) 252 00:09:12,431 --> 00:09:13,930 Almost as big as when you announced 253 00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:15,532 your relationship status on Waze, 254 00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:17,534 which I didn't even know was a thing. 255 00:09:17,536 --> 00:09:20,437 Well, when it feels this great, you want everyone to know. 256 00:09:20,439 --> 00:09:22,939 Everyone? 257 00:09:25,844 --> 00:09:27,244 (exhales) 258 00:09:33,418 --> 00:09:34,985 Thank you for texting me back. 259 00:09:34,987 --> 00:09:36,586 I, um, used up my data plan 260 00:09:36,588 --> 00:09:40,790 sending you sad Bitmojis and Golden Girls GIFs. 261 00:09:40,792 --> 00:09:42,492 JIFs? Is it GIFs or JIF... Never mind. 262 00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:43,793 It's not your job to tell me. 263 00:09:43,795 --> 00:09:47,564 Yeah, uh, I had to take a few days 264 00:09:47,566 --> 00:09:50,267 once I heard about you and Josh. 265 00:09:50,269 --> 00:09:52,502 I wanted to make sure you're okay. 266 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:56,306 It's not my favorite thing, you guys being a couple... 267 00:09:56,308 --> 00:09:57,774 but I'm okay. 268 00:09:57,776 --> 00:09:58,875 And are we okay? 269 00:09:58,877 --> 00:10:00,377 The answer doesn't have to be yes. 270 00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:03,914 Good, because the answer is "eh." 271 00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:05,715 Totally get it. 272 00:10:05,717 --> 00:10:07,284 But don't worry about me, really. 273 00:10:07,286 --> 00:10:09,653 If you need to worry about someone, worry about yourself. 274 00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:11,121 Me, why? 275 00:10:11,123 --> 00:10:13,123 Don't you see that Josh is, like, 276 00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:14,524 all over the place and lost? 277 00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:16,493 But that was before. 278 00:10:16,495 --> 00:10:18,395 And I saw from the post you shared on OpenTable 279 00:10:18,397 --> 00:10:20,297 that you're taking him home to see your family. 280 00:10:20,299 --> 00:10:24,000 I know your relationship with your mom is kind of tough. 281 00:10:24,002 --> 00:10:27,671 Yeah, but now I have Josh, so, you know, it won't bother me. 282 00:10:27,673 --> 00:10:29,606 Love protects you. 283 00:10:29,608 --> 00:10:31,441 (chuckles softly) So, the things 284 00:10:31,443 --> 00:10:32,976 that used to annoy me about going home 285 00:10:32,978 --> 00:10:34,644 - won't annoy me anymore. - Hmm. 286 00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:37,814 You know? Josh is like a blankie, 287 00:10:37,816 --> 00:10:40,417 a suit of armor or a bulletproof vest. 288 00:10:40,419 --> 00:10:43,787 Honey, just because Josh Chan owns all those things 289 00:10:43,789 --> 00:10:46,256 doesn't mean he is all those things. 290 00:10:46,258 --> 00:10:47,958 He's not magic. 291 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,593 It's like magic, FB, when Rebecca and I are together. 292 00:10:50,595 --> 00:10:53,430 Yeah, I read about it on your post on Draw Something. 293 00:10:53,432 --> 00:10:55,332 Oh, shh, shh. 294 00:10:56,702 --> 00:10:58,401 Nope. 295 00:10:58,403 --> 00:10:59,803 Sorry, go on. 296 00:10:59,805 --> 00:11:01,438 This family weekend is really important, 297 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,106 and I don't want to screw it up. 298 00:11:03,108 --> 00:11:05,075 You know Rebecca's mother doesn't like me. 299 00:11:05,077 --> 00:11:06,943 At parents' weekend at camp, 300 00:11:06,945 --> 00:11:09,045 she asked me if I had pierced her daughter's hymen. 301 00:11:09,047 --> 00:11:11,147 A-And I told her, "No, Rebecca showed up to camp 302 00:11:11,149 --> 00:11:12,315 with those earrings." 303 00:11:12,317 --> 00:11:14,484 Wow. 304 00:11:14,486 --> 00:11:17,387 What if people don't like me? What if I say the wrong thing? 305 00:11:17,389 --> 00:11:19,723 What if an old person calls me Oriental? 306 00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:20,790 (chuckles softly) 307 00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:22,892 Look, Josh, I'm a man of God 308 00:11:22,894 --> 00:11:25,061 and I try to believe the best about everyone, 309 00:11:25,063 --> 00:11:27,764 but if you think you're gonna make it through a whole weekend 310 00:11:27,766 --> 00:11:31,101 with a bunch of 70-year-olds and not get called an Oriental, 311 00:11:31,103 --> 00:11:32,869 you're out of your ever-loving mind. 312 00:11:33,839 --> 00:11:35,338 Oh! 313 00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:38,041 (sighs) Nope. 314 00:11:38,043 --> 00:11:39,609 But, Father Brah, I've been bouncing 315 00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,244 from girl to girl all year. 316 00:11:41,246 --> 00:11:42,979 I've told everyone in my life, 317 00:11:42,981 --> 00:11:44,480 including my followers on Moviefone, 318 00:11:44,482 --> 00:11:46,916 that Rebecca and I are the real deal. 319 00:11:46,918 --> 00:11:48,384 This relationship has to work out. 320 00:11:48,386 --> 00:11:49,819 It just has to. 321 00:11:49,821 --> 00:11:52,255 Because it's the main thing going on in your life right now? 322 00:11:52,257 --> 00:11:54,124 Yeah, kind of. 323 00:11:54,126 --> 00:11:56,760 Josh, do you think you're defining yourself 324 00:11:56,762 --> 00:11:58,328 through your relationship? 325 00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:01,865 You define yourself by your relationship to Jesus. 326 00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:04,467 Wow, you got me there, man. 327 00:12:04,469 --> 00:12:08,171 Where are you, you little minx? 328 00:12:08,173 --> 00:12:10,273 Brah, I didn't know you were into bird-watching. 329 00:12:10,275 --> 00:12:13,209 Oh, no, I'm not. I, uh, stashed my weed in one of these trees. 330 00:12:13,211 --> 00:12:14,377 Oh. 331 00:12:14,379 --> 00:12:17,113 Yeah, there it is. 332 00:12:23,088 --> 00:12:26,189 Okay, so, if my mom asks, you have no opinion on politics, 333 00:12:26,191 --> 00:12:27,957 I've been using the bath salts she sent me, 334 00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:30,293 and the Garfinkel ring is in the safe deposit box. 335 00:12:30,295 --> 00:12:31,895 What's the Garfinkel ring? 336 00:12:31,997 --> 00:12:33,630 It's a long story; I'll tell you later. 337 00:12:33,632 --> 00:12:35,131 Okay, this is gonna be great. 338 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,699 Because, with you here, I'll be calm. 339 00:12:36,701 --> 00:12:37,901 I love you. 340 00:12:37,903 --> 00:12:39,536 I love you, too. 341 00:12:39,538 --> 00:12:41,704 It's gonna be great. 342 00:12:41,706 --> 00:12:43,073 Oh. 343 00:12:44,176 --> 00:12:45,809 I forgot you were bringing the Oriental. 344 00:12:45,811 --> 00:12:47,644 Mom! 345 00:12:54,979 --> 00:12:57,213 Would you, would you please put on a robe? 346 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,776 I just moisturized. 347 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,479 It has to soak in for an hour or I'm wasting the La Mer. 348 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,713 La Mer's for your face. 349 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,215 I know it's for my face, but for once 350 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:05,550 I'm splurging on myself! 351 00:13:05,556 --> 00:13:09,191 I got you this Hollywood sign magnet from the airport. 352 00:13:11,862 --> 00:13:14,630 - What's with the hair? - Are you gonna say thank you? 353 00:13:14,632 --> 00:13:16,765 Looks stringy. I mean, I know that that's the fashion, 354 00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:18,234 but you look like a wet rescue dog. 355 00:13:18,236 --> 00:13:20,569 Okay, you know what? Maybe we should just stay at a hotel. 356 00:13:20,571 --> 00:13:23,004 - We don't have to stay here. - Oh, please, don't be so dramatic. 357 00:13:23,086 --> 00:13:24,519 You came all this way 358 00:13:24,521 --> 00:13:27,523 to see your facacta cousin fumble through his haftarah. 359 00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:30,759 And, Becky, do you know what Torah portion they gave Skyler? 360 00:13:30,761 --> 00:13:31,860 What? 361 00:13:31,862 --> 00:13:33,662 The one with the menstruation and the lepers. 362 00:13:33,664 --> 00:13:35,697 - (gasps) The one that Cousin Stuey got. - (laughs) 363 00:13:35,699 --> 00:13:37,800 When he talked about his sister's Kotex. 364 00:13:37,802 --> 00:13:40,302 (Rebecca and Naomi laughing) 365 00:13:40,304 --> 00:13:42,771 Uh... 366 00:13:42,773 --> 00:13:45,070 Are you guys not mad at each other anymore? 367 00:13:45,095 --> 00:13:46,375 - No. - Mad? Who's mad? 368 00:13:46,377 --> 00:13:47,576 Is he yelling at me? 369 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,311 No. I'm the one who should be mad 370 00:13:49,313 --> 00:13:51,914 with this hunk of plastic cluttering up my house. 371 00:13:51,916 --> 00:13:54,349 What, you couldn't find a See's Candy 372 00:13:54,351 --> 00:13:56,485 walking through the airport? 373 00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:57,987 I'm sorry, are you talking to me now? 374 00:13:57,989 --> 00:13:59,221 - I'm so confused. - No. 375 00:13:59,223 --> 00:14:00,789 You're confused? I've been confused 376 00:14:00,791 --> 00:14:02,825 ever since this one popped out of my vagina. 377 00:14:02,827 --> 00:14:05,360 Oh, my God, Mom, do not talk about your vagina. 378 00:14:05,362 --> 00:14:06,829 Why? It's perfectly good. 379 00:14:06,831 --> 00:14:09,398 I have had some fabulous reviews lately. 380 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,233 Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, stop it! 381 00:14:11,235 --> 00:14:13,469 - Oh... - All right, listen up, 382 00:14:13,471 --> 00:14:15,137 I'm on a grapefruit diet, but for you, 383 00:14:15,139 --> 00:14:18,207 I put some whitefish salad in the refrigerator. 384 00:14:18,209 --> 00:14:21,343 Becca sometimes likes to eat in the middle of the night, 385 00:14:21,345 --> 00:14:23,312 and that's why her weight fluctuates. 386 00:14:23,314 --> 00:14:24,646 Okay, no, one time, one time, 387 00:14:24,648 --> 00:14:27,182 one time, yes, I ate a whole marble halvah. 388 00:14:27,184 --> 00:14:28,750 That was the night my father left. 389 00:14:28,752 --> 00:14:30,319 It was my party and I was hungry. 390 00:14:30,321 --> 00:14:31,353 You hear the drama? 391 00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:33,188 (mocking): "It was my party, I was hungry, 392 00:14:33,190 --> 00:14:34,623 and my father abandoned me." 393 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,158 Like we all didn't see that coming. 394 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,960 (sets bag down) 395 00:14:37,962 --> 00:14:40,195 Good night. 396 00:14:41,765 --> 00:14:42,798 Mom! 397 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,968 NAOMI: Got to moisturize the rest of me. 398 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,006 What are you working on, Tim? 399 00:14:51,008 --> 00:14:53,542 Uh, nothing. 400 00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:55,777 (whispers) I'm sorry. 401 00:14:58,082 --> 00:15:01,183 Wait, weren't you fired, Jordan? 402 00:15:01,185 --> 00:15:02,484 It's... it is George. 403 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,486 And, uh, Nathaniel hired me back 404 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:05,854 'cause I guess you're shorthanded 405 00:15:05,856 --> 00:15:08,056 and the firm has so much work to do. 406 00:15:08,058 --> 00:15:09,992 Oh, right, yes, that's right. 407 00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:13,562 I do remember that now because that was my idea. 408 00:15:13,654 --> 00:15:15,954 Hey, look at this busy bee. 409 00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:17,255 How's it going, M-Dog? 410 00:15:17,257 --> 00:15:18,790 Oh, pretty good, D-Money. 411 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,860 Hey, I have to cancel Shirley Temples and karaoke tonight. 412 00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:23,161 I'm so slammed. 413 00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:24,263 What? 414 00:15:24,265 --> 00:15:25,364 Well, I can help... 415 00:15:25,366 --> 00:15:27,666 Sorry, I was specifically told 416 00:15:27,668 --> 00:15:29,735 not to let you touch any of the work. 417 00:15:29,737 --> 00:15:31,703 What do you mean? 418 00:15:31,705 --> 00:15:33,038 Wait, what's going on? 419 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,173 - No... told that by whom? - NATHANIEL: Heads up, folks. 420 00:15:35,175 --> 00:15:38,043 I was just into the briefs for the Peterson case. 421 00:15:38,045 --> 00:15:39,344 (with accent): It's Petterson. 422 00:15:39,346 --> 00:15:41,546 It's not. It isn't. 423 00:15:41,548 --> 00:15:44,783 And so sad to say that they're gonna need a major overhaul. 424 00:15:44,785 --> 00:15:47,052 Reason? They're garbage. 425 00:15:47,054 --> 00:15:49,421 I cannot show these to my father, all right? 426 00:15:49,423 --> 00:15:50,956 If he's gonna give us this client, 427 00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,324 we need to step up our game. 428 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,659 Our work needs to be 429 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:57,062 Ivy League, and right now, it's Arizona State. 430 00:15:57,064 --> 00:15:59,164 Go, Sun Devils! 431 00:16:01,468 --> 00:16:06,338 So, we'll all be working on Saturday. 432 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,573 Aw! 433 00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:12,778 (coughs, sniffles) 434 00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:16,581 (all groan) 435 00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:18,383 Oh, now you moan. 436 00:16:18,385 --> 00:16:21,553 I can't work on Saturday; I got the kids alone all day. 437 00:16:21,555 --> 00:16:23,922 I'm supposed to do an escape room with my college roommate. 438 00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:26,224 Some of you may know her, Zosia Mamet? 439 00:16:26,226 --> 00:16:28,660 My adult ceramics class is finally gonna glaze. 440 00:16:28,662 --> 00:16:30,662 - Look, I hear you, Jer. - Wow! 441 00:16:30,664 --> 00:16:33,398 It's George. I literally have the easiest name in the world. 442 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,834 Guys, don't worry. I can handle this. 443 00:16:35,836 --> 00:16:37,135 I still matter here. 444 00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,271 My name's still on the wall. 445 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,611 I am not an emasculated sock puppet! 446 00:16:46,613 --> 00:16:49,214 What? No one called you that. 447 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,450 Where did you even come up with that? 448 00:16:51,452 --> 00:16:54,553 No one said that under their breath? 449 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,754 I'm pretty sure I heard that, 450 00:16:55,756 --> 00:16:57,389 'cause I would not just think that. 451 00:16:58,525 --> 00:17:01,727 We are not working Saturday. 452 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,662 Watch-watch this, guys. 453 00:17:03,664 --> 00:17:04,863 Watch... 454 00:17:04,865 --> 00:17:06,998 this. 455 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,437 No. 456 00:17:15,142 --> 00:17:18,777 He said he'll think about it while we're working on Saturday. 457 00:17:18,779 --> 00:17:20,879 (all groan) 458 00:17:20,881 --> 00:17:25,383 Don't cry, don't cry, you emasculated sock puppet. 459 00:17:25,385 --> 00:17:27,986 God, who said that to me? 460 00:17:27,988 --> 00:17:29,821 Wait. 461 00:17:32,326 --> 00:17:34,559 Where's all the candy? 462 00:17:34,561 --> 00:17:36,628 Um, Jim? 463 00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:38,997 Do you knew where the good snacks are? 464 00:17:38,999 --> 00:17:41,266 Why do we have "pepitas"? 465 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:42,968 ?Que es "pepitas"? 466 00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:44,569 Nathaniel made us throw out the candy. 467 00:17:44,571 --> 00:17:45,604 He what? 468 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,138 Yeah, he said it was disgusting 469 00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:49,941 and impacts productivity and it's a tumor waiting to happen. 470 00:17:52,513 --> 00:17:54,079 (sets jar on counter) 471 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,685 I'm sorry we have to sleep on the sofa. 472 00:18:00,687 --> 00:18:02,587 My mom uses my room to hoard 473 00:18:02,589 --> 00:18:05,390 old issues of Marie Claire magazine. 474 00:18:05,392 --> 00:18:06,691 Oh, she's nuts. 475 00:18:06,693 --> 00:18:08,059 Are you okay? Is this okay? 476 00:18:08,061 --> 00:18:09,728 I'm fine. 477 00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:10,896 Are you? 478 00:18:10,898 --> 00:18:12,631 I mean, she seems to rattle you. 479 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,966 Yeah, you know, normally she would, 480 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,202 but you're here, so it's helping. 481 00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,371 NAOMI (in distance): Don't touch the air conditioning! 482 00:18:19,373 --> 00:18:21,072 I sweat like a pig! 483 00:18:21,074 --> 00:18:23,408 It's like the frozen tundra in here! 484 00:18:23,410 --> 00:18:24,576 Whoa. 485 00:18:24,578 --> 00:18:26,244 I'm sor... I'm sorry. 486 00:18:26,246 --> 00:18:27,445 Um, it's just, uh, 487 00:18:27,447 --> 00:18:30,782 this place has a slight negative energy for me. 488 00:18:30,784 --> 00:18:32,551 Yeah, yeah, bad stuff has happened. 489 00:18:32,553 --> 00:18:33,985 Like, you see that end table? 490 00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:35,821 I used to hide under it when I was little 491 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,290 and compulsively scratch grooves into the inside leg. 492 00:18:38,292 --> 00:18:41,459 Yeah. I was a strong, feral little girl. 493 00:18:41,461 --> 00:18:43,428 That sounds terrible. 494 00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:44,462 Yep. 495 00:18:44,464 --> 00:18:46,865 Yep, wasn't great. Was not great. 496 00:18:46,867 --> 00:18:50,035 But now we can make good memories. 497 00:18:50,037 --> 00:18:53,471 You know, we can pave over the pain and the suffering. 498 00:18:53,473 --> 00:18:57,175 I want to do that for you. I want to help you with that. 499 00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:59,344 Oh, you're the sweetest. 500 00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,813 (moans) 501 00:19:02,783 --> 00:19:04,883 Uh, your mom is right upstairs, Becks. 502 00:19:04,885 --> 00:19:06,484 Oh, no, no, no, she sleeps like a rock. 503 00:19:06,486 --> 00:19:08,720 Yeah, glass of wine, sleeping pill, 504 00:19:08,722 --> 00:19:11,389 Billy Crystal's autobiography splayed across her chest. 505 00:19:11,391 --> 00:19:12,858 Boom, down for the count. 506 00:19:14,428 --> 00:19:15,961 Now, come on. 507 00:19:15,963 --> 00:19:19,364 I am ready to turn my childhood trauma into a kink. 508 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,932 (chuckles): I don't know. 509 00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:22,767 (both moaning) 510 00:19:27,808 --> 00:19:29,774 NAOMI: I was afraid that you might run out, 511 00:19:29,776 --> 00:19:32,510 so I looked and I found some extra whitefish in the freezer, 512 00:19:32,512 --> 00:19:34,246 but I don't know how to thaw this thing. 513 00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:36,348 Oh, please, don't stop on my account. 514 00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:37,916 Go ahead, get back in there. 515 00:19:37,918 --> 00:19:39,050 Get back in there. 516 00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:41,486 I've seen worse from this one. 517 00:19:41,488 --> 00:19:43,755 I will never forget that crime scene I walked in on 518 00:19:43,757 --> 00:19:47,959 between you and Isaac Berger of the Model UN. 519 00:19:47,961 --> 00:19:49,127 They were having... 520 00:19:49,129 --> 00:19:52,230 Period sex, period sex 521 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,798 Put down a towel... 522 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,533 Mom! Oh, my God! 523 00:19:55,535 --> 00:19:59,137 Just stop ruining this like you ruin everything! 524 00:19:59,139 --> 00:20:01,773 Hey, don't yell at me in front of the Oriental. 525 00:20:01,775 --> 00:20:03,275 They're a very peaceful people. 526 00:20:03,277 --> 00:20:04,943 Oh, my God, you are so offensive. 527 00:20:04,945 --> 00:20:06,778 Okay, y-you know what, Mrs. Bunch? 528 00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:08,747 L-Let me help thaw the fish. 529 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:09,814 I'm really good at it. 530 00:20:09,816 --> 00:20:11,850 My mom buys fish sticks in bulk. 531 00:20:11,852 --> 00:20:13,919 Why don't you and I go into the kitchen? 532 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,720 Finally someone who's actually 533 00:20:15,722 --> 00:20:17,489 offering to help out around here. 534 00:20:17,491 --> 00:20:21,626 Finally someone is not completely selfish. 535 00:20:21,628 --> 00:20:23,628 Oh, oh, oh, I'm selfish. 536 00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:26,665 I mean, when those fish sticks come out of the oven... 537 00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,233 (laughs) 538 00:20:28,235 --> 00:20:30,168 Come on, then. Put your pickle in your pants, 539 00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:32,203 and let's thaw some fish. (clucks tongue) 540 00:20:33,740 --> 00:20:35,440 (whispering) I got this. 541 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:36,942 Get some sleep, okay? 542 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,077 Just... be careful. 543 00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:40,111 I love you. 544 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,880 I love you. 545 00:20:45,652 --> 00:20:47,252 - (Josh laughs) - NAOMI: What a great job. 546 00:20:47,254 --> 00:20:49,754 The way you flipped it over after you soaked it in the eggs. 547 00:20:49,856 --> 00:20:50,989 - Oh. - I was very impressed. 548 00:20:50,991 --> 00:20:52,090 Ah... (chuckles) 549 00:20:52,092 --> 00:20:54,293 Mm, mm. What's going on? 550 00:20:54,395 --> 00:20:56,661 Oh, your mom taught me how to make "holla" French toast. 551 00:20:56,663 --> 00:20:58,063 No, no, no, "challah," Josh. 552 00:20:58,065 --> 00:21:00,131 Ch, ch, ch. 553 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,333 Ch, ch. Holla, holla, holl... 554 00:21:01,335 --> 00:21:02,634 I got to keep working on it. 555 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:03,868 You're gonna get it, bubbeleh. 556 00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:05,070 - You're gonna get it. - Mm. 557 00:21:05,072 --> 00:21:06,471 He's never gonna get it. 558 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:08,473 Why would he? He's a Pacific Islander. 559 00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:10,308 Wow, what happened to calling him an Oriental? 560 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,444 Rebecca, that term is considered antiquated, 561 00:21:12,446 --> 00:21:14,212 Euro-centric and inherently xenophobic. 562 00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:15,981 Yeah, we Googled it. 563 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:18,617 I knew it was racist, I just didn't know why. 564 00:21:19,419 --> 00:21:20,585 So get woke, Becks. 565 00:21:20,587 --> 00:21:22,821 - Oh! Yeah! - Yay! 566 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,189 I love this woman! (laughs) 567 00:21:24,191 --> 00:21:25,957 He's adorable. He's adorable. 568 00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:28,326 - He's so adorable. - I love her. 569 00:21:33,013 --> 00:21:34,746 570 00:21:41,027 --> 00:21:43,694 Joshua, as soon as they open the stations, 571 00:21:43,696 --> 00:21:45,730 we better be first in line, because rumor has it 572 00:21:45,732 --> 00:21:48,265 that Ellen has only sprung for a one-hour buffet. 573 00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:49,333 Can you believe that? 574 00:21:49,335 --> 00:21:50,501 I can't. 575 00:21:50,503 --> 00:21:51,902 Well, she's having money troubles. 576 00:21:51,904 --> 00:21:53,037 And her mother has cancer, 577 00:21:53,039 --> 00:21:55,406 and the youngest daughter wants to be a man, 578 00:21:55,408 --> 00:21:58,142 and the husband is having an affair with a goy. 579 00:21:58,144 --> 00:21:59,310 - Oh, my God. - Sorry. 580 00:21:59,312 --> 00:22:00,878 No offense. 581 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,747 - (laughs) - No. No. 582 00:22:02,749 --> 00:22:04,949 You don't have to laugh at that; that's very offensive. 583 00:22:04,951 --> 00:22:06,117 Oh, Becca. 584 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,119 Excuse me, I'm gonna go get some dumplings. 585 00:22:08,121 --> 00:22:09,653 My blood sugar, it's in the toilet, 586 00:22:09,655 --> 00:22:11,822 which is where those dumplings are gonna be. 587 00:22:11,824 --> 00:22:13,457 (both laugh) Eventually. 588 00:22:13,459 --> 00:22:16,060 Well, they sit there like rocks. 589 00:22:18,164 --> 00:22:19,230 (laughs) 590 00:22:19,232 --> 00:22:21,032 Listen, I appreciate you trying to win her over, 591 00:22:21,034 --> 00:22:22,800 but you don't have to keep pretending to like her. 592 00:22:22,802 --> 00:22:24,835 Oh, I'm not pretending. I do like her. 593 00:22:24,837 --> 00:22:26,704 In my family, we don't talk about poop. 594 00:22:26,706 --> 00:22:29,673 I had to learn about it by watching an episode of 90210. 595 00:22:29,675 --> 00:22:30,775 She's awesome. 596 00:22:30,777 --> 00:22:32,610 Okay. 597 00:22:32,612 --> 00:22:36,013 Ooh! Um, should we take a selfie with our matching little hats? 598 00:22:36,015 --> 00:22:38,249 #HebrewBeaniesForLife! 599 00:22:38,251 --> 00:22:40,484 Uh, no, they're called kippahs. 600 00:22:40,486 --> 00:22:44,055 Oh, okay, so #KippahingItReal! 601 00:22:44,057 --> 00:22:46,991 Um, no, you just do it. I'm not... sorry. 602 00:22:46,993 --> 00:22:48,125 I'm not feeling it. 603 00:22:48,127 --> 00:22:49,593 Why you in a bad mood, Becks? 604 00:22:49,595 --> 00:22:51,462 Just because, I don't know, I mean... 605 00:22:51,464 --> 00:22:52,630 RABBI SHARI: Rebecca! 606 00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:54,732 Welcome back. 607 00:22:54,734 --> 00:22:56,133 Hello, Rabbi Shari. 608 00:22:56,135 --> 00:22:58,169 How are you, my darling? 609 00:22:58,171 --> 00:23:00,137 How is California? 610 00:23:00,139 --> 00:23:01,772 Have you found a temple out there yet? 611 00:23:01,774 --> 00:23:04,241 Well, I don't believe in God, so no, 612 00:23:04,243 --> 00:23:06,077 it didn't make my to-do list. 613 00:23:06,079 --> 00:23:07,845 Always questioning. 614 00:23:07,847 --> 00:23:10,815 That is the true spirit of the Jewish people. 615 00:23:10,817 --> 00:23:13,417 Very good. 616 00:23:13,419 --> 00:23:15,453 (chuckles) 617 00:23:15,455 --> 00:23:16,687 She seems nice. 618 00:23:16,689 --> 00:23:18,889 She's not nice, she's a programmed robot 619 00:23:18,891 --> 00:23:21,258 who's trying to incept God into me all the time. 620 00:23:21,260 --> 00:23:24,361 Whoa. I didn't know that, and I know a ton about robots. 621 00:23:24,363 --> 00:23:25,629 (sighs) I know. 622 00:23:25,631 --> 00:23:27,565 I know, it's just you see the good in everything, 623 00:23:27,567 --> 00:23:31,001 which is just so, so sweet, so... 624 00:23:31,003 --> 00:23:33,037 So... Oh, no. Oh, boy. 625 00:23:33,039 --> 00:23:34,705 - Wait, what is it? - Look who it is. 626 00:23:34,707 --> 00:23:36,640 - Well, well, well. - (sighs) 627 00:23:36,642 --> 00:23:38,809 Rebecca Nora Bunch. 628 00:23:38,811 --> 00:23:40,845 Audra Esther Levine. 629 00:23:40,847 --> 00:23:42,646 Joshua Felix Chan. 630 00:23:42,648 --> 00:23:45,616 This is my husband, David. 631 00:23:45,618 --> 00:23:47,418 (sighs) Yes. Hi, we've met. 632 00:23:47,420 --> 00:23:48,953 How you doing, Rebecca? 633 00:23:48,955 --> 00:23:51,088 You guys know each other? 634 00:23:51,090 --> 00:23:52,123 Yep. 635 00:23:52,125 --> 00:23:54,758 Finished quick, rotten lay. 636 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,093 We both heard that! 637 00:23:56,095 --> 00:23:58,028 Rebecca, hey, come on. 638 00:23:58,030 --> 00:23:59,296 That's not nice. 639 00:23:59,298 --> 00:24:01,065 Nice to meet you, man. I'm Josh. 640 00:24:01,067 --> 00:24:02,433 And, hey, you know what they say. 641 00:24:02,435 --> 00:24:03,968 It's not how long you last, 642 00:24:03,970 --> 00:24:05,336 it's how big your penis is. 643 00:24:05,338 --> 00:24:07,204 - (laughs) - Ah! 644 00:24:09,308 --> 00:24:10,608 Well... 645 00:24:11,644 --> 00:24:12,977 I see you two have really been 646 00:24:12,979 --> 00:24:14,345 hitting the social media hard. 647 00:24:14,347 --> 00:24:16,347 You know you don't have to post every photo, right? 648 00:24:16,349 --> 00:24:17,748 So funny that you say that, because 649 00:24:17,750 --> 00:24:19,517 I seem to remember your engagement photos 650 00:24:19,519 --> 00:24:21,152 clogging up my feed for weeks. 651 00:24:21,154 --> 00:24:22,453 I mean, it is so crazy 652 00:24:22,455 --> 00:24:24,188 that a photographer happened to be there 653 00:24:24,190 --> 00:24:25,456 when David gave you that ring 654 00:24:25,458 --> 00:24:27,124 on that turn-of-the-century Ferris wheel. 655 00:24:27,126 --> 00:24:29,560 At least I'm married and not living in California, 656 00:24:29,562 --> 00:24:31,595 - having a nervous breakdown. - (chuckles): Oh. 657 00:24:31,597 --> 00:24:33,797 Right, hey, remember when I had sex with your husband? 658 00:24:33,799 --> 00:24:35,433 Yeah, as he finished, he called me "Mom." 659 00:24:35,435 --> 00:24:36,934 Have fun unpacking that. Mazel tov. 660 00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:37,966 Hey, Josh! 661 00:24:37,966 --> 00:24:38,999 David! 662 00:24:39,005 --> 00:24:40,704 His solo's coming up! 663 00:24:40,706 --> 00:24:42,106 (electric guitar playing) 664 00:24:43,709 --> 00:24:46,177 (laughs) This guy is the best! 665 00:24:46,179 --> 00:24:48,546 Turns out we both love Dave Matthews Band! 666 00:24:49,849 --> 00:24:51,282 We should all go skiing in Mammoth! 667 00:24:51,284 --> 00:24:52,449 - Totally. - This December? 668 00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:53,450 Done! 669 00:24:53,452 --> 00:24:54,485 - Yes! - Yes! 670 00:24:54,487 --> 00:24:56,620 (Josh imitating guitar) 671 00:24:56,622 --> 00:24:57,988 You're still a bitch. 672 00:24:57,990 --> 00:24:59,590 So are you. 673 00:24:59,592 --> 00:25:01,125 Ah, it's not as fun now. 674 00:25:01,127 --> 00:25:03,160 No, it's not. 675 00:25:08,401 --> 00:25:09,567 Paula! 676 00:25:10,469 --> 00:25:12,503 Paula! 677 00:25:12,505 --> 00:25:13,671 Shh! 678 00:25:17,210 --> 00:25:18,442 Skittle me this: 679 00:25:18,444 --> 00:25:20,878 What is a way to get back at a sugar dictator, hmm? 680 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,980 You're-you're freaking me out a little bit. 681 00:25:22,982 --> 00:25:24,748 Oh. Okay. 682 00:25:24,750 --> 00:25:26,817 Hey, you know what? I'm starting to think that maybe 683 00:25:26,819 --> 00:25:28,652 this whole thing is not actually about candy. 684 00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:30,519 You're right! It's about freedom. 685 00:25:30,523 --> 00:25:32,890 Oh, God, Darryl, would you get real? 686 00:25:32,892 --> 00:25:35,492 You regret selling the firm to Nathaniel, which you should. 687 00:25:35,494 --> 00:25:37,995 It was a dumb move and he's a jerk. 688 00:25:37,997 --> 00:25:40,864 But you did it, and now you got to live with it. 689 00:25:40,866 --> 00:25:43,867 Seriously, you got to calm down. 690 00:25:43,869 --> 00:25:45,536 Your eyes are just... They're vibrating. 691 00:25:45,538 --> 00:25:48,205 (whispers) Do you have any aspirin? 692 00:25:48,207 --> 00:25:50,374 And bam, that's how you do selfies, you guys. 693 00:25:50,376 --> 00:25:51,809 That's masterful work right there. 694 00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:54,545 Hi. Cousin Rifka, thank you. Hi. 695 00:25:54,547 --> 00:25:56,981 Hey, there you are. You want to do a photo? 696 00:25:56,983 --> 00:25:59,550 You want a boa? An old-timey hat? 697 00:25:59,552 --> 00:26:01,619 A mustache stick? 698 00:26:01,621 --> 00:26:03,621 - I'm... I'm really good. - (sighs) 699 00:26:03,623 --> 00:26:05,489 But they will tweet, Facebook, Instagram 700 00:26:05,491 --> 00:26:07,391 and Snapchat your photo automatically. 701 00:26:07,393 --> 00:26:09,560 Josh, I can't do this anymore. 702 00:26:09,562 --> 00:26:11,629 What do you mean? 703 00:26:11,631 --> 00:26:15,633 It's just, you're not supposed to be having this much fun. 704 00:26:15,635 --> 00:26:19,336 Come... well, uh, I thought you wanted me to pave things over. 705 00:26:19,338 --> 00:26:21,772 I know. I know I said that, but what I... I don't know... 706 00:26:21,774 --> 00:26:24,742 What I think I wanted was just for you and I to sit in a corner 707 00:26:24,744 --> 00:26:28,145 and laugh about how miserable and terrible everyone is. 708 00:26:28,147 --> 00:26:30,715 But they're not miserable. They're... 709 00:26:30,817 --> 00:26:31,916 having fun. 710 00:26:31,918 --> 00:26:34,051 No, they're not having fun. They don't know how to have fun. 711 00:26:34,053 --> 00:26:35,519 Okay, listen, you don't understand. 712 00:26:35,521 --> 00:26:38,555 Okay, you are, forgive me, a non-Jew from the West Coast. 713 00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:39,957 Let me explain how it goes. 714 00:26:39,959 --> 00:26:41,558 East Coast: dark, sad. 715 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:42,993 West Coast: light, happy. 716 00:26:42,995 --> 00:26:44,662 All right, these people... 717 00:26:44,664 --> 00:26:47,164 They don't understand what fun is. Trust me. 718 00:26:47,166 --> 00:26:48,565 RABBI SHARI: All right, everyone, 719 00:26:48,567 --> 00:26:52,102 in honor of the bar mitzvah boy, a horah! 720 00:26:52,104 --> 00:26:53,203 (applause) 721 00:26:53,205 --> 00:26:54,271 Yeah, b-but it looks like 722 00:26:54,273 --> 00:26:56,006 they're about to do some kind of fun dance. 723 00:26:56,008 --> 00:26:57,675 Case in point, perfect example. 724 00:26:57,677 --> 00:26:59,143 Okay, do you remember the ceremony? 725 00:26:59,145 --> 00:27:01,145 They made a 13-year-old boy say the Kaddish. 726 00:27:01,147 --> 00:27:03,247 That's a prayer for the dead. 727 00:27:03,249 --> 00:27:06,150 Okay, people like us only know how to be miserable. 728 00:27:06,152 --> 00:27:07,217 What do you mean? 729 00:27:07,219 --> 00:27:09,153 No, listen, Josh. 730 00:27:09,155 --> 00:27:11,889 It sounds like one thing, but means another. 731 00:27:11,891 --> 00:27:14,758 (sighs) 732 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,895 (klezmer music playing) 733 00:27:20,733 --> 00:27:23,000 Now it's time to celebrate 734 00:27:23,002 --> 00:27:24,735 Grab a drink and fix a plate 735 00:27:24,737 --> 00:27:26,303 But before you feel too great 736 00:27:26,305 --> 00:27:27,604 Remember that we suffered 737 00:27:27,606 --> 00:27:29,773 Nights like these are filled with glee 738 00:27:29,775 --> 00:27:31,008 Noshing, dancing, singing 739 00:27:31,010 --> 00:27:33,077 Whee! But we sing in a minor key 740 00:27:33,079 --> 00:27:34,411 To remember that we suffered 741 00:27:34,413 --> 00:27:36,280 Being happy is selfish 742 00:27:36,282 --> 00:27:37,781 Remember that we suffered 743 00:27:37,783 --> 00:27:39,516 You have no idea what pain is 744 00:27:39,518 --> 00:27:41,885 Remember that we suffered, hey! 745 00:27:44,190 --> 00:27:46,757 I mean, would it be such a crime 746 00:27:46,759 --> 00:27:48,225 For the Beastie Boys or Haim 747 00:27:48,227 --> 00:27:49,960 To mention in their songs one time 748 00:27:49,962 --> 00:27:51,562 Remember that we suffered? 749 00:27:51,564 --> 00:27:53,230 I don't want to bring up the Holocaust 750 00:27:53,232 --> 00:27:55,032 I know, I know, the Holocaust 751 00:27:55,034 --> 00:27:56,800 But the Holocaust was a really big deal 752 00:27:56,802 --> 00:27:58,602 Remember that we suffered 753 00:27:58,604 --> 00:28:00,070 This DJ is terrific 754 00:28:00,072 --> 00:28:01,505 Remember that we suffered 755 00:28:01,507 --> 00:28:03,440 My grandma is a survivor. 756 00:28:03,442 --> 00:28:05,376 Remember that she suffered 757 00:28:05,378 --> 00:28:08,546 (vocalizing) Ah... 758 00:28:11,551 --> 00:28:12,583 (gasps) 759 00:28:12,585 --> 00:28:15,953 (vocalizing) Ah... 760 00:28:18,424 --> 00:28:20,257 The sweet and the bitter 761 00:28:20,259 --> 00:28:22,159 Remember that we suffered 762 00:28:22,161 --> 00:28:23,327 Streisand and Hitler 763 00:28:23,329 --> 00:28:25,262 Remember that we suffered 764 00:28:25,264 --> 00:28:27,164 Spielberg and Hitler 765 00:28:27,166 --> 00:28:28,966 Remember that we suffered 766 00:28:28,968 --> 00:28:30,234 Have me mentioned Hitler? 767 00:28:30,236 --> 00:28:32,236 I'm just saying that we suffered 768 00:28:32,238 --> 00:28:34,271 - When I say "we," you say "suffered." - We! 769 00:28:34,273 --> 00:28:35,372 - Suffered! - We! 770 00:28:35,374 --> 00:28:37,341 - Suffered! - I can't hear you! 771 00:28:37,343 --> 00:28:38,709 Remember that we suffered 772 00:28:38,711 --> 00:28:39,943 Hey! 773 00:28:39,945 --> 00:28:42,546 (applause) 774 00:28:43,716 --> 00:28:46,049 Okay, so, huh? See what I mean? 775 00:28:46,051 --> 00:28:47,451 I don't know, Rebecca. 776 00:28:47,453 --> 00:28:49,855 It seems like the only person who's miserable here is you. 777 00:29:04,501 --> 00:29:06,534 (Darryl laughing) 778 00:29:07,814 --> 00:29:09,113 What the hell? 779 00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:11,215 (snickers) 780 00:29:11,217 --> 00:29:13,217 - Darryl? - Hmm? 781 00:29:13,219 --> 00:29:15,987 I can see you. There's slats here. 782 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,334 Have you ever hidden before? Do you know what hiding is? 783 00:29:19,336 --> 00:29:21,002 If you stocked this cabinet 784 00:29:21,004 --> 00:29:23,171 with candy when you knew I had it removed, 785 00:29:23,173 --> 00:29:26,708 that's gonna be a very big problem for us. 786 00:29:26,710 --> 00:29:27,809 Hmm? 787 00:29:27,811 --> 00:29:29,477 Tell me you didn't do this, Darryl. 788 00:29:32,148 --> 00:29:33,348 Tell me the truth. 789 00:29:33,350 --> 00:29:35,817 You want to know the truth? 790 00:29:35,819 --> 00:29:38,419 Oh, I'll tell you truth. The truth is... 791 00:29:38,421 --> 00:29:39,888 I did it! 792 00:29:41,858 --> 00:29:43,291 It was me. 793 00:29:43,293 --> 00:29:45,660 I got the Snickers. 794 00:29:47,397 --> 00:29:50,164 And I got the Skittles. 795 00:29:52,202 --> 00:29:54,903 I got the Milk Duds. 796 00:29:54,905 --> 00:29:57,038 I got the Toblerone. 797 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,941 And I brought gummy vitamins. 798 00:29:59,943 --> 00:30:01,543 (all groan) 799 00:30:01,745 --> 00:30:05,246 You... can take our candy... 800 00:30:05,248 --> 00:30:07,415 but you can never... 801 00:30:07,417 --> 00:30:10,918 take our candy! 802 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,520 What do you have to say to that? 803 00:30:12,522 --> 00:30:15,590 Well, I say you're all a bunch of children. 804 00:30:15,592 --> 00:30:17,892 Now go back to work! 805 00:30:20,029 --> 00:30:21,195 Got it. 806 00:30:21,197 --> 00:30:22,797 (sighs) 807 00:30:25,168 --> 00:30:26,868 Rebecca. 808 00:30:26,870 --> 00:30:28,469 What are you doing sitting by yourself? 809 00:30:28,471 --> 00:30:30,171 Are you not having fun? 810 00:30:30,173 --> 00:30:31,973 No, I'm not having fun. 811 00:30:31,975 --> 00:30:33,174 My boyfriend is, though. 812 00:30:33,176 --> 00:30:34,976 Yeah, yeah, he's making everyone really happy. 813 00:30:34,978 --> 00:30:36,177 He loves it here. 814 00:30:36,179 --> 00:30:38,012 And that's not what you wanted? 815 00:30:38,014 --> 00:30:39,047 No! 816 00:30:40,216 --> 00:30:42,250 I wanted him to see how unhappy everything makes me 817 00:30:42,352 --> 00:30:45,052 and that I'm right and that everyone here is miserable. 818 00:30:45,054 --> 00:30:47,021 Why is everyone here miserable? 819 00:30:47,023 --> 00:30:49,590 Um, I don't know, maybe because Jewish people's DNA 820 00:30:49,592 --> 00:30:52,326 is literally imprinted with our past trauma. 821 00:30:52,328 --> 00:30:54,962 It's something called epigenetics; look it up. 822 00:30:54,964 --> 00:30:56,264 Hey, don't be condescending. 823 00:30:56,266 --> 00:30:58,633 You think you're the only person who reads Tablet Magazine 824 00:30:58,633 --> 00:30:59,732 on Twitter? 825 00:30:59,732 --> 00:31:02,032 Rebecca, 826 00:31:02,038 --> 00:31:05,740 a people is not responsible for your life, you are. 827 00:31:07,577 --> 00:31:09,811 Maybe. 828 00:31:09,813 --> 00:31:11,479 I don't know, I just... 829 00:31:11,481 --> 00:31:13,381 I hate it here, I hate all this stuff. 830 00:31:13,383 --> 00:31:17,785 Ah, well, this stuff, this town, these people... 831 00:31:17,787 --> 00:31:19,086 They're you. 832 00:31:19,088 --> 00:31:21,622 And if you hate that stuff, you hate yourself. 833 00:31:21,624 --> 00:31:23,257 Oy, here you go. 834 00:31:23,259 --> 00:31:24,659 And if you hate yourself, 835 00:31:24,661 --> 00:31:27,228 it doesn't matter how great your boyfriend is, 836 00:31:27,230 --> 00:31:29,797 you'll always be unhappy. 837 00:31:31,835 --> 00:31:34,068 But I thought that when you loved someone, 838 00:31:34,070 --> 00:31:37,939 it just fixed everything and made your life great. 839 00:31:37,941 --> 00:31:40,374 That's... that's a lot to put on a human being. 840 00:31:40,376 --> 00:31:43,477 Yeah, but he's not a human being, he's Josh Chan. 841 00:31:44,981 --> 00:31:47,181 When we were kids, he made me feel so happy. 842 00:31:47,183 --> 00:31:49,984 And... I guess I just thought 843 00:31:49,986 --> 00:31:52,753 that if I could get back to that place, 844 00:31:52,755 --> 00:31:56,858 that my life would magically be okay. 845 00:31:56,860 --> 00:32:00,528 That's not love, my dear. It's fantasy. It's not real. 846 00:32:08,204 --> 00:32:10,872 Um, your father's on line one. 847 00:32:10,874 --> 00:32:12,607 Close the door. 848 00:32:12,609 --> 00:32:14,408 - (door closes) - (breathes deeply) 849 00:32:14,410 --> 00:32:17,111 Pops! Papa! 850 00:32:17,113 --> 00:32:20,615 Papa Doodle Doo. What's the word? 851 00:32:20,617 --> 00:32:22,984 We're all gearing up to get going on Peterson, 852 00:32:22,986 --> 00:32:27,555 so once we lock them in, we can hit the ground running. 853 00:32:27,557 --> 00:32:30,157 Uh-huh. 854 00:32:30,159 --> 00:32:32,526 Uh-huh, uh-huh, yep, yep, yeah. 855 00:32:32,528 --> 00:32:34,729 Yeah, yeah. Okay, so that's a no. 856 00:32:34,731 --> 00:32:36,063 That's fine. I hear you. Yeah. 857 00:32:36,065 --> 00:32:38,666 I know. You got to earn it. Nothing gets handed to you. 858 00:32:38,668 --> 00:32:40,902 I love that. That's how we do. 859 00:32:40,904 --> 00:32:43,304 "Once you stop improving, you start losing." 860 00:32:43,306 --> 00:32:45,840 I know. I hear you, sir. I love that saying. 861 00:32:45,842 --> 00:32:48,342 Mm-hmm. Okay. Bye-bye. 862 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,313 (sighs) 863 00:32:52,315 --> 00:32:54,849 That's it, I've had it. I can't take it anymore. 864 00:32:54,851 --> 00:32:57,051 I'm responsible for that jerk being in our office, 865 00:32:57,053 --> 00:32:59,453 so I should be the one to stand up to him. 866 00:32:59,455 --> 00:33:01,155 (exhales sharply) 867 00:33:03,092 --> 00:33:05,393 (treadmill whirring) 868 00:33:05,395 --> 00:33:07,194 (Nathaniel grunting, panting) 869 00:33:09,966 --> 00:33:11,132 What's going on? 870 00:33:11,134 --> 00:33:12,900 Got to burn the calories. 871 00:33:12,902 --> 00:33:14,735 Got to work hard. 872 00:33:14,737 --> 00:33:18,105 I had a brief lapse of judgment with that stupid candy! 873 00:33:18,107 --> 00:33:20,007 But it's okay. I'll just burn it off. 874 00:33:20,009 --> 00:33:23,077 I got to burn the mistakes. I mean, burn the calories. 875 00:33:23,079 --> 00:33:27,181 Always improving, never a loser. Always improving, never a loser. 876 00:33:27,183 --> 00:33:28,516 (beeping) 877 00:33:28,718 --> 00:33:31,318 Oh, no, no, no. Wait a minute! I don't think that's safe! Oh, oh! 878 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,020 Oh! 879 00:33:33,022 --> 00:33:34,788 Nathaniel, are you okay? 880 00:33:34,790 --> 00:33:37,291 (panting) 881 00:33:37,293 --> 00:33:39,427 I'm so sad. 882 00:33:40,527 --> 00:33:41,627 (sobs) 883 00:33:51,156 --> 00:33:53,024 Are you okay? 884 00:33:53,670 --> 00:33:55,169 Yeah, I'm fine. 885 00:33:55,171 --> 00:33:57,805 They gave me a temporary tooth. 886 00:33:57,807 --> 00:34:00,141 (sniffles) 887 00:34:00,143 --> 00:34:01,976 I'm sorry you had to see that, Darryl. 888 00:34:01,978 --> 00:34:04,912 That was not professional. 889 00:34:04,914 --> 00:34:07,448 You know, it's okay to be upset. 890 00:34:07,450 --> 00:34:09,717 No, it's not. It's weak. 891 00:34:11,454 --> 00:34:14,922 Does this have something to do with your dad? 892 00:34:14,924 --> 00:34:16,624 Did he not give you the account? 893 00:34:17,727 --> 00:34:19,660 Oh. 894 00:34:19,662 --> 00:34:21,662 You know, my dad is a real jerk, too. 895 00:34:21,664 --> 00:34:24,165 Oh. He used to yell at me all the time. 896 00:34:24,167 --> 00:34:26,901 He used to call me an emasculated sock puppet. 897 00:34:26,903 --> 00:34:29,971 Oh. That's where that's from. 898 00:34:29,973 --> 00:34:32,006 I'm gonna bury that again. 899 00:34:32,008 --> 00:34:33,474 Hold on. 900 00:34:35,478 --> 00:34:36,611 Done. 901 00:34:36,713 --> 00:34:37,812 Ha! 902 00:34:37,814 --> 00:34:39,614 Hey, you know what? 903 00:34:39,616 --> 00:34:42,283 You're doing really well, Nathaniel. 904 00:34:42,285 --> 00:34:45,253 No, I see how hard you work, how talented you are, 905 00:34:45,255 --> 00:34:47,155 how little food you eat. 906 00:34:47,157 --> 00:34:49,223 You're a very disciplined young man, 907 00:34:49,225 --> 00:34:51,893 and you don't need your dad to tell you that. 908 00:34:51,895 --> 00:34:55,763 You have to know that for yourself. 909 00:34:58,435 --> 00:35:01,335 I've been kind of a jerk to you, Darryl. 910 00:35:01,337 --> 00:35:02,937 And I'm gonna pay 911 00:35:02,939 --> 00:35:05,206 to have the tooth blood cleaned out of your car. 912 00:35:05,208 --> 00:35:08,042 Well, thank you. 913 00:35:08,044 --> 00:35:09,844 You're a good kid. 914 00:35:09,846 --> 00:35:11,979 Apology accepted. 915 00:35:11,981 --> 00:35:13,481 Well, I didn't apologize. 916 00:35:13,483 --> 00:35:15,016 (clears throat) Well, you kind of did. 917 00:35:15,018 --> 00:35:16,484 I mean, basically you did. 918 00:35:16,486 --> 00:35:18,119 Nope. Never happened. 919 00:35:24,761 --> 00:35:28,095 Babe, I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted. 920 00:35:28,097 --> 00:35:30,932 I was trying really hard, but I feel like you wanted 921 00:35:30,934 --> 00:35:33,668 something from me and I didn't give it to you. 922 00:35:33,670 --> 00:35:36,137 No, you were fine. It's-it's honestly all fine. 923 00:35:36,139 --> 00:35:38,606 Let's just go home. 924 00:35:38,608 --> 00:35:40,041 Are you mad at me? 925 00:35:40,043 --> 00:35:42,977 No. No, not mad. I just don't want to talk about it. 926 00:35:42,979 --> 00:35:45,546 Um... left something in the bathroom. 927 00:35:45,548 --> 00:35:47,148 I got to go. I'll be right back. 928 00:35:47,150 --> 00:35:48,749 Ooh. End of trip selfie? 929 00:35:48,751 --> 00:35:51,586 #ShalomMeansBothHelloAndGoodbye. 930 00:35:51,588 --> 00:35:53,654 No. I'm-I'm good, thanks. 931 00:35:57,994 --> 00:35:59,527 NAOMI: I'm gonna wrap this lox up 932 00:35:59,529 --> 00:36:01,262 so you have something to eat on the plane. 933 00:36:01,264 --> 00:36:03,498 Now, I know it may not be enough, 934 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:06,467 but those nitwits at the deli were running short, and I... 935 00:36:06,469 --> 00:36:07,969 Josh. 936 00:36:07,971 --> 00:36:09,904 - Huh? What? - What... ? 937 00:36:09,906 --> 00:36:11,639 What's wrong? 938 00:36:11,641 --> 00:36:13,741 Ah, it's just... 939 00:36:16,679 --> 00:36:18,579 Rebecca seems like she's mad at me. 940 00:36:18,581 --> 00:36:20,147 And I wanted this weekend 941 00:36:20,149 --> 00:36:24,051 to bring us together, but it feels like she's pulling away. 942 00:36:24,053 --> 00:36:27,088 And you have no idea how much this relationship means to me. 943 00:36:27,090 --> 00:36:28,856 I told everyone about it. 944 00:36:28,858 --> 00:36:30,591 It can't fall apart now. 945 00:36:30,593 --> 00:36:32,159 Well, it won't. 946 00:36:32,161 --> 00:36:33,828 Because I won't let that happen. 947 00:36:33,830 --> 00:36:35,196 You won't? 948 00:36:35,198 --> 00:36:37,098 No. I actually think you and Rebecca 949 00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:39,967 are pretty wonderful together. 950 00:36:39,969 --> 00:36:43,371 You soften some of her sharp edges, thank God. 951 00:36:43,373 --> 00:36:44,772 (chuckles) 952 00:36:44,774 --> 00:36:47,074 Wow. Thanks, Naomi. 953 00:36:47,076 --> 00:36:49,043 That's nice of you to say. 954 00:36:49,045 --> 00:36:51,178 But what do I do now? 955 00:36:51,180 --> 00:36:53,915 Joshua, I am your Jewish mother now, 956 00:36:53,917 --> 00:36:57,118 and there are two things I will always have: 957 00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,220 indigestion and all the answers. 958 00:36:59,222 --> 00:37:00,588 (chuckles softly) 959 00:37:00,590 --> 00:37:03,224 So just listen to me, and do exactly as I say. 960 00:37:15,804 --> 00:37:17,871 You know what? 961 00:37:17,873 --> 00:37:19,906 - (drops candy) - I do eat a bit too much candy. 962 00:37:20,255 --> 00:37:23,690 My liver's basically 40% high fructose corn syrup. 963 00:37:23,692 --> 00:37:25,125 (chuckles) 964 00:37:25,181 --> 00:37:26,814 Well, good choice. 965 00:37:26,816 --> 00:37:29,116 You know, I was thinking, Darryl. (clears throat) 966 00:37:29,118 --> 00:37:31,052 I'm so slammed, maybe you would like 967 00:37:31,054 --> 00:37:33,321 to take over the Crestfield account? 968 00:37:33,323 --> 00:37:35,022 The wh? 969 00:37:35,024 --> 00:37:37,258 That's... that's, like, our biggest client. 970 00:37:37,260 --> 00:37:40,328 Yeah. And I need a copilot. 971 00:37:41,698 --> 00:37:44,632 Copilot Darryl C. Whitefeather reporting for duty, sir... 972 00:37:47,003 --> 00:37:48,369 Maya? 973 00:37:48,371 --> 00:37:50,104 Would you please get that? I'm very busy. 974 00:37:50,106 --> 00:37:51,839 Got a ton of work to do. 975 00:37:53,042 --> 00:37:55,077 Your office is that way. 976 00:37:58,940 --> 00:38:01,041 REBECCA: I don't know. 977 00:37:59,928 --> 00:38:01,862 I've been giving it a lot of thought. 978 00:38:01,864 --> 00:38:05,065 And maybe Rabbi Shari's right. 979 00:38:05,067 --> 00:38:07,567 About me not loving myself. 980 00:38:07,569 --> 00:38:09,736 You know, maybe there's... 981 00:38:09,738 --> 00:38:12,606 there's something else at the core of my unhappiness 982 00:38:12,608 --> 00:38:14,574 that-that I didn't realize. 983 00:38:16,979 --> 00:38:19,613 I'm sorry, what did you say? 984 00:38:19,615 --> 00:38:22,282 Well, she said that I wouldn't find my answers 985 00:38:22,284 --> 00:38:25,185 in another person, and... 986 00:38:25,187 --> 00:38:28,088 I don't know, that's starting to make a lot of sense. 987 00:38:30,459 --> 00:38:32,592 (whistling the horah) 988 00:38:35,130 --> 00:38:37,197 Go on. 989 00:38:36,551 --> 00:38:39,919 Well... I moved to West Covina 'cause I thought 990 00:38:39,921 --> 00:38:42,088 my problems would be solved by a boy. 991 00:38:42,090 --> 00:38:44,791 Now I'm with that boy, 992 00:38:44,793 --> 00:38:48,294 and I still have the same problems. 993 00:38:48,296 --> 00:38:50,296 So... 994 00:38:50,298 --> 00:38:53,399 I don't know, maybe it's something else. 995 00:38:53,401 --> 00:38:56,869 And... if he is not the answer, 996 00:38:56,871 --> 00:39:00,206 what could it be about? 997 00:39:00,208 --> 00:39:03,409 It could be... 998 00:39:03,411 --> 00:39:05,611 my own issues. 999 00:39:06,681 --> 00:39:07,914 Oh... 1000 00:39:07,916 --> 00:39:09,916 Oh. What's wrong? 1001 00:39:09,918 --> 00:39:11,984 (crying) Nothing. It's just... 1002 00:39:11,986 --> 00:39:15,188 I'm so... 1003 00:39:15,190 --> 00:39:17,056 happy. 1004 00:39:17,058 --> 00:39:18,858 Oh. 1005 00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:21,527 Could you stay a little longer today? 1006 00:39:22,497 --> 00:39:23,596 Candace! 1007 00:39:23,698 --> 00:39:26,232 Cancel my next five appointments. 1008 00:39:26,234 --> 00:39:27,733 Rebecca, 1009 00:39:27,735 --> 00:39:31,003 do you think that you're finally really ready 1010 00:39:31,005 --> 00:39:34,006 to confront your issues? 1011 00:39:34,008 --> 00:39:38,377 I think... I think maybe... 1012 00:39:38,379 --> 00:39:40,413 Yes. Yes, I am. 1013 00:39:40,415 --> 00:39:42,682 (exhales) 1014 00:39:42,684 --> 00:39:44,317 (Josh whistling in distance) 1015 00:39:44,319 --> 00:39:45,518 What's that noise? 1016 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,453 Uh, nothing. It doesn't matter. You were saying? 1017 00:39:47,455 --> 00:39:51,390 You can't be happy in life until you're happy with yourself? 1018 00:39:51,392 --> 00:39:52,658 Yes. 1019 00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:56,295 But figuring out what that is, being happy with myself, 1020 00:39:56,297 --> 00:39:58,931 that's a hard and scary road 1021 00:39:58,933 --> 00:40:00,533 that I don't know if I want to go down. 1022 00:40:00,535 --> 00:40:01,567 (whistling continues) 1023 00:40:01,569 --> 00:40:02,869 What is that noise? 1024 00:40:02,871 --> 00:40:05,371 S-stay with me. Come on. (chuckles) 1025 00:40:05,373 --> 00:40:06,939 Stay with me. 1026 00:40:06,941 --> 00:40:09,342 So maybe... 1027 00:40:09,344 --> 00:40:12,578 maybe I need to just take some time on my own... 1028 00:40:13,982 --> 00:40:15,181 - ... to figure... - (door opens) 1029 00:40:17,085 --> 00:40:18,251 Josh? 1030 00:40:18,353 --> 00:40:19,552 What are you doing here? 1031 00:40:22,891 --> 00:40:24,390 The Garfinkel ring. 1032 00:40:24,392 --> 00:40:26,158 But how did you... ? 1033 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,793 You told me you pawned it, so I went 1034 00:40:27,795 --> 00:40:29,295 to the pawn shop on East Cameron... 1035 00:40:29,297 --> 00:40:31,864 Rebecca, stay with me. You're working on yourself. 1036 00:40:31,866 --> 00:40:34,367 You're taking time out to be alone. 1037 00:40:34,369 --> 00:40:36,269 Oh, my God, you remembered me saying that. 1038 00:40:36,271 --> 00:40:38,871 This is... so romantic. 1039 00:40:40,508 --> 00:40:41,774 Oh. No! 1040 00:40:41,776 --> 00:40:43,142 No. 1041 00:40:43,144 --> 00:40:45,211 No! No! 1042 00:40:50,818 --> 00:40:52,218 Oh, my God. 1043 00:40:52,220 --> 00:40:53,486 This is like a fairy tale. 1044 00:40:53,488 --> 00:40:55,187 This is everything I've ever wanted. 1045 00:40:55,189 --> 00:40:57,023 Get up, Josh. Get up. 1046 00:40:57,025 --> 00:40:58,324 Get up, Josh! 1047 00:40:58,326 --> 00:41:00,426 Rebecca Nora Bunch, 1048 00:41:00,428 --> 00:41:01,761 will... 1049 00:41:01,763 --> 00:41:02,828 No. 1050 00:41:02,830 --> 00:41:04,263 (gasps) 1051 00:41:04,265 --> 00:41:05,398 ... you... 1052 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:06,499 Wait! 1053 00:41:07,468 --> 00:41:08,534 ... marry... 1054 00:41:08,536 --> 00:41:09,602 Please! 1055 00:41:09,604 --> 00:41:10,670 ... me? 1056 00:41:10,772 --> 00:41:12,204 Yes! 1057 00:41:12,206 --> 00:41:13,306 No! 1058 00:41:13,308 --> 00:41:15,675 (groans): Oh! 1059 00:41:15,677 --> 00:41:16,776 (gasps) 1060 00:41:16,778 --> 00:41:18,611 (moaning) 1061 00:41:22,383 --> 00:41:24,517 So you live in Los Angeles? 1062 00:41:24,519 --> 00:41:25,651 Basically. 1063 00:41:25,653 --> 00:41:26,786 Do you know Jeremy Stein? 1064 00:41:26,788 --> 00:41:27,820 No. 1065 00:41:27,822 --> 00:41:28,988 You know Josh Berger? 1066 00:41:28,990 --> 00:41:30,222 No. 1067 00:41:30,224 --> 00:41:31,691 - You know Sam Goldberg? - Nope. 1068 00:41:31,693 --> 00:41:33,125 - Do you know Sammy Goldberg? - No. 1069 00:41:33,127 --> 00:41:34,860 - Did you go to Camp Nock-A-Mixon? - No. 1070 00:41:34,862 --> 00:41:36,128 Did you go to Camp Winadu? 1071 00:41:36,130 --> 00:41:37,530 No. 1072 00:41:37,532 --> 00:41:39,432 Have you ever met a Jew before Rebecca? 1073 00:41:39,434 --> 00:41:40,967 No. 1074 00:41:40,969 --> 00:41:44,904 Yeah. Probably should've started with that question. 1075 00:41:44,906 --> 00:41:46,339 I love Adam Sandler. 1076 00:41:46,341 --> 00:41:47,673 Me, too. 1077 00:41:47,723 --> 00:41:52,273 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 76433

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