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"Will & Grace" is shot
before a live studio audience.
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This is exciting.
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You and me, biking to work together.
4
00:00:07,844 --> 00:00:09,382
Why didn't we do this sooner?
5
00:00:09,406 --> 00:00:12,907
Well, A: We've never
worked near each other before.
6
00:00:12,931 --> 00:00:14,830
And B: You're afraid of
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00:00:14,854 --> 00:00:17,394
the truth-revealing properties
of Spandex.
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00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,920
Speaking of which, what do
you have in your bike shorts?
9
00:00:21,944 --> 00:00:24,442
You've been dying
to ask that for 30 years.
10
00:00:31,597 --> 00:00:33,910
I packed a banana for later.
11
00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,500
But guess what?
12
00:00:36,524 --> 00:00:38,373
I'm hungry now.
13
00:00:42,813 --> 00:00:44,170
You want a peach?
14
00:00:47,179 --> 00:00:49,592
It's quite the fruit basket
you've got there.
15
00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:53,283
You know the best part about teaching?
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00:00:53,307 --> 00:00:54,725
I can ride my bike to work,
17
00:00:54,749 --> 00:00:56,608
'cause I don't have to
get all dressed up.
18
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:59,051
Or is the best part that
you're in a position of power
19
00:00:59,075 --> 00:01:01,295
and there's all these
hot, young guys around
20
00:01:01,319 --> 00:01:02,977
and if you ask them out
they have to say yes
21
00:01:03,001 --> 00:01:04,524
or you'd fail them?
22
00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:07,023
You do understand the difference between
23
00:01:07,047 --> 00:01:11,028
a law school and a porno
set in a law school, right?
24
00:01:11,052 --> 00:01:13,672
Come on, there isn't
one teacher you wouldn't mind
25
00:01:13,696 --> 00:01:15,474
swapping briefs with?
26
00:01:15,498 --> 00:01:18,238
Well, there's this one guy Paul,
27
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teaches civil procedure.
28
00:01:19,784 --> 00:01:21,403
He's been kind of
giving me a vibe lately.
29
00:01:21,427 --> 00:01:24,586
Okay, okay, so he's
a chubby chaser, that's good.
30
00:01:28,517 --> 00:01:31,256
No, hooking up with a coworker?
31
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- It's frowned upon.
- It's frowned upon?
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Heavens no.
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Stop playing it so safe.
34
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You're in your early hundreds.
35
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:49,027
- Take a risk for once.
- I take risks.
36
00:01:49,906 --> 00:01:51,685
He is pretty cute. Maybe you're right.
37
00:01:51,709 --> 00:01:53,047
Have I ever been wrong?
38
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,450
Except always, almost never.
39
00:01:56,395 --> 00:01:58,214
Exactly.
40
00:01:58,238 --> 00:02:01,338
- Shall we?
- We shall.
41
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:09,074
42
00:02:27,759 --> 00:02:30,219
Six, seven, now.
43
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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Look, Melania, I really appreciate
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00:02:44,102 --> 00:02:45,302
you thinking of me,
46
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and this guy sounds great, but
47
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I'm not ready to start dating.
48
00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:52,370
I just got a divorce, and...
49
00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:53,812
No, it's super easy.
50
00:02:53,836 --> 00:02:55,552
You just have to sign a few papers.
51
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,259
Yeah, yeah, I'll shoot you his info.
52
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Okay.
53
00:03:00,285 --> 00:03:02,984
Be best, girl.
54
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:06,990
That was your First Lady
trying to fix me up again.
55
00:03:07,014 --> 00:03:10,233
Not sure we really trust
her taste in men.
56
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,570
Like she had a choice.
57
00:03:15,145 --> 00:03:17,965
Maybe you should think
about getting back out there.
58
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,649
- I'm not ready.
- Who is?
59
00:03:20,673 --> 00:03:23,012
Do you think I was ready
the first time I had sex
60
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,254
after Leo and I divorced?
61
00:03:24,278 --> 00:03:25,616
Oh, huh, how about that?
62
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:29,141
Only took 45 seconds
to make it about you.
63
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:33,106
I am not making it about me.
64
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,674
So I was with this guy,
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00:03:35,734 --> 00:03:38,875
and I shouted out "Leo!" in bed,
66
00:03:38,899 --> 00:03:42,640
so I had to pretend that I was
telling him my astrological sign
67
00:03:42,664 --> 00:03:47,847
but his was Cancer,
so he shouts out "Cancer!"
68
00:03:53,879 --> 00:03:55,528
Wait, what were we talking about?
69
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,502
- Me.
- Oh, that's right.
70
00:03:58,526 --> 00:04:01,025
Look, all I'm trying to say is that
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00:04:01,049 --> 00:04:03,549
I thought I would never be ready,
72
00:04:03,573 --> 00:04:06,553
but I forced myself
to get back on the horse.
73
00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:09,397
I would like to ride a horse again.
74
00:04:09,421 --> 00:04:10,839
Mm-hmm.
75
00:04:10,863 --> 00:04:12,692
Stan was never allowed,
76
00:04:12,716 --> 00:04:15,048
for animal safety reasons.
77
00:04:16,551 --> 00:04:19,892
You know what?
I will go out with this guy.
78
00:04:19,916 --> 00:04:22,138
And thank you, Grace.
79
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,266
I don't want to end up like you.
80
00:04:25,964 --> 00:04:27,967
But I never said...
81
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,104
You're welcome.
82
00:04:32,934 --> 00:04:35,594
Ooh! My new fabric from Istanbul!
83
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:37,877
Oh, thank you, Richard.
84
00:04:37,901 --> 00:04:39,720
Or would you prefer "Rich"?
85
00:04:39,744 --> 00:04:42,992
I prefer "Steve," because that's my name.
86
00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:46,609
Fair enough.
87
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:49,999
Okay.
88
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:59,587
Thank God that's over.
89
00:04:59,611 --> 00:05:00,949
I believe this is yours.
90
00:05:00,973 --> 00:05:02,471
Malcolm, what are you doing here?
91
00:05:02,495 --> 00:05:04,674
And why did you come in a FedEx box?
92
00:05:04,698 --> 00:05:08,184
'Cause I absolutely positively
had to get here overnight.
93
00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:10,184
Where's Karen?
94
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,484
Actually, she's on a date.
95
00:05:11,508 --> 00:05:13,607
She got back on the horse
and I'm proud of her.
96
00:05:13,631 --> 00:05:14,731
Me too.
97
00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:16,210
I know she couldn't ride with Stan
98
00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:18,361
because of animal safety issues.
99
00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:20,697
I have to see her, Grace.
100
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,820
For the last five months,
she's all I've thought about.
101
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:25,744
I could barely waterboard
my target in Bahrain
102
00:05:25,768 --> 00:05:29,080
because his screams reminded me
of our lovemaking.
103
00:05:29,773 --> 00:05:31,632
Wait a minute, that's torture.
104
00:05:31,656 --> 00:05:33,114
You have no idea.
105
00:05:41,855 --> 00:05:43,672
Morning, bitches.
106
00:05:44,338 --> 00:05:46,477
Jack McFarland.
107
00:05:46,501 --> 00:05:48,440
You don't remember me, do you?
108
00:05:48,843 --> 00:05:52,684
You remember my sister Zandra.
She was your acting teacher.
109
00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:55,592
And I used to sub for her
whenever she fell prey to
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the tragic personal demons,
111
00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:02,122
and also when she played
Old Whore in "One Life to Live."
112
00:06:02,146 --> 00:06:03,805
Zusanna?
113
00:06:03,829 --> 00:06:06,689
She never saw the potential
in you that I saw.
114
00:06:06,713 --> 00:06:08,651
I told her, "Jack has that something
115
00:06:08,675 --> 00:06:10,654
"that's rare and precious in an actor:
116
00:06:10,678 --> 00:06:12,777
His checks always clear."
117
00:06:12,801 --> 00:06:14,327
Ha-ha!
118
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"Zusanna's Dog Walking Service?"
119
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,923
Wait, so you're not teaching anymore?
120
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,325
Teaching? No.
121
00:06:21,349 --> 00:06:23,128
It robbed me of all my creative energy.
122
00:06:23,152 --> 00:06:25,291
Teaching is for no-talent hacks.
123
00:06:25,315 --> 00:06:27,053
What are you doing with yourself?
124
00:06:27,077 --> 00:06:28,842
So I'm a teacher.
125
00:06:30,442 --> 00:06:33,983
Kind of half-teacher,
half-actor, you know.
126
00:06:34,007 --> 00:06:35,946
But I still get health and dental.
127
00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:38,435
Does Tom Cruise have dental?
128
00:06:39,735 --> 00:06:44,649
No, but he's such a good actor
you believe he has teeth.
129
00:06:47,402 --> 00:06:51,407
You can't be half an actor, Jack!
130
00:06:52,073 --> 00:06:55,253
What's "hoff-en-octa-jock"?
131
00:06:55,277 --> 00:06:57,015
Precisely.
132
00:06:57,039 --> 00:07:00,380
You must commit to your craft!
133
00:07:00,404 --> 00:07:01,862
All right, I'll do it!
134
00:07:01,886 --> 00:07:05,547
I'll temporarily unretire
and I'll teach you again.
135
00:07:05,571 --> 00:07:07,790
- Really?
- Yeah.
136
00:07:07,814 --> 00:07:09,392
I haven't had an acting teacher
137
00:07:09,416 --> 00:07:11,275
since I got kicked out of
my online master class
138
00:07:11,299 --> 00:07:13,219
with Manny from "Modern Family."
139
00:07:14,023 --> 00:07:16,923
Well, I will drop by
the rec center later,
140
00:07:16,947 --> 00:07:19,927
and we will embark
on our journey together.
141
00:07:19,951 --> 00:07:22,931
My sister Zandra said that teaching you
142
00:07:22,955 --> 00:07:26,816
was like trying to teach
a donkey to curtsey.
143
00:07:28,723 --> 00:07:33,065
But I will consider it... an honor.
144
00:07:33,089 --> 00:07:35,028
Hey, how is Zandra, by the way?
145
00:07:35,052 --> 00:07:36,590
She's no longer with us.
146
00:07:36,614 --> 00:07:38,433
She was cleaning her gun,
147
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:41,039
and she accidentally fell out the window.
148
00:07:42,743 --> 00:07:46,336
Then six months later,
she had a heart attack and died.
149
00:07:53,198 --> 00:07:55,929
She... she's gone?
150
00:07:56,889 --> 00:07:58,556
Oh, my God, Zandra.
151
00:08:01,489 --> 00:08:03,348
Zandra!
152
00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:10,277
Why?
153
00:08:12,144 --> 00:08:14,363
Oh, wait, I knew that.
154
00:08:17,672 --> 00:08:19,290
Hey, Paul, you teaching today?
155
00:08:19,314 --> 00:08:21,533
Actually, they, uh,
moved my class right next door,
156
00:08:21,557 --> 00:08:23,576
so looks like we're neighbors.
157
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,901
Ohh, the gays are taking over the hood.
158
00:08:26,925 --> 00:08:28,503
All right, well, let me know
if you need anything
159
00:08:28,527 --> 00:08:30,426
from the boy next door.
160
00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:32,465
- Uh, Paul, you...
- Yeah?
161
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,554
- Want to grab a drink sometime?
- Sure.
162
00:08:36,578 --> 00:08:39,478
Wow, I just, uh...
I did not expect that from you.
163
00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:41,321
You kind of seem like a "rule" guy.
164
00:08:41,345 --> 00:08:43,524
That was a different Will Truman.
165
00:08:43,548 --> 00:08:46,728
That guy's got a real stick up his ass.
166
00:08:46,752 --> 00:08:48,851
Well, does this Will Truman
have a problem with
167
00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:50,734
faculty dating being frowned upon?
168
00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:53,097
Frowned upon? Please.
169
00:08:53,121 --> 00:08:55,981
Who cares? Not this guy.
170
00:08:58,449 --> 00:09:00,427
Hey. How was the date?
171
00:09:00,451 --> 00:09:02,370
I don't want to talk about it.
172
00:09:04,938 --> 00:09:07,625
All right, quit pestering me!
I'll tell you!
173
00:09:09,504 --> 00:09:12,084
- He stood me up.
- Oh, Karen.
174
00:09:12,108 --> 00:09:15,969
I am done.
I have had two loves in my life.
175
00:09:15,993 --> 00:09:19,534
One divorced me,
the other caused the divorce.
176
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:21,337
That is it.
177
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,980
- I saw Malcolm.
- What?
178
00:09:24,004 --> 00:09:26,384
He wants to give it another shot.
179
00:09:26,408 --> 00:09:28,587
Maybe you should think about it.
180
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,590
Absolutely not.
181
00:09:30,614 --> 00:09:32,392
That man ruined my life.
182
00:09:32,416 --> 00:09:34,074
Okay, okay, look, Karen,
183
00:09:34,098 --> 00:09:38,000
can I just give you
30 seconds of tough love?
184
00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:39,362
Fine.
185
00:09:39,386 --> 00:09:43,036
But no car antennas
and stay away from the face.
186
00:09:45,514 --> 00:09:49,321
No! No, Karen.
187
00:09:49,345 --> 00:09:50,460
What...
188
00:09:51,001 --> 00:09:54,623
People in healthy
relationships don't cheat.
189
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,699
Now, let's explore fear.
190
00:10:04,723 --> 00:10:06,961
Show me a man who's afraid of heights.
191
00:10:08,569 --> 00:10:10,548
Yes, yes, now show me a man
192
00:10:10,572 --> 00:10:12,630
who's afraid of losing his lover.
193
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,874
No, he's still afraid of heights.
194
00:10:14,898 --> 00:10:16,636
Show me a man who's afraid of birds!
195
00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:18,719
- Birds?
- Of birds!
196
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,523
He's afraid of losing his lover.
Now he's afraid of heights.
197
00:10:21,547 --> 00:10:22,845
He's afraid of birds.
198
00:10:22,869 --> 00:10:24,607
He's afraid of birds with his lover.
199
00:10:24,631 --> 00:10:26,410
He's afraid of his lover
on the heights with the birds!
200
00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:27,852
Now he's afraid of his lover!
201
00:10:27,876 --> 00:10:30,576
Lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover.
202
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,236
Lover... now stop.
203
00:10:34,004 --> 00:10:36,023
Now what if I asked you to show me a man
204
00:10:36,047 --> 00:10:38,747
who's biggest fear is that
he won't make it as an actor?
205
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:41,070
A man who's taken a safe job
206
00:10:41,094 --> 00:10:43,153
so he doesn't have to
risk everything as an artist.
207
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:45,166
What would that look like?
208
00:10:46,902 --> 00:10:49,482
It would... it would look like me.
209
00:10:49,506 --> 00:10:52,366
That's right, a true artist
doesn't have a safety net.
210
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:56,972
You have to ask yourself,
"Am I a teacher?
211
00:10:56,996 --> 00:10:59,347
Or am I an actor?"
212
00:11:03,806 --> 00:11:05,825
- I'm an actor.
- What?
213
00:11:05,849 --> 00:11:09,190
- I'm an actor.
- I don't believe you.
214
00:11:09,814 --> 00:11:11,753
Hi, Mr. McFarland.
215
00:11:11,777 --> 00:11:14,076
Mr. McFarland is dead, Felix!
216
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:17,882
He was your teacher.
I am an actor and only an actor!
217
00:11:17,906 --> 00:11:21,661
And from this day forward, I am
"Just Jack."
218
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,059
- Hey.
- You ready?
219
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:31,661
- Definitely.
- Oh, good.
220
00:11:31,685 --> 00:11:33,664
I was, uh, kind of worried
you were gonna bail.
221
00:11:33,688 --> 00:11:35,666
Crossed my mind for a second.
222
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:37,829
But they say
when you're on your deathbed,
223
00:11:37,853 --> 00:11:40,233
it's not the things you did
that you regret
224
00:11:40,257 --> 00:11:41,795
but the things you didn't do.
225
00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:45,160
And I don't want this to be
something that I didn't do.
226
00:11:45,184 --> 00:11:48,685
I am flattered that I am
the thing that you want to do.
227
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,168
Let's get out of here.
228
00:11:51,192 --> 00:11:52,392
You read my mind.
229
00:11:52,393 --> 00:11:54,212
- There you are.
- Oh, Liam.
230
00:11:54,236 --> 00:11:55,734
- Uh, hey.
- Hi.
231
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,176
I was looking for you all over.
232
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,899
Oh, yeah, uh, they moved my class.
233
00:11:58,923 --> 00:12:00,023
Wait, I thought you had
dinner with your sister?
234
00:12:00,024 --> 00:12:01,422
She cancelled, then Iris called
235
00:12:01,446 --> 00:12:02,784
to say she couldn't sit.
236
00:12:02,808 --> 00:12:04,008
- Everything at once.
- Oh.
237
00:12:04,009 --> 00:12:05,788
Hi, I'm Liam, Paul's husband.
238
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,070
Will Truman.
239
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,459
Didn't tell me you had a child.
240
00:12:10,339 --> 00:12:12,598
I lost Lucy's bunny.
I need the backup bunny.
241
00:12:12,622 --> 00:12:14,040
Oh, it's, uh, it's in my bag.
242
00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:15,562
She's an angel.
243
00:12:15,586 --> 00:12:17,467
Would you like to hold her, Will?
244
00:12:18,390 --> 00:12:19,590
Definitely.
245
00:12:19,592 --> 00:12:21,651
Uh, we will be right back.
246
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:23,253
I didn't mean to bother you at work.
247
00:12:23,277 --> 00:12:24,891
No-no-no, don't worry about it.
248
00:12:26,601 --> 00:12:29,902
Don't look at me like that.
I didn't do anything.
249
00:12:29,926 --> 00:12:31,584
Okay, yes.
250
00:12:31,608 --> 00:12:33,227
I... I agreed to meet with him.
251
00:12:33,251 --> 00:12:35,069
So I'm complicit. You raise a good point.
252
00:12:35,093 --> 00:12:37,779
But, um, you know,
I'm not breaking any laws.
253
00:12:38,538 --> 00:12:39,916
Which is a weak defense
254
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:41,438
with the word "ethics" written behind you
255
00:12:41,462 --> 00:12:43,534
Fell right into your trap. Hm.
256
00:12:44,226 --> 00:12:46,485
Hope I never have to face you in court.
257
00:12:46,509 --> 00:12:47,887
You're relentless.
258
00:12:47,911 --> 00:12:49,129
Thank you, Will.
259
00:12:49,153 --> 00:12:52,814
Oh, oh, sure. She's a sweetie.
260
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,176
Okay then.
261
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,778
- I'll see you at home later?
- Okay.
262
00:12:55,802 --> 00:12:58,246
- I love you.
- Mm, I love you too.
263
00:13:01,851 --> 00:13:03,789
Well, that was awkward.
264
00:13:03,813 --> 00:13:06,633
You think?
265
00:13:06,657 --> 00:13:08,236
You guys have an arrangement or?
266
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:11,020
Uh, yeah, if I get caught,
he arranges my murder.
267
00:13:11,785 --> 00:13:15,085
- Drink?
- No!
268
00:13:15,109 --> 00:13:17,809
You have a husband and a baby.
269
00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,531
And not just any husband and a baby
270
00:13:19,555 --> 00:13:21,294
but a husband who clearly loves you
271
00:13:21,318 --> 00:13:24,458
and a baby who arguably
has the greatest legal mind
272
00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:27,062
of any baby in our time.
273
00:13:27,086 --> 00:13:29,345
I thought you said
that you were a risk-taker.
274
00:13:29,369 --> 00:13:30,873
Well, I'm not.
275
00:13:31,973 --> 00:13:33,431
I'm a classic rule-follower.
276
00:13:33,455 --> 00:13:36,034
That's why I like the law.
It's all about the rules.
277
00:13:36,058 --> 00:13:37,917
Come on, you know
it's different with two guys.
278
00:13:37,941 --> 00:13:41,001
- We make our own rules.
- No, we don't.
279
00:13:41,025 --> 00:13:42,025
I don't.
280
00:13:42,027 --> 00:13:43,027
You know, we spend all these years
281
00:13:43,028 --> 00:13:44,366
saying marriage is marriage
282
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,329
and love is love
till we were blue in the face.
283
00:13:46,353 --> 00:13:49,093
And now that we finally have
what we were fighting for,
284
00:13:49,117 --> 00:13:51,616
we say cheating is not always cheating?
285
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,355
I mean, that just seems like cheating.
286
00:13:56,888 --> 00:13:59,067
Sorry, Paul, I...
287
00:13:59,091 --> 00:14:00,736
See you around the hood.
288
00:14:09,185 --> 00:14:10,385
Oh, damn it.
289
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,958
What is he doing here?
290
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,640
She didn't specify where I had to be
291
00:14:19,664 --> 00:14:21,122
at the time the call took place.
292
00:14:21,146 --> 00:14:24,647
I will talk to you
or be in the same room with you,
293
00:14:24,671 --> 00:14:26,530
but I will not do both.
294
00:14:26,554 --> 00:14:28,452
- Fine.
- Fine.
295
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,056
And I have gotten zero done today,
296
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,139
so I will be in my office.
297
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,142
Grace, wait. Please stay.
298
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,585
Karen and I have a long history
of using a middleman
299
00:14:37,609 --> 00:14:39,468
to overcome obstacles.
300
00:14:39,492 --> 00:14:42,552
In 2017, when we couldn't touch,
301
00:14:42,576 --> 00:14:44,595
we both kissed Smitty.
302
00:14:45,821 --> 00:14:49,642
In 2012, when we promised
not to see each other anymore,
303
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:53,645
we had virtual sex as orcs
in "World of Warcraft."
304
00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:57,733
When we cut off
all communication in 2007,
305
00:14:57,757 --> 00:15:00,016
I gave her a shout-out
by ghostwriting the song
306
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:03,280
"Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado
featuring Timbaland.
307
00:15:05,047 --> 00:15:06,666
Be our middleman, Grace.
308
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:10,191
It could work, because in the middle,
309
00:15:10,215 --> 00:15:12,164
you resemble a man.
310
00:15:17,465 --> 00:15:18,837
Fine.
311
00:15:22,271 --> 00:15:24,259
- You want me to say that?
- Yeah.
312
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,420
"Karen, I can't stop thinking about
313
00:15:31,444 --> 00:15:34,895
"your sweet, sweet lady-nest.
314
00:15:36,611 --> 00:15:40,577
It is the only place I truly feel home."
315
00:15:47,627 --> 00:15:49,618
No, I'm not saying that.
316
00:15:54,597 --> 00:15:58,618
"And I have thought, once or twice,
317
00:15:58,642 --> 00:16:02,464
"about your... skin missile...
318
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:10,931
"And your targeted carpet bombing
319
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:14,961
"and the things you let me do to you
320
00:16:14,985 --> 00:16:17,604
that no man has ever let me do before."
321
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,295
"Like what?"
322
00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:55,142
Wait... what am I doing? Enough!
323
00:16:56,002 --> 00:16:58,812
How are you two even alive?
324
00:17:03,052 --> 00:17:06,553
Why don't the two of you
just make up already?
325
00:17:06,577 --> 00:17:08,716
He told Stan about our affair.
326
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:09,740
When you cut me out of your life,
327
00:17:09,741 --> 00:17:11,039
I felt like I was drowning.
328
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:13,363
And I love you desperately, Karen,
329
00:17:13,387 --> 00:17:15,726
like Mark Antony loved Cleopatra.
330
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:17,568
He threw away the world for her,
331
00:17:17,592 --> 00:17:20,012
because an empire without her by his side
332
00:17:20,036 --> 00:17:21,574
was a prison.
333
00:17:21,598 --> 00:17:23,136
Oh, Malcolm.
334
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:29,465
Your words give me feelings
in my... heart area.
335
00:17:29,489 --> 00:17:30,867
But no.
336
00:17:30,891 --> 00:17:32,110
You ruined my marriage
337
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,287
and I don't think
I could ever forget that.
338
00:17:34,288 --> 00:17:35,933
But you could forgive him.
339
00:17:37,252 --> 00:17:39,151
Look, obviously,
340
00:17:39,175 --> 00:17:43,797
on some deeply weird level,
341
00:17:43,821 --> 00:17:47,527
the two of you are meant for each other.
342
00:17:48,348 --> 00:17:51,648
But without forgiveness,
343
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:55,333
the past never stops hurting.
344
00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:57,657
It stays with you,
345
00:17:57,681 --> 00:18:01,833
like Fergie's performance
of the national anthem.
346
00:18:24,758 --> 00:18:26,777
Excuse me, miss?
347
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:29,569
Is this Grace Adler Designs?
348
00:18:32,609 --> 00:18:35,069
Why, yes it is. How can I help you?
349
00:18:35,093 --> 00:18:37,913
Well, I'm looking for a sunny
little piece for my apartment
350
00:18:37,937 --> 00:18:39,835
and I think I may have just found it.
351
00:18:39,859 --> 00:18:41,518
Karen Walker.
352
00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:44,126
Malcolm Widmark.
353
00:18:44,386 --> 00:18:46,004
Uh, there's a place
around the corner that keeps
354
00:18:46,028 --> 00:18:48,728
a bottle of Château Lafite Rothschild
355
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:49,952
at the bar for me.
356
00:18:49,953 --> 00:18:52,175
- Do you drink?
- A widdle.
357
00:18:54,961 --> 00:18:57,740
I'd like to get to know you better.
358
00:18:57,764 --> 00:18:59,142
If I'm being too forward,
359
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:01,101
I truly hope that you'll forgive me.
360
00:19:05,776 --> 00:19:07,441
I forgive you.
361
00:19:19,114 --> 00:19:20,314
Felix!
362
00:19:20,315 --> 00:19:23,707
You are unencumbered
by ability and talent.
363
00:19:24,602 --> 00:19:25,860
Go out and take yourself a lover
364
00:19:25,884 --> 00:19:27,702
so you can bring something to this.
365
00:19:27,726 --> 00:19:30,426
Right now, take a lover, a big ole lover.
366
00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:33,270
Go.
367
00:19:33,294 --> 00:19:37,429
I want to see scars!
368
00:19:38,982 --> 00:19:40,082
Zusanna?
369
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,002
Jack, what are you doing here?
370
00:19:42,026 --> 00:19:44,446
I came to ask Theodore for my job back.
371
00:19:44,470 --> 00:19:46,288
I can't lose my dental.
372
00:19:46,312 --> 00:19:48,774
When you slapped me,
you knocked a tooth loose.
373
00:19:49,957 --> 00:19:53,487
I swallowed it on my bus ride home.
374
00:19:57,328 --> 00:19:58,746
What are you doing here?
375
00:19:58,770 --> 00:20:01,910
Well, I work here. I'm your replacement.
376
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,371
But you said teaching here...
377
00:20:04,297 --> 00:20:07,438
Wait a minute, you manipulated
me to steal my job?
378
00:20:07,462 --> 00:20:11,043
Jack, I needed insurance.
So I spun a little tale.
379
00:20:11,067 --> 00:20:14,728
I created a conflict between us
for the greater purpose.
380
00:20:14,752 --> 00:20:16,731
You know what that's called?
381
00:20:16,755 --> 00:20:19,554
Acting, Jack.
382
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,308
Oh, that's "octing-jock."
383
00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:26,184
Yes, it's you, my boy.
384
00:20:26,208 --> 00:20:29,549
That was your first lesson and
you passed with flying colors.
385
00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:31,191
- I did?
- Yes.
386
00:20:31,215 --> 00:20:34,155
You faced your fear
and you leapt into the unknown.
387
00:20:34,179 --> 00:20:38,040
A man at your age
and with your limited talent,
388
00:20:38,064 --> 00:20:40,826
it's the greatest leap I've ever seen.
389
00:20:41,736 --> 00:20:43,114
Oh, Jack.
390
00:20:43,512 --> 00:20:48,175
You know, sometimes I think
of you as the son I never had.
391
00:20:48,199 --> 00:20:51,169
- Do you mean that?
- Yeah...
392
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,903
I still need money
to go to the dentist though.
393
00:20:53,927 --> 00:20:57,147
Well, lucky for you, I know a job opening
394
00:20:57,171 --> 00:21:00,952
that will pay you just enough
to keep you out of poverty
395
00:21:00,976 --> 00:21:05,279
but not nearly enough
to make you feel secure.
396
00:21:06,624 --> 00:21:08,082
I have to pee.
397
00:21:08,106 --> 00:21:10,726
I have to... I let you pee!
I am the alpha!
397
00:21:11,305 --> 00:21:17,582
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