All language subtitles for Gary Unmarried s02e05 Gary On The Air.eng

And in the final segment of this show,
I will tell you

the best thing about women's beach
volleyball here's a clue:

it rhymes with
"founcing foobies." Hello!

That oughta keep the monkeys
happy during commercial.

That sports guy Vic?
There's a word for him.

It, rhymes with "Jackass."

Damn it. It's not gonna be
the same without you here, man.

I can't believe it only took you
6 weeks to paint 500 square feet.

I admit I was probably stalling

cause I wanted Sasha to notice me
and put me on the air.

I used every trick in the contractor's
stalling handbook.

No, man, I loved it when you convinced
her that the primer need a primer.

That was good.

How about the day
I spent washing that brush?

Guys. Curtis, we've got
a police situation outside.

What, so you immediately assume
it has something to do with me?

- Post-racial, my ass.
- No. It's Vic. He's being arrested.

All right, apparently, he's been
walking around town exposing himself.

That's... that's terrible.

To animals.

Look, that's just weird.
Do the animals Even know?

I mean, how does an animal
report something like that?

They have him on
security tape at the zoo.

He was in front of the gorilla cage,
and I don't know who started it...

Why am I explaining this?

OK, Curtis, I need you to
get in there and wrap it up.

- We've got 30 seconds.
- Sasha, let me do it.

- I'm sorry.
- What? Come on.

You've heard my demo. You know
I'm good. Let me do it. Come on.

This is not a radio fantasy camp.
We're on the air here.

I'm so sorry, man.
It's just, i'm the engineer.

I'm the guy who knows the show.
So, it only makes sense

that I take over, you know?
I gotta do it.

- You're on.
- I can't do it.

- What?
- I can't think of anything to say.

You can't think of anything to say?
You spent all morning talking about

how many books you could
balance on kim Kardashian's ass.

Sasha, let me do it. I'll do it.

All right. Sorry, Curtis.

Hey, everybody, I'm,
well, my name's Gary.

Vic will be back in a couple of...

Months?

I can't tell you the reason why,
exactly,

but let's just say it rhymes with
"basturbating in front of borillas."

OK, so,
we're gonna talk some sports here.

I read in the newspaper this morning
that, that south African runner,

well, she tested positive
for having both male and female

parts, and now, she's banned
from competing as a woman.

I think that's terrible. They
she should be saluted. That's what...

If I had male and female parts,

I wouldn't be able to leave
my house long enough to train.

Just too many options there, I'm sorry.

It's like,
it's like being a one-man band.

You get tired of banging your drum,
you move over to the slide whistle.

That's...

Anyway, my name is Gary Brooks
and that's the score.

How was that?

Thank you, Gary.

Forget all the horrible
things I ever said about you.

- Never said anything horrible to me.
- I said, "about you," not "to you."

Wait a minute.
I just did something good for you.

Why don't you do something nice for me?

Let me finish
the morning here on the air?

- I don't know...
- Time out.

I just saved your bacon.
I'm good. You know I'm good.

You know I never shut up,
and the only time I ever expose myself

to an animal is when I was peeing
in a bush that was housing

a very indignant raccoon.

OK, you get one shot.
Tomorrow morning.

Thank you!

You were not scared at all, were you?

You are welcome.

-= 205 =-
"Gary on the Air"

VO By : ¤Aka¤

Team Subs-Addicts"

How great will it be if we get to do
a show together? God, I thought my life

peaked when I found out you could
buy shrimp that was already peeled.

Yeah, it's gonna be
just like the old days, man.

You're gonna be the pitcher
and I'm gonna be the catcher.

I mean not like that, not like that.

I mean,
it's more like it's more like football.

You know, you'll be throwing
balls and I'm the receiver.

Not like that, either.

Hey, there they are.

- What's the word, my man?
- I'll be in the bathroom.

That's a man on a mission. I get that.

Hey, dad.
For volunteer week at school,

i'm gonna video tape greetings from us

to uncle Mitch
and the marines in his unit.

So, think of something to say.

OK, I will. That's great, sweetheart.

Yeah, it feels good to volunteer.

Plus, it's extra credit
and I'm all over that, so.

Hey, before Allison comes in, don't
tell her about my radio audition, OK?

Why not?

Because Allison will say something like,
"why are you gonna

give up a good painter's job
"with a steady income

"to follow a radio pipe dream"
that pays half as much?"

Actually, it's 1/3 as much.

That's why Vic had to take
that second job at the zoo.

Gary, listen, I have a doctor's
appointment tomorrow,

so I can't drive the kids to school.
Can you do car pool?

No, I can't because i

you know, I'll be honest with you.
I have something else planned.

Something you're not willing to tell me.
So, what does that mean?

A game you want to watch?
A hot dog stand you haven't tried?

No, I...

How do you know I'm not taking
a new interesting class?

Is there a new zombie
movie opening tomorrow?

I mean, what...
What could it be?

It has to be something,
and something stupid.

All right, I'll take the kids to school,
all right? Just get out.

Gary, just one more thing.

I'm concerned about Tom. He's been
spending a lot of time in the bathroom

lately and, even though
I know it's appropriate for

boys his age to

do things,

He's been acting a little
anxious and defensive, so.

OK, all right.
You want me to talk to him?

'cause I'm very comfortable
with the human body.

Yeah, Curtis, I got that the summer
we all spent at the lake.

OK, so, now,
a guy can't get an all over tan?

I'll talk to Tommy, OK?

I'll just tell him what my dad told me,
that every time you do it,

a window in space opens up
and spiritual warriors

come out and they spread
happiness and awareness.

- How many drugs did your dad do?
- A lot.

I'm not sure exactly how many,
but I was the only kid whose dad

made a pipe out
of his pinewood derby car.

All right, just,
just rember car pool tomorrow,

and I'm assuming that's a "Yes"
on talking to Tom.

I don't want him growing up
thinking it's something shameful

you have to hide in a tool shed to do.

What are you gonna do?

You can't go do your audition
if you're taking the kids to school.

I'm not gonna be taking my kids
to school. Someone will,

because the school has set up
a car pool

phone tree. You call one of the names
on this list. If they can't do it,

they call someone else and so on until
someone's taking your kids to school.

How is that like a tree?

I mean, if each person talks
to the next person,

and then they talk to the next person,
that's a phone Chain,

that's a phone Chain.

I don't know, they just,
they call it a phone tree.

I'm telling you,
if one person calls many people,

that's a tree, 'cause it branches out.

Stop. Is this gonna bother you all day?

No, no. I'm just...
I'm gonna get a beer, OK?

I mean, a phone train.
A phone... phone stream.

I mean, tree is the only thing
that doesn't describe it.

- Tom, get out of the bathroom!
- Yeah, I'll be out in a minute.

That's what you said 5 minutes ago.
What are you doing in there?

No matter what he's doing in there,
do you really want him to answer that?

- Fine.
- Get ready for school, would you?

Tommy, that's enough now.

Come on, your ride for school's here.
Let's go.

- What the heck's going on in there?
- OK, I don't wanna talk about it.

- Can't you just mind your own business?
- You don't have to talk about it.

But listen, it's no big deal.
Everybody goes through it.

I went through it,
your uncle went through it.

I'm not going through anything.
So, don't.

Relax. Look, if you happen
to find yourself going through

an exciting new chapter
in your life, just

know that every,
single man on the planet

has enjoyed that chapter over
and over and over again.

OK? Now, go to school, and take comfort
knowing that it has a very happy ending.

So, Michael Vick is back in the NFL

and, yeah, the guy
served his time in prison,

but I don't think this is all
gonna even out until he faces

a defensive line of Pit Bulls
and somebody snaps him a ham.

Gary, remind people to call in.

OK, everybody, don't forget to call in.
I'm Gary Brooks. This is the score.

Let's talk some sports.
All sports except for soccer.

And don't call me and tell
me how great soccer is.

You always say things like, "come on.

It's the most popular sport
in the entire world." Who cares?

Coldplay's the most popular
band in the entire world,

but that doesn't mean
I don't wanna light a Nickelback CD

on fire and beat Chris Martin
over the head with it.

You got a call on line 1.

We have allie in Marvista. She's upset.
Why are you so angry, Allie?

Because my stupid ex-husband
is doing a radio show,

and I got a call from the phone tree

asking if I could take
my own kids to school.

That's crazy.

Can you?

Gary, what the hell are you doing
on the radio while

the kids are waiting
at your house for a ride?

OK, I would explain, but you're calling
me right in the middle of my show.

I'm sorry. Am interrupting your show?
I just have one question.

What freakin' show, Gar?

The score with Gary Brooks!

And you're our first caller, so,

you win our Kobe Bryant bobblehead.
There you go.

We'll get that out to you right away.
Is your address still the gates of hell?

I can't believe you kept
this secret from me, Gary.

Allison, your reaction is the exact
reason why I didn't tell you about this.

I only get one shot at this radio gig,
and I didn't want you

to spoil it for me like you spoiled

our marriage and sex
and the endings of movies.

I'm not trying to spoil anything for you
but come on. A new career? Now?

I mean, would you make as much money
on the radio as you do painting?

I'm not sure.
Probably.

Gary, I don't understand this.
I mean, you have a good job

and you make good money.
Why would you throw all that away?

And for the record, I didn't ruin
that movie ending on purpose.

I just guessed that goose would die in a
traing mission and Maverick would live.

You know what?
For once in my life, I'm actually

in control here,
so, I am cutting you off.

Gary, keep her on.

People are loving the show. The phones
are lighting up like a Christmas tree.

OK, we got another call.
This is Keith from burbank.

Keith, what's on your mind?

Man, Gary, I hate when chicks
give away movie endings.

My girlfriend used to do that.

Except she didn't really know she was
my girlfriend, and she was a stranger.

OK. Why don't I let
allison respond to that?

Allison, why do you guys
ruin movie endings?

Please. Half those movies you said
I ruined, Stephen Baldwin

was already ruing.

Can we just talk
about this later, please?

Yeah, I'd love to, Alison.
But, we actually have another caller.

Look at this. We got Stu from Valencia.
Stu, you're on the score.

I've been listening to this whole
discussion. I think you're both

making really good points,
and I just have to say, Allison?

You sound hot.

You know what, Allison?
I know you think this dream is crazy,

but if I don't go for this right now,
when will i?

Probably never will.
This is my chance, and

guys like me
and guys like Keith out there,

guys that know what it's like
to work for a living, guys

that bust their butts day in and day out
they know what i'm talking about.

My whole life,
I've done what I've had to do,

and now, finally, I have a chance
to do what I want to do.

So, Allison, just so I can really
understand your side,

what are you?
Like, a 34c?

Bite me, Stu.

Gary? Please,
can we have an adult conversation here?

Yeah, that's real mature, Gar.

OK, you know what?

Just once,
I would like to talk to you...

You know what, Gary?
Gary, I'm right and you're wrong.

That was Allie in Marvista.

I'm Gary Brooks, and this is the score.

Oh, my god.

I'm sorry. I didn't know Allison was
gonna call in and ruin everything.

Gary, that was amazing.

Really? Oh, my gosh.
That's great.

You know,
I gotta let my bosses hear it, but

I think this is something that
I can sell to them.

Way to go, champ.

Man, that was awesome, man.
The phones were lighting up.

Most of the guys were on your side
couple of guys

wanted Allison's phone number.

And Nickelback called and said if there
were more of them, they'd kick your ass.

I believe this is actually
going to happen!

This is totally gonna happen.
You're gonna be the guy on top,

and I'm gonna be the guy
right underneath you.

Not like that, not like that.

Hi, KPPQ?

Yes, my name is, Steve Karisnowski and

and I was calling because
I really loved that guy

you had on the air this morning,
Gary Brooks was his name, I think?

Karisnowski.

"K"...

You know, just how it sounds.

Hello?

KPPQ? This is Christopher Walken, hello.

I'm calling 'cause of that boy
you had on the radio this morning.

I think his name was Gary Brooks.

Now, normally, I don't listen
to sports talk radio, but...

He made me a fan!

Keep him on the air.
I like it. I like it.

- Hi.
- Hey, there she is, my biggest fan.

What the heck were you doing
calling in to the radio show?

What were you doing? What? All of
a sudden, you're a radio personality?

Why didn't you tell me
you were doing this?

I knew you would be against it.
It's your job

to vacuum fun out of my life.

You even have special attachment to suck
fun out of all my hard to reach places.

Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I overreacted.

I just you were on the radio
and I got all panicked

about how we were gonna be able
to afford everything.

Gary, it's a tiny little station.

Will you make as much on
the radio as you do painting?

Not at first, OK?

But after a few years,
when I get my own following,

I still won't even come close.

Gary, there's something
I haven't told you.

Come on. We haven't had sex in 6 months.

No, do you rember a couple of
months ago, we sent in that application

for Louise to get in
to the l.A Philharmonic youth program?

Yeah, you told me it was
a super expensive

and prestigious.
But don't worry 'cause she won't get in.

She got in.

Of course she did.
She's so darn good at everything.

Listen to me, this music program,

it's gonna be a stretch Even
on your painter's salary,

but if you quit painting
and you start making less,

I don't know if we'll be able
to afford it at all.

And I know it's a little weird for me
to say this, because

I don't contribute as much financially,

- but...
- You mean, like 0 dollars?

Jeez, Gary,
if you want to put a number on it. God.

Look, this is... This is terrible.
This radio thing is like my dream.

But I can't stand in the way of Louise.
This is super important for her. Yeah.

It's time to say something to uncle
Mitch and the marines in his unit.

Hey, Mitch. It's your little brother.
Come home soon. We love you.

Tommy's bunk bed is waiting for you.

I just wanted to say thanks
to you and everyone in your unit.

For your service.
And, stay safe.

'cause I wanna give you a great,
big hug when you come home.

Thanks. He's really gonna love that.

Tom, is there anything
that you want to say to uncle Mitch?

Can I have a little peace?

Tom wants peace, uncle Mitch.

- Hey, guys. What's up?
- Hey. Allie.

So, listen, man,
we wanted to talk to you.

I think I should tell him.

It's probably better
coming from a buddy.

Anyway, it didn't work out.

Sasha tried really hard
but the guys upstairs,

they just didn't respond to the show.
I'm sorry.

Well.

That's what I get. It was dumb of me
to Even get my hopes up.

I'm sorry, Gar.

And they also said i'm
just messing with you, man.

- They loved you!
- What?

They loved you, Gary.

Congratulations.
You are the new KPPQ sports guy.

Hey, you should have seen your face.

It's like your heart was broken.

Yeah, tell him how it went down.

I gave the tape to management,
and they flipped.

You were Edgy, you were funny,
you knew your stuff.

And then, I made the point
that it's the kind of show that both men

and women would listen to,
which made me look like a genius.

So, what do you say?

I'm gonna have to say no.

Yes! Wait.
Hold on. What?

Sorry, I can't do it. Sorry.

Well, hold on a second.
Let me get this straight.

The thing you've been pestering

me to give you for the last 6 weeks,
you're now saying you don't want?

What are you?
A toddler?

- Look, I can't do it. I'm sorry.
- Gary, you have to do this.

And not just because i'm gonna look like
a giant ass to my boss if you say no.

But because you were born to do this.

I've never seen anyone enjoy
themselves doing anything

the way that I saw you
enjoy being on the radio.

It was like you were glowing.

And I don't know if I've had that
feeling doing anything in my life, ever.

My, my daughter

has an opportunity to do something
really incredible,

and I will not be able to
make that work

on a Dj's salary, so, I can't.

I'm sorry.
I cannot do it.

- I'm really upset to hear that.
- Hang on. Sasha, just.

Gary, can I talk to you for a second?

What?

- You gotta take the job.
- I can't.

How are we gonna pay for Louise program?

I don't know. Gary, we'll figure it out.
We'll save, we'll stretch.

I don't know, but you gotta do it.

It'll make you really happy.

Is this a trap?

No, look. You may not believe this
but I want you to be happy.

And not just because I care about you.

But because if you're happy, Gary,

the family is happy.

And what could be more inspiring
to the kids than seeing their dad

doing something he loves?

We're just gonna make it work.

Yeah, this... This has "trap"
written all over it.

Hey, guys, listen.

I'm sorry. I really tried,
but he doesn't want to do it.

What? He's giving this up?
This is the chance of a lifetime.

I can't believe he's turning this down.

Which is why I'm not throwing it away.
I'm messing with you! I'm doing it!

- I am your new sports guy.
- This is so great!

Please, feel free to call in
as often as you like, all right?

Do you guys think you can find
something to fight about every day?

Gee, I don't know.
It might be a little rough, but

we'll get it together once
the cameras are rolling.

But it's not cameras, Gary. It's radio.

I knew you were gonna say that.
The second I said the word "camera,"

I knew you were gonna correct
me in front of my friends.

This is... This is perfect.

This is perfect.
I love it.

Welcome aboard.

Well, congratulations, Gary.

- You finally got your own show.
- I got my own show!

Just like we said.
Man, it's gonna be you and me.

All right? You're gonna be the hot dog
to my bun. But not like that.

I gotta thank you.

If you weren't a royal pain in my ass,
my dream never would have come true.

No! Oh, my god, this is terrible!

Oh, my god.
What?

I can't believe this is how it ends!

What?

- Honey, you don't like the ending?
- Oh, god!

Gary, call the doctor.
He's crying. He's crying.

All right, that's enough now.
Tommy, I'm coming in now.

Come on.
Enough's enough. I'm com...

Gary, do lave.
That could be very damaging right now.

Oh, my gosh. You won't believe what
he's been doing in here.

He's reading "bridges
of madison county."

I didn't want anyone to know.

- Honey, that's, like, the saddest book.
- Yeah, I know.

- And dad said it had a happy ending.
- All right.

That's a relief. Isn't it?

Yeah, It's Kinda weird he's reading
that book in the bathroom.

I hope when he does the other thing,
he doesn't start doing in the library.

Team Subs-Addicts"

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0