All language subtitles for For.the.Love.of.George.2018.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-pawel2006_Subtitles01.en

[meows]

♪

♪

[male narrator]
...Britain's most rare
songbirds,

such as the bearded tit.

[slow jazz playing]

[car approaches]

[car drives off]

[cell phone chiming]

Hey, where are you?

[man]
Didn't you get my text?

One of the locals reported
a sighting

of the bearded tit,

so we thought, if we went
into the woods now,

there's a good chance we
may spot it for ourselves.

Oh, I made dinner.

Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

I didn't think we were doing
anything special,

so I headed straight out
from the office.

Perhaps you could put it
in the fridge.

We can have it tomorrow night?

Well, it's your birthday.

You should do what you want.

So go off and find
those tits, then.

Thanks for understanding,
darling.

Oh, don't wait up.

[phone chiming]

You were joking,
weren't you?

-You're in the driveway.
-[man] Well, that's taken
care of.

Poppy's so naive.

Her idea of a wild night

-is a medium-rare steak dinner.
-Hello.

Stephen, are you there?
Can you hear me?

She thinks I'm bird watching,

so I think I can get away
with staying the night.

[woman]
Ooh, I know a few things
we could do

that will last all night.

[Stephen, chuckling]
Handcuffs again?

[woman]
Come here and I'll show you.

[Stephen]
That's what I love about you.

So adventurous.

-You naughty girl.
-[woman giggling]

[Stephen laughs]

[both kissing, moaning]

[Stephen]
Shit, my phone!

♪

♪ Said you were gonna take me

♪ Where I've never been
before ♪

♪ Other side of midnight

Poppy? Can we talk?

Happy birthday, darling.

Drink?

[glass shatters,
car alarm blaring]

♪ Never know
if you'll come home ♪

♪ In more than just one...

Wait, I can explain.

♪ So hard to leave...

Is that supposed to be
a bearded tit?

♪ So hard to stay

♪ Sometimes it's undecided

♪ Sometimes it's...

Employee of the year.

-How about wanker of the year?
-[trophy crashes]

I worked really hard for that.

And I worked way too hard
for this.

Poppy!
[banging on door]

Poppy!

♪ Help me walk away

[knocking on window]

[Stephen]
Poppy.

It's raining
and I'm getting soaked.

[phone rings]

Poppy, I'm locked out.

You know how my hair goes
curly in the rain.

-[phone ringing]
-Poppy, for God's sake,

be an adult about this.

-[knocking on window]
-[voice mail beeps]

[man]
Hey, princess.
It's Justin.

Pick up if you're there.

I'm sitting by the pool
with a margarita

thinking it's about time

you came out to L.A.
to visit.

I miss you.
Bye, sweetie.

Oh, and happy birthday,
Stephen,

you handsome devil.

-[voice mail beeps]
-[Stephen] Poppy.

[woman]
George Clooney
and fluffy animals?

Yes, George Clooney

visited a Los Angeles
animal shelter

over the weekend
to adopt a rescue dog.

-[woman] And the generous star
-[knocking on window]

...made sure he
and his new canine pal

hit it off right away
by, get this,

rubbing meatballs on his shoes.

[man]
Not surprisingly,

the pair bonded immediately

and have been
inseparable since.

This guy just gets
nicer and nicer.

Much like myself Ashley.

[laughs]

[woman]
The renowned bachelor

is at home in L.A.

promoting his next movie,

and we'll have a sneak peak

on tomorrow's show.

[knocking on window]
Poppy!

♪ I gotta find me something

♪ To keep me running

♪ Keep me on my toes
till the break of dawn ♪

♪ Something to fill my heart

♪ And keep it thumping

♪ Keep me reaching
and never close the door ♪

♪ Well you can sit and wait

♪ Till you're 88

♪ But that don't do you
no good ♪

♪ I wanna get up on my feet

♪ I know my life
won't be complete ♪

[Poppy]
Well, that's that.

Maybe this is fate.

I'm going to find George,

and everything
will just fall into place.

♪ Wait till you're 88

♪ But that don't do you
no good ♪

♪ I wanna get up on my feet

♪ I know my life
won't be complete ♪

♪ Until I find me something

♪ To keep me humming

♪ Keep me singing
and strumming forever ♪

♪ Keep me singing
and strumming forever ♪

♪ Keep me singing
and strumming forever more ♪

-Poppy.
-Justin.

[Justin laughing]

Finally,
after all these years,

you come visit.
Look at you.

Oh, don't.
I look terrible.

Nothing that a week's sleep

and a makeover can't fix.

Leave the bags.
I'll get them later.

Wow, this is sexy.

[chuckles]
Yep.

Oh, and this is Irina.

She helps me out
around the house.

Irina, this is my friend
from England

I was telling you about.

Planned her wedding
when I lived there,

ooh, too many years ago.

We bonded over karaoke

and our mutual love of
power ballads from the '80s.

So why you leave your husband?

He no good at the sex?

Irina.

Actually, it turns out
he was good at the sex,

just not with me.

You need love
of good Russian man.

You will meet my friend Anton.

He show you good time.

Thanks, Irina,
but I think Poppy's good.

Maybe you should meet Anton.

[chuckles]

Oh, I've not seen
this photo in years.

Sorry, I should've taken
that down.

Although I do love the way
my cheekbones look.

The photographer thought
you'd had a stroke,

and the guests kept referring
to you as my "special friend."

I'm not sure why you had
to try out a new smile
in my wedding photos.

I thought it was a winner.

So are we your first divorce?

At least you made it
down the aisle.

I spent six months last year

working on the most amazing
Black Swanthemed wedding,

and the bride
didn't even show up.

Probably had the right idea.

Oh, don't say that.

[Justin]
And you never
suspected a thing?

Well, he'd recently taken up
bird watching.

Bird watching.

Exactly.

Especially as he has
a feather phobia.

[cell phone vibrates]

Sorry, hold on.

It's my boss.

She's texted me ten times

in the past 30 minutes.

God forbid I have a night off.

When are you going to start up
on your own again?

You've been talking
about it forever.

I know. I know.

Paolo was always saying
the same thing to me.

Why exactly did you
and Paolo break up?

I don't want to talk about it.

It's just too painful
to relive.

He cheated on me.

Okay, fine,
maybe I cheated on him first,

but he should've been
the bigger person
and forgiven me

instead of being like me

and betraying me.

Anyway, we're talking
about me again.

Let's talk about you.

I should've seen it coming,

all those late nights
at the office,

lack of romance,

not to mention sex.

It's all such a big mess.

Hey, I know a great therapist.

She's relationship expert
to the stars.

Maybe you
should go see her.

I'll be fine.

I'm only here two weeks.

Which stars?

Yeah, yeah, he just left,

Beliebit or not.

He's back with her.
I know.

Hold on a sec.

Hi, I'm Poppy Wakefield here
to see Dr. Faye.

Poppy. Weird name, huh?

[chuckles]

Fill out these forms.

Just make sure they're signed.

Anita, are you still there?

Okay, guess who just called
to make another appointment?

No. No.

Who's that?

Uh, no. Yeah. Yeah.

Charming though he is,

he can't seem
to hold down a woman.

Dr. Faye's working
on his commitment issues.

I'm like, "I'll take him
issues and all."

-He can hold me down.
-[phone rings]

Oh-- Oh, hold on a sec.

Yes, doctor?

I'll let her know.

Poppy, Dr. Faye
will see you now.

Thanks.

Just out of curiosity,

I couldn't help but overhear.

Who were you talking about?

I couldn't possibly say.

That would be a breach
of client confidentiality.

Of course.

Anita? Okay,
so you'll never guess
who just had a vaginaplasty.

Tell me,
when did your obsession
with celebrity begin?

I'm not obsessed
with celebrity.

So this is
a Clooney-specific obsession.

I'm not obsessed.

[Poppy thinking]
I mean, who doesn't love
George Clooney?

I'll never forget
the first time

I saw those big brown eyes

and winning smile.

So handsome.

He's a good guy who really
cares about the world.

Funny, smart.

Why wouldn't I be able
to date him?

Cries you and 50 million
other women.

Have you ever met George?

[Poppy thinking]
Is that a yes?

I think that's a yes!

[door opens]

Morning, sweetie.
Whatcha doing?

Working.

This article's due tomorrow.

Does Women's Chitchat Magazine
know you're here?

No, it shouldn't matter.

I do most of my work
from home now anyway.

So what's this week's story?

"My Husband Left Me
For My Dog."

No, it's about a woman
trying to get over the death
of her father.

She turned to bananas
to help her.

Bananas?

Does the potassium help with
the depression or something?

She collects those little
stickers that are on them.

Bananas were her dad's
favorite food.

It's actually
really heart-wrenching.

It's actually really lame.

[phone chiming]

Oh, Stephen.

I don't want
to talk to him.

Okay, stop what you're doing.

I'm going to take you out.

We're going to the Farmers
Market, you'll love it.

You're wooing me
with fruits and veggies?

Yep, so get dressed.

I'm just going to stay here
and get this out of the way.

Suit yourself. Although going
to the Farmers Market

is like an L.A. staple.

Plus I see the best sightings.

I saw George Clooney there
last week,

and he walked by,
and I was like,

"Does George Clooney want me
to say, 'Hey, George Clooney,

Doug Ross, ER,thumbs up,'

like does he want me"--

Decided to come after all.

[no audible dialogue]

Poppy, this juice is like
an enema in a cup.

Nothing says breakfast
like an enema.

Now, I put a little bit
of honey in there

so you get
a sweet aftertaste.

Here, why don't you try
my latest--

Oh, no, I'm fine.
Thank you.

Oh, an Aussie.

I always wanted to visit

[in Australian accent]
the land down under.

That's very good,
but I'm English,

not Australian.

Ah, they all sound
the same, huh?

You know, I always wanted
to scuba the Great Barrier Reef

and meditate
[in English accent]
below the equator.

You should do that.

Am I tasting hints of fennel?

Yeah, with fresh rhubarb.

Listen, I know you don't wanna
try my juice, but...

[in Cockney accent]
maybe a spot of tea, 'ey?

You can't possibly think
that's what I sound like.

You are really cute.

No, I'm not.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Look, why don't you try
my ginger passion iced tea?

It's got
fresh mint leaves and ginger.
It's for digestion.

And has passion for...

uh, well, you know.

No, I-- I'm marrie-- uh.

Oh, well, it's nice
to meet you, Mary.

[woman]
That's him.
Oh, my God, look.

Look, it's him.

You don't like my tea.

I like your tea.

Bye, Mary.

Bye.

So I might not have seen
George that time,

but I still just have
this feeling

that we're going to meet.

Isn't he in a relationship?

He's always in a relationship.

But it's not like he's married
or anything.

I mean, he's 52?

I think if he was going
to settle down again,

he would've done it by now.

The eternal bachelor.

Maybe he just hasn't found
the right one.

I just feel a connection.

But you've never met him.

What about dating sites?

People have connections there,

and they've never met.

And then they murder you.

[Poppy thinking]
Wow, she must've had

some pretty bad
dating experiences.

Celebrities get put
on these pedestals,

but they're only people.

It's not out of the realms
of possibility

that if we met,
we'd hit it off.

Maybe I just need to give fate
a helping hand.

Wow, Poppy, a bottle of wine
to say thank you for letting me
stay would be fine,

but thanks,
I'll take them all.

Casamigos-- isn't that
George Clooney's tequila?

Well, I'm doing
an article on it,

so I got it for research.

You are not.

Oh, yeah?

[speaks foreign language]

[Poppy]
Yeah, hi,

I'm calling to cover

the next Casamigos
tequila event in L.A.

[coughing]

Yes, I write for the
prestigious U.K. publication,

Women's Chitchat.

-It's a highbrow magazine.
-[coughing]

And they're really keen
for me to cover the event.

Possibly get an interview
with George Clooney

about why he wanted
to develop his own tequila?

Right, okay.
Well, no problem.

I'll try you again.

Tomorrow.

It's good.

[Justin coughing]

George Clooney
has been seen out and about

hitting the road in L.A.

on his beloved
Harley Davidson.

Yes, he's fast on the road...

-[motor rumbling]
-[heavy metal playing]

My one Friday off in weeks,
and you bring me here.

I know you're
a tourist and all,

but this is
a really random request.

I know.
This is my treat.

I would've worn my chaps if
you'd given me the heads up.

We look slightly out of place.

We fit in just fine.

Hello.

I do have to say
I'm proud of you

for breaking out
of your comfort zone.

Haven't seen you
this loosened up

since you were wasted
on tequila shots

and ripping your shirt off
singing "Take My Breath Away."

Stephen was mad at me for that.

Apparently I didn't take
his breath away.

Look at the photos
on the wall.

Those must be the regulars.

John Travolta, Hugh Jackman,

George Clooney.

Oh, really?

[chuckles]

[man]
Hey, George.

Do you have
a specialty cocktail list?

-[woman] Poppy.
-Hi, Sharon.

Were you going to tell me
you were skipping town?

[Poppy]
How did you find out?

Someone called
the office from...

Casamigos Tequila,

saying that
one of our journalists

wanted to cover
their party in L.A.

They called?
What did you say?

I told them we're
a bloody woman's magazine.

Why the hell would we be
covering a tequila event?

I just thought it would be--

I heard about you and Stephen.

Who told you?

He came here looking for you.

Look, I don't want this
to bleed into your work.

Keep your personal life
personal,

and don't turn
into a bitter Betty.

-[Poppy] I'm not bitter.
-Really?

You should be.

I'd be so pissed if my husband
cheated on me with the nanny.

It wasn't the nanny.

We don't have a nan--
we don't even have kids.

Oh, I-- I just assumed.

Maybe it's different
in England.

Here it's always the nanny.

Okay, maybe our marriage
hasn't been that exciting
lately.

[Poppy thinking]
Unless you count Stephen
discovering nose hair trimmers.

And how long have you felt
like this?

I don't know exactly.

Just seems
that everything's changed.

Even the coffee shop started
putting two shots in the lattes.

Just got increasingly bitter.

Your relationship
with your husband.

No, the coffee.

So what do you do
when you realize
the coffee tastes bitter?

Change your coffee shop.

Exactly.

That's what I'm doing.

I'm changing my coffee shop.

Metaphorically.

[Stephen, on voice mail]
It's me again.

I know I made a mistake.
Will you at least hear me?

You okay?

Mm-hmm.

It's going to be weird
to go back, huh?

-Yeah.
-[computer phone chiming]

-Sally.
-Tell her hello for me.

[Sally]
You've come out of hiding.

We're all worried
about you, Poppy.

Well, you shouldn't be.

I'm fine.

Justin's taking
great care of me.

Hi, Sally.
Been too long.

Hi, Justin.

Will you please tell my sister
that running away

isn't how you make
a marriage work.

Oh, sorry, my conscience
is calling me.

Hello?

Well, neither is creating
an elaborate bird watching hobby

as a cover for an affair.

It wasn't his finest moment.

Ironically, it was.

It's the most exciting thing
he's done in years.

I'm just saying--
12 years of marriage.

Is this really the end?

At least let him pick you up
from the airport.

I'm not sure I'm ready
to leave.

Poppy, you've had
your adventure.

Now it's time to return
to real life.

This isn't you.

How do you know?

You're predictable.

I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
The connection's terrible.

I said it's time
to come home.

-Still can't hear you.
-Poppy.

Please let everyone know
I'm extending my trip.

Poppy--

Okay, seriously,

I know she's your sister,

but I was ready to smack her.

You sure I can stay?

Yes, I like having you here,

but we gotta get you
some friends.

The Black Swanwedding
is back on,

and my schedule
is going to be cray-cray.

I know! You should meet
Marcy Campbell.

She's from Texas
and new in town.

I did her wedding.

She's real fun, heart of gold,

but she just hasn't met
anyone here yet.

You two will hit it off.

Poppy Wakefield.

It's so lovely to meet you,
Marcy.

[gasps]
I love the British accent.

So darlin'.

Say something in British.

Um, Justin said
you moved here recently.

[squeals]
I love it.

So...

[in English accent]
...proper.

Have you been
to Downton Abbey?

[laughs]

N-No, it's not a real place.

So Justin tells me
you're having
a Thelma & Louisemoment?

-No, did he?
-Honey, we all go
through those.

Since the big move,
I've been tempted
to just pack up the car and--

Drive off a cliff?

I was gonna say have me
a girly road trip,

but there's days
I wanna do that, too.

Preferably running over
Jerry's body on the way,

but that's marriage for ya.

How long
have you been married?

Coming up...

Four months.

I'm so thrilled
Justin set us up.

I met a couple of people
at spin,

but they were too clean living
for my likin'.

I mean, I never trust
a person who doesn't drink.

I just don't.

Me neither.

L.A. is such
a transient town.

Doesn't help when you're
trying to make friends.

But you've got Jerry.

Who?

I only see him when we got some
partners' dinner to attend.

I know it well.
The "Honey, I'm meeting
someone important tonight,

so put on a nice dress
and tell the story of
how we met" kind of nights?

Oh, my gosh, you too?

[sighs]
Actually we're hosting
something next week.

Some political
fundraiser thing,
I lose track.

That famous Austrian chef
is doing the catering,

and apparently the governor

and George Clooney are coming.

I mean, in between
my bouts of fainting,

what am I supposed to say to--

George Clooney
is attending a party

that you're hosting?

Next week!

Oh, I'm a Texas girl.

I got a big mouth
and big hair,

but not the biggest knowledge
of what's going on in the world.

How the heck am I gonna
play host to movie stars,
politicians?

Marcy,
you've got to invite me.

You've just got to.

I've got years of experience
accompanying Stephen
to business dinners.

I could help you
with what to say.

You'd come?
It's next Wednesday.

Oh, I'll have to check my
sched-- of course I'll come.

[gasps]
Oh, Poppy,

I feel like it's fate we met.

I feel it absolutely
most definitely is.

[squeals]

[Poppy]
I might've played this moment

over and over again in my mind,

but I never thought
of this one last hurdle.

What does one wear
when meeting the destined
love of one's life?

Poppy, calm down, okay?

I mean, if I hear about you
on TMZ next week,

I'll know you didn't
heed my advice

about not setting
unrealistically high
expectations.

[Poppy thinking]
What? I might be on TV

and meet George Clooney?

What's unrealistic?

All I expect is
a chance encounter

with the man of my dreams,

and him finding out
I'm the woman of his.

Exactly.

Marcy, I need your help.

This is nice.

Honey, no.

You belong under
a Christmas tree.

[sighs]

♪ Slip my high heels on

[squeals]
I love it.

Get it, girl!

♪ And it won't be long

I love it.

You're joking.

[laughing]

♪ I'm getting close to you

[roars]

♪ 'Cause I'm never gonna live
it... ♪

Maybe.

Whose funeral
are you going to?

♪ Let's go

♪ Dance slow

♪ Oh, no, no, no, no

Oh, I love it.

I love it.

♪ We're gonna shama lama,
lama, lama, lama, hey ♪

♪ We're gonna swing it
the old fashioned way ♪

♪ Sha la la la la

Justin.

Justin.

-[Justin] Hey.
-It's me. I'm locked out.

I left my keys
inside the apartment.

Can you let me in?

I'm not at home.

I'm still at the florist

with Bosszilla
and a couple of swans.

[sighs]
Justin, I've got to get
ready for the party.

I've only got two hours.

And I have to work.

I can't just leave.

It's George Clooney.

Look, Justin.
I'm sorry to be a pain, but--

Honey, I love you,
and, boy, do I love him,

but unless you're gonna get
George to fund my own company,

you have as much a chance
as he did in space

to get me to come home.
I'll call the landlord.

[imitating Edward R. Murrow]
Good night and good luck.

[phone chiming]

Is he coming?

[Stephen] It's me.
Please don't hang up.

We need to talk.

I've got nothing
to say to you.

I know. I know, Poppy,
I'm a fool.

I just-- I just think
that our marriage

hasn't really been spicy
for years.

-And then this woman
came along and I--
-What?

I don't have time for
this right now, Stephen.

You came!

Of course the landlord
is out of town.

I literally had to fake
diarrhea to come here.

So, Cinderella,
we will get you to the ball.

Damn it.

Oh, thank you, thank you,
thank you.

You're not coming in?
I could really use your eye.

Honey, this is already
the longest bathroom break
in history.

Believe me, if I could,
I would handcuff myself to you

so I can meet him, too.

Don't turn into a pumpkin
at midnight.

♪ Tell me your secret

♪ I'll tell you mine

♪ Slide yourself over here

♪ I'll bring the wine

♪ 'Cause you got
that something something ♪

♪ That I like

♪ Just lay back
and let it happen ♪

♪ It's only for tonight

♪ It's only for tonight

♪ It's only for tonight...

I'm setting off now,

so I'm only going to be,
like, an hour late.

You know, fashionably late.

♪ Caught up in the moment

♪ I'm lost in this feeling

♪ Driven my emotions

[music fades]

You here for Poppy?

-Yeah.
-Really?

Welcome aboard
the Donnie-mobile.

Want some water or anything?

Just throw this in the back
with the tickets.

I think this is still good.

[engine grinds, backfires]

[Donnie]
How you doing?

[Poppy]
Great. Just late
for a party.

Don't they make you have new
cars for this kind of job?

Oh, yeah, but they don't check.

Don't you worry.
Donnie will get you
to your party in style.

What's that smell?

Do you smell something?

[coughing]

[cell phone chiming]

Hi.

Poppy, where are you?

Sorry, I had to wait forever
for a car 'cause of the rain.

And now I'm on my way,

and Donnie is getting me
there nice and safely.

[doorbell rings]

[gasps]

That'll be him.

-It's him?
-It's him!

Marcy, don't panic.

I gotta go.

Will you just get here?

I'll see you soon.

[snores]

Excuse me.
Wake up.

Donnie! Donnie!

What? What? What? What?

-You fell asleep.
-I'm okay. I'm okay.

-[tires squeal]
-It's all right. It's okay.

Everything's fine.
It's all good.

It's all good.

I'm okay.
It's all good.

I just took a few too many
sleeping pills last night.

You have a sleeping problem?

I-- I got a lot of anxiety.

Yeah, I kinda know
how you feel.

Yeah, they took away
my driver's license.

-What?
-Yeah, but I'm gonna
work it out.

It's all good.
It's all good.

You're probably wondering
if the sleeping pills,

you know,
have worn off by now,

which is probably,
usually the case,

but I went to bed
at 4:00 a.m.,

took the sleeping pills,
and then, as soon as I got up,

I smoked a couple of bowls,
and plus I'm heavily medicated
anyway,

but I think
it's gonna work out--

Um, actually,
I think we're here.

-Oh, no, no, this isn't
the address you gave me.
-I think this is it.

-This is the one.
-This is not the address
you gave me.

-Yep, this is it.
This is the place.
-No, it's not.

Just over here.
Yeah, no, no, no, no.

No, no, this is it.
Yes, this is it.

-Yes.
-I'm sure it's...
I don't.

Okay, okay.
Hey, be safe.

No, you be safe.

Okay.

[gears grinding]

♪ I've been waiting for ya

♪ I gotta find ya

♪ I've been trembling

♪ At the thought of

♪ Your touching

♪ I'm gonna find you

-Marcy.
-Poppy! Where are you?

Have you talked to him?

Yes, and I've already
shamed myself

asking about ERand Batman

when everyone else
is talking about Gravity
and The Monuments Men.

Poppy, you said you'd be here.

And I will.

♪ Only got a way to go now

♪ Ooh

♪ I've been waiting for ya

[Poppy] Marcy,
I'm biking up the hill
right now.

Why in God's name
are you dong that?

It's ok, I'm less than
two miles away.

Would you like some coffee?

♪ Searching for ya

♪ I might just

♪ Track you down

♪ I'm gonna have ya

♪ In the palm of my hand

♪ I'm gonna find ya

♪ Oh, don't you run

♪ Ooh, don't you run

Oh, thank you so much.

♪ Ooh, don't you run

Where is he?

He left 20 minutes ago.

-No.
-Look.

This is his glass.

He drank from this.

[Poppy]
It's like that weird feeling

you get as a child
on Christmas morning.

You knew Santa
had been right there.

He drank from that glass
of brandy you left,

but you didn't get
so much as a glimpse.

Magical yet horrifically
gut-wrenching

at the same time.

I know it sounds stupid,

but it's like looking
for George gives me a purpose,

a reason not to think about
what's going on in my life.

Do you think perhaps
focusing on George

gives you a purpose,

a reason not to think about

the problems
you're experiencing
with your husband?

That's what I just said.

[Poppy thinking]
How much am I paying
this woman?

Am I crazy?

Well, the good news
is you're not crazy.

I mean, who hasn't fantasized
about a dream life

away from their own reality?

I mean, after all, George.

He's so sexy.
I'd fuck him.

[Poppy thinking]
Who wouldn't?

[cell phone chiming]

[chiming continuing]

Hello?

Hey, where are you?

I thought you were going
to stay home

to sign for the blood
for the vampire wedding.

They just called and said
there was nobody home.

The driver left.

Sorry, I was still in bed.

I didn't hear them ring.

Seriously?
My boss is kicking my ass,

and you're sleeping in again?

I'm s-sorry.
I've just been--

Miserable. I know.

For days.
Over a party.

Look. I'll make sure I'm here
the rest of the day

-if they can redeliver.
-It's too late.

I'm on my way
to pick it up now.

If I'm not there soon,

it won't be fake blood
at the wedding.

It'll be mine.

[phone chimes]

Ugh, you no get up today?

Go away.

You got George Clooney
under there?

Would I look like this

if I had?

And no,
I'm not getting up today

or tomorrow or ever again.

Okay, I'll leave you.

Irina, why is life
so difficult?

Why can't someone
just give you a map
and directions?

For Clooney?

You buy star map on corner.

No, like a manual for life.

Wish that somebody
could just tell me
what to do.

You should see my friend,
Madam Nina.

If she runs a brothel
or something weird,
I'm not interested.

She help you with map
and directions.

She see things.
Universe.

Like a psychic?

Yes.

She can see future.

I don't believe in psychics.

They're just
for the sad and desperate

looking to latch on to any scrap
of hope they can get.

[knock on door]

Are you Madam Nina?

Oh, no, I'm Psychic Sara.

Madam Nina had to leave town

due to an unforeseen
family emergency.

[laughs]
The irony.

It happens.

I've never done anything
like this before.

I'm just looking
for guidance,

a sign or something.

[chuckles]
We could all use guidance
from the other side

from time to time,

and that's what
Psychic Sara's here for.

I just need to know
that I'm on the right path,

if where I'm going
is leading me to someone.

It'll be $50
for a half-hour session,

and I prefer to be paid
up front.

Of course.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Mmm.

Well?

You've traveled over land
and sea to get here today.

Yes.

Hmm.

Did someone just tell you that?

No, you have an accent.

Oh, right, yeah.

But you have gone on a very
great emotional journey.

And you are in the process

of just beginning to learn
who you really are.

Kind of.

Mm-hmm.

But what about men?

Do you see any men in my life?

Yes.

I see a lifelong
male companion,

someone generous
and compassionate,

terrific sense of humor.

It's-- It's starts
with like a jeh--

Juh?

J-Jeh... jeh...

-Jeh... jeh.
-Jeh... jeh.

Jeh... jeh.

-[stammers]
-He's very flamboyant.

J-Justin.

Not him.

Do you see any, like, men,
like love, romance?

No.

Well, think
before you just say it.

No. No men.

Haven't you got, like,
a crystal ball

or something that actually
gives you right answers?

It's 50 bucks extra.

Of course it is.

Mmm.

Oh.

Ah.

Oh.

Ah, just like I thought.
No men right now.

I just gave you $50 to find
a man in your ball,

and now you're telling me
there's no man?

That's right.

Well, it must be broken
because there is a man,

and we were meant to meet,
so I just need to know

if I'm still going to find him
or what this all means,

but you can't tell me
'cause your stupid ball--

-Stop.
-Probably just
a paperweight anyway.

-It's weird.
-I bet your name's
not even Psychic Sara.

It's probably just... "Sara."

It's Sarah.

Sorry.

Getting too old
for this shit.

Psychic Sara just told me
there's no men in my life.

[chuckles]

I love the British
sense of humor.

I wasn't joking.

Who are you?

Alvin Cooney.

I'm a producer.

People just call me Cooney,
though.

Cooney.

Close enough.

Can we get another
jalapeño margarita

for this young lady?

See? That was sweet.

You saw my drink
was almost empty

and observed what I was having.

Stephen used to do that
when we were first dating.

Well, I'm here now,
beautiful.

A man hasn't called me that
in years.

At least not a straight man.

Well, you must be hanging
around a lot of blind
straight guys.

So, Cooney,

what do you think Sara meant,

that I'm going to be a lonely
divorced woman for the rest
of my life?

How long you been divorced?

Well, technically I'm not yet.

Shh don't tell
the husband.

Your secret's safe with me.
[chuckles]

Have you ever been
to Lake Como?

Right now it's all
about lemurs,

but I see that
totally changing.

It's gonna be-- It's gonna be
all about llamas.

I love a good llama.

Exactly. I'm working on
this beautifully-written film

that has a really, really
strong llama protagonist.

Deep, complex,
protagonistic llamas.

[chuckles]

It should be a psychic llama,

that's shit at
seeing the future.

You know, I could totally
see you playing
the leopard antagonist.

You know, your voice--
your voice is gonna--

is gonna make you a star.

I don't wanna be a star.

Yes, you do.

Everybody wants to be a star.

Hey, easy.

Stop it.

Get off me, you big letch.

Hey, I'm not the one
who throws herself at
a highly successful producer,

hoping to sleep their way
to the top.

All right? You get
a reputation in this town,

people will not touch you.

I don't wanna make it
in this town,

you big cliché.

God, I didn't know people
like you actually existed.

Keep yourself together.

You're a mess.

And that llama idea
is copyrighted.

[clicks]

[buttons clicking]

[man on TV]
So it looks as though
the eternal bachelor

could finally be
settling down.

I don't think any of us
saw that coming.

Congratulations, George.

And coming up
after the break,

we'll be taking a look
at what the weather

has in store
for us this week.

The couple was spotted
together over the weekend,

and according to reports,

she was seen sporting
an engagement ring.

Reliable sources close
the couple confirmed,

this is it, ladies.

He's off the market for good.

George Clooney
is getting married.

[screams]

What is it?

-What the hell happened?
-He's getting married!

-Stephen?
-No, George!

[sighs]
You did not wake me up
at 3:00 a.m.

over George Clooney!

I thought if I came to L.A.,
I just might meet him.

Oh, my-- seriously, Poppy.
You sound nuts.

I love you but you're
on my last nerve.

I can't take it.

Your moping and "Woe is me"

and the inconsideration
of my work.

You sound just like Stephen.

Well, if this is what
he had to put up with,

it's no wonder that he
turned to bird watching.

Well, you'd know all
about cheating, wouldn't you?

You're playing the victim
and seem to have conveniently
forgotten

that you cheated on Paolo
before he cheated on you.

You're a hypocrite!

You know what?

I think you should find
another place to stay.

[door slams]

♪ Will you hold my hand

♪ I can hardly see

♪ Will you guide me through

♪ This maze of truth?

♪ Will you get me to

♪ The open field

♪ Where I can breathe

♪ And will you lay me down

♪ Beneath the skies

♪ Will you kiss my face

♪ And steal my eyes

♪ Or is this the place

♪ That we conspire

♪ To fly

♪ While I...

Hey.

Hey.

Didn't think
you'd be up yet.

I got an early start.

Justin, I'm so sorry about
the things I said last night,

how I've been behaving.

I've been a terrible guest,
I know,

and you've been so kind.

I'll be gone
by the time you get home.

[sighs]
Look, you don't have to leave,

but you can't carry on
like this.

-I'm worried about you.
-I know.

I know.

I'm going to get
myself together.
I promise.

Thank you.

♪ Will you tell me what

♪ I mean to you?

♪ Will you lie to me

♪ Like you always do?

♪ Will you be sincere

♪ While you say it, too?

♪ Somehow...

You can't possibly
be having a bad day.

It's only 7:00 a.m.

You're the juice guy.

Oh, yeah. I know you.

Mary from Australia.

Barely recognized you.

Do I look that bad?

No, it's just--

I look so miserable,
I stop runners in their track?

[laughs]
Yeah.

Well, that
and you're kind of cute.

So if I wasn't
you'd have just kept running?

Oh, yeah, I'd have been gone.

"Eh, she'll be fine."

The name's Poppy, actually.

English Poppy.
And you are?

Luke.

♪

♪ San Fernando

♪ Where the skies
are not quite blue ♪

♪ And you don't have to worry
about an ocean view ♪

♪ San Fernando

♪ You're far away
from the Golden Gate ♪

Hey. Sorry, I 'm late.

You okay?

Yeah, I just...

I wasn't sure
you were going to turn up.

Why would I not turn up?

I don't know.
It's my first date in years.

This is a date, right?

Yes, this is a date.

Come on.

Do you like this?

Yeah, it's lovely.

I knitted it myself.

Really?

You knit?

Yeah, something so meditative

about a man's hands
around needle and yarn.

It's like a symphony.

Wow, you're full
of surprises.

Yeah.

So what did you bring?

I'm starving.

Well, I have a surprise for you.
Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

Open.

Mm-hm.

This is... interesting.

It's a kale-kelp-quinoa cake.

I made it myself.

Mm, it's delicious.

I'm just, uh, allergic to kale.

That's a very specific
allergy.

Anyway,
I have another surprise
for you.

[in Cockney accent]
A little Vegemite sarnie, eh?

Luke, Vegemite is Australian.

No.

I could've sworn
that it was English.

It's fine. I actually do love
a Vegemite sandwich.

It's on my favorite
spelt bread.

Look. Duck over there.

Yeah, it's diving.

It's good, right?

This is so thoughtful
of you.

It's easy to be thoughtful

when you care about someone.

[Poppy]
I know I talked about fate
and meeting George,

but I really do believe,
this whole time

I was destined to meet Luke.

Don't you think this
still plays into your desire

for fantasy...

[Poppy thinking]
Blah, blah, blah,

...reality?

He saved me.

I knew you wanted
to be saved.

♪ You can stop for me
and I'm speechless ♪

♪ Open up to speak
and I'm breathless ♪

♪ Something 'bout you, boy,
you've got it all ♪

♪ Ah

♪ So how did we get to

♪ This, steal
a lovers kiss ♪

♪ Chasing hearts underneath
the moonlit sky ♪

♪ I never thought
we'd get so high ♪

♪ And I've fallen every time

♪ Make a wish and take me
to the magic of the night ♪

♪ The stars all fell in line

♪ Love and fate collide

♪ Stars all fell in line

[Luke]
You get the candles,

I'm going to get the incense,

and Poppy is going
to be so surprised.

Hey, you,
what are you doing here?

I was going to check on
an aerial yoga class nearby.

Thought that I'd come
and take you.

That's a lovely thought,

but you go.

Perhaps we can do our own kind
of yoga later at your place.

That is what
I am talking about.

[cell phone chiming]

Oh, that's my boss.

I'll see you later.

Okay, goddess.

Poppy! I see you're having
a breakdown

and have gone and got
yourself a toy boy.

Oh, God, who told you that?

We're Facebook friends.

Oh, yeah.

-I had one in the '80s.
-A toy boy?

No, a breakdown.

Best thing I ever did.

Resigned as housewife

and eventually wound up

editor of
Women's Chitchat Magazine.

So not all bad, then.

How would you like to have
your breakdown

in a weekly column?

Are you joking?

Absolutely not.

It's exactly what
the readers want to see.

It's tragic, yet humorous.

Yeah, that's me,
tragic, all right.

It's relatable.

You'd be the voice of thousands
of downtrodden wives

who would love to have the guts
to do what you did.

I don't know.

I'll double your pay packet.

You might need the extra money
in the divorce.

All right, I'll do it.

Good! And more pictures,
please.

I just love seeing
the weather in L.A.

Oh, and more
of that hunky boy.

[Justin]
This is exactly what I need.

Cheers to new beginnings.

To new beginnings.

Seriously, sweetie,

you didn't really think you
were going to meet George
Clooney here, did you?

No, of course not.

Don't be silly.

Anyway, you said you weren't
going to mention it again.

Well, it's good to have
my friend Poppy back.

Thank you.

I love you.

I love you, too, princess.

I'm just going to write a
couple of lines for the column

whilst I think of them.

Baby's first magazine column.

Are you just gonna watch me?

I'm sorry.
I'm just so proud of you.

You doing your own thing.

It's inspiring.

"They tell me I'm having
a breakdown

just because my husband
had an affair,

and instead of mourning
in misery,

I jetted off to L.A.

If this is the definition
of a breakdown,

I wish I'd
had one years ago."

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ My favorite place

♪ Oh, you take me
where I wanna be ♪

[music continues on radio]

Wow.

Yeah.

This is amazing.

You know,
when I was growing up,

especially in my experimental
teenage years,

I used to come up here

and just collect my thoughts.

This is a very special
place for me.

I wanted to share it with you.

Come on.

[music continuing on radio]

I love the night sky.

Makes me feel so alive.

There's a whole world
out there.

A whole universe.

Mm-hmm.

It's funny. I came here thinking
I was looking for something.

And I found you.

I'm just not sure
where I go from here.

You're not going anywhere.

I feel like
I've known you forever.

You have.

'Cause that is
what soul mates are.

You just get me.

I do.

In fact, this night--

it's just begun.

'Cause I have something
planned for us.

Are we seeing a show
or something?

Shh, no questions.

No questions.

In fact...

I think we have to go.

Thank you.

For everything.

You're welcome.

I'm going to make up
for the romancing

♪ That you have been missing

Now, get in the car.

-It's my chariot.
-[Poppy chuckles]

Are you ready to leave,
my queen?

♪ Turn so rough

♪ And who knew his heart

♪ Could lose such love

♪ Into the night

♪ I let our music play

♪ Into the night

♪ My story...♪

Oh, I had such
a great evening.

You know, I can really
just see myself having
the whole dream with you.

Wow. I should probably get
divorced first.

Look deep into my eyes.

I really want to have intimacy
on a whole new level with you.

I want--

like our animal spirits
to make love.

And I feel that I am

the lion energy.

What do you feel you are?

Um, the llama?

Yes.

You know, maybe I'm moving
too fast with this,

but sometimes you gotta
think with your soul

rather than your--
your head, right?

You gotta just gotta think,
to hell with scaring her off.

I'm ready to take
this relationship
to the next level.

So I'm gonna give you a night
that you are never gonna forget.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Okay.

Close your eyes.

Open.

I wanna film you, me and Irina
in a tantric three-way.

It'll be beautiful.

You insane?

You don't wanna have
threesomes with me?

No, Irina, I don't want to
have threesomes with you.

You tell me she want
threesomes.

He say you need love of
Russian woman to help you
learn good sex.

I need to learn good sex?

You make love beautifully.

I just know that you're
on this whole new kick

of unleashing
your inner wild child.

And I just wanted to do
something nice

for us as a couple.

I thought that
you would be into it.

Well, I'm very sorry
to disappoint you.

It's okay.

You don't have to be sorry.

Not sorry sorry.

And it's not okay.

You were going to have sex
with my boyfriend.

And you. I did for you.

Him, he not my type.

Big misunderstand.

Hey, llama lover.

You're overreacting.

Never say that again.

And take one step closer,

and I'll really unleash
my inner wild child.

Does Justin know about this?

N-No.

No, this-- this be
our little secret.

Keep it that way.

Nice knowing you, Luke.

[door closes]

I mean, would George Clooney
want to film a three-way
sex tape

with me and the cleaner?

Maybe.

No, because he's a gentleman.

[Dr. Faye]
Well, Poppy, nobody's perfect.

I mean, I'm sure
even George Clooney has flaws.

I bet he knows Harry Potter's
not from the land down under.

Luke was hot, though.

[Poppy thinking]
And oh, my goodness,

he did have the most amazing--

-Poppy.
-Hmm?

I think for now you
should focus on yourself.

I mean, you don't wanna rush
into another relationship.

Do you know what?

I think you're right.

I've never had
that "Screw men" moment in life,

but I'm gonna have it now.

Screw men.

It's time to focus my energy
on something more deserving.

Good. Good.

Like what?

What's with the pumpkins?

I figured it out.

I know where I need
to start putting my energy
instead of men.

Vegetables?

No, charity.

We're gonna sell these
to raise money.

It's Halloween soon.

Not that soon, but okay.

It's like, I'm starting
to feel sorry for myself,

and I saw this article
and all the charity work

George Clooney
does in Sudan.

He literally goes
into war zones

to generate attention
and action to stop the war.

Makes me realize I really
can't complain about anything.

Kind of puts it
into perspective, hmm?

Exactly.

So we're going to do
this pumpkin drive,

and I'm going to write
about it for the column.

We?

Where's your costume?

You're meant to be a pumpkin.

So are you.

What happened?

They didn't have
my size pumpkin,

so I thought this was
the next best thing.

Anyway, Thanksgiving's
not far away.

It's not till November.
But you know what?

You're British.
You can get away with it.

[Marcy]
Hey, all!

Ready to sell some pumpkins?

Poppy, what on earth
are you wearing?

You do not look
like a pumpkin.

I'm a turkey.

Don't ask.

Where's your costume?

It clashed with my skin tone.

By I am wearing orange socks.

Wear this.

Right. Let's do this.

People, hear me now

and listen well.

Come and get your pumpkins

from the crazy turkey lady,

who somehow convinced me
to do this on my day off.

All proceeds go to charity.

[Poppy]
Hello.

Why are you dressed
like a chicken?

I'm a turkey.

You look stupid.

Marcy, would you like to serve
this delightful little boy?

I told you it was too early.

Oh, and it's so hot.

[groans]

Justin, will you give me
a hand?

[moans]

That's more like it.

Hey, put your clothes
back on.

You're gonna drive away
all our business.

[no audible dialogue]

Check out the hottie.

-[together] Hi.
-Can I help you?

Oh, it's okay.
I've got this one.

No, no, no, no,
you're all right.

I'll handle this, ladies.

Oh, thanks--

Wow, it looks like you guys
are doing amazing.

You've raised a lot of money.

People have been
very generous.

Tell you what.

I'll double it
if you give me a gobble.

That's disgusting.
Pervert.

Poppy, he means like
the turkey noise.

You know, gobble, gobble.

-Oh.
-Mm-hm.

How about you triple it,
if she gives you a gobble

and I give you a happy ending?

Justin!

I'm so sorry.

We didn't mean to offend.

It's okay,
no offense taken,
and I'm good.

Damn, had to try.

Okay, Poppy,
it's all on you.

Um, I don't really know
how to gobble.

It's like... gobble, gobble.

Gobble, gobble.

[mock laughs]

No, no, it's more like,

Gobble,
gobble-gobble-gobble...

It is not like that.

It is more like,

[trilling]

[all imitating turkey gobbling]

Collectively terrible.

You do the wings, it helps.

Like...
[continues imitation]

This is great.
We raised so much money.

So the turkey costume
was worth it, then.

Well, it definitely
helped us go viral.

What?

I tweeted a picture of us
in costume.

So far almost 5,000 people

have retweeted it.

You tweeted me dressed as
a sweaty inflatable pumpkin?

Oh, who cares
what we look like?

Got people talking
about the Enough Project.

The relief effort led
by the great Halloween
humanitarian turkey.

[computer phone chiming]

Ugh, doom's calling.

Sally.

-Hi, Sally.
-Stephen called.

Why? What did he want?

He said you filed
divorce papers without
even discussing it.

I have discussed it.

With my therapist.

There are two people
in a marriage.

Something went wrong
somewhere.

So it's my fault?

My husband cheats on me but
I must've done something wrong

or it would never
have happened?

[no audible dialogue]

Poppy, you know how fond
she is of Stephen,

and she's just really upset

about all this talk
of you two divorcing.

She's upset?

It's not her husband
that's lying and cheating.

It's mine.

Perhaps you could remind
her of that.

Look, whatever
you decide to do,

we will support you.
You know that.

Yeah, well, you might.

Not so sure about her.

Sorry Peter,
I'm gonna have to go.

No wonder
you don't wanna go back.

Oh, I feel bad leaving you
on your birthday,

but I promise you
we're going to celebrate
tomorrow.

Don't be silly.
The wedding planner
can't miss the wedding.

[sighs]
I'm so over it.

You have such a gift.

You should be fully
expressing it.

Yeah, well, tell my boss that.

Just make sure
you're not on your own.

Irina's around.
You two should get together.

I think I'll be okay.

-Have fun.
-Ugh, I'll try.

[Poppy]
I brought you a cupcake.

I thought you would be
with friends today.

You're a friend.

[Poppy thinking]
Kind of.

Who I pay. A lot.

Justin's working and Marcy's
on a romantic weekend.

Bit different from last year.

Stephen planned dinner.
Got tickets to a West End show.

I actually had
a really lovely evening.

Are you feeling homesick?

Kind of.

I mean, sunshine's nice,

but fall is beautiful
in England.

I have a great group
of friends who I miss.

Some of the husbands
are friends with Stephen.

So that's going to be
interesting.

How are you feeling
about the divorce?

I'll be fine.

[knock on door]

You tell me
what I do to make right.

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

I'm sorry, Poppy.

Luke, he bad person.
He lie--

Look, let's just forget
it ever happened

and be thankful
he's not around anymore.

He have strange eyes,
your husband.

Like a bug.

You know, he called me
all the time at first,

but now he just seems
to have given up.

I mean, I know I told him
not to contact me, but still.

If he right man for you,
he will come,

and he will beg
for you to return.

And if he no do,

in Russia we have a saying.

He break your heart,

we send Uncle Yakov
to break his balls.

He's left me!

Oh, my God, what happened?

He got a last-minute meeting
on the East Coast

and just dropped
our romantic weekend
and left.

I thought meant
he'd left left.

He has!

He's ruined our wine tour.

Ooh, I was madder
than a wet hen,

but then he was all,

"Honey, I'm so sorry.

Take my credit card
and have some fun with Poppy."

So happy birthday!

[squeals]

This is Irina.

Three-way Irina?

We're all right now.

Hello.

[loudly]
Hello, Irina.

I've heard
so much about you.

So, Poppy, we have
to celebrate your birthday.

Where do you want to go?

Vegas? Jerry's paying.

Would you mind
if we just stayed home?

We could have
a nice cozy dinner here.

We've got pumpkins left.
We could have pumpkin soup

and pumpkin pie.

Anything but pumpkins.

Tequila.

[squealing]

I had bad husband in Russia.

I didn't know
you were married.

Da, the reason
I leave and come here.

He cheat with my sister.

He sold all my stuff
to buy crack.

When I told him to leave,

he run over my dog.

♪ Happy birthday to you

[laughing]

I heard there was
a slumber party going on.

You left the wedding.

No. I left the job.

Wait. What?

I was standing there
holding these ridiculous
feather headpieces

for the swan bridesmaids,

my boss was yelling at me,
and I thought,

"WWPD-- What would Poppy do?

She'd just get up and leave
and start fresh."

So it's time to put
my creativity to work.

I'm starting my own company.

Finally!

I'm so happy for you.

And I picked up
a good-bye gift

on the way out.

Now, enough talking.

We celebrate birthday
Russian style.

I'll get shot glasses.

Oh, no, not shots.

Hell, yes, shots!

[laughing, squealing]

[snoring]

Morning, Charlie Chaplin.

[grunting]

Mmm, coffee.

Mmm.

You think she's okay?

Yeah. She's Russian.

They're weaned on vodka.

-[man on TV]
Awkward. That's our thing.
-[changes channel]

Got the novice coming in,
so we're going to go
just in case.

Okay, we'll move.
We're going.

[chattering]

Where is it?
Do you see it?

Yeah, that one was a rocket.

It just sailed over there.

See if we can see what it hit.

I bet George Clooney wouldn't
abandon our romantic weekend.

Or if he did, it would be
to save orphans in Burma
or something.

[knock on door]

I'll get it.

Stephen.

Stephen?

Stephen?

Hey, Poppy.

Uh, can I come in?

Stephen darling,
been too long.

Or should I say,
not long enough.

Justin, fabulous as ever.

Awkward. Come on, Marcy.
We leave.

I can't believe you're here.

Shouldn't we go somewhere
more private?

I'm not kicking Justin
out of his home.

He was there
when we got married.

He can witness
our divorce, too.

I'll just be showering away
my actions from last night.

I had to come.
You wouldn't take my calls.

What do you expect?

You didn't exactly try
very hard, did you?

I've been here for months.

Took you this long
to get on a plane?

I didn't know how to handle it.

I kept thinking,
"She'll come home."

I'm sorry, Poppy.

How could you do it, Stephen?

How could you sleep
with someone behind my back

and blatantly lie to my face?

I mean,
I know things weren't great,

but at least have the decency
to finish it first.

I never meant
for it to happen.

Never meant for it to happen
but let it carry on anyway.

It wasn't like that.

Well, what was it like?

Bird watching.

You must've both had a good
laugh at how gullible I was.

We didn't.
I didn't.

I'm sorry, Poppy.

Do I know her?

How long
has it been going on--

is it still going on?

I met her through work.
It was just a few weeks.

Was she good?

-Poppy.
-Do you love her?

No, of course not.

Well, you're not
the only one.

I met a guy out here, Luke.

He's 29 1/2, and he's hot
and fit and adventurous in bed

and everything you're not.

Hurts, doesn't it?

I just don't think
we can get over this.

You had an affair.

She said
it wasn't a love affair.
It was a midlife crisis.

He tried to rope me into
a threesome with the cleaner.

Look, Poppy,

just know that when
you're ready to come home,

I'll be there.

Is that it?

What?

Was that it?

How many Richard Curtis movies
have I made you sit through?

Notting
Hill,
Four Weddings and a Funeral,
Lovebloody Actually.

Fight for us.
Scream. Shout.

Convince me you can't
live without me.

When did Hugh Grant ever
run up to anyone and say,

"Well, you know, I'm here.
Take your time. No hurry."

Actually, isn't that
what he always does?

Oh, that's not the point.

It's not about Hugh Grant.
It's about you.

Look, Poppy, it might be
like that in your movies,

but it's a little bit
different in real life.

If that's how you feel,

you should've just saved
yourself the air fare.

Have a safe flight home!

[man on TV]
I can't imagine my life
without you.

And I don't want to.

This is making me want
to be in love.

...till the end of time.

But it's fake and too much.

Okay, switching gears,

nothing makes me feel better
than a dip and a tan.

Hmm, sounds good.

This is nice.

We should do it more often.

Totally.

[cell phone ringing]

-Hello.
-Why haven't you returned
my calls?

Oh, hi, Sharon.
Sorry, I was just about
to call you back.

Have you checked
your work emails lately?

Some post of you
in a turkey suit

raising money for charity
has gone viral,

and we're being inundated
with emails.

Now the producers
of the 3:00 Show

have been in touch,
and they want to try you out

presenting a weekly segment!

What? About what?

Divorce. Affairs.

Women's issues.

They like you.

You're joking.

I'm not, but you better get
your ass on a plane
and back to London.

I'm not ready to come
back yet, Sharon.

Of course you are.
It'll be great for the magazine.

No, everything's still--

Seriously, it's a nice offer,
but I can't.

[muttering]
It's all right, sitting there,

rollerblading, smoking pot
on Venice Beach.

[Justin]
Honey, this could be a really
great opportunity for you.

This is the dream.

I know, and I know I'll
have to go back eventually,

but I'm happy here.

I feel as though
I'm finally being me.

[knocking on window]

Stephen!
What, you're still here?

-Can I just--
-Come in.

-Why are you all--
-These-- for you.

-Oh, I can't breathe.
-Here, honey. Some water.

I wanted to tell you
I do want you back.

So I ran.

From the hotel?
Why didn't you just get a cab?

Actually I drove over here.

I ran from the car.
Killed me.

Anyway, it's a romantic gesture,
like in the movies.

I do want to fight for you.
I came to L.A. to get you back,

and it's exactly
what I'm going to do.

I believe this is yours,
Mrs. Wakefield.

I battled rose bushes
for five days looking for that.

Those scars
have only just faded.

[panting]

Let me just grab my things.

Hi, Paolo, it's Justin.

Would you be open to having
dinner with me this week?

I'd love to see you.

♪

Wow, this is great.

[no audible dialogue]

[moans]

[growls]

I've missed you so much.

What have you missed
the most?

Maybe this?

Or maybe this?

Or maybe this?

I've missed everything.

Your cooking, doing
the crossword together.

Making my morning coffee.

I've missed the way
you fold my socks.

Can't wait to get you home.

Go back to just
the way we were.

[Poppy thinking]
Go back to the way we were?

Folding his socks
and cooking his dinner

whilst he plays golf?

He did travel halfway around
the world to get me, though.

And I'm sure all marriages
have their rough patches.

Hang on. That's--

It's George.

Married.

And I... don't... care...

because while
George Clooney

is still living and breathing
in this world,

he will serve as a reminder,

a shining beacon
to women everywhere

that we deserve better.

-Stop.
-[Stephen thuds]

I can't do this.

-What?
-We can't do this.

We've wasted so many years

doing what we think
we should do.

Let's not settle anymore.

-George didn't.
-George who?

Let's spend the rest of our
lives doing what we want to do.

Believe me, Stephen.

You'll thank me
for this one day.

[Stephen]
Who the hell is George?

Poppy!

So it was never
about George Clooney.

It's about not giving up
on happiness,

not settling
for what you've got

just because it seems
the easier option.

Well, this certainly is
a breakthrough, Poppy,

but please
make an appointment

so we can discuss
this further.

No. Thanks, you've been great,

but I'm done talking.

I'm going to start living.

See? I'm that good.

Sharon, it's Poppy.

I'll do it.
I'll do the show.

If other people can learn
from my failed marriage,

bad sex,
and sleazy threesomes,

then--

Oh, could you ask her to call
Poppy when she gets in? Thanks.

And Sharon set me up
with a rooftop photoshoot

for my last L.A. column,

with a little help
from Justin.

Guess who is the new preferred
wedding designer

at the Chic Hotel?

That's fantastic.

I'm so proud of you, Justin.

And I'm so glad
that you and Paolo
are finally back together.

Yeah, well, maybe I wasn't
the perfect partner

I thought I was.

Aw. Yeah, he begged me
to come back.

There's the phone number
for Uncle Yakov.

Any man give you trouble,

you give him a call

and he come break balls
for you.

Thanks, Irina.

A toast to Poppy.

[all together]
To Poppy.

[squealing]

Yay!

Oh, they look great.
Perfect for the last column.

Ms. Wakefield,

your car's ready downstairs
whenever you are.

Is there anything else
you need from me?

No, that's brilliant.
Thanks.

[cell phone chimes]

[George Clooney's voice]
Going down?

Uh, no, I'll get the next one,
thanks.

All right.
Have a nice day.

[elevator music plays]

♪ There's a certain sound

[Clooney]
Back to the airport, Carlos.

No rest for the handsome,
I guess. Huh?

-Oh.
-[Clooney chuckling]

♪ When you're close to me

Not again.

♪ You will hear it

♪ It's the sound that lovers

♪ Hear when they discover

-♪ There could be no other♪
-[laughing]

♪ For their love

♪ It's my happy heart
you hear ♪

-♪ Singing loud
and singing clear♪
-[laughing continues]

♪ And it's all because
you're near ♪

♪ Me, my love

♪ Take my happy heart away

♪ Let me love you
night and day ♪

♪ In your arms I wanna stay

[Poppy]
Fate-- it's all about timing.

♪ Feeling more and more

♪ Like I've never felt before

♪ You have changed my life

A man hasn't called me that
in years.

At least not
a straight man.

You must be hanging around
a lot of gay straight men.

I mean, blind straight men.

[laughing]

[crew laughs]

You know, it's possible.

♪ I'm not half, I'm whole now

♪ With your love

♪ It's my happy heart
you hear ♪

♪ Singing loud
and singing clear ♪

♪ And it's all
because you're near ♪

♪ Me, my love

♪ Take my happy heart away

[woman]
Action.

Wait. I can explain.

Is that supposed to be
a bearded tit?

It was.

[woman]
All right, stop, hold!

Oh, never mind.

♪ La la la, la la, la la

♪ La la la,
la la, la la ♪

♪ La la la, la la, la la

♪ La la la

Ah...

Oh...

[chuckles]

This is a time--
sorry, one more time.

[woman]
No, that's fine.
That's great.

Oh, I suck.

I suck.

I'm doing it right now.

I got it.
There are no men right now.

There are no men right now!

I don't know why
I can't get this line.

Maybe it's a little self--

Okay, anyway.

Okay, ready. Let's go.

♪ La, la, la

♪ La, la, la

[dance music playing]

♪ Pressure

♪ Life brings
so much pressure ♪

♪ A way to see,
a way to feel ♪

♪ Forget what's real,
lose track of me ♪

♪ Pain

♪ Life brings so much pain

♪ Society says
I should be... ♪

...at the supermarket.

[stifling laugher]

I missed our Saturdays.

[laughing]

[woman]
Cut.

I missed your cooking.

[woman]
Cut.

♪ I'm tired

♪ Of looking in the mirror

♪ Trying to make myself fit

♪ I'm tired

♪ Of airbrushed magazines

♪ Are you telling me
this is it? ♪

♪ Just be

♪ Don't lose yourself

♪ Don't lose your way

♪ Just be

♪ Be strong, stand tall

♪ Be proud today

♪ Just be

♪ Light your fire,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Just be

♪ Be yourself

♪ Everyone else is taken

♪ Pressure

♪ No diet's
gonna run my life ♪

♪ Maybe I should just try to
loosen up, buy a bigger size ♪

♪ Pain

♪ We put ourselves
through so much pain ♪

♪ Maybe it's time
to love what's mine ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm just fine

♪ Just be

♪ Don't lose yourself,
don't lose your way ♪

♪ Just be

♪ Be strong, stand tall

♪ Be proud today

♪ Just be

♪ Light your fire,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Just be

♪ Be yourself

♪ Everyone else is taken

♪ Ooh...

[woman]
Lovely. I think--

-[gasps]
-[laughing]

You okay?

[woman]
All right, we're good.
Cut.