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1
00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:02,915
CAMERON: Welcome.
2
00:00:02,959 --> 00:00:05,962
Most of you know me
as Acting Vice Principal Tucker,
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,224
but today...
4
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:11,098
I am your guide
to the future.
5
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:12,708
[imitating echoing]
The future...the future.
6
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:15,450
Okay, so you didn't
take my note on the echo.
7
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,104
Mitchell, I can't take another
negative voice in my head.
8
00:00:17,147 --> 00:00:19,497
I'm already freaking out
about Principal Brown.
9
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,109
I kind of have a bully
at school.
10
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,894
You gonna eat all that?
11
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:27,723
-I-I guess not.
-PRINCIPAL BROWN: Okay.
12
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,116
Saw your plans
for the seminar tomorrow.
13
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,508
Oh, you like it?
14
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:32,119
Y-You know, I think the kids
will really benefit
15
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:33,337
from hearing
from four graduates
16
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:35,296
that have taken
such different paths.
17
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:37,733
I've got traditional college,
gap year --
18
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,169
PRINCIPAL BROWN: Wrong!
19
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,910
We're pushing onepath here --
college.
20
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,781
Well, yeah, but college
isn't necessarily
21
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,435
the right path
for every--
22
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,568
Tucker, are you familiar
with the term "Golden Apple"?
23
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:47,569
I am.
24
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:48,570
I'm a little surprised
25
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,093
it's made its way into
the straight vernacular.
26
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,921
It's still illegal
in Alabama.
27
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,575
No, no, no, Golden Apple status
is awarded to schools
28
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,143
that reach a minimum
of 60% college acceptance.
29
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:57,144
If we dip below that,
30
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,971
I'm back to teaching
night school.
31
00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,451
If you think
the lunch ladies are mean,
32
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,932
you should meet
the dinnerladies.
33
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:03,976
Yeah, but what about
the students that --
34
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:05,761
Play ball,
Acting Vice Principal Tucker,
35
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,328
and you might
just find yourself --
36
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,329
Vice principal?
37
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,766
Mm-hmm.
[muffled laugh]
38
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,507
I just don't know
if I can preach something
39
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,378
that I don't believe.
40
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:15,553
-Ha! Play ball.
-Seems like a thing
41
00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:17,338
no one was saying,
and now everyone is.
42
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:18,339
You know
what I'm doing right now?
43
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,905
I'm making 100 cupcakes
44
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:23,126
because the D.A. lost
his caterer for his kid's party
45
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,475
and asked
if I could help out.
46
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,956
But if it puts me, uh,
higher up on his radar,
47
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,263
then so be it.
48
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:30,394
I'm just saying
49
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,962
sometimes you need to compromise
to -- to get ahead.
50
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,572
Maybe it's ourtime now.
51
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,008
Ooh, I like that.
52
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,445
Hey, world,
53
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:38,707
there's a newpower couple
on the horizon.
54
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,361
-Yeah.
-Cam and Mitch.
55
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:41,536
Citch --
56
00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,407
-No.
-No, that sounds weird.
57
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:44,843
-Mam --
-We'll find it.
58
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:51,894
♪♪
59
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:02,339
Hey, Dad, our video conference
is about to start.
60
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,340
Can we make it fast?
61
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:04,733
I have that sales meeting
offsite.
62
00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:07,344
Hence the power threads
and box of cigars.
63
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,259
Whoa!
Dad, it's 10:00 in the morning.
64
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:10,391
-Mm.
-CLAIRE: Ohh!
65
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:11,827
I don't swallow it.
66
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:14,003
He smells it on my breath,
he lets his guard down.
67
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,613
In 20 minutes,
I'm taking him in a way
68
00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:17,180
that would make
a prison guard blush.
69
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,181
CLAIRE: [groans]
70
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,704
It's the way
gentlemen do business.
71
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,359
Well, I am sorry to ruin
your Glengarry, Glenlivet fun,
72
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,231
but that meeting
got canceled.
73
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,189
What?
I was looking forward to it.
74
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,451
Nick took care of it
by Skype this morning.
75
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,584
Log on.
Our meeting's about to start.
76
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,024
-[tone beeps]
-Okay, let's begin.
77
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,504
So, Nick, where are we
78
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,245
with the interactive closet
with the voice prompts?
79
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,811
NICK: Here's a demo.
80
00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:41,987
Went with a Christopher Walken
soundalike voice.
81
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,425
VOICE [as Christopher Walken]:
Forecast is...chilly.
82
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,253
Put...on some pants.
83
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,819
NICK: I think we all
fell in love with the idea
84
00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:49,647
of calling it aWalken closet,
85
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:51,432
but this just isn't working.
86
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:54,435
Hey, Claire, I don't see your
dad on the video conference.
87
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:57,307
Damn it!
My computer's busted again.
88
00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,048
Or your caps lock is on.
[sighs]
89
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,442
JAY: Can't we have this meeting
in the conference room?
90
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,139
You know, where we all
sit around a table,
91
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,793
there's a nice
breakfast spread?
92
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:07,622
I am tired of having to keep
cream cheese in my desk.
93
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,014
Dad, you know why
we do it this way.
94
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,016
We have people
working here.
95
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,017
We've got people
working from home.
96
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:14,324
We've got people working
all over the world.
97
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,239
Tiffany is in Berlin
at KlausetSchvarg.
98
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,241
They still have
that conference?
99
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:19,851
I thought they shut that down
in the '80s
100
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:22,332
after we used that sweater hutch
to smuggle that dissident out
101
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:23,464
during East KlausetSchvarg.
102
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,423
You're good.
Just talk into the camera.
103
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,120
[footsteps departing]
104
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:30,035
Hoo! Sorry about that.
[laughs]
105
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,515
NICK: All right.
106
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:32,647
How about an update
on our 3-D printing?
107
00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,475
I think
everybody knows Eduardo.
108
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:35,476
Jay,
have you two met?
109
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,129
JAY:
I can't see the camera!
110
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,522
Dad, you're, uh...
111
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:40,307
you're kind of smushed up
against it.
112
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:41,308
You might want to
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00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,397
just step back a skosh.
114
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,007
[chuckles]
115
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,400
Using a 3-D printer
to manufacture our closets
116
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:47,749
will triple revenue.
117
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,141
I can't hear you!
118
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:52,319
Volume up, Dad.
119
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:53,668
NICK:
In our first year alone --
120
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,844
What the hell?!
121
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:56,845
Dad, "undo." Just --
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00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,455
JAY: I know! I know!
123
00:03:58,499 --> 00:04:00,544
Double-click.
124
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,764
GLORIA: ♪ Happy birrrthday
125
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:03,765
♪ Mr. Closet --♪
126
00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,157
-CLAIRE: No!
-JAY: No!
127
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,638
Have your stupid meeting!
I'm outta here!
128
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:11,338
Margaret, I'm going to the park
across the street.
129
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:12,295
-I need a walk!
-[laughter]
130
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,079
JAY: Aah!
131
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:18,083
Thank you so much
for helping out with Joe.
132
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,433
You don't think
it's too flashy?
133
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,696
What are you talking about?
You're taking a magic class.
134
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:23,437
You want to show them
you're serious.
135
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,309
It's abracadabra,
not abraca-drab-ra.
136
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,310
GLORIA: [gasps]
137
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:30,400
Look at that!
An open casting call.
138
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:33,490
Excuse me,
what is this for?
139
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:34,883
We are looking for
real families
140
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,972
to be the new faces
of the Glen Valley Mall.
141
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,887
You guys are adorable.
Want to sign up?
142
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:39,888
Oh, we're not
a-a real --
143
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,585
Oh, we would loveto!
144
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:45,154
What a cool and a spontaneous
thing to do!
145
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,156
I saw that poster last week.
146
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,463
It kind of reminded me
of a long time ago
147
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,552
when I used to do
a little modeling.
148
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,988
I guess I miss it.
149
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,946
I tricked Phil
into going to the mall
150
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,471
because I knew that Jay
wouldn't do it with me.
151
00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,212
Oh, come on, guys.
This is gonna be so much fun.
152
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:01,649
I don't know.
153
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,825
This kid in my class
did a cough syrup commercial.
154
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:06,001
Now he's always going
to the teachers' lounge
155
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,394
to call his manager.
156
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,482
He's the worst.
157
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:11,049
And I teach
a real-estate class at 5:00.
158
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,268
I have to show up early
to limber up.
159
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,878
Um...
160
00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:16,620
I think that this could help
a lot with Joe's self-esteem.
161
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,579
He's had a rough week.
162
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,930
You know how they treat kids
that are into magic.
163
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,497
Oh, you tell him
when he gets to high school,
164
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,585
that all changes.
165
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,848
I don't like lying to him.
166
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:28,197
Look, this isn't really
my thing,
167
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,807
and I'm -- I'm feeling
a little under the weather.
168
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,592
Don't -- Don't I look
a little pale?
169
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,245
We will do it!
170
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:34,899
Great.
171
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:37,032
Our P.A. will set you up with
wardrobe for some test shots.
172
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:38,773
Hey, team.
Can I get you anything?
173
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:41,645
Uh, coffee? Water?
Still or sparkling?
174
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:42,777
Ooh, I-I'd take
a sparkling.
175
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,648
Talent wants sparkling.
176
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,041
[gasps]
Did you hear that, Phil?
177
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,869
-They call us talent!
-[laughs]
178
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,566
Let's not get carried away.
We're still reg--
179
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,439
I said sparkling.
180
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,528
[indistinct conversations]
181
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,746
Well, looks like
you're gonna get
182
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,531
a pretty solid turnout,
Tucker.
183
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,010
Now close the deal.
184
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,056
Hey, what is,
uh, "whanex"?
185
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:03,406
It's the way the kids say
"What's next?"
186
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,538
If you want to reach them,
187
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,409
you have to learn
to speak their language.
188
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,063
Massive screw-up
at the print shop.
189
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,500
I-I have no idea
how it happened!
190
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:11,980
Yeah, that's right.
The banner should read...
191
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,111
[muffled] "whanex."
192
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:16,419
Okay. Yeah, "whanex." Uh-huh.
193
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,857
Welcome, students, to the first
annual "whanex" seminar.
194
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,556
Let's, uh, just jump right
into it and meet our panelists.
195
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:26,255
We have two bright, young people
who chose the college path
196
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:27,561
and two wayward souls
197
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,476
whose mistakes
we can only hope to learn from.
198
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,478
'Sup, Dolphins?
199
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:34,132
[scattered applause]
200
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:40,312
Nick, I'm so sorry
about my dad this morning.
201
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:41,313
-Hi.
-Please forget it.
202
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,098
-We've got a bigger problem.
-Hmm?
203
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,709
We have to find a new voice for
the virtual closet assistant.
204
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,929
We're thinking...female.
205
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,670
Yeah, I was wondering
about that myself.
206
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,062
MIA:
Hold on a second.
207
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:54,152
Claire has a great voice --
commanding but alluring.
208
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,719
Oh, come on.
I don't know about...
209
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:56,851
[sultry voice]
...alluring.
210
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:57,939
You're right.
211
00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,462
You're right.
I can totally hear it.
212
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:00,637
[normal voice]
Guys, guys...
213
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,639
[sultry voice]
...you're embarrassing me.
214
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,467
Where have you
been hiding this?
215
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:05,599
[normal voice]
Within half an hour,
216
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:06,904
I had recorded
all the voice prompts
217
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,297
for the new smart-closet,
218
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,298
and they installed it
219
00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:10,865
in the prototype
right in the office.
220
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:14,390
Everyone seemed really happy,
but I don't get it.
221
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,522
I mean...
222
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:17,785
[sultry voice]
...a voice is just a voice.
223
00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,832
CLAIRE [normal voice]: Oh, good.
Dad, you're back.
224
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:25,967
Please step into our new
smart-closet prototype.
225
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:26,968
So you can yell at me
226
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,404
for bailing on the meeting
this morning?
227
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,710
Just -- You'll see.
228
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,539
Oh.
229
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:33,975
VIRTUAL CLAIRE: May I help
choose an outfit for you?
230
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:35,367
'Cause I'm some old fossil
231
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,108
that still puts on a suit
to go to work?
232
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:39,502
-VIRTUAL CLAIRE:
Let's start over. -Why don't we?!
233
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,677
VIRTUAL CLAIRE:
What level of comfort
234
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:41,896
are you looking for?
235
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,899
Same thing I've had
for the last 40 years --
236
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,378
a workplace
where you interact
237
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,076
with actual people
every once in a while,
238
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,425
like we're doing right now.
239
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,340
I used to love
sales calls.
240
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:52,776
Now we don't even
do them anymore.
241
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,299
I mean, put yourself
in myshoes.
242
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,910
VIRTUAL CLAIRE:
Dress or casual?
243
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,346
Why do you sound like
Lauren Bacall?!
244
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:58,521
[laughing]
I don't understand.
245
00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,957
Right, because now,
like everything,
246
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,785
my references are old
and out of step.
247
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:03,221
Why are you yelling?
248
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:05,572
If you don't get it by now,
you're never gonna get it!
249
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,661
Well, somebody'spanties
are in a bunch.
250
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,924
VIRTUAL CLAIRE: May I offer you
a different pair?
251
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:12,492
That's just weird.
252
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:15,190
[whirring in distance]
253
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:17,105
Ooh! Very good.
254
00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:18,759
-[click, whirring stops]
255
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,325
MITCHELL: I had an hour
to make 100 cupcakes
256
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,762
-for my boss's son's party.
-[cellphone chimes]
257
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,328
But it was all
gonna be worth it.
258
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,634
He was gonna be so grateful,
259
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:27,158
the next big promotion
would be mine.
260
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:29,030
You ungrateful monster!
261
00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:31,598
Two sisters, two paths.
262
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,121
Graduation...
263
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,557
procreation.
264
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,646
The world on a string --
265
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:39,344
a baby and no ring.
266
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,782
Uh, you -- you said
you were happy for me.
267
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,958
You said a baby would bring me
limitless joy.
268
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:44,915
And a limited bank account.
269
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,569
Now, Manny,
no one can doubt
270
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,615
the real-world value
of an art degree,
271
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,921
but talk a little bit
about the exciting social scene.
272
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:51,835
It's funny you ask.
273
00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:53,358
I went to
a wine and cheese mixer
274
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:54,925
at the Dean's house
the other night.
275
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,580
He collects instruments
of indigenous people.
276
00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:58,625
And by the time we killed
277
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,409
the last bit
of a chewy Zinfandel,
278
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:02,977
our jam sesh started to sound
more like a didgeri-don't.
279
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,848
[chuckles]
280
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,284
Thank you.
281
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,025
Could I please
pipe in here?
282
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,157
Yes, please. Alex.
283
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,462
I genuinely appreciate
284
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,073
the opportunity
to come back here,
285
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:15,859
where I had the pleasure
of serving as co-valedictorian,
286
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,165
to offer a message of hope
287
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:21,735
to those oft-marginalized
overachievers out there.
288
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:26,522
I...see...you.
289
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,829
Well, I can't be the only one
with goose bumps in here.
290
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,700
-[cellphone ringing]
-Oh. Excuse me. Oh.
291
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:31,701
[ringing stops]
292
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:32,746
Yes, let's open it up
for questions.
293
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,443
Right here in the front row.
Go ahead.
294
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,097
I still don't get "whanex."
295
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,621
It sounds like my grandparents'
long-distance carrier in Oregon.
296
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:39,666
-[cellphone ringing]
-Okay, okay.
297
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,058
You know what?
I have to take this.
298
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,104
Uh, Luke, Haley,
talk a little bit about
299
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:44,845
how you still live at home
with your parents.
300
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:45,846
[light applause]
301
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,238
Hey, what's up?
302
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,283
CAMERON: I'm in the middle
of my thing.
303
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,806
-[clank]
-Flip what I said before.
304
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,460
Start talking up
the dummies.
305
00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:52,983
What?
306
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,419
MITCHELL: Um, I just got
a text from work.
307
00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:56,726
My boss gave that big case
to someone else!
308
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,685
Meanwhile,
I'm still on the hook
309
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,208
for these stupid cupcakes!
310
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,339
[exhales sharply]
311
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,646
M-My heart is racing,
my -- my hands are numb.
312
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,693
Plus, I-I think I have a case
of airborne diabetes!
313
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:09,652
Wait. Are you saying
I-I should --
314
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:10,827
Look, if those college
application numbers fall,
315
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,742
Principal Brown,
he gets fired.
316
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:14,788
Guess who's up next.
Principal Tucker.
317
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,006
[gasps]
318
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,834
I've never dared dream
of such a thing.
319
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,096
MITCHELL: More money,
320
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,707
better parking space,
321
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,796
plus you get to pick
the prom theme.
322
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,494
I could finally make
my Enchanted Bayou a reality.
323
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,583
Okay, t-talk -- talk soon.
324
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,063
MANNY:
What's great about art school
325
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:31,152
is that a lot of the faculty
work in the industry.
326
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,893
My film studies professor
327
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:35,286
has led tours
at every major studio.
328
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,810
All right,
thank you, Manny.
329
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,725
And for those of you
still awake,
330
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:40,683
I think what
we've learned here today is --
331
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,468
college, a dead end.
332
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:46,167
[audience murmuring]
333
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,734
[camera shutter clicking]
334
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:48,822
Okay, up next.
335
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,867
Philip, Gloria, and Joe.
336
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,129
Same setup.
337
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:53,348
Dad playing catch with his son.
338
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,697
Mom laying out a picnic.
339
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:55,829
PHOTOGRAPHER:
So, just real natural.
340
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:56,830
Like I'm not even here.
341
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:57,918
You got it.
342
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,139
Maybe not so sexy.
343
00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:04,359
-My bad.
-NANCY: He was talking to Mom.
344
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:06,622
You can just lay out the food
in a normal way.
345
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,885
Copy that.
No divas here.
346
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,497
Her head is doing
something weird.
347
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:13,585
Can we straighten that up?
348
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:14,761
Hang on, guys.
349
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,327
[whispering]
350
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,721
[whispering]
Why are they whispering?
351
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,940
You think I look
too young for you?
352
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,768
Why? Are my
crow's feet showing?
353
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,857
I knew makeup was going
too light on the concealer.
354
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,728
Guys, we're just
mixing and matching today,
355
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:28,165
so we're thinking about
swapping out one of you.
356
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,645
No, we're a team.
357
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,865
You get rid of one of us,
and you lose allof us.
358
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,736
-It's the kid.
-Okay.
359
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,000
I thought this was
supposed to be for Joe.
360
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,872
Well, obviously,
he's terrible at it,
361
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,613
so how is that gonna help him
with his self-esteem?
362
00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:42,789
Hi, I'm Tyler.
363
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,616
-[both whispering]
-GLORIA: Oh, this is not good.
364
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,922
Tyler, don't get too
comfortable.
365
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,184
NANCY: I think we want to try
something different.
366
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:49,012
Hey, Sean,
could you step up here?
367
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,971
I'm so sorry, Phil.
368
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,320
No, we want to look
at two dads.
369
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,191
[laughing]
I can't play the kid.
370
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,802
Looks like you're out.
Here we go.
371
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:56,803
-Sean, was it?
-Yeah. Hey.
372
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,543
-How are you?
-Good.
373
00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:01,242
Hmm. Not feeling
that chemistry.
374
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:02,678
Maybe we should kiss?
375
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,636
We could just wait for them
to tell us what to do.
376
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,334
Let's try Sean and a mom.
377
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:07,378
GLORIA: Move, Phil.
378
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,293
NANCY: No, we meant Lydia.
379
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,820
All right, almost there.
380
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,517
Hey, Joe,
hop up here for me.
381
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:20,217
Yes!
That'sour family.
382
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:21,784
The new faces
of Glen Valley Mall.
383
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,265
Everyone else can go.
Thank you.
384
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,397
Nice working
with you guys.
385
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:29,052
I have an audition
across town.
386
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,751
-For what?
-Do they need grownups?
387
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:36,190
All right, we've heard
from our college-going sheep.
388
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:39,410
Now, Luke,
you wisely took a gap year,
389
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:42,936
got a job, made mad stacks,
and invested a little, correct?
390
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:43,937
Totally.
391
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,853
I own 300 microrubels,
392
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,898
a Russian cryptocurrency
I heard about on Facebook,
393
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:50,465
which currently,
you can only use
394
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,946
to buy a Chechen party drug
called Frankenstein.
395
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,469
Okay, Haley, uh...
396
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:57,864
hot boyfriend, job,
baby on the way --
397
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:58,865
You seem to have it all,
398
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,040
yet you took
a very different path
399
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,041
than your older sister,
Alex.
400
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:01,998
I'm younger!
401
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,565
Oh, wow. Okay.
402
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,872
I guess that's why they call
studying "the new smoking."
403
00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,003
-[laughs]
-No one says that.
404
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,526
Can I add --
405
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,267
I'm sure you can, but it won't
help in the real world.
406
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,008
Anyway,
thank you all for coming.
407
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:14,097
Have a good afternoon.
Take care.
408
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,185
Cam, what the hell?
409
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,360
I learned a lot.
410
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:18,885
Tucker!
411
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:21,104
I wasn't picking up
a lot of Uber fares,
412
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,018
so I came back here early
413
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:23,890
and I heard the end
of your little presentation.
414
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,108
I know
what you're trying to do.
415
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,458
Hey, I just need to talk to him
for -- for one second.
416
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:28,851
Hey, hey. Guess what.
417
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:32,072
I just dropped off the cupcakes
at my boss's house.
418
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,857
Turns out he -- he didn't
give me the case I wanted
419
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,120
because he had
an even better one for me.
420
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,556
Really?
T-That's amazing.
421
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,644
And he didn't want me
to makecupcakes.
422
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,864
He just wanted me
to recommend a new caterer.
423
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,736
[laughing] So we had
a big laugh about that.
424
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:47,565
But just goes to show,
don'tplay games.
425
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,219
Do your job,
and you'll be recognized.
426
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,351
Yeah, but you said --
427
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:51,569
No, ah! Forget what I said.
428
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,876
T-There's no one path
to success.
429
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,270
I mean, that'swhat you should
be telling these kids.
430
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,924
Yeah, that's what I was
going to tell these kids --
431
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:58,925
PRINCIPAL BROWN:
Damn it, Tucker!
432
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:00,970
I can't hold
my alpha power stance this long.
433
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,146
My calves
are starting to cramp.
434
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:05,801
-Okay, well, first of all --
-No, can it! Okay?
435
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,020
You thought
you could bury me
436
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,325
by killing
college applications,
437
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:09,674
didn't you? Hmm?
438
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,720
I will clean out my half
of the desk that I share.
439
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:12,982
Oh, no, it's --
I'm so sorry.
440
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,505
T-This is --
This is myfault.
441
00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:16,159
I tried to play ball
at work.
442
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:18,596
There was a lot
of unnecessary baking.
443
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,250
D-- The point is,
444
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,036
I- I put these ideas
into his head, so...
445
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,037
Oh.
446
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,560
So you're so weak
and without conviction
447
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,954
that somebody suggests
some stupid idea to you
448
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,172
and without even thinking,
449
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,957
you just abandon all your values
450
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,046
and fold like
a cheap Chinese fan, huh?
451
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,613
Yes, sir. I am a worm.
452
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:37,920
That is exactly
what I'm looking for.
453
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,704
No threat to me at all.
[chuckles]
454
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:42,142
Well, congratulations, permanent
Vice Principal Tucker.
455
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,143
-Really?
-Yes.
456
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,361
Thank you!
I love you!
457
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:45,710
I love you, too.
458
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,974
Now, first order of business --
fix what you did here.
459
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,063
You are gonna give me
a Golden Apple.
460
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,064
Hey, hey!
461
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,804
We are in
a committed relationship!
462
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,502
No, no, no. It's not
the same thing we saw at Pepper's bachelor party.
463
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:55,633
-It's not?
-No.
464
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,724
After fighting with everybody
all day,
465
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:02,945
I was starting to think maybe...
Iwas the jerk.
466
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,208
So I ended up back
at the old office,
467
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,731
you know,
trying to figure out
468
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:09,430
what it was about
going to work there
469
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:11,127
that I loved so much.
470
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:16,219
JAY [on TV]:
Congratulations.
471
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,655
You've been hired at
472
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:19,527
Pritchett's Closets,
Blinds, and Waterbeds.
473
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,007
I'm Jay Pritchett.
474
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,399
Welcome to the team.
475
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:24,053
-[cheers and applause]
-JAY [on TV]: You hear that?
476
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:25,837
They're cheering for you
already.
477
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:29,189
That's something
we value here -- teamwork.
478
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,234
And whether you're in sales
or shipping
479
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,410
or one of those cute tomatoes
in the steno pool,
480
00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,238
you're important,
481
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,023
'cause we're family here.
482
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:40,026
Wait a minute!
Who's this new employee?
483
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,244
CLAIRE: It's me --
Claire, Daddy.
484
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,768
Oh, right!
It's Claire!
485
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:45,596
-[laughs]
-[clatter]
486
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,689
Nice hands.
487
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,562
Reminds me why our softball team
never won a game.
488
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,694
Look who they let out of
the fancy corporate office.
489
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,349
Hey, that wife of yours
get smart and leave you yet?
490
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,221
Eh, actually, she did.
It's been rough.
491
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,483
KENNY: Oh.
I -- We didn't know.
492
00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:03,788
-LOU: Geez, I'm so sorry.
-JAY: Ah, you mutts,
493
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:04,876
I'm screwing with you!
494
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:05,877
Where's she going?
495
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:08,619
[laughter]
496
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:11,492
CLAIRE: I knew my dad
was going through something,
497
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,494
and when I saw his car
at the old office,
498
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:15,278
I-I stopped by to check on him.
499
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,150
JAY [on TV]:
Are you feeling shy, Claire?
500
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:20,022
Uh...yeah,
I guess I am a little.
501
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,023
Um...
502
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,633
How old are you?
503
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:23,634
CLAIRE: You're right.
504
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,158
Just come out and say it.
505
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:26,463
Um...
506
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:29,249
I'm worried that you're unhappy
we sold the company
507
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,598
and you're blaming it
on me.
508
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:31,860
JAY [on TV]:
You're making that face
509
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,296
like you have to go potty.
510
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,907
[exhales sharply]
I'm anxious and --
511
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:37,170
How can you even
see my face?
512
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,433
She's my daughter.
513
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:40,825
She thinks
she runs the place.
514
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:41,826
[chuckles softly]
515
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:47,310
[laughter in distance]
516
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:48,529
[laughter continues]
517
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,965
TIM: You said
he wouldn't do it.
518
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,836
JAY: You're damn right,
I did it.
519
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,142
Boss is still the best,
huh?
520
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,666
[laughter]
521
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:58,060
My dad was homesick.
522
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:01,063
That is
one photogenic butt, Jay.
523
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,978
Take it with you.
You can kiss it at home, too.
524
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,199
[laughter]
525
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,287
-Hey, guys. Hi.
-CALVIN: Hey!
526
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,288
Hi, Dad.
527
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:09,550
Hey, what are you
doing here?
528
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,508
I, uh, saw your car.
529
00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:13,510
Look...[sighs]
530
00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:15,251
I know you've been frustrated
at work lately.
531
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:16,687
Don't worry about that.
532
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,080
You're doing great,
though, huh?
533
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,300
Yeah, I kind of love it.
534
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:23,346
But it doesn't feel right
if you hate it.
535
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,306
Dad, we can bail
on the whole thing.
536
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,220
You know
what I need to bail on?
537
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:30,353
Being such a little peach.
538
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:31,572
-Hmm?
-JAY: What?
539
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:32,573
They bruise easily.
540
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:33,878
It could be an expression.
I don't know.
541
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:36,359
The point is, when I was here,
I reached out more.
542
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,579
I made videos
greeting people.
543
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,363
I built realrelationships.
544
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:42,148
Those three guys --
I knew two of their names.
545
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:45,716
I think maybe I need to try
to be a little bit more like you
546
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,241
and give this new thing
a chance.
547
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,460
You know, they're not so bad
when you get past the --
548
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:53,333
the hipster beards
and the sweaty handshakes.
549
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,204
Tell me about
that printer guy, Eduardo.
550
00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:56,988
What the hell
is 3-D printing anyway?
551
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,294
Look at you trying.
552
00:17:58,338 --> 00:17:59,904
Oh, Dad!
553
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:02,342
Okay, 3-D printing is
when you take three lasers
554
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,126
and you can scan
any object you want.
555
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,259
You -- You want to 3-D print
your butt, don't you?
556
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:07,825
We want them to like me,
don't we?
557
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,132
[sighing] Ohh...
558
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,352
Okay, baby,
have fun at your play date.
559
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,266
I'll pick you up
in two hours.
560
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:14,267
[seatbelt clicks]
561
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:17,052
Can you believe
I'm a model now?
562
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,185
Crazy world.
563
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,056
-See you, buddy.
-Bye, baby.
564
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,057
JOE: Bye, Mom!
565
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,232
[car door closes]
566
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,973
Gosh, I'm so happy
for that kid.
567
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,410
[chuckling]
Yeah, we keep saying that.
568
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:30,196
I feel, uh, silly
I got so invested in modeling
569
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:33,155
for some mall poster
no one's ever gonna see.
570
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:34,417
You want to feel better?
571
00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,071
I'll show you something
572
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,726
that is gonna make me look
more pathetic than you do.
573
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,858
I think I said "silly,"
but, um...
574
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,338
yeah, okay.
575
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,387
That was me
20 years ago.
576
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,867
PHIL: [laughs]
That's amazing.
577
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:51,434
But what are you
so upset about?
578
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:53,306
You're just as beautiful now
as you were then.
579
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:55,525
Aww. I know.
580
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:57,614
It's just that it was
a time in my life
581
00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:03,446
where I was out there hustling,
modeling, driving a taxi,
582
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,449
selling bacon-wrapped hot dogs
outside a nightclub.
583
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:07,407
[chuckles]
584
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,452
Seeing them taking it down
585
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,889
made me feel like
that version of me
586
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,326
is gone forever.
587
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,763
So that's why you wanted
to start modeling again.
588
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:19,419
I just miss being passionate
about something again.
589
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:21,986
The way that you feel passionate
about real estate.
590
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,466
-Mm.
-You always seem, like,
591
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:27,122
so alive, making new deals,
meeting new people.
592
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,430
Have you ever thought
about becoming a Realtor?
593
00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:33,128
-Who hasn't?
-That's true.
594
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,609
I bought a book one time
to learn how to do it,
595
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,350
but you know how it is.
596
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:41,005
Sometimes in life,
you just get stuck.
597
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:43,007
I think you'd be great at it.
Really.
598
00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:44,487
I'd buy anything
from you.
599
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,315
I'm thinking about getting
my chompers bleached,
600
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:47,403
and there's only
half of you up there.
601
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:50,014
-Really?
-Yeah.
602
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:53,017
GLORIA: It can be scary
to ask yourself what's next.
603
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:55,629
All the doubts
start to creep in.
604
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,675
Are people
going to like me?
605
00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,068
Ooh, still hot.
606
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:01,461
Thank you!
607
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,376
I throw a tractor tire
around the backyard
608
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:04,855
a couple days a week.
609
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,074
♪♪
610
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:11,035
GLORIA:
Can I handle the challenge?
611
00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:12,385
WOMAN: Dude.
612
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:15,257
♪♪
613
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,955
GLORIA: You can ask these
questions forever,
614
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:20,480
or you can just
take the first step.
615
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:23,526
Here is your five-point
checklist for any open house.
616
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:24,658
Number one --
617
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:25,876
[velcro rips]
618
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,053
Sorry, professor.
619
00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:31,230
♪♪
620
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,538
CLAIRE: Phil, honey.
What are you doing here?
621
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:36,496
Hey,
I thought I'd surprise you
622
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,106
and take you out to dinner.
623
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:39,412
-Ooh!
-[chuckles]
624
00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:41,283
Spontaneous.
You know I like that.
625
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,329
Well, um, let me just make sure
everybody's gone.
626
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:44,417
I'll grab my bag
and lock up.
627
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:45,548
Awesome.
628
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:52,163
VIRTUAL CLAIRE: May I help you
with your clothes?
629
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:53,469
Ooh.
630
00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:55,776
I guess we are
the only ones here.
631
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:58,344
VIRTUAL CLAIRE: Perhaps we'll
start with the pants.
632
00:20:58,387 --> 00:20:59,345
Wow.
633
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:00,346
[belt rustles]
634
00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:01,564
Normally,
you like a little...
635
00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:03,305
slow shirt unbuttoning,
636
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:07,309
but I guess we...
are cutting to the chase.
637
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:08,484
CLAIRE: [scoffs]
638
00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:10,094
Dad, are you still looking
for a place
639
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:11,444
to leave that butt?
640
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:12,749
It's so gross.
641
00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:14,403
There's nothing better
for office camaraderie
642
00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:15,361
than a practical joke.
643
00:21:15,404 --> 00:21:17,363
It lifts people's spirits.
644
00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:18,364
Mm.
645
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:23,499
Well played.
646
00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:31,290
--Captions by VITAC--
647
00:21:31,340 --> 00:21:35,890
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