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1
00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:04,580
Adult Timmy: The 1970s were
an awesome time to be a kid.
2
00:00:04,580 --> 00:00:06,750
It was the Wild West.
3
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:08,750
Bike helmets hadn't been
invented yet or car seatbelts
4
00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:11,420
or even
normal adult supervision.
5
00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:13,670
Dads weren't around
as much as they are now.
6
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:15,790
And my mom was busy
running the house.
7
00:00:15,790 --> 00:00:18,880
She had a lot on her plate
and no time for tomfoolery --
8
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,040
whatever that is.
9
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,580
There were eight of us boys,
10
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:24,210
including my oldest brother,
just home from college.
11
00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:26,830
That's a lot of testosterone
under one roof.
12
00:00:26,830 --> 00:00:28,210
[ Clank, projector clicking ]
13
00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:32,670
Allow me, m'lady.
14
00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:34,000
Don't forget your lunch.
I made you a sandwich
15
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,290
from the left-over meatloaf.
16
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:37,790
Oh, I like that, Peg.
17
00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:40,420
Your loaf
only gets better with time.
18
00:00:40,420 --> 00:00:41,540
Ew.
19
00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:43,120
Buck-89
from the Sears toy department
20
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,750
literally down the drain.
21
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,250
Hey, Pat,
I found your Army doll!
22
00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:47,710
Pat: I'm busy!
23
00:00:47,710 --> 00:00:50,920
Oh, well, thank God
your father and I aren't.
24
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,080
♪♪
25
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,710
Yeah!
26
00:00:55,710 --> 00:00:57,380
Hey, be careful.
27
00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:59,500
One of those belts might knock
a picture off the wall.
28
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:00,670
Alright,
you got this.
29
00:01:00,670 --> 00:01:01,790
I'll be home the usual.
30
00:01:01,790 --> 00:01:02,920
Honestly.
31
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,710
Geez.
32
00:01:04,710 --> 00:01:06,170
♪♪
33
00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:07,540
Hey, Mrs. Cleary.
34
00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,080
Oh, hi, Wendi.
35
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,750
Thanks for letting me
borrow this.
36
00:01:10,750 --> 00:01:13,000
Of course.
When do I wear a scarf?
37
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,080
I'm not driving a convertible
around Monaco.
38
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,170
I guess it's hard for you
to get out and have fun.
39
00:01:17,170 --> 00:01:18,210
Oh, I don't know.
Just yesterday
40
00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:20,040
I went to Bunny Delmonte's
funeral.
41
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,420
Oh, I'm sorry.
42
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:22,960
Don't be.
They had those Jewish donuts
43
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,120
you spread cheese on.
44
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,420
Do you ever just go get coffee
with a friend?
45
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,040
Coffee makes me jittery.
46
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,670
And so do friends.
47
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:31,750
Eddie's in his room.
48
00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:33,250
But be warned.
49
00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:34,460
It smells like seat-noises
in there.
50
00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:40,500
Mommy, I think "seat-noises"
is just our family's word.
51
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,580
Five seconds in Eddie's room
and she'll be up to speed.
52
00:01:47,670 --> 00:01:49,960
Close the door.
Where's my mom?
53
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,080
In the backyard,
don't worry.
54
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:52,670
Close the door anyway.
55
00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:54,420
My mom had a sixth sense
when it came to us
56
00:01:54,420 --> 00:01:56,080
trying to get away
with anything.
57
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,500
The distant click
of a closing bedroom door
58
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,540
was like an air-raid siren
to her.
59
00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:05,000
♪♪
60
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,210
Lookie here.
61
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,170
Wow. Champagne.
62
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,830
And it's red.
63
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,670
This is Cold Duck.
64
00:02:13,670 --> 00:02:16,210
It's from a vineyard
in De-twah.
65
00:02:16,210 --> 00:02:17,500
I think that's pronounced
"Detroit."
66
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:18,670
Oh, same as ours.
67
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,460
My buddy, Dino, swiped this
from his folks.
68
00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:22,460
This will be fun when we see
the meteor shower tonight.
69
00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:24,330
It will definitely enhance
the Perseids Maximus,
70
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:25,790
which is very active
this year.
71
00:02:25,790 --> 00:02:27,250
"Perseids Maximus"?
72
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,710
I researched that
at the library
73
00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,790
so you wouldn't think I was just
taking you there to make out.
74
00:02:30,790 --> 00:02:33,170
Mm, which you are.
You better stow that, though.
75
00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:35,170
Your mom has a way of popping in
unexpectedly.
76
00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:37,540
If we like this,
I can get other stuff from Dino.
77
00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:40,250
He's a good guy
and he doesn't mind stealing.
78
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,540
[ Glass shatters ]
79
00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:43,750
Holy hell!
80
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,080
I'm dead!
81
00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:48,960
If my mom finds out,
I'm dead!
82
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,460
Then we can't let her
find out.
83
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:51,790
Sure,
Mom could have burst in
84
00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:53,290
and brought down the hammer
right there,
85
00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:55,460
but my mother saw
the opportunity to figure out
86
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,080
if Wendi was worthy
of Eddie --
87
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,460
and, more importantly,
worthy of her.
88
00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:02,670
I have $9
and a Pee Wee Reese rookie card
89
00:03:02,670 --> 00:03:04,290
in my top sock drawer.
90
00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:06,080
Take them and go.
You can start a new life.
91
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:14,330
♪♪
92
00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:16,250
We -- We can clean this.
This isn't so bad.
93
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,920
It is bad.
My parents hate liquor.
94
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,120
They won't even have it
in the house.
95
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,500
This was true.
96
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,580
If a recipe called
for alcohol,
97
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,620
my mom would substitute
something else.
98
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,460
Her Cream of Mushroom
Rum Cake
99
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:26,960
was not a hit
at bake sales.
100
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,710
Maybe I can distract your mom
for a little while.
101
00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:29,830
It won't work.
102
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:31,250
I have to clean the sheets,
the floor!
103
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:32,620
I just have to get her
out of the house
104
00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:34,460
for a few hours.
She doesn't leave this house.
105
00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:35,920
She goes to church
and that's it.
106
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:36,920
What does she do for fun?
107
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,750
Nothing.
She's the enemy of fun.
108
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:40,000
Your mom trusts me.
109
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,210
I'll convince her.
110
00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:43,420
I can't have her hating me
over this.
111
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,920
She won't hate you.
She'll just judge you forever.
112
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,040
Oh, wait,
that's what she does for fun.
113
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,460
Mom?!
114
00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:53,790
Wasting electricity
in the daytime?
115
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,040
Use the free light.
116
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,580
[ Vacuum whirs ]
117
00:03:58,580 --> 00:03:59,620
Hey, Mrs. Cleary.
118
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,000
Oh.
119
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,670
You and Eddie
headed out?
120
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,960
We were,
but then I started thinking...
121
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,670
you should go out.
122
00:04:07,670 --> 00:04:09,880
What a strange suggestion.
123
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,710
Why on earth would you want me
to leave the house?
124
00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:14,790
Oh, wait, I know!
125
00:04:14,790 --> 00:04:17,290
You're worried about me
having enough fun.
126
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,040
You were saying
that you don't get out much.
127
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,580
Well, I guess I wouldn't mind
having my hair done
128
00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:21,620
at Helen's Salon.
129
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:22,750
But I could never...
130
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,080
Of course you could!
131
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,380
No,
every time I turn around,
132
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:27,620
there's some new mess
being created.
133
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:30,250
Who knows what else I'd find
if I started poking around.
134
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,920
There's a house
full of healthy boys here
135
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,120
to take care of all that.
Eddie!
136
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,750
These useless lumps
are no help.
137
00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:39,620
She's not wrong.
We're lumps.
138
00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,380
They're just pretending
to be useless
139
00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:42,790
so you don't make them
do chores.
140
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:43,750
Did you tell her?
141
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,920
No, but you just did.
142
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,290
Sorry, Mrs. Cleary.
143
00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,210
I'm not taking no
for an answer.
144
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:50,330
Heeey!
145
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:51,880
You changed your shirt.
146
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:56,620
Funny, I just had
the craziest sneeze.
147
00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:58,380
Your mother's going to go out
and get her hair done.
148
00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,290
Oh, good idea!
149
00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:01,380
And I said
while she's out,
150
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:02,710
we'll take care
of her housework.
151
00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:05,290
We're doing something nice
for Mom? I'm in.
152
00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:07,540
You see,
they're dying to help --
153
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,330
watch the baby, do the laundry,
mop the kitchen.
154
00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:11,420
It's the least
they can do.
155
00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:12,920
I can picture less.
156
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,920
You're all being
so sweet.
157
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,830
Oh. What the heck.
158
00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:19,790
Okay. I'll go.
159
00:05:19,790 --> 00:05:22,080
But I promise,
I'll be right back.
160
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,380
Take your time.
161
00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:24,460
Do extra stuff.
162
00:05:24,460 --> 00:05:26,790
Get your fingernails washed
or whatever.
163
00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:28,210
Fingernail washing?
164
00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:30,540
That's no fun alone.
165
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:33,120
Oh, wait.
Here's a thought --
166
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,620
Wendi, why don't you come
with me?
167
00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:38,290
Um...I-I suppose
that could work.
168
00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:40,330
It'll be my treat!
We'll gossip,
169
00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:41,500
tell each other
all our secrets.
170
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,880
Uh...
171
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,330
I'm kidding!
172
00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:46,500
You don't have any secrets
from me.
173
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,670
♪♪
174
00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:50,120
[ Door closes ]
175
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,750
Eddie: If you guys really want
to help me clean the house,
176
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,920
the best way to do that
is to stay out of my way.
177
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,880
I'll let you back in
for dinner.
178
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,290
[ Door slams ]
179
00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:00,290
If you need me,
I'll be under that tree.
180
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:02,670
Or more correctly,
I'll be visiting
181
00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:05,250
the seventh moon of Vallys
with my good friend Quaytar.
182
00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:06,880
Alone under the tree,
got it.
183
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,580
What about you, Pat?
184
00:06:08,580 --> 00:06:10,000
Want to meet my secret dog?
185
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,330
The one
with the blood-red eyes
186
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,790
who stares through
your bedroom window at night?
187
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,460
No, that's Kevin.
188
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:15,830
This one's real.
189
00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:17,040
I keep him a couple blocks
from here.
190
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,420
C'mon.
191
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,830
Our main job today
is keeping that alive.
192
00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:24,960
Don't die.
193
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,670
Joey,
go to the garage.
194
00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:28,620
You're gonna grab a bucket
and mop, come back,
195
00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:30,790
and your job will be scrubbing
the kitchen floors.
196
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:31,790
On it!
197
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:33,920
Frank, you do laundry.
198
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,670
As long as you tell Mom
it was me.
199
00:06:35,670 --> 00:06:38,000
Unlike Mother's Day,
when I bought her a card
200
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,170
and everybody put their names
on it.
201
00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:41,710
Don't be a drip,
Frank.
202
00:06:41,710 --> 00:06:43,670
Even Joey is helping.
203
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:46,330
Start with the wet towels
in the bathroom.
204
00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:47,420
[ Door opens ]
205
00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:48,460
Hey, what's goin' on?
206
00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:49,330
Glad you're here.
207
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:50,620
There's kind of a crisis.
208
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,080
Oh, yeah,
Dad forgot his lunch.
209
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,250
What?! No! If Dad comes home
hungry, I'm dead!
210
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:56,620
Sure, the guy can be
a little grumpy,
211
00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:58,040
but just steer clear
'til he's eaten.
212
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,330
Frank: What in tarnation
happened here?!
213
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,920
♪♪
214
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,080
[ Sniffs ]
215
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,080
Now I see the real reason
you sent Mom to the hairdresser.
216
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,420
You don't really care
about helping her
217
00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:12,290
be as beautiful
as she can be.
218
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,670
[ Sighs ]
This will all be taken care of.
219
00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:16,960
Oh, it will, once I call Mom
and Mom calls the police
220
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,540
and the police thank Mom
and Mom thanks me.
221
00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:20,880
And I say,
"Ho, ho, it's fine, Mom,
222
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,330
we can share the credit."
223
00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:23,420
[ Chuckles ]
224
00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:25,210
Stop!
225
00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:29,330
Give me that!
Ugh!
226
00:07:29,330 --> 00:07:31,330
You just added assault
to your crimes, mister!
227
00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:32,500
[ Growls ]
228
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,170
[ Grunting ]
229
00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:35,790
Break it up!
230
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:39,920
♪♪
231
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,540
[ Yelling ]
232
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:42,830
Frank: You'll be grounded
for --
233
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,250
So where's this dog
of yours?
234
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:47,880
He's trapped.
We have to rescue him.
235
00:07:52,580 --> 00:07:55,960
He belongs to the people
living at this house.
236
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,120
Now you sound like the people
that live here.
237
00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,170
He wants to play
with me.
238
00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:00,460
Watch!
No.
239
00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:01,540
No, no, no, no!
[ Dog barks ]
240
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:03,210
No, no!
No, no, no, no!
241
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,080
He must know a better way
to our house!
242
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,580
Tessie!
243
00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:09,830
What's happening doesn't match
what you're saying!
244
00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:11,420
♪♪
245
00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:13,670
Keep going straight.
246
00:08:13,670 --> 00:08:15,750
I thought Helen's
was near your house?
247
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:17,670
Wendi,
don't ask a million questions --
248
00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:19,670
just go with the flow.
249
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:21,250
You wanted me to have fun,
right?
250
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,880
Or maybe we should
just go home...
251
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,830
No, a-absolutely,
we'll go wherever you want.
252
00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:30,170
My mom was big on loyalty,
253
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:31,880
and planned to put Wendi
to the test
254
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,250
before letting this upstart
crack our family circle.
255
00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:35,580
Mom didn't have
a license
256
00:08:35,580 --> 00:08:37,250
but was completely
in the driver's seat.
257
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,290
Get on the Five Freeway.
258
00:08:39,290 --> 00:08:42,710
♪♪
259
00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,710
[ Sighs ]
260
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:46,540
I couldn't reach Dad.
261
00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:48,000
Maybe he'll buy
his lunch today.
262
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,670
When did a ham sandwich
go up to 75 cents?
263
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:54,540
That's ridiculous.
264
00:08:54,540 --> 00:08:55,620
Lou.
265
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:57,710
Lou: Yeah?
I'm running home.
266
00:08:57,710 --> 00:08:59,380
Are you new here?
267
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:00,710
Dad's not gonna want to pay
for lunch
268
00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:03,170
when he has a free sandwich
waiting at home.
269
00:09:03,170 --> 00:09:04,960
He still talks about
what a deal World War II was
270
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,880
because the Army paid
for his meals.
271
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,380
I am gonna tell him and Mom
everything!
272
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:12,830
You guys are gonna be
in so much trouble.
273
00:09:12,830 --> 00:09:14,750
William, untie me!
274
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,080
Or I'll smack you.
275
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,960
Well,
you are bigger than me,
276
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,620
but Eddie's
bigger than you,
277
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:23,830
so according to the transitive
property of smacking --
278
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,540
sorry,
outta luck.
279
00:09:25,540 --> 00:09:28,250
♪♪
280
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:29,620
If Dad got off for lunch
five minutes ago,
281
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,750
he's gonna be here
any minute.
282
00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:32,880
Oh. What if he doesn't
have to come inside?
283
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,080
His car pulls up, I just run out
and give him his sandwich!
284
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,710
Problem solved.
285
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:46,670
♪♪
286
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,290
What?
287
00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:51,290
[ Indistinct conversations ]
288
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,120
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
289
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,540
This is nice.
290
00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:56,330
Oh, wow, Mrs. Cleary.
291
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:59,710
This place
is very chichi. What?
292
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:01,790
You're saying these rich people
are better than us?
293
00:10:01,790 --> 00:10:03,500
Trick question --
of course they are.
294
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,880
But they don't know that.
295
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,080
Whatever I do,
play along.
296
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,460
I don't think
we should --
297
00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:10,040
Hi. We're here
for haircuts.
298
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,620
We're "appointment only."
And we're solidly booked.
299
00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:15,040
Excuse me.
300
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,330
It's for the best.
301
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,790
I wouldn't know
what to ask for here anyway.
302
00:10:17,790 --> 00:10:18,960
Don't be silly.
303
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,960
We didn't do freeway-driving
to give up now.
304
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,670
Do you have my back?
305
00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:26,290
Okay...
306
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:29,000
Um, I believe we're down
for 2:00,
307
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,120
but we're very early.
308
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,380
I'm Simone
and this is Bianca.
309
00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:34,960
[ Sighs ] I think
we can accommodate you now.
310
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,120
Does that work for you,
Bianca?
311
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,620
Ciao?
312
00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:41,920
[ Chuckles ]
313
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,920
You have any children,
Simone?
314
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,460
Mm. As a matter of fact, I have
eight adorable Pekingeses.
315
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:51,460
Oh.
316
00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,330
I think about 'em
like my children.
317
00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:54,830
Actually,
I sell their children.
318
00:10:54,830 --> 00:10:56,040
I'm a breeder.
319
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,120
I will have to give you
my number.
320
00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,960
I love Chinese dogs!
No.
321
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,080
Eight?
That seems like too many.
322
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,670
Oh, I think that every day,
Valentín.
323
00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:04,210
[ Laughs ]
324
00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:06,620
Bianca has
an interesting hobby --
325
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,250
falconry.
326
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,620
Tell 'em
all about Hercules.
327
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:13,040
I have a falcon.
328
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:17,540
And his name is Hercules.
329
00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:18,620
[ Laughter ]
330
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:21,170
You two are
the living end.
331
00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:22,620
[ Laughter ]
Don't go anywhere.
332
00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:24,330
Valentín, right back.
333
00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:26,210
Uh, those are
the girls upstairs.
334
00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,380
What are we doing,
Mrs. Cleary?
335
00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:28,620
We are doing
very little.
336
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,460
I'm doing
all the heavy lifting here.
337
00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:31,580
"I have a falcon.
338
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,040
His name is Hercules."
339
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,830
You're gonna blow this.
"Blow this"?
340
00:11:34,830 --> 00:11:37,250
What are gonna do
when Simone and Bianca get here?
341
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:38,500
You think we can't take
a Simone and a Bianca?
342
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,290
They probably weigh 12 pounds
between 'em.
343
00:11:40,290 --> 00:11:42,210
Champagne?
Oh, thank you.
344
00:11:42,210 --> 00:11:43,120
[ Chuckles ]
345
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,420
That's nice.
346
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,420
Mm.
347
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:47,080
Hm?
348
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,040
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna tell your mom.
349
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,460
I thought
you didn't drink.
350
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,000
Mike abstains --
351
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,290
a lot of sad boozers
on his side.
352
00:11:54,290 --> 00:11:57,120
But I've been known to sneak
a sip every now and again.
353
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,670
You know how that is.
354
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:00,620
Don't you?
355
00:12:04,210 --> 00:12:06,330
You snooze, you lose.
356
00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:07,790
Mm-hmm.
357
00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:09,250
♪♪
358
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,380
Pat, if he likes you
so much,
359
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:11,580
why is he running away?
360
00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:14,080
He's not running,
he's playing!
361
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,830
[ Dog barks ]
No. No! Pat, no, stop!
362
00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:17,040
Don't go in there!
363
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,290
There could be a sewer wolf
in there
364
00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:20,670
or a crazed hobo
with a thirst for blood!
365
00:12:20,670 --> 00:12:22,540
There isn't!
366
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:26,790
♪♪
367
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:28,790
Where's Tessie?
368
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:33,120
I don't know. That pipe
was like a mile long.
369
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,250
[ Dog barks ]
370
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:36,120
[ Dog barks ]
371
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,750
-Tessie!
-[ Groans ]
372
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:40,710
C'mon, William,
you're better than these guys.
373
00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:42,960
Just free me.
374
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:47,170
Better yet,
I'll free your imagination.
375
00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:49,170
Oh, no.
376
00:12:49,170 --> 00:12:51,420
"Quaytar sat on a dune
in the middle
377
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:53,040
of the Logorian desert
378
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,880
reflecting on the struggle
of the Magoryite people.
379
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,500
Was it in his destiny"...
I hate you so much.
380
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,830
You're telling me this is
the last of the meatloaf?
381
00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:01,330
Why'd you have to take
such a big bite?
382
00:13:01,330 --> 00:13:02,790
'Cause it's the last
of the meatloaf.
383
00:13:02,790 --> 00:13:04,880
Spread it out so it reaches
the edge of the bread.
384
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,790
There you go,
a meatloaf comb-over.
385
00:13:06,790 --> 00:13:08,210
There's not enough of it!
386
00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:09,670
Well, her meatloaf's
mostly bread crumbs anyway.
387
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:11,790
We could fill it up with
crackers and -- and ketchup.
388
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:14,580
Joey, watch for Dad
so we know when he gets here.
389
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:16,000
He's here.
390
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,380
There, I helped.
391
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,210
No!
392
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:19,170
Go outside and stall.
393
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:20,620
I need another minute.
394
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:23,620
♪♪
395
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:25,040
Hey, Pop.
¿Qué pasa?
396
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,380
I forgot
my damn lunch.
397
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:27,250
And speak English.
398
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:28,460
Hold on.
399
00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:30,210
I'm gonna be straight with you,
okay?
400
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,710
I was sent out here
to stall you
401
00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:33,290
so you don't see
some dicey stuff
402
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,960
that's going on inside
right now.
403
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,830
The good news is
you're gonna get your sandwich.
404
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:39,790
Where's your mother?
Exactly the type of question
405
00:13:39,790 --> 00:13:41,040
that'll just get you
drawn in deeper.
406
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,460
Look.
407
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:44,420
I know you're a man
with a lot on his plate.
408
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:46,120
You really want
to take this on?
409
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,790
Is anyone hurt
or in danger?
410
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:53,670
Nothing that can't be cleaned up
before you get home at 6:00.
411
00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:55,880
Oh, hey.
412
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,880
Here's your sandwich, Dad.
413
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,500
If anything has happened
to the TV,
414
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,000
this is a whole
different discussion.
415
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:08,000
♪♪
416
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,120
Whoa.
417
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,960
Oh, I like it, Ken.
418
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,120
This was definitely worth hiring
those eight dog-sitters.
419
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,290
Oh. [ Laughs ]
420
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:16,920
What do you think,
Bianca?
421
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:21,080
Wow, I feel like
a whole new person...
422
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,920
named Bianca.
423
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,170
You can take care of business
out front.
424
00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:26,420
And we now accept
Diners Club.
425
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:27,500
Of course you do.
426
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,830
Lovely to meet you gals.
427
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,040
You two are a gas.
428
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,000
Oh, come on.
You two.
429
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,920
We'll see you soon.
430
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,210
Oh, huh.
431
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,960
Mrs. Cleary,
I can't let you pay for that.
432
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,290
I have no intention
of paying this amount.
433
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:42,670
Helen never charged
more than $10.
434
00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:44,620
And she'd take a buck off if you
brought your own shampoo.
435
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:46,960
I'm gonna give 'em $20
for both of us.
436
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,750
And that's more than fair.
437
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,290
I don't think you get to choose
how much it costs.
438
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,540
You do if you're heading out
the back.
439
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:53,540
You with me?
440
00:14:53,540 --> 00:14:55,170
You can't just --
[ Door opens ]
441
00:14:59,670 --> 00:15:01,580
I can't believe
you did that!
442
00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:03,380
Well, if you feel bad, you can
go give your hairdo back.
443
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,790
"And as the green sun
set over the Vale of Lothar,
444
00:15:12,790 --> 00:15:15,210
Quaytar wondered
if he would ever see
445
00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:17,120
his beloved Persefony
again."
446
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,290
Alright.
You've suffered enough.
447
00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:19,380
You can come inside now.
448
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:20,460
About dang time.
449
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:21,830
I wasn't talking to you.
William.
450
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,750
No! Wait.
Don't leave me out here.
451
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,710
I don't even know what's
gonna happen to Quaytar.
452
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,210
A-At least tell me
how the story ends!
453
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:32,880
Do you promise
to keep your mouth shut
454
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,040
when Mom comes home?
455
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:38,540
Okay, untie him
and read him the book.
456
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:41,750
That was terrifying,
Mrs. Cleary.
457
00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:44,250
You scare me.
458
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:45,710
You know what scares me,
hon?
459
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:47,420
New people.
460
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:49,710
Coming to my house,
sniffing around my family.
461
00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:52,290
It's not easy
for me to trust.
462
00:15:52,290 --> 00:15:54,540
But you proved yourself to me
today --
463
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:56,920
backing me up the way you did
and stealing a hairdo.
464
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,620
So this was all a...?
465
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,330
A test.
466
00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:03,040
And you passed, Bianca.
467
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,620
Your loyalty today
almost makes up
468
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,790
for the bald-faced lying you did
back at the house.
469
00:16:06,790 --> 00:16:10,500
Suddenly all worried
that I need a day off?
470
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,250
Well, sure,
you work so hard and --
471
00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:14,500
Stop. The last person
to pull one over on me
472
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,250
was Bunny Delmonte.
473
00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:17,460
Never trusted that woman.
474
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:18,380
But you went
to her funeral.
475
00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:21,290
Just to make sure
she was dead.
476
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:23,170
So, are you ready to tell me
the truth
477
00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:24,670
about what happened
in Eddie's room?
478
00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:26,290
Yes, um...
479
00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:28,210
I'm sorry.
480
00:16:28,210 --> 00:16:30,670
There was this bottle
of Detroit Champagne
481
00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:32,250
that we were gonna drink
at the meteor shower tonight
482
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,790
and...
483
00:16:33,790 --> 00:16:35,670
it broke.
484
00:16:35,670 --> 00:16:37,620
I broke it.
485
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:38,920
You broke it?
486
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,250
It was all my idea,
my bottle of wine.
487
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,710
And Eddie didn't know
about it?
488
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:45,290
No, ma'am.
489
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:47,380
Well, I know for a fact
that's a lie...
490
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:48,420
Mrs. Cleary --
491
00:16:48,420 --> 00:16:50,750
But it's the right lie.
492
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,040
As much as I appreciate
your loyalty to me,
493
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:57,120
you protecting Eddie
is something I appreciate more.
494
00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,170
He's not
my most devious offspring.
495
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:03,210
He's gonna need people
who have his back.
496
00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:04,710
With the right friends,
I could see him
497
00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:07,210
adding value to society
one day.
498
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:09,880
You know, as a milkman
or something.
499
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,210
He can do
more than that.
500
00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:12,290
Calm down, honey.
You got the job.
501
00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:18,330
♪♪
502
00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:20,330
I really admire how devoted
you are to your children,
503
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,250
Mrs. Cleary.
504
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,250
That I am.
505
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:28,080
♪♪
506
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,830
But I'm not fanatical
about it.
507
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:30,790
Keep driving.
508
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:36,420
I think this is where our
journey with Tessie ends, Pat.
509
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,380
It's okay to be sad,
boy.
510
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,170
This isn't "goodbye,"
it's just --
511
00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:43,500
Okay, bye!
512
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:44,790
[ Dog barks ]
513
00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:51,080
He'll turn up, sweetie,
I swear.
514
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,460
[ Crying ]
515
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:55,170
Do you understand
why she's crying?
516
00:17:55,170 --> 00:17:59,120
I'd feel the same way
if I ever lost Tessie.
517
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,330
Peggy: I'm home!
518
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,210
[ Gasps ]
519
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,580
Eddie.
Mom.
520
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:13,380
House looks great.
Thanks.
521
00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:15,380
I didn't get a chance
to start on my room,
522
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:17,540
so it looks exactly how it did
when you left.
523
00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:19,880
I gotta say, Mom,
doing all your stuff for one day
524
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,210
gave me
a whole new appreciation.
525
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,580
I finally get
why you're so mean.
526
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:30,540
What's that little pink speck
there on the crucifix?
527
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:32,040
It's the blood of Christ.
528
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,880
Look, it wipes right off.
529
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,210
There.
530
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:38,710
It's good as new.
531
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,170
Hm.
532
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:44,290
"As he left Crayton,
533
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,040
he looked back at the nine rings
of his home planet
534
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:51,000
and knew that his past
would always be his future."
535
00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:54,290
[ Sighs ]
536
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:56,710
So that's the secret
of Quaytar.
537
00:18:56,710 --> 00:19:00,080
Or is it?
538
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,170
Whoa...
539
00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:03,000
[ Door opens and closes ]
540
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:06,250
I told you, Pop.
541
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:08,080
I'm a man of my word.
542
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,290
Meantime, the Watergate
grand jury is back in session,
543
00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:15,170
calling dirty tricks
expert...
544
00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:17,120
Okay, then.
545
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:22,040
♪♪
546
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,120
Adult Timmy: Even though we
often went our separate ways
547
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,670
and had our own adventures,
548
00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:27,750
dinner was the time
we could come together
549
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,420
as a family and avoid
talking about our day.
550
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:33,210
Eddie, good job with the
Stouffer's Frozen Lasagna.
551
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:35,540
50 minutes at 425.
552
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:38,750
I like the way Mom cuts it
into perfect squares.
553
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:40,540
I don't know what to do
with this mess.
554
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:42,750
Nothing beats your mom's
meatloaf sandwich.
555
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,500
Today's was the best ever.
556
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,250
Tasted the same to me.
[ Grunts ]
557
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:47,380
We need a dog.
558
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:48,500
I vote no.
559
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:49,710
Dog's a big responsibility.
560
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:50,830
Not like a fish
or a cat
561
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:52,420
where it doesn't matter
if you keep it alive.
562
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,460
Mm-hmm.
I can handle big responsibilities.
563
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,920
Okay, then, we've got that leak
in the roof.
564
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,580
You get up there and fix that,
then we'll talk dog.
565
00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:58,750
Yay!
566
00:19:58,750 --> 00:19:59,880
[ Door opens ]
567
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,880
I cannot believe it.
568
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,380
Is nobody even going to bring up
the real crime here today?
569
00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:08,920
The fact that no one
has even told Mom yet
570
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,500
how lovely her hair looks.
571
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,330
Oh, Frank.
572
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:13,420
Thank you.
573
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,880
Real nice hair, Peg.
574
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,750
You could be
one of those Gabor sisters.
575
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:20,170
Yeah. You know,
I completely, 100% agree.
576
00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:21,080
Beautiful.
577
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,620
Hm.
578
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,500
[ Door opens ]
[ Chuckles ]
579
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:29,750
Hi, Mrs. Cleary.
580
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,710
Oh, there you are,
Wendi.
581
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:33,620
Aren't you gonna compliment her
on her hairdo?
582
00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:34,960
Yeah, of course.
583
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,830
[ Chuckles ]
584
00:20:36,830 --> 00:20:38,420
Look at all that.
585
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:40,880
You ready to go?
586
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,420
We're headed up to Hansen Dam
to watch the meteor shower.
587
00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:44,670
That's a lot of interest
in Astronomy
588
00:20:44,670 --> 00:20:46,540
for a guy
who got a C-minus.
589
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:50,380
I believe my friend Wendi
is staying with us tonight.
590
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:52,170
Your mom wants to teach me
how to decoupage.
591
00:20:52,170 --> 00:20:54,830
She's amazing
and so crafty.
592
00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:56,710
She's definitely crafty.
593
00:20:56,710 --> 00:20:58,080
Hm.
Seems a shame
594
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,380
to miss
the Perseids Maximus tonight.
595
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,880
♪♪
596
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:03,920
I'll go with you, buddy.
597
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,420
Ah.
598
00:21:05,420 --> 00:21:07,420
♪♪
599
00:21:07,470 --> 00:21:12,020
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