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1
00:00:54,863 --> 00:00:58,263
(Man) Now is the time! Repent now!
2
00:00:58,263 --> 00:01:01,063
You may not like it,
ladies and gentlemen,
3
00:01:01,163 --> 00:01:05,963
l may not like it,
Your King of England may not like it,
4
00:01:06,063 --> 00:01:09,563
but it is coming, ladies and gentlemen,
oh, yes.
5
00:01:09,663 --> 00:01:11,863
And do you want to know something?
6
00:01:11,963 --> 00:01:15,063
There's not a thing
that you or l can do about it.
7
00:01:15,163 --> 00:01:20,163
(Man) You can look it up for yourselves
when l finish if you don't believe me.
8
00:01:20,263 --> 00:01:25,463
lt's a fact proved by science that the
worst spreader of disease and pestilence
9
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:29,363
since the brown rat spread
the Black Death round Europe in 1492
10
00:01:29,463 --> 00:01:32,163
- is your budgerigar.
- Mr Wooster, surely.
11
00:01:32,263 --> 00:01:34,763
Oh, what ho, Lord Bittlesham!
Going strong?
12
00:01:34,763 --> 00:01:37,463
Yes, l'm in excellent health, thank you.
And you?
13
00:01:37,563 --> 00:01:39,863
ln the pink, yes.
Have you seen Bingo lately?
14
00:01:39,963 --> 00:01:41,863
- Bingo?
- Your nephew.
15
00:01:41,963 --> 00:01:45,763
Oh, Richard. No. Since my marriage,
a little coolness has sprung up.
16
00:01:45,863 --> 00:01:48,863
Oh. l'm sorry to hear that.
Lady Bittlesham all right?
17
00:01:48,963 --> 00:01:51,263
Excellent, thank you. Excellent.
18
00:01:51,363 --> 00:01:54,663
l say, you're the owner of Ocean Breeze,
aren't you?
19
00:01:54,763 --> 00:01:57,663
Yes. My wife is interested
in horse racing,
20
00:01:57,763 --> 00:01:59,663
so l now maintain a stable.
21
00:01:59,763 --> 00:02:04,463
l understand that Ocean Breeze is...
fancied, l believe the expression is,
22
00:02:04,563 --> 00:02:07,763
for a race which will take place next week
at Goodwood.
23
00:02:07,863 --> 00:02:11,463
The Goodwood Cup. Rather, yes.
l've got my shillings on it for one.
24
00:02:11,563 --> 00:02:16,363
There's two of them now! Look at them!
Drink them in, comrades!
25
00:02:16,463 --> 00:02:21,563
There we have two examples of the class
which has trodden down the poor.
26
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:24,563
ldlers. Non-producers.
27
00:02:24,663 --> 00:02:28,363
Look at the tall thin one
with a face like a motor mascot.
28
00:02:28,463 --> 00:02:33,563
Has he ever done an honest day's work
in his life? No. A prowler,
29
00:02:33,663 --> 00:02:39,363
a bloodsucker, and l bet
he still owes his tailor for those trousers.
30
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:42,863
A gift for expression, these fellows have.
Very trenchant.
31
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:47,563
And the fat one, don't miss him.
That's Lord Bittlesham, that's who.
32
00:02:47,663 --> 00:02:51,763
What has he ever done
except eat four square meals a day?
33
00:02:52,863 --> 00:02:55,663
l'll leave you with that thought.
34
00:02:55,763 --> 00:03:01,063
l don't oppose the right to free speech,
but l refuse to listen to vulgar abuse.
35
00:03:01,163 --> 00:03:03,163
Good day to you, Mr Wooster.
36
00:03:03,263 --> 00:03:07,363
(Man) Today, comrades,
on the verge of the revolution!
37
00:03:08,463 --> 00:03:10,763
The hour is nearly on us
38
00:03:10,863 --> 00:03:15,663
when we shall turn their own weapons
on our capitalist exploiters!
39
00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,663
Do l know you?
40
00:03:17,763 --> 00:03:19,963
- What ho, Bertie!
- Bingo!
41
00:03:22,363 --> 00:03:25,763
What are you up to, Bingo?
l thought your uncle would have a fit.
42
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,863
Yes. This is the real thing.
43
00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,863
Her name's Charlotte Rowbotham.
44
00:03:37,963 --> 00:03:41,263
Her father wants to massacre
the bourgeoisie, sack Park Lane
45
00:03:41,363 --> 00:03:43,263
and disembowel the aristocracy.
46
00:03:43,363 --> 00:03:46,863
- Can't say fairer than that, can you?
- Yes, George, pink gins.
47
00:03:46,963 --> 00:03:50,563
- Where did you meet this woman?
- On top of a bus.
48
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:53,463
l fell in love, got her address
and a few days later,
49
00:03:53,563 --> 00:03:56,663
bought the beard,
and toddled round to meet the family.
50
00:03:56,763 --> 00:03:59,663
- Why the beard?
- Well, she told me about her father,
51
00:03:59,763 --> 00:04:03,863
and l saw, to get any footing, l'd have to
join these Red Dawn blighters.
52
00:04:03,963 --> 00:04:08,563
lf l did, l'd have to make speeches in the
park, and l might run into people l knew.
53
00:04:08,663 --> 00:04:10,663
lt's done a lot of good with Rowbotham.
54
00:04:10,763 --> 00:04:15,063
He thinks l'm a Bolshevist
who is in disguise because of the police.
55
00:04:15,163 --> 00:04:17,263
What are you doing this afternoon?
56
00:04:17,363 --> 00:04:20,863
- Nothing special. Why?
- You can have us all to tea at your flat.
57
00:04:20,963 --> 00:04:24,663
l had promised to take them
to Lyons Popular Cafe after the meeting,
58
00:04:24,663 --> 00:04:26,863
but money's a problem these days.
59
00:04:26,963 --> 00:04:29,363
You er...know my uncle got married?
60
00:04:30,363 --> 00:04:32,463
Yes. Yes.
61
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:36,363
Hmm... Since he married,
he's been spending money on her
62
00:04:36,463 --> 00:04:40,463
and economising on me. Bought
a racing stable among other things.
63
00:04:40,563 --> 00:04:42,763
- You're going to Goodwood?
- Of course.
64
00:04:42,863 --> 00:04:45,263
Put your last collar stud
on Ocean Breeze.
65
00:04:45,363 --> 00:04:47,363
- l'm going to.
- lt can't lose.
66
00:04:47,463 --> 00:04:50,363
l'm going to win enough
to marry Charlotte.
67
00:04:51,463 --> 00:04:53,463
Oh, by the way, about tea...
68
00:04:53,563 --> 00:04:56,563
- l hardly think...
- lt'll just be the four of us,
69
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:59,963
Charlotte, myself, old man Rowbotham
and Comrade Butt.
70
00:05:00,063 --> 00:05:01,963
Who the devil is Comrade Butt?
71
00:05:02,063 --> 00:05:05,463
Small, shrivelled chap.
Looks like a haddock with lung trouble.
72
00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:08,563
He's sort of semi-engaged to Charlotte
at the moment.
73
00:05:08,663 --> 00:05:11,163
Till l came along,
he was the blue-eyed boy.
74
00:05:11,263 --> 00:05:13,163
Oh, well, must push on.
75
00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:16,263
You don't know
how to raise 50 quid somehow, do you?
76
00:05:16,363 --> 00:05:18,363
- Work?
- Bertie!
77
00:05:19,463 --> 00:05:21,463
No, l must think of some way.
78
00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:24,563
l need to put at least 50 quid
on Ocean Breeze.
79
00:05:24,663 --> 00:05:26,563
Oh, well, see you later.
80
00:05:31,463 --> 00:05:33,363
- Jeeves, l'm worried.
- Sir?
81
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,363
About Mr Little. l won't tell you now.
82
00:05:35,463 --> 00:05:38,963
He's bringing friends for tea
and l want you to form your own opinion.
83
00:05:39,063 --> 00:05:42,063
- Very good, sir.
- l will only say it concerns a young lady.
84
00:05:42,163 --> 00:05:45,863
One had surmised as much, sir,
bearing in mind Mr Little's propensities.
85
00:05:45,963 --> 00:05:48,863
l've only seen photographs.
She may have a heart of gold,
86
00:05:48,963 --> 00:05:52,363
but the first thing that strikes one
is that she has a tooth of gold.
87
00:05:52,463 --> 00:05:55,563
- Very good, sir.
- Jeeves, about tea, get some muffins.
88
00:05:55,663 --> 00:05:58,363
- Yes, sir.
- Also some ham, jam, cakes...
89
00:05:58,463 --> 00:06:02,163
scrambled eggs
and five or six wagon loads of sardines.
90
00:06:02,263 --> 00:06:04,663
- Sardines, sir?
- Sardines.
91
00:06:05,863 --> 00:06:08,663
- Don't look at me. lt's not my fault.
- No, sir.
92
00:06:08,763 --> 00:06:10,763
- Oh, and, Jeeves...
- Yes, sir?
93
00:06:10,863 --> 00:06:13,963
These friends of Mr Little's
are revolutionaries.
94
00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:17,763
l don't think they'll feel comfortable
with me having a manservant.
95
00:06:17,863 --> 00:06:21,463
- l understand, sir.
- lf we make out that we are chums,
96
00:06:21,563 --> 00:06:23,763
it might just ease the wheels a bit.
97
00:06:23,863 --> 00:06:26,263
Chums, sir. Yes.
98
00:06:27,463 --> 00:06:29,363
(Door bell)
99
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:40,563
- Aunt Dahlia! What ho, old relation!
- Hello, Bertie, revolting young blot.
100
00:06:40,663 --> 00:06:43,963
- l thought you were in the country.
- l am. Are you sober?
101
00:06:44,063 --> 00:06:46,263
- As a judge.
- Then listen attentively.
102
00:06:46,363 --> 00:06:48,863
l am supposed to be staying
at Marsham Manor
103
00:06:48,963 --> 00:06:52,163
with Cornelia Fothergill, the novelist.
Ever heard of her?
104
00:06:52,263 --> 00:06:56,263
- Vaguely. She's not on my library list.
- She would be if you were a woman.
105
00:06:56,363 --> 00:06:59,263
She specialises in rich goo
for the female trade.
106
00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:04,063
l'm trying to persuade her to let me
serialise her novel for Milady's Boudoir.
107
00:07:04,163 --> 00:07:07,263
- How is the old mag?
- The old mag's losing money
108
00:07:07,363 --> 00:07:10,863
as fast as any tasteful magazine
for the lady of refinement.
109
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:15,363
A new serial by Cornelia Fothergill
would just about save our bacon,
110
00:07:15,463 --> 00:07:19,963
but Cornelia's being no help whatsoever.
She doesn't say no, won't say yes.
111
00:07:20,063 --> 00:07:23,063
That's why you're coming down
to Marsham Manor.
112
00:07:23,163 --> 00:07:25,063
- l am?
- ln person.
113
00:07:25,163 --> 00:07:28,163
- What on earth for?
- To help me sway her.
114
00:07:28,263 --> 00:07:32,063
You'll exercise all your charm,
give her the old oil.
115
00:07:32,163 --> 00:07:35,063
l don't know.
l'm meant to be going to Goodwood.
116
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,763
- (Doorbell)
- Marsham-in-the-Vale is next door.
117
00:07:38,863 --> 00:07:42,263
The starter practically waves his flag
out of my bedroom window.
118
00:07:42,363 --> 00:07:44,963
Oh. That puts
a different complexion on things.
119
00:07:48,263 --> 00:07:51,863
Beg pardon, Comrade Wooster,
some persons to see you.
120
00:07:51,863 --> 00:07:55,763
Oh, Comrade Wooster,
we've heard stories of your exploits
121
00:07:55,863 --> 00:07:58,063
in the fight against capitalism.
122
00:07:59,163 --> 00:08:02,763
- Who are these people, Bertie?
- Well, Bingo Little you know.
123
00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:06,563
- Do l?
- And this, l take it is Mr Rowbotham.
124
00:08:06,563 --> 00:08:09,663
Pleased to make your acquaintance,
comrades.
125
00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:13,463
This is my daughter, Comrade Charlotte,
and he's Comrade Butt.
126
00:08:13,563 --> 00:08:15,563
But what? (Chuckling)
127
00:08:18,563 --> 00:08:21,663
Comrade Butt yearns
for the revolution just like you do.
128
00:08:21,763 --> 00:08:24,463
Comrade Wooster never yearned
for anything
129
00:08:24,563 --> 00:08:27,363
except a stone-dead cert at 100-1 .
130
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:31,363
Oh, you will have your little joke,
Comrade Dahlia.
131
00:08:31,463 --> 00:08:34,063
- l think l'd better go.
- Right. Right.
132
00:08:35,563 --> 00:08:38,663
l don't know what you're up to just now,
Bertie,
133
00:08:38,763 --> 00:08:41,063
but l expect you
at Marsham Manor tomorrow.
134
00:08:41,163 --> 00:08:45,063
- There's something l want you to do.
- What sort of something?
135
00:08:45,163 --> 00:08:49,263
l'll tell you when you get there.
Something to help Aunty. You'll enjoy it.
136
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,363
Toodle-oo, comrades.
137
00:08:54,563 --> 00:08:57,363
- Lovely ham, Pop.
- Ham, muffins, eggs...
138
00:08:57,463 --> 00:09:01,063
all wrung from the bleeding lips
of the starving poor.
139
00:09:01,163 --> 00:09:03,063
l say! Please!
140
00:09:03,163 --> 00:09:06,263
l wonder the food doesn't turn to ashes
in our mouths.
141
00:09:06,363 --> 00:09:09,463
- Another sardine, Comrade Butt?
- Very well,
142
00:09:09,563 --> 00:09:13,063
but only to express solidarity
with our Portuguese brothers.
143
00:09:13,163 --> 00:09:16,063
And why aren't you sitting down,
Comrade Jeeves?
144
00:09:16,163 --> 00:09:21,463
The history of the revolution is putting
food on the plates of the proletariat.
145
00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:25,463
- Well said, Comrade Jeeves!
- Never mind about well said.
146
00:09:25,563 --> 00:09:27,463
He's behaving like a servant.
147
00:09:27,563 --> 00:09:29,963
Servant? No, no, no!
We take it in turns.
148
00:09:30,063 --> 00:09:33,063
One day, l do the chores,
then the next day, Comrade Jeeves.
149
00:09:33,163 --> 00:09:35,663
lt's Comrade Jeeves's day,
isn't it, old pal?
150
00:09:35,763 --> 00:09:39,763
lndeed it is, Comrade sir...
er...old pal, chum.
151
00:09:39,863 --> 00:09:42,163
Why don't you sit down,
Comrade Jeeves?
152
00:09:42,263 --> 00:09:45,363
- l'll show Comrade Butt how it all works.
- Very good, comrade.
153
00:09:45,463 --> 00:09:47,963
Now, who'd like some more tea?
154
00:09:48,063 --> 00:09:51,363
You'll find it needs some more hot water,
comrade.
155
00:09:51,463 --> 00:09:53,463
Hot water? Right. Yes.
156
00:09:53,563 --> 00:09:56,563
From the kettle, Comrade Wooster,
of course.
157
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,663
Naturally, Comrade Jeeves.
158
00:09:58,763 --> 00:10:01,363
Right, well...no sooner said than whatsit.
159
00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:08,763
l'll send you some literature
on the cause, Comrade Jeeves.
160
00:10:08,863 --> 00:10:13,163
- Perhaps we shall see you at a meeting.
- Perhaps indeed, Comrade Rowbotham.
161
00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:16,463
l don't know what you've done
to the cooker, Comrade Jeeves,
162
00:10:16,563 --> 00:10:18,463
but l can't get the gas lit.
163
00:10:20,063 --> 00:10:22,763
- (Whispering) lt's electric, sir.
- Oh.
164
00:10:25,863 --> 00:10:29,163
There's something fishy
about your friends, Comrade Little.
165
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:32,563
You're suspicious of everything,
Charlie Butt.
166
00:10:32,663 --> 00:10:35,863
l am not, but look around you.
ls this the dwelling of a worker?
167
00:10:35,963 --> 00:10:40,263
Full-blown bourgeois decadence,
that's what l call it.
168
00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:42,263
Good grub, though.
169
00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:45,763
Yes, soon have the hot water.
We got a new cooker yesterday.
170
00:10:45,863 --> 00:10:48,263
- l haven't got the hang of it.
- Ahem.
171
00:10:48,363 --> 00:10:51,463
- Electric, you know.
- l can't recall, Comrade Wooster...
172
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:56,363
What was it Comrade Stalin said
about socialism in that respect?
173
00:10:56,463 --> 00:10:59,763
- Comrade...?
- l think Comrade Butt is referring
174
00:10:59,863 --> 00:11:04,563
to Comrade Stalin's report to the
Congress of Soviets in December 1920,
175
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:07,663
in which he said
socialism was soviet power
176
00:11:07,763 --> 00:11:10,863
plus the electrification
of the whole country.
177
00:11:11,863 --> 00:11:12,563
Oh...
178
00:11:16,163 --> 00:11:20,263
Well, Jeeves, you did awfully well. Where
did you learn about the revolution?
179
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:24,063
lt is as well to know
what tunes the devil is playing, sir.
180
00:11:24,163 --> 00:11:28,563
- What about Charlotte Rowbotham?
- l prefer not to express an opinion, sir.
181
00:11:28,663 --> 00:11:31,163
Jeeves, Bingo is in love with that female.
182
00:11:32,063 --> 00:11:35,963
So l gather, sir.
She was slapping him in the corridor.
183
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:39,063
- Slapping him?
- Yes, sir.
184
00:11:39,163 --> 00:11:41,263
Roguishly.
185
00:11:41,363 --> 00:11:44,863
l didn't realise it had quite got that far.
How did Comrade Butt take it?
186
00:11:44,963 --> 00:11:49,563
- He struck me as extremely jealous, sir.
- Jeeves, this is a bit thick.
187
00:11:49,663 --> 00:11:51,663
- Very much so, sir.
- Hmm...
188
00:11:53,663 --> 00:11:55,463
Pip pip.
189
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:12,063
Why is it that the thought
of the little thing
190
00:12:12,163 --> 00:12:15,663
Aunt Dahlia wants me to do
fills me with foreboding?
191
00:12:15,763 --> 00:12:17,663
Experience, sir?
192
00:12:21,263 --> 00:12:24,063
You must be Dahlia's nephew,
Mr Wooster.
193
00:12:24,163 --> 00:12:26,763
- Yes, absolutely.
- How nice of you to join us.
194
00:12:26,863 --> 00:12:29,563
- l'm Cornelia Fothergill.
- How do you do?
195
00:12:29,663 --> 00:12:32,763
l thought we'd put Mr Wooster
in the gate room, Denning.
196
00:12:32,863 --> 00:12:36,263
- Very good, Mrs Fothergill.
- My husband is in his studio.
197
00:12:36,363 --> 00:12:40,163
Why don't we introduce you
and try to get him to finish for the day?
198
00:12:40,263 --> 00:12:42,163
- Well, l'm game.
- Bertie!
199
00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:46,963
- Madeline, l didn't know you were here.
- Mrs Fothergill's helping with my poetry.
200
00:12:47,063 --> 00:12:51,463
We're trying to persuade Madeline to
give us a reading after dinner one night.
201
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:55,063
- That's something to look forward to.
- Come along, Mr Wooster.
202
00:12:55,163 --> 00:12:57,763
- You shouldn't have come.
- Oh, well...
203
00:12:57,863 --> 00:12:59,963
You've got to forget me, Bertie.
204
00:13:00,063 --> 00:13:02,063
Let the past die.
205
00:13:03,463 --> 00:13:05,363
Die... Yes...right.
206
00:13:07,863 --> 00:13:10,563
Everard's painting Lord Sidcup
at the moment.
207
00:13:10,663 --> 00:13:13,963
- Really? What colour? (Chuckling)
- l don't understand.
208
00:13:14,063 --> 00:13:17,563
- No. No. A portrait, eh?
- On the occasion of his elevation.
209
00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:20,163
This is Mrs Travers' nephew, Everard.
210
00:13:20,263 --> 00:13:23,363
My husband, Mr Wooster,
Everard Fothergill.
211
00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:26,163
- How do you do?
- Yes, yes, yes.
212
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:29,263
Everard's father's a painter too,
Mr Wooster.
213
00:13:29,363 --> 00:13:31,563
- You'll meet him at dinner.
- Ah.
214
00:13:31,663 --> 00:13:34,963
- l say, jolly clever painting, that.
- You like it?
215
00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:40,363
l know that face, don't l? Ugly devil.
No, no, it looks just like that fellow...
216
00:13:40,463 --> 00:13:42,763
- Wooster!
- Ah!
217
00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,863
Damn and blast it!
218
00:13:44,963 --> 00:13:48,963
- l'm most awfully sorry!
- What are you doing here, Wooster?
219
00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:51,963
Oh, you know. This and that.
Hither and yon.
220
00:13:52,063 --> 00:13:55,563
- l say, l like your hat.
- lt's a coronet, Mr Wooster.
221
00:13:55,663 --> 00:13:58,463
Mr Spode is now
the seventh earl of Sidcup.
222
00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:01,963
- Good lord!
- Since the lamented death of my uncle,
223
00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:05,963
l'm now touring the country bidding
farewell to my legions
224
00:14:06,063 --> 00:14:07,963
of the Saviours of Britain.
225
00:14:08,063 --> 00:14:12,763
- You're leaving the Black Shorts?
- l'm called to higher government.
226
00:14:12,863 --> 00:14:16,263
Tomorrow, l address
the Marsham Parver Gannet Division,
227
00:14:16,363 --> 00:14:18,963
which will be a moving occasion.
228
00:14:19,063 --> 00:14:22,863
That's how he came to paint
Chelsea Bridge.
229
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,263
My father-in-law's a fine painter.
230
00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:28,263
There's paint in the blood, you see.
231
00:14:28,363 --> 00:14:30,363
Crikey!
232
00:14:30,463 --> 00:14:33,763
l trust you'll all be at the rally tomorrow
to hear my farewell...
233
00:14:33,863 --> 00:14:36,863
Gaskill never got his five bob either.
234
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:39,463
- Not many people know that.
- Really?
235
00:14:39,563 --> 00:14:42,763
- (Groaning)
- Ah, you were talking of blood.
236
00:14:44,263 --> 00:14:47,463
My movement is dedicated
to founding a new order
237
00:14:47,563 --> 00:14:49,663
based on fairness and equality.
238
00:14:49,663 --> 00:14:51,563
(Groaning)
239
00:14:51,663 --> 00:14:56,263
My elevation to the peerage because of
an accident of blood is grossly unfair.
240
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,763
Did you have a nasty accident, Uncle?
241
00:14:58,863 --> 00:15:00,263
(Groaning continues)
242
00:15:00,363 --> 00:15:04,663
We will bring in legislation to ensure
every citizen has the same right.
243
00:15:04,763 --> 00:15:08,663
- (Groaning)
- A dustman's son will have a guaranteed
244
00:15:08,763 --> 00:15:12,263
and inalienable right
to become a dustman.
245
00:15:12,363 --> 00:15:15,063
- What a clever idea!
- And so forth.
246
00:15:15,163 --> 00:15:18,063
lt would be written into
the law of the land.
247
00:15:18,163 --> 00:15:21,263
- (Groaning stops)
- l trust that you will be able to hear
248
00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:25,163
my farewell to the gannet division
at Marsham Parver.
249
00:15:25,263 --> 00:15:30,163
(Wooster) Yes, yes, l've got to polish
the golf clubs, you know.
250
00:15:40,763 --> 00:15:42,963
- Comrade Butt, is it not?
- What?
251
00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:47,063
- May l join you?
- Oh, yes. All right.
252
00:15:51,163 --> 00:15:55,263
You're that Jeeves, aren't you,
that friend of Comrade Little?
253
00:15:55,363 --> 00:15:58,563
- lndeed, Comrade Butt.
- l don't care if you are.
254
00:15:58,663 --> 00:16:02,063
l speak my mind.
l don't trust that Comrade Little.
255
00:16:02,163 --> 00:16:04,263
lndeed, comrade?
256
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,563
lndeed.
257
00:16:06,663 --> 00:16:08,563
( Tranquil piano)
258
00:16:14,863 --> 00:16:16,763
- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, Bertie...
259
00:16:17,763 --> 00:16:22,263
- l need someone to turn the pages.
- l'll go and find someone, shall l?
260
00:16:22,363 --> 00:16:25,463
Don't be silly, Bertie. You can do it.
261
00:16:26,563 --> 00:16:28,463
Ah. Mmm. Right.
262
00:16:34,663 --> 00:16:36,563
lsn't it beautiful?
263
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,663
Well...mmm...yes.
264
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:43,163
Don't you think George Sand had a
beneficial influence on Chopin's work?
265
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:45,863
- Didn't know he knew him.
- (Simpering)
266
00:16:46,763 --> 00:16:50,263
Oh, Bertie, l'm nearly at the bottom
of the page now.
267
00:16:50,363 --> 00:16:52,163
(Squealing) Bertie!
268
00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:56,663
My dress is very wet!
269
00:16:59,063 --> 00:17:00,963
Wooster!
270
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:05,263
- Get on your feet, you swine!
- l... Now, look here...
271
00:17:05,363 --> 00:17:08,663
l have had to talk to you before
about pestering Miss Bassett.
272
00:17:08,763 --> 00:17:11,163
l shall not tell you again.
Do you understand?
273
00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:13,863
Miss Bassett does not welcome
your attentions.
274
00:17:13,963 --> 00:17:15,963
lf l catch you, just once more,
275
00:17:16,063 --> 00:17:18,963
trying to force yourself
on the poor, harmless girl,
276
00:17:19,063 --> 00:17:22,263
l shall tear your head off and make you
carry it around in a bag.
277
00:17:22,363 --> 00:17:24,863
- Do l make myself clear?
- Yes, but...
278
00:17:24,963 --> 00:17:29,563
No buts, Wooster. No wells.
You will keep your attentions to yourself.
279
00:17:29,663 --> 00:17:31,963
- Do you understand?
- Yes, Spode.
280
00:17:32,063 --> 00:17:35,263
- Lord Sidcup to you!
- Lord Spodecup.
281
00:17:36,063 --> 00:17:37,963
Sidcup! Right, yes.
282
00:17:39,863 --> 00:17:41,763
- Bertie...
- What?
283
00:17:41,863 --> 00:17:44,763
- Come with me.
- You didn't tell me Spode was here.
284
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:46,863
Just be quiet and listen.
285
00:17:46,963 --> 00:17:51,263
Did you notice anything odd
about Everard Fothergill at dinner?
286
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:56,063
- Well, he was groaning a lot.
- l'm not surprised. lt's because of this.
287
00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:05,763
Everard's father painted that.
288
00:18:06,863 --> 00:18:09,263
He gave it to Everard
as a wedding present.
289
00:18:09,363 --> 00:18:13,263
Ah...thus saving money
on the customary fish slice. Shrewd.
290
00:18:13,363 --> 00:18:15,663
- Very shrewd.
- Well, as you can see it's a mess,
291
00:18:15,763 --> 00:18:19,063
but being devoted to his father,
not wanting to hurt his feelings,
292
00:18:19,063 --> 00:18:22,663
Everard can't have put in the cellar,
so he's stuck with it.
293
00:18:22,763 --> 00:18:27,663
Has to sit looking at it every time he puts
on the nosebag, with what result?
294
00:18:27,763 --> 00:18:32,363
- The food turns to ashes in his mouth.
- Exactly. lt drives him potty.
295
00:18:32,463 --> 00:18:34,363
Everard's a real artist.
296
00:18:34,463 --> 00:18:37,563
His stuff's good.
Some of it's even in the Tate.
297
00:18:37,663 --> 00:18:40,163
Look at that. That's one of Everard's.
298
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:45,263
- Oh, l like the patina.
- You don't even know what a patina is.
299
00:18:45,363 --> 00:18:49,963
Well, no, but it's generally safe to say
that when confronted with a bit of art.
300
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:54,263
Cornelia wants her father-in-law's terrible
picture destroyed.
301
00:18:54,363 --> 00:18:57,463
She'd be so grateful to anyone
who accomplishes this,
302
00:18:57,563 --> 00:18:59,763
she'd be unable to refuse them anything.
303
00:18:59,863 --> 00:19:02,163
You're going to pinch it for me.
304
00:19:03,463 --> 00:19:06,963
- But...
- There, l knew you'd want to help.
305
00:19:08,463 --> 00:19:10,663
What a dear, helpful boy he is.
306
00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:29,463
- Oh, he looks lovely, doesn't he?
- The bookies are offering 7-2.
307
00:19:29,563 --> 00:19:32,663
- Oh, lovely!
- He's a fine animal, Lady Bittlesham.
308
00:19:32,763 --> 00:19:36,063
Do you like our colours, Mr Wooster,
yellow and black stripes?
309
00:19:36,163 --> 00:19:38,663
As long as he doesn't think
his jockey's a wasp.
310
00:19:38,663 --> 00:19:40,763
Ahem. Beg pardon, my lord.
311
00:19:40,863 --> 00:19:44,563
A person called at the door and asked
for this to be delivered to you.
312
00:19:44,663 --> 00:19:48,363
- Who was this person, Watkins?
- l couldn't say, m'lady.
313
00:19:48,463 --> 00:19:50,763
A youngish person with a big beard.
314
00:19:50,863 --> 00:19:53,963
- Good God!
- What is it, my dear?
315
00:19:54,063 --> 00:19:58,263
- A most dastardly, threatening letter.
- Threatening letter?
316
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,563
''Unless you leave £50 under the large
white stone
317
00:20:01,663 --> 00:20:04,563
''at the back of the main stand
at Goodwood...
318
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:06,663
''..you will live to regret it.''
319
00:20:06,763 --> 00:20:09,163
Oh, Mortimer!
320
00:20:09,263 --> 00:20:11,963
- Oh, my dear.
- What ho, Uncle! Auntie!
321
00:20:12,063 --> 00:20:14,763
- Hello, Bertie. Jeeves.
- Richard, thank heavens!
322
00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:17,963
- Look.
- Good lord!
323
00:20:18,563 --> 00:20:20,963
- When did this come?
- A few moments ago.
324
00:20:21,063 --> 00:20:25,163
Delivered by a youngish person
with a big beard.
325
00:20:26,363 --> 00:20:28,363
Good Lord.
326
00:20:28,963 --> 00:20:32,163
You don't suppose it was the fellow
you were telling me about,
327
00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:34,863
the one who insulted you
at Speakers' Corner?
328
00:20:34,963 --> 00:20:37,863
- lt could have been, l suppose.
- l thought as much.
329
00:20:37,963 --> 00:20:40,863
- Did you now?
- This is political.
330
00:20:40,963 --> 00:20:44,263
Give me the £50, Uncle Mortimer.
l'll deal with this.
331
00:20:44,363 --> 00:20:49,163
- Oughtn't we to go to the police?
- No. They'd...hamper my investigations.
332
00:20:51,663 --> 00:20:53,663
Don't worry, Aunty.
333
00:20:57,763 --> 00:21:01,363
Bingo... Silly to ask,
but you did write that letter, didn't you?
334
00:21:01,463 --> 00:21:04,363
One of the best gent's threatening letters
l ever wrote.
335
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:06,363
With a bit of tact, l get what l need
336
00:21:06,463 --> 00:21:09,663
to put on Ocean Breeze
to finance my marriage to Charlotte.
337
00:21:09,763 --> 00:21:12,063
By the way,
what did you think of Charlotte?
338
00:21:12,163 --> 00:21:14,063
- Well...
- l know, old man.
339
00:21:14,163 --> 00:21:16,963
Don't try and find words.
Left you speechless, eh?
340
00:21:17,063 --> 00:21:20,763
She has that effect on everybody.
Oh, well, toodle-oo.
341
00:21:27,263 --> 00:21:30,563
l hope Lord Sidcup won't embarrass us
with his silly meeting.
342
00:21:30,663 --> 00:21:33,363
The man's an idiot.
His mother was an idiot too.
343
00:21:33,463 --> 00:21:36,063
We won't go into that, thank you,
Father-in-law.
344
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,463
(Car horn)
345
00:21:40,863 --> 00:21:42,963
(Car horn)
346
00:21:46,963 --> 00:21:49,763
Goodwood's always a big day for us,
eh, Charlotte?
347
00:21:49,863 --> 00:21:51,763
Oh, it is, Pop. Yes.
348
00:21:51,863 --> 00:21:54,863
l mean, 90%"" of them
put their money on losers.
349
00:21:54,963 --> 00:21:59,863
Then they see the capitalist system
exposed for what it really is.
350
00:21:59,963 --> 00:22:01,863
(Car horn)
351
00:22:04,263 --> 00:22:06,263
Capitalist hyena!
352
00:22:18,063 --> 00:22:20,763
l wonder if Bingo and that woman
are here, Jeeves.
353
00:22:20,863 --> 00:22:25,463
They're in the vicinity. l saw Comrade
Butt in a local alehouse last night.
354
00:22:26,563 --> 00:22:29,163
At 2-1 , Ocean Breeze. 2-1 , Ocean Breeze.
355
00:22:32,063 --> 00:22:35,563
6-4, Ocean Breeze. 6-4, Ocean Breeze.
356
00:22:42,863 --> 00:22:45,663
Ocean Breeze looks the part,
don't you think, Jeeves?
357
00:22:45,763 --> 00:22:49,363
l must confess l find something
disquieting in the gait, Mrs Travers.
358
00:22:49,463 --> 00:22:52,063
- l see nothing wrong.
- l can't put my finger on it.
359
00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:56,363
Perhaps a certain maritime roll. lt brings
to mind the old bookmaker's adage,
360
00:22:56,463 --> 00:22:59,763
walk like a sailor, run like a walrus.
361
00:22:59,863 --> 00:23:01,763
Oh, apple sauce, Jeeves.
362
00:23:01,863 --> 00:23:02,263
Oh!
363
00:23:03,063 --> 00:23:07,763
Hasn't that horse got a sweet little face?
The one with the jockey in pink and blue.
364
00:23:07,863 --> 00:23:10,463
l'm going to bet all my money
on that one,
365
00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:12,563
Romeo Lad.
366
00:23:12,663 --> 00:23:16,163
Has anyone told you
you're not safe to be out, Madeline?
367
00:23:16,263 --> 00:23:19,463
At 66-1 , Romeo Lad. 66-1 .
368
00:23:21,863 --> 00:23:25,463
No danger of Comrade Little
helping here, l suppose.
369
00:23:25,563 --> 00:23:29,263
- Do give it a rest, Charlie Butt.
- Comrades, comrades,
370
00:23:30,463 --> 00:23:33,563
l hope nobody else
is holding a rally here today.
371
00:23:33,663 --> 00:23:35,563
(Bugle)
372
00:23:54,463 --> 00:23:56,963
Right, l'm just off to put the money on.
373
00:23:57,063 --> 00:23:59,463
Keep your fingers crossed, darling.
374
00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:02,863
lf Ocean Breeze wins,
it's wedding bells for us.
375
00:24:08,963 --> 00:24:10,863
6-4. Come on, gentlemen, 6-4.
376
00:24:14,363 --> 00:24:16,763
50 on Ocean Breeze to win.
377
00:24:23,263 --> 00:24:25,863
l'm deeply troubled
by that letter this morning.
378
00:24:25,963 --> 00:24:29,863
- Oh, just some crank, Morty.
- l should never forgive myself...
379
00:24:30,663 --> 00:24:31,863
lt's him!
380
00:24:31,963 --> 00:24:33,963
- Who?
- The man with the beard.
381
00:24:41,763 --> 00:24:45,063
Ah, have we all got our sixpences
on Ocean Breeze?
382
00:24:45,163 --> 00:24:49,563
As far as l can see, the race is a formality,
a ceremony that has to be gone through
383
00:24:49,663 --> 00:24:53,463
before we saunter over
with a wheelbarrow to get our winnings.
384
00:24:53,563 --> 00:24:56,663
When l win,
l'm going to take a holiday in Tahiti.
385
00:24:56,763 --> 00:24:59,363
- What about you, Madeline, dear?
- No.
386
00:24:59,463 --> 00:25:03,463
- l put five shillings on Romeo Lad.
- At 66-1 .
387
00:25:03,563 --> 00:25:05,463
lt had a sweet little face.
388
00:25:05,563 --> 00:25:08,163
Yes, and as l looked at him,
389
00:25:08,263 --> 00:25:12,163
l thought l heard a little fairy voice
say his name over and over.
390
00:25:12,263 --> 00:25:16,663
(Commentator) ..Goodwood Cup.
We hope it's going to be an exciting race.
391
00:25:16,663 --> 00:25:21,163
They're coming up to the line.
They're under starter's orders.
392
00:25:22,763 --> 00:25:24,763
(Woman) Can you see?
393
00:25:24,863 --> 00:25:26,763
And they're off!
394
00:25:26,863 --> 00:25:30,663
..is in the lead, followed by
Happy Dancer and Red Admiral.
395
00:25:30,763 --> 00:25:33,563
Ocean Breeze seems to be left
at the start.
396
00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:43,663
Poor old Ocean Breeze seems
to be making a little ground now.
397
00:25:43,763 --> 00:25:46,963
Happy Dancer, Red Admiral
followed by Tickaflor.
398
00:25:47,063 --> 00:25:49,663
And Romeo Lad
really looking the business.
399
00:25:49,763 --> 00:25:53,563
Coming up fast on Happy Dancer.
Red Admiral still hanging on
400
00:25:53,663 --> 00:25:57,163
and Ocean Breeze trying desperately
to get into the race.
401
00:25:57,263 --> 00:26:01,963
As they come to the final furlong,
it's still Happy Dancer, but he's tiring.
402
00:26:02,063 --> 00:26:03,963
Fair Wind goes ahead.
403
00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:07,663
And in the final stretch,
Fair Wind still there,
404
00:26:07,763 --> 00:26:11,463
but Romeo Lad's making
a tremendous run.
405
00:26:11,563 --> 00:26:15,363
And it's Romeo Lad from Fair Wind!
Romeo Lad goes past the post,
406
00:26:15,463 --> 00:26:17,963
followed by Fair Wind, and Red Admiral,
407
00:26:18,063 --> 00:26:20,263
then Silver Fox and Happy Dancer.
408
00:26:20,363 --> 00:26:23,663
And eighth and last,
the favourite, poor old Ocean Breeze.
409
00:26:23,763 --> 00:26:25,663
Good Lord!
410
00:26:29,263 --> 00:26:31,163
Good Lord!
411
00:26:33,263 --> 00:26:35,463
l mean to say, good Lord!
412
00:26:36,163 --> 00:26:37,663
(Madeline) Did l win?
413
00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:41,563
- Yes, dear, you won.
- lsn't life glorious?
414
00:26:48,363 --> 00:26:50,363
(Spode) This is a sad occasion.
415
00:26:51,863 --> 00:26:55,763
Fate has decreed
that l must leave the Saviours of Britain
416
00:26:55,863 --> 00:26:59,563
to take up the reins of the ship of state
in another place.
417
00:26:59,663 --> 00:27:01,663
Oh, shut it!
418
00:27:01,763 --> 00:27:04,563
Other hands
will tread the path before you
419
00:27:04,663 --> 00:27:06,763
that these eyes have mapped out.
420
00:27:06,863 --> 00:27:08,763
How did we get on?
421
00:27:10,263 --> 00:27:12,163
l lost everything.
422
00:27:12,263 --> 00:27:15,163
(Spode) One of the measures
l intend to introduce
423
00:27:15,263 --> 00:27:17,563
into the House of Lords will be a bill
424
00:27:17,663 --> 00:27:22,063
widening the gauge of the British
railway system by eight inches
425
00:27:22,163 --> 00:27:25,463
to facilitate
the transportation of livestock.
426
00:27:25,563 --> 00:27:27,563
The dismal Jimmys will tell you
427
00:27:27,663 --> 00:27:30,863
that we cannot afford to replace
428
00:27:30,963 --> 00:27:34,363
the 27,000 miles of track
necessary for the task.
429
00:27:35,063 --> 00:27:37,963
They have not looked at it scientifically.
430
00:27:38,763 --> 00:27:40,663
lt will be more than paid for
431
00:27:40,763 --> 00:27:44,363
by the fact that sheep
will be able to stand sideways!
432
00:27:44,463 --> 00:27:49,463
- (Men) Hail, Spode!
- Oxford University will be abolished!
433
00:27:49,563 --> 00:27:53,563
- Hail, Spode!
- We must have progress!
434
00:27:53,663 --> 00:27:55,663
Hail, Spode! Hail, Spode!
435
00:27:55,763 --> 00:27:58,763
Oh, well, better get on with the meeting,
l suppose.
436
00:27:58,863 --> 00:28:01,463
How can we
with him shouting his head off?
437
00:28:01,463 --> 00:28:04,563
Let Richard start.
He'll soon see off Spode.
438
00:28:04,663 --> 00:28:08,363
These men have told me that the lobe
of the average Englishman
439
00:28:08,463 --> 00:28:12,363
is shorter, more clearly defined
440
00:28:12,463 --> 00:28:15,963
and better adapted to the work
that every lobe has to do
441
00:28:16,063 --> 00:28:19,063
than the lobes of any other race!
442
00:28:19,163 --> 00:28:21,063
Hail, Spode!
443
00:28:21,163 --> 00:28:23,363
Comrades,
444
00:28:23,463 --> 00:28:27,063
we stand here united
against the forces of Wall Street
445
00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:29,563
and the City of London.
446
00:28:29,663 --> 00:28:33,363
ln our march towards a new Britain,
447
00:28:33,463 --> 00:28:37,163
we will be fearless
in the face of the Bolsheviks.
448
00:28:38,863 --> 00:28:41,663
We stand for ownership
by the proletariat
449
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:44,463
of all means of production
and distribution.
450
00:28:44,463 --> 00:28:46,363
(Spode) l do not believe...
451
00:28:47,363 --> 00:28:50,463
You don't suppose there's anything
in this fairy voice thing, Jeeves?
452
00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:53,863
Possibly, sir, but l received
the same information
453
00:28:53,963 --> 00:28:55,863
from a spotty stable lad.
454
00:28:55,963 --> 00:28:58,563
Good Lord, Jeeves! Do you mean...?
455
00:28:58,563 --> 00:29:01,863
Just a small wager, sir,
to make the race interesting.
456
00:29:01,963 --> 00:29:04,263
Good afternoon, Lady Bittlesham.
My Lord.
457
00:29:04,363 --> 00:29:06,363
- How much did you drop?
- Drop?
458
00:29:06,463 --> 00:29:09,263
- On Ocean Breeze.
- l didn't bet on him. l never bet.
459
00:29:09,363 --> 00:29:12,463
- Never bet? You look rattled.
- That bearded fellow's here.
460
00:29:12,563 --> 00:29:15,663
l'm looking for Richard
to get him to apprehend the creature.
461
00:29:15,763 --> 00:29:19,663
We shall rely
on the good old English fist!
462
00:29:19,763 --> 00:29:23,763
Hail, Spode! Hail, Spode! Hail, Spode!
463
00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:28,063
- Hail, Spode!
- Go on, Richard, tell them!
464
00:29:32,763 --> 00:29:37,463
l tell you, comrades,
we have here today at Goodwood
465
00:29:37,563 --> 00:29:42,463
a perfect example
of another unholy alliance.
466
00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:44,463
l mean the unholy alliance
467
00:29:44,563 --> 00:29:48,563
between the plutocratic racehorse
owners and the bookies,
468
00:29:48,663 --> 00:29:51,963
another alliance
against the British working man!
469
00:29:52,063 --> 00:29:55,363
- (Cheering)
- The capitalistic owner
470
00:29:55,463 --> 00:29:59,663
together with his chums, the bookie
and the newspaper magnate
471
00:29:59,763 --> 00:30:04,363
would have the honest working man
believe that his horse is the real goods,
472
00:30:04,463 --> 00:30:09,363
when the reality is that it couldn't even
trot the length of the stable yard
473
00:30:09,463 --> 00:30:12,763
without crossing its bally legs
and sitting down for a rest!
474
00:30:12,863 --> 00:30:14,863
(Laughter)
475
00:30:14,963 --> 00:30:18,763
My friends, my friends...
476
00:30:18,863 --> 00:30:21,763
the Bolsheviks might appeal
to your lower instincts
477
00:30:21,863 --> 00:30:23,863
of greed and envy...
478
00:30:23,963 --> 00:30:28,663
We've all lost hard-earned money today
to the bookies on Ocean Breeze.
479
00:30:28,763 --> 00:30:30,363
(Woman) Yeah.
480
00:30:30,463 --> 00:30:33,463
But what does Lord Bittlesham care?
There he is, comrades.
481
00:30:33,563 --> 00:30:38,663
l tell you, this country won't be a fit place
for honest men to live in
482
00:30:38,763 --> 00:30:41,463
till the blood of Lord Bittlesham
and his kind
483
00:30:41,563 --> 00:30:44,763
runs in rivers
down the gutters of Park Lane!
484
00:30:47,163 --> 00:30:53,863
l know Comrade Little won't mind
me intervening, comrades, to tell you
485
00:30:53,963 --> 00:30:59,863
that our own movement
is also being infiltrated by our enemies.
486
00:30:59,963 --> 00:31:02,563
Even in our own little band,
487
00:31:02,663 --> 00:31:08,663
we have the nephew
of the very same Lord Bittlesham,
488
00:31:08,763 --> 00:31:11,663
whose name you were hooting
a moment ago!
489
00:31:12,963 --> 00:31:14,863
(Gasping) Richard!
490
00:31:16,563 --> 00:31:18,863
Lord Bittlesham's nephew?
491
00:31:40,363 --> 00:31:42,463
You! Get off!
492
00:31:42,563 --> 00:31:48,263
My friends, is this not typical
of the Bolshevik behaviour?
493
00:31:49,563 --> 00:31:52,863
Go on! Go on! Hit him!
494
00:31:53,563 --> 00:31:55,263
Here, my lord.
495
00:31:57,963 --> 00:32:00,163
You swine!
496
00:32:11,463 --> 00:32:14,963
Go on, get him! Get him!
497
00:32:15,063 --> 00:32:18,963
Coming through, gentlemen.
Coming through, gentlemen, please.
498
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:22,363
- Excuse me.
- Oh! You horrible beasts!
499
00:32:23,463 --> 00:32:25,563
Stop shilly-shallying, man! Get him!
500
00:32:27,263 --> 00:32:29,463
Ha-ha! That's right! Well done!
501
00:32:32,563 --> 00:32:36,763
- l'd drink too if l owned a horse like that.
- No, he's been in a...
502
00:32:36,863 --> 00:32:41,863
Bertie, when we get back to the house,
l must talk to you about The Painting.
503
00:32:41,963 --> 00:32:43,963
The painting?
504
00:32:46,863 --> 00:32:49,463
You! Get off him! And you!
505
00:32:51,963 --> 00:32:53,963
(Screaming)
506
00:33:01,563 --> 00:33:04,763
(Madeline)
The Garden, by Madeline Bassett.
507
00:33:06,163 --> 00:33:11,063
''ln the garden of my heart,
The blossoms o'erhang the leaves,
508
00:33:11,163 --> 00:33:17,563
''The skylark sings from morn till night
High in the sleepy jacaranda tree.
509
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:23,763
''But the garden of my heart
ls watered only by my tears
510
00:33:23,863 --> 00:33:28,063
''Under the wise, old, gnarled oak
lnter me when my time appears...''
511
00:33:28,163 --> 00:33:30,163
(Snoring)
512
00:33:31,163 --> 00:33:35,863
''And on the mossy stone above,
Carve these words without lament
513
00:33:36,963 --> 00:33:41,863
''She lived, she loved,
She breathed her last
514
00:33:41,963 --> 00:33:45,863
- ''Here lies one who rests in peace.''
- Now, look here, Spode...
515
00:33:45,963 --> 00:33:50,863
Even if you cannot remain awake,
you could at least refrain from snoring.
516
00:33:50,963 --> 00:33:54,463
- Well, yes, but...
- You're a philistine, Wooster.
517
00:33:56,763 --> 00:33:57,463
Ow...
518
00:34:01,463 --> 00:34:03,463
Jeeves?
519
00:34:03,563 --> 00:34:05,463
Oh, blast it.
520
00:34:07,463 --> 00:34:09,963
- Oh, there you are, Jeeves.
- l'm sorry, sir.
521
00:34:10,063 --> 00:34:12,563
- l had to go down to the larder.
- What's that?
522
00:34:12,663 --> 00:34:16,463
- Brown paper, sir, and treacle.
- Do you know what puzzles me, Jeeves?
523
00:34:16,563 --> 00:34:18,963
- No, sir.
- How did Comrade Butt know
524
00:34:19,063 --> 00:34:21,863
that Bingo
was old Bittlesham's nephew?
525
00:34:21,963 --> 00:34:27,063
l fear l may have disclosed Mr Little's
identity to Butt in the public house, sir.
526
00:34:27,063 --> 00:34:30,663
Thus scuppering Bingo's romance
with Charlotte Rowbotham.
527
00:34:30,763 --> 00:34:32,263
l fear so, sir.
528
00:34:32,363 --> 00:34:36,763
l understand Miss Rowbotham now
looks on Mr Little as a traitor.
529
00:34:36,863 --> 00:34:38,763
Poor old Bingo. Y...
530
00:34:40,663 --> 00:34:42,663
- Treacle, Jeeves?
- Yes, sir.
531
00:34:42,763 --> 00:34:47,163
The approved method
is to cut a small square of brown paper
532
00:34:47,263 --> 00:34:50,663
equivalent to the pane of glass,
smear it in treacle and then...
533
00:34:50,763 --> 00:34:55,263
- What on earth are you talking about?
- The way to break a window silently.
534
00:34:55,363 --> 00:34:59,963
Who wants to break a window silently?
Or noisily, if it comes to that?
535
00:35:00,063 --> 00:35:03,763
Mrs Travers gave me to understand
that you intended to steal a painting.
536
00:35:03,863 --> 00:35:06,863
Oh, well, let me give you
to understand this, Jeeves.
537
00:35:06,963 --> 00:35:11,563
l have no intention of stealing
any painting with or without treacle.
538
00:35:11,663 --> 00:35:16,963
Very good, sir.
Mrs Travers will be...disappointed, sir.
539
00:35:17,063 --> 00:35:19,463
- Oh, will she? Well...
- (Knocking)
540
00:35:25,763 --> 00:35:27,763
- Are you ready?
- No, l am not, Aunt Dahlia.
541
00:35:27,863 --> 00:35:30,563
l am taking no part
in your harebrained scheme.
542
00:35:30,663 --> 00:35:33,263
l don't know why you're looking
like a stuck pig.
543
00:35:33,363 --> 00:35:36,863
You're always pinching
policemen's helmets and things.
544
00:35:36,963 --> 00:35:40,663
Not always. Only as an occasional treat.
545
00:35:40,663 --> 00:35:43,663
Anyway, pinching a painting
is much easier.
546
00:35:43,763 --> 00:35:47,563
- Just cut it out of the frame with a knife.
- l haven't got a knife.
547
00:35:47,663 --> 00:35:50,163
- Yes, you have.
- Oh, now look here...
548
00:39:42,363 --> 00:39:42,763
Ah!
549
00:39:44,363 --> 00:39:45,963
Yes, well...
550
00:39:46,063 --> 00:39:47,863
Well, l was er...
551
00:39:51,263 --> 00:39:53,163
Why don't l just pour you a...?
552
00:39:57,863 --> 00:39:59,763
You all right?
553
00:40:12,863 --> 00:40:16,763
- Who on earth is that?
- lt's Mr Fothergill senior, Aunt Dahlia.
554
00:40:16,863 --> 00:40:18,863
Don't tell me you've messed up.
555
00:40:18,963 --> 00:40:22,363
lf l might put him down
before l submit to your interrogation...?
556
00:40:22,463 --> 00:40:24,963
- What does he want?
- l think he wanted to ask,
557
00:40:25,063 --> 00:40:28,863
not unreasonably, why l was in his
dining room at one in the morning
558
00:40:28,963 --> 00:40:31,663
- covered in treacle.
- But you didn't tell him?
559
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:35,863
No, Aunt Dahlia, l didn't tell him
l was hellbent on stealing his painting
560
00:40:35,963 --> 00:40:39,563
in order that his son might be cured
of chronic dyspepsia
561
00:40:39,663 --> 00:40:42,463
so that his daughter-in-law
would allow my aunt
562
00:40:42,563 --> 00:40:46,563
to publish said daughter-in-law's
latest novel in her magazine for ladies.
563
00:40:46,663 --> 00:40:49,563
For one thing,
l didn't think he'd believe me,
564
00:40:49,663 --> 00:40:52,163
and for another thing,
he'd already fainted.
565
00:40:52,263 --> 00:40:56,763
He's messed it up again, Jeeves.
He's as bad at this as he is at racing tips.
566
00:40:56,863 --> 00:41:01,563
- Well, of all the dashed nerve!
- You don't know what this means to me!
567
00:41:01,663 --> 00:41:04,363
Well, you don't know
what it means to me.
568
00:41:04,463 --> 00:41:08,163
Call me old-fashioned, but l hate bars
on the window and tin plates.
569
00:41:08,263 --> 00:41:10,763
You go and get that painting,
Bertie Wooster!
570
00:41:10,863 --> 00:41:16,263
lf you think l'll get involved with treacle
again, you've got another think coming.
571
00:41:16,363 --> 00:41:19,963
All right, Bertie,
you don't have to use the treacle.
572
00:41:20,063 --> 00:41:23,363
- Does he, Jeeves?
- lt would lend verisimilitude.
573
00:41:23,463 --> 00:41:26,363
He doesn't have to use the treacle,
Jeeves.
574
00:41:26,463 --> 00:41:29,463
He doesn't have to do
anything he doesn't want to.
575
00:41:32,363 --> 00:41:34,363
(Sighing)
576
00:42:19,663 --> 00:42:23,563
You got it! He's out cold.
Give me the scissors.
577
00:42:23,663 --> 00:42:26,063
(Aunt Dahlia) You hold, l'll cut.
578
00:42:26,163 --> 00:42:28,963
- Right. Where's Jeeves?
- l sent him for whisky.
579
00:42:30,063 --> 00:42:32,063
Ah, what ho, Jeeves! l did it.
580
00:42:32,163 --> 00:42:35,763
Yes, sir.
With soda for you, Mrs Travers?
581
00:42:35,863 --> 00:42:39,163
- Just a splash, Jeeves.
- Same for me, Jeeves.
582
00:42:39,163 --> 00:42:41,963
Should l pour some
for Mr Fothergill, sir?
583
00:42:42,063 --> 00:42:45,163
lt might revive him
if l were to rub a little onto his lips.
584
00:42:45,263 --> 00:42:48,163
We don't want him revived just yet,
Jeeves.
585
00:42:52,363 --> 00:42:55,463
l say, this oil paint burns nicely,
doesn't it?
586
00:42:55,563 --> 00:42:59,263
Oh, how this brings back memories
of the dear old school
587
00:42:59,363 --> 00:43:01,963
and our girlish cocoa parties.
588
00:43:02,063 --> 00:43:04,663
Happy days. Happy days. Cheers.
589
00:43:07,163 --> 00:43:08,263
Ahem.
590
00:43:08,363 --> 00:43:10,363
Excuse me, madam.
591
00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:13,163
Did you say Mr Fothergill Senior's name
was Edward?
592
00:43:13,263 --> 00:43:16,463
Edward. Yes. You may think of him
as Eddie if you wish. Why?
593
00:43:16,563 --> 00:43:21,263
lt is merely that the painting we have
seems to be signed Everard, madam.
594
00:43:21,363 --> 00:43:24,063
l thought l should mention it.
595
00:43:27,263 --> 00:43:29,663
Looks like Edward to me.
596
00:43:29,763 --> 00:43:31,763
lt's Everard.
597
00:43:31,863 --> 00:43:34,563
- lt's Edward.
- Everard!
598
00:43:34,663 --> 00:43:36,663
Bertie, you curse of the civilised world,
599
00:43:36,763 --> 00:43:39,563
if you've burnt the wrong picture,
Cornelia will kill me!
600
00:43:39,663 --> 00:43:42,563
What do you mean?
Why is it always me? lt's always me!
601
00:43:42,663 --> 00:43:46,063
All right, if you don't believe me,
we'll go down and have a look.
602
00:44:06,263 --> 00:44:08,663
But... They've both gone!
603
00:44:09,763 --> 00:44:13,563
- We can see that, you idiot.
- Someone's taken the other picture.
604
00:44:13,663 --> 00:44:18,663
lf you'll pardon me for saying so, sir,
l think l may know who that person is.
605
00:44:29,263 --> 00:44:31,563
(Aunt Dahlia) Hand it over, Sidcup.
606
00:44:31,663 --> 00:44:34,763
What?
How dare you burst into my room?
607
00:44:34,863 --> 00:44:38,663
- The painting.
- l don't know what you're talking about.
608
00:44:38,763 --> 00:44:41,463
- Why should l take Fothergill's painting?
- Ah-ha!
609
00:44:41,563 --> 00:44:44,963
- What?
- You said, ''Fothergill's painting.''
610
00:44:45,063 --> 00:44:47,063
Oh, well...l...
611
00:44:47,163 --> 00:44:49,063
l was just going to borrow it.
612
00:44:49,163 --> 00:44:51,063
Ah, yes. This is it all right.
613
00:44:51,163 --> 00:44:54,763
Stout females unclothed, one,
in conference with doves, one.
614
00:44:54,863 --> 00:44:56,863
- How dare you?
- Hold on a minute...
615
00:44:56,963 --> 00:45:01,163
- Why should Spode steal the painting?
- Yes, why did you?
616
00:45:01,263 --> 00:45:03,163
But l didn't, and l wouldn't!
617
00:45:03,263 --> 00:45:05,463
l...l... lt was nice.
618
00:45:06,563 --> 00:45:11,963
lt would seem wiser, Lord Sidcup,
to reveal the background to the picture.
619
00:45:12,063 --> 00:45:16,463
But l don't want to! Why should l?
You'll only tell everyone! Ooh!
620
00:45:17,863 --> 00:45:19,763
lt's my mother.
621
00:45:19,863 --> 00:45:22,363
- What is?
- Are you trying to be funny?
622
00:45:23,463 --> 00:45:25,663
That is the woman in the painting.
623
00:45:25,763 --> 00:45:30,863
Lord Sidcup's mother was, for a time,
Mr Edward Fothergill's model, sir.
624
00:45:30,963 --> 00:45:34,163
- Good Lord!
- How could l sit in the House of Lords
625
00:45:34,263 --> 00:45:37,463
- with that hanging over me?
- Well, hanging over the sideboard.
626
00:45:37,563 --> 00:45:39,963
Well, Spode,
you've caused us a lot of bother,
627
00:45:40,063 --> 00:45:43,663
but you wanted the Venus expunged,
Cornelia wanted the Venus expunged
628
00:45:43,763 --> 00:45:47,263
- and it shall be expunged. Voila!
- And when she finds
629
00:45:47,363 --> 00:45:49,463
that due to your fatheadedness,
630
00:45:49,563 --> 00:45:53,863
Everard's valuable painting
has also been expunged...?
631
00:45:54,963 --> 00:45:59,363
- Ah, yes, well, there is that...
- lf l might make a suggestion, madam...
632
00:45:59,463 --> 00:46:02,563
- Yes, Jeeves?
- lf the window were broken
633
00:46:02,663 --> 00:46:06,863
and both pictures removed,
Mrs Fothergill could be persuaded
634
00:46:06,863 --> 00:46:09,763
that miscreants
had made a burglarious entry
635
00:46:09,863 --> 00:46:13,463
and that Mr Wooster had attempted
to protect her property.
636
00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:17,463
- She would, one feels, be grateful.
- l see what you mean, Jeeves.
637
00:46:17,563 --> 00:46:21,163
Hold on. Why should Mrs Fothergill think
anything of the sort?
638
00:46:21,263 --> 00:46:25,663
The details of the plan demand
that you be discovered
639
00:46:25,763 --> 00:46:28,763
lying stunned
on the floor of the dining room.
640
00:46:28,863 --> 00:46:34,163
(Laughing) Ah, well, far be it for me to be
a wet blanket, Jeeves, but there is a flaw.
641
00:46:34,263 --> 00:46:39,063
l am not now, nor ever intend to be lying
on the floor of the dining room stunned.
642
00:46:39,163 --> 00:46:41,763
- You mean you won't play ball?
- l do...
643
00:46:44,363 --> 00:46:46,263
Ba-doing!
644
00:46:56,263 --> 00:46:58,263
Here. Put him here.
645
00:47:03,763 --> 00:47:07,663
- Right, Jeeves, take this and get rid of it.
- Very good, Madam.
646
00:47:07,763 --> 00:47:11,363
- Oh, break the window first.
- Let me do it! Let me do it!
647
00:47:24,263 --> 00:47:25,963
(Groaning)
648
00:47:28,063 --> 00:47:31,063
Ah...what a headache... (Mumbling)
649
00:47:34,163 --> 00:47:36,963
Very nice, Roderick.
You'd better get to bed now.
650
00:47:37,863 --> 00:47:39,863
Oh. All right.
651
00:47:42,263 --> 00:47:45,763
Help! Burglars! Help!
652
00:47:48,163 --> 00:47:50,163
Where am l?
653
00:47:50,263 --> 00:47:53,763
Mr Wooster's room, sir.
You were taken ill.
654
00:47:53,863 --> 00:47:55,963
That's right, in the dining room.
655
00:47:56,063 --> 00:47:58,963
He ah... What's that?
656
00:47:59,063 --> 00:48:01,363
A painting, sir.
657
00:48:01,463 --> 00:48:04,163
Painting? What painting?
658
00:48:08,863 --> 00:48:11,463
What are you doing with that?
659
00:48:11,563 --> 00:48:13,063
Er...
660
00:48:13,163 --> 00:48:17,863
A gang of international art thieves
attempted to make off with it, sir.
661
00:48:17,963 --> 00:48:21,063
Mr Wooster gallantly intervened
to save it.
662
00:48:21,163 --> 00:48:24,763
What a damn fool! l hate that picture!
663
00:48:24,863 --> 00:48:27,763
lt's the worst thing l've ever done.
664
00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:30,963
Oh, throw it on the fire for God's sake.
665
00:48:33,863 --> 00:48:36,563
(Cornelia) l fear
l may have misjudged you.
666
00:48:36,663 --> 00:48:40,263
You've been positively intrepid,
Mr Wooster.
667
00:48:40,363 --> 00:48:43,063
Bertie has always been so brave.
668
00:48:43,163 --> 00:48:45,663
- (Squelching)
- l'll call the police.
669
00:48:48,063 --> 00:48:50,963
Damn shame
about Dad's painting, though.
670
00:49:00,063 --> 00:49:04,363
So, if Everard and Cornelia hadn't kept
saying how wonderful the painting was,
671
00:49:04,463 --> 00:49:07,663
- it could have been cleared up in a trice?
- Precisely, sir.
672
00:49:07,763 --> 00:49:09,963
lt's often the way with families,
673
00:49:10,063 --> 00:49:14,163
but it enables Mrs Travers to purchase
Mrs Fothergill's novel for her magazine.
674
00:49:14,263 --> 00:49:16,663
l don't think you're thinking
of the readers.
675
00:49:16,763 --> 00:49:19,463
- You have to take the wider view.
- Very good, sir.
676
00:49:19,563 --> 00:49:23,163
lf you ask me, art is responsible
for most of the trouble in the world.
677
00:49:23,263 --> 00:49:26,763
An interesting theory, sir.
Would you care to expatiate upon it?
678
00:49:28,263 --> 00:49:30,163
As a matter of fact, no, Jeeves.
679
00:49:30,263 --> 00:49:32,763
The thought just occurred to me,
as thoughts do.
680
00:49:32,863 --> 00:49:34,863
Very good, sir.
681
00:49:34,913 --> 00:49:39,463
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