All language subtitles for Youre the Worst s03e12 You Knew It Was a Snake.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,810 --> 00:00:03,576 2 00:00:07,348 --> 00:00:09,332 "As Malcolm bent the 17-year-old Sally 3 00:00:09,401 --> 00:00:12,502 over the lip of his tanker desk, he thought back to her baptism." 4 00:00:12,571 --> 00:00:13,703 What the shit?! 5 00:00:13,772 --> 00:00:15,505 "That summer day in '73, every car radio 6 00:00:15,674 --> 00:00:17,440 "blaring 'Search and Destroy,' 7 00:00:17,509 --> 00:00:19,342 "a warm rain lashing down 8 00:00:19,411 --> 00:00:22,612 like sweat flinging off a groupie's bouncing tits." 9 00:00:22,681 --> 00:00:25,949 It's like being molested by an audio book. What is this? 10 00:00:26,017 --> 00:00:27,951 "The Width of a Peach." My masterpiece 11 00:00:28,019 --> 00:00:30,186 of multi-generational sexploitative literature. 12 00:00:30,255 --> 00:00:31,421 Why the hell 13 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:33,289 would you read me literature? 14 00:00:33,358 --> 00:00:35,225 You know I don't like good things. 15 00:00:35,293 --> 00:00:37,961 Last night, you said that I would never be successful. 16 00:00:38,029 --> 00:00:39,996 Well, I stayed up all night 17 00:00:40,065 --> 00:00:44,200 and wrote 35 amazing pages just to spite you. 18 00:00:44,269 --> 00:00:47,470 So, ha! Consider yourself thoroughly spited. 19 00:00:47,539 --> 00:00:48,571 Ha! 20 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,006 Cool. 21 00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:52,375 Okay, I take back the thing I said. 22 00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:54,110 You will be successful. 23 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,478 Thank you! 24 00:00:55,547 --> 00:00:57,981 (laptop clatters) 25 00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,916 Now it's your turn. 26 00:00:59,984 --> 00:01:02,218 I'm proud of me, too. 27 00:01:02,287 --> 00:01:04,353 No, Jimmy! It's your turn to take back 28 00:01:04,422 --> 00:01:05,955 the mega-harsh thing you said to me. 29 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,191 And then, voila, everything goes back to Normal Town, 30 00:01:08,259 --> 00:01:10,693 et cetera, et cetera... a little makeup boneage. 31 00:01:10,762 --> 00:01:12,462 Maybe some titty massages for Jimmy. 32 00:01:14,099 --> 00:01:15,965 Wait, what exactly am I meant to take back? 33 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,000 (imitates Jimmy): "I can't see myself having kids with her." 34 00:01:18,069 --> 00:01:19,102 Oh, that. 35 00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:21,304 No, I'm 100% sticking by that. 36 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,473 Hey, can we do this titty massage on the patio? 37 00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,741 I just want to keep an eye on the hummingbird feeder. 38 00:01:25,841 --> 00:01:27,110 - Jimmy! - You have dropped 39 00:01:27,178 --> 00:01:29,979 eight iPhones in the last year, 40 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,482 one into a vat of ranch at Souplantation. 41 00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:33,783 Child-rearing 42 00:01:33,852 --> 00:01:35,351 requires skill. 43 00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:36,986 It's not the same as binge-watching 44 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:43,426 a season of Exemplify. 45 00:01:43,495 --> 00:01:45,628 You a Gamergater? Am I living with a Gamergater? 46 00:01:45,697 --> 00:01:48,397 LINDSAY: Quiet, already! 47 00:01:48,466 --> 00:01:49,799 Why is Lindsay here? 48 00:01:49,868 --> 00:01:51,868 She dumped Paul hard. I said she could crash. 49 00:01:51,936 --> 00:01:53,736 Mmm... 50 00:01:53,805 --> 00:01:56,472 - Oh, my... - (Jimmy sighs) 51 00:01:56,541 --> 00:01:58,775 (sighs): Ah... 52 00:02:00,011 --> 00:02:01,577 What? 53 00:02:01,646 --> 00:02:03,346 I'm supposed to wear pajamas like an old? 54 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:07,150 Mmm... 55 00:02:07,218 --> 00:02:09,852 56 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,991 I'm gonna leave you anyway 57 00:02:15,059 --> 00:02:17,660 I'm gonna leave you anyway 58 00:02:17,729 --> 00:02:20,097 Gonna leave you anyway. 59 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:24,098 - synced and corrected by DaddyBear - - www.addic7ed.com - 60 00:02:25,837 --> 00:02:27,804 Wakey-wakey. 61 00:02:27,872 --> 00:02:29,605 I just wrapped up an early-morning shift 62 00:02:29,674 --> 00:02:31,741 cleaning a frat house after a "Colonial Bros 63 00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:33,342 and Nava-hos" party. 64 00:02:33,411 --> 00:02:34,744 Got the puke cleaned up, 65 00:02:34,813 --> 00:02:36,212 but the racism and cultural appropriation 66 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,347 are gonna leave a stain. Hey, I brought pastries. 67 00:02:38,416 --> 00:02:41,884 Okay, but do you want to talk about last night? 68 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,686 Oh, my God. I was so drunk. 69 00:02:43,755 --> 00:02:45,855 I think I might have hit up a Del Taco drive-through. 70 00:02:45,924 --> 00:02:48,891 I'm missing my side mirror, and my fingers smell like hot sauce. 71 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,793 - Wait. You drove yourself home? - Sure. 72 00:02:50,862 --> 00:02:52,361 Drunk driving is easy. 73 00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:53,529 It's just like playing a video game. 74 00:02:53,598 --> 00:02:56,132 You totally freaked out on me last night. 75 00:02:56,201 --> 00:02:58,201 Well, you took me to a wedding, and then you ditched me 76 00:02:58,269 --> 00:02:59,702 to work on sketch ideas. 77 00:02:59,771 --> 00:03:01,170 Who are you, Will Sasso? 78 00:03:01,239 --> 00:03:02,905 This is my first writing job. 79 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,640 I didn't know anybody, and you abandoned me. 80 00:03:04,709 --> 00:03:07,643 Yeah. Well, okay, I can see how that... 81 00:03:07,712 --> 00:03:12,281 oh, was really sucky of me. 82 00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:14,851 It was. Thank you. 83 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:24,460 You know, I'm happy for you. 84 00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:26,329 I mean, shit, I'm a liberal. 85 00:03:26,397 --> 00:03:27,830 God knows I should applaud 86 00:03:27,899 --> 00:03:30,533 when an underrepresented voice gets heard. 87 00:03:30,602 --> 00:03:32,869 You mean veterans? 88 00:03:34,439 --> 00:03:36,272 Yeah. That, too. 89 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,874 Hey, you want a pastry? 90 00:03:37,942 --> 00:03:40,476 I-I just want to make sure that you aren't implying 91 00:03:40,545 --> 00:03:43,312 that I was hired just I'm Latino. 92 00:03:43,381 --> 00:03:46,115 What? Of course not. I don't even see race. 93 00:03:51,556 --> 00:03:52,922 Hey, when did they put this awesome eagle 94 00:03:52,991 --> 00:03:54,557 on the Italian flag? 95 00:03:55,793 --> 00:03:57,560 96 00:04:02,901 --> 00:04:04,800 (knock on door) 97 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:08,738 (knock on door) 98 00:04:13,077 --> 00:04:13,910 Paul? 99 00:04:15,313 --> 00:04:18,381 What you did was unspeakable! 100 00:04:18,449 --> 00:04:20,650 Unconscionable! 101 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,519 - Indefensible! - Indedibble-dobble! 102 00:04:23,588 --> 00:04:25,354 How could you abort that baby without telling me? 103 00:04:25,423 --> 00:04:27,924 It wasn't a baby, Paul. It was just a bunch of cells. 104 00:04:27,992 --> 00:04:29,358 You destroyed our family! 105 00:04:29,427 --> 00:04:31,527 Name one family that's just a bunch of cells. 106 00:04:31,596 --> 00:04:33,162 Osmosis Jones. 107 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,398 Why does everyone keep doing that? 108 00:04:35,466 --> 00:04:37,366 What made you think you had the right 109 00:04:37,435 --> 00:04:39,068 to make that decision for us? 110 00:04:39,137 --> 00:04:40,703 My body, my choice. 111 00:04:40,772 --> 00:04:43,105 It's not that cut-and-dried when you're married. 112 00:04:43,174 --> 00:04:44,407 My body, my choice. 113 00:04:44,475 --> 00:04:45,808 There's a difference between 114 00:04:45,877 --> 00:04:47,209 claiming your reproductive rights 115 00:04:47,278 --> 00:04:48,711 and behaving like a complete... 116 00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:50,813 - My body, my choice. - Stop saying that! 117 00:04:50,882 --> 00:04:52,181 No, Paul. You stop. 118 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,449 Me and my sisters, 119 00:04:53,518 --> 00:04:55,051 we fought for this right for millenniums. 120 00:04:55,119 --> 00:04:57,119 This is why Margaret Thatcher went to prison. 121 00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,555 Can you please put on some clothes 122 00:04:59,624 --> 00:05:00,656 while we have this conversation? 123 00:05:00,725 --> 00:05:02,358 No, Paul. My body, my choice. 124 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,060 And now, 125 00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:08,197 I choose to go outside and smoke. 126 00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:11,867 Because it's my body. 127 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,106 My choice. 128 00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:18,741 That's right, sucka. 129 00:05:22,547 --> 00:05:23,746 (door closes) 130 00:05:34,288 --> 00:05:36,088 Look, I admit it is a good thing, okay, yes. 131 00:05:36,157 --> 00:05:38,057 Sometimes minorities get jobs over white people, 132 00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:40,192 even when they're both equally qualified, 133 00:05:40,261 --> 00:05:42,261 or maybe the minority is slightly less qualified. 134 00:05:42,829 --> 00:05:44,629 But I think that that is good for the world, 135 00:05:44,698 --> 00:05:47,432 and I simply got you these cool and funky pastries 136 00:05:47,501 --> 00:05:49,100 'cause they're cool and funky, 137 00:05:49,169 --> 00:05:51,970 not because they're Latino, or whatever. 138 00:05:52,039 --> 00:05:53,638 Here, try one. They're "pan dulthes." 139 00:05:53,707 --> 00:05:56,207 (snickers) Wait. What are you saying? 140 00:05:56,276 --> 00:05:57,809 "Pan dulthes." 141 00:05:57,878 --> 00:05:59,544 Edgar, they're "pan dulthes." 142 00:06:00,914 --> 00:06:02,314 I pronounce everything with a Castilian "S," 143 00:06:02,382 --> 00:06:04,149 because I studied abroad in "Barthelona." 144 00:06:04,217 --> 00:06:06,818 For you to say that I have the advantage is insulting. 145 00:06:08,188 --> 00:06:11,123 I mean, if anyone has the advantage, it's you. 146 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,793 - How do I have the advantage? - (chuckles) 147 00:06:14,862 --> 00:06:16,962 You're a white girl. 148 00:06:17,031 --> 00:06:19,231 There's literally a part for you in every script 149 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,166 that's ever been written. 150 00:06:21,235 --> 00:06:22,834 Not Glengarry Glen Ross or 700 Sundays. 151 00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:25,170 Besides, don't you read? 152 00:06:25,239 --> 00:06:26,605 People just, like, they hate women now. 153 00:06:26,674 --> 00:06:28,240 You don't even have to hide it anymore. 154 00:06:28,309 --> 00:06:29,708 Yeah, well, you never read, 155 00:06:29,777 --> 00:06:31,777 "Cut to funny brown guy with perfect features." 156 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,047 - You have the advantage. - Yeah. 157 00:06:35,115 --> 00:06:36,281 Because it's such an advantage to be 158 00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:37,582 constantly sexually harassed. 159 00:06:37,651 --> 00:06:39,484 And it's so advantageous to only be cast 160 00:06:39,553 --> 00:06:41,753 as "Pretty Girl Number 3" or "Overworked Mom." 161 00:06:41,822 --> 00:06:43,689 I thought you didn't book "Overworked Mom." 162 00:06:43,757 --> 00:06:46,391 And it's such an advantage to be slut-shamed for six years 163 00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:48,727 because I accidentally sucked Brian Dunkleman's dick 164 00:06:48,796 --> 00:06:50,462 'cause I thought he was Chris Hardwick. 165 00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:52,230 Look, can we at least agree that 166 00:06:52,299 --> 00:06:53,999 the true enemy here is the white male? 167 00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:55,033 JIMMY: Whoa! 168 00:06:55,102 --> 00:06:57,369 Not me. I'm an immigrant. 169 00:06:57,438 --> 00:06:58,370 Our story 170 00:06:58,439 --> 00:07:00,138 is so tragic. 171 00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:03,342 Do you know how many of us drown every day 172 00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:04,810 trying to get over here? 173 00:07:04,878 --> 00:07:08,146 And the true villain is the white American male. 174 00:07:08,215 --> 00:07:11,717 Bad things happen to white American men, too. 175 00:07:11,785 --> 00:07:13,852 Real bad things. 176 00:07:13,921 --> 00:07:17,255 You know, why don't I let you white people 177 00:07:17,324 --> 00:07:20,058 tell me how bad you all have it. 178 00:07:20,861 --> 00:07:21,960 Jesus! 179 00:07:27,134 --> 00:07:29,101 Oh, look, wife. 180 00:07:29,169 --> 00:07:31,737 I'm about to rip my lung tissue asunder 181 00:07:31,805 --> 00:07:33,338 with the devil's tobacco 182 00:07:33,407 --> 00:07:37,542 because my life has been destroyed by the woman I love! 183 00:07:37,611 --> 00:07:39,745 Your body, your choice. 184 00:07:40,981 --> 00:07:42,481 You know, I almost left you. 185 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,416 When Vernon and I were 186 00:07:44,485 --> 00:07:45,617 lost in the woods, 187 00:07:45,686 --> 00:07:47,552 he wanted to bail and go live in Mexico. 188 00:07:47,621 --> 00:07:49,021 I should have gone 189 00:07:49,089 --> 00:07:50,856 and started my life anew, 190 00:07:50,924 --> 00:07:54,026 like John McAfee, software millionaire! 191 00:07:54,094 --> 00:07:55,727 - Shoulda-woulda-coulda! - JIMMY: Right. 192 00:07:55,796 --> 00:07:58,563 Can you two idiots do this at your place? 193 00:07:58,632 --> 00:08:01,299 No! If you send them home, her wishy-washy ass 194 00:08:01,368 --> 00:08:04,036 will be lured back into that suck-butt marriage by lunch. 195 00:08:04,104 --> 00:08:05,537 Shut up, Gretchen! 196 00:08:05,606 --> 00:08:07,773 - You shut up! - Aw, shit! 197 00:08:07,841 --> 00:08:10,542 Fine. Then just go and fight in my room. Our room. 198 00:08:10,611 --> 00:08:12,544 But don't touch anything, don't sit, 199 00:08:12,613 --> 00:08:14,012 and hands off the bed booze. 200 00:08:14,081 --> 00:08:16,248 (sighs) 201 00:08:18,986 --> 00:08:21,620 202 00:08:31,498 --> 00:08:32,864 What?! 203 00:08:32,933 --> 00:08:35,434 Nothing. I just... 204 00:08:35,502 --> 00:08:38,170 Sometimes I look at you and I think, 205 00:08:38,238 --> 00:08:41,073 "How did this person get in my house?" 206 00:08:41,141 --> 00:08:42,874 It's like I've lost the thread of a novel, 207 00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:44,509 and all of a sudden, there's this 208 00:08:44,578 --> 00:08:46,411 messy short woman 209 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,814 who's clearly important to the story. 210 00:08:48,882 --> 00:08:51,116 So, I'm flipping back, thinking, 211 00:08:51,185 --> 00:08:54,152 "I don't remember that character being introduced." 212 00:08:54,221 --> 00:08:56,755 Tell me about it! Some days it's like I un-blacked out 213 00:08:56,824 --> 00:08:59,858 from a week-long bender, and now I'm in this weird-ass house 214 00:08:59,927 --> 00:09:01,693 with sharp corners. 215 00:09:01,762 --> 00:09:04,830 My mate was supposed to be so different. 216 00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:07,499 Classy, unbruised, 217 00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:09,034 a first-chair violinist 218 00:09:09,103 --> 00:09:11,002 for the Philharmonic. (chuckles) 219 00:09:11,071 --> 00:09:12,737 God, can you imagine it? 220 00:09:12,806 --> 00:09:15,974 Me in the wings of Disney Hall. 221 00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:18,477 And we wave good-bye to the other musicians, 222 00:09:18,545 --> 00:09:20,045 and I joke about 223 00:09:20,114 --> 00:09:21,480 what a drag it must be 224 00:09:21,548 --> 00:09:24,950 for Igor to haul that double bass home. 225 00:09:25,018 --> 00:09:26,885 And then Dudamel does a champagne spit-take 226 00:09:26,954 --> 00:09:29,020 and shakes his head at me like, 227 00:09:29,089 --> 00:09:31,957 (Venezuelan accent): "Oh, Jimmy, you are too much." 228 00:09:32,025 --> 00:09:33,825 - (laughs) - How am I not 229 00:09:33,894 --> 00:09:37,796 arm candy for some international movie star with a giant dong? 230 00:09:37,865 --> 00:09:39,197 - Yeah. - He's part owner of 231 00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:40,832 a cool tech company 232 00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:43,635 and invents apps when he's not dick-punching Peter Sarsgaard 233 00:09:43,704 --> 00:09:45,370 in his latest movie. Sometimes, 234 00:09:45,439 --> 00:09:48,874 we talk about adopting a kid from a third-world country, 235 00:09:48,942 --> 00:09:50,275 but we never do it. 236 00:09:51,378 --> 00:09:53,311 And we live in a legit-ass castle 237 00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:56,181 in Malibu with one of those big modern art pieces 238 00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:58,783 by the guy who does the big dots. 239 00:09:58,852 --> 00:10:00,018 What? Lichtenstein? 240 00:10:00,087 --> 00:10:02,487 - Yeah. A big old Lichtenstein. - Wow. 241 00:10:02,556 --> 00:10:05,991 How very sophomore year art history of you. (chuckles) 242 00:10:06,059 --> 00:10:08,894 You definitely shouldn't decorate your own house. 243 00:10:08,962 --> 00:10:09,895 (laughs, gasps) 244 00:10:16,912 --> 00:10:17,912 (knock on door) Knock, knock. 245 00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:24,018 White lady visiting from the Aryan zone. You still mad? 246 00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:29,390 - You think that I want you to struggle? - Think about it. 247 00:10:29,459 --> 00:10:32,359 When we first met, I was your insecure student. 248 00:10:32,428 --> 00:10:35,129 Then I was your vet boyfriend with PTSD. 249 00:10:35,198 --> 00:10:37,565 Then I was a stoner with no future. 250 00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:40,634 But the second I get a tiny bit of success, 251 00:10:40,703 --> 00:10:42,036 you freak out. 252 00:10:42,105 --> 00:10:46,040 You forced me to engage in acts of sexual deviance. 253 00:10:46,109 --> 00:10:47,775 But you started this! 254 00:10:47,844 --> 00:10:50,912 You threw your bike onto the street, 255 00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:53,548 and said we were new people, and I put on 256 00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:55,750 that whole Napron-wearing, good wifey act, 257 00:10:55,819 --> 00:10:58,019 even though I was dying on the inside. 258 00:10:58,087 --> 00:11:00,688 You went along with it for 20 minutes. 259 00:11:00,757 --> 00:11:02,156 And then you stabbed me! 260 00:11:02,225 --> 00:11:04,325 You want me to hide my bees under a bushel. 261 00:11:04,394 --> 00:11:06,627 You use your niceness to stifle me, 262 00:11:06,696 --> 00:11:08,496 and then you make me feel guilty. 263 00:11:08,565 --> 00:11:09,864 You stabbed me! 264 00:11:09,933 --> 00:11:11,499 We both did things we regret. 265 00:11:11,568 --> 00:11:13,601 Relationships are messy. 266 00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:16,204 You're actually tearing apart my hypothetical fantasy. 267 00:11:16,272 --> 00:11:17,672 Now you want to tell me 268 00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:19,874 what I can and can't imagine? 269 00:11:19,943 --> 00:11:21,843 You admitted that you don't like good things. 270 00:11:21,911 --> 00:11:23,444 I'm just confirming that. 271 00:11:23,513 --> 00:11:25,480 You should seriously shut up 272 00:11:25,548 --> 00:11:27,982 sometimes, Jimmy. Just shut all the way up. 273 00:11:28,051 --> 00:11:31,619 I mean, what if I did make something of myself? Hmm? 274 00:11:31,688 --> 00:11:36,824 If I did rise up there to your level, why? 275 00:11:36,848 --> 00:11:38,460 Why would that be so bad ? 276 00:11:38,461 --> 00:11:42,029 Because I am not up there! 277 00:11:42,098 --> 00:11:43,130 Okay? 278 00:11:43,199 --> 00:11:44,599 I am down! 279 00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:47,435 I am the downest that I have ever been. 280 00:11:47,504 --> 00:11:48,970 You want messy?! 281 00:11:49,038 --> 00:11:51,305 I'll show you messy! 282 00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:54,408 (yells) 283 00:11:54,477 --> 00:11:56,077 Oh, no, Paul! 284 00:11:56,145 --> 00:11:57,478 Now you're going to have bad luck. 285 00:11:57,547 --> 00:12:00,114 I have bad luck! 286 00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:02,049 You're my bad luck! 287 00:12:02,118 --> 00:12:04,685 God! You're so selfish. 288 00:12:04,754 --> 00:12:08,022 There is something seriously wrong with you. 289 00:12:08,091 --> 00:12:10,558 Why did I marry you? 290 00:12:10,627 --> 00:12:11,726 Why?! 291 00:12:11,794 --> 00:12:13,561 (grunts) 292 00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:15,429 - Look, if your fantasy is so fragile... - Picking, pick, pick. 293 00:12:15,498 --> 00:12:17,298 - ... that I'm able to dismantle it... - Pick at everything I say and do. 294 00:12:17,367 --> 00:12:19,200 - ... then maybe it wasn't so great to begin with. - I'm sick of living 295 00:12:19,269 --> 00:12:20,935 underneath your highfalutin surveillance state. 296 00:12:21,004 --> 00:12:22,336 Plus, "hypothetical fantasy" is redundant. 297 00:12:22,405 --> 00:12:23,671 I just silenced the judgy mom voice in my head. 298 00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:25,506 I don't need another one from you. 299 00:12:25,575 --> 00:12:27,408 LINDSAY: Stop using your big voice at me! 300 00:12:27,477 --> 00:12:29,343 DOROTHY: Don't hug me. Just let me be sad! 301 00:12:29,412 --> 00:12:33,281 PAUL: I'll use my big voice at you whenever I want! 302 00:12:33,349 --> 00:12:36,350 I'm only using my big voice with you now! 303 00:12:36,419 --> 00:12:37,985 (Paul continues shouting) 304 00:12:41,024 --> 00:12:42,189 (scoffs) 305 00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:46,861 (sniffles) 306 00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:49,230 (chuckles) 307 00:12:49,299 --> 00:12:51,165 You... Come on. 308 00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:55,036 You had a rough month. 309 00:12:56,773 --> 00:12:58,205 You'll bounce back. 310 00:12:58,274 --> 00:13:00,241 I'm a 30-something failed actress 311 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:04,579 living in a disgusting K-Town studio. 312 00:13:04,647 --> 00:13:07,148 I haven't been to the dentist in years. 313 00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:09,517 My agent told me to gain 20 pounds 314 00:13:09,586 --> 00:13:12,086 so that I could at least audition to be the kooky aunt. 315 00:13:12,155 --> 00:13:13,421 (sobs) 316 00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:17,291 (yells) Oh, God! 317 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,193 (grunting) 318 00:13:22,699 --> 00:13:25,232 Oh, God. You ruined my life! 319 00:13:25,301 --> 00:13:28,235 Why?! Why did you do it?! 320 00:13:28,304 --> 00:13:30,204 - Paul. - (groaning) 321 00:13:30,273 --> 00:13:32,173 Look at me. 322 00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:35,042 - (panting) - Paul. 323 00:13:35,111 --> 00:13:38,579 You knew it was a snake when you picked it up. 324 00:13:39,983 --> 00:13:41,649 What? 325 00:13:41,718 --> 00:13:43,751 You knew who I was. 326 00:13:45,421 --> 00:13:48,222 You don't get to act surprised now. 327 00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:50,057 328 00:13:55,932 --> 00:13:56,764 (phone beeps) 329 00:14:05,274 --> 00:14:08,242 Becca and Vernon had their baby. 330 00:14:08,311 --> 00:14:10,578 It's a girl. 331 00:14:13,016 --> 00:14:14,482 Tallulah. 332 00:14:15,818 --> 00:14:17,752 Ew. (phone vibrates) 333 00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:20,721 (chuckles, sniffles) 334 00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:22,590 Becca had her baby. 335 00:14:28,131 --> 00:14:29,163 (phones chime) 336 00:14:33,269 --> 00:14:34,635 (sighs) 337 00:14:34,704 --> 00:14:37,872 Dorothy's crying. It's very mucous-y. 338 00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:40,741 Lindsay's just reciting the spoken word parts of "Lemonade." 339 00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:42,109 (scoffs) 340 00:14:42,178 --> 00:14:44,045 Such idiots. 341 00:14:44,113 --> 00:14:46,447 We're no better than them. 342 00:14:46,516 --> 00:14:48,416 Oh, speak for yourself. 343 00:14:48,484 --> 00:14:50,351 I'm not the one who flung my sandwich 344 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,887 like a upset chimp at the zoo. 345 00:14:52,955 --> 00:14:54,822 I threw it because I realized I was living 346 00:14:54,891 --> 00:14:56,490 with an uptight dildo 347 00:14:56,559 --> 00:14:58,059 whose personality unmakes itself 348 00:14:58,127 --> 00:15:00,061 anytime something bad happens. 349 00:15:00,129 --> 00:15:04,065 Says the woman who spent weeks catatonic on the couch 350 00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:06,033 in crusty yoga pants. 351 00:15:06,102 --> 00:15:08,703 - I have a clinical goddamn illness! - Oh, right. 352 00:15:08,771 --> 00:15:12,540 So you just win because your condition is listed in the DSM? 353 00:15:12,608 --> 00:15:14,975 No! I win because I am doing something about it. 354 00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,844 You're just lashing out 355 00:15:16,913 --> 00:15:18,179 and putting me under a microscope! 356 00:15:18,247 --> 00:15:19,880 It just happened! 357 00:15:21,184 --> 00:15:22,950 He just died. 358 00:15:23,019 --> 00:15:24,819 Right, I am still grieving, Gretchen. 359 00:15:24,887 --> 00:15:26,053 Jesus Christ! 360 00:15:26,122 --> 00:15:27,922 - But I was there first! - Where?! 361 00:15:27,990 --> 00:15:29,924 Here! In shit, miserable! 362 00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:32,359 There just isn't room 363 00:15:32,428 --> 00:15:35,362 for you to be broken right now, too. 364 00:15:35,431 --> 00:15:37,932 Oh, that... 365 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,667 that is complete... 366 00:15:39,736 --> 00:15:40,701 (exhales) 367 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,206 How is that okay? 368 00:15:45,274 --> 00:15:46,440 It's not. 369 00:15:46,509 --> 00:15:48,843 It is completely unfair. 370 00:15:48,911 --> 00:15:51,479 No. This is not supposed to... 371 00:15:51,547 --> 00:15:54,348 One person is supposed to be in the hospital bed. 372 00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:57,151 And then the other uncomfortably sleeping on that little couch, 373 00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,053 just sneaking home to shower and... 374 00:15:59,122 --> 00:16:00,621 (voice breaks): and walk the dog. 375 00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:02,123 - Right? - (exhales) 376 00:16:02,191 --> 00:16:05,693 Right, Jimmy. 377 00:16:05,762 --> 00:16:06,694 And yet... 378 00:16:16,916 --> 00:16:19,382 JIMMY: I said don't touch anything! 379 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:21,578 I knew it was a snake. 380 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,879 Get out! 381 00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:24,814 (sighs) 382 00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:34,157 You told me we could leave any time. 383 00:16:34,225 --> 00:16:36,092 - Right. - So why didn't you? 384 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,927 I've been mean. I have been angry. 385 00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,996 I've been judging you. 386 00:16:40,064 --> 00:16:42,465 Which was our one promise, from the beginning. 387 00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,066 If you were serious about leaving, 388 00:16:44,135 --> 00:16:45,768 then you would have gone by now. 389 00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:47,403 - You didn't leave, either. - I know. 390 00:16:47,472 --> 00:16:48,438 I don't know why. 391 00:16:48,506 --> 00:16:51,307 I think this may be impossible. 392 00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:03,953 But can't that be okay? 393 00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:09,559 I mean, the-the vast majority of all human effort, 394 00:17:09,627 --> 00:17:12,895 however great or miniscule, ends in failure. 395 00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:14,764 So, what are your options? 396 00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:18,734 You just ad-admit pre-defeat 397 00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:21,604 because the odds are that you're gonna be right? 398 00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:23,706 Or you do it anyway? 399 00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:29,745 (sighs) 400 00:17:31,082 --> 00:17:32,482 Maybe we're a success... 401 00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:33,950 (chuckles softly) 402 00:17:34,018 --> 00:17:35,518 ... regardless of the outcome, 403 00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:38,554 because... we tried. 404 00:17:40,792 --> 00:17:42,558 Maybe there's beauty in the struggle 405 00:17:42,627 --> 00:17:44,694 against near certain failure. 406 00:17:44,762 --> 00:17:45,962 Is that enough? 407 00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,897 A beautiful struggle? 408 00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:49,832 Maybe. It's all gonna suck one day, 409 00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:51,801 so enjoy it now, stop rocking the boat, 410 00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:53,703 and that is goddamn it?! 411 00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:02,979 It's like in my book. 412 00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:04,647 Ugh, no more book. 413 00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:05,848 Gretchen tired. 414 00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:07,149 In chapter 12, 415 00:18:07,218 --> 00:18:09,018 Kitty is headed to Lisbon 416 00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:10,586 to follow Take That on tour, 417 00:18:10,655 --> 00:18:13,322 but instead she stays with Simon, 418 00:18:13,391 --> 00:18:16,859 though they have no possible future. 419 00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:18,794 Oh, my God! That's makes perfect sense. 420 00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:21,063 That's why they stay together. 421 00:18:21,132 --> 00:18:23,132 They are mirrors of you and I. 422 00:18:23,201 --> 00:18:25,001 Theirs is a love forbidden, 423 00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:27,737 thus... doomed. 424 00:18:27,805 --> 00:18:28,905 Why is it forbidden? 425 00:18:28,973 --> 00:18:30,273 Well, because they're half-siblings. 426 00:18:30,341 --> 00:18:31,274 Wait, what?! 427 00:18:31,342 --> 00:18:32,475 Jimmy, we talking incest? 428 00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,176 How did you miss that? 429 00:18:34,245 --> 00:18:35,478 I wasn't listening that good. 430 00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:36,879 Look, when I came up with this story, 431 00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:38,648 I was, I was falling in love with you... 432 00:18:38,716 --> 00:18:40,116 e-even though it was, 433 00:18:40,184 --> 00:18:42,184 it was scary and-and wrong. 434 00:18:42,253 --> 00:18:45,087 I thought that I was avoiding my feelings 435 00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:47,023 by writing my book, but it was you 436 00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:48,891 who was fueling me 437 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,326 this whole time. 438 00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:53,229 Fueling you to write about a couple of horny sibs? 439 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,430 Give me. 440 00:18:57,735 --> 00:18:59,468 Show me the part you cranked out last night 441 00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:00,603 when you were all upset. 442 00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,171 Oh, no way. 443 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,308 If you're experiencing the sweeping psychodrama 444 00:19:05,376 --> 00:19:07,276 of The Width of a Peach, 445 00:19:07,345 --> 00:19:08,477 you're starting at the beginning. 446 00:19:08,546 --> 00:19:10,046 (chuckles) 447 00:19:10,114 --> 00:19:11,380 Chapter one. 448 00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:13,449 "A deep, orgasmic moaning 449 00:19:13,518 --> 00:19:15,952 "came from behind the undersized attic door, 450 00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,486 "while far above, 451 00:19:17,555 --> 00:19:20,122 "a German Sprengbombe Cylindrisch 1000 452 00:19:20,191 --> 00:19:22,592 "was falling towards Catherine Wheel Alley, 453 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:26,629 City of London, Post Code EC2N4RQ." 454 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:27,930 Why do we need the post... 455 00:19:27,999 --> 00:19:30,299 Good writing is detailed. 456 00:19:30,368 --> 00:19:31,968 Shh. 457 00:19:33,771 --> 00:19:37,440 Oh, I've been so jealous and awful. 458 00:19:37,508 --> 00:19:39,108 I've been trying to get a job for so long, 459 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:40,676 and then when it happened for you so quickly, 460 00:19:40,745 --> 00:19:42,645 I just... couldn't handle it. 461 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:44,113 Hey... 462 00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:47,450 I was so intimidated by you in our first class. 463 00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:50,686 You did the whole intro in that fake Norwegian accent. 464 00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,556 My insecure vampire character. 465 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:54,523 Mm-hmm. 466 00:19:54,592 --> 00:19:55,691 "Velcome to class. 467 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,193 "I vant to suck your blood... 468 00:19:57,261 --> 00:19:58,861 (laughing) "because I suck. 469 00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:01,897 Does this cape make my fangs look fat?" 470 00:20:05,036 --> 00:20:06,502 God, I was funny, huh? 471 00:20:06,571 --> 00:20:08,270 You still are. 472 00:20:09,907 --> 00:20:12,308 (phone ringing) 473 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,609 I'll be right back. 474 00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:18,381 Edgar. Doug Benson, DB Industries. 475 00:20:18,449 --> 00:20:20,216 Listen, I love your sketch ideas. 476 00:20:20,284 --> 00:20:22,163 Still chuckling over "Lying Lawyer is a Liar." 477 00:20:22,286 --> 00:20:25,187 I'm putting together a writers' room for three months and I need 478 00:20:25,256 --> 00:20:26,555 you in it, starting Monday. 479 00:20:26,624 --> 00:20:28,791 Uh, y-yes. 480 00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,493 Y-Yes, Mr. Benson, of course. 481 00:20:30,561 --> 00:20:31,560 Okay, I got to go. 482 00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:32,995 I'm eating sushi 483 00:20:33,064 --> 00:20:34,296 off this Israeli model's naked bod 484 00:20:34,365 --> 00:20:35,865 and the toro is getting warm. 485 00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:37,500 (woman giggles) 486 00:20:37,568 --> 00:20:38,401 Oh. 487 00:20:40,571 --> 00:20:41,771 DOUG: Say hi, Tova. 488 00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:45,374 Hmm. Who was that? 489 00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:47,610 Uh... 490 00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:48,811 my job. 491 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,179 I-I have to go in Monday, 492 00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:51,614 uh, to the gym. 493 00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:53,683 Uh, someone knocked a door 494 00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:55,818 off of the shower stall... 495 00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,887 - in the men's locker room. - Colby and Travis? 496 00:20:57,955 --> 00:21:00,389 We'll never know. 497 00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:01,791 - But, yeah, obviously. - (laughs) 498 00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:08,831 (whispers): Yes. 499 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:18,961 You thought you could master me, but I'm a person, Paul. 500 00:21:19,029 --> 00:21:20,696 I'm not one of your hobbies. 501 00:21:20,764 --> 00:21:22,197 You're right. 502 00:21:22,266 --> 00:21:25,534 I wanted a family so badly, I was willing to look past 503 00:21:25,603 --> 00:21:28,904 the septendecillion pieces of evidence that screamed, 504 00:21:28,973 --> 00:21:31,039 "We are wrong for each other." 505 00:21:31,108 --> 00:21:34,034 Think you can stay here a little bit longer? 506 00:21:34,111 --> 00:21:35,978 Just until we get our affairs in order? 507 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,713 Of course. 508 00:21:42,453 --> 00:21:44,753 I guess... in the end, 509 00:21:44,822 --> 00:21:47,656 we were just two stars born light-years apart. 510 00:21:47,716 --> 00:21:49,116 You need to find someone 511 00:21:49,185 --> 00:21:50,817 in your own constellation, Lindsay. 512 00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:53,453 Oh, Bear. 513 00:21:53,522 --> 00:21:55,355 Mm. 514 00:21:58,661 --> 00:22:01,495 So you'll throw away the prenup? 515 00:22:01,564 --> 00:22:04,097 (exhales) 516 00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:06,133 You stabbed me. 517 00:22:06,202 --> 00:22:09,503 You cuckolded me. 518 00:22:09,572 --> 00:22:12,206 You ruined my life. 519 00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:18,212 Better lawyer up, bitch. 520 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,980 (gasps) 521 00:22:35,998 --> 00:22:38,398 JIMMY: "Simon watched the man exit the motel, 522 00:22:38,467 --> 00:22:40,567 "and they were alone again. 523 00:22:40,636 --> 00:22:42,469 "He, gazing at her, 524 00:22:42,538 --> 00:22:45,005 "she, staring at her own reflection. 525 00:22:45,074 --> 00:22:47,841 "Both of them were watching the same thing, 526 00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:50,644 the tears filling Kitty's eyes." 527 00:22:50,713 --> 00:22:52,512 (sighs softly) 528 00:22:54,016 --> 00:22:56,216 Dude, keep going! 529 00:22:56,285 --> 00:22:59,019 I need to know what happens with Kitty and Simon and Bug. 530 00:22:59,088 --> 00:23:00,721 I'm so worried about Bug. 531 00:23:00,789 --> 00:23:01,855 Well, that's all I wrote. 532 00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:03,690 Well, go finish it. 533 00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:05,058 You know how it ends, right? 534 00:23:05,127 --> 00:23:07,027 I do now. 535 00:23:08,230 --> 00:23:10,764 But first... 536 00:23:10,833 --> 00:23:12,933 I need to rest my eyes. 537 00:23:13,002 --> 00:23:15,502 I've been up for two days. 538 00:23:16,705 --> 00:23:18,538 Come here. 539 00:23:25,681 --> 00:23:27,881 540 00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:30,150 We didn't solve anything. 541 00:23:32,521 --> 00:23:34,388 I know. 542 00:23:35,858 --> 00:23:37,724 Okay. 543 00:23:39,662 --> 00:23:42,729 This year, I'll spend November 544 00:23:42,798 --> 00:23:45,699 In the house 545 00:23:45,768 --> 00:23:48,101 August sort of stifled... 546 00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:50,170 Shit. 547 00:23:50,239 --> 00:23:51,471 That's nine. 548 00:23:52,741 --> 00:23:54,374 It's coyness, boy 549 00:23:54,443 --> 00:23:57,811 That caught you out 550 00:23:58,900 --> 00:24:01,231 - Synced and corrected by DaddyBear - - www.addic7ed.com - 551 00:24:01,281 --> 00:24:05,831 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38498

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.