All language subtitles for The Boondocks s01e02.eng

♪ I am the stone
The builder refused ♪

♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪

♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪

♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪

♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪

♪ So that you can know
Left from right ♪

♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪

♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪

♪ To call your brother sun ♪

♪ The story that just begun ♪

♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪

♪ And I'm a remain a soldier ♪

♪ Till the war is won ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪

Here's something black people have known

for a couple of hundred years:

Niggas are crazy.

Black people don't like to talk
about crazy niggas in public

'cause white people
may be listening.

But I'm afraid
the secret might be out.

Former singer Whitney Houston appeared in court

alongside husband
Bobby Brown,

who's facing battery charges

for allegedly beating
his once-respectable wife.

Hell to nah!
Bobby don't hit me.

See, we have this TV show,
a-and it's- It's our TV show.

And I was tryin'
to get more time on it.

It's my show, bitch!

You know,
I think they're on drugs.

Let's see what's on BET.

Oh, Lordy-Lord.
Oh, shake it to the right.

Mm. Shake it,
shake it, shake.

You boys cover your eyes.
Shake, shake, shake.

♪ Move them butt cheeks ♪

Got to leave something
to the imagination.

That's just showin'
too much booty. Turn it.

And on our "Talking Points"
this evening,

it seems like
the hip-hop community

is trading in
their gold chains

for gold showers.

Hip-hop singer R. Kelly
is on trial again this week

for sharing some
of his liquid bling

with yet another underage girl.

Some advice for Mr. Kelly:

Next time,
use a golden shower curtain

and keep your golden showers
to yourself.

What's wrong with a man
giving away a golden shower?

Sounds like
a nice gift to me.

What? Shoot, I wish somebody
gave me a golden shower.

One, I like gold.
Two, I like showers.

Put it together, hey,
that sound like the life.

Hoo!

If you're good,

Santa Claus might give you
a golden shower for Christmas.

Christmas?

My man Santa.

And controversial
R & B superstar R. Kelly

will be heading
into court tomorrow

for the first day of his latest
highly anticipated trial

for child pornography

and lewd acts
with a local minor.

Granddad, can you take us
into the city tomorrow

to watch the R. Kelly trial?

Hell, no.

But you can walk.

It's 40 miles.

All the money I spent
on them damn Nikes?

Heh. You better
"just do it. "

Assistant District Attorney
Thomas DuBois

is leading the prosecution
of Kelly

and has a mountain
of evidence

against the famous
R & B performer,

including a videotape
allegedly showing Kelly

urinating on
a 14-year-old girl,

which is widely available
for download

at www. FreeToPee. Com.
Ooh.

I'm gonna go, uh...

check my e-mail.

Yeah.

Get your little short ass
back here!

Hey, boys!

Hey there, Huey.
Riley.

I couldn't help
but notice your sign,

and I hope you boys
aren't too upset about me

having to prosecute Mr. Kelly.

Hey, man, you do
what you gotta do.

Why R. Kelly, huh?
What did R. Kelly do to you?

He's accused
of relieving himself

on an underage girl on tape,

which is against the law.

Okay, okay, okay.

But let's examine
this whole peein' thing.

So I can pee in a toilet,
and it's okay,

but if I pee on a person,
it's, like, not okay?

Well... yeah.

Well, what if I'm peein',
and Huey's in the bathroom,

and I accidentally pee
on Huey?

Should I go to jail?

What the hell would I be
doin' in the bathroom

while you're in the bathroom?

Hold up, hold up.

Remember when we used
to sleep in the same bed

when we was littler?

From time to time,
I'd have a little accident.

You still do.
Shut up.

So, Mr. DuBois,

Mr. "I Wanna Lock Niggas Up
for Peein',"

what's the statute of
limitations on bed-wettin'?

Why not prosecute me and
R. Kelly at the same time, huh?

Now, Riley, no one's
going to prosecute you

for bed-wetting.

And you shouldn't.

It's a natural bodily function.

And now every nigga in the world
gonna be scared to pee.

I may never pee again!

Riley, it was a little girl!

Oh, I seen that girl.
She ain't little.

I'm little.
Yes.

Gary Coleman's little.
Yes.

Mini-Me is little.
Very.

And to the best
of my knowledge,

we all managed to avoid
gettin' peed on so far.

But what about the victim?

Oh, yes, the victim.

At what point does
personal responsibility

become a factor
in this equation?

I don't think that...

I see piss comin', I move.
Mm.

She saw piss comin',
she stayed.

Yes, she did, but...

And why should I have
to miss out

on the next R. Kelly album
just for that?

Man, you just got beat
by an 8-year-old.

And if R. Kelly goes to jail,
I'll piss on your cat!

I tell you,

it sure is beautiful out here.

White folks sure know
how to make some nice foliage.

Ah, come on, Ruckus.

You can't give the white man
credit for the trees.

Where them two little
nappy-headed grandkids of yours?

Ah, they went into the city

to watch the trial
of that singer.

Oh, right, right.

That black sumbitch
that supposed to have had

urinal relations with
that underage colored gal.

Didn't Jerry Lee Lewis
marry a 14-year-old baby?

You can't compare
a chocolate monkey like R. Kelly

to Jerry Lee Lewis!

Jerry Lee Lewis
is the king of rock 'n' roll!

Great balls of fire!

Besides,
that situation was different.

That was family.

We're here at the R. Kelly trial,

where there are
a handful of angry protesters

making their voices heard.

These are scholars, activists,

pillars of
the African-American community,

and they are outraged.

And we're just going
to head over here

to the R. Kelly supporters,

where it's quite
the festive event.

And you are?
Hey!

Now, why did you come out here
to support R. Kelly?

'Cause he good!

And what about those protesters
over there

who say he's crossed the line?

Mm.

Man, fuck them literate-ass,
uppity niggas.

All they talk about
is readin' and eatin' right.

Nobody wanna hear
all that shit.

If I wanna get
high blood pressure, then...

Nigga, get the carrot
away from me!

If I wanna get
high blood pressure,

then damn it,
that's my business!

Let's talk to another
R. Kelly supporter.

Uh, you there, urban youth.

Why do you think
R. Kelly is innocent?

If I started peein'
on you right now,

would you, A,
smile and ask for more,

or B, move the hell
out the way?

But before you answer that,
let me ask America:

Has pee ever
really hurt anybody?

And I wanna give a big shout-out
to my homey,

D-Bone, whassup?!

Okay, that's enough.

Oof.

Get off me!

Get off me, Huey!

Free R. Kelly!

Hey, yo, yo, yo! Look!
Free R. Kelly!

Those R. Kelly haters
are oppressin' that little boy!

Free R. Kelly!

Free- Argh!

Get out of here, y'all.

We know what we talkin' about.

Get 'em!
You want a piece of me?

Aaaahhh!

I knew it would be
just a matter of time

before violence broke out.

It's pandemonium here
at the R. Kelly trial.

Oh, the humanity!

Mr. Kelly!
Mr. Kelly!

Do you have a statement?

This is truly an example

of black people
stickin' together.

In the words of Sister Souljah,

"An injustice anywhere
is an injustice...

anywhere. "

Amen.

What did O.J. Simpson say
to Kobe after his case was over?

What's that?

Don't let this whole trial thing

turn you off to white women.

That's funny on so many levels.

Lord, I just wish they would
let me on that jury, boy.

Thank God for the white man's
court of law.

It's the only way to keep these
crazy niggas under control.

Well, that and pepper spray.

You know,
I sat on a jury one time.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

It was in 1957,
back in Tennessee.

Now, the defendant was accused

of shootin'
three little white women

with a Winchester rifle
from about 50 yards away.

See, now, he thought
he was gonna get off

with that old
"I'm blind" excuse,

but, oh, boy,
he had another thing comin'.

The jury will now go off and deliberate on...

Guilty!

That nigga is guilty!

Sir, settle down.
You have to go deliberate.

I don't need to deliberate.
Hang that nigga now!

I got the rope right here!

King me.

Lady Liberty is on our side.

Justice will prevail.

The judge and jury
will do the right thing.

I'm telling you, Huey,
it's an open-and-shut case.

Mr. DuBois,
are you fully aware

the extent to which
niggas love R. Kelly?

Oh, Huey, it's under control.

Watch me work.

And so, ladies and gentlemen,

not only will we prove
it is Mr. Kelly in the video,

we will prove
that the victim was 14

at the time
the video was shot.

Thank you, Mr. DuBois.

And now we'll have
the opening statement

for the defense.

The ancient Greeks,

the architects
of Western civilization,

would regularly indulge
in sexual activities

with children.

Were they... perverts?

In Puritan America,

the forefathers
of this great land

would take wives
who were 12 or 13 years old,

much younger
than the alleged victim.

Were they... sickos?

In Tokyo, you can buy
teenage girls' panties

in vending machines.

Do we call them...

"disgusting"?

Of course not!

What do all those things
have to do with Robert Kelly?

Nothing.

Let's get to the point.

Now, some people see
this so-called "mountain"

of evidence,

these "videotapes,"
"photographs,"

"eyewitnesses" and "DNA,"

and see a guilty man.

But some of us can see
that "mountain"

of so-called "evidence"

for what it really is:

racism.

Oh, he said it right there.

Which one was the one
that got caught

with that homely,
little white gal?

Kobe.

Right.

Now, I know exactly
what happened to Kobe.

Kobe caught that white fever.

White fever will get
in your blood, man.

It'll make you crazy.

And you know they got them
short, little skirts nowadays

and that, uh- What-?
What they call them?

The-? The-? The tongs?

Thongs.

Yeah, right.

They got the thongs
all up the booty crack,

and they got
that sweet white nectar.

Oh, Lord, have mercy.

And after that, it's over.

You wake up, and you don't
even know what you darn done.

Just a pool of sweat
around your ankles

and a deep sense
of satisfaction.

Gimme a minute, Robert.

You look like you need
to take five.

Mm-hm. Yeah, sure.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

I present to you
the R. Kelly tape.

I warn you, it is graphic.

Yeah!

Oh. Oh, my...
Oh, my...

No, he didn't.

Objection! We can't even
see his face clearly.

Man, he got freckles and everything.

That proves nothing!

Hello? Yes, this
is Robert Kelly.

Yes, the singer.

You want
my Social Security number?

Sure,
it's 916-34-7865.

Okay. God bless.

Well, um...

Now, young lady,

I know this might be hard
to talk about.

No, it's cool.

How old were you when
you were seeing Mr. Kelly?

Mm, 14 and a quarter.

Wow. That's a great age,
isn't it?

Still learning so much
about the world.

Whatever.
I guess.

Could you describe
the events leading up

to the shooting of the video?

Yeah. He asked
if he could pee on me,

and I said, "Fo' sho'."

I mean, it's R. Kelly,
the Pied Piper of R & B.

I been peed on by guys that
don't even have record deals.

Shit, if I didn't want
to get peed on,

I'd just move out the way.

Ha! I told you!

Order!

Would you describe yourself

as an African-American woman?

Nigga, you blind?

No, I'm not.

So it's safe to say
that R. Kelly is...

sexually attracted
to black women, right?

Mm-hm.

Objection, relevance!

Your Honor, I'm trying
to establish to the court

that my client
is a proud black man

who loves his black sistas,

unlike District Attorney DuBois,

who's married...

to a white woman!

Damn.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Now, I've listened
to your black ass

talk all day about how much
you can't stand black folks.

Ain't two of 'em
in the history of the world

that's worth a squirrel fart.

Well, how much
you love white folks?

Best thing the good Lord
ever did for the planet Earth.

Ruckus, you black
as the ace of spades, man.

I don't see the need for you
to go and insult a man

after a game of Checkers.

We been reminiscin' all day,
lookin' in each other's eyes,

actin' like we like each other.

Now, you gotta go ahead
and remind me of my ailment.

Ailment?
That's right.

You heard of vitiligo?

Shoot!
Well, I got re-vitiligo.

Every year my skin just seem
to get blacker and darker

and blacker
and then more darker. Huh.

It's the opposite
of what Michael Jackson got.

Lucky bastard.

Ruckus, how could you possibly
love white people so much?

It's easy. Have you
ever looked at 'em?

White man is just a joy
to be around.

They smell like lemon juice
and Pledge furniture cleaner.

And look at 'em.
They gave us discipline, jobs,

put structure in our life,
took us out the jungle.

And what we do
to show our appreciation?

We march up and down the street.

We vote. Carry on.

Ingrates.

Well, how about this?

Game.

Nigga.

I'm going to show you

something they don't
want you to see.

Something that will
blow this case wide open.

This is R. Kelly's NAACP Image
Award Certificate of Nomination.

Hey, man,

you got his card?

He's good.

Did you wash your hands?

You think they nominate
just anyone

for this award?
I got one!

You know why he wants
to put R. Kelly in jail?

Why?
Because he's afraid of R. Kelly.

Oh.
Objection!

Shhh! Would you be quiet?

Shush.
I think he's afraid.

I think the whole system
is afraid of R. Kelly.

Your Honor, please!

If you don't shut up...

They're afraid because
they see the power for good

that this man wields
through his music.

Yes, they do.
Mm-hm.

They don't want
R. Kelly to be free

because they don't want you
to be free!

They don't want me to be free!

Maybe R. Kelly did urinate
on this woman.

But America urinated
on R. Kelly!

Oh!

Tell 'em!
He got framed!

And if you let them
put this man in jail,

America will urinate
on each and every one of you!

Assalamu'alaikum.

Wa alaikum assalam.

Brother.

Please, people.
You saw the tape.

The girl testified
she was underage.

You- You're not allowed
to do that to a little girl!

We have a videotape!

Go tell that
to your white bitch.

Mmm-hmm.

But the girl was...

Prosecution rests.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

all that needs to be said
is this:

Aw, yeah!

? Stickin' to me, girl?

? Golden when we touch?

? Fit just like
We're meant to be together?

? We just started?

? Feel your body
Let it go?

? We can make this-?

Hey!

What the hell is wrong
with you people?

Every famous nigga that gets
arrested is not Nelson Mandela!

Yes, the government conspires

to put a lot
of innocent black men in jail

on fallacious charges,

but R. Kelly
is not one of those men!

We all know the nigga can sing,
but what happened to standards?

What happened to bare minimums?

You a fan of R. Kelly?

You wanna help R. Kelly?

Then get some counseling
for R. Kelly!

Introduce him
to some older women.

Hide his camcorder.

But don't pretend
like the man is a hero!

And stop the damn dancin'!

Act like you got
some goddamn sense, people!

Damn!

Through playin' around here!

Boooooo!

Hey, you with the Afro!

Give it a rest! Beat it!

Put the music back on!

? Got you stressin'?

I did battle with ignorance today,

and ignorance won.

I admit that I'm often...

vexed at the behavior
of my own people.

Yeah, "vexed" is a good word.

I told you about messi''
with them white women.

You do what you can to help black folks,

and they make you wonder
why you even bother.

But they're our people,

and we gotta love 'em
regardless.

Break it down!

One thing for sure, though.

Can't blame this one
on the white man.

What am I saying?

Of course I can.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0