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1
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,802
Cory, let's go!
2
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,576
You wanna be late
for your first day of high school?
3
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:17,982
Alan, don't yell at him.
He's probably a nervous wreck.
4
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,350
Hey, Mom! Hey, Dad!
How ya doing?
5
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:23,549
- Hey, Morgan, lookin' short.
- Go back to camp, loser.
6
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:27,592
- Cor, you're not...?
- A nervous wreck?
7
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,562
No, because I know my place.
8
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,395
I understand where I am
in the high school universe.
9
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,958
See, I'm starting off a nothing - a zero.
10
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,027
A big booger.
11
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:40,339
You know how you tell me,
the earlier I do my homework,
12
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,501
- the better I'll know the stuff?
- You've done homework?
13
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,568
It's a metaphor.
14
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,740
But all summer long, I bugged Eric
about what high school's gonna be like.
15
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:50,477
- And I took notes.
- Ooh... impressive.
16
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:55,285
Thank you. So, how do I avoid years
and years of abuse and humiliation?
17
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:57,984
Don't get married.
18
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,926
- It's a metaphor.
- All right, here's my plan.
19
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:04,897
Today I make friends with the most feared
and influential senior in high school -
20
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,126
Harley Keiner.
21
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:09,431
And in one master stroke,
I go from lowly first year victim,
22
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,495
to Harley's most trusted advisor.
23
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:16,135
Cor, as proud as I'd be to see you become
Harley's toady footstool,
24
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,735
you don't have to reinvent yourself
for high school.
25
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,077
Yeah, really, relax.
Go, enjoy it.
26
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,743
You don't need a plan.
Nobody else has a plan.
27
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:26,878
Cory, I lost my copy of the plan.
28
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:31,621
I knew I shouldn't have left the old school.
I was so cool in the old school.
29
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,992
They had no right to pass me.
I am an idiot!
30
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:38,457
See? Shawn's not reinventing himself.
31
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:42,162
Shawn... are those sideburns?
32
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:46,470
You mean the ones on my face?
33
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:51,436
It's just that when you saw you yesterday,
they weren't on your face, were they?
34
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:58,177
Mrs. Matthews, you just can't accept
the fact that Cory and I are growing up.
35
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,652
And we're old enough now to...
36
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,320
buy our own hair.
37
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:08,093
- You've got a glue spot on your cheek.
- Oh...
38
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,857
OK, thanks.
39
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:13,594
All right, look, we've got all the answers
to high school right here.
40
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:17,399
- Having a big brother finally paid off.
- Cor, sign this.
41
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:23,407
"With regard to my brother, Eric Matthews,
hereafter referred to as 'Oh, Great One,'
42
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:28,177
I, Cory Matthews, hereafter referred to as
'insignificant speck,'
43
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,149
pledge never to contact the "Great One",
44
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:31,549
verbally or non-verbally,
45
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,814
during any and all school hours,
46
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,755
from this day forward, forever and ever."
47
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,815
Amen.
48
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,919
Nice to see you're looking out
for your brother on his first day.
49
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,022
Dad, word gets out I'm related
to a seventh grader, I lose all my status.
50
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:48,466
I mean, I might as well just strap on a tuba
and join the band.
51
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,266
So your social status means more to you
than your brother?
52
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:55,400
Mom, look, I don't like walking
all over Cory any more than you do.
53
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:58,377
It's just to keep up appearances.
I mean, he's my brother.
54
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,914
Of course I love him.
55
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,950
Amy, Alan...
56
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,052
...etcetera.
57
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:13,287
So Mr. Feeny, are you feeling any regret
that you're losing us from your class?
58
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,692
No.
59
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,386
What can we do for you, George?
60
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:20,525
There is a large, rusty object,
blocking not only my driveway,
61
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:25,061
- but most of the light into my kitchen.
- That's my new car.
62
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,171
May I assume it moves?
63
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:31,575
Sure, like the wind.
Especially downhill.
64
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,805
Oh, you want me to move it?
65
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:38,943
Well, we certainly can't count on
anyone stealing it.
66
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,783
You know, it just hit me.
67
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:45,690
High school means
we're through with Feeny.
68
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,524
This is the greatest day of our lives.
69
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,530
- Yes!
- Yes!
70
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:55,197
(both) How do you do...
Do, do, do...
71
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,260
You know what, Shawn?
72
00:03:57,337 --> 00:04:01,604
- We're in high school now.
- Yeah, we do have to be cooler.
73
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:05,776
(both) Hey!
74
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:06,905
- Ooh, yeah...
- Gotcha!
75
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,382
(both) Oh, give it to me!
Ooh, yeow, yeah!
76
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,112
Dude...
77
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,882
This is it - high school.
78
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:21,395
What happens to us now
will determine our entire futures.
79
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,726
- This is it!
- Ouch! Ooh...
80
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:28,565
High school! What happens to us now
will determine our entire futures.
81
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,433
Are my sideburns on straight?
82
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,905
Shawn, what are you worried about?
Look, it's just a school.
83
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,169
There's no lockers.
There's a class...
84
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:39,546
...and a kid in his underwear.
85
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,309
- They took my clothes!
- Who?
86
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:44,044
- Seniors. Seniors took my clothes.
- Why?
87
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,881
Just 'cause I'm a new guy.
88
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,582
- Well, I'm a new guy.
- Well, good luck to ya.
89
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,619
- Uh, Cor?
- No, no. Don't worry about it.
90
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,422
He must've had it coming.
He must've done something...
91
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,224
Hey!
92
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,465
- What did I do?!
- You were almost in my way.
93
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,834
You're Frankie Stecchino, right?
94
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:08,672
- Yeah, how'd you know?
- "Strong territorial sense."
95
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,702
We are just looking for
our homeroom, you know?
96
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,508
It's in there.
97
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,277
- In there?
- Right there.
98
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:19,410
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
99
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,183
Hey, I'm the first one here.
100
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:26,356
And now for you.
Why was you almost in my way?
101
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:29,726
You know, if I was in my homeroom,
I wouldn't be anywhere near your way.
102
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,788
- Huh?
- I think he's saying,
103
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,767
that if he was someplace else,
he wouldn't be here.
104
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,031
What?
You saying I'm gay?
105
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,972
No. No, I didn't say that.
Come on, let's finish him off.
106
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:44,034
No, I need to be alone with my thoughts.
107
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,249
- I think we can go now.
- No, thanks.
108
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:55,949
I think I feel a lot safer in here.
109
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,459
But the view is better out here.
110
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:03,556
Shawn, if Harley Keiner's
the biggest and meanest,
111
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:06,498
then who are those two
who almost killed us?
112
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:10,298
What if they were the nice guys?
What if they're the welcoming committee?
113
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,032
What is this place?
114
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,838
- Hi.
- Topanga!
115
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:20,436
- What's with you guys?
- We just missed you, that's all.
116
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,573
Walk in front of us.
117
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:30,021
- What are you staring at?
- Uh... nothing.
118
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,549
- New blouse?
- Yeah, I got it over the summer.
119
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,658
Summer was very good to you.
120
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,666
- Yeah, well, at least what I grew is real.
- Ouch!
121
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,759
(bell ringing)
122
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,395
That's homeroom.
I checked the list, we're all together.
123
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,997
Room 218.
We have Mr. Turner.
124
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,065
Turner... Turner...
125
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:53,546
He's not on here. What if he was so bad,
Eric didn't want to tell me anything?
126
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:57,914
What if he was just like Feeny?
Only... Feenier.
127
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:01,084
Teachers - the one thing here,
I am not afraid of.
128
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:04,318
I haven't met one yet
that I couldn't take down.
129
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,259
- Hey!
- (all) Hey.
130
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,920
That is Harley, I know it.
131
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,897
That is Harley Keiner.
132
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:16,129
- That guy's gotta be 30 years old.
- He's a lifer.
133
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,604
I think I made a very good first impression.
134
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,141
Excuse me.
135
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:24,109
Excuse me. Sir?
My name's Cory Matthews
136
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,203
- and I want to be your friend.
- Cool.
137
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,374
Yeah. I'll hold your coat for you,
I'll stand in lunch line for you.
138
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,748
- I'll even do detention for you.
- Yeah, nice offer.
139
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,980
Why don't you just do the homework?
140
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,955
I'm not sure you want me
doing your homework.
141
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,720
I want all my students
doing the homework.
142
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,422
You're so mean they gave you students?
143
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:46,824
They give all the teachers students.
I'm Jonathan Turner.
144
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,892
You can call me "Mr."
145
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,730
(bell ringing)
146
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,933
You're late.
147
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,604
OK, I'm here for homeroom.
I'm here for English
148
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,445
and I'm here anytime
you just wanna talk.
149
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:06,384
- Cool.
- Did I say you could talk?
150
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:09,013
- I thought so...
- You trouble, Matthews?
151
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,955
You the guy who's gonna
bring down the new teacher?
152
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,220
No, sir, that would be Shawn.
153
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:15,685
- I mean that...
- No, Matthews. Good man, good man.
154
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,754
Shawn... Wait, don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
155
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,663
Now, if Shawn is real trouble,
156
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:23,898
Shawn is really gonna try to
avoid making eye contact with...
157
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,962
Hi, Shawn.
158
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,898
- How ya doing?
- I'm good.
159
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:32,105
So, Shawn, buddy... You know
anything about The Odyssey?
160
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,841
- Yes, I do.
- Yeah, besides that it's a book.
161
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,181
No, I don't.
162
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:42,554
OK. Who knows what "odyssey" means?
163
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,288
- What's your name?
- Topanga.
164
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,820
- Topanga.
- It means a difficult journey.
165
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:49,988
Yes, it does.
An epic journey.
166
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,827
About a guy just trying to get home alive.
167
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,424
In fantasy worlds, with characters
who have these ancient notions
168
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:58,495
- about loyalty and heroism.
- Yeah, who wants to read that?
169
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,563
Yeah, apparently you do.
170
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,576
- What is that, X-Men?
- No, it's...
171
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:07,940
What, I don't know X-Men when I see it?
It's a great issue, wasn't it?
172
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,483
- You read X-Men?
- Do I read X-Men?
173
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,042
Fantasy worlds, epic heroism...
Yeah, I read X-Men.
174
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,985
In fact, let's all read X-Men.
175
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,423
Your assignment is to read The
Odyssey and this issue of X-Men.
176
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,017
Finally! A cool teacher.
177
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,586
My friend, Mr. Matthews,
will lead the discussion
178
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:27,031
on the similarities and the differences.
179
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,535
Feeny with an earring.
180
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:35,037
Shawn, he's on to us.
He singled us out on the first day.
181
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,407
No, Cory.
He singled you out on the first day.
182
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,345
- You singled me out.
- Sorry.
183
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,678
So, where's the next stop
on this misery bus?
184
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,945
Uh... Earth Science.
Let's go.
185
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,544
- (bell ringing)
- I don't have Earth Science.
186
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,054
I've got History.
187
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,455
- You mean...
- We're gonna be separated?
188
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:54,050
- No! Shawn!
- No! Cory!
189
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,600
Friday, Dylan's parents
are going out of town and...
190
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,693
Hey, Eric!
191
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,761
You know me?
192
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,966
I... heard of you.
193
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,565
Eric Matthews, right?
194
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,372
Cool junior. Only child.
195
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,541
Yeah, everybody's heard of you.
196
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:18,916
Even insignificant specks like me, who are
having the worst possible day of their lives.
197
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:22,349
- I don't care.
- Thanks. See ya.
198
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:26,484
So Harley,
last year of high school again, huh?
199
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,994
- Thinking about going to college?
- Yeah.
200
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:32,055
This year I might even take the SOTs.
201
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:36,359
Harley Keiner?
How the heck are ya?
202
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,428
How the heck am I?
203
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,368
Kill him.
204
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:45,537
Hey, look, it's the kid
from when you were scared.
205
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,214
What?
206
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,275
I need time.
207
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,885
Look, Harley,
I'll make this short and sweet.
208
00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:59,687
Everyone knows you're a tough guy,
a vicious guy.
209
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,284
But that's all they know.
210
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,956
If you made friends with a seventh grader
and just, you know,
211
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:08,331
looked out for him all year,
everyone would like you even more.
212
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,235
- What's your name, kid?
- Cory Matthews.
213
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,536
Nah... that's a poufy name.
214
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:20,410
If you're gonna hang with me, you've gotta
have a name that inspires fear and respect.
215
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,642
Let me look at you.
216
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:29,922
I got it. From now on,
you are Johnny Baboon.
217
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:31,914
Cool.
218
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,951
The bell rang, gentlemen,
several minutes ago.
219
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,625
What are you doing in the hall?
You shouldn't be in the hall.
220
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,691
What's your name?
221
00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:45,432
Johnny Baboon.
222
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:51,174
You're making fun of me?
Nobody makes fun of Marion Stimpleman!
223
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,577
(mocking) Marion.
224
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,805
To the principal's office,
both of you.
225
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,750
- What did I do, Marion?
- You're with him, Keiner.
226
00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:02,414
You should learn to
pick your friends better.
227
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:09,158
OK, we will see the principal
in alphabetical order.
228
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,824
OK, you first, Baboon.
229
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:17,230
I only wanted us to be liked.
Now I'm Johnny Baboon.
230
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:22,241
- At least my life can't get any worse.
- Wrong again...
231
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,772
...Mr. Baboon
232
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:31,179
- Mr. Feeny?
- The legend continues.
233
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:35,080
- Wait, you're the principal here?
- Acting principal.
234
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,714
Oh, so that means
you're only temporary, right?
235
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:44,355
I mean, you don't have the full authority
to authorize, let's say, detention or caning?
236
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:50,631
No, the school board in it's infinite wisdom
has seen fit to give me full authority.
237
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:56,802
Now, then, Mr. Stimpleman,
what exactly did Mr. Matthews do?
238
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,107
Got on my nerves.
239
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,005
I can't imagine.
240
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:07,653
Well, Mr. Matthews,
why don't we treat this little rendezvous
241
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:12,988
as a dress rehearsal for the many visits
we'll undoubtedly have this year.
242
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:16,052
- Huh?
- Get out of my face.
243
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:21,500
Oh, sure. My next class is, uh,
American History with Mr. Fee...
244
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:25,527
Mr. Fe... Fe...
245
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,631
(bell ringing)
246
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,801
You're late.
247
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,409
So, Johnny, I just wanted to thank you
248
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,114
for the chance of meeting our
new school principal...
249
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:47,354
...and getting detention all week
with my good friend, Marion.
250
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,556
- I'm very, very sorry.
- Oh, think nothing of it.
251
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,725
By the way, Johnny B., do you think
you could meet me in the senior bathroom,
252
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:58,295
- say around 3:00?
- Sure. What for, gang pictures?
253
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:02,001
No, when I get through killing you,
you won't be so photogenic.
254
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,738
- You're gonna kill me?
- Oh, yeah... oh, yeah.
255
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:08,373
I really, really, really am.
But not until 3:00.
256
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,851
Enjoy your lunch.
257
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:24,393
- Ah, Mr. Turner, if I might have a word?
- Yeah, sit down.
258
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:29,933
And the word I believe would be...
"Shazam!"
259
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,740
Yes, George,
I did assign a classic comic book.
260
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:38,176
I realize that you're the new
"groovy" teacher...
261
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,372
...and I'm the hard-bound traditionalist.
262
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:44,213
I just thought I might use the material
to sort of relate to them on their level.
263
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:50,223
Oh. Mr. Turner, their level
is the level of the Beasts of the Field.
264
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:53,691
I want them off that level
and closer to our level...
265
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,025
or should I say my level.
266
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:58,496
- George?
- Mm-hmm?
267
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,557
You really think I'm a groovy teacher?
268
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:08,036
I think, Mr. Turner,
it shall be an interesting school year.
269
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:20,117
Well, we got off to a rocky start,
but at least we made it to lunch.
270
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,518
Aah!
271
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:26,718
Well, you got off to a rocky start,
but at least you made it to lunch.
272
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:29,388
Yep, my last meal.
273
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:32,688
Chicken. How appropriate.
274
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,899
You know, I wish it'd been
macaroni and cheese.
275
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:39,769
Because when Harley punches me
and I puke on him, it makes a bigger mess.
276
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:44,133
Good thinking. Here's better thinking -
ask your brother for help.
277
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,614
I can't. I signed that contract.
278
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,548
- You got a car, the new Mustang?
- Yeah.
279
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,348
Uh... only a little older
and a little bigger.
280
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,412
It's the new Mustang-Buick.
281
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:01,659
- Psst! Oh, great one...
- What are you doing here, Shawn?
282
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,161
I-I'm just calling him that.
283
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,027
I don't know that his name is Shawn
or anything.
284
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:06,793
Too bad.
285
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,262
- Well?
- OK, it's about your brother.
286
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:14,739
It's school hours.
I have no brother.
287
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:18,903
Yeah, and at 3:00,
you'll really have no brother.
288
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,279
Make this quick.
289
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,615
Help!
290
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:32,589
How could you possibly get
into this much trouble in one day?
291
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,093
It didn't take me a whole day.
292
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:37,962
All right, look...
293
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,555
Last bell,
head straight to the nurse's office.
294
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,124
Tell them you're sick. You have to have
Mom and Dad come and pick you up.
295
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:45,763
- Won't I look like a coward?
- Yeah, you will.
296
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,830
So why don't you fight him?
297
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:52,140
All right, who took
the last piece of chicken?!
298
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:58,117
I'm gonna kill the guy
who took the last piece of chicken.
299
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:02,350
And the nurse's office is where?
300
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,288
Do not attempt to recontact me.
301
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,397
So, what do you got?
302
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:21,606
Oh, you know, I got fever and...
chills and the fluttering pelvis.
303
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:25,735
- I got a broken nose.
- Got that.
304
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,803
- Sprained arm.
- Got that.
305
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,315
- And I got asthma.
- Ooh...
306
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,947
We're just gonna wait here
in the nurse's office
307
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:37,150
- until our parents or guardians pick us up.
- That's what we're gonna do everyday.
308
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,624
You're gonna sit
in the nurse's office everyday?
309
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:43,754
- It's safe.
- Safe. We like safe.
310
00:17:44,096 --> 00:17:46,395
Aren't you worried
what other guys will think?
311
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,991
- I mean, that they'll think you're...
- Cowards?
312
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,630
So, cowards. We're only gonna be
in this school six years.
313
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,697
No big deal.
314
00:17:56,042 --> 00:18:00,878
You know, I'm not gonna sit here
and fake an injury like a coward.
315
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:04,645
- I'm gonna go get a real one.
- (bell ringing)
316
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:08,711
Wow, 3:00!
We made it through the day.
317
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,848
- Who's next?
- Ouch!
318
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,119
Lucky.
319
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:18,558
Hey, Matthews,
we survived day one, huh?
320
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:22,398
The day is young, Sir...
and so was I.
321
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:28,037
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Yeah, I'll be the one face-up in the suit.
322
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,575
You OK, Matthews?
323
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:33,101
You know, Mr. Turner, you know that book
you gave us, The Odyssey?
324
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,671
- Yeah.
- Did the guy in that get home alive?
325
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:40,015
Yes, he did. He gets past the Cyclops,
the evil sirens and the clashing rocks.
326
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,920
Did he go to this high school?
327
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,322
- No.
- He's a nothing.
328
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,989
I'll see you tomorrow.
329
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,127
Got here as quick as I could.
I want you to know,
330
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,632
that whatever happens,
I'm right here with you.
331
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:58,660
Thanks, Shawn, but I'm pretty sure
this is something I gotta face alone.
332
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:02,436
Well, I don't know.
It just doesn't feel right leaving you here.
333
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:06,275
- There you are, Shawn.
- Now it feels right.
334
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:12,879
Well, it's five after three.
Maybe he's not gonna show.
335
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:17,481
And maybe I'm just trying to be
casually late, Mr. Anal-compulsive.
336
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:21,994
Look, don't toy with me.
I was looking forward to high school.
337
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:25,498
I had a plan. I gave you a chance
to change your whole future,
338
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:28,193
and not be a guy who beats up on kids
who are smaller than you,
339
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,758
for the rest of your life.
340
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,066
- You're giving me that chance?
- Yeah.
341
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:37,042
Well, here I stand
at the crossroads of my life.
342
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:41,175
Yet, I am what I am,
and I must kill you.
343
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,908
Aren't you gonna run or whine
or something?
344
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,542
- No.
- Oh?
345
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,280
I am what I am, too.
346
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:51,757
I'd rather be dead than be the school
coward for the next six years.
347
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,293
- You done?
- Guess I am.
348
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,920
Guess again!
349
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:03,194
- What are you doing here?
- I have no idea.
350
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:07,302
But I do know that I'm not gonna stand by
and let you beat up...
351
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,400
...somebody that I don't even know at all.
352
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,571
- OK, OK, he's my brother.
- Oh...
353
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:19,278
- This is your brother?
- Didn't he just say that?
354
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:21,252
Did not he just say I'm his brother?
355
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,188
- Just how stupid...
- Cory, don't provoke.
356
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:29,752
Well, how sweet. A chance to wipe out
the whole Baboon family.
357
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:34,164
3:00, guys! It's time to go home.
We gotta hose the place down.
358
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,633
Who the heck are you?
359
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:38,170
Oh, I'm your worst nightmare.
I'm a teacher.
360
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,799
Oh, a teacher.
No wonder I don't recognize ya.
361
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:44,901
- What do you teach?
- English Lit and kick boxing.
362
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,811
- What seems to be the problem?
- Nothing. We were working it out.
363
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,578
Actually, it looks like you're about
to pound this kid into the ground.
364
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:54,643
See... that's a problem for me.
365
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:59,522
'Cause if one of my students gets killed
the first day- I look bad.
366
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:04,223
People start to talk, I get a reputation.
I'm careless with students, you know?
367
00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:07,698
So do me a favor,
don't kill my student.
368
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,469
- Could I take you?
- Nah.
369
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:17,467
- But I could've taken the kid though.
- Good for you.
370
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:24,175
So, Odysseus,
looks like you may get home safely.
371
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:28,551
- Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow.
- Read the book.
372
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,556
I lived it.
373
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:38,029
- Hey, Eric, I want to tell you something.
- What do you want to say to me?
374
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,464
Thanks for being my brother.
375
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,325
Do I know you?
376
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:49,302
Shawn...
Shawn, you can come out.
377
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:53,677
The fight's over.
Our high school reputations are set.
378
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:56,306
I'm still working on mine.
379
00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:03,082
Big lockers in high school.
380
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:10,427
(door opens)
381
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:13,762
Ladies and gentlemen,
moms, dads and weasels...
382
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,533
I give you the man
who said he didn't have a brother.
383
00:22:16,602 --> 00:22:18,594
The man who said he didn't know me.
384
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,869
Eric "The Great One" Matthews!
385
00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:25,776
Aw, some goon at school
was trying to pick on Cory.
386
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:28,847
Just because he's bigger than him.
Don't you hate that? I hate that!
387
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,645
- I know, I hate that too.
- Who asked you, speck? Give me this.
388
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:34,250
- Hey, I'm watching that.
- What?!
389
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,721
- I'm just trying...
- Hey, don't hit the kids.
390
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:41,124
Hey, everybody be quiet.
I'm trying to watch TV.
391
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,158
That's power.
392
00:22:47,208 --> 00:22:51,758
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