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1
00:00:02,292 --> 00:00:04,931
(upbeat blues theme playing)
2
00:00:21,043 --> 00:00:23,922
Margaret, if I'm gonna run
a medical office effectively,
3
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,809
I'm gonna need these things
taken care of
4
00:00:25,810 --> 00:00:27,601
professionally and promptly.
5
00:00:27,602 --> 00:00:30,209
Thank you. Now, let's review.
6
00:00:30,210 --> 00:00:33,121
"Turkey, whole wheat
and light mayo" this time.
7
00:00:33,122 --> 00:00:34,562
(knocking on door)
8
00:00:34,563 --> 00:00:35,825
ANITA:
John, it's Anita.
9
00:00:35,826 --> 00:00:38,752
Margaret, I gotta go.
The hooker's here.
10
00:00:38,753 --> 00:00:42,177
No, no, no, she lives here.
11
00:00:42,178 --> 00:00:43,745
Not "here" here. Here.
12
00:00:43,746 --> 00:00:44,992
(knocking on door)
13
00:00:44,993 --> 00:00:47,264
Just... Just hold on.
14
00:00:47,265 --> 00:00:49,120
What?
15
00:00:49,121 --> 00:00:51,600
John, I'm sorry. Can I use your
bathroom to put my makeup on?
16
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,247
Yeah, I guess. Why?
17
00:00:53,248 --> 00:00:55,167
The lights in my apartment
shorted out again.
18
00:00:55,168 --> 00:00:57,536
And speaking of short,
have you seen Bob anywhere?
19
00:00:57,536 --> 00:00:59,119
I've been after him for days
to fix them,
20
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,623
and I'm ready to kill him.
21
00:01:00,624 --> 00:01:03,198
Yeah? Just don't kill him
before he fixes my refrigerator.
22
00:01:03,199 --> 00:01:05,743
Anyway, Margaret, I needed...
23
00:01:05,744 --> 00:01:07,679
Hello, Margaret? Mar...
24
00:01:07,679 --> 00:01:10,143
Well, that's just rude.
25
00:01:11,919 --> 00:01:14,462
Excuse me,
have you ever heard of knocking?
26
00:01:14,463 --> 00:01:15,695
Hey, I didn't think
you were home.
27
00:01:17,071 --> 00:01:19,469
And by the way, you know,
there's no reason to yell at me.
28
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,805
The other tenants make Bob
feel welcome in their homes.
29
00:01:21,806 --> 00:01:23,725
They trust Bob.
Oh, which reminds me.
30
00:01:23,726 --> 00:01:25,837
Guess what I found
in Mr. Zimmerman's closet.
31
00:01:25,838 --> 00:01:27,149
I know, I know.
Women's clothes.
32
00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:30,396
Everybody in the building knows
Zimmerman's a cross-dresser.
33
00:01:30,397 --> 00:01:31,757
What?
34
00:01:33,133 --> 00:01:35,501
No, I meant I just found
a Mickey Mantle baseball card.
35
00:01:35,502 --> 00:01:38,316
That's Mrs. Zimmerman's.
They have an arrangement.
36
00:01:41,629 --> 00:01:44,475
What are you doing? Thought you
were gonna fix my refrigerator.
37
00:01:44,476 --> 00:01:46,332
No, I just came for the beer.
38
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:48,987
Will that be enough?
Can I fix you some food?
39
00:01:48,988 --> 00:01:51,115
No, I'm good. I'm having dinner
in Apartment 5B.
40
00:01:51,116 --> 00:01:52,906
They're in Europe.
41
00:01:52,907 --> 00:01:55,531
By the way, Zimmerman is not
the only news in the building.
42
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,899
Rumor has it we have a lady
of the evening in residence.
43
00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:01,674
You know, a pro, a streetwalker,
a trollop, a harlot.
44
00:02:01,675 --> 00:02:03,914
How bad is this?
I'm talking dirty to myself.
45
00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:07,082
Thanks, John.
I'll see you later.
46
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,138
Wait a minute.
47
00:02:08,139 --> 00:02:09,866
You're with him?
48
00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:12,457
If your self-esteem is that low,
maybe you and I should talk.
49
00:02:12,458 --> 00:02:14,649
Bob, I had to come here
to put on my makeup
50
00:02:14,650 --> 00:02:16,058
because you never fixed
my lights.
51
00:02:16,059 --> 00:02:17,386
I'll get to it.
Right now.
52
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,617
You're coming with me.
53
00:02:18,618 --> 00:02:20,985
Whoa, whoa,
what about my refrigerator?
54
00:02:20,986 --> 00:02:23,512
Bob's policy is to handle jobs
on a priority basis.
55
00:02:23,513 --> 00:02:26,201
And how do her lights have
priority over my refrigerator?
56
00:02:26,202 --> 00:02:29,176
You saw that dress
and you really had to ask?
57
00:02:29,177 --> 00:02:30,408
Oh, and, Becker, by the way,
58
00:02:30,409 --> 00:02:32,248
keep your eyes open
for the hooker.
59
00:02:37,513 --> 00:02:39,783
(upbeat blues theme playing)
60
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,839
Mrs. Davis,
I am very, very sorry.
61
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,823
I have no idea
how this happened.
62
00:02:46,824 --> 00:02:49,127
Please accept my...
63
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,150
Linda.
64
00:02:54,151 --> 00:02:56,422
Why would you write this
on a patient's chart?
65
00:02:56,423 --> 00:02:57,702
What?
This!
66
00:02:57,703 --> 00:03:00,950
"Big ass, no chin."
67
00:03:00,951 --> 00:03:02,757
That's just so I'd remember.
68
00:03:02,758 --> 00:03:04,966
We have three patients
named Mary Davis,
69
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:08,069
and she's the one
with the big ass and no chin.
70
00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:11,797
Linda, she saw her chart
and was really hurt.
71
00:03:11,798 --> 00:03:14,036
Then why did you show it to her?
72
00:03:14,037 --> 00:03:17,333
My point is, I know Mrs. Davis
has a big ass and no chin.
73
00:03:17,334 --> 00:03:19,732
That is no reason to write it
on her chart!
74
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:20,948
I was going to come back,
75
00:03:20,949 --> 00:03:23,668
but I'm not going to be insulted
anymore.
76
00:03:25,365 --> 00:03:27,124
Way to go, Margaret.
77
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,843
Listen, can we please
pick this up tomorrow?
78
00:03:29,844 --> 00:03:31,844
My date will be here any minute.
79
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:32,852
Gil's out of jail?
80
00:03:32,853 --> 00:03:35,379
I'd better hide my purse.
81
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:37,699
Relax.
He's not out of jail.
82
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:41,202
Here's a tip,
never bitch-slap the warden.
83
00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:45,938
Anyway, I'm going out
with this new guy, Craig.
84
00:03:45,939 --> 00:03:49,010
I've been seeing him for a
couple of weeks. He's terrific.
85
00:03:50,627 --> 00:03:52,257
Hey, Linda. Ready?
86
00:03:52,258 --> 00:03:55,842
See? He's cute, has a great job
and no rap sheet.
87
00:03:55,843 --> 00:03:57,665
Craig, this is Margaret.
88
00:03:57,666 --> 00:03:59,089
Pleased to meet you.
89
00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:01,329
And thanks for letting Linda off
a little early.
90
00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:04,001
Wow, you're not at all
what I expected.
91
00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:05,632
From what Linda told me,
you're not...
92
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:06,688
Okay, time to go.
93
00:04:08,417 --> 00:04:10,225
Margaret,
where the hell is Mrs. Davis?
94
00:04:10,226 --> 00:04:13,248
Oh, uh, she left.
She was feeling sick.
95
00:04:13,249 --> 00:04:15,535
Too sick to stay
in a doctor's office?
96
00:04:15,536 --> 00:04:18,720
Oh, uh, maybe she was
just sick of waiting. I forget.
97
00:04:18,721 --> 00:04:21,088
Uh, did you see Linda's
boyfriend?
98
00:04:21,089 --> 00:04:23,071
That's Gil? Has it been
three to five already?
99
00:04:23,072 --> 00:04:24,959
No, that's not Gil.
100
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,895
That's a new one, Craig.
101
00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:28,991
Oh. Oh, he looks normal.
102
00:04:28,992 --> 00:04:30,094
And he acts normal too.
103
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:33,583
He said, "Pleased to meet you."
I heard him.
104
00:04:33,584 --> 00:04:35,214
Who... Who's up next?
105
00:04:35,215 --> 00:04:37,919
Mr. Jones in 2.
Which Mr. Jones?
106
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,654
Larry Jones, brown hair,
blue eyes.
107
00:04:40,654 --> 00:04:42,590
Doesn't ring a bell.
108
00:04:42,591 --> 00:04:44,557
Chicken neck, big ears.
109
00:04:44,558 --> 00:04:46,318
Oh, Mr. Jones.
110
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,062
(upbeat blues theme playing)
111
00:04:53,102 --> 00:04:54,765
Jake, it's Anita.
I'm taking a paper.
112
00:04:54,766 --> 00:04:56,749
No problem.
Can you change a hundred?
113
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,636
Not without a magic wand.
114
00:04:58,637 --> 00:05:00,141
I'll owe you.
115
00:05:00,142 --> 00:05:02,221
So how's business?
Always good.
116
00:05:02,222 --> 00:05:03,932
Even in a slow economy,
there are some things
117
00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:06,268
people just won't cut back on.
118
00:05:06,268 --> 00:05:08,027
God bless them.
Ha, ha.
119
00:05:09,548 --> 00:05:11,020
Morning, troops.
Hey, Bob.
120
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:13,036
Haven't seen you around.
You missed me, huh?
121
00:05:13,037 --> 00:05:15,371
No, just remembering
the good times.
122
00:05:15,372 --> 00:05:17,484
Well, Bob's been doing
a little detective work.
123
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,403
Seems there's a hooker living
in my building.
124
00:05:19,404 --> 00:05:21,323
How you doing, Anita?
125
00:05:21,324 --> 00:05:23,115
All right, Bob, I'll bite.
126
00:05:23,116 --> 00:05:25,211
Who is it?
I know I'm curious.
127
00:05:25,212 --> 00:05:26,986
You know, I thought I had it all
figured out
128
00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:29,434
when I ran into a tall,
buxom blond in the elevator.
129
00:05:29,435 --> 00:05:31,290
That's Mr. Zimmerman.
130
00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:33,945
Yeah, I know.
I found that out the hard way.
131
00:05:35,643 --> 00:05:37,017
Hey, Reggie,
can I get some coffee?
132
00:05:37,018 --> 00:05:39,705
Okay, but just coffee.
I'm shutting down for lunch.
133
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,705
So you do read
the suggestion box.
134
00:05:41,706 --> 00:05:44,601
Reg, you can't close now.
My business depends on yours.
135
00:05:44,602 --> 00:05:46,138
If you don't cook,
they don't eat.
136
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,481
If they don't eat,
what am I gonna do
137
00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:49,689
with six cases of Maalox?
138
00:05:50,442 --> 00:05:51,864
For your information,
139
00:05:51,864 --> 00:05:54,072
I'm closing because I've been
dating this new guy,
140
00:05:54,073 --> 00:05:55,736
and he's coming by to take me
for lunch.
141
00:05:55,737 --> 00:05:57,880
Wait until you meet him. He's...
Here we go.
142
00:05:57,881 --> 00:05:59,848
"Unlike any guy I've met."
JAKE: Mm-hm.
143
00:05:59,849 --> 00:06:01,335
"He's funny, he's sensitive."
144
00:06:01,336 --> 00:06:02,936
"He loves me for who I am."
145
00:06:02,937 --> 00:06:04,727
"He likes that I'm a strong
and independent woman."
146
00:06:04,728 --> 00:06:07,048
Mm.
Gee, I had no idea.
147
00:06:07,049 --> 00:06:09,831
Hope you two fellas
will be very happy together.
148
00:06:09,832 --> 00:06:11,975
No, we're teasing Reggie.
She's got a new boyfriend.
149
00:06:11,976 --> 00:06:14,215
Yeah, right. What else is new?
Ha, ha.
150
00:06:14,216 --> 00:06:16,263
BECKER: Can I get a
cheeseburger, please?
151
00:06:16,263 --> 00:06:18,726
Sorry, Becker,
I'm not serving lunch today.
152
00:06:18,727 --> 00:06:21,430
Oh, so you do read
the suggestion box.
153
00:06:21,431 --> 00:06:24,150
You know, I'm gonna stop talking
to you guys.
154
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:27,350
Wow, she really does read
the suggestion box.
155
00:06:27,351 --> 00:06:28,902
Oh, Craig, just in time.
156
00:06:28,903 --> 00:06:30,421
You ready?
Yeah.
157
00:06:30,422 --> 00:06:33,957
Oh. I'd introduce you, but, uh,
158
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,229
well, that would be rude.
159
00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:40,613
That's Craig?
160
00:06:40,614 --> 00:06:43,045
Oh, my God.
161
00:06:43,045 --> 00:06:45,460
Who's gay now?
162
00:06:48,149 --> 00:06:50,468
(upbeat blues theme playing)
163
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,484
Hi, I don't have an appointment,
164
00:06:54,485 --> 00:06:56,371
but I was hoping the doctor
could see me.
165
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,779
Um...
166
00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:59,940
Sure, I think we can fit you in,
Mr...?
167
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:04,835
B-I-G-N-O-Z-I, Bignozi.
168
00:07:04,836 --> 00:07:06,914
Okay, if you'll just wait
a moment, Mr. Bignozi,
169
00:07:06,915 --> 00:07:10,274
I'll start...
Oh, I am so sorry.
170
00:07:10,275 --> 00:07:13,282
It was bad enough that you were
writing on their charts.
171
00:07:13,283 --> 00:07:18,241
Now you're referring to patients
by their physical shortcomings?
172
00:07:18,242 --> 00:07:20,738
Again, I am so sorry, Mr., uh...
173
00:07:20,739 --> 00:07:22,401
Bignozi.
174
00:07:22,402 --> 00:07:24,065
That's my name.
175
00:07:24,066 --> 00:07:26,897
And frankly, I don't consider
my nose a shortcoming.
176
00:07:26,898 --> 00:07:29,089
Neither do I.
Until you mentioned it,
177
00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:32,848
I didn't even notice
how big it is. I mean...
178
00:07:33,778 --> 00:07:35,601
I mean...
179
00:07:35,602 --> 00:07:37,584
Uh, Linda will take you back.
180
00:07:37,585 --> 00:07:38,896
Right this way, sir.
181
00:07:40,705 --> 00:07:43,088
Sorry. Sometimes she can be so
insensitive.
182
00:07:43,089 --> 00:07:44,495
Hmm.
183
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:47,584
Margaret, my office, now.
184
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,007
Please?
185
00:07:53,008 --> 00:07:54,894
That's better.
186
00:07:57,375 --> 00:07:58,623
Yes?
187
00:07:58,624 --> 00:07:59,934
Margaret, I need you
to call the lab
188
00:07:59,935 --> 00:08:01,502
about Mrs. Waverley's
blood test.
189
00:08:01,503 --> 00:08:04,190
Then call Medicare
about those late payments.
190
00:08:04,191 --> 00:08:06,462
Oh, and then I need you
to tell Reggie and Linda
191
00:08:06,463 --> 00:08:07,614
they're dating the same guy.
192
00:08:07,615 --> 00:08:09,246
Okay, thanks a lot.
Oh. Ah-ah.
193
00:08:09,247 --> 00:08:10,573
Get back in here.
194
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,502
That is terrible.
How did you find out?
195
00:08:13,503 --> 00:08:15,677
Oh, wrong place, wrong time.
196
00:08:15,678 --> 00:08:18,877
Anyway, uh, handle it. You know,
j-just break it to them gently.
197
00:08:18,878 --> 00:08:21,085
Yeah, and don't make a day of it
because we're busy.
198
00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:24,429
Uh-uh. You found out,
you tell them.
199
00:08:24,430 --> 00:08:26,061
Oh, hey, listen,
you don't understand.
200
00:08:26,062 --> 00:08:27,021
Every time I get involved
201
00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:28,460
in other people's personal
business,
202
00:08:28,461 --> 00:08:29,996
it ends up biting me in the ass.
203
00:08:29,997 --> 00:08:32,268
John, you have to tell them.
They're your friends.
204
00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:34,780
They're not my friends. One
works for me, one cooks for me.
205
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:36,188
And believe me, you know,
206
00:08:36,189 --> 00:08:38,268
I'm being generous
on both counts.
207
00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:40,203
John.
Oh, you...
208
00:08:40,204 --> 00:08:41,627
All right, actually,
you know what,
209
00:08:41,628 --> 00:08:43,194
you know,
forget I said anything.
210
00:08:43,195 --> 00:08:45,243
You know,
maybe they don't need to know.
211
00:08:45,244 --> 00:08:47,883
Of course they need to know.
They would want to know.
212
00:08:47,884 --> 00:08:49,610
Fine, then you tell them.
213
00:08:49,611 --> 00:08:51,035
All right, sure,
I'll be glad to.
214
00:08:51,036 --> 00:08:53,626
But if I do, they're gonna
wanna know how I knew.
215
00:08:53,627 --> 00:08:55,386
And I'm gonna have to tell them
the truth,
216
00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:56,859
which is that you told me.
217
00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:58,522
And then,
they're gonna be real mad
218
00:08:58,523 --> 00:09:00,538
that you knew and you told me
instead of them.
219
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,522
So actually,
by not telling them,
220
00:09:02,523 --> 00:09:05,081
I am doing you a favor.
221
00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:08,938
You just made that up off the
top of your head, didn't you?
222
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,794
And it came out a lot better
than I expected.
223
00:09:10,794 --> 00:09:12,137
Good luck.
224
00:09:12,138 --> 00:09:14,297
(upbeat blues theme playing)
225
00:09:21,225 --> 00:09:23,048
(sighs)
226
00:09:25,305 --> 00:09:26,872
Hey, Jake.
Hey, John.
227
00:09:26,873 --> 00:09:28,344
Let me ask you something.
228
00:09:28,345 --> 00:09:30,455
If someone you knew
was in a relationship,
229
00:09:30,456 --> 00:09:32,311
and you knew the person
they were seeing
230
00:09:32,312 --> 00:09:33,559
was being unfaithful,
231
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,800
do you really think
they would wanna know?
232
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,191
Oh, my God.
233
00:09:37,192 --> 00:09:39,078
Angela is cheating on me.
234
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,998
Man, I knew I couldn't trust
that woman.
235
00:09:40,999 --> 00:09:42,919
Who the hell's Angela?
The girl I've been seeing.
236
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,559
I thought you were seeing Karen.
I'm seeing Karen too.
237
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,158
So you're cheating on Angela?
238
00:09:47,159 --> 00:09:48,662
Why are you taking Angela's
side?
239
00:09:48,663 --> 00:09:50,311
I'm not taking anybody's side.
Listen, John,
240
00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:53,477
um, in case they should come in,
now Karen knows about Angela,
241
00:09:53,478 --> 00:09:56,390
but Angela doesn't know about
Karen. So, uh, cover for me?
242
00:09:56,390 --> 00:09:57,477
You're on your own, pal.
243
00:09:57,478 --> 00:09:58,821
You know,
I don't care about Karen.
244
00:09:58,822 --> 00:10:00,102
I don't care about Angela.
245
00:10:00,103 --> 00:10:01,141
Hey, a little respect.
246
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,901
You're talking about the women
I love.
247
00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:08,949
Hey, Anita,
let me ask you something.
248
00:10:08,950 --> 00:10:11,124
You date men outside the job,
right?
249
00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:13,876
Sure. Though, when you take
the money out of a relationship,
250
00:10:13,877 --> 00:10:15,924
it can get pretty weird.
251
00:10:15,925 --> 00:10:18,916
Yeah, be that as it may,
if you were seeing some guy,
252
00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:22,020
and he was seeing someone else,
would you really wanna know?
253
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,459
Depends.
254
00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:26,243
If I don't care about him,
no, I don't need to know.
255
00:10:26,244 --> 00:10:28,547
If I care a little,
I don't care.
256
00:10:28,547 --> 00:10:30,306
If I care a lot, I want to know.
257
00:10:30,307 --> 00:10:33,731
If I care a whole lot,
I don't wanna know.
258
00:10:33,732 --> 00:10:34,882
Does that help?
259
00:10:34,883 --> 00:10:37,010
How could it possibly help?
260
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,002
Hey, Reg, coffee, please.
Ha, ha.
261
00:10:42,003 --> 00:10:43,410
Oh, in a minute, Becker.
262
00:10:43,411 --> 00:10:46,738
So anyway, this guy
that I'm dating is really hot.
263
00:10:46,739 --> 00:10:48,881
Oh, so is mine.
So, what does your guy do?
264
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,449
He works on Wall Street.
265
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,880
So does mine.
That's amazing.
266
00:10:52,881 --> 00:10:55,026
Yeah, yeah, yeah, amazing.
267
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,744
So, what does your guy
look like?
268
00:10:57,745 --> 00:11:02,208
He's tall, great-looking,
and has an incredible body.
269
00:11:02,209 --> 00:11:03,728
Mine too.
270
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,544
Oh, and he drives
this great BMW.
271
00:11:06,545 --> 00:11:09,567
You're kidding.
So does mine.
272
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:11,792
What are the odds, huh, Becker?
273
00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:14,351
A million-to-1.
274
00:11:14,352 --> 00:11:15,951
Say,
let me ask you something, Reg.
275
00:11:15,952 --> 00:11:18,831
What's... What's the name
of the guy you're going with?
276
00:11:18,832 --> 00:11:21,552
Craig.
Your boyfriend's name is Craig?
277
00:11:21,552 --> 00:11:23,247
Mine too.
278
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,462
Hey, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
279
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,438
We should all have dinner
together?
280
00:11:31,439 --> 00:11:32,894
Exactly.
Yes...
281
00:11:32,895 --> 00:11:35,262
Oh, for God's sake. Don't you
see what's going on here?
282
00:11:35,263 --> 00:11:37,486
You're both dating
a guy named Craig,
283
00:11:37,487 --> 00:11:40,557
who works on Wall Street
and drives a BMW.
284
00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:44,621
How stupid can you be?
You're both seeing the same guy!
285
00:11:44,622 --> 00:11:46,510
LINDA & REGGIE:
What?
286
00:11:48,143 --> 00:11:50,317
I thought you should know.
287
00:11:56,302 --> 00:11:58,604
(upbeat blues theme playing)
288
00:12:00,877 --> 00:12:03,580
We're dating the same guy?
How do you know?
289
00:12:03,581 --> 00:12:05,595
How could I help but know?
I saw him with both of you.
290
00:12:05,596 --> 00:12:08,507
This guy Craig
is everywhere I go.
291
00:12:08,508 --> 00:12:11,212
I can't believe this. He told me
I was the love of his life.
292
00:12:11,213 --> 00:12:12,906
That's what he told me.
293
00:12:12,907 --> 00:12:15,547
Gee, do you think
he might have been lying?
294
00:12:15,548 --> 00:12:17,547
I just don't believe
this is happening.
295
00:12:17,547 --> 00:12:19,818
When I think of the parade
of freaks that I've dated,
296
00:12:19,819 --> 00:12:22,410
and then I finally meet a guy
who is handsome
297
00:12:22,411 --> 00:12:25,931
and funny and successful,
and he's dating someone else.
298
00:12:25,932 --> 00:12:27,690
Oh, I'm such a loser.
299
00:12:27,690 --> 00:12:29,082
You? I'm the loser.
300
00:12:29,083 --> 00:12:30,905
Do you know how long it's been
since I've dated a guy
301
00:12:30,906 --> 00:12:33,402
who's allowed to cross
state lines?
302
00:12:33,403 --> 00:12:35,081
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on, come on,
303
00:12:35,082 --> 00:12:36,697
l-l-let's be fair.
304
00:12:36,698 --> 00:12:38,425
You're both losers.
305
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,824
But it's just because you're
both desperate, gullible women
306
00:12:42,825 --> 00:12:44,008
with lousy taste in men.
307
00:12:44,009 --> 00:12:45,992
Now can I have some coffee,
please?
308
00:12:45,993 --> 00:12:48,056
How can you be so insensitive?
309
00:12:48,057 --> 00:12:50,296
Me, insensitive?
What about Craig?
310
00:12:50,297 --> 00:12:51,544
Oh, don't put this on Craig.
311
00:12:51,545 --> 00:12:53,304
You're the one who loves
to spread misery.
312
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,863
I'll bet you couldn't wait
to come here and tell us.
313
00:12:55,864 --> 00:12:57,495
Not true. I waited a whole day.
314
00:12:57,496 --> 00:12:59,591
You knew a whole day,
and you didn't tell us?
315
00:12:59,591 --> 00:13:00,983
L... No, I've been agonizing
over this.
316
00:13:00,984 --> 00:13:03,990
I talked to Margaret, I talked
to Jake, I talked to Anita...
317
00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,670
Oh, so you told everyone but us?
318
00:13:05,671 --> 00:13:07,111
I told you just now.
319
00:13:07,112 --> 00:13:09,799
Yeah, because you ran out
of other people to tell.
320
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,518
Yeah, Dr. Becker, thanks.
321
00:13:12,519 --> 00:13:15,783
Oh, Jake,
why do I even open my mouth?
322
00:13:15,784 --> 00:13:18,853
You know, John, for a change,
it's nice to hear you say that.
323
00:13:21,255 --> 00:13:23,877
(upbeat blues theme playing)
324
00:13:27,463 --> 00:13:28,805
What the hell
are you doing here?
325
00:13:28,806 --> 00:13:30,149
Landing the space shuttle.
326
00:13:30,150 --> 00:13:32,645
What do you think I'm doing?
I'm making a pit stop.
327
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,004
Your office is conveniently
located
328
00:13:34,005 --> 00:13:36,020
halfway between the apartment
and the diner.
329
00:13:36,021 --> 00:13:38,101
Yeah, next time,
go someplace else, will you?
330
00:13:38,102 --> 00:13:39,828
My office is not a toilet.
331
00:13:39,829 --> 00:13:40,964
Yeah, if you say so.
332
00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:42,276
(sniffs)
333
00:13:42,277 --> 00:13:43,588
Oh, and by the way,
334
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,860
I think I'm making some
headway on the hooker situation.
335
00:13:45,861 --> 00:13:48,164
I'm narrowing it down. My dark
horse is old Mrs. Feldheim.
336
00:13:48,165 --> 00:13:50,803
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Mrs. Feldheim's not a hooker.
337
00:13:50,804 --> 00:13:52,307
I know she doesn't fit
the usual profile,
338
00:13:52,308 --> 00:13:53,716
but you don't wear out two hips
339
00:13:53,717 --> 00:13:56,275
without doing something dirty.
I'll keep you posted.
340
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,450
Oh, hey, Margaret, thanks a lot.
341
00:13:58,451 --> 00:14:00,130
Yeah, I took your advice
last night,
342
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,035
and I told Reggie and Linda
about Craig.
343
00:14:02,036 --> 00:14:03,394
How did they take it?
344
00:14:03,395 --> 00:14:06,082
Yeah, would you like to see
the bite marks on my ass?
345
00:14:06,083 --> 00:14:09,762
John, I ride the subway to work.
I get that offer every day.
346
00:14:09,763 --> 00:14:12,418
Yeah, well, I should've stayed
out of it like I wanted to.
347
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,322
But, hey, you know what?
Not my problem anymore.
348
00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:15,441
You know, it's over.
349
00:14:15,442 --> 00:14:17,041
Everything's back the way
I like it.
350
00:14:17,042 --> 00:14:19,202
Where you're totally ignorant
of everything?
351
00:14:19,203 --> 00:14:21,409
Hey, it works for the president.
352
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,777
Listen, Dr. Becker,
about yesterday...
353
00:14:25,778 --> 00:14:26,864
Yeah, look, Linda, it's over.
354
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,529
I really don't wanna talk
about it.
355
00:14:28,530 --> 00:14:30,385
Well, actually,
I just wanted to thank you.
356
00:14:30,385 --> 00:14:32,688
It turns out you did me a favor.
Whatever.
357
00:14:32,689 --> 00:14:33,872
Craig and I are gonna
stay together.
358
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,143
In fact, we're going out
tonight to celebrate.
359
00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:38,656
I don't wanna know.
Aren't you even listening to me?
360
00:14:38,657 --> 00:14:41,199
That's very true. See...
361
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,976
Craig really wanted to be
with me,
362
00:14:42,977 --> 00:14:45,471
but he didn't have the heart
to break up with Reggie.
363
00:14:45,472 --> 00:14:47,295
I still don't wanna know.
I mean, I feel bad for her
364
00:14:47,296 --> 00:14:50,575
and stuff, because, you know,
we're all sisters.
365
00:14:50,576 --> 00:14:53,342
But, uh, I feel extra happy
that Craig chose me because,
366
00:14:53,343 --> 00:14:55,102
well, I won.
367
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,254
Oh.
368
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,830
Got a minute, Becker?
369
00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:02,398
What are you doing here?
370
00:15:02,399 --> 00:15:03,870
Well, I brought you
a club sandwich.
371
00:15:03,871 --> 00:15:06,254
You know, just the way
you like it.
372
00:15:06,255 --> 00:15:08,269
From the deli down the street?
373
00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:10,461
Yeah.
374
00:15:10,462 --> 00:15:12,701
Wait a minute. Why?
375
00:15:12,702 --> 00:15:14,893
Well, I kind of bit your head
off yesterday.
376
00:15:14,894 --> 00:15:17,197
But it turns out you ended up
doing me a favor.
377
00:15:17,198 --> 00:15:19,020
It gave Craig a chance
to break up with Linda
378
00:15:19,021 --> 00:15:20,940
because he really wanted
to be with me.
379
00:15:22,605 --> 00:15:25,868
So you're still dating Craig?
Wha...?
380
00:15:25,869 --> 00:15:29,307
Oh, you have no idea how much
I don't wanna know this.
381
00:15:29,308 --> 00:15:31,996
Oh, I understand.
You have to work with Linda.
382
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:34,619
It's just, thanks to you,
I have Craig all to myself.
383
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,203
In fact, we're gonna go out
and celebrate.
384
00:15:36,204 --> 00:15:37,723
Yeah, but not tonight, right?
385
00:15:37,724 --> 00:15:39,547
No, he's gotta go see his mom
in Jersey.
386
00:15:39,548 --> 00:15:40,987
Ah.
387
00:15:40,988 --> 00:15:44,682
It seems like he visits her
practically every other night.
388
00:15:45,964 --> 00:15:47,290
Isn't he just the best?
389
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:49,850
Yeah, yeah, at what he does,
he's the best.
390
00:15:51,371 --> 00:15:52,410
Well, thanks again, Becker.
391
00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:54,490
(groans)
392
00:15:54,491 --> 00:15:58,329
Why the hell can't people
just shut up?
393
00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:00,282
Yeah, Margaret, get in here.
394
00:16:00,283 --> 00:16:02,521
I need to talk to you.
395
00:16:02,522 --> 00:16:04,408
Please?
396
00:16:05,562 --> 00:16:07,352
Yeah, you're not gonna believe
this.
397
00:16:07,353 --> 00:16:09,417
Reggie and Linda
are both dating Craig again.
398
00:16:09,418 --> 00:16:11,096
Shut the door, will you?
399
00:16:11,097 --> 00:16:14,104
He's got them both convinced
that he dumped the other one.
400
00:16:14,105 --> 00:16:16,487
Damn, he's good.
You're telling me.
401
00:16:16,488 --> 00:16:17,913
I can't even get
a cleaning lady,
402
00:16:17,913 --> 00:16:19,448
this guy has got every woman
in the Bronx.
403
00:16:19,449 --> 00:16:21,016
Well, then you have got
to tell them.
404
00:16:21,017 --> 00:16:23,431
No, no, that's how we got in
this mess in the first place.
405
00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:24,807
You've gotta tell them.
406
00:16:24,807 --> 00:16:27,352
John, I am not gonna do
someone else's dirty work.
407
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,591
It would be different
if I knew it myself,
408
00:16:29,592 --> 00:16:31,191
then it would be
first-hand knowledge.
409
00:16:31,192 --> 00:16:34,103
But as it stands,
all I have is gossip.
410
00:16:35,288 --> 00:16:37,718
You... You just made that up too,
didn't you?
411
00:16:37,719 --> 00:16:39,654
No, I was prepared this time.
412
00:16:40,711 --> 00:16:42,406
Margaret...
No, John Becker.
413
00:16:42,407 --> 00:16:44,087
Oh.
414
00:16:44,088 --> 00:16:46,805
Hey, Dr. Becker, could I leave
a little early? I've got a date.
415
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,502
Whatever.
Just don't talk to me anymore.
416
00:16:48,503 --> 00:16:51,318
(phone rings)
417
00:16:51,319 --> 00:16:53,174
Doctor's office.
418
00:16:53,175 --> 00:16:56,437
Hold on. Linda, Craig Brettler's
on the phone.
419
00:16:56,438 --> 00:16:59,557
Oh, tell him I'm on my way.
And that I love him.
420
00:16:59,558 --> 00:17:01,541
She left.
421
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:06,661
Did she say she was meeting
Craig Brettler?
422
00:17:06,662 --> 00:17:08,837
Yeah, she's dating him.
423
00:17:08,837 --> 00:17:10,436
Oh, no.
424
00:17:10,437 --> 00:17:13,027
Oh, don't tell me
you're seeing him too.
425
00:17:13,028 --> 00:17:15,667
Of course not.
I don't date married men.
426
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,508
He's married?
Oh, yeah.
427
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:21,602
Linda, Reggie,
and he's got a wife?
428
00:17:21,603 --> 00:17:24,739
I mean, how much abuse
does one guy need?
429
00:17:27,156 --> 00:17:29,154
Oh, hey, ho, ho, ho,
come back here.
430
00:17:29,155 --> 00:17:31,698
Whoa, ho, ho. We both heard that
at the same time.
431
00:17:31,699 --> 00:17:32,898
That means we have
the same information.
432
00:17:32,899 --> 00:17:35,314
No, but it's the person who's
the closest to the source...
433
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:38,338
No, forget it, forget it,
forget it. Don't even go there.
434
00:17:38,339 --> 00:17:39,522
Tag, you're it.
435
00:17:39,523 --> 00:17:40,578
(sighs)
436
00:17:44,642 --> 00:17:47,185
(upbeat blues theme playing)
437
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:50,817
Hey, Jake.
438
00:17:50,818 --> 00:17:52,928
So have you found
your lady of the evening yet?
439
00:17:52,929 --> 00:17:55,169
No. And talk about guessing
wrong.
440
00:17:55,170 --> 00:17:56,896
I was up in Mrs. Feldheim's
place
441
00:17:56,897 --> 00:17:58,272
working on her closet door
442
00:17:58,273 --> 00:18:01,376
when she walks in wearing
a house dress, open in the back.
443
00:18:01,377 --> 00:18:04,320
Says she has a little arthritis,
and could I zip her up.
444
00:18:04,321 --> 00:18:06,176
So?
So...
445
00:18:06,177 --> 00:18:08,575
Arthritis? Zip her up?
446
00:18:08,576 --> 00:18:10,816
Bob knows a come-on
when he hears one.
447
00:18:11,616 --> 00:18:13,951
So I ask her how much.
448
00:18:13,952 --> 00:18:16,479
And let's just say,
for a lady with a fake hip,
449
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,951
she can really swing that knee.
450
00:18:17,952 --> 00:18:19,391
(chuckles)
451
00:18:19,392 --> 00:18:21,614
I'm telling you, Jake, I've
gotta know who the hooker is.
452
00:18:21,615 --> 00:18:22,830
I'm racking my brain.
453
00:18:22,831 --> 00:18:25,390
Yeah, I thought I heard
a marble rolling around.
454
00:18:26,990 --> 00:18:28,622
Wait a minute.
455
00:18:28,623 --> 00:18:31,662
The answer's been sitting right
in front of me the whole time.
456
00:18:31,662 --> 00:18:33,725
Anita.
457
00:18:33,726 --> 00:18:34,845
You're around the building
a lot.
458
00:18:34,846 --> 00:18:36,317
Do you know who the hooker is?
459
00:18:37,566 --> 00:18:39,613
Bob, think about it.
460
00:18:39,614 --> 00:18:41,789
I sleep all day,
I'm out all night.
461
00:18:41,790 --> 00:18:43,260
And it's not unusual for me
462
00:18:43,261 --> 00:18:45,117
to have two or three dates
an evening.
463
00:18:45,118 --> 00:18:46,252
Okay, okay, I get it.
464
00:18:46,253 --> 00:18:49,517
You're too busy to help me.
I'll do it alone.
465
00:18:49,517 --> 00:18:51,276
Is he for real?
466
00:18:51,277 --> 00:18:52,972
Who would fake that?
467
00:18:55,277 --> 00:18:58,475
REGGIE: Sometimes I feel like I'm
the biggest sucker in the world.
468
00:18:58,476 --> 00:18:59,916
I'm the one who's too easy.
469
00:18:59,917 --> 00:19:02,987
I always fall for a smooth
talker.
470
00:19:02,988 --> 00:19:05,419
Oh, hey, Becker, coffee?
471
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:08,522
Yeah, thank you.
So you guys are all right, huh?
472
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,442
Oh, yeah.
We're fine.
473
00:19:10,443 --> 00:19:12,187
Oh, good. 'Cause when I heard
474
00:19:12,187 --> 00:19:14,090
that you were both still dating
Craig...
475
00:19:14,091 --> 00:19:17,049
You're still dating him?
You're still dating him?
476
00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:19,355
W-wait, didn't Margaret tell you
that he's married?
477
00:19:19,356 --> 00:19:20,218
He's married?
478
00:19:20,219 --> 00:19:22,186
Who cares?
You're still dating him?
479
00:19:22,187 --> 00:19:24,186
Wasn't that what you were both
just talking about?
480
00:19:24,187 --> 00:19:26,873
How you're a big sucker
and you're too easy?
481
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,456
We were talking about the kid
who came in
482
00:19:28,457 --> 00:19:31,865
and sold us a bunch
of magazine subscriptions.
483
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,641
Oh.
484
00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:35,529
You guys doing something
different with your hair?
485
00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:36,936
It's... It's fabulous.
486
00:19:36,937 --> 00:19:40,008
If you knew Craig was married,
why didn't you tell us?
487
00:19:40,009 --> 00:19:41,464
How could you not say something?
488
00:19:41,465 --> 00:19:43,975
What? You gonna try to turn this
on me again? I don't think so.
489
00:19:43,976 --> 00:19:45,895
Look, let... Let's get something
straight.
490
00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:47,912
In the future,
I don't wanna know anything.
491
00:19:47,913 --> 00:19:50,663
If either of you have any
secrets, I don't wanna know.
492
00:19:50,664 --> 00:19:52,487
If either of you think
they have something
493
00:19:52,488 --> 00:19:54,407
that I might like to know,
I don't wanna know.
494
00:19:54,408 --> 00:19:57,543
In fact, if anything happens
to anybody, anyplace, any time,
495
00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:00,006
please don't tell me,
because as I may have mentioned,
496
00:20:00,007 --> 00:20:01,990
I don't want to know.
497
00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:03,879
You know whose fault this is?
498
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,366
When you come right down to it,
499
00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:07,286
it's Margaret,
that bigmouthed busybody.
500
00:20:07,287 --> 00:20:08,790
You know, she just...
501
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:11,030
She's the one who told me to get
involved in the first place.
502
00:20:11,031 --> 00:20:13,238
She's really brave when she's
pushing other people around,
503
00:20:13,239 --> 00:20:15,381
but, you know, when it's her
turn to tell you something,
504
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:16,630
where the hell is she?
505
00:20:16,631 --> 00:20:18,773
Right behind you.
506
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:24,133
Now that I would have liked
to have known.
507
00:20:25,813 --> 00:20:27,940
(upbeat blues theme playing)
508
00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:32,884
(upbeat blues theme playing)
509
00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:37,484
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