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[narrator] Michael Bluth was starting
his new life in, get this, Beverly Hills.
2
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,441
Your office is only one floor
below Ron Howard's.
3
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,859
[narrator] It was true.
4
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,403
When iconic producer Ron Howard
5
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:31,990
offered to make Michael a producer
in a movie about his family...
6
00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:32,950
Them?
7
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,618
[narrator] Michael had a problem.
8
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,079
We need everybody's signatures
on these releases to make this story.
9
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,499
Although the real heartbeat of the thing
is the father-son dynamic.
10
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,960
[narrator] But he had fallen out of touch
with his father.
11
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:47,339
So Michael was about to give up,
when something changed his mind.
12
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,674
I'm a movie producer.
13
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:52,803
[narrator] He was starting his first day
without the signature he needed.
14
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,889
Yeah? Must be a pretty important project
to him then, huh?
15
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,183
That's one possibility.
16
00:00:59,017 --> 00:00:59,977
Watch your head.
17
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,063
Are these ceilings a little lower?
18
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,440
Brian and Ron wanted the ceiling
in their office
19
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,067
to be a few inches taller,
20
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,152
but apparently, Bruckheimer knows someone
on city council,
21
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,071
and they wouldn't let them
make the building taller.
22
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,617
So Ron said, "F you, Jerry,"
and he went lower with his floor.
23
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:16,910
Everybody wins, huh?
24
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,620
-Here we are.
-Oh!
25
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:19,830
That's me, huh?
26
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,249
Wow. Ceilings are even lower in here.
27
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,835
Yeah, your office is right below Brian's.
28
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:28,171
He wanted his ceiling
just a few inches taller than Ron's.
29
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,965
-Okay.
-Some internal competition.
30
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,466
Kind of like between us.
31
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:32,634
Yeah... Wait, what?
32
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,678
Well, you have a family to track down.
33
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,722
Yeah, I do. Hey, speaking of that...
34
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:41,435
Kitty, is there a directory of actresses
with pictures in it--
35
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,062
Wow.
Starting with the casting couch already.
36
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,606
No. Nothing like that.
37
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,232
I met this unbelievable woman
38
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,067
that would be perfect
for the part of my wife.
39
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,110
It was really nice to meet you.
40
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,653
[narrator]
And he failed to get her name.
41
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:54,865
♪ Hey, I met a girl today
And her name is... .♪
42
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:55,866
[bleeps]
43
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,201
Even if she isn't,
I'd love to track her down,
44
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,704
so an actual couch
could be useful, please.
45
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:01,830
Okay, you're funny.
46
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:05,667
This is Imagine Entertainment,
not the hot tub at Bruckheimer Tower.
47
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,002
We make family movies.
48
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,755
-You [bleeps] pig.
-Okay.
49
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:13,842
[narrator] Ironically,
the woman he was looking for was family.
50
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:17,846
She was Ron's illegitimate daughter,
a fact unbeknownst to many.
51
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:19,514
We like to keep that quiet.
52
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:23,644
[narrator] A woman who
like Bryce Dallas and Paige Carlyle,
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00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,396
was named after where she was conceived.
54
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:30,108
And she actually had worked
for some A-list directors.
55
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,110
She did a Terrence Malick.
56
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,695
[Rebel Alley] Are we the same?
57
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,365
[narrator]
She got the lead in a Woody Allen film.
58
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:40,410
...I felt like I was in The Iceman Cometh,
but, you know, in my case, he faketh.
59
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,080
[narrator] And was once even directed
by her own father...
60
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,458
Next time, don't pocket it, pay for it.
61
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,002
Shoplifting. Not cool.
62
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,213
[narrator] In a public service
announcement,
63
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,881
which like all of Ron's work...
64
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,049
I think we got it.
65
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,301
[narrator]
was inspired by a photograph.
66
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,845
Rebel had indeed been a rebel.
67
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,972
But Michael didn't know any of this.
68
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:04,851
Why don't you not worry about casting
and just get the rights to your family?
69
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,354
If you need any help,
I would love to help you.
70
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,523
-We like to pull together around here.
-Watch your back.
71
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,483
No, you watch your back, mister!
72
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,151
If you screw up this project for me,
73
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:15,195
I will bury you
farther underground
74
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,406
than I did your
illiterate little niece.
75
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,741
-Hi, guys.
-Ma'am.
76
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,542
[narrator] Now the story of what happened
77
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,920
when the one man
who was holding his family together
78
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:33,922
finally let go
79
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:37,134
and the separate journeys
that eventually gave them no choice
80
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:38,927
but to come back together.
81
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,887
It's Arrested Development...
82
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,681
Fateful Consequences.
83
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,356
Michael knew the only way
he could be a producer
84
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,024
and impress an actress,
85
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:57,988
was to get a signature from a father
whose face he hadn't seen in ages,
86
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,407
and that's when he suddenly did.
87
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,534
-[Lucille] We have to keep this quiet.
-Dad?
88
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,619
No, no.
89
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,622
-Hi.
-[Lucille] Don't say I'm down here.
90
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,708
-Right here.
-Hey.
91
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,042
What's going on?
92
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,004
-I just came back to get--
-[woman] Don't acknowledge me.
93
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,756
get some suits, you know,
94
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:20,927
so I can look like the uptight,
dishonest, cheating boob that I am.
95
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,971
Well, I never said "boob."
96
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,683
Although you are
in the wrong Lucille's apartment, so...
97
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,728
unless you're after a Bob Mackie original,
could be some truth to the cheating part.
98
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:33,190
Yeah, well, I was in the desert,
and I've lost my sense of direction.
99
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,192
-[clears throat]
-Hey. Where you going? Dad.
100
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,488
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen.
101
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,991
You're getting divorced.
I am not one to judge.
102
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,662
Great to see you again.
The past is the past.
103
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,164
Things have worked out,
104
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,041
and I've met
a wonderful woman named...
105
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,794
Well, don't worry about that.
I'm a movie producer now.
106
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:55,670
Unbelievable.
107
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,256
Making a movie out of my life.
108
00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,342
The girl I met is perfect to play my wife.
109
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:04,262
And I don't know. Can you believe it?
And I know what you're thinking.
110
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,556
-"Can you put me in it?"
-I don't care.
111
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,891
Do I have it?
112
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,811
Anybody who's getting in the movie needs
to sign this.
113
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,187
It's a simple signature.
114
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,649
I think that everybody needs to see
the real George Sr., don't you?
115
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:20,028
I think it would all depend
on how George Sr. was portrayed.
116
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:26,451
Well, he is not
the most positive character, but...
117
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:27,702
[pen clicks]
118
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:32,499
You sign this and I don't see any reason
why we can't make him seem very, very...
119
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,626
You know...
120
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,338
Uh...
121
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,924
Uh...
122
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,933
-Nice. Huh?
-Go to hell.
123
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,936
[narrator] It was an insulting comment
to hear from a father.
124
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:53,937
You go to hell!
125
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,355
[narrator] But unbeknownst to Michael,
126
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,358
he had just heard it
from his father's twin brother.
127
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,694
His father was having his own problem,
128
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,405
having just discovered
that the land he bought
129
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,823
to build a border wall on...
130
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,992
No. Mexico starts back there,
by the gully.
131
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,326
[narrator]
was both worthless...
132
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,412
...probably chomping on the maca.
133
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:11,830
[narrator] and in Mexico.
134
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,916
How did you not notice?
You saw all the papers.
135
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,627
You can't expect me to read
every page of that deal.
136
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,754
Besides, that one was
particularly difficult
137
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,214
because it was all in Spanish.
138
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:25,719
It says very clearly on my business card,
"Se habla español."
139
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,429
I do not speak Spanish.
140
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,140
And your brother Oscar
told me it was on the border.
141
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,474
How did he not know?
142
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,269
[narrator]
Unfortunately, Oscar missed the signs.
143
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,563
You think it's okay to burn these?
144
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,522
This is America.
145
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,026
They don't want us to burn signs,
they shouldn't write them in Spanish.
146
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,319
Everybody.
147
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,654
♪ Sign, sign, everywhere a sign ♪
148
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,365
[narrator] Only Heartfire knew the truth,
149
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,869
but the singing was so loud,
no one could hear her thoughts.
150
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,914
...and I don't know where Oscar is.
He's disappeared.
151
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:58,001
And there is something up with him
because he is scary now.
152
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,544
He has changed.
153
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,421
Hey, you've changed, you big [bleeps]
154
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,215
You're acting like a little girl lately
and not in a good way.
155
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,134
Pull yourself together.
Act like a man.
156
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:09,679
-You're right. Okay, love you.
-Love you, too. Bye.
157
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,431
I'm back.
158
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:14,726
[narrator]
So George Sr. headed up to see Lucille
159
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,603
and share all the bad news.
160
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,356
[Lucille] I know what you're coming up
to do to me.
161
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,859
-What?
-Yesterday, you were amazing.
162
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:26,863
[narrator] Actually, it was Oscar, who,
like one of GOB's sick bees,
163
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,824
was pollinating
one barren flower after another.
164
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,493
I can't stop thinking about it.
165
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,787
You haven't been like that in years.
166
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,915
Oh, right. You mean, slow-witted?
167
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,210
I hope you're ready
for more of the same today.
168
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,836
[growls]
169
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,880
[whimpers]
170
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,840
[narrator]
George Sr. had a few problems.
171
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,051
His brother was sleeping with his wife,
172
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,514
the property he was going to sell
to the government to build the US wall on
173
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,015
was in Mexico,
174
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:57,018
and his sweat lodge colony
had just collapsed.
175
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,646
So he had to deal with first things first.
176
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,149
If my identical twin brother
can get it up, then shouldn't I?
177
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,111
Have you had any sexual feeling
at all lately?
178
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,028
No.
179
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:10,156
You know, the Hopi Indians
believed that this spot here,
180
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,159
when manipulated,
can create sexual feeling.
181
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:16,246
-That's my penis.
-You don't have to tell me. Nothing?
182
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:20,000
No, just a little curiosity as to why
you're checking your second hand.
183
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,459
Oh, this isn't my office.
184
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,713
You know, I don't get it.
I've been popping the pills,
185
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,339
and I mean, nothing!
186
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,467
-Are you under any pressure?
-Oh, no. Nothing out of the ordinary.
187
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,886
I mean,
there's some violating federal law stuff
188
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,264
that'd put me in prison
for the rest of my life,
189
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,183
but I've made love
with treason charges over me before.
190
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,603
No, it's something else.
It's not just the sex. I feel...
191
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,399
I feel wrong...
192
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,151
somehow.
193
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,113
And I'm becoming weak.
194
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,367
Sorry, had the old thinking cap on.
195
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:55,785
Let's go to the lists.
196
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,413
[narrator] And Dr. Norman proceeded
to run through a checklist
197
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,081
of alternative medicine questions.
198
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,625
Did you drink some water that might have
a homeopathic memory of some molecule?
199
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,211
Do you keep track
of the molecules you ingest?
200
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,214
With homeopathy,
it's the molecules you don't ingest.
201
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,301
But I'm the one who can get hard,
so let's focus on you.
202
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:14,304
[narrator] He then went on
to explore some supernatural
203
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,765
or high-concept premise possibilities.
204
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,309
-Any earthquakes in a Chinese restaurant?
-No.
205
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,144
Any wishes you may have phrased badly,
206
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,271
or while a child was blowing out a candle?
207
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,148
Have you come
across any ancient games,
208
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:29,360
let's say, glowing games,
either board-based or carnival-based,
209
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,529
that you may have played
against the wishes of your best friend?
210
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:32,447
No.
211
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,575
Curses, hexes, spells,
shaman, medicine men?
212
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:38,745
Wait.
213
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,372
The strong will become the weak.
214
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,000
The weak will become the strong.
215
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:48,505
I did hallucinate one ancient
foreboding warrior harbinger
216
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:52,050
while I chewed maca root about a year ago.
Could that be something?
217
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,343
No, it's not the maca.
218
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,345
Your body wants the maca.
219
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:56,679
It's not the maca.
220
00:09:56,805 --> 00:10:00,266
[narrator] But finally out of desperation,
he turned to Western medicine.
221
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,976
Tell you what,
let's get some film on you.
222
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:05,814
I'd like you to get on an MRI machine
and try to ride it to climax.
223
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,857
I'm gonna send you over
to Orange County Imaging.
224
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,109
They do a ton of that.
225
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,860
Okay. Do I get magazines?
226
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,821
Yeah. I'll write you a script for that.
227
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,323
They got a place right around the corner
that plays ball.
228
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:16,699
-[door opens]
-[men shouting]
229
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,035
-Oh. Run.
-What? Oh.
230
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,376
[narrator]
Michael was trying to make a movie,
231
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,128
without having the rights to do so.
232
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:31,089
We're making the movie about the family,
and I thought,
233
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,633
"I wonder if Carl Weathers
would be willing to help me out."
234
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,844
-Let me ask you this right up front.
-Okay.
235
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:40,473
Do you think anybody would be upset
if one of these Grinch dolls took a walk?
236
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,600
No, help yourself.
237
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:46,688
I know what you're thinking.
"What part would I play in this?"
238
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,940
I figured you'd want me to play me.
239
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,526
Well, I didn't want to waste you on you.
240
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:55,572
I wasn't gonna talk to you about acting,
but if you are game, that would be great.
241
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,781
Let's circle back to that.
242
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,992
There's a television show, was it?
243
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,369
That you made about my family.
244
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:05,206
[narrator] Michael was referring
to the George Bluth Sr. episode
245
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,084
of a horribly narrated
crime reenactment series
246
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,379
called Scandalmakers
that Carl had directed years earlier.
247
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,882
Did you retain the rights
to my father's story?
248
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:17,010
No, man, rights cost money.
I never bothered with that stuff.
249
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,761
I figure you go ahead, you shoot it.
250
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,514
Better to ask for forgiveness
than beg for permission.
251
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:24,767
[narrator] As it turned out,
Carl had never bothered to get either,
252
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:29,314
which is why he made himself the subject
of the final episode of the series.
253
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:32,317
Lee Nails. Only pressed-on once. [laughs]
254
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,944
Carl, we're at a swap meet. Okay.
255
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:35,987
There he is.
256
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,947
Mr. Weathers... Carl Weathers.
257
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,574
You've been accused of producing
258
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,868
a television show based
on real-life events
259
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,162
for which you've done none
of the due diligence
260
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,456
in securing the rights thereto.
261
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,082
I only have one question.
262
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:51,586
-Can I have your rights?
-Of course, Carl Weathers.
263
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,130
Cut! Now we'll move on,
do a little voice-over.
264
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,091
Oh, God. DeBrie! Oh, God.
265
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,469
Her heart stopped.
She's [bleeps] dying!
266
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,639
[laughs] You're as green
as old lady Grinch. Come on.
267
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:06,768
People don't go to movies to see rights.
People go to movies to see actors.
268
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,811
Now, who you got as scriptwriter?
269
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,563
[narrator]
And that's when Michael remembered
270
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,941
that he did know one member
of the Writers Guild.
271
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,609
The eye's fallen off this one.
272
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,903
You mind if I swap it out,
for the restaurant?
273
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:17,820
Swap it.
274
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,990
[MIchael] And I thought, "Who's gonna
get it right the first time?"
275
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,825
I don't want to give a lot of notes.
276
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,244
Then it came to me.
277
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,996
Who knows my father better
than Warden Gentles?
278
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,999
Hold on one second.
279
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:33,336
-"The... first... time."
-Yeah.
280
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,797
My grandson gave me this,
but I guarantee you,
281
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,757
give me an old Royal
and a glass of Scotch,
282
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,969
and I'll give you 250 pages
where the lightning hits the tree.
283
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,512
That's not what we do here.
284
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,264
I mean, where the drop hits the pond.
285
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,640
-That's it.
-I apologize.
286
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,225
I've had a few meetings today.
287
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:51,354
Then the yellow robot gets mad
at the pink robot...
288
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,898
-That does--
-Correction. The purple robot.
289
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,776
Sorry, I'm back to back today.
290
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,695
I bet. I'm gonna be honest with you.
291
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,238
You're not charring my tree
292
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,698
and...
293
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,951
Yeah, Jerry's not gonna come off the boat
for this one.
294
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,662
This is basically a story about
a fellow like myself
295
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:11,416
and his father
and their friend Carl Weathers.
296
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:16,045
I'm not entirely sure how
to organically work him into the story.
297
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,132
Maybe he's teaching them lessons
or something.
298
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,801
Anyway, I'm gonna leave that up
to your capable hands.
299
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,886
Wait a minute. [tapping keypad]
300
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,306
I've turned it off again.
301
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,473
They're tricky.
302
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:31,019
Might I suggest bringing in
someone younger to play the father?
303
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:32,687
A Philip Seymour Hoffman type?
304
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,272
A Philip Seymour Hoffman type.
305
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:37,734
[narrator] Michael, who was unfamiliar
with the legendary actor's work,
306
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,610
thought he knew of such a type.
307
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,112
Naturally, I thought of you.
308
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,281
Well, you know, I'm a married man,
309
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:46,451
so I don't keep a directory
of attractive young actresses around.
310
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:47,368
Okay.
311
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:51,039
Are you really planning on using her,
or is it like Conan with girl writers?
312
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:52,707
It doesn't matter.
313
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:56,085
I'm here to talk to you about a movie
that we're gonna make about the family,
314
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,379
and I thought it might be really fun
for us to work together again.
315
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,798
Help me remember.
What did we do together?
316
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,926
You came over for a chicken
and ham water dinner that my family threw
317
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,136
to raise some funds for itself.
318
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,431
They're finally getting around
to making a movie of that, huh?
319
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:09,474
There's more to it than that.
320
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:13,811
It's about a young man trying to get out
from under his domineering father
321
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,605
while dealing with the slow death
of his wife.
322
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,273
You just saved me 12 bucks.
323
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,400
I'm not gonna see it.
324
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,361
I'd like for you to be in it.
325
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,364
No offense, I have a job.
I mean, I have a good thing.
326
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,907
-Mr. O'Brien.
-How's it going?
327
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,075
Andy, quick note.
328
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,703
Just 'cause I look at you when we're doing
the show and ask you a question,
329
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:31,954
it doesn't mean you have to respond.
330
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,248
Sometimes it's funny
when you don't say anything,
331
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:38,961
and the audience gets to think,
"Hey, Andy really is stupid." [laughs]
332
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,213
Gets a big laugh.
333
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,423
-Hey, you're new.
-Been here a year.
334
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,925
[laughs] You're funny, too.
335
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:45,968
Let's get you set up in a writer's office.
336
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:49,138
You can have Andy's
if you don't mind the smell of bologna.
337
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,391
I'm in.
338
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,810
♪ Oh, you're simply the best... ♪
339
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,228
[music continuing]
340
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,647
[narrator]
Michael had assembled his dream team,
341
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,566
and now it was time to wow his boss.
342
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,111
Excuse me, sir,
could you turn that off, please?
343
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,112
[music playing]
344
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,947
Oh, I thought that was playing in here.
345
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,366
-Sorry. Slide show of my granddaughter's--
-[music turns off]
346
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,618
-Daughter's graduation from college.
-Sure.
347
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:11,953
-Michael.
-High school.
348
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,162
Did you get the signatures?
349
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:16,958
Better. I put together the core team.
Acting and writing.
350
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,378
You guys do remember I have to be
in Burbank by one every day, right?
351
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:21,295
We got that, Andy.
352
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,589
I'm looking forward to this.
This is happening.
353
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,341
-It is happening.
-It's happening.
354
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,135
Dude, you are moving way too fast.
355
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,594
Maybe by Hollywood standards,
356
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,680
but, Kitty,
I'm from the business community,
357
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,474
where sometimes you have to
show it to them already built.
358
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:34,934
Still think you're gonna bury me?
359
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,104
Well, Michael,
you may not have your father's signature,
360
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,523
but you sure have his signature style.
361
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:41,983
Cue the music.
362
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,028
I think I just deleted my pitch.
363
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,989
[narrator]
As it turns out, it wouldn't matter.
364
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,200
Uh-oh.
365
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,036
Hello. Think there's a problem
with the elevator.
366
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,788
Do you have a scheduled appointment?
367
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:59,459
No, no, we're here to see Ron Howard.
This is the untitled Michael B. project.
368
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,751
I'm actually a producer here.
How are you?
369
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,463
I've got the office just below
the sunken living room there in Brian's.
370
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,006
We're here to pitch Ron the movie.
371
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,175
I'm sorry, sir,
this is a restricted floor.
372
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:10,428
Luisa, it's all right. Crying out loud,
I'm not the king of England.
373
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,597
-There he is. Hey, Ron.
-Oh, did you get that signature?
374
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,266
You know, I've got something better.
Take a look.
375
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:17,518
Andy Richter...
376
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:18,603
I'm out.
377
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,104
God damn it, I'm out.
378
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,982
Not married to Andy,
but what I do have is the writer.
379
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:26,319
Stefan Gentles, Warden, East Orange County
Department of Corrections
380
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:29,614
and writer of multiple episodes
of Rocko's Modern Life.
381
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,283
Well, everybody's got
to start somewhere, right?
382
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,327
-As long as I don't end up there.
-[Carl Weathers] Mnh-mnh.
383
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,663
I'll have 25 pages on your desk
by tomorrow morning.
384
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,999
Gosh, that's putting
the cart before the horse.
385
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,293
Look who I've got to play Carl Weathers.
386
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,503
Oh, is that Cuba?
387
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:47,548
Huh? No, no, no, that's not Cuba.
I did not want to waste Cuba on Carl.
388
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,966
This is Carl Weathers.
389
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,010
Oh, sure, Carl.
390
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:54,472
I thought it was Cuba
with the perfect Carl Weathers makeup.
391
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:57,350
No, no, no,
Cuba doesn't have that kind of range.
392
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:01,270
The thing is, I really do insist
on controlling the casting myself.
393
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,606
I get it. I thought maybe
if you just saw the whole team together.
394
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,651
Team, what team?
I should be informed of all meetings.
395
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:07,902
[Brian Grazer] Hey, Cuba, how you doing?
396
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,279
[Ron] Brian, you know
Carl Weathers, Andy Richter,
397
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,864
Stefan Gentles and Michael Bluth.
398
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,454
I'm gonna skip this one.
399
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,331
Good to see you, Brian.
400
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:24,168
Ron, it might be easier to talk
if we come up just the rest of the way.
401
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,086
Oh, thanks.
402
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,172
Yeah, the elevator's been kooky
since we lowered the floor.
403
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,840
Maybe once you get that signature.
404
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,592
It might be kind of tricky.
405
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:34,262
They're all down in Orange County.
Tough to get down there.
406
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,638
-Oh, hey, B.
-Yeah.
407
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:36,931
[Ron] We must have an office
down there somewhere.
408
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:39,642
-Yeah, we'll stick you someplace.
-We'll stick you someplace.
409
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:50,152
[narrator] Michael was starting work
at his new show business office
410
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,821
at Orange County Imagine.
411
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:52,822
Charles Dawkins.
412
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,658
[narrator] And his office
was already receiving a lot of visitors.
413
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:56,784
Don't get comfortable.
414
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,203
[narrator] But mostly because
of the sign's similarity
415
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,163
to that of this institution,
416
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,499
which also received
some confused visitors.
417
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,544
An embolism?
I was just here to pitch a game show.
418
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,879
[narrator] George Sr., meanwhile,
419
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:11,424
was working on some medical issues
of his own.
420
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,343
-Magazines?
-[speaks Spanish]
421
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:18,264
[narrator] He was on his way
to debase himself in an MRI machine,
422
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:21,726
when he ran into a son
with whom he'd lost touch.
423
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:27,982
Dad, what are you doing here?
424
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,109
I wanted to speak to you...
425
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,320
in person.
426
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,780
I think that you're a little late, okay?
427
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,450
Because I went to you
for a simple signature,
428
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,244
not so I could just make a movie
about the family,
429
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:43,748
but so that I can move on with my life,
and you told me to go to hell.
430
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:48,377
Yeah, sometimes when I'm caught off guard,
I say things I don't mean.
431
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,712
This is a horrible little office.
432
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,173
-So you're here to apologize?
-Sure.
433
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:56,344
And of course to see you
at Orange County I-ma-gine.
434
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,595
And what's that?
435
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,848
Oh, and I...
brought you a peace offering.
436
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,435
-"Tetas Gigantes"?
-You hate it, right?
437
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,062
Well, it's Mexican porn.
438
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,774
You know, you are impossible to buy for.
Just give it to me.
439
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,442
-No.
-No, give...
440
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,861
See, this is the kayak all over again.
441
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,405
I apologize.
I was saying it was a very original gift.
442
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,824
-You'll never use it.
-I will use it.
443
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,160
Except for maybe Señor Señoritas.
444
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,914
I live in Mexico now, and I don't always
know how to ask exactly...
445
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,707
-Understandable.
-for what I want.
446
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,959
And that's almost over now.
447
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,295
Which is what I came to talk to you about.
448
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,422
Do you know Herbert Love?
449
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,592
I know a lot of people, sure,
'cause I'm a big producer now.
450
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,177
He ate a mouse.
451
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,012
Let's grab a coffee.
452
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:44,100
Okay, so I guess things
haven't been going that well for me.
453
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,603
You didn't feel you could tell me?
That's why I haven't heard from you?
454
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,940
I guess I was afraid that if I admitted
Sudden Valley was a failure...
455
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,526
-Told you so.
-you might say, "I told you so."
456
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,570
Well, then you don't know me at all.
457
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,323
Sorry. It's my fault.
I bit off more than I could chew.
458
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,617
I lied about being a big shot
to impress this girl
459
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,160
whose name I don't even know.
460
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,956
I've got this crazy idea
that I'm gonna turn into a star
461
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,083
with a film that I can't get made
462
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:13,045
'cause I can't get my own father's
signature on a release. It's like--
463
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:16,757
I didn't know it was about lying
to a girl.
464
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,384
Give me the release.
465
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,430
-You'd do this for me?
-Of course I will.
466
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,015
[narrator]
And so with his father's rights in hand,
467
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,811
Michael the producer went to show off
in Hollywood.
468
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,647
While George Sr., magazine in hand,
469
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,567
went to [bleeps] off in an MRI machine.
470
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:40,114
On the next Arrested Development...
Fateful Consequences.
471
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,783
Michael starts
to really learn the business.
472
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,703
We can keep going another 20 minutes,
but I know what I'm talking about.
473
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,913
I just went through this last week
with a guy.
474
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,749
-[smacking sound]
-That is a hernia.
475
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,042
I'll send you to my guy over
at Hoag Hospital.
476
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,420
"The Bulge Whisperer."
He does 20 of these a week.
477
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,381
[narrator] And after failing
to get back to Burbank on time,
478
00:20:57,465 --> 00:21:01,927
Andy calls in a favor from
his identical quintuplet brother Rocky.
479
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:06,182
My next guest is a famous pilot
who safely crashed into the Hudson River.
480
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,808
It's kind of a coincidence, Andy.
481
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,311
We've got a pilot who crashes planes,
482
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:13,814
and you're an actor who crashes pilots.
[laughing]
483
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,817
[narrator] And Rocky hurts
two nice red-haired guys' feelings...
484
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:19,695
Yeah, that's really funny.
You know what else would be funny?
485
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,906
If I ripped that red rug
right off your head
486
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,574
and turned you into Ron Howard.
487
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,369
[narrator] ...while getting
the biggest laugh of Andy's career.
488
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,747
[audience cheering]
489
00:21:29,797 --> 00:21:34,347
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