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And so the sweet young princess was bitten
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and the evil vampire lived happily ever after.
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Dad, I'm too old for stories!
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And I'm too young to be sleeping in a coffin!
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You're never too young to learn good habits.
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Now, it may seem a bit dark and scary at first, but don't worry,
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Daddy's here to nail you in.
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But I won't be able to breathe!
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Breathe?!
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- You're a vampire, Vladdy!
- Not yet I'm not!
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Oh, it's best if you keep your mouth shut.
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- Otherwise you may get worms crawling in.
- Worms?!
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What's going on?
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It sounds like you're in pain. Can I watch?
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Yeah come in, the more the merrier. Dad's just nailing me into a coffin.
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Oh, typical! I'm nearly 16! How come I don't get my own coffin?
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There's a perfectly good reason, Ingrid.
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You're a girl!
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Now, son, I shall leave you to enjoy your new coffin.
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I have some midnight hunting to do.
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Off to nibble some sheep again, are we, Daddy?
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Sheep?!
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How dare you?!
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I am the Prince Of Darkness!
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Well, just make sure the farmer doesn't catch you this time.
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Blood and garlic! Bat alert! The vampire is in the air!
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Go! Go! Go! SIREN BLARES
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Dad?
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Let's just finish this game first.
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Hey, I've got a double word score!
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We've been waiting for this all night.
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- Now you'd rather play Scrabble?
- Cuckoo! - Yeah, you said it. Loopy!
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No, "cuckoo". Look.
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I'm catching up.
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Chicken.
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I win.
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Behold! Morning has broken but young Vladimir sleeps,
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away from sunlight's...
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scorching glare.
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Oh, thank you, Master!
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I'll knit something...small.
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Inside this coffin there lies a true vampire!
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Vladimir!
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- Wah!
- What is this thing?
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That thing? I've never seen it before in my life! Mr Cuddles!
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Oh, so it's Mr Cuddles now is it?!
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- I don't normally sleep with him.
- Was poor little Vladdy-waddy lonely?
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- You're supposed to be my son and heir!
- I never chose to be!
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- Right!
- Take it out on the monkey, why don't you!
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Lock up your teddies! They'll be scared of you now.
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- Mum?
- Magda!
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Hello, darlings. Or should I say, congratulations, Daddy?
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Mum's pregnant. How did this happen?
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Well, when a mummy and daddy
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love each other, they make a special wish for a baby.
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Yes, but mummy doesn't love daddy.
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- She loves Patrick.
- Here we are!
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Boys Names for the Modern Vampyre, published 1254 AD.
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Now, let's see...
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Attilla,
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Genghis...
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Barry.
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You do realise it could be a girl?
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- What? It's not an egg-dropper is it, darling?
- Of course not.
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He'll be all man, like his father.
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There's life in the old dog yet!
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Talking of dogs, how's Patrick?
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Patrick?
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Yeah, you know, Patrick, the werewolf.
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Tall, dark and hairy. Patrick.
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- Vladimir, we do not say that name in this castle.
- What, Patrick?
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Argh!
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Idiot.
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Robin!
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- Have you seen this?
- Robin!
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"Farmers lock up their livestock
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"due to spate of animal bitings"?
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Someone's been biting animals?
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No. It's made up, silly.
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You don't really think there's some nutter nibbling sheep, do you?
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- Baaa!
- Baaa! - Baaa!
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I mean, biting humans I can understand,
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but poor innocent animals.
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- What's up with you?
- Mum and Dad are having a baby.
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Magda?
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That's great news, isn't it?
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Bringing another vampire into the world?
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Another merciless, blood-sucking monster.
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Or he could be a bit of a boring one, like you?
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Thanks. I knew you'd cheer me up.
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Dad?
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Hey..Jonathan.
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Is that a coffin?
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Yes!
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- Got a problem with that?
- No.
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I mean, yes!
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And you won't get away with it, you beautiful freak!
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Let's go.
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Oh, that's right, run away at the first sign of trouble!
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All I want is a coffin.
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Is that too much to ask?
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Erm, Ingrid, it's none of our business, but...
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- You're not dying are you?
- Dying? Me?
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Well, I don't expect I'll be doing much breathing
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after my 16th birthday.
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Oh, Ingrid.
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And what is this?
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Your lunch, mistress.
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Do you want it shaved or au naturel?
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- Is this a joke?
- Well, the master's become quite partial.
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The master isn't pregnant!
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I need blood.
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Human blood!
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No!
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No, mistress Magda, please!
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I'm saving myself for my master.
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Oh!
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I could have a wipe down?
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Jono, can't this wait?
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No! This is urgent slaying business!
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Slaying? Look, maybe, maybe we need some time off.
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It's not as if the vampires are up to much, is it?
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No, apart from building coffins in your woodwork room!
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Rubbish!
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All right then, Sherlock.
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What's this?
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That...is a...
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designer coffee table,
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with a convenient shaped body space underneath.
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Dad, they're making us look stupid. Now either we slay
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or we pay. You decide!
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They love me, they love me, they love me, they really love me.
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"Ingrid In Need"! You're sick!
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- So it would seem.
- I don't believe you!
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Pretending you've got a terminal illness, just to get a few presents!
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Oh, sounds like someone's jealous.
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- What have I got to be jealous about?
- Well...
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Here's me getting all this attention at school.
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And at home, you're not Dad's favourite any more.
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Ingrid, of course I'm his favourite, nothing's going to change that.
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- Hi, Dad.
- Silence!
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I'm talking to my new son.
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You were saying?
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DEEP GROWL
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That's my boy!
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No, that's my stomach.
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I'm starving!
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Renfield, where's that pizza delivery boy I ordered?
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DOORBELL RINGS
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Ah, that'll be my 6ft Sicilian.
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- Hello!
- Hello and congratulations.
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Robin told us your news.
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- Hi, Magda.
- I've brought you some books on breastfeeding.
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Shall we have a read?
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Still wrestling with a name, eh?
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I've always really liked Patrick.
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- What?
- Dad!
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- Patrick is Mum's boyfriend.
- Ex! Ex-boyfriend.
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That's what she says. They break up pretty much every full moon.
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Right, that's it. Go to your room!
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- She's only going to let you down again.
- Upstairs NOW!
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Before I flay you alive and feed you inch by inch to the rooks.
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I see you've been watching that Supernanny too.
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- Vlad?
- Oh, so you've finally stopped drooling over my mum, have you?
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Oh no, I'll be going back down in a minute.
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- Unless you wanted to talk?
- I dunno what everyone's so excited about.
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- Look, I was jealous when Chloe was born, but...
- I'm not jealous.
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I'm just worried about my Dad.
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What, your Dad, the evil blood-sucker?
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Sucker, definitely, when it comes to my mum.
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Vlad, my boy. I just want to apologise for snapping.
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It was rude, unthinking, and completely selfish and...
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I say, what a lovely room for a nursery.
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You won't mind moving out, will you?
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- Er, yes!
- Tough necks, it's decided.
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Master?
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Splendid! My son and heir will want for nothing!
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Really? Can I have a Playstation?
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- No, not you, the baby.
- But, I'm your son and heir, right?
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Ah, but you never chose to be. Well, now you won't have to.
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- What?
- Not such a bad father, after all, am I?
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Argh!
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Vlad, I want you to know I'm not enjoying your fall from grace -
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I'm loving it!
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Get out!
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Magda's box big, breathe, breathe. Legs...aah!
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- Should I call an ambulance?
- No, no, I'll be fine.
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I've found the forceps! And I've cleaned off the mould!
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Get out! Out! And fetch me clean towels and hot water!
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- Dad, about the whole son and heir thing.
- No need to thank me, boy.
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I've changed my mind. I would like to be heir to the throne after all.
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Wonderful news! Unfortunately, I've already promised Magda
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the new baby will inherit the title.
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So tell her you've changed your mind. You're the boss.
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Well, I know that. I'm just not sure she does.
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- Argh!
- BABY CRIES
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Good, that went well.
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There.
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Ladies and gentlemen, may I present my new son and heir...
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Vladimir!
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Vladimir? But that's my name.
202
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Curses. What was that other name?
203
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- Barry.
- Barry... - What? You're going to call him Barry?
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Well, no, that would be stupid. We'll call you Barry.
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- Dad, what are you doing?
- I was just...
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I don't believe this. You're surrendering.
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- Jono.
- You're scared!
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I am not scared!
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- Yes, you are. Admit it.
- All right, fine.
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I'm scared!
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We've just had too many near misses.
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It's one thing if I end up getting hurt,
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but I can't keep putting you in danger.
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Sorry.
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Most fetching, Master Vlad.
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I've got to impress Dad somehow if I want my title back.
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TOY SQUEAKS
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Rarr!
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Oh, wow!
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I did the fire thing!
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Oh! Aaaah...
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Dad! I just set fire to Zoltan's tail!
223
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Oh, yes, invite the whole village, why don't you?! Fire! Fire!
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Sorry, but hey... I did the fire thing!
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Ah, good morning fellow vampires!
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Dad, look, I can do the fire thing.
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Raarr!
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Do you want some matches?
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I did it a minute ago!
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Raarr!
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Dad?
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PARP!
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Oh, who's done an evil nappy then?
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Little Vladdy has!
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He's not called Vlad! I am!
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Ingrid In Need Charity Gala tonight!
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Hey, our first sponsored fancy dress!
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Vlad, this is not a good look.
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Even I don't come to school dressed like that any more.
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- Well, you're not the next Count Dracula.
- Neither are you.
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Cheers, Robin.
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- Ow!
- Oh, I'm sorry!
243
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- It's you!
- It was an accident.
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I'm really sorry.
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Get back, fiend! You'll never sup the blood of a slayer!
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I wasn't supping on anything.
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- I'm sorry.
- You will be.
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I was about to declare a ceasefire. But now I know that my boy
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will never be safe until all vampire life
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has been scorched from this earth!
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Rock a bye vampire in the treetop
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When the fangs grow, you're...
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Ah, Master Barry.
254
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,800
Oh, great, now even Zoltan's on his side.
255
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,560
I mean, Master Vlad.
256
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,120
- How was your first day as a vampire?
- Don't ask.
257
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,640
I can smell it. It's in here somewhere. Got it!
258
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:30,320
- Ah, slayer's blood!
- My favourite!
259
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:41,440
Buns, I'm drying up here! There must be some blood somewhere!
260
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:45,800
Magda, I promise you there's not a clot in the castle.
261
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:50,720
Master, here's that blood you asked for.
262
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,960
Fangs off! This is for tonight,
263
00:16:54,960 --> 00:17:00,080
- when I formally anoint Vlad as my heir to the throne.
- Really?
264
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,400
Oh, you mean the other Vlad.
265
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,920
The ceremony will begin at 8 o'clock sharp.
266
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:11,280
- I suggest we all go and put our best capes on.
- Oh, brilliant!
267
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,480
That's it. So you're going to steal everything from me?
268
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:26,200
My name, my friends, my title.
269
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,880
Mr Cuddles?
270
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,960
Well, for your information, I'm Vladimir Dracula
271
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,880
and I don't give up without a fight!
272
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,640
- BURP!
- Oh, dog breath!
273
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,200
- Sorry.
- Not you, the baby.
274
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:48,040
- BABY YIPS
- I knew it!
275
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,280
Come on then, let's go and make some money.
276
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,120
That's one brave young lady.
277
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,280
Who cancelled the gala?
278
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,880
I did.
279
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,280
No-one mocks the Van Helsings.
280
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,760
- No!
- It's a miracle!
281
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,960
- She's cured!
- Shut it! I'm warning you...
282
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,440
step away from the coffin!
283
00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:01,560
- You'll regret this when I really am dead!
- Bring it on, vampire!
284
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,920
Well, on the bright side, you do seem to be feeling better.
285
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,200
So, was she ever ill then?
286
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,560
It's great that we're slaying again, but is this really going to work?
287
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:45,720
How can it fail? The Count flies out of the castle as usual,
288
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,160
sees us, swoops down...bang!
289
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,280
Got him.
290
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,520
Yeah, well, nothing silly, right?
291
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,040
Absolutely!
292
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,000
Baaa! Baaa! Baaa!
293
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:06,480
- Oh. Baa! Baaa!
- Baaa! - Baaaa!
294
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,160
Dad, please, you have to trust me.
295
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,160
I mean, haven't you noticed anything strange about the baby?
296
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,800
Strange and classically handsome, yes.
297
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,920
- Just like his father.
- You're not the father! Patrick is!
298
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,440
Just look at him! Smell his breath. He's a werewolf!
299
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,600
How could I have been so stupid?
300
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,640
Not to lock you in your room!
301
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,760
I knew you'd try and concoct some story!
302
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,440
But it's the truth! Mum, admit it.
303
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,960
If you've quite finished ruining the evening...
304
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,680
Aw, are you not invited, Barry?
305
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,080
And so...
306
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,440
by the powers of chaos and evil...
307
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,760
Ready with the party poppers everyone.
308
00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:04,200
..I, Count Dracula of Transylvania, hereby name and anoint my successor.
309
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,800
Vladimir Slobodan
310
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:11,000
Napoleon Dracula.
311
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,360
Dad, I'm sorry.
312
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,200
Oh, nice lighting, thank you, Barry.
313
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,960
Vladimir, close that now!
314
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,920
The moonlight is lovely.
315
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,280
Oh, look you can see his little nose.
316
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:36,720
Oh! You scheming, manipulative, unfaithful...
317
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,480
- Bun-Buns!
- Don't Bun-Buns me, now go out!
318
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,520
And take your hairy werewolf spawn with you!
319
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,440
What would I do with a baby?
320
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,120
Patrick and I are far too busy.
321
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,920
- So long, darlings!
- Mum?
322
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:08,040
Families. Can't live with them, can't drink their blood!
323
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,040
Baaa!
324
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,200
The slayer boy!
325
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,400
Gotcha!
326
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,160
Give me the hound, Vlad!
327
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,520
Dad you can't bite him.
328
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:52,320
- You called me Vlad!
- You do want to be heir to the throne, don't you?
329
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,360
Not if it means killing my own brother, no!
330
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,920
I wouldn't have a problem with that.
331
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:03,440
I might have been a bit jealous, but he's just a baby...puppy.
332
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,800
- Give me that dog!
- No!
333
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,200
You see, I can do the fire thing!
334
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,360
They grow up so quickly, don't they?
335
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,760
Run!
336
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,280
Here.
337
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,440
I will sniff you...
338
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,960
and that mongrel out.
339
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,360
This way, Master!
340
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,480
That's it! Get him out of here.
341
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,120
What? Why me? Your dad'll kill me.
342
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:19,240
Not if he's chasing after me, he won't.
343
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,760
Oh really, this is far too easy.
344
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,760
Hey, Dad.
345
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,320
Vladamir!
346
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,400
Hi, Robin. Ooh, is that for me?
347
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,480
No.
348
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,360
Thank you.
349
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,800
Sorry, sis!
350
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,000
Dad!
351
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,040
Going somewhere?
352
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,080
Sorry, bro.
353
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,280
Mum?
354
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,800
Got any mint sauce?
355
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,360
One bite and you're dust!
356
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:39,560
- Oh, Vladdy.
- Right then, walkies!
357
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,360
Freeze!
358
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:44,160
He hasn't got the guts.
359
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:49,840
Oh, you...!
360
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,440
I said freeze!
361
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,560
And you!
362
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,520
Oh, stop it or I'll garlic the pair of you!
363
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,600
Honestly, you're like a couple of kids.
364
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,720
Mum, go on, go back to Patrick.
365
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,800
And this time don't forget your baby.
366
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,520
Bye, Mum!
367
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,200
Bye, darlings.
368
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,240
Wow, that was awesome.
369
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:32,120
I mean, you totally rocked there, Vlad.
370
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:36,840
- Yeah, I was quite cool, wasn't I?
- He has got to be in trouble now.
371
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,360
Impressive, Vladimir, standing up to your mother.
372
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:42,640
There's hope for you yet.
373
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:06,880
And thus I declare this noble young vampire to be my rightful successor
374
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,400
to the family throne.
375
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,160
Arise, my son and heir...
376
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,760
Barry Dracula!
377
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,680
Oh, very funny!
378
00:27:29,730 --> 00:27:34,280
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