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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:05,830 Britain and America. It's always been us against the world. 2 00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:10,440 If there's a country to be invaded or a war to be waged, 3 00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:13,360 So what if the rest of the world hates us? 4 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:16,400 We don't care. They're all foreign anyway. 5 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,160 But what unites our two countries? 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,740 Well, I'll tell you the answer to the question I've just asked 7 00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:24,980 as soon as I've finished saying this sentence. 8 00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:26,770 It's the people. 9 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,740 The people of Britain and America. 10 00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:35,139 Let's look at them now, in Little Britain USA. 11 00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:41,930 The most important person in America, is the President, 12 00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:45,590 who today is meeting his French counterpart. 13 00:00:45,830 --> 00:00:48,630 I think, perhaps at the next meeting of the UN, 14 00:00:48,860 --> 00:00:51,830 we should propose a motion to instigate a trade embargo. 15 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,340 I think I will be able to sell the idea to my cabinet, but... 16 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,380 I worry what the rest of Europe will think. 17 00:00:56,380 --> 00:00:59,490 I believe we need to present the strongest case we can, then put it to the vote. 18 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,430 - Morning, Mr President. - Good morning, Prime Minister. 19 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,560 Who's this? 20 00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:09,360 Ah! This is President Montand of France. 21 00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:11,920 Yeah, I know who he is. What's he doing here? 22 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:14,530 Pleased to meet you, Prime Minister. 23 00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:16,230 Whatever! 24 00:01:16,930 --> 00:01:18,110 Can I have a word? 25 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,520 Excuse me. 26 00:01:20,690 --> 00:01:23,420 Myself and President Montand are having a meeting. 27 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:27,150 I only came to say goodbye. I'm a bit surprised he's here already. 28 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:27,940 I don't understand. 29 00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:31,630 Well, I haven't even left yet! You've already got one of your Euro sluts in. 30 00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:34,430 - Right. 31 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:35,690 ??? 32 00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:39,560 President Montand and I have a lot to discuss before next week's UN summit. 33 00:01:39,770 --> 00:01:41,050 I don't like him. 34 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:42,000 What?! 35 00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:44,500 - I don't like the way he looks at you. - I don't know what you mean. 36 00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:47,630 I don't know if it's love or lust, but he's obviously got something for you. 37 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,250 Don't be ridiculous! 38 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,530 He's gay. 39 00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:53,070 He's not gay! He's married! 40 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,270 So am I. 41 00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,950 Gentlemen, are you going to be long? 42 00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:01,030 Sorry, dear, I don't speak French! 43 00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:04,170 Is there a problem? 44 00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:06,330 Yeah. 45 00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:09,800 I've got a problem. 46 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,880 Vous. 47 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:17,440 Excuse me. The President and I were in the middle of a very important meeting. 48 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,620 As you know, France and America have a special relationship. 49 00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:22,080 What?! 50 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,940 Yes, we do have a special relationship. 51 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,370 But I thought you said we had a special relationship! 52 00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:30,350 We do. 53 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,470 Well, ha! How many special relationships are you having?! 54 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:34,910 You are being ridiculous. 55 00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:38,310 Yeah, not too close, dear. Ooh, she reeks of garlic. 56 00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:43,360 Prime Minister, I'm sure you don't wish to delay your plane. I'll see you next week at the summit. 57 00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:45,510 Oh, you want me to go? 58 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,380 Oh, well, that's fine, actually, cos I was gonna go anyway. 59 00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:50,890 I've actually got a meeting with the President of Russia. 60 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,160 Me and him are having a special relationship now. 61 00:02:54,430 --> 00:02:55,340 Really? 62 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:56,940 Yeah. It's not like your special relationship. 63 00:02:57,050 --> 00:03:00,010 It doesn't involve kissing. Oh, dear, I've said it. 64 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,340 Goodbye, Prime Minister. 65 00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:05,930 Goodbye, Prime Minister. 66 00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:07,240 Bitch. 67 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,529 Where were we? 68 00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:16,350 We were discussing the trade embargo. 69 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,870 Ah, yes. I have some documents that we should go through. 70 00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:23,500 So, broadly, France is in agreement on this? 71 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:24,650 Oh, yes. 72 00:03:25,850 --> 00:03:27,790 I'm right behind you. 73 00:03:28,779 --> 00:03:32,243 -==http://www.ragbear.com==- С���е������� ��һ����3�� 74 00:03:32,456 --> 00:03:35,210 This boot camp is home to Vicky Pollard, 75 00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:38,010 a member of Britain's thriving underclass. 76 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,640 Of course, in America, she will be considered aristocracy. 77 00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:44,730 That's when I started messing around with drugs and stealing 78 00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:47,500 and then I'd steal to feed the drug habit 79 00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:51,500 and I realise now, I was just in a lot of pain 80 00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:55,930 and I think being here at camp has really helped me understand that. 81 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,780 Thank you for sharing that with us, Lindsay. 82 00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:02,140 It's very moving. Thank you. 83 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:03,820 Vicky. 84 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,230 What?! 85 00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:09,010 Tell us a bit about your home life. 86 00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:13,860 No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, because I live at home with Shelley 87 00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:16,170 and she could by my mum, but she might be my sister. I'm not sure. 88 00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:18,462 Maybe she's both. Anyway, she's, like, well harsh because once, right, 89 00:04:18,462 --> 00:04:24,762 she grounded me for 15 minutes and it was so unfair because all I did, right, 90 00:04:24,762 --> 00:04:26,220 was go down Baskin Robbins cos Denise Welby got a Saturday job there 91 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:28,990 and I made her give me all the money out the till and shat in the mint choc chip. 92 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:33,790 I think I got some of that. And what about school? 93 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,680 Oh, yeah. I went there once. It was all right. 94 00:04:35,870 --> 00:04:37,260 You went there once? 95 00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:40,910 Yeah, yeah.I done math or something or nothing, histography, biomistry and, oh, 96 00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:46,420 what's that one where they're all talking some weird language and that 97 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,870 - and you can't really understand it? - French? 98 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,160 No, English. 99 00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:54,130 Right. And what brought you here to camp? 100 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,410 A bus. 101 00:04:56,630 --> 00:05:00,500 Er, no, no. I mean what sort of behaviour brought you here? 102 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,190 Er, did you experiment with drugs? 103 00:05:03,410 --> 00:05:05,800 Oh, my God, that is so out of order! 104 00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:08,300 I tried drugs, like, once for, like, eight years 105 00:05:08,420 --> 00:05:10,800 but apart from that I ain't not never ever done nothing or nothing. 106 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:13,060 Anyway, if anyone should be here it's Kelly Bailey, 107 00:05:13,150 --> 00:05:15,420 cos she's been saying really nasty things about me in front of my back 108 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:18,350 cos she's well jealous cos she really, really fancies Steven Dean 109 00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:20,640 and he took me up the wrong 'un round the back of Dunkin' Donuts. 110 00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:23,860 But just cos I done it with him don't mean I fancy him. I'm not a slag. 111 00:05:24,430 --> 00:05:28,270 OK, er... Do you feel your time here at camp has helped you? 112 00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:32,840 Er, I'd love to say yes, because I have really been trying, 113 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:35,430 because I am actually a very trying person, 114 00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:37,700 but unfortunately, I have been really put off, 115 00:05:37,890 --> 00:05:40,120 because all the other girls here are bitches, 116 00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:41,700 apart from Suzanne... 117 00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:44,670 who's a total bitch, because she flobbed in Amber's hair and blamed it on me 118 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:45,870 and I was like, "Oh, my God! 119 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,520 - "I can't believe you just said that!" - I never did anything close to that. 120 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:49,070 Why would I even do that? 121 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,580 Hello, hello? Hello? 122 00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:12,880 This is a restroom, or, as the British like to call it, the shitter. 123 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:16,880 They've approved it, so the merger should be finalised by Thursday. 124 00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:19,810 Great, so we can announce it to the trade press Friday. 125 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:20,860 Yeah. 126 00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:26,340 Don't worry! Don't worry! I don't looking. I'm just here to clean toilet. 127 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,200 Of course, what we really should be doing right now 128 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,010 is looking for other businesses to acquire. 129 00:06:31,130 --> 00:06:35,750 Don't worry! Don't worry! I don't looking. I just have to clean here. 130 00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:37,160 Interesting you should say that. 131 00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:39,740 I was just talking to a friend on Wall Street who says that... 132 00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:44,540 Don't worry. Don't worry. I don't looking. I don't looking at penis at all. 133 00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:48,030 There's never been a better time to buy into leisure industries. 134 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,232 Oh, yeah. Boom time. 135 00:06:49,232 --> 00:06:54,590 Don't worry. Don't worry. I don't looked at penis. I don't looked at penis at all. 136 00:06:54,720 --> 00:07:00,880 Just to confirm, I definitely don't looked at penis. I don't look at penis at all. 137 00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:02,410 I don't do it. I don't do it. 138 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,010 Thank you. 139 00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:08,210 So sorry about your penis. 140 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:18,170 Very sensibly, it is legal to carry a gun in America. 141 00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:23,260 And what better way to let off steam than to go out shooting defenceless animals? 142 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,910 Think you could take it down? 143 00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:40,670 - Gotcha! Woohoo! - Woohoo! 144 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,960 Yeah! Woohoo! 145 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:48,560 Whoa! Whoa. 146 00:07:48,810 --> 00:07:49,920 Whoa. 147 00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:58,780 Yeah. That's gotta be two, two and a half inches? 148 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,280 At least. 149 00:08:17,870 --> 00:08:21,260 At this university in North Carolina, 150 00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:24,480 homosexualist Dafydd Thomas has come to study. 151 00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:28,140 Gay society. Society for gays! 152 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,910 Hey, are you new here? 153 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,720 Oh yes, it's my first week. 154 00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:34,170 And you've already started up your own gay society? 155 00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:38,050 Yes. I grew up in a small village in Wales and it was very difficult for me. 156 00:08:38,210 --> 00:08:40,510 - I...I felt very alone. - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 157 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,360 Yes, it wasn't easy being the only gay in the village. 158 00:08:44,570 --> 00:08:47,250 Well, you're very welcome to join the chess society. 159 00:08:47,390 --> 00:08:50,770 - Is it gay chess? - Er, no. Just chess. 160 00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:53,150 - No, thank you then. - Hey, how about rock climbing? 161 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:55,310 No, I cannot rock climb. I'm gay, you see. 162 00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:56,990 I prefer to spend my time 163 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,460 in the company of other gays who know what it's like to be gay. 164 00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:02,580 You should be in luck. I mean, there must be lots of gay students here. 165 00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:03,660 We'll see. 166 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,390 Well, I've been here five seconds and no-one's joined. 167 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,170 Clearly I am the only gay on campus. Good day. 168 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:17,900 Hey. This guy looks like he might be gay. 169 00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:19,770 I doubt it. 170 00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:22,310 Oh, er, rock climbing just here. 171 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,140 No, I'm here for gay society. 172 00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:26,290 Yes, but this society is for gays only. 173 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,700 Is cool by me. 174 00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:29,010 Yeah, this great. 175 00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:31,380 No, er, I'm afraid membership is full up. 176 00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:33,470 No. How many members you got? 177 00:09:33,650 --> 00:09:35,100 Just the one. Me. 178 00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:36,810 Why don't you let me join? 179 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,070 This society is for gays only. 180 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,400 I am gay. 181 00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:44,270 No, you are not a gay. I am the gay. You're just very slightly effeminate. 182 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,550 -I am gay. I've known it since I was two. - Really? 183 00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:50,860 Yes. And I come out to my mama when I was five. 184 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,910 You were probably going through a phase. 185 00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:57,270 No. I'm gay for sure. I just been blowing my roommate. 186 00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:58,860 Disgusting! 187 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,930 What is your problem? What you gonna do anyway in your gay society? 188 00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:06,900 Well, if you must know, I'm going to sit alone in my room and think gay thoughts. 189 00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:08,900 You know, about men's bottoms and that. 190 00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:12,880 It's no good being gay on yourself. You gotta get out there and do it! 191 00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:15,170 I can't have sex with a man. I'm gay! 192 00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:19,360 Crazy. You shouldn't be running this gay society. I should. 193 00:10:19,540 --> 00:10:22,690 I want to meet some cute guys. Come on. Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! 194 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,950 Gay society! Society for gays! 195 00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:28,110 Ah, come here cute guys with the blond hair and the little beard. 196 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,950 Bet you like it up the bum-bum. 197 00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:34,810 OK. How many inches are you, please? 198 00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:39,100 This British family are enjoying their breakfast. 199 00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:42,250 British people traditionally have three meals a day, 200 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,330 unlike Americans, who prefer to eat around 15. 201 00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:46,800 One boiled egg. 202 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:51,040 Oh, thank you so much, dear. Well, I've studied the guide book. There's plenty to do. 203 00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:53,650 Yeah, and David'll have some good ideas. He's just in the shower. 204 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,000 Celia, can I get you some more breakfast? 205 00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,610 No. I'm fine, thank you. I had some toast. 206 00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,400 OK. Harvey, what would you like? 207 00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:00,360 Bitty. 208 00:11:00,630 --> 00:11:01,610 I'm sorry? 209 00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:02,810 Bitty. 210 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,410 Oh, not bitty now, darling. Have an egg or something. 211 00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:09,940 - I don't want an egg. I want bitty. - No, darling. 212 00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,560 I think we should visit the art gallery first. 213 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,640 Yes. Then somewhere nice for lunch. 214 00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:17,960 - Bitty. Bitty. - Oh, all right then. 215 00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:19,570 Do excuse me. 216 00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:25,410 The other place I wanted to visit is the history museum. 217 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,760 They've got some native American artefacts. 218 00:11:27,870 --> 00:11:29,840 Sounds fascinating, dear. 219 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,490 - Oh, started already. Ha. Morning. - Morning. 220 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,530 Morning! 221 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,300 Oh, honey, we're out of milk. 222 00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:38,340 Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to get some more. 223 00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:42,210 Don't worry. There's plenty more here. 224 00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:49,010 Oh! Sorry! 225 00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:55,630 There we are. 226 00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:57,010 Good. 227 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:07,800 Eat up. 228 00:12:35,190 --> 00:12:37,220 Let me know if you need more. 229 00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:43,560 This is the home of Bing Gordon, the eighth man on the moon. 230 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:48,520 The British have never been to the moon, but some of us have been to Belgium. 231 00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:53,960 It's, er, just through here. Pictures, memorabilia. 232 00:12:56,350 --> 00:12:58,070 This is the radiator? 233 00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:01,920 Yes, this is the one. Just underneath this signed letter I have 234 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,790 from the President congratulating me on my moon landing. 235 00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:07,910 Right. And what is problem with the radiator? 236 00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:11,350 Oh, it lets off a kind of hissing noise when you turn it on. 237 00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:17,030 Oh, er, I'll just move this piece of moon rock out of your way 238 00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:19,850 in case this piece of moon rock gets in your way. 239 00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:28,070 Better. Moon rock. 240 00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,750 Ah. What's your name, my Indian friend? 241 00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,050 Sanjit. 242 00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:39,830 Huh. You ever been to the moon, Sanjit? 243 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,130 No, sir. 244 00:13:41,370 --> 00:13:42,450 I have. 245 00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:43,930 Think of that! 246 00:13:44,130 --> 00:13:46,890 You thought you were here just to fix some guy's radiator. 247 00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:50,510 Turns out you're meeting old Bing Gordon, the eighth man on the moon. 248 00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:56,620 And when you turn it off it's still hissing? 249 00:13:56,810 --> 00:14:00,120 No. Yeah, it's... No, when you turn it off it doesn't hiss. 250 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,790 So, has it been giving off any heat? 251 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:08,460 No, it's been pretty cold. Not as cold as the moon, which, as I say, I went to. 252 00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:11,560 You can see right there a picture of me on the moon. That's me, me on the moon. 253 00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:12,810 Look at it, you prick! 254 00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:18,030 Yeah, er, I think it is faulty valve. Could anybody have tampered with it, sir? 255 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,700 That is impossible, Sanjit. 256 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,230 I replace valve now. 257 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:28,780 Would you like a cup of coffee, my Indian friend? 258 00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:29,879 No, thank you. 259 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,160 I'll make you a cup of coffee. You might want a cup of coffee. 260 00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:57,450 I have your coffee. Over. 261 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,510 I have replaced valve. 262 00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,700 Charge is $120. 263 00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:15,460 ????? 264 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,950 I've got some here. 265 00:15:19,310 --> 00:15:21,590 Yup. Here. 266 00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:23,640 Thank you. 267 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:28,950 Moooooooooon! 268 00:15:36,410 --> 00:15:39,420 Hi, I need a plumber, please. 269 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:48,220 In Mississippi, British tourist Lou has been out shopping for his friend, Andy. 270 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,830 We don't have shops or money yet in Britain. We barter mainly. 271 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,840 For example, livestock, grain, wives. 272 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,740 I'm back. 273 00:15:59,010 --> 00:15:59,970 Yeah, I know. 274 00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:13,730 Got any coins? 275 00:16:14,690 --> 00:16:16,580 Andy? 276 00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:18,540 Yeah? 277 00:16:18,860 --> 00:16:20,510 Where did you get that? 278 00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:22,020 That what? 279 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,180 That toy car ride thing-a-me-gigga-be. 280 00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:26,800 Er... 281 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,860 Found it. 282 00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:30,400 You found it. 283 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:31,590 Yeah. 284 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,940 I'm not sure I believe you, Mr Pipkin. 285 00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:42,710 I think you might be telling lies again. 286 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:47,670 Earlier today the Wal-Mart in downtown Jackson was the scene of a bizarre crime 287 00:16:47,910 --> 00:16:50,470 when a man, posing as a disabled wheelchair user, 288 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,710 was caught on the security camera stealing a coin-operated children's ride. 289 00:16:54,910 --> 00:16:56,300 Noooo! 290 00:16:57,530 --> 00:17:01,620 The suspect was wearing thick spectacles, burgundy jogging pants 291 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,300 and a dirty tank top. 292 00:17:07,970 --> 00:17:12,420 The police have issued the following composite sketch of the suspect. 293 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,240 Black fella did it. 294 00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:26,410 In America, if you are white, overweight and in your 60s, 295 00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:29,000 you are rounded up and put on a cruise ship. 296 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,750 - Good night, Captain. - Good night. 297 00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:42,250 Oh! Mrs Devere! 298 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:44,570 Call me Bubbles, darling, everybody does. 299 00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:45,720 What are you doing here?! 300 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,010 Oh, don't play the innocent with me, darling. 301 00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:50,050 You gave me a look tonight over dinner. 302 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:51,830 - Did I?! - Yes, darling. 303 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:55,780 It was a look that said, "Forget about your large, unpaid gambling debt. 304 00:17:55,930 --> 00:18:01,490 "Come to my cabin later, at about 11.15 or so, and make sweet, beautiful love to me." 305 00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,530 Please leave. 306 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,470 Ha! "Please leave"! 307 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,900 We all know what that means, don't we, Captain? 308 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,090 It means, "Please don't leave." 309 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:28,220 Mrs Devere, you're not going to get out of paying off your gambling debts by seducing me. 310 00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:29,130 It's not going to work. 311 00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,360 Really, darling? 312 00:18:30,590 --> 00:18:35,180 I know you've made love to a woman and I'm sure you've made love to a fish. 313 00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:39,240 But I bet you've never made love to a mermaid! 314 00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:41,950 What the...?! 315 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:45,680 Have you ever had sexual intercourse in the ocean, Captain? 316 00:18:45,810 --> 00:18:46,500 No, I have not. 317 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,610 Oh, it's so romantic. 318 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:52,990 You'll just have to be careful you don't get saltwater in your vagina or anus. 319 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,700 Get out of my cabin, Mrs Devere. 320 00:18:55,850 --> 00:19:00,740 Er... Very well, darling. Would you at least be a gentleman and help me up? 321 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,350 Careful, darling. I'm as light as air. 322 00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:10,140 Thank you so much, darling. 323 00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:14,800 Oh, Captain, what would people say if they could see us right now? 324 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,160 This isn't going to work. 325 00:19:16,290 --> 00:19:17,970 - Kiss me, darling. - No. 326 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,135 Touch my breast with your hand. 327 00:19:20,135 --> 00:19:21,005 No. 328 00:19:21,005 --> 00:19:22,290 Tweak a nipple? 329 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,300 - Get out! - Oh. 330 00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:32,560 You can stick your finger up my bum. 331 00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:39,130 Meanwhile, the hunters are still stalking their prey. 332 00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:59,110 Man, that's some wasp. 333 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,260 It's a beauty. 334 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,610 Oh, my God! It's still alive! 335 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,630 I think he's dead. 336 00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:16,120 Gotta be sure. 337 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,680 More wasp? 338 00:20:33,930 --> 00:20:37,210 Oh, er, no thanks. I'm saving room for some mouse meat. 339 00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:45,530 This is an art class. Britain has produced many great artists. 340 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,490 Pablo Picasso - British. Vincent van Gogh - British. 341 00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:51,880 Leonardo da Vinci - British. 342 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:56,140 As we all know, America has produced no artists of note. 343 00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:58,820 So, our model should be here any moment. 344 00:20:59,010 --> 00:21:01,700 Now, today is Life Drawing. 345 00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:06,170 What I want you to concentrate on is technical precision. 346 00:21:06,370 --> 00:21:08,310 Bonjour! 347 00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:15,710 - Er, can I help you? - Emily. Emily Howard. 348 00:21:15,790 --> 00:21:20,240 We spoke on the telephone. I am the "modelle" for this evening. 349 00:21:21,550 --> 00:21:23,580 Right. We were expecting a... 350 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,860 Lady. Yes, I am a lady. 351 00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:29,650 Uh-huh. Have you done this sort of thing before, or...? 352 00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:33,070 Oh, yes, yes. I've modelled for all the magazines. 353 00:21:33,070 --> 00:21:36,030 Vogue, Elle, Vanity Fair 354 00:21:36,910 --> 00:21:38,170 and shit. 355 00:21:39,390 --> 00:21:40,960 Well, we'd better get started. 356 00:21:41,060 --> 00:21:42,320 Oh! Of course! 357 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,820 So how do you want me? Hmm? 358 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,390 Virginal? Hm? 359 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:52,299 Coquettish? Hmm? Slutty? 360 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:54,000 Actually, Mr, er... 361 00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:56,590 Howard, Emily Howard. I am a lady. 362 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,900 Right, well, I don't know if you read the ad correctly, but this is a nude drawing class. 363 00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:04,560 You're all going to take your clothes off?! 364 00:22:04,650 --> 00:22:06,560 Takes all sorts, I suppose. 365 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,200 No, you need to take off your clothes. 366 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,000 Ooh, but I am a lady. 367 00:22:12,190 --> 00:22:14,710 Whatever. My students need to draw you naked. 368 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,440 You can undress behind the screen. 369 00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:24,000 Oh, well. Do excuse me. Never been in the nude before. I am a lady, you see. 370 00:22:29,150 --> 00:22:30,770 Oh, shit! 371 00:22:39,330 --> 00:22:40,810 How are you getting on? 372 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,000 Pretty good. 373 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,570 And so we have met the people of Britain and America. 374 00:22:55,770 --> 00:22:58,930 But what do the people of our great nations share? 375 00:22:59,070 --> 00:23:03,070 Well, we share a strong sense of moral purpose. 376 00:23:03,230 --> 00:23:06,500 We share a desire to make the world more civilised. 377 00:23:06,690 --> 00:23:08,960 And we share bodily fluids. 378 00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:12,910 That's on Thursday afternoons at my place. Goodbye. 379 00:23:15,307 --> 00:23:18,633 -==http://www.ragbear.com==- welcome joining us 380 00:23:22,305 --> 00:23:27,305 -==http://www.ragbear.com==- sync��mayat 381 00:23:31,306 --> 00:23:35,306 record��chocolate 382 00:23:35,356 --> 00:23:39,906 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30485

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