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1
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♪ Romantic strings
2
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Remind Daddy to get some milk
while you're out.
3
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,312
Right. Have you had a wee-wee?
4
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,311
Ah! Good idea.
5
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,470
l won't be a minute.
6
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,996
- Hello.
- Hello.
7
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:49,593
Hello.
8
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,839
There's another one coming, look. Look!
Come on, goosey.
9
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,878
You're not supposed to eat it. lt's for the ducks.
10
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,910
Look, darling. This is your new baby sister Ellie.
11
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Mummy's gonna be wondering where we are,
in't she?
12
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,315
- Look. There's two there. Look!
- Two little ducks.
13
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PETE: Two little ducks. Quack! Quack!
- Yeah.
14
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,638
And here's your other baby sister...Olivia.
15
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BOTH: Boo!
16
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,999
Hey, stinker!
17
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There you go.
18
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Thanks.
19
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Do l owe you anything for this?
20
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,359
See you, tiger.
You be a good boy for Mummy, then. Yeah?
21
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,396
LlTTLE ADAM: Yeah.
22
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,597
- Same time next week, then?
- Yeah, same time next week.
23
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,918
See you, Pete.
24
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,992
Bills...bills...bills...
25
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,389
William...William. Nightmare.
26
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,636
(TV on)
27
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MAN ON TV: lt's got a real '70s feel to it,
which you don't want.
28
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- The shoes she's wearing are £35.
WOMAN: How much was that skirt again?
29
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MAN: That skirt was £35. Very inexpensive.
- Really? lt looks an awful lot more expensive.
30
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:40,268
MAN: The high street is getting so good now,
because they look at the big collections.
31
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,920
So, they create the looks but obviously give...
32
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Arrrgh!
33
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,549
Hello.
34
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,755
(Shrieks)
35
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,671
Jesus, you made me jump!
36
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,957
- Surprised to see us, then?
- Or do you always dress like that?
37
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- You're back so early.
- The flight landed at five.
38
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,678
A week early.
39
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,955
Due back the 4th. l even wrote it down.
40
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,510
- l lost that piece of paper.
- Well, maybe it's underneath all this crap.
41
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,511
l was going to tidy up.
42
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,433
You were supposed to meet us at Heathrow.
l lent you the car.
43
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,034
- Ah, yes. The car.
- We had to get the coach up.
44
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After a 1 2-hour flight.
45
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,758
How were the Maldives?
46
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,071
- Not as nice as Mauritius.
- l'm going to go and get some coffee.
47
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,391
- l hope you haven't got skid marks on that sofa!
- No, of course not!
48
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,996
l'm sure that mark was there before.
49
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:34,071
- Do you not want milk with those?
- We're out of milk.
50
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:37,550
- Oh, great. Black coffee.
- Er...yeah.
51
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,108
RACHEL: Where's the coffee?
52
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,516
Mum!
53
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:47,949
Hello.
54
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,429
lt's lovely to see you. How was your flight?
55
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,431
Well, you know, it was a charter.
56
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,238
You even had to pay for your drinks.
57
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,515
Still, at this time of day, who'd want a drink?
58
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,513
We'd have paid for you to fly scheduled.
59
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,353
l did think David might have collected me
from the airport.
60
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:05,793
Oh, he's at work.
61
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,791
At 7:30?!
62
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,475
Mm. He's had a lot of early starts.
Since the twins were born, actually.
63
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,471
Well, come on.
64
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,710
Let's go and see the little darlings.
65
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,756
And my grandson, of course.
66
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,036
Er...Mum.
67
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,234
Right. l'll bring the bags in, then, shall l?
68
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,473
- lt is not pubic.
- lt is. lt's all crinkly.
69
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,630
God! He's been using my razor.
70
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,234
Come on! No-one shaves their pubes.
71
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,117
Well, not blokes anyway.
72
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,997
Well, maybe some. But not Pete.
73
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,672
He's got to go, Adam.
74
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:46,070
Give him some more time.
He said he'll mend his ways. He's tidied up.
75
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,754
And he's promised to wear clothes in the future.
76
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,876
We said he could stay a month, not six weeks.
77
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,518
We can't kick him out now.
78
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,797
No, we can't give him a lift,
because he's buggered the bloody car.
79
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,475
l didn't like him staying in the first place.
lt felt like we were taking sides.
80
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,391
But Jenny stayed in their house.
81
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,836
And since he's been here we haven't seen her.
No. He's got to go.
82
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,070
You know, you're being very unfair.
83
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:11,199
lf any of your friends needed help,
l'd be there for them, no questions asked.
84
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,875
Look, one last chance. OK?
85
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:20,193
lf he's out of order again - if he does anything
to put you out in the slightest, l will ask him to go.
86
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,872
- Anything?
- l promise.
87
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,638
- (Knock on door)
- Are you going to be long in there?
88
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,713
- We'll be as long as we want!
- lt's just l'm a bit desperate for the loo.
89
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,395
Look, l am not getting out of this bath.
90
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,319
OK. You can come in now.
91
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,391
Oh, thanks. Sorry about this.
92
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,630
Come on. Come on.
93
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,591
Erm...oh.
94
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,716
Actually, it's a number two.
95
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,558
l'll help him pack.
96
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,712
Divorce, is it?
97
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,352
What makes you say that?
98
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,278
Woman out of work for a few years,
it's usually a divorce.
99
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,591
Well, it's not. We're separated.
100
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,990
Same difference.
ldeally, how much would you like to earn?
101
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:23,155
Well, ideally, l'd like to cover
my share of the mortgage...clothes...food.
102
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,754
Nice to have the odd luxury every now and then.
103
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:29,549
- £35,000? Have you got anything like that?
- lf we did, l'd apply for 'em.
104
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,473
- Did you say you'd got shorthand?
- Yeah. And typing.
105
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,358
- And a pair of rubber gloves?
- Sorry?
106
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,078
There's a firm here needs a cleaner.
107
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,516
Yeah, but l wouldn't be able to use
my secretarial skills, would l?
108
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:46,196
You've been out the job market a while. You'll
have to start at the bottom of the career ladder.
109
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,633
Fine.
110
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:53,158
Here's one that might suit you. Requires a bright
person capable of working unsupervised.
111
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,798
Hello, me.
112
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,836
Oh, no, you're too old.
113
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Cleaning...cleaning.
114
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,190
Stuffing envelopes?
115
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,629
Cleaning.
116
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,759
Ah, secretarial work. A nice quiet office.
117
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,353
A funeral parlour?
118
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,237
Yeah...
119
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,231
What's wrong with a funeral parlour?
120
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,676
Nothing. Nothing at all.
121
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,836
l mean, we all need funeral parlours, don't we?
122
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Eventually.
123
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,388
Yeah. So, how's it going?
124
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,391
Good.
125
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,994
A few teething troubles.
126
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,674
- (Sombre organ music)
- Anyone mind if l close a window?
127
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,354
Catch your death in here.
128
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,078
(Weeps)
129
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,152
- My life is finished.
- Oh, come on. lt's not that bad.
130
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:52,233
My marriage is over.
l'm kipping in my best mate's spare room.
131
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,996
- l'm this far away from being a bag lady.
- lt's closer than that, mate.
132
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:58,638
lt's not me. lt's Rachel.
133
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,878
Big lssue?
134
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,555
Big lssue.
135
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,551
(Gate closes)
136
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,752
Oi! Psst! Psst! David!
137
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,471
Someone's turned our drive into
a bloody ashtray.
138
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,074
- Ah, Heather. You've arrived, then?
- Looks like it.
139
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:30,194
Hello, Joshy. Building a tower? Jolly good.
Very good of you to offer to help with the twins.
140
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:34,114
- Jack didn't mind you coming over?
- lt wouldn't be easy for Karen on her own.
141
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,511
l'll stay as long as l can.
Would you like a drink, David?
142
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,875
- Er, it's a bit early.
- Oh, not in Europe.
143
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,473
l haven't adjusted yet.
144
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:48,678
Well, l won't, but don't let me stop you...
having another.
145
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,149
Hi, darling. How was your day?
146
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,516
Oh, busy. Probably a picnic compared to yours.
147
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,672
- Still, it must be easier having Heather here?
- Hmm.
148
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,150
Hey, Mum, have you sterilised those bottles yet?
149
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,993
Oh, my God! l must be jet-lagged.
150
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,589
Who'd have thought it?
Back to a bedsit at my age.
151
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,875
You could always move in with your mum.
152
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,235
l don't like that Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
153
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:23,074
There's something not right about him.
154
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,355
(Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen on TV)
155
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,318
Don't forget your vegetables, Peter.
156
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,676
Well, OK, not your mum.
But you must have friends who'll put you up.
157
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,320
Yeah. l thought l did.
158
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,960
David and Karen. They've got plenty of room.
159
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,837
No. No. They've just had twins.
160
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:42,708
- Oh, no. l wouldn't want all that crying again.
- No.
161
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,951
l know. l know where there's a free bed.
162
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:52,397
To be honest, life's like 1 00% better
since Pete moved out.
163
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:57,508
Not for me, it's not.
How did you cope with all his...little ways?
164
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,273
- Used a lot of bleach.
- Yeah.
165
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:06,599
lt's funny, we're sort of getting on really well
since we separated. We're quite matey now.
166
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,752
- (Mobile rings)
- lt's putting that bit of distance between us.
167
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:10,955
Hello?
168
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,918
Oh, hello. We were just talking about you.
169
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,996
l beg your pardon?
170
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,869
You might want to get some more sherry in.
171
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,758
No, l bought a few bottles
when l knew Mum was coming.
172
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,592
l know.
173
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,432
You might want to get some more.
174
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:36,359
lt's the Costa del Sol, David.
Cocktail hour all day.
175
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,916
Karen...she's an alcoholic.
176
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,956
Don't be ridiculous.
177
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,995
What would you call it, then?
178
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,598
Unhappy.
179
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,148
l don't think she and Dad are getting on
that well.
180
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,435
Maybe he has to pay her bar bill.
181
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,592
David, she is not an alcoholic.
182
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,076
She's not. How can she be?
183
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,628
She doesn't have her first drink till lunchtime.
184
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,915
- She doesn't get up till 1 2.
- (Door opens)
185
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,991
l bet that's Josh.
186
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:12,198
Or it could be Heather sneaking out her empties.
187
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:16,239
David...come and have a look.
188
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,360
Sweet. He's come to see his sisters.
189
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,510
Darling, it's time for bed now.
190
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,750
You can play with the girls in the morning.
191
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,114
Josh!
192
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,916
(Twins gurgle)
193
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,959
Come here, poppet.
194
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:50,116
Pete, l'm not sure about this.
l should speak to Rachel or give her a call.
195
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,270
She seemed pretty adamant.
196
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,909
lt's only for a few days,
just till l get myself sorted.
197
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,150
Besides, little Adam likes his dad at home.
198
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,708
But you're not home, Pete. Have you got it?
199
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,872
- We're just friends. Yeah?
- Yeah. That's why it'll work.
200
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,394
You are looking for a place to live, aren't you?
201
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,357
lt's not all part of some master plan?
202
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,510
Do you think l could be that Machiavellian?
203
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,272
l didn't even know you knew the word.
204
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,396
Guardian crossword.
205
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,436
We'll have to have some ground rules.
206
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,592
- All right. Name them.
- l don't know. l haven't thought of any.
207
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,000
We'll have our own flannels, that sort of thing.
208
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,832
Done.
209
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,518
Right, love. What's for tea?
210
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,352
Evening, all.
211
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:43,068
- Everything all right?
- l think you should go upstairs, David.
212
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,474
Karen! What's going on?
213
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,318
Hello, Joshy.
214
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,674
- What?
- Look again, David.
215
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,075
DAVlD: Oh, my God!
216
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,879
l was only playing.
217
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,111
Hey, l told you this would work out, didn't l?
218
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,315
- What would?
- Eh?
219
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,318
What would?
220
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,072
Me stopping here.
221
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,879
The first six hours have gone OK, yeah.
222
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,916
Well, so far so good, then.
223
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:33,239
Hey, if you're getting up, put the kettle on.
While you're at it, bung a tea bag in a mug.
224
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,039
And for you, l'll even add milk and one sugar.
225
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,116
Oooooh.
226
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,116
(Sighs)
227
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,196
(ltalian accent) lt's all booked.
228
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,475
Venice? Ooooh!
229
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,795
We fly out Friday evening after you finish work.
Back on Monday morning.
230
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,071
Oh, l don't know. What about Adam?
231
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,118
- lt's all right. Pete said he'll look after him.
PETE: Jen!
232
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,714
- What?
- Where have the tea bags gone?
233
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,951
- lt's your cupboard now. Mine are over there.
- Eh?
234
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:22,674
Go on, then.
Use these till you get yourself sorted.
235
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,076
Happy Christmas.
236
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,391
They're beautiful.
237
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,392
- l bet they're a handful, though.
- Yeah. Two handfuls.
238
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,755
Yeah, not that David's held them much.
239
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,956
- Work's just gone ballistic.
- Yeah. Right.
240
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,991
How's my big mate Josh enjoying
having two baby sisters?
241
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,991
(Blows raspberry)
242
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,911
Aye.
243
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,718
A bit jealous, is he?
244
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,439
We were rather hoping we might discuss that.
245
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,839
(Mouths)
246
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,990
Come on. Let's get you something to eat.
247
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:04,590
The fact is, Josh has been displaying
some antisocial tendencies towards the girls.
248
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,116
- Murderous.
- David, that's a bit much.
249
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,111
Manslaughter?
250
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:14,034
There was an incident involving an iron.
l think he just feels a bit pushed out.
251
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,874
We were wondering if maybe
he could spend a couple of days with you.
252
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,633
Because you don't want him to feel pushed out?
253
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,870
No, it was his idea. He says he wants to.
254
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,837
And we want to indulge him.
255
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,717
You mean, you're serious?
256
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,509
Yeah. Just for a couple of days,
while we get the twins settled in.
257
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,672
And then, when he comes back,
we can give him more attention.
258
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,273
We thought we'd say it's a holiday.
259
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,271
Who for?
260
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,113
Look, guys, you know,
we'd love to help you, but...
261
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,668
Adam's right.
We would absolutely love to help you.
262
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,069
What?!
263
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,598
What do we want a four-year-old for?
We've just got rid of Pete.
264
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,114
You said you would help my friends
without question.
265
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,353
Yeah, but David and Karen are my friends too.
266
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,432
Anyway, it was you Josh asked to stay with.
267
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,034
ls it my fault kids find me fun?
268
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,917
- All right, Rach?
- Good.
269
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,752
- Yeah, we'll be fine.
- Good luck.
270
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,355
- All set, big fella?
- l want to sit in the front!
271
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,396
Terrific.
272
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,073
- Do you like car washes, Josh?
- l've never been in one.
273
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:35,233
- Your dad washes his own car?
- They do it for him at work.
274
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,357
- Yeah, well. Of course.
- l want to sit in the front!
275
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,317
Do you want to drive?
276
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,753
Cool!
277
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,353
Come on, then.
278
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,840
- (Whispers)
JENNY: Where are you two off to?
279
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,115
We're going to the park. Gonna go on the slide.
280
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,839
- lt's not your weekend to have him.
- Jen!
281
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,319
Yeah. Have a good time.
282
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,949
- Would you like to come?
- l'm all right.
283
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,273
All right. Come on, tiger. That's it. Good boy.
284
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,597
Shall we go in the car?
285
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,432
Yeah.
286
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:21,348
- That's a good boy.
- Pete! Give us a sec.
287
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,869
That is a brilliant bit of driving, Josh. Fantastic.
288
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,837
Right. lnto the back with you.
289
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,751
Adam, you've not shut the sunroof.
290
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,796
Or my window.
291
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,836
(Clicks switch)
292
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,514
Did you switch the engine off, Josh?
293
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,797
Josh, where's my key?
294
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,711
Where is the key?
295
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,439
Adam, hurry up! Josh, give us the keys.
296
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,755
Give it to me! Give it to me, you little bollocks!
297
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,796
BOTH: Arrrrgggghhh!
298
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,716
RACHEL: Oh, Josh!
299
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,072
No! Josh! Shut your eyes!
300
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,235
RACHEL: Oh! Oh, my God!
301
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,239
Can you not get it out, Adam? Oh, my...
302
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,236
Oh, my God! Ooh!
303
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,832
Do you think he'll be all right?
304
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,115
Who? Josh? Yeah, he'll be fine.
305
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,317
- What are we doing on Wednesday?
- Er...baby-sitting?
306
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,994
So, we're not going out, then? Good.
307
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,913
- No. Why?
- l need to invite some people for dinner.
308
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:44,198
David, it may have escaped your attention,
darling, but l've just given birth to twins.
309
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,191
Well, Josh is out of the way.
310
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,999
Ramona's doing nothing
and Heather will lend a hand.
311
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,150
l could make one of my sherry trifles.
312
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,549
Some people will be driving, you know.
313
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,596
What people exactly?
314
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,193
Oh, just a few business contacts.
315
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,113
Business? l thought this was going to be fun.
316
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,111
l rather hoped you might be helping.
317
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,997
You mean, l wasn't going to be invited?
318
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:07,629
Of course you'd be welcome,
but you said yourself it wouldn't be much fun.
319
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,280
lt beats standing over the stove all night.
320
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:12,920
Right. So, that's six, then.
321
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,518
lncluding Heather.
322
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,068
You'd better get some more wine in.
323
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,108
At least we didn't have the hot wax.
324
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,836
(Phone rings)
325
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,390
Mountjoy Funeral Services.
How might we be of assistance?
326
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,630
Hello? Hello?
327
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,358
Hello?
328
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,675
Line just went dead... Ahh.
329
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,671
This isn't really working out, is it, Mrs Gifford?
330
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,672
Look, l'm sorry, Mr Mountjoy.
l know l keep mentioning death...
331
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,194
That isn't actually what l was referring to.
332
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,030
Right.
333
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,634
l've had complaints, Mrs Gifford.
334
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,030
ls this about Mrs Cunningham?
Sorry, but that woman was impossible.
335
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,031
That woman had just lost her husband.
336
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:13,069
She wanted him cremated, dressed like
Elvis Presley. The Vegas years! Come on!
337
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,628
- This isn't about Mrs Cunningham.
- Oh.
338
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,713
l've had a gentleman on from the council.
339
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,711
He was almost in tears.
340
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,792
- Claimed you called him a Nazi.
- That's not true.
341
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,032
lt was ''fascist''.
The thing is, they've got ludicrous rules.
342
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:33,636
You know, no headstones,
no landscaping, no angels with wings.
343
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,029
Mr Mountjoy, people want choice.
344
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:40,352
The freedom to bid farewell to their loved ones
the way they see fit.
345
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,796
lncluding dressed like Elvis Presley.
The Vegas years or otherwise.
346
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:51,192
l really think you'd be better suited to a job
that doesn't involve dealing with the public.
347
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,076
(Moans of pleasure)
348
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:15,349
Hello. Can l sleep with you?
349
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,228
- What?!
- Mummy and Daddy let me sometimes.
350
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,276
No. No, Josh.
351
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:25,433
Go back to bed, please. That's a good boy.
352
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,231
(Both laugh)
353
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:36,394
ADAM: ''Mummy and Daddy let me sometimes.''
- Sssh! Shhhhh!
354
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:38,190
Please.
355
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:21,593
Rach rang.
l think they're making real progress with Josh.
356
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:26,435
He's even called two of his toys Ellie and Olivia.
Mind you, he keeps pulling their heads off.
357
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,553
That was Felix Bishop. His date's not well.
358
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,631
- They're not coming?
- She isn't.
359
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,554
l mean, great to tell us
half an hour before they're due to arrive.
360
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,030
ls that the time?
l must go and put some more make-up on.
361
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:43,439
More?
362
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,272
She already looks like a cheap tart.
363
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,191
That is my mother you're talking about.
364
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,872
Yeah, l know. l'm sorry.
365
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,632
Yeah. l take back ''cheap''.
366
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:56,236
Felix and Robert are due here within the hour
and the only company l can offer is your mother.
367
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:57,958
We need another girl, don't we?
368
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:03,273
Where are we going to find someone suitably
attractive and charming at such short notice?
369
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,316
No, no, no, no, no, no.
370
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,157
Thank you very much, but l'm going out tonight.
371
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,515
- What?
- Sorry.
372
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,318
How about Rachel?
373
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,358
What? And leave Josh alone with Adam?
374
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,271
Actually, l know someone.
375
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,235
- Have you eaten, love?
- No. Not yet.
376
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,869
Do you fancy a curry? l'm doing one for myself,
but l could always do a bit more.
377
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,996
Yeah, all right. Go on, then.
378
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,397
lt's working out quite well,
this living apart together, isn't it?
379
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,470
And it'll save you money.
Which, given your situation...
380
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,516
l start a new job tomorrow, Pete.
381
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,873
Oh. Every little helps, doesn't it?
382
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,597
Do you think l should still look
for somewhere else or stay here?
383
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,592
Pete...l don't know.
384
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,878
l don't want an answer now.
Wait till the end of the month.
385
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,430
Or, better still, start of next month,
386
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,069
we could sit down, have a chat,
see what the future holds.
387
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,832
What? Whether you should be my lodger?
388
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:12,554
Whatever.
389
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,557
All right. We'll see how it goes.
390
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,518
- Great! Great!
- (Phone rings)
391
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:23,269
One minute to Coronation Street.
Should we have tea in the lounge?
392
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,316
Good idea. Hello?
393
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,470
Oh, hello.
394
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,831
Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah.
395
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,196
That'd be great.
Give us five minutes, l'll get changed.
396
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,748
See you later. All right. Bye.
397
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,957
Listen, forget about that curry.
Dinner at David and Karen's.
398
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,996
Oh, what? Now?
399
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,475
Oh, well.
l suppose we could always tape the Street.
400
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,516
Not you. Just me.
401
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,356
You don't mind baby-sitting, do you?
402
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,789
You know l said l was doing a boat?
403
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,871
lt's a dinosaur now.
404
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,795
Oh, bollocks! (Laughs guiltily)
405
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,876
Still seeing who can burp the loudest?
406
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,191
Well, no, l was under the impression
that someone didn't approve,
407
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,669
so we're doing something educational now.
408
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,399
- What's Adam been teaching you, Josh?
- Bollocks.
409
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,319
Excellent. We'll continue this in the morning.
410
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,231
lt's way past your bedtime.
411
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,880
No. Not yet. (Pretends to cry)
412
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,916
Do you know what, Josh? This is really good.
413
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,911
- lt is, isn't it? Yeah.
- Brilliant.
414
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,558
ls it yours?
415
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,631
Yeah.
416
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,790
Come on, you two. Bed. Now.
417
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,518
Up we go.
418
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,238
God. Women, eh?
419
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,117
Yeah.
420
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:48,639
FELlX: Anteater walks into a pub, right?
Walks up to the bar, orders a pint of bitter.
421
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,349
The barman pulls him a pint,
puts it down in front of him.
422
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,034
He says, ''All right, sir?'' He says, ''Yeah. ''
423
00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:58,715
He comes back later, and he says,
''ls everything all right, sir?''
424
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,756
The anteater said, ''Yeah, it's fine.''
425
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,593
And he goes away.
He comes back a couple of minutes later.
426
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,399
And he says,
''Are you sure everything's all right, sir?''
427
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:10,917
And the anteater says, ''Yes, it's fine.
l wish you'd just leave me alone.''
428
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,072
And the barman says,
''Oh, well, why the long face, then?''
429
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,513
(Giggles)
430
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,160
- (Doorbell)
- Excuse me.
431
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:22,838
Man walks into a pub.
432
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,310
- The same pub?
- The same pub.
433
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,719
Hi.
434
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,518
Jenny! What brings you here?
435
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,831
l thought l was invited for dinner.
436
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,516
Of course. Yes, of course. Come in.
437
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:37,919
Right.
438
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,916
Sorry. Yes, come in.
439
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,074
Right. Jenny, let me introduce you to everyone.
440
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,230
Er...this is Felix.
441
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,276
Felix Bishop.
442
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,678
The pleasure's mine.
443
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,318
DAVlD: And this is Heather...
444
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:02,430
..who's Karen's mother.
445
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,352
And this is Robert...
446
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,076
..who works with Felix.
447
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,194
Jenny is... Jenny's a friend of ours.
448
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,430
Available at no notice.
449
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,875
David...
450
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,952
Right. Well, if you'll excuse me, l'll just erm...
451
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,032
Felix was just telling a joke.
452
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,634
Jokes? Great.
453
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,352
You invited Jenny?!
454
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,351
Oh, is she here already?
455
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,830
The last time we invited her,
she emptied a fire extinguisher over my boss.
456
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,876
David, we haven't got fire extinguishers.
457
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,918
This is supposed to be a dinner party,
not a business function.
458
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,355
Well, we'll be talking business.
459
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,390
Briefly.
460
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,835
- l know another one...
- What do you chaps do, then?
461
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,593
- Let me guess. Second-hand cars?
- lnternet.
462
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:02,310
Oh, bugger. Sorry.
lt's just...at least l know what a car is.
463
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,551
l'm the same. l can't even turn a computer on.
464
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,876
- ls that your job, then, Robert?
- Er, no. lt's my company.
465
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,190
Right.
466
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,748
So, do you work for him or...
467
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,638
- Felix is what's known as an incubator.
- Yeah. l bet he is.
468
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:24,829
What he does, right, is...he looks for people
with a good idea, like me, then exploits us.
469
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,355
Exploits the idea.
470
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,830
- l raise the money to make it happen.
- Oh, is that it?
471
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,115
Do you know how much he's worth?
472
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,236
l dunno. lnternet...
473
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,311
Got to be...£20 million!
474
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,830
That was last week. Try 30.
475
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,233
l hate having to pander to these people.
476
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,959
l've had to work hard to achieve...all this.
477
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:02,831
Robert just switches on his laptop and bingo!
He's a multimillionaire. There is no justice.
478
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:04,638
What's your point exactly?
479
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:08,793
They're looking to appoint another firm of
consultants and we're in with a shout.
480
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,839
We were, but with the charm offensive
in the hands of your mother and Jenny,
481
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,276
- l might as well log off now.
- David, l'm sure they'll behave.
482
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,635
Oh, l'm absolutely starving.
483
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,318
Thanks for inviting us...Karen.
484
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,472
- lt's lovely to see you.
- Hey, that Robert's a bit of all right.
485
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,794
David, there are people dying of thirst in here.
486
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,671
And he's filthy rich.
487
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,876
What the hell? l might just have a crack at him.
488
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,672
Thank you.
489
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:43,070
Now...David. Here's a thing.
490
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:49,030
Did you know that ''mother-in-law''
is an anagram...of ''woman Hitler''?
491
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:07,037
And ''middle-aged man'' is...
''reactionary old fart''.
492
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,351
No, it's not.
493
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,192
No, there's no F in ''middle-aged man''.
494
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:17,831
There's no effing wine left either, David.
Get some more will you, darling?
495
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:25,755
l...er...l was just wondering
if l'd left any aftershave behind.
496
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:31,312
All right. So, at ten at night with your child asleep
in bed, you thought you'd pop over and check?
497
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,958
lnteresting.
498
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,951
ls that so unbelievable?
499
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,918
Given your record for personal hygiene?
500
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,957
Actually, l...l just need someone to talk to.
501
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,519
Pete.
502
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,909
Hmm. That was lovely.
503
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,716
Can l ask you a personal question?
504
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,360
What's it like to be a millionaire?
505
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,590
lt's the first question l'm asked by women.
506
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,148
- What's the second?
- Am l gay?
507
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,879
- Are you?
- That's for you to find out.
508
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,151
What is it like, then?
509
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,276
l'm only a millionaire on paper.
510
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,828
l didn't think you'd carry that much cash on you.
511
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,831
And no, l'm not gay.
512
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:17,391
And the answer to your next question is...
no, l'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
513
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,552
- l wasn't going to ask you that.
- You'd have asked David.
514
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,676
God, you're very confident.
515
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,475
l guess that is what being a millionaire's like.
516
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,471
Only on paper.
517
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,154
What's wrong with you?
Why haven't you got a girlfriend?
518
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,549
l ain't got much time for women.
519
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,551
l mean...
520
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,519
l haven't got much time, you know,
what with the business.
521
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:42,149
- Married to your work.
- But one day l'm hoping to get a divorce.
522
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,957
The thing with
most management consultants, Felix,
523
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,953
is when they know they've got your business,
they don't try as hard.
524
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,999
They put in a junior team.
Faces change from meeting to meeting.
525
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:01,790
Now, at DZQ, we believe
that building relations is vitally important.
526
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:09,033
Speaking of relations, David,
what's your mother-in-law's situation?
527
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,596
l think Felix likes me.
528
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,352
Yeah. l wonder whether Dad would like him.
529
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:20,396
l've left your father, Karen.
530
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,837
Sorry, l hope you didn't mind me
bringing little Adam along.
531
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,311
- No. No. Josh is usually up around this time.
- Yeah. He wets his bed.
532
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,551
Playing with little Adam might take his mind off it.
533
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,956
So?
534
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:45,799
So...l think...me and Jenny
might be getting back together again.
535
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,759
Karen mentioned
something about your husband.
536
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,478
Been asking questions?
537
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,516
No... No.
538
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:01,435
His name's Pete. And, at the moment,
he's at home with our little boy.
539
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,111
Right. l see.
540
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,873
You probably don't. We're separated.
541
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,793
Not very effectively.
We live under the same roof, but...
542
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,438
Separate beds?
543
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,232
That's a very personal question.
544
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,276
And l'm very sorry.
545
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,155
Separate bedrooms, actually.
546
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,433
Would you like some more coffee, you two?
547
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,750
l think we'd better.
548
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,751
Do you think l'm mad?
549
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,799
Maybe l'm misreading the signals, but since
l moved back in, we've been getting on well.
550
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,189
ls that how Jenny sees it,
that you've moved back in?
551
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,158
She calls me the lodger.
But that's just a running gag.
552
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,037
Well, where is she tonight?
553
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,712
Dinner at David and Karen's.
554
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,588
- We weren't invited.
- Oh, no. lt's a last-minute thing.
555
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,830
They needed a single woman
to make up numbers.
556
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,036
But is Jenny a single woman?
557
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,031
Er...maybe not for much longer.
558
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,908
We said we'd sort out our living arrangements
at the beginning of next month.
559
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:01,630
l'm quietly confident that l won't be sending out
any change of address cards.
560
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,751
- So where did you park the Porsche, then?
- Over there.
561
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,429
Blimey! l was only joking.
562
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,512
Right.
563
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,149
Jenny...can l see you again?
564
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,835
Ha! lt's my designated driver.
565
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:32,911
Ready to hit the road?
566
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,636
l should go. See you.
567
00:34:36,720 --> 00:34:38,676
Jenny...
568
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,229
Was it something you said?
569
00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:48,358
Whoops!
570
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,029
Mum...
571
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,076
Not now, Karen.
572
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,871
Thanks for listening, fellas.
573
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,315
lt's nice to hear someone else's take on things.
574
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,709
Don't jump to conclusions too quickly, Pete.
575
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,711
Oh, come on, Rach.
576
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,076
Adam's right.
l think we know Jen a bit better than you.
577
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,469
- What's this?
- lt looks like dog hair.
578
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,516
We haven't got a dog.
579
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,158
(Electric razor buzzes)
580
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:21,355
Josh!
581
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,638
Oh, my God!
582
00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:43,073
Well, l must say, that went better than expected.
583
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,913
Robert and Jenny hit it off.
584
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,310
And Felix seemed very taken with your mother.
585
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,868
She's left my dad.
586
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,996
- What?!
- Apparently.
587
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,196
She hasn't said why yet.
588
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,952
Darling, that's terrible.
589
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,389
So, she'd be free to see Felix again.
590
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:06,792
- David! My mother has left my father.
- That's my point.
591
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,189
So how do you think that makes me feel?
592
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,271
What about my dad?
593
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,194
Yeah. l'm sorry, darling.
That was very thoughtless of me. Poor Jack.
594
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,475
David, you don't even like him.
595
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,677
No, But l wouldn't wish a failed marriage on him.
596
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,990
- Not even if it's good for business?
- No.
597
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,593
No, of course not.
598
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,796
We can't take him home looking like this.
599
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,880
Maybe if we brushed his hair across...
600
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,951
What? Like Jackie Charlton?
601
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:47,996
Bobby, actually.
602
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,949
All right. We could cut a bit off the other side.
603
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:52,632
What would be the point of that?
604
00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:56,235
At least it would look symmetrical!
People might think it's a fashion.
605
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,430
God! You know, it's got to look better than this.
606
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,079
Oh, my...!
607
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,869
Funnily enough, it doesn't. Give them here.
608
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,269
lt's not bad. Just the one error.
609
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,276
Oh, sorry. l did... l did check it.
610
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,032
Looks all right to me.
611
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,270
No. See? You got this bit wrong.
612
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,875
- Oh, no, actually. You did.
- l'm sorry?
613
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,428
Well, ''to kindly wait'' is a split infinitive.
614
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,670
lt should be '''l would ask you kindly to wait.''
615
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:39,196
That suggests l'm asking him kindly,
whereas in fact the opposite's true.
616
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:44,908
- lt suggests you would ask him to kindly wait.
- Precisely.
617
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,468
- Pardon?
- To kindly wait. Change it, please.
618
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:50,518
Right. lt's just it's grammatically incorrect.
619
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,750
- Change it!
- (Phone rings)
620
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,476
Geraldine Hughes.
621
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,310
ls your name Jenny?
622
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,913
Yeah.
623
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,558
Er...hello?
624
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,359
- You never answered my question.
- What?
625
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:08,998
About seeing you again.
626
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:10,593
Who's this?
627
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:12,636
Robert...Brown.
628
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:15,751
We met at Karen and David's last night.
629
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,355
Oh, right. Hello, Bob.com!
630
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,556
Erm...hang on a sec.
631
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,358
Sorry, it's personal.
632
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,078
How did you find me?
633
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,071
l rang your temp agency.
634
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,913
Very reluctant to give out your number.
l used all my charm.
635
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,558
What? And that was enough?
636
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:33,631
l had to pretend l wanted to employ you.
637
00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:37,190
Well, thank you very much, but l have a job.
638
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,510
Erm...excuse me for butting in.
639
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,352
But that's where you're wrong.
640
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,078
Hang on a sec. l'll just be a minute.
641
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:47,790
Good. All the sooner you can change
this letter, get your coat and go!
642
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,033
Hello.
643
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,839
Are you free for lunch?
644
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:01,876
Erm...
645
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,560
As it happens, l think l might be.
646
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,518
l had no idea you and Dad were unhappy.
647
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,716
We haven't been getting on for some time.
648
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,677
The drinking's been a problem.
649
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,671
Well, l had noticed.
650
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,352
No, not me! Him.
651
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,351
Dad's drinking?
652
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,318
- Why don't l know about any of this?
- l'm telling you now.
653
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:26,113
You've your own life.
654
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,954
Do you want us on the phone every few days,
complaining about each other?
655
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,360
We've had a good run. 35 years.
656
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,114
And maybe half of them were happy.
657
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,156
Don't talk like it's over.
658
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:43,795
Do you mind if l stay
with you and David just for a while?
659
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,235
Just till l've thought things through?
660
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,834
Mum, you're welcome to stay
as long as you like.
661
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:52,515
Just promise me
you'll try and sort things out with Dad.
662
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,116
Oh, look at those shoes!
663
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,952
Do you think they're the sort of thing
Felix might like?
664
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:08,631
Mum and Dad'll be excited to see you.
They're gonna love us!
665
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:11,794
Joshy!
666
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,917
- Hello, Ramona. Are David and Karen in?
- Yeah.
667
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,956
That's...a pity.
668
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,758
Heather, you're looking good.
Something special?
669
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,398
Dinner with Felix Bishop.
670
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,391
Really?
671
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,357
Excellent!
672
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:33,029
l mean...erm... Ahhh! Look who's here.
673
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,269
KAREN: Hello, darling.
- Hello, Joshy.
674
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,193
- Big lad.
- What a lovely new hat.
675
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,158
Yeah. There's a reason for that, Karen.
676
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,197
Ooooh!
677
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,796
(Shrieks)
678
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,110
So, how did they react?
679
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,873
Pretty well, really. All things considered.
680
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,554
Apart from Ramona. Latin blood. Mad.
681
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:12,394
- Olive oil?
- Oh, yeah. Extra virgin olive oil.
682
00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:17,151
Yeah. That's the one.
683
00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:18,878
Jenny was cool as well.
684
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,474
l thought she'd go mad
when the ink wouldn't come out.
685
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,118
Yeah, l bet you did.
686
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,714
Does that papaya feel ripe to you?
687
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,472
No.
688
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,710
No...Yeah.
689
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,951
She just smiled and said,
''There's more important things in life.''
690
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,270
You could take that as an encouraging sign.
691
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,590
Oh, l do. l do. Now, smoked salmon.
692
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,797
Norwegian wild or Scottish farmed?
693
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,440
What are we doing here?
694
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,750
Tomorrow is a very significant day.
695
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,556
May 7th?
696
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,949
Quince jelly...
697
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:59,109
Joshy, your little sisters have a surprise for you.
698
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,350
Do you want to see what it is now?
699
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,396
Go on!
700
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,758
Wow!
701
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:07,796
RAMONA: Wow!
702
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,871
lt's a present from the girls.
703
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:11,075
Great!
704
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:17,470
That was Karen. Apparently,
Josh thinks his sisters are wonderful.
705
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,632
- You mean David's bought him off?
- Yeah, it sounds like it.
706
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:24,076
They're storing up trouble. Spoiling him now.
707
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,116
Mm. Rod for their own backs.
708
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,548
l think we handled the wee lad quite well.
709
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,790
We did, didn't we?
710
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,791
Firm but fair. That's the secret, you know.
711
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:38,916
Establish your boundaries and stick to them.
712
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,117
- Except when you gave him all that chocolate.
- That was different.
713
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,115
l don't know how. But it was.
714
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,270
lt was hell having him here though, wasn't it?
715
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,316
lt was a nightmare.
716
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,470
Just imagine that 24 hours a day.
717
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,073
Drive you mad.
718
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,596
lt is quiet without him, isn't it?
719
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:05,515
Hmm.
720
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:10,998
l think l miss him.
721
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:13,718
Do you?
722
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,631
Well, no...you know, l mean...
723
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:17,312
l miss him too.
724
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,353
What?
725
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,238
- What?
- You were going to say something.
726
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,629
Oh...yeah.
727
00:43:31,720 --> 00:43:33,278
Oh, no, forget it.
728
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:42,196
Well, it's just that...
729
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:50,114
No...no...no. lt's a crazy idea.
730
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,714
- Us?
- Yeah.
731
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,392
Do you want to?
732
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,836
- Do you?
- lt's a hell of a decision to take.
733
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,070
Unless you don't take it.
734
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:04,073
You know...just leave things to chance.
735
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,638
And you wouldn't mind?
736
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:14,716
No.
737
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,033
l'm glad you said that, because...
738
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,908
you know our special friend
that comes to stay now and again?
739
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,833
- Pete?
- No, my period. lt's late.
740
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,070
How late?
741
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,628
A week or so.
742
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,118
Oh, my God!
743
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:42,078
Yeah. Well...
744
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,028
May 7th.
745
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:43,636
Oops!
746
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:58,273
Da-da! Happy anniversary, Jen. Ha-ha!
747
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,271
Oh, God!
748
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:04,353
Look. l kinda thought
that we wouldn't be celebrating this any more.
749
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:07,159
Well, why not?
We're still together. After a fashion.
750
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,756
Well, yeah. But...
751
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,310
Oh, come on, love. Sit down.
Your salmon and scrambled egg's getting cold.
752
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:15,958
We've got loads to discuss.
753
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:17,951
Look, Pete, l'd...
754
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:19,996
(Doorbell)
755
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,556
Hang on a sec.
756
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,560
Look, Pete, this is too much. lt really is.
757
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,796
l didn't send those.
758
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,518
(Mobile rings)
759
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:43,714
Hello?
760
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:48,033
Oh, yeah. Yeah. l've just got 'em.
761
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:53,478
Yeah, listen, l can't really talk, to be honest.
Yeah. Oh, they're lovely.
762
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,152
Let me give you a ring.
763
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:58,118
l'll give you a ring in about half an hour.
764
00:46:58,168 --> 00:47:02,718
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