Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:05,670
♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,284
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,394
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
9
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,872
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:46,678
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:54,753
I ain't wrong.
13
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,021
I'm gonna find
that Sports Illustrated,
14
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:57,288
I'm gonna get that article,
15
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,691
and I'm gonna show it to you
in black and white there
16
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:00,892
and make you eat your words.
17
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,060
Get away from me.
18
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,062
The magazine is in this house
someplace.
19
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,297
Edith, up there, are you looking
for that magazine?
20
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,332
EDITH: Yeah,
I'm looking, Archie!
21
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:09,868
I don't hear you
looking, Edith.
22
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,169
But I'm looking!
23
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,805
I don't hear you
looking, Edith!
24
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,239
Daddy, why are you
wasting your time
25
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,975
looking for that
dumb magazine?
26
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,610
Why? To show your dumb
husband a thing or two.
27
00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,212
I got a quarter bet
with him here
28
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,248
that Harvey Haddox pitched
a perfect no-hit ball game.
29
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,449
Archie, he pitched
a perfect game
30
00:01:25,451 --> 00:01:26,651
for 12 innings.
31
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,586
They got a hit off him
in the 13th,
32
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,587
and he lost the game.
33
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,588
That's not a perfect game.
34
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,256
I can still remember
the headline
35
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,725
out of that article there:
36
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,961
"The day that Harvey Haddox was
robbed of the no-hit game."
37
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:40,865
That's right! He was robbed
of the no-hit game,
38
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,500
so he didn't pitch
the no-hit game.
39
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,202
Certainly he did!
40
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:45,536
If you was robbed
of something,
41
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,338
you had to have it
in the first place
42
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,007
in order to have somebody
rob you of it.
43
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,177
Look what I found!
44
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:54,345
Good, good. Give me it.
What the hell is that?
45
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,247
My five-year diary.
46
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:59,150
I don't want that!
Get away from me!
47
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:00,518
Ma, you keep a diary?
48
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,654
Oh, not anymore,
but during the war,
49
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,825
every day while your father
was in the Army--
50
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,626
How many times
have I got to tell you?
51
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,729
Air Corps, Air Corps,
Air Corps!
52
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:11,996
Oh, yeah, that's right.
53
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:14,298
You know
what I used to call Archie?
54
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,400
My fly-boy.
55
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,336
[GIGGLING]
56
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,337
[LAUGHING]
57
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:22,607
Aw, clam up, you.
58
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:23,975
I know what you done.
59
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,243
You hid that magazine
60
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:27,045
so you wouldn't
have to pay me the quarter.
61
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,179
Get outta here.
62
00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:29,647
Listen to this:
63
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:33,885
"May 21, 1943.
64
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:38,757
Dear diary: Had a letter today
from Archie B."
65
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:42,493
That's "B",
shorthand for Bunker.
66
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:48,466
"Archie said I shouldn't sit
under the apple tree
67
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,969
with anyone else but him.
68
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,904
Isn't that romantic?"
69
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,606
It is!
70
00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,676
"P.S. I don't have
an apple tree,
71
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:03,014
so I won't sit
under my rubber plant."
72
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:08,319
1943, she was still in training
for her dingbat wings.
73
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,421
Come on, Mom,
why don't you sit down
74
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:11,455
and read us some more?
75
00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:12,657
All right...
76
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:15,927
A-ha! I think I know
where that magazine is!
77
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,528
MIKE: Why don't you
forget it? You're wrong.
78
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,530
Get away from me, you.
79
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,833
Here's a good one.
80
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,969
"September 4th, 1943.
81
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:29,140
"Dear diary:
Archie was in town on a pass.
82
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,609
"He took me to a U.S.O. dance,
83
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,179
and the funniest thing happened.
84
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,914
"I'll never forget it.
85
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,516
"But I'm tired now, dear diary,
86
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,719
so I promise
to tell you tomorrow."
87
00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:55,300
I wonder what happened.
88
00:03:56,668 --> 00:03:58,269
Ma, why don't you
read what you wrote
89
00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,270
the next day?
90
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:03,007
Oh, yeah!
91
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,209
Here it is:
92
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:07,111
"September 5, 1943.
93
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:11,015
"Dear diary:
It rained all day today.
94
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,417
Nothing much to tell you."
95
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:19,690
What happened to
the funniest thing
96
00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:20,825
you said you'd
never forget?
97
00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:25,063
I guess I forgot.
98
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,965
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
99
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,834
Look what I found upstairs.
100
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,169
What is it, Archie?
101
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,037
Ah, whilst looking
for my magazine,
102
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,805
which I didn't find,
103
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:37,175
I ran across a hunk
of homemade poetry.
104
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,110
Hey, hey, hey,
where did you get that?
105
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,779
Oh! In that box of junk
in the bottom of your closet.
106
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,281
Give me that.
That's mine.
107
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,884
What do you mean? Don't you want
to share it with the world?
108
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,685
You got no right
going into my room.
109
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,188
Hold it, hotshot.
110
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,757
You're only borrowing
that room from me
111
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:56,861
because Gloria happens
to be your roommate.
112
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,462
But the room
is still in my house,
113
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,798
which means I got a right
to search it.
114
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,234
We're living in the
Watergate Hotel here.
115
00:05:07,172 --> 00:05:09,540
You got no right snooping
around in my things!
116
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:12,243
I was only looking
for one of my things,
117
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,280
and I found this thing.
118
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,681
And wait till you get
an earful of it there, Edith.
119
00:05:17,683 --> 00:05:19,951
"No girl's as sweet
As my true love
120
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,319
You were sent
From heaven above"
121
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,586
All right, give it.
Come on.
122
00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:24,923
"You fill my days...
All right, come on.
123
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:28,393
"With sheer
delight... Hand it over, will you?
124
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,295
"Throughout the day,
Throughout the night...
125
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,695
All right, come on.
Hand it over.
126
00:05:31,697 --> 00:05:35,266
Ah, we got a regular
Edgar Allan Polack here.
127
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,267
Come on, now!
128
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:37,468
I'm not kidding around!
129
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,003
Give me that. That
poem is personal.
130
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,271
Personal?
I'll say it's personal.
131
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,273
Hey, Edith, wait till you
hear the rest of this.
132
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:43,641
Oh, Archie...
133
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,743
"A touch of your lips,
And my heart's on fire.
134
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:46,978
A glimpse of your--"
135
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,247
I'm going to say
the word "chests" here
136
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:52,917
because we're in mixed company--
137
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,287
"A glimpse of your chests,
And I'm mad with desire"
138
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,889
Oh, my, I'm all goose bumps.
139
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,191
Ah, shut up.
140
00:06:01,726 --> 00:06:02,760
Look, Archie,
I'm telling you,
141
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,728
I put up with a lot
around here,
142
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:06,931
but there is one thing
I will not put up with,
143
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,333
and that is having
my privacy invaded.
144
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:09,467
Whoop-de-do.
145
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,336
Well, then, what about
my privacy, Daddy?
146
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:12,937
Michael wrote
that poem to me.
147
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,172
To you, huh?
148
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,707
Then why does it say
up on top, "To Vicky"?
149
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,176
Let me see that.
150
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,211
ARCHIE: Hey!
151
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,746
It looks to me like the Meathead
was glimpsing a few chests
152
00:06:22,748 --> 00:06:24,748
before he run across yours.
153
00:06:30,055 --> 00:06:31,255
Who's Vicky?
154
00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:36,194
Ah, it's nobody, just a girl
I used to know a long time ago.
155
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,595
Michael, you said
you wrote this poem
156
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:39,163
especially to me,
157
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,233
and it wasn't "To Vicky"
then, it was "To Gloria."
158
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,136
Well, yeah, but...
it was my best poem!
159
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,337
I wanted you to have it!
160
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,972
Michael,
you lied to me.
161
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:50,141
You never even really
wrote me a poem.
162
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,843
Gloria, I did better than that.
I married you!
163
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:54,245
That wasn't better.
164
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,680
You should have
kept writing poems.
165
00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:58,483
Hey, I don't have
to take that from you!
166
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,118
What else have you
lied to me about?
167
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,886
Nothing!
That's a lie!
168
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:03,521
Gloria. please,
what do you want from me?
169
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,522
[SOBS] Michael!
170
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,825
You gave me a used poem!
171
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,594
Gloria, your father acts
like a storm trooper,
172
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,263
he turns our bedroom
into a police state,
173
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,298
and all you care about is
a lousy poem?!
174
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,100
Because you lied to me!
175
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,169
How can I ever
trust you again?!
176
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,603
What about trusting your father?
177
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,005
How are you gonna
trust him again?
178
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,207
The next thing you know,
he's gonna be bugging our bed!
179
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:25,976
The only bug in your bed
is when you hop into it.
180
00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:29,013
Oh, that's it! That's it.
181
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,282
I don't have to take that
from you.
182
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,185
What do I need this for?
I must be crazy!
183
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,387
I'm not gonna stay in
this house another minute.
184
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,256
Between you and your father,
you're driving me crazy!
185
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,491
Out there, I will be able
to get a little freedom.
186
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:42,293
I will be able to get
a little privacy.
187
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,296
You'll be able to apply
for a little welfare too.
188
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,031
Goodbye, goodbye.
189
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,466
You can send my
clothes to Lionel's.
190
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,000
Archie, he's leaving!
Say something.
191
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:50,868
Bye!
192
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:54,472
[YELLING INCOHERENTLY]
193
00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,043
[BAWLING] Ma...
194
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:05,283
Oh, oh...
195
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,717
[CHUCKLES]
196
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:09,587
EDITH: He'll be back as soon
as he gets over being mad.
197
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:12,123
Yeah, which should be
around dinnertime.
198
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,991
Shut up!
What?
199
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,659
Shut up!
200
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,695
If you hadn't been snooping
where you didn't belong,
201
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,531
I wouldn't have found out
what I didn't want to know!
202
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,533
You've been trying to get
Michael out of this house
203
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:23,801
for two years!
204
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,035
Well, you got your wish,
205
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:26,471
and I hope you're happy,
you monster!
206
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:27,572
What?
207
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,207
Did you hear what
your daughter said
208
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,508
to her father?
209
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:34,044
Yeah. I couldn't help it.
I was standing right here.
210
00:08:35,947 --> 00:08:37,415
What's she yelling
at me for?
211
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,882
That ain't my fault!
212
00:08:38,884 --> 00:08:40,818
Hey, little girl,
it ain't my fault
213
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,820
that the Meathead
only had one poem in him,
214
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:46,991
and then he spread it around
like fertilizer...
215
00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:48,726
which, by the way, it is.
216
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,996
Oh, Archie, I think
you were wrong
217
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,897
to go into their room.
218
00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:56,967
After all, they got
a right to their privacy.
219
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:58,869
Well, I happen to agree
with my government.
220
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,671
If you ain't got nothing
to be ashamed of,
221
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,206
you don't need no privacy.
222
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:06,344
Mike's poem is personal,
like my diary.
223
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:09,547
Oh! But if I want to read
your diary, I can read it.
224
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,382
[GASPS] No, you can't!
225
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:15,719
My diary is private.
226
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,922
Are you telling me that
you would keep secrets from me?
227
00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:20,724
Some secrets, yes.
228
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,127
No secrets, no!
229
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,395
We'll have this out
right now.
230
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,996
I'm your husband,
and I say to you,
231
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:27,365
"Give me that diary."
232
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,401
[GASPS] And I'm your wife,
and I say, "no."
233
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:34,172
GLORIA: I'm going to Trudy's.
234
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,607
Hold it, there, hold it.
You ain't going no place.
235
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:39,743
Take your hands off me.
236
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,844
Take your hands off her!
237
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:41,845
I didn't touch her!
238
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,013
Gloria...
239
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:44,649
I'm sorry, Ma,
but there's nothing
240
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,184
to stay here for
anymore!
241
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:49,554
[GASPS] Archie!
Ain't you gonna stop her?
242
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:50,588
No, I ain't!
243
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,455
Oh!
244
00:09:52,824 --> 00:09:54,225
Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
245
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,560
Where are you going?
246
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:58,329
I'm her mother.
That's where I'm going.
247
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:03,133
Edith, you get
back inside this door...
248
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:04,335
That's more like it.
249
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,803
And sit down
in your chair here.
250
00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,805
We're going to have a little
talk about your daughter,
251
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,407
mouthing off to me
the way she done...
252
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,608
Who does she think she is--
253
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,475
[DOOR SLAMS]
254
00:10:21,786 --> 00:10:24,555
I'm in a nuthouse.
255
00:10:32,764 --> 00:10:35,433
No, operator, operator,
just listen to me, huh?
256
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:39,003
The name of the party
is Whiteman or Lightman
257
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,138
or something like that.
258
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,306
The first name is Trudy, see?
259
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,707
She lives
at one of them apartments
260
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:46,010
over there
on Northern Boulevard.
261
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,278
Uh, listen to me.
262
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,748
I just want the address there.
263
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,116
I can't give you that.
264
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:55,819
I'm trying
to find that out from you.
265
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:56,887
Whiteman, Lightman.
266
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:59,157
Can't you look--
267
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,991
Listen, can--
268
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,327
Listen, can--
269
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,629
[STAMMERS]
270
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,298
Forget it!
271
00:11:20,412 --> 00:11:23,481
Uh, hello there, Jefferson.
This is Archie Bunker here.
272
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,183
Uh, put Lionel
on the phone, huh?
273
00:11:27,386 --> 00:11:29,387
I know it's 1:00 a.m.,
274
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:32,156
But youse people don't sleep
on a Saturday night.
275
00:11:34,826 --> 00:11:36,427
Hold it, hold it, hold it,
hold it!
276
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,629
There's no call to be using
that kind of language here.
277
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,264
I didn't say nothing like...
278
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,799
L-Listen to me.
279
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,801
I'm just trying to find out
where my son-in-law is.
280
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,703
I think he's over there.
281
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,904
Aw, what do you mean,
282
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:50,241
you don't let whitey
on the premises?
283
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,510
I know he's over there. J--
284
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:55,045
Hello? Hello?
285
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,380
You crumb.
286
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,782
[DOORBELL RINGS]
287
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,618
Oh, well.
288
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:01,752
And about time.
289
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,954
I ought to let you
stay out there, Edith.
290
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:04,955
Oh, hi, Mr. Bunker.
291
00:12:04,957 --> 00:12:06,924
Oh, hiya, Lionel.
Where's Mike?
292
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,326
He went straight
home to my house.
293
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:09,594
We just came from a movie.
294
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,395
Well, then your old man
was lying to me.
295
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,630
I just called him up.
296
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,432
He told me on the phone
Mike wasn't there.
297
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,499
But he didn't lie.
298
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,101
I didn't tell my father
Mike was there.
299
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,303
He don't like the idea
of white folks in the house.
300
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:22,473
Yeah, oh.
301
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:25,976
How'd you get Mike in there,
with burnt caulk?
302
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:27,778
No, no, we snuck him
in the back way.
303
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,880
And he hid in the basement.
Yeah.
304
00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:32,450
Gee, if your old man's so touchy
about white people being there,
305
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,652
ain't you taking an awful chance
getting Mike in?
306
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,487
Well, I'm just
returning a favor.
307
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,488
What favor?
308
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:38,789
Well, during the
Civil War days,
309
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,458
some of you white
folks hid us out
310
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,692
when we ran away.
311
00:12:49,134 --> 00:12:51,168
That's right, but youse people
was worth something.
312
00:12:55,707 --> 00:12:57,508
Now, look, Mr. Bunker,
the reason I came over
313
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,576
was to get Mike's books.
314
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,177
He needs them for
an exam on Monday.
315
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,446
Well, it's too late for me
to go looking for them
316
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,847
up there in the room, you know.
317
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:06,450
Just tell him I'll throw them
out on the stoop for him
318
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,785
first thing in the morning.
319
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:08,786
Okay.
320
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,853
Uh, by the way,
Lionel,
321
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,555
as long as you're here,
do you remember
322
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:13,957
that little brunette
girlfriend of Gloria's?
323
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,026
Her name
was Trudy, Trudy...
324
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:17,127
Uh, Trudy Brightman.
325
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,962
Brightman.
Brightman, yeah.
326
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,464
See you around, Lionel.
327
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,666
What about Trudy?
328
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:25,303
Oh, uh, I don't know.
I ain't heard nothing.
329
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:28,138
You want me to tell
Mike anything?
330
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,875
Yeah. Tell him to send us
a card, Christmas and Easter.
331
00:13:35,079 --> 00:13:38,382
Brightman, Brightman, Brightman.
332
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,919
That was "B"
when I went to school.
333
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,621
Let's see.
334
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,757
Brightman and, uh, "B"...
335
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,593
and it ain't here.
336
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:53,063
Where would Edith write
that name?
337
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:56,867
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
338
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,068
Let's see here.
339
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,805
Here it is. Brightman.
340
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:03,774
Under "G",
for Gloria's girlfriend.
341
00:14:07,312 --> 00:14:09,714
♪ If you're happy
And you know it, say "I am" ♪
342
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,114
♪ I am ♪
343
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,517
♪ If you're happy
And you know it, say "I am" ♪
344
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,852
♪ I am ♪
345
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,654
♪ If you're happy
And you know it ♪
346
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,456
♪ Then your life
will surely show it ♪
347
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,924
♪ If you're happy
And you know it, say "I am" ♪
348
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:21,959
♪ I am! ♪
349
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:22,960
That was good, Ma.
350
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,395
Mrs. Bunker,
you're terrific.
351
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:25,929
Oh, my, that was fun.
352
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:29,700
I just love singing,
especially songs.
353
00:14:32,303 --> 00:14:33,937
Oh, more wine,
Mrs. Bunker?
354
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:36,340
Oh, my, it is empty again.
355
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,108
Thank you.
356
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,611
Ma!
357
00:14:42,914 --> 00:14:44,682
You know,
this is just like
358
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:48,552
sitting around a campfire
at camp,
359
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,421
only we ain't itchy.
360
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,955
[LAUGHTER]
361
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:59,430
Oh, I used
to love them song-alings.
362
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,665
Sing-alongs, Ma.
363
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,567
Them too.
364
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,102
[GIGGLING]
365
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:08,005
Oh, I remember one song.
It was so funny.
366
00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,206
Oh, sing it
for us, please.
367
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,741
All right.
368
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,945
♪ John Brown's baby
Had a cold upon his chest ♪
369
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:17,214
♪ John Brown's baby
Had a cold upon his chest ♪
370
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,450
♪ John Brown's baby
Had a cold upon his chest ♪
371
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,752
♪ And they rubbed it
With camphorated oil ♪
372
00:15:27,191 --> 00:15:30,127
That was supposed
to be funny, Ma?
373
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:33,130
Oh, I forgot.
374
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:36,534
It was funny
when we acted it out.
375
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,436
Yeah, like this:
376
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,937
♪ John Brown's... ♪
377
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,640
♪ Had a [COUGHS]
Upon his chest ♪
378
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,174
♪ John Brown's... ♪
379
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:46,710
♪ Had a [COUGHS]
Upon his chest ♪
380
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,245
♪ John Brown's... ♪
381
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,880
♪ Had a [COUGHS]
Upon his chest ♪
382
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:52,282
♪ And they rubbed it
With camphorated oil ♪
383
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,885
[INHALES DEEPLY] Ew.
384
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,454
[GIGGLING]
385
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:06,931
Oh, Ma, Ma... Ma, I think
you ought to take it easy
386
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,065
till the pizza gets here.
387
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,367
Oh, yeah, that's right.
388
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:13,203
I won't sing anymore
until after we eat.
389
00:16:21,346 --> 00:16:23,046
Who's bringing the pizza?
390
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,182
A couple of friends
of mine down the block.
391
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:26,684
I wonder what's
taking them so long.
392
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,185
It's really
getting late.
393
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:29,820
I wonder
how Michael is.
394
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,356
I think I'm going to call him
over at Lionel's and...
395
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,391
Gloria,
don't you dare.
396
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,393
He walked out on you, remember?
397
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:37,962
Make him come to you.
398
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,663
But what if he doesn't?
399
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:43,033
Oh, Gloria, I'm sure he will.
400
00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:44,969
It's just like in the movies.
401
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:48,038
The husband always ran
after the wife,
402
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:52,142
and he said, "Please come back,"
and the wife always did.
403
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:55,613
Like William Powell
and Myrna Loy...
404
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,848
Cary Grant and Irene Dunne...
405
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,850
Humphrey Bogart and Bette Davis?
406
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,519
Yeah.
407
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:05,422
Only you were never too sure
about Bette Davis.
408
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,995
Sometimes, she'd come back,
409
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:14,197
but sometimes, she'd just die.
410
00:17:17,502 --> 00:17:19,870
Oh, pizza!
411
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,138
Hi, everybody.
412
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,472
Oh, Mrs. Bunker,
413
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:23,807
this is Betty Sue,
and Joanie.
414
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,709
Oh, hi.
Nice to meet you.
415
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,245
Oh, I'm telling you,
it is so cold outside.
416
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:30,247
It's a good thing
you bundled up.
417
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,449
That's right.
Oh, yes.
418
00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:34,852
EDITH:
Look at you--
419
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,787
you wore
your pajamas.
420
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,756
Well, Trudy said,
"come as you are."
421
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,757
[GASPS]
422
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,158
Oh, my!
423
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:45,495
Then this must be
a "come as you are" party.
424
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,264
[MUFFLED CHATTER]
425
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,004
Gloria!
426
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,473
Look who's here.
427
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:59,577
Oh, Michael...
428
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,111
Hey...
429
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,412
Pizza!
430
00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:07,751
Oh!
431
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,988
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
432
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,923
Oh, I'm sorry.
433
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,825
How are you?
I missed you.
434
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,294
I'm fine.
How did you know I was here?
435
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:19,863
Well, from out of nowhere,
Archie asked Lionel about Trudy,
436
00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:21,331
so I put two and two together.
437
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,700
Oh.
438
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:27,204
Uh, listen, I, uh,
I brought you something.
439
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,472
I wrote you a fresh poem.
440
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:33,310
Oh, Michael.
441
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,612
Aw...
442
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,413
GLORIA: Oh, everybody,
I want you to meet Michael.
443
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:37,881
He's my husband.
444
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:38,882
Michael,
you know Trudy.
445
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:39,950
Yeah.
And you know me.
446
00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:46,256
And this is Betty Sue
and Joanie.
447
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:47,257
Michael.
448
00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:48,458
I'm gonna
read them the poem.
449
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,594
Oh, no, no.
[ALL PROTESTING]
450
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:53,430
All right. It's
nothing, really.
451
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:54,999
"Oh, Gloria,
452
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,134
"You made
My life euphoria.
453
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,469
"I wanna
Get more of ya.
454
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:04,574
Gloria, I adore ya."
455
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:07,044
Oh, Michael,
it's beautiful.
456
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,646
Michael,
come here a minute.
457
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,048
I wanna talk to you.
458
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:15,619
I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
459
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:17,121
I was wrong too.
460
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:20,423
I was wrong too.
461
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:23,027
I should never have
walked out on Archie,
462
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:26,196
and I'm gonna tell him too...
463
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:30,167
if I ever see him again.
464
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,069
Aw, come on, Ma,
cheer up.
465
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,071
All right.
466
00:19:40,912 --> 00:19:42,780
Let's sing
another song.
467
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,281
Yeah.
Yeah.
468
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:46,884
You all join in
on the chorus.
469
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,486
♪ A peanut sat
On the railroad track ♪
470
00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:51,689
♪ His heart was all a-flutter ♪
471
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,058
♪ Around the bend
Came the 8:15 ♪
472
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:56,493
♪ And now he's peanut butter ♪
473
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,662
♪ It ain't gonna rain
No more, no more... ♪
474
00:19:58,664 --> 00:19:59,697
Come on, everybody.
475
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,298
♪ It ain't gonna rain no more ♪
476
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,500
♪ How in the heck
I'm gonna wash my neck ♪
477
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:05,302
♪ When it ain't gonna rain
No more? ♪
478
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,504
♪ Oh, it ain't gonna rain
No more, no more ♪
479
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:10,174
♪ It ain't gonna rain
No more... ♪
480
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,041
Edith!
481
00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:15,045
You having a good time?
482
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:19,183
Archie, you came back,
483
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,618
just like in the movies!
484
00:20:30,328 --> 00:20:34,297
Take off
that Chinky bathrobe.
485
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,967
No, Archie, we're having
a "come as you are" party.
486
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,936
Let me introduce you.
487
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,071
You know Gloria, you know Mi--
488
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,405
Cut that out.
489
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:47,077
It's like
an opium joint in here.
490
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,678
Bunch of Commies
doing hijinks.
491
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,648
Gloria, you didn't tell me
you had a daddy like that.
492
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:53,150
What you mean by that?
493
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,619
Well, Mr. Bunker, my sister
and I are from Dallas,
494
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:57,454
and our daddy would think
you're a Communist.
495
00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:58,521
ARCHIE: Why?
496
00:20:58,523 --> 00:20:59,790
Because you live
in New York City.
497
00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:03,794
Why don't you two sing him
your daddy's favorite song?
498
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,262
That's a
terrific idea.
499
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,631
Betty Sue, Joanie, come on.
500
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,032
Don't be shy.
501
00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:10,934
I don't want
to hear no song.
502
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,137
Get away from me.
503
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:17,440
♪ If Communism comes
A-knocking at your door ♪
504
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,109
♪ Don't answer it ♪
505
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:22,846
♪ If Communism comes a-knocking
At your neighbor's door ♪
506
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:24,447
♪ Don't let him answer it ♪
507
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,984
♪ For Democracy's the way ♪
508
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:29,619
♪ To live each and every day ♪
509
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,421
♪ So when Communism comes ♪
510
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:35,926
♪ Just say
You're not at home ♪
511
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:40,764
♪ From Democracy
We'll never, ever roam ♪
512
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:41,631
[CHEERING]
513
00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:50,107
Well, your daddy's
favorite song
514
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:52,409
is a damn good song.
515
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:53,543
But I know very well
516
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:55,478
that youse two don't
believe in it, see.
517
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,080
I know when my legs
are being pulled
518
00:21:57,082 --> 00:22:00,550
by a couple
o' little pinkos there.
519
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,786
And I think you ought
to put some clothes on too.
520
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:04,788
I don't know why
I'm looking at youse.
521
00:22:07,725 --> 00:22:09,726
Come on. I think we ought
to go home now.
522
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:11,962
And that includes
Gloria and Mike. Come on.
523
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:13,596
Oh, wait a minute,
Archie.
524
00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:15,833
I want to tell you
something.
525
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,901
I was wrong.
526
00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:20,570
Of course you was wrong.
527
00:22:22,073 --> 00:22:25,876
Well, don't you think you should
say you was wrong too?
528
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:27,744
Wrong about what?
529
00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:30,113
About Mike's privacy.
530
00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:33,250
Everybody's got a right
to their privacy.
531
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:35,685
I got a right to know
whatever goes on
532
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,721
with anybody under my roof!
533
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:41,424
That's why we're not under
your roof right now.
534
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:43,793
Archie, couldn't you say
you was wrong?
535
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,195
I said I was wrong.
536
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,397
I said I was wrong.
I said I was wrong.
537
00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:50,567
Oh, well, in that case...
538
00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:53,203
youse were all wrong,
but I ain't.
539
00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:58,108
Archie, we ain't coming home
540
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,678
until you say
we got a right to our privacy.
541
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,146
You know what that is, Edith?
542
00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:05,883
That is blackmail, blackmail--
which is a worser crime
543
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,484
than the crime
of searching his closet.
544
00:23:07,486 --> 00:23:09,552
Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
545
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,188
So you admit
you were wrong. Huh?
546
00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:12,389
You said you
committed a crime.
547
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,423
I never said anything.
548
00:23:13,425 --> 00:23:14,958
You just said--
you just said
549
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,360
that searching
my closet was a crime.
550
00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:17,560
I never said nothing
about that.
551
00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:19,062
Oh, Archie,
say you was wrong.
552
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:20,163
I was wrong.
553
00:23:20,165 --> 00:23:21,164
And I was
wrong.
554
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,299
And I was
wrong.
555
00:23:22,301 --> 00:23:23,901
What is this,
True Confessions?
556
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:26,236
[MIMICKING] I was wrong.
I was wrong. I was wrong.
557
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,371
He said it!
558
00:23:27,373 --> 00:23:28,872
I never said nothing!
559
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:30,673
♪ For he's a jolly
Good fellow ♪
560
00:23:30,675 --> 00:23:33,143
♪ For he's a jolly good
Fellow ♪
561
00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:35,212
♪ For he's a jolly good
Fellow... ♪
562
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:36,713
Shut up!
563
00:23:36,715 --> 00:23:40,217
♪ Which nobody
Can deny ♪
564
00:23:40,219 --> 00:23:41,618
♪ He said
He was wrong ♪
565
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:44,154
Ah! Not that!
566
00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,323
[ARGUING]
567
00:23:53,531 --> 00:23:56,900
Oh, Archie, here's a poem
you wrote to me.
568
00:23:56,902 --> 00:23:58,302
I never wrote no poem.
569
00:23:58,304 --> 00:23:59,602
Oh, yeah, listen.
570
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:03,407
"When skies are blue,
I think of you,
571
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:05,976
and in the rain,
I think again."
572
00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,744
Oh, yeah, yeah.
573
00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:11,048
"So please remember me,
Dear Edith,
574
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:15,385
When safe at home,
These lines thou readeth."
575
00:24:18,589 --> 00:24:20,523
"Thou readeth." Oh, my.
576
00:24:20,525 --> 00:24:22,259
Wouldn't it be nice
577
00:24:22,261 --> 00:24:25,595
if everybody talked like that
in real life?
578
00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:27,797
No, Edith,
it would be dumb.
579
00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:30,867
Oh, I don't think so.
580
00:24:30,869 --> 00:24:34,204
I'd love to hear you
talk to me that way.
581
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:39,809
All right, Edith.
582
00:24:39,811 --> 00:24:43,413
Wilt thou stifle thyself?
583
00:25:01,032 --> 00:25:02,499
[♪]
584
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,301
ANNOUNCER: All In The Family
was recorded on tape
585
00:25:04,303 --> 00:25:06,836
before a live audience.
586
00:25:06,886 --> 00:25:11,436
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41418
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.