Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,604 --> 00:00:04,788
- And the final stop
on our little private tour
2
00:00:04,790 --> 00:00:08,625
is an exhibit devoted to
Grimsburg's biggest industry--
3
00:00:08,777 --> 00:00:09,867
murder.
4
00:00:09,869 --> 00:00:11,444
[thunder booming]
5
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:14,872
Jeff the Ripper,
the Deathguard,
6
00:00:15,041 --> 00:00:17,300
Killex, featuring DJ Khaled.
7
00:00:17,302 --> 00:00:19,135
Notice a pattern here?
8
00:00:19,212 --> 00:00:20,470
They're all men.
9
00:00:20,547 --> 00:00:23,456
And yet women make up
half of our population.
10
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,883
- Look, if you're trying
to murder my sausage
11
00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:27,627
on this date, it's working.
12
00:00:27,796 --> 00:00:28,628
Ooh!
13
00:00:28,739 --> 00:00:29,571
An empty one!
14
00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:30,739
I'm going in.
15
00:00:30,966 --> 00:00:31,889
Look at me!
16
00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:33,057
Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh!
17
00:00:33,151 --> 00:00:34,076
[cackles]
18
00:00:34,078 --> 00:00:35,726
Whose exhibit is this?
19
00:00:35,804 --> 00:00:37,537
- It's mine.
20
00:00:39,658 --> 00:00:42,900
- How can it be yours
if I'm the one inside the box
21
00:00:42,994 --> 00:00:44,661
that's rapidly filling up
with gas?
22
00:00:44,737 --> 00:00:48,832
- Because I'm a killer, and I'm
killing you to make the point
23
00:00:48,908 --> 00:00:50,483
that women-- you know what?
24
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,668
Forget it.
25
00:00:51,670 --> 00:00:53,320
- If you think this is
gonna get me to go out
26
00:00:53,322 --> 00:00:57,991
with you again, I just might.
27
00:00:57,993 --> 00:01:00,918
[dramatic music]
28
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:08,026
♪
29
00:01:17,179 --> 00:01:18,436
[glass shatters]
30
00:01:18,438 --> 00:01:19,529
[birds chirping]
31
00:01:19,681 --> 00:01:21,439
- Look, Harm,
I appreciate you letting me
32
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:23,533
move into the basement
after I abandoned the family
33
00:01:23,610 --> 00:01:25,368
to pursue my talent
for alcoholism.
34
00:01:25,445 --> 00:01:27,129
But how can I fix
things with you and Stan
35
00:01:27,356 --> 00:01:28,538
if I'm not welcome upstairs?
36
00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:30,715
I would do anything
to change your mind.
37
00:01:32,636 --> 00:01:38,289
And when I say anything,
I mean most things.
38
00:01:38,291 --> 00:01:39,883
Stan, to your room!
39
00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:41,384
[kissing]
40
00:01:41,461 --> 00:01:44,220
- I gave you two simple rules
when you moved back in.
41
00:01:44,297 --> 00:01:46,297
One, stay in the basement,
42
00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:50,652
and two,
no Vin Diesel movie nights.
43
00:01:50,837 --> 00:01:52,729
OK, fan club's over!
44
00:01:52,805 --> 00:01:54,639
- It's not a fan club.
45
00:01:54,774 --> 00:01:55,973
It's a family.
46
00:01:56,051 --> 00:01:57,734
all: Family.
47
00:01:57,810 --> 00:01:59,085
- Out.
48
00:01:59,145 --> 00:02:00,311
- Look, I need to be
allowed upstairs.
49
00:02:00,405 --> 00:02:02,055
That's where my family is.
- Family.
50
00:02:02,148 --> 00:02:03,890
- And the good bathroom
with the magazines
51
00:02:03,892 --> 00:02:05,983
I'd never buy myself but whose
advice I've come to rely on.
52
00:02:06,077 --> 00:02:07,560
- I'm doing this for Stan.
53
00:02:07,579 --> 00:02:09,412
He doesn't need a father
who runs off every time he
54
00:02:09,489 --> 00:02:12,823
can't crack a case or has a bad
experience at a four-way stop.
55
00:02:12,992 --> 00:02:14,067
- But I've changed.
56
00:02:14,069 --> 00:02:15,235
Now I just close my eyes
and floor it.
57
00:02:15,345 --> 00:02:17,570
- You say you've changed,
but you never change.
58
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,239
So you're not coming
upstairs until you
59
00:02:19,241 --> 00:02:20,348
can change that
and prove you've
60
00:02:20,425 --> 00:02:22,242
actually changed for a change.
61
00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:23,760
Now, I got to go change.
62
00:02:23,854 --> 00:02:25,353
The "Grimsburg's Got Talent
Talent Show" is coming up,
63
00:02:25,522 --> 00:02:28,773
and I'm competing
to be a judge.
64
00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:32,861
- Family.
65
00:02:33,012 --> 00:02:35,805
- Wow, how do you clog
a bucket?
66
00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:37,407
[bell rings]
67
00:02:38,702 --> 00:02:40,285
- Think fast!
68
00:02:41,112 --> 00:02:42,946
OK, not a sports kid.
69
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,857
- Finished my art project,
Mr. Flesh.
70
00:02:46,935 --> 00:02:48,359
- Ha-ha!
71
00:02:48,437 --> 00:02:51,120
Look who made a picture frame
for his divorced parents
72
00:02:51,197 --> 00:02:53,215
to remind them
of the good ol' days.
73
00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:55,124
- I thought it might help.
74
00:02:55,201 --> 00:02:56,551
- When you gonna get it
75
00:02:56,553 --> 00:02:58,945
through your thick skull,
Stan, huh?
76
00:02:59,038 --> 00:03:01,038
You can't fix them!
77
00:03:01,116 --> 00:03:02,873
- Tyge Hilden,
78
00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:06,286
your parents are here to give you a hug, just because.
79
00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:09,064
- You got lucky today, Stan.
80
00:03:10,049 --> 00:03:13,293
Almost as lucky as I did being
born to parents who make love
81
00:03:13,295 --> 00:03:15,979
seem uncomplicated.
82
00:03:15,981 --> 00:03:17,130
I said almost.
83
00:03:17,132 --> 00:03:19,407
[laughter]
84
00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:23,245
- Let's rip out their spines
and slurp 'em like spaghetti,
85
00:03:23,472 --> 00:03:25,138
"Lady and the Tramp"-style!
86
00:03:25,307 --> 00:03:28,308
- Or we could prove
them wrong by getting
87
00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:29,826
my parents back together.
88
00:03:29,902 --> 00:03:31,086
- Fine.
89
00:03:31,162 --> 00:03:32,161
But now, we've got
to get some chow,
90
00:03:32,256 --> 00:03:33,738
because now I'm craving pasta.
91
00:03:33,832 --> 00:03:35,340
Or dogs.
92
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,650
- The victim is Hort Jomes,
93
00:03:37,744 --> 00:03:39,410
won the talent show
two years ago.
94
00:03:39,412 --> 00:03:41,838
He swallowed three swords
and his trophy.
95
00:03:41,932 --> 00:03:44,099
Turns out it was more of
a compulsion than a talent.
96
00:03:44,326 --> 00:03:46,009
- I miss swallowing.
97
00:03:46,011 --> 00:03:47,494
- This talent show again?
98
00:03:47,496 --> 00:03:49,754
It's like that's all anyone
can talk or murder about.
99
00:03:49,848 --> 00:03:52,332
Time to see what my Crime Mind
is recommending for us...
100
00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:55,335
recommending for us, recommending for us...
101
00:03:55,337 --> 00:03:57,612
[remote control clicking]
102
00:03:57,798 --> 00:03:58,429
[screen chimes]
103
00:03:58,523 --> 00:04:01,674
[eerie electronic music]
104
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:02,859
♪ ♪
105
00:04:03,178 --> 00:04:04,677
If we figure out the motive,
we can catch the killer.
106
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:07,030
Oh! Do these bikes have
any suspension?
107
00:04:07,198 --> 00:04:09,624
- The killerth diorama wath
in the thenter of the room
108
00:04:09,851 --> 00:04:11,126
to get our atthenshun.
109
00:04:11,295 --> 00:04:13,277
- So the killer feels they're
not being recognized, and--
110
00:04:13,355 --> 00:04:14,203
[in high-pitched voice]
Ah, yep!
111
00:04:14,298 --> 00:04:15,371
That ball is inside me now.
112
00:04:15,465 --> 00:04:17,357
- And what better way
to express
113
00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:19,042
your displeasure
with how society
114
00:04:19,044 --> 00:04:20,877
recognizes talent than by--
115
00:04:20,879 --> 00:04:21,970
- Killing talent show...
116
00:04:21,972 --> 00:04:22,971
[in normal voice]
Winners.
117
00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:24,639
It dropped.
Thanks.
118
00:04:24,716 --> 00:04:26,341
Ugh, I miss the '80s.
119
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:28,159
Enjoy Michael Jackson
while you can,
120
00:04:28,236 --> 00:04:29,886
but don't hang out with him.
121
00:04:29,962 --> 00:04:31,371
Well, you could.
122
00:04:31,464 --> 00:04:33,130
- [screams]
123
00:04:33,224 --> 00:04:35,224
Wynona, seen any other
talent show winners
124
00:04:35,301 --> 00:04:36,467
in the morgue recently?
125
00:04:36,545 --> 00:04:37,468
- [sniffing]
126
00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:38,820
Actually,
the winners from three,
127
00:04:39,047 --> 00:04:42,382
four, five, six, and seven
years ago also died this week.
128
00:04:42,475 --> 00:04:44,217
Maybe I should have
mentioned that earlier.
129
00:04:44,310 --> 00:04:45,493
- OK, here's the plan.
130
00:04:45,495 --> 00:04:47,403
He's coming for last
year's winner next,
131
00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:48,979
and when that no-talent
psychopath shows up,
132
00:04:49,057 --> 00:04:49,998
we'll be there.
133
00:04:50,225 --> 00:04:51,741
- Case closed.
134
00:04:51,835 --> 00:04:53,242
Nice work, Wynona.
135
00:04:53,337 --> 00:04:54,151
- What?
136
00:04:54,229 --> 00:04:55,503
No, it's-- ugh.
137
00:04:57,232 --> 00:04:58,155
- Heard you moved back home.
138
00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,415
How's it going with Harm?
139
00:04:59,492 --> 00:05:00,400
- Until I can prove
I've changed,
140
00:05:00,402 --> 00:05:01,676
I'm trapped in the basement.
141
00:05:01,845 --> 00:05:02,902
But how's she gonna know I
changed if she never sees me?
142
00:05:02,995 --> 00:05:04,829
- I'm trapped
in a basement all day.
143
00:05:04,906 --> 00:05:08,241
But I'm surrounded by corpses,
so it's not as bad.
144
00:05:08,259 --> 00:05:09,517
- Well, then
you need to see Harmony
145
00:05:09,519 --> 00:05:11,836
outside the house to prove
to her you've changed.
146
00:05:11,913 --> 00:05:12,912
- Good idea, Kang.
147
00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:14,356
You're like a walking
toilet magazine.
148
00:05:14,432 --> 00:05:18,676
- [laughs] Oh, you always
give the best advice.
149
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:20,862
- Well,
I give good advice too.
150
00:05:21,531 --> 00:05:23,365
Flute,
your pants are too tight.
151
00:05:23,592 --> 00:05:26,409
- I won't apologize
for having drip.
152
00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:29,687
[horn fanfare]
153
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:33,023
- Welcome to the annual
"Grimsburg's Got Talent"
154
00:05:33,118 --> 00:05:35,359
Talent Competition
Judging Competition,
155
00:05:35,379 --> 00:05:37,879
a contest to pick the judges
to judge the contest.
156
00:05:38,106 --> 00:05:39,697
I know. It is confusing.
157
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,608
But the rules
are the rules, my friends,
158
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,218
and they were written
by a nine-year-old
159
00:05:43,445 --> 00:05:45,128
who won another contest
to write those rules.
160
00:05:45,204 --> 00:05:47,130
That's Grimsburg, baby!
161
00:05:47,132 --> 00:05:48,706
- What are you doing here?
162
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,283
- I figured maybe this dumb,
stupid talent show isn't
163
00:05:50,376 --> 00:05:52,060
so stupid, dumb after all.
164
00:05:52,287 --> 00:05:53,953
I guess you could say
I've chan--
165
00:05:53,972 --> 00:05:55,063
[cannon booms]
166
00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:58,791
[dramatic percussive music]
167
00:05:58,885 --> 00:06:00,235
This event makes sense.
168
00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:01,978
A judge needs to be physically
fit so we're racing.
169
00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:03,312
- [growls]
- And you are running,
170
00:06:03,407 --> 00:06:05,815
but like a bear, because you
were raised by bears!
171
00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:06,983
- [growls]
172
00:06:07,152 --> 00:06:08,410
- Oh, I get it!
173
00:06:08,561 --> 00:06:10,470
A good judge must make
lightning-quick decisions
174
00:06:10,488 --> 00:06:12,488
while balancing between
being a Simon Cowell
175
00:06:12,582 --> 00:06:16,400
and whatever pop diva is trying
to land a Vegas residency.
176
00:06:16,494 --> 00:06:17,994
Pogo-sticking--
177
00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:19,737
- [growls]
178
00:06:19,906 --> 00:06:20,830
[loud explosions]
179
00:06:20,907 --> 00:06:22,424
--through the old minefield?
180
00:06:23,743 --> 00:06:26,319
All right, well,
this is just a Squid Game.
181
00:06:26,412 --> 00:06:28,245
- And it looks like
we have our three judges.
182
00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:31,824
As always, Harmony Flute,
town dry-cleaner Skid Marcus,
183
00:06:31,918 --> 00:06:34,102
and Marvin Flute!
184
00:06:34,104 --> 00:06:35,511
OK, back to "Fortnite."
185
00:06:35,588 --> 00:06:38,998
- Oh, it's gonna be so fun
judging together.
186
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,333
- Fun?
187
00:06:40,335 --> 00:06:42,444
Everywhere you go,
crime follows.
188
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,595
- Uh, you say that
like it's not super cool.
189
00:06:44,597 --> 00:06:47,690
- You turned our son's birth
into a sting operation.
190
00:06:47,784 --> 00:06:49,117
- How do you think I feel?
191
00:06:49,344 --> 00:06:51,344
You turned my sting operation
into Stan's birth.
192
00:06:51,437 --> 00:06:53,029
Besides, that was the old me.
193
00:06:53,105 --> 00:06:54,104
I can turn it off.
194
00:06:54,199 --> 00:06:55,623
[snaps]
There. It's off.
195
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:58,868
- Mm-hmm, then what are
you doing right now?
196
00:06:58,870 --> 00:06:59,961
- Uh, not crime stuff.
197
00:07:00,188 --> 00:07:01,704
Have a nice day, Squiggles.
198
00:07:01,873 --> 00:07:03,039
You'll see I've changed.
199
00:07:03,041 --> 00:07:04,207
I'm not gonna let
work interfere at all
200
00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:05,541
with the two of us judging.
[crowd screaming]
201
00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:08,786
- Hey! That clown is killing
everyone he sees!
202
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,321
[crowd screaming]
203
00:07:10,323 --> 00:07:12,215
- People are literally
screaming with excitement
204
00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:14,267
about us judging together.
205
00:07:17,722 --> 00:07:20,631
[jazzy music]
206
00:07:20,725 --> 00:07:23,300
♪ ♪
207
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,044
- Commencing Operation
Undercover Talent
208
00:07:25,046 --> 00:07:26,546
Show Winner Stakeout, over.
209
00:07:26,548 --> 00:07:28,973
- Handsome Falcon
is on the beach, over.
210
00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:30,399
- We did not agree
to code names.
211
00:07:30,494 --> 00:07:32,476
- You're breaking up there,
Wet Blanket.
212
00:07:32,478 --> 00:07:34,053
How's our insurance
agent doing?
213
00:07:34,146 --> 00:07:35,388
Any sign of the killer, Jake?
214
00:07:35,481 --> 00:07:37,056
- Hard to say.
215
00:07:37,149 --> 00:07:38,558
I've been busy trying to bundle
someone's home and auto plans.
216
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,335
- Hey, Flute, aren't you
supposed to be getting
217
00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:41,669
ready for the talent show?
- It's fine.
218
00:07:41,838 --> 00:07:43,505
I'll catch the killer,
wrap this up,
219
00:07:43,507 --> 00:07:45,064
be over there in plenty of time
to give a young performer
220
00:07:45,066 --> 00:07:46,249
a reality check.
221
00:07:46,325 --> 00:07:48,158
Made out to "you suck"
in the amount
222
00:07:48,236 --> 00:07:49,344
of "never gonna make it"
dollars
223
00:07:49,346 --> 00:07:51,846
and 42 cents
from the Bank of Failure.
224
00:07:51,848 --> 00:07:53,497
Memo line, "give up."
225
00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:55,183
Routing number--
- Flute!
226
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:57,577
Got something for you.
227
00:07:57,579 --> 00:07:59,912
Back when my dead wife
was my alive wife,
228
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,097
she hated the job too.
229
00:08:01,173 --> 00:08:02,673
So I started taking DetectOff.
230
00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:05,768
One pill shuts off detective
brain for up to 12 hours.
231
00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:09,346
- Flute, are you happy with
your life insurance policy?
232
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,924
Because someone's
behind you with a knife!
233
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,609
[dramatic music]
234
00:08:13,703 --> 00:08:14,761
- Freeze!
235
00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:15,703
Ah, damn.
236
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,022
♪ ♪
237
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:19,874
- You're under arrest.
238
00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:21,209
Ma'am?
239
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,936
My apologies,
we clearly made a mistake here.
240
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,195
On your way, milady.
241
00:08:25,197 --> 00:08:26,455
- Thanks, m'turd.
- What?
242
00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:28,107
No!
She had a knife!
243
00:08:28,126 --> 00:08:29,717
- K, you see where
that knife went?
244
00:08:30,461 --> 00:08:34,597
- Aw, man, I just bought
this parka six years ago.
245
00:08:36,393 --> 00:08:38,059
- Now to try some of that sensitivity training
246
00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:39,619
I slept through.
247
00:08:39,621 --> 00:08:41,396
You rarely hear about women
in the serial killer game.
248
00:08:41,472 --> 00:08:43,231
I mean, uh,
not that you can't kill,
249
00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:45,400
because you can-- and did,
very well, I might add.
250
00:08:45,627 --> 00:08:47,235
Everyone you killed
is quite dead, so good on you.
251
00:08:47,270 --> 00:08:48,903
Equality. Suffrage.
252
00:08:49,072 --> 00:08:50,463
You know, your body.
Rachel Maddow.
253
00:08:50,481 --> 00:08:52,799
I'm an ally.
- Gee. Thanks.
254
00:08:52,817 --> 00:08:55,893
While there have been plenty
of female serial killers,
255
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:58,079
there wasn't one
in that exhibit.
256
00:08:58,306 --> 00:08:59,563
Well, I'm out to change that.
257
00:08:59,565 --> 00:09:01,065
- Hey, I'm all for
shattering traditional
258
00:09:01,142 --> 00:09:02,491
female stereotypes.
259
00:09:02,568 --> 00:09:03,993
For starters,
can we turn the AC off?
260
00:09:04,070 --> 00:09:05,311
Because I'm freezing.
261
00:09:05,404 --> 00:09:07,088
[phone chimes]
Oh, hey, Harm.
262
00:09:07,315 --> 00:09:08,314
- Of course you're late.
263
00:09:08,316 --> 00:09:09,982
I knew you'd never change.
264
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,092
- No, I am not late.
265
00:09:11,094 --> 00:09:13,319
I'm gonna be there in--
266
00:09:13,488 --> 00:09:16,005
I made it in four minutes,
barely broke any laws to do it.
267
00:09:16,099 --> 00:09:17,156
- Marvin?
268
00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:19,249
Who's that?
269
00:09:19,269 --> 00:09:21,269
- Oh, this is Anna,
friend from not work.
270
00:09:21,271 --> 00:09:22,845
The restraints are for
her own protection.
271
00:09:22,922 --> 00:09:24,013
She's super clumsy.
272
00:09:24,107 --> 00:09:26,332
- Augh, this is bad.
273
00:09:26,334 --> 00:09:29,335
We can't find our third judge,
Skid Marcus.
274
00:09:29,337 --> 00:09:31,112
Maybe your friend here
could fill in?
275
00:09:31,189 --> 00:09:33,189
- No, I don't think she should.
276
00:09:33,265 --> 00:09:34,340
- Why?
277
00:09:34,342 --> 00:09:37,118
Too many women
in power for you, Flute?
278
00:09:37,345 --> 00:09:39,512
- What? Me?
No, I love women in power.
279
00:09:39,514 --> 00:09:41,697
I voted for Hilary...Swank...
in my Oscar pool.
280
00:09:41,866 --> 00:09:42,773
Let's have Anna judge.
281
00:09:42,942 --> 00:09:44,033
- Wonderful.
282
00:09:44,035 --> 00:09:45,868
If someone could
help me out of this?
283
00:09:45,962 --> 00:09:48,296
Oh, look, I did it myself.
284
00:09:48,523 --> 00:09:51,357
[eerie music]
285
00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:52,191
♪ ♪
286
00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:53,450
[upbeat dance music]
287
00:09:53,528 --> 00:09:55,786
- And now,
your Mastermind of Ceremonies,
288
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,547
Grimsburg Middle's
top teacher by way of Grimsburg
289
00:09:58,624 --> 00:10:01,809
Prison's most ill-conceived
work-release program,
290
00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:04,461
Dr. Rufis Pentos.
291
00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:05,462
- What a night.
292
00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:07,482
I can feel the buzz in the air.
293
00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:08,298
Wait!
294
00:10:08,393 --> 00:10:10,467
That's my ankle bracelet.
295
00:10:10,545 --> 00:10:11,560
[laughter]
296
00:10:11,729 --> 00:10:14,989
Let's meet our
unacceptably all white judges.
297
00:10:14,991 --> 00:10:17,307
Hashtag, do better.
298
00:10:17,327 --> 00:10:19,994
- I'm Harmony Flute,
and I know talent can come from
299
00:10:20,221 --> 00:10:21,996
anywhere--
even the humble cave,
300
00:10:21,998 --> 00:10:24,223
where I grew up
with a rock as my pillow
301
00:10:24,225 --> 00:10:25,574
and bears as my parents.
302
00:10:25,576 --> 00:10:28,002
Thank you for your sympathy
and your upcoming
303
00:10:28,079 --> 00:10:29,745
applause for my bravery.
[applause]
304
00:10:29,822 --> 00:10:31,155
Oh!
[laughs]
305
00:10:31,249 --> 00:10:33,841
- I'm Anna,
and I hope the winner has
306
00:10:33,993 --> 00:10:37,327
a talent that's...to die for.
307
00:10:37,422 --> 00:10:39,681
Also, I'm a sucker
for tap dancing.
308
00:10:43,261 --> 00:10:45,002
- What? Oh. Uh, hi!
309
00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:48,005
I'm Detective Marvin Flute,
and I'll be collecting evidence
310
00:10:48,174 --> 00:10:49,673
of who is the most talented.
311
00:10:49,751 --> 00:10:52,919
But not the usual evidence like
carpet fibers, blood samples,
312
00:10:53,012 --> 00:10:55,012
gunpowder residue, or--
oh, semen.
313
00:10:55,106 --> 00:10:56,364
So much!
314
00:10:56,591 --> 00:10:58,199
Honestly, the first time
you walk into a crime scene
315
00:10:58,276 --> 00:11:01,260
covered in it, you think,
"Well, that happened."
316
00:11:01,353 --> 00:11:02,428
And then, by the 20th time,
you're like,
317
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:04,188
"What is wrong with people?"
318
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:05,707
And then by the 50th time,
you're like,
319
00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:08,418
"What is wrong with me?"
320
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:12,605
- Let's get things started
with our first act,
321
00:11:12,607 --> 00:11:15,532
Eddie the telepathic donkey,
who will convince one of you
322
00:11:15,610 --> 00:11:19,369
in the audience
to steal the Popemobile.
323
00:11:19,538 --> 00:11:21,538
[donkey brays]
324
00:11:21,616 --> 00:11:24,892
- I thought you said you could
turn off the detective stuff.
325
00:11:25,011 --> 00:11:25,968
God, I should have known.
326
00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:27,453
You're just like James Corden.
327
00:11:27,455 --> 00:11:29,713
You ruin everything you touch.
328
00:11:29,791 --> 00:11:32,358
[donkey braying]
329
00:11:37,148 --> 00:11:39,632
- Yes, Eddie.
330
00:11:39,634 --> 00:11:41,701
I obey.
331
00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:45,079
- What are we waiting
in this line for?
332
00:11:45,081 --> 00:11:48,082
- I'm going to sing a song.
333
00:11:48,084 --> 00:11:49,751
- [laughs]
You?
334
00:11:49,978 --> 00:11:50,993
Singing a song?
335
00:11:51,087 --> 00:11:54,313
- Not "a song."
My parents' favorite song.
336
00:11:54,315 --> 00:11:55,998
When it came on,
no matter how mad they were,
337
00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:57,483
everything changed.
338
00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:59,093
They'd send me to my room,
and then I'd hear them
339
00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:00,486
move furniture around.
340
00:12:00,488 --> 00:12:01,929
Dad would get tired,
but Mom would say,
341
00:12:02,006 --> 00:12:03,264
"Don't stop. Don't stop."
342
00:12:03,491 --> 00:12:04,507
And then once they
rearrange it,
343
00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:06,342
she'd ask if that's
how he liked it.
344
00:12:06,418 --> 00:12:08,269
And he'd say,
"I love that, mistress."
345
00:12:08,271 --> 00:12:10,346
Obviously, he meant "mattress."
And then--
346
00:12:10,348 --> 00:12:12,181
- Stangello, you can't do this.
347
00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:15,351
The Stable Boys
will tear you apart.
348
00:12:15,353 --> 00:12:18,854
- Not if I tear my parents
back together first.
349
00:12:18,948 --> 00:12:21,857
[upbeat music]
350
00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:23,509
♪ ♪
351
00:12:23,602 --> 00:12:25,177
[applause]
352
00:12:25,271 --> 00:12:28,272
- I'm not a big fan of coyotes,
but I'm giving you
353
00:12:28,349 --> 00:12:30,866
a "hibern-eight" out of "den!"
354
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,442
[laughs] Raised by bears.
355
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,112
- Dancing is the lowest
discipline of the arts.
356
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:36,689
It's basically
a weird way of walking,
357
00:12:36,691 --> 00:12:39,191
except you don't go anywhere,
and your arms get tired.
358
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,450
But guess what.
359
00:12:40,503 --> 00:12:42,470
I love your song choice,
I love your costumes,
360
00:12:42,547 --> 00:12:44,788
and I love that your love
is illegal in most states.
361
00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:46,198
It's a nine.
362
00:12:46,292 --> 00:12:47,308
[cheers and applause]
363
00:12:47,535 --> 00:12:50,311
[upbeat music]
364
00:12:50,538 --> 00:12:52,721
♪ ♪
365
00:12:52,723 --> 00:12:54,816
[laughter]
366
00:12:54,818 --> 00:12:58,561
♪
367
00:12:58,655 --> 00:12:59,728
[laughing]
368
00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:00,822
[both screaming]
369
00:13:00,898 --> 00:13:03,399
[cheers and applause]
370
00:13:03,401 --> 00:13:05,827
- That performance was hot,
hot, hot!
371
00:13:06,054 --> 00:13:07,829
[cheers and applause]
372
00:13:08,056 --> 00:13:10,480
[upbeat music]
373
00:13:10,575 --> 00:13:12,575
- One day,
that'll be my family.
374
00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:16,003
- Yeah, sure,
we get some zip ties and gags,
375
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,654
and they're all yours!
376
00:13:17,656 --> 00:13:19,857
♪
377
00:13:19,859 --> 00:13:22,751
- [grunting]
378
00:13:22,828 --> 00:13:26,072
♪ ♪
379
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,559
- I give it a "roller sk-nine!"
380
00:13:31,337 --> 00:13:33,913
- And our final performance
tonight is...
381
00:13:33,915 --> 00:13:35,748
Stan Flute?
382
00:13:35,841 --> 00:13:37,917
[audience gasps]
383
00:13:37,935 --> 00:13:40,753
I think we found our loser.
384
00:13:40,922 --> 00:13:42,421
Is this on?
It is.
385
00:13:42,514 --> 00:13:43,589
Good.
386
00:13:43,591 --> 00:13:45,682
I didn't want
to have to repeat that.
387
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,535
- You sure you don't
want to wear a mask?
388
00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:50,204
It might go better if they
think you're Rudy Giuliani.
389
00:13:50,281 --> 00:13:53,374
[microphone feedback]
390
00:13:53,451 --> 00:13:56,802
- ♪ There's always
that one person that ♪
391
00:13:56,804 --> 00:13:59,605
- Oh, God, he's gonna
live with me until he's 30.
392
00:13:59,607 --> 00:14:01,607
- This is why I kept
saying we should
393
00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:03,992
have those spinny chairs from
"The Voice" and an open bar.
394
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:06,128
- ♪ I did from the start ♪
395
00:14:06,222 --> 00:14:09,448
♪ Know that you're
that one for me ♪
396
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:14,136
♪ It's clear for
everyone to see, baby ♪
397
00:14:14,138 --> 00:14:17,089
[audience booing]
398
00:14:17,125 --> 00:14:22,294
♪ You will always be my boo ♪
399
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:24,721
[audience cheering]
400
00:14:24,815 --> 00:14:27,633
- ♪ Now I don't know about
y'all, but I know about us ♪
401
00:14:27,635 --> 00:14:30,578
- ♪ And it's the only way
we know how to ride ♪
402
00:14:30,805 --> 00:14:32,413
- ♪ My boo ♪
403
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,642
- ♪ I know we haven't
seen each other in a while ♪
404
00:14:36,735 --> 00:14:43,816
both: ♪ But you will always be
my boo ♪
405
00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:46,928
[cheers and applause]
406
00:14:47,096 --> 00:14:50,656
- This year's
talent show winner is...
407
00:14:50,749 --> 00:14:51,748
[dramatic music]
408
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:55,227
Stan Flute!
409
00:14:57,498 --> 00:15:00,757
- I got to say, you didn't ruin
this with your detective stuff
410
00:15:00,835 --> 00:15:01,850
like you normally do.
411
00:15:01,945 --> 00:15:03,335
Maybe you have changed.
412
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:04,928
- Looks like it might be time
for someone to get
413
00:15:05,022 --> 00:15:06,672
upstairs pooping privileges.
414
00:15:06,674 --> 00:15:09,175
- Have either of you two
no-longer-in-love-birds
415
00:15:09,177 --> 00:15:12,954
seen Anna or Stan?
416
00:15:12,956 --> 00:15:14,271
And look at this.
417
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,958
[mysterious music]
418
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,852
- Oh, I think
we might have a problem.
419
00:15:19,870 --> 00:15:21,020
- I want a divorce!
420
00:15:21,113 --> 00:15:22,354
- Wait!
421
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,373
We can still be
a stable family!
422
00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:25,691
- Save it, hack!
423
00:15:25,784 --> 00:15:27,042
You had a chance to keep
this family together,
424
00:15:27,119 --> 00:15:28,803
and it was on stage!
425
00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:34,308
- Uh, uh...
- [sighs]
426
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:37,203
So you brought a killer whose
MO is she kills talent show
427
00:15:37,296 --> 00:15:39,722
winners to the talent show,
which our son won,
428
00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:40,982
and now she's kidnapped him.
429
00:15:41,209 --> 00:15:42,483
Congrats.
430
00:15:42,485 --> 00:15:44,301
You're the grand marshall
of the Dumb-Dumb parade.
431
00:15:44,395 --> 00:15:46,136
- Ooh, thanks.
Do I get a sash?
432
00:15:46,214 --> 00:15:48,489
- Just do
your Crime Mind thing
433
00:15:48,716 --> 00:15:51,141
so we can wrap up
this little Flute-scapade.
434
00:15:51,235 --> 00:15:54,144
- Uh, right.
I'm on it.
435
00:15:54,146 --> 00:15:56,831
[machine beeping, trilling]
436
00:15:57,575 --> 00:16:01,151
Uh, the Crime Mind
is kind of offline.
437
00:16:01,153 --> 00:16:03,320
- Oh, of course it is.
438
00:16:03,489 --> 00:16:04,505
Wait, look!
439
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:07,842
- The ground is sinking
in similarly sized
440
00:16:08,069 --> 00:16:09,326
and spaced intervals.
441
00:16:09,328 --> 00:16:11,070
Neat!
I'm gonna pee in them.
442
00:16:11,163 --> 00:16:12,162
- Those are footprints,
you idiot.
443
00:16:12,256 --> 00:16:13,347
What's wrong with you?
- Right, right.
444
00:16:13,574 --> 00:16:15,165
- They must be Anna and Stan's.
445
00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:17,334
- OK, so here's what we're
gonna do-- pee in them.
446
00:16:17,336 --> 00:16:18,410
You pee in the big ones,
I'll go to the small.
447
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,170
- No, we should follow them.
448
00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:21,355
- Yes! Right.
449
00:16:21,357 --> 00:16:24,250
Follow-- what, exactly?
- The footprints!
450
00:16:24,252 --> 00:16:25,918
- Right.
And we just pee wherever.
451
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,102
- [sighs]
452
00:16:27,104 --> 00:16:30,347
[eerie music]
453
00:16:30,349 --> 00:16:31,440
♪
454
00:16:31,442 --> 00:16:33,592
- Just wait here,
Mr. Talent Show winner.
455
00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:38,497
I need to pick up some knives
for the, uh, awards ceremony.
456
00:16:39,191 --> 00:16:41,024
- Come to apologize?
457
00:16:41,118 --> 00:16:42,543
- Apologize?
458
00:16:42,694 --> 00:16:45,287
No, I came to tell you
that lady's got more screws
459
00:16:45,364 --> 00:16:46,955
loose than that steering column
460
00:16:47,124 --> 00:16:48,865
I loosened
all the screws on to get you
461
00:16:48,943 --> 00:16:50,033
out of that field trip.
462
00:16:50,035 --> 00:16:51,535
Now, let's get out of here.
463
00:16:51,537 --> 00:16:53,537
- You just can't stand
when I succeed.
464
00:16:53,631 --> 00:16:55,205
My parents are almost
back together.
465
00:16:55,299 --> 00:16:57,058
My plan is working,
and nobody had
466
00:16:57,134 --> 00:16:58,225
to get hurt
or lose their class B
467
00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,135
commercial bus driver's
license.
468
00:17:00,137 --> 00:17:01,729
- Who were you talking to?
469
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:07,142
- Just a big old bag of nobody.
470
00:17:07,144 --> 00:17:10,887
[eerie music]
471
00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:14,241
[bird caws]
472
00:17:14,243 --> 00:17:16,468
- The footprints stop here.
473
00:17:16,637 --> 00:17:18,913
[sniffs]
474
00:17:18,989 --> 00:17:20,706
[growls]
475
00:17:21,809 --> 00:17:28,631
♪
476
00:17:30,409 --> 00:17:31,926
- Hmm.
477
00:17:32,077 --> 00:17:33,928
- Flute!
Skid Marcus is in here!
478
00:17:34,004 --> 00:17:36,338
- Finally!
I've been here for days.
479
00:17:36,415 --> 00:17:38,006
I know exactly where Anna is.
480
00:17:38,008 --> 00:17:40,509
- Clam it, dirtbag!
481
00:17:40,678 --> 00:17:42,937
- What the hell?
Why would you do that?
482
00:17:43,013 --> 00:17:45,456
- I don't know.
483
00:17:45,458 --> 00:17:46,607
I thought I could change,
but I couldn't.
484
00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:49,168
So I took some DetectOff
to make you think I did.
485
00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:51,503
I needed drugs,
because you're right about me.
486
00:17:51,597 --> 00:17:53,856
I'm a one-trick pony,
just like that donkey
487
00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:55,265
that did that one trick.
488
00:17:55,451 --> 00:17:57,767
Wait, what's the difference
between a pony and a donkey?
489
00:17:57,845 --> 00:17:58,677
Is one gay?
490
00:17:58,679 --> 00:18:00,179
- So you took the drugs for me?
491
00:18:00,348 --> 00:18:03,349
That's so-- sweet.
492
00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:06,034
The old you
only took drugs for you,
493
00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:09,355
which means
maybe you've changed.
494
00:18:09,357 --> 00:18:11,465
- Yes! I told you!
In your face! Sorry!
495
00:18:11,542 --> 00:18:12,875
The competitive part
of me still needs
496
00:18:13,043 --> 00:18:13,876
a little bit of work.
497
00:18:14,077 --> 00:18:14,969
You loser!
498
00:18:14,971 --> 00:18:16,712
[chuckles]
Sorry, again.
499
00:18:16,806 --> 00:18:18,197
[gasps]
500
00:18:18,199 --> 00:18:19,198
I know where she went.
501
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,457
I solved it, even on DetectOff!
502
00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:21,383
Ah!
503
00:18:21,385 --> 00:18:22,718
Your mom could go suck a butt!
504
00:18:22,794 --> 00:18:24,562
I'm so sorry.
505
00:18:26,207 --> 00:18:28,798
[suspenseful music]
506
00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,317
- While I'm sorry
you have to die,
507
00:18:30,394 --> 00:18:33,395
if I can inspire just one girl
to believe she can kill
508
00:18:33,472 --> 00:18:35,731
as good as a man,
your horrifying death
509
00:18:35,807 --> 00:18:37,575
will be worth it.
510
00:18:39,387 --> 00:18:41,311
- Did you come here to gloat?
511
00:18:41,313 --> 00:18:43,831
- I have a better idea.
512
00:18:44,058 --> 00:18:45,407
If we're gonna go down,
513
00:18:45,484 --> 00:18:47,168
we're gonna go down together,
514
00:18:47,244 --> 00:18:48,485
like Bonnie and Clyde,
515
00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:50,729
or Thelma and Louise,
or Thelma and Louise
516
00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:52,898
in that deleted scene.
517
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:53,841
- Mr. Flesh?
518
00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:55,509
- Yes, Stan and Deliver?
519
00:18:55,736 --> 00:18:57,160
- I should have
listened to you.
520
00:18:57,254 --> 00:18:59,738
I know all my therapists
say you're pretend,
521
00:18:59,907 --> 00:19:03,684
but you're the only real friend
I've ever had.
522
00:19:07,857 --> 00:19:09,765
Are you crying?
523
00:19:09,841 --> 00:19:10,858
- Oh, what?
524
00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:12,267
No.
525
00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:14,753
[chuckles]
Come on, crying is for babies
526
00:19:14,755 --> 00:19:18,014
and YouTube videos of soldiers
coming home to their dogs.
527
00:19:18,108 --> 00:19:20,567
[sobbing]
Their sweet, sweet dogs.
528
00:19:21,204 --> 00:19:23,595
- Ladies and gentlemen,
for too long
529
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:25,689
Grimsburg has
refused to recognize
530
00:19:25,783 --> 00:19:28,375
the strides women have
made in the art of death--
531
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:32,438
sociopaths like Cyanide Cindy,
the Lawnmower Ma'am,
532
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,623
Jeffrey Dahm-her,
Princess Die--
533
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,776
that's D-I-E-- they all
had to endure having
534
00:19:37,869 --> 00:19:39,869
their grisly work overlooked.
535
00:19:40,005 --> 00:19:41,947
Tonight that ends.
536
00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:44,241
[bell dings]
537
00:19:44,243 --> 00:19:46,952
[dramatic music]
538
00:19:46,954 --> 00:19:47,970
- Family!
539
00:19:48,046 --> 00:19:49,288
I mean, freeze!
540
00:19:49,381 --> 00:19:51,957
- You may have found me,
but you can't stop me
541
00:19:51,976 --> 00:19:52,882
from killing the winner.
542
00:19:52,977 --> 00:19:54,460
- Maybe not.
543
00:19:54,462 --> 00:19:56,295
But you should know,
Stan's not the winner.
544
00:19:56,297 --> 00:19:57,463
- What?
- [gasps]
545
00:19:57,465 --> 00:19:58,464
[all gasp]
546
00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:00,074
- The talent show
rule book clearly states
547
00:20:00,243 --> 00:20:01,942
that contestants may not
be related to any judge
548
00:20:02,169 --> 00:20:03,244
due to a conflict of interest.
549
00:20:03,471 --> 00:20:06,154
Therefore, our son,
Stan, is disqualified.
550
00:20:06,231 --> 00:20:07,897
But there is a winner.
551
00:20:07,992 --> 00:20:09,641
You.
552
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,159
- After everything you did
to get here,
553
00:20:11,236 --> 00:20:13,829
you are truly
Grimsburg's most talented.
554
00:20:13,905 --> 00:20:14,830
We see you.
555
00:20:14,999 --> 00:20:15,998
- I did it!
556
00:20:16,092 --> 00:20:19,093
I'm the talent show winner!
557
00:20:19,169 --> 00:20:22,838
But I kill talent show winners.
558
00:20:22,914 --> 00:20:24,932
All of them.
559
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:26,341
[knife clangs]
560
00:20:27,419 --> 00:20:30,846
- But we appreciate the
strides you've made for women.
561
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,014
- Thank God!
562
00:20:32,108 --> 00:20:33,665
I don't want to die any--
563
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,567
[screams]
564
00:20:38,172 --> 00:20:39,596
- Family.
- Seriously?
565
00:20:39,598 --> 00:20:40,281
Gas money?
566
00:20:40,508 --> 00:20:41,782
You only drove us three blocks.
567
00:20:41,859 --> 00:20:42,841
[engine turning over]
568
00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:44,368
[engine revving]
569
00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:47,529
Whoa, that flying car
just landed on a plane,
570
00:20:47,531 --> 00:20:51,183
and it landed on a cloud,
and the cloud is a rocket!
571
00:20:51,185 --> 00:20:52,367
You know what?
572
00:20:52,444 --> 00:20:54,461
That's still more realistic
than "Furious 7."
573
00:20:57,191 --> 00:20:58,373
- Hell of a voice, child boy.
574
00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,301
You know,
I used to sing myself
575
00:21:00,377 --> 00:21:01,877
before I realized it was
illegal for detectives
576
00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:02,878
to be artistic.
577
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,305
- Wow.
578
00:21:04,456 --> 00:21:06,198
Should we all have
some ice cream at home?
579
00:21:06,291 --> 00:21:07,791
- That would be great.
580
00:21:07,885 --> 00:21:10,728
Maybe you could leave a bowl at
the top of the stairs for me.
581
00:21:13,557 --> 00:21:16,025
- From now on,
you can come upstairs.
582
00:21:17,044 --> 00:21:18,152
[glasses clanking]
583
00:21:18,303 --> 00:21:21,304
- What do you mean there's
a split plate charge?
584
00:21:21,382 --> 00:21:23,048
- Uh, we should go.
585
00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:24,808
[donkey braying]
586
00:21:24,810 --> 00:21:25,692
Hey, wait!
587
00:21:25,769 --> 00:21:28,220
[screaming]
588
00:21:28,222 --> 00:21:31,165
Seeing it now,
he definitely should have won.
589
00:21:34,837 --> 00:21:36,545
- Bento.
41637
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
