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1
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,519
Previously on Velma...
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00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:10,160
- This is who I am.
- That's not true. It can't be.
3
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,400
Because it's not the unknown
that freaks me out.
4
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,759
It's idiots like you who ignore facts
and science that do.
5
00:00:16,719 --> 00:00:18,679
What do you mean
Daphne's brain is missing?
6
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,160
Hey! Put me down!
7
00:00:20,559 --> 00:00:22,039
I'm the serial killer.
8
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,879
And I will keep killing
until I get what I want.
9
00:00:27,359 --> 00:00:30,480
- Who are you?
- We're your parents, Daphne.
10
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:36,320
In the wake of the revelation that the
serial killer is yet another woman,
11
00:00:36,399 --> 00:00:40,280
{\an8}Crystal Cove also elected
Merle Cogburn as sheriff.
12
00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,320
I've experienced plenty
of tense situations in my day.
13
00:00:48,079 --> 00:00:49,840
And now you die, Velma.
14
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,479
So, what'd you think
of my improv show?
15
00:00:53,359 --> 00:00:55,039
But no situation is more tense
16
00:00:55,119 --> 00:00:57,159
than when I'm stuck between
my mom and Sophie.
17
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,640
Front door is open.
18
00:00:58,719 --> 00:01:00,159
You installed an alarm.
19
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,359
Afraid someone will wreck
your home while you're out?
20
00:01:02,439 --> 00:01:04,879
It's so nice
you're able to drop off Velma.
21
00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:06,000
Still no job?
22
00:01:06,079 --> 00:01:08,959
Most of the time, keeping my mom
and Sophie apart is easy.
23
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,400
I can't believe you lost.
The Nate Silver jinx strikes again.
24
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,159
Hey, if you need anything,
we are here for you.
25
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,439
Hey!
Oh, Diya's here.
26
00:01:18,519 --> 00:01:20,400
We're just not here
for you right now. Bye.
27
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,719
This is your newly elected
sheriff, Merle Cogburn.
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00:01:23,799 --> 00:01:26,760
Since we now know
the serial killer is a woman,
29
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,840
{\an8}at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow,
all women in Crystal Cove
30
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,840
{\an8}will be temporarily relocated
to the Crystal Mines.
31
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,480
How will the men know
when to get haircuts?
32
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,599
And is it all of us?
Or just the evil, manipulative ones?
33
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,000
But sometimes, keeping them apart
isn't possible at all.
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00:01:43,079 --> 00:01:46,120
So ladies, leave your
interpersonal issues at home,
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00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,879
'cause it's gonna be
tight down there!
36
00:01:55,959 --> 00:01:58,319
{\an8}Good morning.
I'm live at the Crystal Mines
37
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,959
{\an8}as women prepare to move
underground with a serial killer.
38
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,760
{\an8}Tell me, are you scared?
Or just kind of resigned,
39
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,239
{\an8}like, same old shit
different day?
40
00:02:06,319 --> 00:02:10,479
{\an8}A mix of both. But we'll get through
this with organization, determination,
41
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,280
{\an8}and highly functional alcoholism.
42
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,560
Oh, what a surprise.
43
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,759
The woman who took my house
is turning a blind eye to injustice.
44
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,280
- What's that?
- Go get my inhaler from the car.
45
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,919
If I die in front of
these other moms,
46
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,719
they'll never let you
hear the end of it.
47
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,039
You're not wrong about that.
48
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,159
Help me keep my mom
and Sophie apart in the mines.
49
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,759
I'll do your laundry
for a month.
50
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,639
A week. One load of towels.
But still. Please.
51
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,680
Pass. We suck at everything.
52
00:02:33,759 --> 00:02:37,039
We lost the election and we didn't even
hear Daphne sneak off
53
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,879
to Gigi's cabin last night
54
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,319
to walk in the woods
like Hillary Clinton.
55
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,479
Dr. Perdue said Daphne would be back
in her body and home by now.
56
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,280
Hey, girlie.
Nope. Can't even pretend.
57
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,400
I'm back in my body
and everything hurts.
58
00:02:52,479 --> 00:02:54,080
Okay, but why did
you leave that note?
59
00:02:54,159 --> 00:02:56,400
You said Daphne would be home
by now. Is she okay?
60
00:02:56,479 --> 00:02:58,919
Yes. But she's busy.
61
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,919
Have you found her brain yet?
62
00:03:01,439 --> 00:03:03,680
Anyway, you need
to focus on learning
63
00:03:03,759 --> 00:03:06,400
whether all the murders
are connected to Project SCOOBI.
64
00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:07,719
I know, I have my file.
65
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,639
The one good thing about
being sent to the mines
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00:03:09,719 --> 00:03:11,400
is the amount of people
I can talk to.
67
00:03:11,479 --> 00:03:12,879
But are you sure Daphne's okay?
68
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,479
We had a big fight
and I'm worried
69
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,120
that's why she won't
get on the phone.
70
00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:18,080
Yep. She's not talking
because she's mad at you.
71
00:03:18,159 --> 00:03:20,639
This is your fault, not mine. Bye.
72
00:03:29,439 --> 00:03:31,680
Wow, this is really just so nice.
73
00:03:31,759 --> 00:03:34,560
I love it and can already
think of so many uses for it.
74
00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:36,159
But I'd really just
like to get home.
75
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,479
Is there any chance
you guys could return me...
76
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,759
Now don't you worry, ladies.
77
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,599
You will only be in the mines
for 48 hours. Why?
78
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,520
That's how long it will take for
the killer to pick us off one by one?
79
00:03:58,599 --> 00:04:01,639
No, Velma. Thanks to me,
we have a recording of the killer.
80
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:05,199
And now that we can focus on it
instead of losing our dongs,
81
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,080
we'll figure out which of you
is the killer in no time.
82
00:04:08,159 --> 00:04:10,960
This isn't Merle's
first day as Sheriff.
83
00:04:11,039 --> 00:04:12,280
It's his second.
84
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:16,120
Okay, but where do we go if we don't
identify as female or male?
85
00:04:16,199 --> 00:04:19,160
Already thought of that.
I respect all gender identities.
86
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,519
And I don't want to get
yelled at on social media.
87
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,959
So I am paying
for you and yours
88
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,040
to skip town
for a couple of days.
89
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,839
The rest of you,
get in that mine.
90
00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:30,639
Well, see you in 48 hours.
91
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,519
Until then, enjoy watching
a man in a suit do the weather
92
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,399
instead of a woman
in an extremely tight dress,
93
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,000
you dumb assholes.
94
00:04:40,959 --> 00:04:42,399
Will you be okay without Mom?
95
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,079
- Do you have enough weed?
- Weed?
96
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,480
I don't need weed to be
away from your mother.
97
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,319
I need something much stronger.
Want some?
98
00:04:48,399 --> 00:04:49,920
Thanks, but I need to be alert.
99
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,480
My hallucinations
may have an external trigger
100
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,360
and I'm gonna
figure out what it is. Oh, God!
101
00:04:53,439 --> 00:04:56,120
I sure hope so.
Even I'm getting tired of this...
102
00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:58,199
Hey, my eyes are up here, pal.
103
00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:00,600
What? No, I'm just
looking through your hole.
104
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,000
You killed me, Norville.
105
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,360
Oh, gosh!
106
00:05:10,639 --> 00:05:12,759
Wait, that's it.
I know how to get rid of you.
107
00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:14,639
Offering me tap water?
108
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,959
Fred, you trigger
my hallucinations.
109
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,600
And you trigger
my disdain for nerds.
110
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,319
No. Look, I think I hallucinate
111
00:05:21,399 --> 00:05:23,519
because I'm the only one
who can tell you the truth.
112
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,360
My grandma couldn't
have possessed your mom
113
00:05:25,439 --> 00:05:27,079
because my grandma
is still alive.
114
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,040
That's impossible. I've accepted
my mom wasn't great,
115
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,199
but no way she wanted
to replace my brain.
116
00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:33,600
She was possessed.
117
00:05:37,079 --> 00:05:38,399
Whoa, this is nice.
118
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,120
Throw pillows as far as
the eye can see.
119
00:05:41,199 --> 00:05:44,319
Free continental breakfast?
These ladies thought of everything.
120
00:05:44,399 --> 00:05:45,879
There's even a place
to brag about
121
00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:48,279
how discounted the sweater
you just bought was.
122
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,639
Sure, but where do you complain
that the person you bragged to
123
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,160
wasn't impressed enough?
Oh, there.
124
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,240
Serial killer.
125
00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:57,279
Sorry, I know we're jumpy from being
locked in here with the killer.
126
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,920
Just wanted to give you
your welcome packet,
127
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,800
along with your
chore assignment,
128
00:06:00,879 --> 00:06:03,800
camping location,
and most importantly, drink tickets.
129
00:06:03,879 --> 00:06:06,439
Mommy loves wine
more than me.
130
00:06:07,759 --> 00:06:09,480
A Baby Babble Box?
131
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,839
Wait, right, you all
hang out with Sophie.
132
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,959
Yeah. We're in
a mommy group together
133
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,319
where we measure
our babies against each other.
134
00:06:16,399 --> 00:06:18,439
I'm the precocious-est.
135
00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:20,839
But don't worry,
136
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,360
we know to camp you two
as far from Sophie as possible.
137
00:06:23,439 --> 00:06:25,199
This is campsite Rose.
138
00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,800
You're all the way over
at campsite Frose.
139
00:06:27,879 --> 00:06:30,120
Phew! I'm worried enough
about the serial killer.
140
00:06:30,199 --> 00:06:32,800
I don't need my mom and Sophie
also trying to kill each other.
141
00:06:32,879 --> 00:06:34,680
- Thank you for telling them, Olive.
- It wasn't me.
142
00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:37,839
These nosy bitches are just up
in everyone's business.
143
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,800
Perfect. Once I get
Mom settled,
144
00:06:39,879 --> 00:06:41,199
I'm gonna get
these women talking
145
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,920
like they just saw a trailer
for a new Jake Gyllenhaal movie.
146
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,480
Velma, speak up.
Muttering in public is low-class,
147
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,600
and I don't want to get moved
to campsite Canned Rose.
148
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,000
Hello?
What happened?
149
00:06:57,399 --> 00:06:58,519
Where am I?
150
00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,600
Wait, am I dead?
151
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,720
But I haven't even gone through
my blonde phase yet.
152
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,480
- This is unfair.
- Daph, you're not dead.
153
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:05,560
Your jar fritzed out.
154
00:07:05,639 --> 00:07:07,319
Meaning you have
no sensory input
155
00:07:07,399 --> 00:07:10,120
and are trapped in your mind
until someone finds your brain.
156
00:07:10,199 --> 00:07:13,120
What? If this is my mind,
what are you doing in here?
157
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:15,240
I never think about you guys.
I'm a teenager.
158
00:07:15,319 --> 00:07:17,160
I barely even think about
the parents I love.
159
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,240
Okay, but you put yourself in a jar
to figure out who you are.
160
00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:23,759
And who better than
your birth parents to help you
161
00:07:23,839 --> 00:07:24,839
search your memories
for the answer.
162
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,480
Literally, anyone.
And if I'm controlling this,
163
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,279
why can't one of you be Velma
and the other one a hot tub?
164
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,360
Oh, you don't think
we'll get to Velma?
165
00:07:32,439 --> 00:07:34,680
I don't know what you mean.
166
00:07:34,759 --> 00:07:38,160
You will soon enough.
Anyway, from this classic white void,
167
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,560
there's a couple of ways these
memory-inspired journeys can go:
168
00:07:41,639 --> 00:07:43,759
trial, chased by a giant pencil,
169
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,839
go to a meaningful place
where each thing is a memory.
170
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,160
Oh, that one sounds nice.
171
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,399
- It isn't.
- The Crystal Mines?
172
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,560
Welcome, ladies!
173
00:07:58,639 --> 00:08:01,120
Hope you don't mind sleeping
next to some old bats.
174
00:08:01,199 --> 00:08:03,519
And I don't mean
the Chiroptera flying above us.
175
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,120
It's bad enough we're stuck down here
with the serial killer,
176
00:08:09,199 --> 00:08:11,120
but we're also stuck
with the loser moms
177
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:13,040
because Sophie
got the good ones.
178
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:14,319
- Of course.
- Good ones?
179
00:08:14,399 --> 00:08:16,600
In your phone, you have Maxine
and Susan listed
180
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,839
as "Evil gossip monster.
Do not answer while drunk."
181
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,360
And at least,
we're nowhere near Sophie.
182
00:08:21,439 --> 00:08:22,480
- Velma.
- Oh God.
183
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,519
The cool moms and I
haven't seen Daphne in here
184
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,199
and I wondered if it's because
you guys are still on the rocks.
185
00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:30,519
What? I didn't know that you
and Daphne were on the rocks.
186
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,120
You didn't? Weird.
187
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,519
I mean, it's been like that
since the seance.
188
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,679
Seance? What?
189
00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:39,000
Velma, do you tell Sophie more
about your life than me, your mother?
190
00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:42,480
How long has this
been going on?
191
00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:45,279
Did I not tell you, the highest regard
you can hold for Sophie is
192
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:46,799
"aunt who gives good presents"?
193
00:08:46,879 --> 00:08:49,200
You did. It's just sometimes easier
to talk to Sophie
194
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,399
because I actually care
about your opinion.
195
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,679
When I tell you about Daphne,
196
00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:54,679
you just criticize me
and assume it's my fault.
197
00:08:54,759 --> 00:08:56,519
Because most things
are your fault.
198
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,039
And it's my job to point that out.
199
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,120
I know, but talking
to Sophie never hurts.
200
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,559
It's like talking to a wall.
201
00:09:01,639 --> 00:09:04,039
She only responds
in lame framed quotes.
202
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,679
Your responses are like framed quotes
in male dorm rooms.
203
00:09:06,759 --> 00:09:10,279
- Aggressive and frightening.
- Excuses don't get results, bro.
204
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,519
Okay, I see what you mean.
205
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,879
And this whole situation
really is Aman's fault.
206
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,919
He's the one who told Sophie
I'd abandoned him
207
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,759
when I was actually kidnapped.
208
00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:19,720
Maybe I could be nicer to her.
209
00:09:19,799 --> 00:09:22,799
Thank you. And I actually have
something only you can help me with.
210
00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:24,399
Fine. I guess it's time.
211
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,720
When two people
love each other,
212
00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:29,440
or it's your
husband's birthday...
213
00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:32,480
No! I need to get info
on the murder victims from the moms.
214
00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,440
But if I do it, the serial killer
might figure out I'm onto them
215
00:09:35,519 --> 00:09:36,919
and go even deeper into hiding.
216
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,320
Yes. It will be like that other mystery
we solved together.
217
00:09:39,399 --> 00:09:41,240
Who keeps forgetting
to feed the cat?
218
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,480
Who would have guessed
it was both of us?
219
00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:44,840
I'm the serial killer.
220
00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:47,799
And I will keep killing
until I get what I want.
221
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,399
I got it. I know who it is.
222
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,799
The guy sitting next to me
looks like James Marsden.
223
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:59,879
Of course. Now, any thoughts on
the serial killer's identity?
224
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,360
Fred, please,
you have to listen to me.
225
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:04,960
My grandmother is alive.
226
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:06,919
Yeah? Where?
I'd love to meet her.
227
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,759
Grandmothers love me.
I remind them of a simpler time.
228
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:13,200
She's wanted by the government,
so I can't reveal her location.
229
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,759
So I just have
to trust that she exists?
230
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,120
I already went down this road
with the Catholic Church, bro.
231
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,279
But hot nuns
are only in the movies.
232
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,480
Hey, hey. We're trying
to catch a serial killer.
233
00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,320
- Quit squabbling.
- We have no choice but to squabble.
234
00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:27,799
Okay, well, we've
been working hard.
235
00:10:27,879 --> 00:10:30,559
I guess we could take
a little break to settle an argument.
236
00:10:30,639 --> 00:10:32,720
But we're gonna
settle it like men.
237
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,759
- Endless litigation.
- No.
238
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,960
With the women gone,
239
00:10:36,039 --> 00:10:39,080
I'm emboldened to revive
an older, more honorable way
240
00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:40,600
for men to settle disputes.
241
00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,039
Chili cook-off.
242
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,240
Wait, to figure out if my grandma's
alive and Fred's mom's a killer?
243
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,440
Works for me.
244
00:10:51,639 --> 00:10:53,440
Each crystal holds a memory.
245
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:56,960
Though most of these are just you
doom scrolling social media.
246
00:10:57,039 --> 00:10:58,360
It's when I'm happiest.
247
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,919
But I need memories that will help me
figure out who I truly am.
248
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,639
A popular girl? A Wiccan?
249
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,399
Maybe someone who
signs their emails, "Cheers"?
250
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,919
You didn't put your brain in a jar
to figure out if you're popular or not.
251
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,600
You want to know if you're
a good person or a bad person.
252
00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,519
No, I don't.
I know I'm a good person.
253
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,039
I post on my socials
whenever there's an election.
254
00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,320
Well, I heard Moira wanted
to get rabies from that bat.
255
00:11:28,279 --> 00:11:30,840
A flying carrot?
Now I've seen everything.
256
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,720
How funny.
Wow. Amanda,
257
00:11:35,799 --> 00:11:37,759
do you have
a precocious quip too?
258
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,840
Carrot? More like parrot.
259
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,080
Because it flies.
260
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:52,240
Remember, sweetie, if you have
to explain it, it's not funny.
261
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:53,879
Here comes the drama.
262
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,639
Cameras down.
We're not here to fight.
263
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,000
We've just realized we're
at a low-enough point in our lives
264
00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,759
to start gardening
and have questions.
265
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,720
Really? That's great.
266
00:12:01,799 --> 00:12:04,679
Gardening is such
a wonderful stress reliever.
267
00:12:04,759 --> 00:12:09,279
It alleviates my anxieties, so I can be
a better mom and homemaker.
268
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:10,600
Happy to teach you.
269
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:13,559
Easy, Mom.
270
00:12:14,279 --> 00:12:15,960
Then, sign me up.
271
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,840
Though, I heard the coroners
had the best garden.
272
00:12:18,919 --> 00:12:21,559
Or does gossiping about the men
in town not interest you?
273
00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:25,320
Are you insane?
The coroners' garden was incredible,
274
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,639
but they were so nasty
whenever I asked about it.
275
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,200
Can you be more specific
about their nastiness?
276
00:12:30,279 --> 00:12:32,080
Where was it on a scale of one
277
00:12:32,159 --> 00:12:34,799
to how we treat actresses
we feel are too famous?
278
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:37,759
They told me
to "stick to succulents".
279
00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,360
And they only got meaner
over the past two months.
280
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,320
- They will not be missed.
- Well, neither will Father O'Rourke.
281
00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:46,480
He pushed Sammy's baptism
a whole week
282
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:47,960
because of some "work thing".
283
00:12:48,039 --> 00:12:50,480
Maybe we should've elected
the serial killer Sheriff.
284
00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:52,039
She's taking out
the trash in this town.
285
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,159
Okay, not to be that person,
286
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,080
but as two people who were
almost killed by a serial killer,
287
00:12:58,159 --> 00:12:59,559
this hits a little close to home.
288
00:12:59,639 --> 00:13:03,919
- Who called the fun police?
- Yeah, Diya, it's fun.
289
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,320
If you're a sick freak.
290
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,840
A serial killer is never funny.
And she might not even be in here.
291
00:13:10,919 --> 00:13:13,039
Our husbands could be dead,
and no one is there
292
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,399
to sprinkle cornstarch
on the blood stains, you monsters.
293
00:13:17,759 --> 00:13:18,919
Thank you, Sophie.
294
00:13:19,879 --> 00:13:21,960
You're right.
That was insensitive.
295
00:13:22,039 --> 00:13:23,919
But looking at chore assignments,
296
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,919
we have all the help
we really need with meal prep.
297
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,840
Would you three mind scraping the bat
shit off the playground equipment?
298
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,279
Talk about a crappy job.
299
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,480
Why did you bring me
to this memory?
300
00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:39,879
I've learned what
I'm supposed to learn.
301
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,279
Life is about the little things
and Christmas is important.
302
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,519
- Let's go!
- No.
303
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,679
We brought you here
because on this occasion,
304
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:47,720
you made a very important
moral choice.
305
00:13:47,799 --> 00:13:50,639
It was either showing you this,
or every time you chose to eat meat.
306
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,679
Enjoy terraforming Mars, jerk.
307
00:13:52,759 --> 00:13:55,120
But this was still pretty bad,
don't you think?
308
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,039
That seance did not go well.
309
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,960
And while I don't care
what people think of me,
310
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,480
I know you do.
311
00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,879
So I really mean it when I say,
"sucks to be you."
312
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,679
It went badly because of Velma.
313
00:14:04,759 --> 00:14:07,720
She's just jealous of you and had
to ruin something I cared about.
314
00:14:07,799 --> 00:14:09,000
Like when she made me look up
315
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,759
"friendship bracelet
sweatshops Taiwan."
316
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,960
Velma does have a lot to learn.
317
00:14:13,039 --> 00:14:17,519
Yeah. Hey, maybe we should
teach her a lesson?
318
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,080
What do you mean?
319
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,159
Let's go someplace more private.
320
00:14:22,759 --> 00:14:24,159
Are you sure?
321
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,080
Stop doubting me,
that's Velma's thing.
322
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,960
No! Stop!
323
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,879
You can't erase the past, Daph.
324
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,360
Fine. But you heard me.
325
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,679
It was Velma's fault.
I was justified.
326
00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:38,639
It's okay.
Your parents are no good.
327
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,519
Makes perfect sense
you're no good too.
328
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:44,120
But you're not even my parents.
You're just projections of me. See?
329
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,919
Oh, what the hell?
We were kidding,
330
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,080
but now we think
you really are a bad person.
331
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,320
Now some might call this
an act of procrastination
332
00:14:57,399 --> 00:14:59,200
by a man who has realized
333
00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:01,600
he has no idea
how to catch a serial killer.
334
00:15:01,679 --> 00:15:03,679
But they would be wrong.
335
00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:06,080
By more efficiently
settling disputes,
336
00:15:06,159 --> 00:15:09,279
I will have more time
to find the serial killer.
337
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,799
Now you've all been
simmering for six hours. It's time.
338
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,799
And the winner is...
339
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,200
- Fred.
- Yes!
340
00:15:20,279 --> 00:15:21,600
Norville, it's decided.
341
00:15:21,679 --> 00:15:24,080
Your grandmother is dead
and her ghost forced Fred's mom
342
00:15:24,159 --> 00:15:25,679
to commit those heinous crimes.
343
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:30,000
This isn't fair. A chili contest with
a single judge is tyranny.
344
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,679
Mmm, good point.
345
00:15:31,759 --> 00:15:34,679
Everyone, try the chili
and we'll take it to a vote.
346
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:37,840
Then we'll find the serial killer.
347
00:15:37,919 --> 00:15:40,600
Yeah, I'm not procrastinating,
just being fair.
348
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,320
Norville's tastes weird.
349
00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:46,039
Must be the sleeping pills.
350
00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:52,879
Oh, hey, Diya.
Little cleaning hack.
351
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,679
If you scrub in
a circular motion,
352
00:15:54,759 --> 00:15:57,279
you'll go faster
and tone your triceps.
353
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,600
You're welcome.
354
00:15:58,679 --> 00:16:00,039
Oh, you just think
you're so perfect, don't you?
355
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,120
Oh, here it comes.
356
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,200
Well, I tried to keep them
from killing each other.
357
00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:04,480
Perfect? Wait.
358
00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:06,799
Are you mean to me
because you're jealous of me?
359
00:16:06,879 --> 00:16:09,559
Of course. You have a career.
You made my house better.
360
00:16:09,639 --> 00:16:11,799
And your baby's more socialized
than mine will ever be.
361
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,080
That's crazy.
I'm the one who's jealous.
362
00:16:15,159 --> 00:16:17,159
Aman and I are total opposites.
363
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,279
I'm constantly worried
he'll want you back.
364
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,039
You're both grumpy,
and okay with bad dye jobs.
365
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,440
That's crazy.
You're perfect for Aman.
366
00:16:24,519 --> 00:16:26,440
You don't even care that
he keeps his porno mags
367
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,159
in a box labeled
"Aman's treats."
368
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,159
Hey, as much as
I love hearing about this,
369
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,360
I'm trying to investigate.
370
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,159
Stop. You're only investigating
to get out of working.
371
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,000
Ugh! She always does that.
372
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,320
"Velma, unload the dishwasher."
"I'm investigating."
373
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,799
"Velma, brush your hair."
"I'm investigating."
374
00:16:41,879 --> 00:16:45,519
No, you're right. Doing chores
is more important than saving lives.
375
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,240
That's why every kid
dresses up as Alfred
376
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,679
and not Batman on Halloween.
377
00:16:48,759 --> 00:16:52,039
- Velma, don't be so thin-skinned.
- "I'm investigating."
378
00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:55,000
It was better when
you hated each other.
379
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,759
You here to take
this job from us?
380
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,639
Oh, how far we've fallen.
381
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,759
No, I'm escaping some exceptionally
dorky mom bonding.
382
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,200
- I'm watching you.
- What? Who said that?
383
00:17:07,279 --> 00:17:10,920
- Don't you recognize my voice?
- It's the serial killer.
384
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,319
Oh God! Where's Amanda?
385
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,079
The serial killer? Run away.
386
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,960
Hold on, Amanda.
Hold on, baby.
387
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,759
Oh, God!
What do we do?
388
00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:28,039
It's okay. I have an idea.
As long as this rock holds...
389
00:17:28,759 --> 00:17:30,039
Crap. I'm out of ideas.
390
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,079
We got this. We just ran
to get our stun guns.
391
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,839
That's why Linda
yelled "Run away."
392
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,759
Sorry if it was misleading.
393
00:17:36,839 --> 00:17:39,000
Stun guns? No,
it's Amanda down there.
394
00:17:39,079 --> 00:17:40,960
We don't know
where the serial killer is.
395
00:17:48,519 --> 00:17:52,119
Oh, my God. That was amazing.
I'd love a turn if there's time.
396
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,559
No, of course. Amanda,
where's the serial killer?
397
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,279
No killer.
Just me pretending. But I slipped.
398
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,799
Wait, you were pretending
to be the serial killer?
399
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,880
Why? And how?
400
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,880
I thought funny?
401
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,119
Holy crap. Do you
know what this means?
402
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,759
Yeah. It means that while
Amanda's still not funny,
403
00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:14,839
this situation is hilarious.
404
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,759
Velma? Velma!
Why can't I find Velma?
405
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,200
Is it because I am bad and bad people
don't deserve good things?
406
00:18:23,279 --> 00:18:26,200
Not at all.
I hit my wife's lover with a car
407
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:30,119
and the next day, found an uneaten
container of fries on a bench.
408
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,319
Velma!
409
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,680
What's happening?
410
00:18:36,759 --> 00:18:39,319
It's because you can't
look her in the eye, Daphne.
411
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,400
Because my conscience
won't let me.
412
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,720
And only good people
are hampered by their guilt.
413
00:18:44,799 --> 00:18:47,839
I'm good. Oh, God!
I'm good.
414
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,839
Which means
I have to tell her what I did.
415
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,559
- Crap.
- You finally get the point.
416
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:53,559
Pencil joke.
417
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,880
Okay, I learned my lesson.
How do I wake up?
418
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,720
Even if she never talks to me again,
Velma deserves the truth.
419
00:18:59,799 --> 00:19:02,640
And I maybe deserve some sort
of award for being so good and brave?
420
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,119
Wake up?
421
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,920
Daphne, don't you get it yet?
You're in hell.
422
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,240
Kidding. But if this is
anything like a bad dream,
423
00:19:09,319 --> 00:19:11,279
usually you wake up
at the worst part.
424
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,079
Don't say I never
did anything for you.
425
00:19:13,599 --> 00:19:15,880
Velma!
426
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:18,400
Velma!
427
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,119
Oh, you were all holier than thou
428
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,200
while we were talking
about the serial killer.
429
00:19:23,279 --> 00:19:25,880
Then you let your daughter go play
a sick joke like this?
430
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,839
She only did that to keep up with
your thirsty baby's early onset
431
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,000
theater kid disorder.
432
00:19:31,559 --> 00:19:33,240
I'd be careful what you say.
433
00:19:33,319 --> 00:19:36,240
I write blind items for
the gossip column of the paper
434
00:19:36,319 --> 00:19:38,240
and I'm not afraid
to put you on blast.
435
00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:42,119
Wait, you write those?
You told the whole town I huffed paint.
436
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,720
Only my family
is supposed to know that.
437
00:19:45,759 --> 00:19:47,039
Wait, that's it.
438
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,839
- We know who the serial killer is.
- What?
439
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,079
Wait, is it you?
Because I raised you better than that.
440
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,119
No. I mean we collectively know
who the serial killer is.
441
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,079
Look, women
are hella observant.
442
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,279
We know everything about everyone.
So instead of attacking each other,
443
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:04,640
maybe we can use our skills
of observation to solve the case.
444
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,839
But you said talking openly
would tip off the serial killer
445
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,759
who, if she's listening, is super-hot
and cool and please don't kill me.
446
00:20:10,839 --> 00:20:15,279
I think the killer disguised their voice
using a Baby Babble Box.
447
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:16,480
It could be a man.
448
00:20:21,759 --> 00:20:25,799
Hmm, what happened?
How did I get back in my body?
449
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,519
The cockroaches
brought you back.
450
00:20:27,599 --> 00:20:29,359
You really have
some fans in those guys.
451
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,880
They made you a crown
out of rotting fruit and hair.
452
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,559
- Do you want to keep it?
- No.
453
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,160
What? All I know is that
I need to find Velma.
454
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,519
Wait, Fred?
What's he doing here?
455
00:20:38,599 --> 00:20:40,000
Where am I?
456
00:20:40,079 --> 00:20:42,119
Norville, if you're trying
to human traffic me,
457
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,079
my dad already tried
and the guys just said, "too clingy".
458
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,599
My grandson apparently thought
it was a good idea
459
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,519
to sneak a friend into
my top-secret hideout
460
00:20:49,599 --> 00:20:51,200
to solve a personal dispute.
461
00:20:51,279 --> 00:20:54,839
Fred, this is my living grandmother,
Dr. Edna Perdue.
462
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,440
What?
Oh, God. No.
463
00:20:58,519 --> 00:21:01,079
My mother wasn't possessed
and really was a killer.
464
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,480
That means I'm half-killer.
465
00:21:02,559 --> 00:21:04,960
Or full-killer,
if you go by Judaism rules.
466
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:09,440
Norville, have there been any changes
in your hallucinations?
467
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:12,720
I think that worked.
468
00:21:12,799 --> 00:21:15,240
She's fading faster than my dad
after one hard seltzer.
469
00:21:15,319 --> 00:21:17,640
Yes. That did it!
470
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,160
She's gone.
471
00:21:26,079 --> 00:21:29,519
Wait, what's going on?
What am I?
472
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:33,920
Let's pool what we know to figure out
how the victims are connected.
473
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,559
Does anybody have anything
I could use to tape this up?
474
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,440
- I have some thumbtacks.
- I have tape and glue.
475
00:21:38,519 --> 00:21:40,359
I have six years'
worth of receipts.
476
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,319
Okay, so to start,
477
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,960
does "Project SCOOBI"
mean anything to any of you?
478
00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:48,400
Yes. Don usually doesn't like
to talk about work,
479
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,279
but one day he brought home
the Baby Babble Boxes
480
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:52,799
saying he made them
at the office.
481
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,720
Project SCOOBI
was written on the box.
482
00:21:54,799 --> 00:21:56,160
You said you invented those.
483
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,559
And you said you finished
that Jonathan Franzen novel
484
00:21:58,640 --> 00:21:59,640
before our book club meeting.
485
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,000
No fighting.
486
00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:03,920
A few months ago, I took my daughter
for tutoring at Mr. S's.
487
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,559
He was on the phone
when we arrived
488
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,440
and I heard him say
Project SCOOBI.
489
00:22:07,519 --> 00:22:09,720
I remember because
I was staring at his mouth
490
00:22:09,799 --> 00:22:11,559
and thinking
disgusting thoughts.
491
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,920
Hey, stay on track.
492
00:22:15,519 --> 00:22:18,240
I'm a nurse at the hospital
and I was kicked out of the morgue
493
00:22:18,319 --> 00:22:20,559
because the coroners
had an appointment with a lawyer
494
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,920
and all these other men.
495
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,640
Which is strange because
only surgeons need lawyers
496
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,079
for when they operate drunk.
497
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:30,079
Okay, so not only were all the victims
aware of Project SCOOBI,
498
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,519
they took a meeting
with a lawyer at the hospital.
499
00:22:32,599 --> 00:22:34,559
Do you remember
what he looked like?
500
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,519
Yes.
It was your dad.
501
00:22:37,319 --> 00:22:38,240
What?
502
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,920
{\an8}Good evening.
Just moments ago,
503
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,240
{\an8}the women exited the mines
facing zero resistance.
504
00:22:53,319 --> 00:22:55,160
{\an8}And now we know why.
505
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:00,160
{\an8}What's more, Aman Dinkley
has been identified
506
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,640
{\an8}as a person of interest
in the recent murders.
507
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,480
I'm not saying a thing.
508
00:23:04,559 --> 00:23:07,319
He can't be the killer. I have an app
that tracks his location,
509
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,039
monitors his heart rate,
and records all his conversations.
510
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:11,640
He's lucky to have
found you, Sophie.
511
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,720
'Cause I would have
just told them to fry the sucker.
512
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:17,359
- Daphne, you're back!
- Velma, what's going on?
513
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,759
It's my dad.
He's somehow involved.
514
00:23:19,839 --> 00:23:23,319
But, Daphne, look, I am so sorry
about what I said at the seance.
515
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,000
I don't care if you're a witch.
516
00:23:25,079 --> 00:23:26,920
I don't even care that
you're friends with Amber.
517
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,640
I just want to be with you.
518
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,160
Velma, I have
to tell you something.
519
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,759
I really like Amber.
520
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:35,960
Okay...
521
00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:38,960
But I like you more.
522
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,640
And that's it.
That's all I have to tell you.
523
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:42,759
Cheers.
40282
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