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1
00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:18,584
- Stupid weddings.
2
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,753
- Here they are!
Aren't they Beau--
3
00:00:20,755 --> 00:00:22,121
ray!
4
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,723
I left you up here
an hour ago.
5
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,191
I showered, did my hair,
6
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,793
got the kids up,
got them dressed.
7
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,461
Kids, go downstairs.
Mommy's yelling.
8
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,697
And you can't even
do yourself?
9
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,166
- What?
I'm ready.
10
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,467
- Everyone is waiting
for you.
11
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,069
Oh, look at this.
12
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:40,205
Look, this goes on
after the pants, Einstein.
13
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,407
Here, get--
14
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:45,477
do you realize
that it is a--
15
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,680
it's a three-hour drive
to Pennsylvania.
16
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,449
Amy is waiting for me.
17
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:53,385
Robert is a nervous wreck.
I mean, come on.
18
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,654
- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
19
00:00:55,656 --> 00:01:00,125
You might be a little too angry
to do the zipper.
20
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:01,660
- What have you been doing?
21
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,128
- I got the speech--
22
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,696
the fricking toast thing
I got to do.
23
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,166
- Would you stop obsessing
about the toast?
24
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,834
Just say something
funny and heartfelt.
25
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:12,404
Nobody cares.
26
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,405
- Where is he?
27
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,341
- He's still in there.
28
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,777
- What are you doing?
29
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,112
- What?
I'm coming.
30
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,647
- Would you hurry?
31
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,549
Ma's already yelling at dad,
because he dripped
32
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,385
egg and cheese sandwich
on his tux.
33
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:27,686
Just get in the Van!
34
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,555
This is the biggest day
of my life.
35
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:33,659
- That's what you said
at your last wedding.
36
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,695
- What's that,
a smart remark?
37
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,430
- No.
- Huh?
38
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,100
You're bringing up
my first marriage today, huh?
39
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,401
You trying to jinx me, Raymond?
40
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:43,836
- No.
No.
41
00:01:43,838 --> 00:01:45,571
- don't mess with me today,
Raymond, okay?
42
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:49,708
- I'm just--
- do not mess with me today!
43
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:53,378
This is my wedding day,
and I'm in no mood for fun!
44
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,384
- Then you're gonna
love marriage.
45
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:19,505
- Robbie?
46
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,907
- Ma, this is the men's room.
47
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,675
- Raymond told me
you were in here.
48
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,177
What are you doing?
49
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:26,678
- Nothing, ma.
50
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,780
I just wanted a little
alone time before the ceremony.
51
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:29,781
- Oh, okay.
52
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,885
I'll stay with you.
53
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:36,722
Can we go somewhere else?
54
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:39,191
- No, ma, I want
to stay in here.
55
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,759
Remember last time
I got married,
56
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,461
I saw joanne
before the wedding?
57
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,429
I think that put the whammy
on the whole marriage.
58
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,365
- Oh, honey.
59
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:49,501
The problem there was,
you saw her after the wedding.
60
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,172
- All right,
out, mom.
61
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:55,307
- No, but--
- no, come on.
62
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,442
You already got Gianni
looking for a fire hydrant.
63
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:58,911
Come on.
64
00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:00,913
Look, look, look,
you want to help?
65
00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:02,648
See if you can find
the reverend guy, okay?
66
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,483
He'll be the one
with the big book.
67
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:07,719
- Yeah, but I need to talk to--
- no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
68
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,388
- Whoa, thanks, man.
69
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,657
- Yeah, always happy
to do that.
70
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:12,858
So how you doing?
71
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,661
You fast, you loose,
you throwing up?
72
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,429
- I'm fine.
73
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,299
You know, just wanted
a little alone time, that's all.
74
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:23,569
- Yeah.
Let me ask you something.
75
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,939
Now that you and Amy
are getting married,
76
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:30,475
what's the one
"special thing"
77
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,744
that you two have
78
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:35,948
that a group of people
would want to hear about?
79
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,253
- You've got nothing
for the toast.
80
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,722
- I got plenty.
81
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,757
What do you got?
82
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:50,796
- Oh!
83
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:52,664
Great.
You're both here.
84
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:53,665
- Yeah.
85
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,635
- How's it going?
86
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:57,769
- Fine, Peter.
87
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:58,770
What is it?
88
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,572
- Well, nothing.
89
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,609
I just wanted to see you two
before blastoff and everything.
90
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,310
What do you think
about the tux?
91
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:08,714
I rented it.
92
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:12,384
- Yeah, that's a good fit.
- Thank you.
93
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,820
Guys, look, this is
really hard for me.
94
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,989
Um, I've had some issues
95
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,757
with this whole
marriage agenda,
96
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,526
but I've had some time
to reflect,
97
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:27,399
and I realize that
I may have been a wiener.
98
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,900
- No, that's okay, Peter.
99
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:29,901
- No, it's not okay.
100
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,570
We're gonna be family,
101
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:35,407
and I just--I want to be able
to call you guys--
102
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,976
both of you,
103
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:41,313
brother-man.
104
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:42,314
- All right.
105
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,548
All right.
Okay.
106
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:44,816
Welcome to our lives.
107
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,785
- Okay.
108
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,053
- It's all right.
Thank you.
109
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,888
Thank you, Peter.
- Well, thank you.
110
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:53,325
And now I shall
take my leave.
111
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,394
Have a great day.
112
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:03,935
- That psycho's
gonna pull some crap.
113
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:04,936
Right?
- Yup.
114
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,305
- Now, listen.
115
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,606
You got to stick
with him, Raymond.
116
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:08,840
Go. Go now.
You got to follow him.
117
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,342
- I don't want to be--
118
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,677
- no, no, listen, listen,
just do it.
119
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,378
He's gonna
wreck the wedding.
120
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:16,915
That guy has squirrels
juggling knives in his head.
121
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,617
- No, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
122
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,552
Before I go, one thing funny
and then heartfelt.
123
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,789
- Go!
124
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,390
- Look out.
125
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,925
I got egg and cheese sandwich
on my crotch.
126
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:30,062
- Oh, great.
Great!
127
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,630
- What's your problem?
128
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:32,898
- Nothing.
Nothing, dad.
129
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,933
How are you today?
130
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,501
- None too happy.
131
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,938
I just found out
it's gonna be a cash bar.
132
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:43,709
And the scuttlebutt is,
the food will be skimpy.
133
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,077
- Yeah, and of course,
the only reason
134
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,378
why you're here today
135
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,347
is so you can
stuff your face.
136
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,882
- I enjoy life.
137
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:56,555
So anyway, no offense,
but the party's gonna blow.
138
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,390
- Well, I think it's nice
that the macdougalls
139
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,093
have offered to help me and Amy
pay for the wedding at all.
140
00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:02,728
- You saying I should've
chipped in?
141
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,062
- No.
142
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,664
- I chipped in
your last wedding
143
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,466
and Ray's wedding.
144
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:08,934
And by the way,
145
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:12,137
the broad's family
is supposed to pay,
146
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,741
and it is to be
a full bar
147
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,709
free of charge
148
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,579
with top-shelf hooch.
149
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,748
Read your Bible.
150
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,920
- Must've missed that passage.
151
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:32,057
- You got some nerve complaining
I haven't given enough.
152
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,059
Need I remind you
of 40 years of room
153
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:38,597
and enormous amounts of board?
154
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,767
- Look, dad, dad,
I'm sorry, okay?
155
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,001
I'm just a little,
you know--
156
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,503
I want it to go well today,
157
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:45,904
so I apologize.
158
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,172
I appreciate everything,
159
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:52,010
and you're a sensational father.
160
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:56,148
- Well, you know,
I apologize too.
161
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:57,849
I guess everyone's
kind of on edge today,
162
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,418
but you'll be okay.
163
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,453
You're used to this
type of thing,
164
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:04,923
being a cop,
seeing murders, and whatnot.
165
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:13,665
- Thanks.
166
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,902
I feel better.
167
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,503
- Good.
168
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,505
Let's hope you
picked a winner this time.
169
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,036
- Hey.
170
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,938
- Hey, ray.
- Hi, ray.
171
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,973
- Hi.
Hi.
172
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,776
So how's my groom?
173
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,978
- He's, you know, stoked.
174
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,947
- Aw.
175
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,053
- So how's it going in here?
176
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,521
- Going great.
177
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,556
Doesn't Amy look beautiful?
- Yeah.
178
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,024
I don't know when
I have been so excited.
179
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,961
It's so romantic.
Everybody's crying.
180
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:18,964
- That's what it's all about.
- Yeah.
181
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:22,033
You look so handsome.
182
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:25,504
Oh, I am just gonna
dance with you all day.
183
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:26,938
- Yeah?
184
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,608
Somebody's been popping
the champagne already?
185
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,143
- No!
No, it's just--
186
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,278
come on!
187
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,981
It's a wedding.
Get into it.
188
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:39,184
You know, the romance,
the love that's all around us.
189
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,787
Can't you suck it up
for one day?
190
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:47,092
- I'm into it.
I'm sucking.
191
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,694
- You're dancing
with me today, jerkwad.
192
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:54,933
- You haven't called me that
since our wedding.
193
00:08:58,237 --> 00:08:59,871
- Amy, where's your mom?
194
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,106
- Oh, she's running around
195
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:02,874
like a headless chicken
making sure...
196
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,309
All the relatives
197
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,044
are comfortable
and are seated properly.
198
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,248
Oh, dear, tiny aunt Florence.
199
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,850
Can you see from there?
200
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:14,886
Would you like a cushion
or a phone book?
201
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:20,191
Hi, mom!
202
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:23,261
- Hello.
203
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,796
- I'm sorry, mother.
204
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,965
You know I was
just fooling around.
205
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:30,569
- Oh, I know, honey.
That never bothers me.
206
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,638
And you're so good at it.
207
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:39,010
And you look
so beautiful today, and--
208
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,847
- What?
What?
209
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:45,016
- I'm sorry.
210
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,352
I guess I pictured
my little girl's wedding
211
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:50,855
a certain way.
212
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,724
I used to worry
about telling you
213
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,659
what to expect--
214
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:58,697
you know,
on your wedding night?
215
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:04,636
But you and Robert
have already--
216
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,638
- mother, please!
217
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,006
- I'm sorry.
218
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,674
You're right, sweetie.
219
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,810
I know it's a different world.
220
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,312
All fun all the time.
221
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,953
But look at you.
222
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,256
You're like an angel
dropped from heaven,
223
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:29,260
and you've always been that
for me and your father.
224
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:33,131
- Thanks, mom.
225
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,833
- I'd better go.
226
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:38,870
That phone book for
aunt Florence is a good idea.
227
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,740
Oh, my, we're supposed
to get started in five minutes,
228
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,842
and I haven't seen
reverend Stevens yet.
229
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:44,843
Peter?
230
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:48,013
- Yes, mama?
231
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,115
- Honey, you picked up
reverend Stevens this morning,
232
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,349
didn't you?
233
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,418
- Why, yes, of course,
I did, mama.
234
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:57,322
I have no idea where that rascal
could've gotten to,
235
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,757
but I'm on it.
236
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:10,001
- Did Peter come in here?
237
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,404
- Yeah, he's in there.
238
00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:16,975
- Peter?
239
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:19,811
Come on, Peter,
I know you're in there.
240
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,714
- I'm very busy.
241
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,149
- What's going on?
242
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,017
- He was supposed
to pick up the reverend guy,
243
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,852
and nobody can find him.
244
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,821
- Peter, come out there
right now!
245
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,290
- Let's go!
- I can see you!
246
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,330
- What did you do to him?
247
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,865
- Ah, reverend Stevens.
248
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,300
- Somebody was supposed
to pick me up.
249
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,702
I had to hitchhike.
250
00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:48,907
Let's get this over with.
251
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:56,381
- Well, gee,
who did I pick up, then?
252
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,989
- Peter?
Are you in there, Peter?
253
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,992
- Yes, mama, I am.
Come on in.
254
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,194
- Oh, hello.
255
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,495
Peter, we found
reverend Stevens.
256
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:11,496
You can stop looking.
257
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:14,199
- Oh, thank goodness.
258
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,067
- Everything all right
in here?
259
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,836
- Yes, everything's fine, mama.
260
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,871
Everything's great.
261
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,107
Hey, I think
it's wedding time,
262
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,141
isn't it?
263
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:26,444
Places, everyone.
264
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,013
Oh, good luck out there.
265
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,860
- Good morning.
266
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,862
Good morning.
267
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:22,233
- We are gathered here today
in the sight of god
268
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:25,236
to join together in marriage
269
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:28,006
Robert Charles barone
270
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,342
and Amy Louise macdougall.
271
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,812
If there is anyone here
who knows any reason
272
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:38,116
why these two people should not
be joined in holy matrimony,
273
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,952
let them speak now
or forever hold their peace.
274
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,260
We will begin this morning--
275
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,428
- excuse me.
276
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,267
I need to say something.
277
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,211
- Pardon me?
What was that?
278
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:11,182
- I'm sorry, but I feel the need
to say something.
279
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,218
- Ma!
280
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:25,930
- Did you bring your gun?
281
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:35,373
What do you do now?
282
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:39,544
- I don't know.
This never happened before.
283
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:44,148
Well, I guess, speak now.
284
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,252
- Well, I wanted to speak
to Robbie before the ceremony,
285
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:48,586
but he didn't
give me a chance
286
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,256
when we were
in the bathroom together.
287
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,960
- Did she do this to you?
288
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:58,529
- Honey, this is
only the beginning.
289
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,569
- I'm just so worried
290
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,038
that Robbie might
only be getting married today
291
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,339
because of me.
292
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:12,176
- Ma, what are you
talking about?
293
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,379
- I may have pressured you
into getting married
294
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,281
and you weren't ready yet.
295
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,550
And I need to do
what's best for my son, don't I?
296
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:22,453
- Could it not be today?
297
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,229
- I'm sorry.
298
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,631
You know I never
like to interfere.
299
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:39,337
But I pushed you
because I was so worried
300
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,606
that you'd wind up with nobody,
301
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:44,575
and even though
this is wonderful and--
302
00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:49,981
and I'm thrilled
to be here
303
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,549
and I love Amy--
304
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,951
hi, Amy--
305
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,490
but it all
happened so fast,
306
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:03,194
I'm not sure how Amy's family
feels about you.
307
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,363
- Ma, this is none
of your business.
308
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,564
- How could you say that?
309
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,466
Of course it's my business.
310
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:12,236
You're my son.
You're my business.
311
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:15,974
- Do you realize
that you have ruined
312
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:19,677
every single event
I've ever had in my life?
313
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,245
- What are you getting
so upset about?
314
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,081
We're just talking.
315
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,522
- The elementary school play?
316
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:35,126
You tried to put
different pants on me.
317
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,028
- You got yours dirty.
318
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,130
Any mother
would've done the same.
319
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:43,568
- Not while I was onstage!
320
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,736
Huh?
321
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:47,672
You don't see
a pattern here?
322
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:53,211
- A pattern of love.
323
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,779
I mean, for years,
I kept thinking,
324
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,415
if only I had spoken up
at your first wedding
325
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,217
to that terrible dancer.
326
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,519
And as I recall--
327
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,459
as I recall,
328
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,528
you were fine
with me interfering
329
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:14,132
when you needed someone to throw
that hussy out of the house.
330
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,234
Not that that would
ever happen here, dear.
331
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:24,075
All I'm saying is,
332
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:27,078
I love you,
and I love Amy,
333
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,746
and I just want to make sure
334
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:32,583
that you're marrying today
for love and only for love,
335
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:36,120
because that's the only way
a marriage can stay together.
336
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,388
Isn't that right, frank?
337
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,757
- I don't know
who you are, lady.
338
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:56,808
- Robbie, I said
what I had to say,
339
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,643
and it came from love.
340
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,378
Now you do what you want.
341
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:04,615
This is your life.
342
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,084
I feel better now.
343
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,486
Go ahead, reverend.
344
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,704
- Okay, we're back.
345
00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:32,877
- All right!
346
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:36,581
And now, here they are,
ladies and gentlemen,
347
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,749
for the first time anywhere,
348
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:41,285
Robert and Amy barone!
349
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,629
All right, and now,
ladies and gentlemen,
350
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,632
the buffet is open.
351
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,273
- Hi!
352
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:05,810
- Hi!
- Hi.
353
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,379
- So...
354
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,715
Feel different?
355
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:13,618
- Yeah.
356
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,453
- Life is good.
357
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:26,831
- Yes.
358
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,599
You're married.
359
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,568
You two looked beautiful
up there,
360
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:34,772
and...You've got
your health.
361
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,942
- Oh, hello!
362
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:41,379
Oh, I thought
the ceremony was beautiful.
363
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,647
Didn't you, Robbie?
364
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,516
- I'll never forget it.
365
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,585
- I am so happy.
366
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,853
And you know what?
367
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,755
I'm actually starving.
368
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:54,192
I forgot to eat today,
what with all I had to do.
369
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,527
I'll catch up
with you later.
370
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:01,699
- Hey, can I have
a beer?
371
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,867
- Sure.
372
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,468
That's $3, sir.
373
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,874
- Jeezaloo!
374
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,810
Hey, look.
Tell you what.
375
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,278
I think I left
my wallet at home
376
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,781
when I changed
into the monkey suit.
377
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,649
Could you
let one slide?
378
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,251
- I'm sorry, sir.
I'm not allowed.
379
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,787
- Aw, come on.
Come on.
380
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,789
Listen, pal, I don't care
what the rules are
381
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:28,326
at this stinking
hump of a wedding.
382
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:31,262
I am the father
of the gigantic groom...
383
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,565
And I want beer now.
384
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,902
Beer now, beer now!
385
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,304
- Here.
386
00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:41,772
Please, let me.
387
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,975
- Uh, that's okay.
388
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:46,510
- No, frank, please.
It's my pleasure.
389
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:50,248
- Well, uh,
thanks there, Hank.
390
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,682
- Sure.
391
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:53,818
You know, I'm sorry
that our two families
392
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:59,323
seem to have gotten off on such
a wrong...What's the word?
393
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:02,426
Foot.
394
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:05,563
I mean, I like to think
that I'm a nice fella,
395
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:09,333
and I was always taught
to find the good in people,
396
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:11,636
and I would like to
in you, frank.
397
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:16,374
- Well, I think you are
a nice fella, Hank.
398
00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,909
But I got to tell you,
399
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,645
you're not gonna find
much good in people
400
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,280
when they drive
all the way to Pennsylvania
401
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:23,481
for a big, long wedding
402
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,949
and you screw them
on the booze.
403
00:21:32,524 --> 00:21:34,325
- Well.
404
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,660
- "Well"?
405
00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:36,727
That's all you got?
406
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:37,928
"Well"?
407
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:39,430
- Yes, because "well"
408
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,499
is what one says
when one is shocked
409
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,900
but not
particularly surprised
410
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,036
by someone's
boorish behavior.
411
00:21:45,038 --> 00:21:46,637
Well.
412
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,074
That is so fricking sad.
413
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:55,413
- Oh, yes, frank,
that's sad?
414
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:58,015
Well, I want
my money back.
415
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:00,318
Now who's sad?
416
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,686
Oh, Mr. bartender,
417
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:03,487
don't give this man
any alcohol.
418
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,089
He seems to have had
more than enough
419
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:06,590
over the course
of his life.
420
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:07,792
- I'm a veteran!
421
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,794
- A veteran
of the bad manners army.
422
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:10,828
- Take a hike, boy scout!
423
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:11,862
- I'll take a hike when...
424
00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:13,731
- Hey, hey, hey,
hold it!
425
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,334
Back it up, calm it down,
426
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:22,073
and take a look at all
the people at the wedding.
427
00:22:22,075 --> 00:22:24,375
- This phony holy man
and his liquor gouging
428
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,844
have ruined
an otherwise happy occasion.
429
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:29,613
So long, cheapskate.
430
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:36,087
- He gets emotional
at weddings.
431
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:40,725
- Marie, I need
to say something.
432
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:44,362
- I know.
Can you believe this food?
433
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:45,930
- Marie, we're leaving.
Drop the meat.
434
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:49,367
- What?
We can't leave.
435
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,102
I'm the mother
of the groom.
436
00:22:51,104 --> 00:22:52,770
No matter how horrible
the food is,
437
00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:54,772
I have to stay.
438
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:56,507
- Hello.
439
00:22:56,509 --> 00:23:00,444
- Oh, pat,
what a wonderful spread.
440
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:02,146
- Thank you, Marie,
441
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:04,682
but perhaps
frank is right.
442
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,917
Perhaps you should go.
443
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:08,786
- What?
444
00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:11,455
- You know, this wedding,
whether we like it or not,
445
00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:13,691
was for Amy and Robert,
446
00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:15,092
and you shouldn't have
intruded
447
00:23:15,094 --> 00:23:18,129
on their moment of happiness
in the chapel.
448
00:23:18,131 --> 00:23:20,431
- I was doing it for them.
449
00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:25,636
- Oh, Marie, I think maybe
you were doing it for you,
450
00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:27,104
and you were
so busy thinking
451
00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:29,073
about what you needed
to express,
452
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,941
you weren't thinking
about anyone else,
453
00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:33,477
including your son.
454
00:23:33,479 --> 00:23:36,714
I think that's called
narcissism.
455
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:46,757
- All right.
456
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,459
All right,
that's enough.
457
00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:51,429
Can I speak to you in private,
please, Mrs. macdougall?
458
00:23:56,134 --> 00:23:59,069
Nobody's ever
said that to her before.
459
00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:08,112
You're cool.
460
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:12,850
- Thank you, ray,
but I don't feel cool.
461
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:14,685
I feel like
I just contributed
462
00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:16,587
to the whole tone
of the wedding,
463
00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:19,523
which is bad.
464
00:24:19,525 --> 00:24:20,925
It's ruined,
465
00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:22,626
and that's the last thing
I wanted to do
466
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:25,563
for my daughter
and her new husband.
467
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,068
- Why do I talk to people?
468
00:24:32,904 --> 00:24:34,705
Listen--
- okay, everybody.
469
00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:36,974
It's time for the toast
from the best man.
470
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,944
Let's give a big
barone-macdougall welcome
471
00:24:39,946 --> 00:24:41,645
to little brother Raymond.
472
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,814
Come on, everybody,
bring him up here!
473
00:24:51,756 --> 00:24:53,991
- Hey.
474
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,059
Uh...
475
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,496
Well, I got to be honest.
476
00:24:58,498 --> 00:25:01,999
I didn't know
what I was gonna say today.
477
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:04,535
Uh...
478
00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:05,936
I wanted to do
a nice toast,
479
00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:07,872
but everybody
does a nice toast.
480
00:25:07,874 --> 00:25:10,741
But I wanted it
to be special,
481
00:25:10,743 --> 00:25:12,977
'cause it's a special day
for my brother, Robert,
482
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:15,913
and his new wife, Amy.
483
00:25:15,915 --> 00:25:18,082
So, uh...
484
00:25:18,084 --> 00:25:20,284
I didn't know
what I was gonna say.
485
00:25:24,155 --> 00:25:29,226
But then sometimes material
486
00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:31,295
presents itself.
487
00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:38,936
Like today, for example--
488
00:25:38,938 --> 00:25:41,305
a lot to talk about.
489
00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:43,307
But I think I can
put a good spin on it.
490
00:25:43,309 --> 00:25:45,142
I think, uh...
491
00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:48,979
I think there's one thing
that can make it all better:
492
00:25:48,981 --> 00:25:51,148
Editing.
493
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:56,153
Yes, I think there's a portion
of today's ceremony
494
00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:59,557
that we won't need to save
on the videotape.
495
00:26:01,092 --> 00:26:02,993
Editing.
496
00:26:02,995 --> 00:26:05,229
You know, Robert and I,
497
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:06,964
when we remember
our childhood,
498
00:26:06,966 --> 00:26:09,199
we kind of use
that technology
499
00:26:09,201 --> 00:26:12,102
in our heads.
500
00:26:12,104 --> 00:26:14,772
You know, we only remember
the good stuff,
501
00:26:14,774 --> 00:26:16,607
like the food.
502
00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:18,709
Yeah, we don't remember
when mom would yell at dad
503
00:26:18,711 --> 00:26:21,612
not to scratch his rear end
with a spatula...
504
00:26:24,850 --> 00:26:28,018
In the bakery.
505
00:26:30,188 --> 00:26:32,923
Editing.
506
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,058
Yeah, you know,
507
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:35,759
anybody who knows
our family
508
00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:38,362
probably wasn't surprised
by what happened today.
509
00:26:38,364 --> 00:26:40,364
I mean, Amy knew
what she was getting into
510
00:26:40,366 --> 00:26:42,600
when she married
into this family,
511
00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:44,134
and that's why I got her
a wedding gift
512
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:45,836
I know she can use:
513
00:26:45,838 --> 00:26:47,905
Cyanide.
514
00:26:53,144 --> 00:26:54,378
Yeah.
515
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:55,813
And by the way,
Robert,
516
00:26:55,815 --> 00:26:57,081
if you think
it was annoying today
517
00:26:57,083 --> 00:26:59,149
when mom interrupted
the ceremony,
518
00:26:59,151 --> 00:27:02,987
wait till she interrupts
tonight, yeah.
519
00:27:04,322 --> 00:27:06,056
Yeah, "I got to say, Robert,
520
00:27:06,058 --> 00:27:07,992
I don't think
you're doing that correctly."
521
00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:12,763
She's involved, our mom.
522
00:27:12,765 --> 00:27:16,166
I liked it today
when my mom said,
523
00:27:16,168 --> 00:27:17,301
"I'm a mother.
524
00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:18,769
You are my business."
525
00:27:18,771 --> 00:27:20,137
You know
what we're waiting for, ma?
526
00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:22,272
Your "going out
of business" sale.
527
00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:28,846
But I think Amy understands
528
00:27:28,848 --> 00:27:30,247
that that's
what marriage is about.
529
00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:32,082
I mean, she's not only
getting a husband;
530
00:27:32,084 --> 00:27:35,119
she's getting
an entire mental hospital.
531
00:27:38,289 --> 00:27:39,757
My wife, Deb,
likes that, right?
532
00:27:39,759 --> 00:27:40,824
That's my wife over there,
533
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,092
the drunk one.
534
00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:43,160
Yeah.
535
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:44,962
I'm just playing.
536
00:27:44,964 --> 00:27:46,397
She couldn't be drunk here
537
00:27:46,399 --> 00:27:48,432
unless she took out a loan
for a whiskey sour.
538
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:56,073
I want to thank Amy's family--
Hank and pat--
539
00:27:56,075 --> 00:27:57,808
for throwing
a wonderful party.
540
00:27:57,810 --> 00:27:59,443
They really know
how to throw one, yeah.
541
00:27:59,445 --> 00:28:00,978
Yeah, you know--
542
00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:02,980
you know, if you wanted
my mom to be speechless,
543
00:28:02,982 --> 00:28:06,350
you should've shown her
the buffet before the ceremony.
544
00:28:08,386 --> 00:28:10,154
But I kid.
545
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:14,391
I kid the macdougalls.
546
00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:16,060
We get along great with them,
547
00:28:16,062 --> 00:28:17,394
especially with Peter,
548
00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:21,899
who, by the way, ladies,
is still single.
549
00:28:21,901 --> 00:28:22,900
Yeah.
550
00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:25,035
Still single.
551
00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:28,105
But, you know, I'm sure there's
somebody for him out there,
552
00:28:28,107 --> 00:28:31,909
and she'd better be
really out there.
553
00:28:37,882 --> 00:28:41,318
Yeah. Yeah.
554
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,287
And, you know,
one more thing
555
00:28:43,289 --> 00:28:44,988
about the editing.
556
00:28:44,990 --> 00:28:46,990
I, uh...
557
00:28:46,992 --> 00:28:49,393
I think you're gonna remember
about today
558
00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:51,829
what you want to remember.
559
00:28:51,831 --> 00:28:55,299
You know, I guess our brains
are good like that.
560
00:28:55,301 --> 00:28:57,067
Like, I remember my wedding day
561
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,969
as the day
that I got to kiss
562
00:28:58,971 --> 00:29:01,138
the most beautiful girl
in the world.
563
00:29:01,140 --> 00:29:03,741
Yeah.
564
00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:04,908
And I think she remembers it.
565
00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:06,477
At least, I hope she does.
566
00:29:06,479 --> 00:29:08,112
It was a good day,
567
00:29:08,114 --> 00:29:10,848
the start of a lot
of good memories.
568
00:29:10,850 --> 00:29:12,916
We completely blotted out
the part
569
00:29:12,918 --> 00:29:14,418
where mom was hanging on
to my pants leg,
570
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:15,853
yelling, "don't go!
571
00:29:15,855 --> 00:29:17,788
don't go!"
572
00:29:19,057 --> 00:29:23,327
Yeah, we didn't save
those pictures,
573
00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:26,530
just the good ones,
574
00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:28,332
just the good ones.
575
00:29:30,535 --> 00:29:33,203
So here's
to my brother, Robert,
576
00:29:33,205 --> 00:29:35,806
and the best thing
that ever happened to him--
577
00:29:35,808 --> 00:29:38,375
my new sister, Amy.
578
00:29:38,377 --> 00:29:40,778
You'll keep the good ones.
579
00:30:02,233 --> 00:30:04,067
- Oh!
580
00:30:06,037 --> 00:30:07,905
- Ladies and gentlemen,
it is now time
581
00:30:07,907 --> 00:30:11,341
for Robert and Amy's first dance
as husband and wife
582
00:30:11,343 --> 00:30:12,843
to a song they chose
583
00:30:12,845 --> 00:30:14,478
especially
for the occasion.
584
00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:45,209
A little less conversation
585
00:30:45,211 --> 00:30:47,911
a little more action, please
586
00:30:47,913 --> 00:30:51,949
all this aggravation
ain't satisfactioning me
587
00:30:51,951 --> 00:30:54,084
a little more bite,
a little less bark
588
00:30:54,086 --> 00:30:56,019
a little less fight
and a little more spark
589
00:30:56,021 --> 00:30:57,454
close your mouth
and open up your heart
590
00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:59,890
and, baby, satisfy me
591
00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:02,292
satisfy me, baby
592
00:31:19,177 --> 00:31:21,278
baby, close your eyes
and listen to the music
593
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,213
drifting through
the summer breeze
594
00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:25,382
it's a groovy night,
and I can show you how to use it
595
00:31:25,384 --> 00:31:27,451
come along with me
and put your mind at ease
596
00:31:27,453 --> 00:31:29,019
a little less conversation
597
00:31:29,021 --> 00:31:31,521
a little more action, please
598
00:31:31,523 --> 00:31:35,626
all this aggravation
ain't satisfactioning me
599
00:31:35,628 --> 00:31:37,895
a little more bite,
a little less bark
600
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:39,663
a little less fight
and a little more spark
601
00:31:39,665 --> 00:31:41,398
close your mouth
and open up your heart
602
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,567
and, baby, satisfy me
- satisfy me
603
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,270
- satisfy me, baby
- satisfy me
604
00:31:46,272 --> 00:31:50,340
- come on, baby,
I'm tired of talkin'
605
00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:54,478
grab your coat
and let's start walkin'
606
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,613
come on, come on
- come on, come on
41592
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