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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,916 Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,440 There are Grey-human hybrids all over the Earth. 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,399 That's the man who shot Peter Bach and my guards. 4 00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:10,445 We need to find out what the Greys are up to. 5 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,186 The Greys' cavern is here. 6 00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,753 If they've connected it to the magma chamber, 7 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,929 the pressure would turn Yellowstone National Park 8 00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:19,541 into the most destructive natural bomb 9 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,543 in the history of the world. 10 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,980 - So how long till it blows up? - Maybe a year. 11 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,677 You broke galactic law. 12 00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:28,071 You are hereby ordered to leave Earth immediately. 13 00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,855 Son of a bitch. 14 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:32,380 That right there is a fingerprint. 15 00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:34,947 "Dr. Wendy Beasley, retired military chemist." 16 00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:37,167 We did it! We got a match! 17 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:40,475 No, I chose last time. 18 00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:41,780 I want to go where you want to go. 19 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,391 - Uh-huh. - Really. 20 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,436 Okay. Well, how about Antonio's? 21 00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:47,047 You think? The pasta? 22 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,528 Okay, well, if you were me, what would you want to eat? 23 00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:53,575 Well, you always like Mexican. 24 00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:54,967 I do, don't I? 25 00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,231 Mm-hmm. Mount Taco it is. 26 00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:58,580 Mount Taco. 27 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,974 - Have fun in the lab. - Okay. 28 00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:12,115 Dr. Wendy Beasley, please come to Lab 209. 29 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,464 Dr. Wendy Beasley, please come-- 30 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,771 - Aah! 31 00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,428 Gary? 32 00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,085 Open the door! 33 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,088 Somebody open the door! Please. 34 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,699 - Help! - Gary. 35 00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,005 Gary. Gary. 36 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,833 Oh, my God. 37 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,923 Oh, my God. 38 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,012 Oh, my God, Gary! 39 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,058 No, no, no! 40 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,104 Gary! 41 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,421 They can't just make you leave Earth. 42 00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,206 We will fight this summons. 43 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:01,208 You do not understand. 44 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,123 The Galactic Federation has referred this 45 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,256 to the Housing Council. 46 00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:08,084 I-it is over. 47 00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:10,130 Harry, you can't just give up. 48 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,522 We need you here, okay? 49 00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:13,350 I don't give a shit about this Housing Council. 50 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,786 - No. - Mm! 51 00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:17,833 You cannot talk that way about Housing Council. 52 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,400 It is very dangerous. 53 00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,665 - Sorry, I didn't catch that. - I can translate. 54 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,449 It's mostly about losing a hand. 55 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,625 - Oh. - Good choice. 56 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,758 What are you doing with those? 57 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:33,762 Putting them where all eviction notices go--the fire. 58 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:36,982 Oh, those-- those will not burn. 59 00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,463 They're not paper. 60 00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,509 What is it? - Moldar skin. 61 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,771 Gross. 62 00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,773 I'm vegan now. - Moldar skin is not gross. 63 00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,558 Moldar-skin hats are the best hats. 64 00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:50,213 Moldar skin-- try and rip it. 65 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,389 You cannot. 66 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,393 The processor is coming. 67 00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,700 Try not to be distracted by her pretty face. 68 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:03,661 Pubescent aliens hang holograms of Blue Avians above their bed. 69 00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,185 I did. 70 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,711 Oh. 71 00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:14,150 You are a bird. 72 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:17,022 No, no! Damn it! 73 00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:19,503 Stupid portal. 74 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,331 Sucks--I-I'm supposed to appear 75 00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,377 as the life forms of my destination. 76 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:25,814 Now I'm breaking galactic law. Great. 77 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:28,251 You do not need to appear as a human. 78 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,514 You are perfect the way you are. 79 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,690 Thanks, but this thing has been touchy 80 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:35,127 ever since some idiot from probate tried 81 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,477 to sneak fruit through it. 82 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:37,869 Why can't you take fruit? 83 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,394 That's the question you're asking right now? 84 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:43,310 Look, just give me the signed papers, okay? 85 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,050 And then the Housing Council is going to come, 86 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,357 and they're going to collect you for eviction. 87 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,533 You smell woodsy. I will sign them. 88 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,622 - Please, Mrs. Bird-- - Oh, no. 89 00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:53,058 Don't come at me with "Mrs. Bird." 90 00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:56,236 My Earth name is Heather. - Oh, rhymes with feather. 91 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,760 Yeah. It does. 92 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,023 Wish someone had told me that when I picked it. 93 00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:04,896 Heather, Harry is here to save our planet. 94 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:08,465 So, if you could just look the other way on this one... 95 00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:11,251 You know I get paid by the job, right? 96 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,991 And how would I know that? 97 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:15,516 Well, look, if you want the papers, 98 00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,387 they're over there on the floor. 99 00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,171 - Okay. 100 00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,869 Don't worry, I'll grab them. 101 00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:22,523 I'll just go get them off the floor 102 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:23,872 like a friggin' pigeon. 103 00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,920 - Oh, no, no, no! 104 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,096 Oh, no! both: Oh. 105 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,968 Terrible news. 106 00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:35,971 Yeah, I can tell you two are really, really upset about it, 107 00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:38,452 but this sucks for me, okay? 108 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,715 Because now I have to call the repair guy, 109 00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:42,412 and he's going to take forever. 110 00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,067 And then he's going to have to order parts, 111 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,547 which will take forever. 112 00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:50,115 And so, basically, I'm stuck on the shittiest planet 113 00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:51,508 in the galaxy. 114 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,641 No offense-- I see your mouths are agape 115 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,686 at me saying "shittiest planet." 116 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:56,600 Sorry. 117 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,820 I need to use the bathroom. 118 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:01,083 Uh, do we put down a newspaper or something? 119 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,606 It's to change, you dick. 120 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,740 It is down the hall on your right. 121 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,960 I hope I put the seat down. 122 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,180 I just saved the world with a banana. 123 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,616 How was your day? - Yeah, you did. 124 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:15,445 It was the best one. 125 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,404 It was the perfect amount of ripe. 126 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,970 So, question-- 127 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:22,974 um, can any of you recommend a hotel around here? 128 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:26,630 Something mid-range, preferably where you can earn miles? 129 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:29,503 Huh. I see Heather now. 130 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,468 Hey. 131 00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,862 You're up early. - Yeah. 132 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,472 Still can't sleep. 133 00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,387 Up half the night feeling terrified, 134 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,867 and I don't know why. - Oh. 135 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:49,914 But I was thinking, sometimes you're stressed. 136 00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,002 All the time. 137 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,526 - A lot of the time. - Every day. 138 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,397 But not when you're making candles-- 139 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,312 because you have a creative outlet. 140 00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:59,271 And I haven't picked up my sketchbook in a while, I know, 141 00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:02,492 but I think I'm going to do a children's book. 142 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,059 Oh, that's a great idea. 143 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:05,669 You know, when I was a kid, 144 00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:09,325 I always wanted a book with a baby elephant and a monkey. 145 00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,196 - Oh, that's sweet. - Yeah. 146 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,677 - This isn't that. - Got it. 147 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,897 Well, can I see? - Eh... 148 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:19,204 I-I think I'd rather just wait till it's finished. 149 00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,859 Okay. Say no more. 150 00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,426 Mm-hmm. 151 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:26,168 But if there is a baby elephant-- 152 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:30,477 - There's not. - Two words--sailor's cap. 153 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,217 Think about it. 154 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:35,786 Now, why would a well-respected military chemist 155 00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,135 end up living way out here 156 00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:39,442 like some kind of creepy-ass fairy-tale witch? 157 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,445 They say she kind of lost it after she saw her husband die 158 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,752 in a lab accident. - A lab accident? 159 00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:46,667 You saying we could be facing a super villain? 160 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,756 Um, no, I was not. 161 00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:51,411 Okay, 'cause I can't be facing a super villain, 162 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,890 not while I'm trying to figure out 163 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,631 what happened to my best deputy. 164 00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:55,937 Now, tell me again what you saw 165 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,418 when you went by Joseph's house, exactly. 166 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,854 Okay, we're definitely going to get 167 00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:02,204 back to the best-deputy part. 168 00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:04,336 I told you, it was empty. 169 00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,034 He's gone. 170 00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,427 Isn't that suspicious? 171 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,733 He's army recon. He wouldn't just quit. 172 00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,605 What's even more suspicious is, 173 00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,476 right when we're looking for another deputy, 174 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,478 the perfect candidate just shows up. 175 00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,827 That's how it works for handsome people. 176 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,438 Happens to me all the time. 177 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,397 Every job I ever got didn't even exist until I wanted it. 178 00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:24,226 The job of sheriff existed before you had it, sir. 179 00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,750 Yeah, but it was the day I said to myself, 180 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,143 it'd be nice to be sheriff, 181 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,450 that old Sheriff Hawthorne up and died. 182 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,190 Now, did I kill him? Maybe. 183 00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,758 Luckily, you can't be arrested for your thoughts... 184 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,107 yet. 185 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,892 But I'm working on it. 186 00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:41,461 What if we fake Harry's death? 187 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,637 Can't get evicted if you're dead. 188 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,509 I have no choice but to leave Earth. 189 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,729 We have been brainstorming all morning. 190 00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:52,950 The storm has stopped, and now there is just mud. 191 00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,386 Hey, guys. 192 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,953 Asta, I'm going to see you at Drew's party tomorrow? 193 00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,912 Yes. Of course I'll be there. 194 00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:01,872 Is that a pie? I need it for my trip. 195 00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:03,918 It is a pie, but it's not for you. 196 00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,050 It's for my paralegal. - Oh. 197 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:09,053 Hey, hypothetically, say your friend was getting evicted-- 198 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,447 Is this the same friend as last time? 199 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,144 By the way, you still owe me $200. 200 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,233 Uh, without names, 201 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:18,889 say you wanted to stop the hypothetical eviction. 202 00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:21,370 My first piece of legal advice would be not to co-sign 203 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,632 a lease with this one. - Okay. 204 00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,286 I just--Can we-- - Noted. 205 00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:25,896 But for your other friend, 206 00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:29,683 I would say maybe just wait it out or possibly countersue. 207 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,119 What are you doing? 208 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,644 It was like that. 209 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,908 You're countersuing? 210 00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:40,911 Do you even realize how much paperwork that is? 211 00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:44,698 Guess I can say goodbye to my timeshare on Lesser Antares. 212 00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,830 Oh, I am sorry. 213 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,833 Lesser Antares is very pretty. - Yeah. 214 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:52,053 I have Moldar-skin pants from there. 215 00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,228 Me too. 216 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:55,796 They're so durable. 217 00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,580 You ever try ripping them in half? 218 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,190 both: ♪ You cannot 219 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,545 Hey, no one's ever taken on the Housing Council before. 220 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,850 What's going on with you? 221 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,549 You some kind of bad boy or something? 222 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,594 Yep, I'm a bad boy. 223 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,207 Oh. 224 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,861 I don't care about it. 225 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:20,298 I'm not even a real doctor. 226 00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:22,213 Ooh, that is bad. 227 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:23,606 I killed a man. 228 00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,174 You what? 229 00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:28,045 He was evil. 230 00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:31,222 I saw him kick a seagull. 231 00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,616 - Oh. - And stole its French fry. 232 00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:36,097 - Uh-uh. - So I killed him. 233 00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,754 It's nice to talk to a-another alien. 234 00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:44,235 If you are going to be 235 00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,889 in Patience for a while, 236 00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,413 maybe I could show you around town. 237 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:51,025 We have a pizza place! - I don't like pizza. 238 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,941 Oh, I hate pizza. We are the same. 239 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,682 Thanks, but I think I'm just going to head 240 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,944 back to the hotel. 241 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:59,599 My back has been killing me for some reason. 242 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,166 It is the human bed-- 243 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,428 so primitive. 244 00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,343 I miss my Trixian saliva bed. 245 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,910 Wait, you're kidding me? 246 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,825 I didn't know you could still get those. 247 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,827 Bad boys can. 248 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,658 I could look at you in the exam room, help your back. 249 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,834 We could talk about spit blankets. 250 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,097 Okay. 251 00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:27,931 Nurse, uh, make Heather more comfortable. 252 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,847 Get--get--get a blanket and spit on it. 253 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:33,676 I will get her a blanket, but I am not doing that. 254 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:42,772 I am sorry for the primitive nature of Earth medicine. 255 00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:45,557 This is how they listen to your heart. 256 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:49,866 Why not get two soup cans and connect them with string? 257 00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,781 Oh. 258 00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:55,393 Oh, uh... I can hear that you are dying. 259 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,713 Uh, please remove your jacket. 260 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:22,812 Everything okay back there? 261 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,988 Is she electric? 262 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,469 I am buzzing, and my knees are melting. 263 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:30,820 I fell. 264 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,996 I was-- Something bit me. 265 00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,607 Oh. Sorry. It's probably a mite. 266 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:38,132 Or as you might say it... 267 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:41,831 . 268 00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,707 You speak... 269 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,622 Yeah, of course I do. 270 00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:54,017 It's one of the most beautiful languages in the universe. 271 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,150 She is perfect in every way. 272 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,543 I have a strange desire to smell her. 273 00:11:58,543 --> 00:11:59,806 That would be weird. 274 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,851 I bet she smells like a feather pillow 275 00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,331 locked in a hot car. 276 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,771 Can I talk to you for a minute? 277 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,775 Me? 278 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,559 All right. 279 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,258 This--this is for you. 280 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,263 Thank you. 281 00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:23,481 Oh. 282 00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:28,269 - What the hell were you doing? - I don't know. 283 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:32,360 My knees are weak, and my palms are sweating. 284 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,754 I know what this is. 285 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,365 I have seen this in human movies. 286 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,628 I am in love. 287 00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,673 What? No, you just met her. 288 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:44,024 I love--I love her. 289 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,852 - Shh. - I cannot help it. 290 00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:48,550 I feel l-love for her. 291 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,031 It's--it's like how I feel love for you, Asta, 292 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,249 but it is different. 293 00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:55,035 It is not just in my head or in my heart, 294 00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,688 but it is in my pants. 295 00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,081 Oh. 296 00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,083 Is that why they call it "in love" 297 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,129 because it is in your pants? 298 00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:04,827 Harry? You coming back? 299 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,568 My legs. 300 00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,178 Okay. 301 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,981 - Dr. Beasley? - Who are you? 302 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:31,506 We want to talk to you about the alien tracker, Peter Bach. 303 00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,421 Peter Bach is dead. 304 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:37,251 We know that. 305 00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:39,340 We believe he was murdered. 306 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,563 I miss her. 307 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,957 Do--do you think she misses me? 308 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:51,091 I-I-I realize that your first crush is... 309 00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,875 - Uh, everything. 310 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,530 But--but we are trying to save the world, 311 00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,227 you and me, you know? 312 00:13:57,227 --> 00:14:00,448 A-and you can't be distracted by a relationship right now. 313 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:02,624 My heart... 314 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,670 It sweats. 315 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,324 Huh? 316 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:10,806 What heat remains in my chest. 317 00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,460 And poetry. 318 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:16,116 You are a light in the blackout. 319 00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,552 Oh, boy. 320 00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:20,250 I'd like to touch you where the eggs pop out. 321 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,035 Yeah. 322 00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:25,821 It's titled "Bird Boner." 323 00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:31,827 Why don't you take a seat? 324 00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:33,873 Standing there, it's making me uncomfortable. 325 00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:42,229 We're here because we found your fingerprints 326 00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,491 in Peter's van. 327 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,667 You have the van? Where is it? 328 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,538 Why is the van important? 329 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,932 It--it doesn't matter. You won't believe me. 330 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,629 And if you do, they'll get to you, 331 00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,196 and they will tell you that I'm crazy. 332 00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:54,763 But I know what I saw, 333 00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:55,938 and I know what happened to my husband, 334 00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:57,809 and it wasn't a goddamn gas leak, 335 00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,899 and it wasn't made by humans. 336 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,512 I see you. 337 00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:07,036 You think that I don't know that look? 338 00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:10,126 You need to leave. 339 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:13,913 Um, I saw a UFO... 340 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,958 when I was a kid. 341 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,526 Everyone said I made it up for attention. 342 00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:22,660 And Peter was the only one who has ever believed me. 343 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:26,490 I need to find out what happened, please. 344 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:29,145 Peter trusted me. So can you. 345 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,629 - Do you have the key? - The van key? 346 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:35,978 I got it right here. 347 00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:41,418 If Peter trusted you, he would have given you the key. 348 00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,335 Get out. 349 00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:05,399 Let me guess--still filling out your college application? 350 00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:08,271 - These essays are stupid. 351 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,012 Look, I don't even want to go, 352 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,101 but my mom thinks college will give me options, so... 353 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,016 Ah, options are good. I didn't have many. 354 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,410 I ended up living with my dad till my 30s. 355 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:19,195 Yeah. And that's why I'm still single. 356 00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:24,548 "How has your family history shaped your life?" 357 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,333 That's fun. 358 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,204 I'm adopted. 359 00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,902 Hmm. Right. 360 00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,035 Yeah. And so are you. 361 00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,428 So I don't know my family 362 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,212 because you don't know your family. 363 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,475 So, apparently, only people with enormous family trees 364 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:39,563 get to go to college. 365 00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,044 The system is corrupt. 366 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,437 I can't be a part of it. 367 00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:45,917 You're a part of our family. 368 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:48,572 Yeah, but I'm not, like, a blood relative. 369 00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:52,098 So it's--it's not really the same thing. 370 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,232 Have you taken her to the rez yet? 371 00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,973 Not yet. 372 00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,409 It's settled. 373 00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:01,542 You're coming to Drew's party. 374 00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,587 Time to meet your whole family. 375 00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:04,936 You wanted a family tree, 376 00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:07,765 you got yourself a whole forest. 377 00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,811 This model of the Yellowstone caldera 378 00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,205 will help me figure out the Greys' plan. 379 00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:14,859 I have to present my findings to the general tomorrow, 380 00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,339 and I still do not know 381 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:19,081 why the Greys want to blow up the super volcano. 382 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,171 If I can find the answer, I bet it will impress Heather. 383 00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:25,305 I wonder if her feathers are soft. 384 00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:29,135 Oh, shit, I did it again! 385 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,398 This is what Asta was talking about. 386 00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:34,096 Even thinking about her is interrupting my work. 387 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:37,578 Maybe if I call Heather and hear her voice, it will help, 388 00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:40,233 like when I am hungry and eat just one potato chip. 389 00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:42,278 Yeah. 390 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:46,630 Hello, Harry. 391 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,854 Aah! 392 00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,728 Nope, nope, nope. 393 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:05,127 Uh, Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle speaking. 394 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,390 It's Heather. You just called me. 395 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,305 Nope. Nope, I'm-- 396 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,828 You called me. 397 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:13,701 Because you called me. 398 00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:16,312 It's fine. I was going to call you anyway. 399 00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:17,792 You were? 400 00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:19,968 I mean-- 401 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,230 What about? 402 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,450 I found this hole with a little bump in it 403 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,016 on my stomach, 404 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,236 and I've never been nude in human form 405 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,368 long enough to notice it. 406 00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,370 What is it for? 407 00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:34,330 The reason is gross. I threw up when I found out. 408 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:37,986 Humans grow babies inside of their bodies. 409 00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,074 Oh. 410 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:40,902 And then they come out of that bump? 411 00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:44,862 No. Although, the reality is not much better. 412 00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:47,126 Okay. I'm going to hang up. 413 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,867 I want to go back to exploring every single inch of my body. 414 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:52,609 I will never be able to work again. 415 00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,089 My knees. 416 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,934 Elliot, hi. 417 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,631 Hi. 418 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,067 Laundry day. 419 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,200 Fun times, yeah. 420 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,942 Uh, how are you doing? - I'm good. 421 00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,552 It's good to see you. 422 00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:23,597 Hi. 423 00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,861 This is Natalie. 424 00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,168 Natalie, this is D'Arcy. - Hey. 425 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,561 Oh, you're D'Arcy. 426 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:33,302 Hi. 427 00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:36,958 Oh, you're Natalie. Of course. 428 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:47,577 - How have you been? - Oh, I've been great. 429 00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:48,752 So good. 430 00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,798 Yeah, I've been doing stuff, big stuff. 431 00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:53,104 This morning I had a crazy thing happen-- 432 00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:54,323 before laundry-- 433 00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:57,326 where I did this huge thing. 434 00:19:57,326 --> 00:20:01,025 I can't tell you what it is, but pretty major. 435 00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:03,593 Um, kind of top secret, but... 436 00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:06,944 I'd say, without me, the world would be over. 437 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,772 Lots of people saved. 438 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,471 Banana was involved. 439 00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:13,255 Okay, well, it was nice meeting you, 440 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,779 but we should probably go. - Yeah, I got to go too. 441 00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,872 Got to fold this stuff, so... 442 00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:34,276 Therefore, the Greys will harness 443 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:37,714 the intense natural power of the caldera-- 444 00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:41,805 not unlike the intense natural power of love. 445 00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,068 Oh, so intense and strong, 446 00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:47,550 and you can't let it get away... 447 00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:50,727 just like you cannot let the-- the Greys get away 448 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,904 with setting off a super--super volcano 449 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,080 and destroying, 450 00:20:56,080 --> 00:21:00,171 uh, all humanity on Earth. 451 00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,825 Boom. 452 00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:05,612 How does an alien species dig an underground cavern 453 00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,527 in the middle of a national park for 80 years 454 00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:09,268 and we don't know about it? 455 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,661 I can take that one. 456 00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:13,141 Humans are stupid. 457 00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:14,273 How do we know this alien 458 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,752 isn't working with the other aliens? 459 00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:17,363 How do I know this general isn't working 460 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,668 with the other generals? 461 00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:20,409 I am working with the other generals. 462 00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:23,325 - He admits it! - Stop. 463 00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,240 He's one of the most intelligent beings 464 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,415 on this planet. 465 00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,765 We need his help to find a solution 466 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:32,639 to what might be the biggest problem humans will ever face. 467 00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:36,730 That problem is, how do you get them to love you back? 468 00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:38,775 Let's toss that around. There's no wrong answers. 469 00:21:38,775 --> 00:21:43,258 I was talking about the swarm of Grey hybrids at Yellowstone. 470 00:21:43,258 --> 00:21:45,129 Oh, okay. 471 00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:47,175 We'll do the love thing next. 472 00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,437 I recommend full assault-- 473 00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:51,135 shockwave tasers, mass electrocution. 474 00:21:51,135 --> 00:21:53,877 Oh, that's a terrible idea. 475 00:21:53,877 --> 00:21:55,488 If you attack the hybrids, 476 00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:57,403 then the Greys will just freeze your soldiers 477 00:21:57,403 --> 00:21:59,056 and kill them all. 478 00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:01,972 - You can't sit and do nothing. - Because love will go away. 479 00:22:01,972 --> 00:22:05,149 Thank you. That is one vote for saying "I love you." 480 00:22:05,149 --> 00:22:07,238 He was talking about the Greys. 481 00:22:07,238 --> 00:22:09,850 Oh, I need time to figure out the plan. 482 00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:11,982 You have one week. 483 00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:13,549 Then we're moving in. 484 00:22:18,815 --> 00:22:21,557 all: Hey! 485 00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:24,038 - Mark, Dan. - Hey. 486 00:22:24,038 --> 00:22:25,169 - Asta. - Hi. 487 00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:27,084 And Jay, right? - Yeah. 488 00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:29,304 Jay, these are all your relations. 489 00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:31,567 This is your second cousin, Sampson and Will. 490 00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:33,656 - Hi. - Your cousin Peter. 491 00:22:33,656 --> 00:22:36,093 Kayla's sister Rachel. - Hi. 492 00:22:36,093 --> 00:22:37,617 - Auntie Mena. - Hi. 493 00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:40,881 Auntie Louise and Grandma Ruth. 494 00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:43,362 And the happy couple, Drew and Manuel. 495 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,667 - Hi. - Hi. 496 00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:47,757 Thanks. It's really nice to meet all of you. 497 00:22:47,757 --> 00:22:50,412 I think I might need to go over the names once or twice. 498 00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:54,068 My girl, let's go get you some buffalo stew. 499 00:22:54,068 --> 00:22:56,418 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 500 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,816 Oh, so handsome. 501 00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:05,862 - Thank you. - Look at this--nice bling. 502 00:23:05,862 --> 00:23:08,604 Don't be jealous just because you don't got a medallion yet. 503 00:23:08,604 --> 00:23:10,824 Wait, what about, um, your short king, Harry? 504 00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:12,478 Where's your boyfriend Harry? 505 00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:13,740 Stop. No. Stop it. 506 00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,742 - Where's boyfriend Harry? - Oh, hey. Hey. 507 00:23:18,092 --> 00:23:19,702 I heard it was a tractor. 508 00:23:19,702 --> 00:23:21,791 Nuh-uh. I heard it was a helicopter. 509 00:23:21,791 --> 00:23:23,663 Dewey said it was a monster truck. 510 00:23:23,663 --> 00:23:25,055 What are we talking about? 511 00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:27,449 Trying to guess what Liv and that sheriff 512 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:29,625 have hidden on the rez. - What? 513 00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:31,932 They're all wrong. It's a van. 514 00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:34,413 They're trying to get fingerprints. 515 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:37,851 Interesting, a van. 516 00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:39,330 Where exactly? 517 00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:43,422 You saw Dr. Beasley when you mentioned the van? 518 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,771 We might not have the key, 519 00:23:44,771 --> 00:23:47,774 but there has to be something we missed-- 520 00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:49,428 like a keyhole? 521 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,994 I may not trust the forest doctor, 522 00:23:50,994 --> 00:23:53,083 but I do trust your instincts, Deputy, 523 00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:56,391 and something's definitely off with this van. 524 00:23:56,391 --> 00:23:57,566 What do you see? 525 00:23:57,566 --> 00:23:59,568 Well, this is a 255-horsepower, 526 00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:02,745 5.4-liter V-8 E350 cargo van, right? 527 00:24:02,745 --> 00:24:05,269 My buddy Roger, he's got this exact model. 528 00:24:05,269 --> 00:24:09,752 Everything in here is standard except for this flooring. 529 00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:12,059 See, this is aftermarket black PVC 530 00:24:12,059 --> 00:24:13,582 thermoplastic lining, right? 531 00:24:13,582 --> 00:24:16,019 Now, I think we need to get this lining out. 532 00:24:16,019 --> 00:24:17,760 We gonna find what we're looking for. 533 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,458 So I'm going to need a few things. 534 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,589 I'm going to need a crowbar. 535 00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:22,504 We need a half gallon of muriatic acid. 536 00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,637 I'm going to need, like, nine strips of firecrackers, 537 00:24:24,637 --> 00:24:26,856 the little ones, though, not the M80s. 538 00:24:26,856 --> 00:24:30,077 Although I will need 16 of those. 539 00:24:30,077 --> 00:24:33,515 Found it. 540 00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:36,736 Well, well, well, we got ourselves a keyhole. 541 00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:38,128 Huh. 542 00:24:38,128 --> 00:24:41,001 Once again, I have followed your instincts 543 00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,959 and led us to victory. 544 00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:44,874 - Okay. - Mm. 545 00:24:50,227 --> 00:24:52,012 If I have learned one thing 546 00:24:52,012 --> 00:24:54,014 from meeting with the generals, 547 00:24:54,014 --> 00:24:55,711 it is that mating is like war. 548 00:24:55,711 --> 00:24:57,408 You cannot sit around and wait. 549 00:24:57,408 --> 00:24:58,758 You have to take action. 550 00:24:58,758 --> 00:25:00,499 Do it. 551 00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,457 She's the one in the jacket. 552 00:25:04,764 --> 00:25:06,983 I think I know which one she is. 553 00:25:09,986 --> 00:25:12,336 Oh, God, wait, I changed my mind. 554 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:19,169 What did she say? She's looking over here. 555 00:25:22,782 --> 00:25:24,827 "Are there any doctors in town 556 00:25:24,827 --> 00:25:26,089 "you like more than a friend? 557 00:25:26,089 --> 00:25:28,135 Circle yes, no, maybe." 558 00:25:28,135 --> 00:25:30,311 Did she say anything? You got to tell me everything. 559 00:25:30,311 --> 00:25:33,270 Oh, she's com--she's coming. Go, go, go. 560 00:25:35,664 --> 00:25:37,318 Harry, hey. 561 00:25:39,059 --> 00:25:41,409 Um, I'm really flattered. 562 00:25:41,409 --> 00:25:42,845 It worked. 563 00:25:42,845 --> 00:25:46,066 But, uh, you can't have feelings for me. 564 00:25:46,066 --> 00:25:48,242 Your species has no emotions. 565 00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:51,027 I do. I-it's the human in me. 566 00:25:51,027 --> 00:25:52,899 You ate a human? 567 00:25:52,899 --> 00:25:55,728 No. 568 00:25:55,728 --> 00:25:57,860 I mean, the DNA. 569 00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,514 Got it. 570 00:25:59,514 --> 00:26:02,038 Because I was going to ask you how they, you know... 571 00:26:02,038 --> 00:26:03,823 - Taste? - Mm-hmm. 572 00:26:03,823 --> 00:26:06,913 I don't know. 573 00:26:06,913 --> 00:26:11,918 Probably like chick-- like, uh... 574 00:26:11,918 --> 00:26:13,920 You were going to say "chicken" just now. 575 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,182 - I wasn't, no. - Uh, you were. 576 00:26:15,182 --> 00:26:18,881 I was going to say "ChapStick." 577 00:26:18,881 --> 00:26:22,624 It's a tasty... 578 00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:25,192 stick of wax. 579 00:26:25,192 --> 00:26:27,411 Oh, I know. I've eaten quite a few of them. 580 00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:30,632 Yeah. 581 00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:32,982 You're great. - Thank you. 582 00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:38,945 Your kind is usually so cold, and you are so different. 583 00:26:38,945 --> 00:26:42,644 You're a lot--a lot different. 584 00:26:44,690 --> 00:26:49,172 It's just--I'm only hanging out here until the portal is fixed. 585 00:26:49,172 --> 00:26:52,741 So what would be the point, as they say? 586 00:26:54,003 --> 00:26:56,963 So let's just be friends. 587 00:27:00,444 --> 00:27:03,665 I understand. 588 00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:07,669 Yes, let's just be friends. 589 00:27:07,669 --> 00:27:09,976 Okay. 590 00:27:09,976 --> 00:27:14,110 So you're circling no? 591 00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:15,982 I would love to circle "yes," 592 00:27:15,982 --> 00:27:18,158 but it's not-- that's not feasible. 593 00:27:18,158 --> 00:27:20,073 Right. 594 00:27:20,073 --> 00:27:23,076 Friends. 595 00:27:26,427 --> 00:27:29,648 Yeah. 596 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,912 That's really all I want... 597 00:27:32,912 --> 00:27:35,654 is friendship. 598 00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,699 Great. 599 00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:40,441 I want to die. 600 00:27:48,144 --> 00:27:50,320 Thanks for showing us so much love. 601 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,759 All right, this next tune is going out to our happy couple, 602 00:27:53,759 --> 00:27:55,195 Drew and Manuel. 603 00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:59,721 Thank you. 604 00:28:10,601 --> 00:28:13,735 ♪ Long time ago, we had some dough ♪ 605 00:28:13,735 --> 00:28:16,172 ♪ Needed to unwind 606 00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:19,654 ♪ Looking for trouble, looking for fun... ♪ 607 00:28:19,654 --> 00:28:21,395 Harry, I have called you five times. 608 00:28:21,395 --> 00:28:22,918 Where are you? 609 00:28:22,918 --> 00:28:24,833 Mike and Liv have been stashing the alien tracker van 610 00:28:24,833 --> 00:28:26,400 on the rez. 611 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,881 Who knows if there's any traces of your DNA in there? 612 00:28:28,881 --> 00:28:31,579 You need to call me back. 613 00:28:31,579 --> 00:28:33,755 Bye. 614 00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:37,411 Don't tell Drew, but I think Grams has a new favorite. 615 00:28:37,411 --> 00:28:39,500 I always knew they'd get along. 616 00:28:41,894 --> 00:28:43,547 What? What's wrong? 617 00:28:43,547 --> 00:28:47,856 Nothing. I'm--I'm so happy she's here. 618 00:28:47,856 --> 00:28:51,251 I just--I wish when I was 16, 619 00:28:51,251 --> 00:28:53,340 I could have looked ahead and seen all this, 620 00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:55,646 and then I would have known that if I had held on to her, 621 00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:57,692 everything would have been all right. 622 00:28:57,692 --> 00:29:00,564 That 16-year-old gave up the most precious thing 623 00:29:00,564 --> 00:29:02,131 in her life. 624 00:29:02,131 --> 00:29:04,177 I can't imagine how that must have hurt. 625 00:29:04,177 --> 00:29:06,962 But you did it because you knew with everything going on 626 00:29:06,962 --> 00:29:10,226 in your life at that time that it was the best thing for Jay. 627 00:29:10,226 --> 00:29:12,489 Right. 628 00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:16,276 Come on. 629 00:29:16,276 --> 00:29:18,582 - You want to dance? - Oh, I do. 630 00:29:27,417 --> 00:29:29,376 Hi. 631 00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:40,039 ♪ Hey, baby 632 00:29:42,128 --> 00:29:44,217 ♪ My baby 633 00:29:46,306 --> 00:29:49,613 ♪ Where are you tonight? 634 00:29:53,269 --> 00:29:55,228 ♪ Hey, baby 635 00:29:57,273 --> 00:29:58,840 ♪ My baby 636 00:30:01,321 --> 00:30:04,890 ♪ Where are you tonight? 637 00:30:04,890 --> 00:30:06,065 Oh. 638 00:30:47,758 --> 00:30:50,457 I told you not to look at that. 639 00:30:50,457 --> 00:30:52,415 Whoops, that's not my checkbook. 640 00:30:52,415 --> 00:30:54,330 How much did you see? 641 00:30:54,330 --> 00:30:56,376 Only the scary parts. 642 00:30:56,376 --> 00:30:58,900 There are no scary parts. It's a children's book. 643 00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:00,075 Hey, what's this? 644 00:31:00,075 --> 00:31:01,772 Oh, no, Max, don't. 645 00:31:01,772 --> 00:31:03,644 Hmm. 646 00:31:04,993 --> 00:31:06,125 No. 647 00:31:12,174 --> 00:31:14,220 We have a problem. 648 00:31:14,220 --> 00:31:16,222 Anders just walked off the Darling Project. 649 00:31:16,222 --> 00:31:19,355 He said the results you want are impossible. 650 00:31:19,355 --> 00:31:20,748 Get someone else. 651 00:31:20,748 --> 00:31:23,925 There is no one else who's done this before. 652 00:31:26,275 --> 00:31:27,973 Yes, there is. 653 00:31:27,973 --> 00:31:29,931 Cobra up. 654 00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:31,237 Nice and easy. 655 00:31:31,237 --> 00:31:33,369 Head up to the sky. 656 00:31:33,369 --> 00:31:36,459 Breathe, take your time. 657 00:31:36,459 --> 00:31:40,463 When you're ready to go down, push your hips up to the sky, 658 00:31:40,463 --> 00:31:43,162 strain your back, and hold the pose. 659 00:31:43,162 --> 00:31:45,294 Hi. 660 00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:48,863 I'm retired. 661 00:31:48,863 --> 00:31:50,691 You retired me. 662 00:31:50,691 --> 00:31:52,214 What if I say no? 663 00:31:52,214 --> 00:31:54,956 I don't know. Let's find out. 664 00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:56,349 That would be fun. 665 00:32:10,276 --> 00:32:11,755 If we run out of magnets, 666 00:32:11,755 --> 00:32:13,801 I got some more office supplies from Amazon Prime. 667 00:32:13,801 --> 00:32:16,543 The Transformer? 668 00:32:16,543 --> 00:32:17,848 What? 669 00:32:17,848 --> 00:32:19,938 You know, Optimus Prime's wife. 670 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:23,985 Uh, no, that's, um, not what I meant. 671 00:32:23,985 --> 00:32:25,987 Also, just curious, how would I, like, 672 00:32:25,987 --> 00:32:28,947 even meet a Transformer to get a box of magnets from them? 673 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:32,863 Could be anyplace--the gym, maybe an auto-body shop. 674 00:32:32,863 --> 00:32:36,215 Hey, look, check out these schematics. 675 00:32:36,215 --> 00:32:40,523 It appears that your instincts were dead-on. 676 00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:42,569 Look at that. 677 00:32:42,569 --> 00:32:45,354 Wow. There's room for a hidden compartment 678 00:32:45,354 --> 00:32:46,921 near the cross-shaped indent. 679 00:32:46,921 --> 00:32:50,577 Now we just have to figure out how to open it. 680 00:32:50,577 --> 00:32:52,405 Damn, that's a high-quality magnet. 681 00:32:52,405 --> 00:32:54,407 Probably fit, like, three of these pictures 682 00:32:54,407 --> 00:32:56,583 to Fred's metal hip with one of these bad boys. 683 00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:58,150 Oh. 684 00:33:00,761 --> 00:33:04,286 Where did you find this magnet? - I found it stuck to the desk. 685 00:33:04,286 --> 00:33:05,374 What desk? 686 00:33:09,378 --> 00:33:11,424 Wait, what's that? 687 00:33:13,643 --> 00:33:15,819 Bingo. 688 00:33:20,302 --> 00:33:22,391 What's he doing? 689 00:33:25,264 --> 00:33:27,962 He just put that phone in his pocket. 690 00:33:27,962 --> 00:33:29,572 He's reading Robert's diary. 691 00:33:29,572 --> 00:33:31,270 Is there anything important in that? 692 00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:32,967 The therapist's name. 693 00:33:34,099 --> 00:33:36,579 Sheriff, the therapist died 694 00:33:36,579 --> 00:33:38,973 a day after Joseph saw that diary. 695 00:33:38,973 --> 00:33:41,410 So, if he came here to spy on us, 696 00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:43,630 he could still be doing it. 697 00:33:44,892 --> 00:33:47,025 Dr. Beasley. 698 00:34:08,611 --> 00:34:10,178 We're too late. 699 00:34:18,578 --> 00:34:19,970 Oh. 700 00:34:19,970 --> 00:34:22,147 Yeah, this thing's on its last legs. 701 00:34:24,279 --> 00:34:26,064 Well, I don't care how many legs it has. 702 00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:29,980 Just how long to fix it, and can you make it longer? 703 00:34:32,113 --> 00:34:34,115 Brought you pretzels. 704 00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:35,812 Well, I found them in the Jeep, 705 00:34:35,812 --> 00:34:38,250 but I brought them inside, so... 706 00:34:38,250 --> 00:34:40,861 Is that a human? 707 00:34:40,861 --> 00:34:44,299 That is not cool, man. She can't see me. 708 00:34:44,299 --> 00:34:46,780 This is going to go on my record. 709 00:34:46,780 --> 00:34:48,825 That is just her human form. 710 00:34:48,825 --> 00:34:52,220 She is a slug species from the Earendel system. 711 00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:55,354 Thanks for that. 712 00:34:55,354 --> 00:34:58,879 Now, you see your first alien, mind-blowing. 713 00:34:58,879 --> 00:35:00,924 And then after that, it's kind of like, meh. 714 00:35:00,924 --> 00:35:02,100 Why are you here? 715 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,797 I need to check on where we're at 716 00:35:03,797 --> 00:35:05,494 with the whole "saving the world" thing. 717 00:35:05,494 --> 00:35:09,019 We are not at anywhere. 718 00:35:09,019 --> 00:35:12,371 I am building a model of the Yellowstone caldera 719 00:35:12,371 --> 00:35:14,851 to figure out what the Greys' plan is 720 00:35:14,851 --> 00:35:18,072 to slaughter all of the human race. 721 00:35:18,072 --> 00:35:20,857 But I ran out of glitter. 722 00:35:20,857 --> 00:35:22,685 Oh, you made the snow all sparkly. 723 00:35:22,685 --> 00:35:24,513 - Need some trees. 724 00:35:24,513 --> 00:35:26,167 Can I add some? 725 00:35:26,167 --> 00:35:27,908 You are already doing it. 726 00:35:27,908 --> 00:35:29,475 Question for you-- 727 00:35:29,475 --> 00:35:31,433 you're an alien here to save the world, blah, blah, blah. 728 00:35:31,433 --> 00:35:33,348 Does it ever bother you 729 00:35:33,348 --> 00:35:36,264 that you can't tell anybody about it? 730 00:35:36,264 --> 00:35:40,312 It was hard at first, but then... 731 00:35:40,312 --> 00:35:41,965 Asta found out. 732 00:35:41,965 --> 00:35:44,881 And it was easier 733 00:35:44,881 --> 00:35:48,755 because I was no longer alone. 734 00:35:48,755 --> 00:35:50,670 See, that's what I mean. 735 00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:53,281 I saw Elliot today. 736 00:35:53,281 --> 00:35:54,935 He has a girlfriend now, 737 00:35:54,935 --> 00:35:57,894 which kind of made me feel like shit. 738 00:35:57,894 --> 00:35:59,418 Why are you telling me this? 739 00:35:59,418 --> 00:36:01,376 I don't know, because you're an alien. 740 00:36:01,376 --> 00:36:03,857 I figure you can't judge me. It's like talking to a dog. 741 00:36:03,857 --> 00:36:07,121 Anyway, if I could tell Elliot what I was doing, 742 00:36:07,121 --> 00:36:10,690 you know, then I'd have something too. 743 00:36:10,690 --> 00:36:14,563 If you do something special and nobody knows about it, 744 00:36:14,563 --> 00:36:16,304 are you still special? 745 00:36:20,482 --> 00:36:22,702 So who's Elliot? 746 00:36:22,702 --> 00:36:25,835 You guys done or what? 747 00:36:25,835 --> 00:36:27,315 Go away. 748 00:36:29,361 --> 00:36:30,971 Also... 749 00:36:30,971 --> 00:36:33,234 Elliott is happy. 750 00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:37,325 And I was actually happy to see him happy. 751 00:36:37,325 --> 00:36:40,589 If you were happy that he was happy, 752 00:36:40,589 --> 00:36:43,244 then why is your face all mopey 753 00:36:43,244 --> 00:36:46,334 and your voice is like wet underwear? 754 00:36:46,334 --> 00:36:50,773 Because if I want him happy, even if he didn't want me, 755 00:36:50,773 --> 00:36:52,862 then that means that... 756 00:36:54,908 --> 00:36:57,432 I love him, and... 757 00:36:57,432 --> 00:37:00,218 I ruined something... 758 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,436 real. 759 00:37:12,969 --> 00:37:16,364 Are we really not going to talk about Mom's murder story? 760 00:37:16,364 --> 00:37:19,149 It's not-- 761 00:37:19,149 --> 00:37:20,890 God forbid I write a sweet little children's book. 762 00:37:20,890 --> 00:37:23,153 There are worms coming out of the dead mouse's stomach. 763 00:37:23,153 --> 00:37:24,633 - Those are entrails. - Ugh. 764 00:37:24,633 --> 00:37:26,287 I am done with dinner. 765 00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:30,030 Hon, Max is right. Maybe we need to talk about it. 766 00:37:33,076 --> 00:37:34,339 Go ahead, Max. 767 00:37:34,339 --> 00:37:36,471 What? No way am I going first. 768 00:37:36,471 --> 00:37:37,951 Okay. 769 00:37:37,951 --> 00:37:39,518 Well, I think we were both just expecting 770 00:37:39,518 --> 00:37:41,650 something a little more cute and--and upbeat 771 00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:43,173 for a children's book. 772 00:37:43,173 --> 00:37:46,133 It's a beautiful story about a mother feeding 773 00:37:46,133 --> 00:37:47,613 and protecting her babies. 774 00:37:47,613 --> 00:37:51,051 Objectively, if you were in your classroom 775 00:37:51,051 --> 00:37:55,447 and you saw a student drawing this... 776 00:37:57,579 --> 00:38:01,496 Would you maybe call their parents in to talk? 777 00:38:01,496 --> 00:38:03,629 Oh, my God, what is happening to me? 778 00:38:05,370 --> 00:38:07,459 I can't get these owls out of my head. 779 00:38:07,459 --> 00:38:10,505 I saw a movie once where a person saw an owl, 780 00:38:10,505 --> 00:38:13,203 and it meant they were being abducted by aliens. 781 00:38:13,203 --> 00:38:14,335 Does your butt hurt? 782 00:38:14,335 --> 00:38:16,032 Okay, that's not really dinner talk. 783 00:38:16,032 --> 00:38:17,207 And we have been over this-- 784 00:38:17,207 --> 00:38:20,080 there's no such thing as aliens, okay? 785 00:38:31,004 --> 00:38:32,701 Getting the band back together-- 786 00:38:32,701 --> 00:38:35,051 man, we haven't dusted up like that since... 787 00:38:35,051 --> 00:38:37,053 the Gathering of Nations. 788 00:38:38,751 --> 00:38:40,579 Yeah. 789 00:38:40,579 --> 00:38:44,104 Hey, Dad, I think I did a bad thing. 790 00:38:44,104 --> 00:38:48,804 Harry's in love with this alien bird. 791 00:38:48,804 --> 00:38:52,721 And so I told him not to pursue it. 792 00:38:52,721 --> 00:38:55,898 I told him that he should focus on saving the world, 793 00:38:55,898 --> 00:38:59,728 but I don't think that's why I did it. 794 00:39:00,947 --> 00:39:04,211 Someone feeling a little jealous? 795 00:39:04,211 --> 00:39:06,866 No. 796 00:39:06,866 --> 00:39:10,435 Well, not romantically anyway. 797 00:39:10,435 --> 00:39:12,828 But... 798 00:39:12,828 --> 00:39:14,700 maybe, yeah. 799 00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:17,224 I mean, it was always just me and Harry. 800 00:39:17,224 --> 00:39:18,747 He needed me. 801 00:39:18,747 --> 00:39:20,967 And now he's not even answering my phone calls. 802 00:39:20,967 --> 00:39:23,448 You know how much you mean to him. 803 00:39:23,448 --> 00:39:24,971 I know. 804 00:39:26,929 --> 00:39:28,888 Being there today, seeing all those people, 805 00:39:28,888 --> 00:39:32,282 surrounded by all that love... 806 00:39:32,282 --> 00:39:35,242 It just made me realize he should get to have that too. 807 00:39:37,244 --> 00:39:39,681 - Hey. - Hi. 808 00:39:39,681 --> 00:39:42,423 Thank you so much for bringing me to the rez. 809 00:39:42,423 --> 00:39:45,905 It was a lot, but I loved it. 810 00:39:45,905 --> 00:39:49,909 Also, my mom and I kind of got into a bit of a fight, 811 00:39:49,909 --> 00:39:53,086 so I was wondering if maybe I could crash 812 00:39:53,086 --> 00:39:54,522 with you for a few days. 813 00:39:54,522 --> 00:39:57,743 Before you say no, just think about it, okay? 814 00:39:57,743 --> 00:39:59,832 It could be fun. 815 00:39:59,832 --> 00:40:02,748 All right, um, I've got to go, but think about it. 816 00:40:02,748 --> 00:40:04,924 All right. I'll talk to you soon. 817 00:40:04,924 --> 00:40:06,404 O-okay. 818 00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:08,971 There are many terrifying things in the world, 819 00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:11,931 but the most terrifying thing is love. 820 00:40:16,109 --> 00:40:20,243 ♪ In the middle of the night again ♪ 821 00:40:20,243 --> 00:40:24,683 ♪ Still water, and the birds don't sing... ♪ 822 00:40:24,683 --> 00:40:27,468 It attacks you like a thing with claws. 823 00:40:27,468 --> 00:40:31,690 ♪ Medicating for the trouble that's coming ♪ 824 00:40:34,997 --> 00:40:38,914 ♪ This house wasn't made for strangers ♪ 825 00:40:38,914 --> 00:40:42,440 ♪ But you come knocking anyway ♪ 826 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,226 ♪ I can hear you knocking on the door ♪ 827 00:40:46,226 --> 00:40:50,622 ♪ I won't leave it open for you anymore ♪ 828 00:40:50,622 --> 00:40:54,452 Love opens you up, and there you are. 829 00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:59,544 ♪ Knocking on the door of the house of mercy ♪ 830 00:41:02,024 --> 00:41:05,811 ♪ Don't try to change my mind ♪ 831 00:41:05,811 --> 00:41:08,248 And you don't even try to stop it. 832 00:41:08,248 --> 00:41:10,555 You let it feed. 833 00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:21,304 ♪ Don't try to wear me down 834 00:41:21,304 --> 00:41:24,351 Because real love makes you want the person you love 835 00:41:24,351 --> 00:41:26,135 to be okay... 836 00:41:31,445 --> 00:41:33,491 Even if you are not. 837 00:41:45,154 --> 00:41:47,548 Heather? 838 00:42:11,398 --> 00:42:13,356 Son of a bitch. 839 00:42:48,783 --> 00:42:50,611 Tell me about when you worked 840 00:42:50,611 --> 00:42:52,570 for DARPA's autonomous robotics program. 841 00:42:54,223 --> 00:42:57,096 The VA would donate soldiers who were in a vegetative state 842 00:42:57,096 --> 00:42:58,488 to DARPA. 843 00:42:58,488 --> 00:42:59,925 Instead of pulling the plug, 844 00:42:59,925 --> 00:43:02,101 we kept them alive and ran experiments. 845 00:43:02,101 --> 00:43:04,407 I quit that job. 846 00:43:04,407 --> 00:43:06,235 I still have nightmares. 847 00:43:10,544 --> 00:43:12,154 Nope. 848 00:43:12,154 --> 00:43:14,374 No way in hell am I putting that thing on. 849 00:43:14,374 --> 00:43:16,245 It's not for you. 850 00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:21,250 It's for him. 851 00:43:23,470 --> 00:43:25,733 Who better to fight aliens 852 00:43:25,733 --> 00:43:28,475 than someone who can see aliens? 60248

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