All language subtitles for s15e02 - Frankenhooker [AMZN] - WEB-DL-1080P-X264-EAC3-2 0_track3_[eng]

♪♪

-Okay, we're back with part two
of Joe Bob's

"Heartbreak Trailer Park,"
our tribute to one of the most

excruciating holidays
on the calendar.

And Darcy, tell me if you agree
with this --

Valentine's Day
is controlled by women.

-Why do you say that?

-Because almost all of the stuff
you do on Valentine's Day

is stuff that, if men were
in charge, we'd probably go,

"You know what? I think we can
probably do without that."

-It's for people in love.
It's not gender-based.

I know, but flowers,
like, candy, teddy bears.

I mean, we do it
because it works.

You know, it makes women happy.

So -- we don't know why
it makes women happy.

Especially flowers,
because they're already dead,

and they're just going
to get deader.

So, if flowers are
a symbol of love,

the message is, "things are
only going to get worse here."

-Don't be cynical.
-All right.

Well, what do you -- what do you
think about smell stores,

for example?

-What's that?
-Come on.

You know what a smell store is.

You know, it's one
of those shops in the mall.

My ex, Wanda Bodine,
opened one up in the mall.

-Are you talking
about aromatherapy?

-Well, yeah,
among other things.

I mean, all right, just let's
start with that, just that word.

Is that really a thing?

You smell something,
and it's therapy.

See, that's a girl thing.

Men don't do that.

-I think they do.

-The only aromatherapy for men
that I can think of is truckers.

They can buy
those air freshener cards

that hang on a rearview mirror.

You know, and it has a picture
of the Hustler

Honey of the Month
from the Beaver Hunt page.

I don't know what those things
are supposed to smell like.

I mean, I could guess.

-Don't go there.
-All right.

Well, anyway, Wanda had
this little shop in the mall

where she sold stuff
that emits aromas --

you know, smelly oils,
smelly herbs, smelly candles,

smelly dried flower
arrangements,

you know, smelly clumps
of pine bark, you know,

you're supposed to stick on
your desk at the office

so you'll feel better
about yourself.

You know you're supposed to go,

"Wow, smell that pine sap
from the Shenandoah Valley.

Makes all my corpuscles want to
dance the boogaloo today,

as I crank out that proposal for
the new wind turbine in Akron."

I'm not making this up, Darcy.

You have never seen
these stores.

-Of course I have.
-Okay, so that --

so, that's the whole deal
with the store -- smells.

You know, I didn't believe it
when Wanda Bodine first told me

she was going to do it.

You know, I had to go down
to the mall, and check it out.

But there it was.

It was called
"Essence ala Bodine."

And right smack dab in the
middle of the picture window

was one of those fluffy baskets

of every man's
greatest nightmare.

-Are you doing a rant now?

-I kind of am, now, actually.

You know what the worst thing is
in those stores.

-Please tell me

-Potpourri.

I can't spell -- spell it,
and I can't say it, really,

but I know it's French, and has
way too many vowels in it.

And basically,
what it looks like

is a big old handful of weeds
and sticks in a brown basket.

And women love this stuff.

Women will travel 9 miles
out of their way

to pick up a crate
of this stuff.

Women love to scatter this stuff
all over the house

like a Marine Corps
obstacle course,

until, every time you take a
bite out of a baloney sandwich,

it tastes like a perfumed cat.

-Why are you saying
it's only women?

-Darcy, please.

Please. Let's --
You know what?

Let's download those statistics
from the National Potpourri

Manufacturers Association,
or whatever,

and we will discover number
of women who buy a potpourri --

97 million.

All right? Number of men who buy
potpourri -- 0!

And you know why?

Because these are --
these are the same women --

listen to this.
-Okay.

This just occurred to me.

The same women who buy potpourri
hate the smell of a Cuban cigar.

Which is what?

I believe a cigar
would be an herb, right?

A natural herb,

nurtured out of the most fertile
soil in the world,

which is the Vuelta Abajo
district

in the Pinar del Rio province
of Cuba.

And then, what do you do
with a cigar?

You ignite it with a low flame,
just exactly the same way you do

with those Indonesian wahine
wing candles

that cost 26 bucks apiece.

if they do it, it's atmosphere.

If we do it,
it's a disgusting gross

pollution of the sacred hearth,
right?

And let's talk about candles.

You know,
they have those thousands

and thousands of candles

because electricity is not
good enough for them, right?

But the place where Wanda
was making the really big bucks

was soap.

Soap, and all the stuff women

think that they have to put on
their faces after they use soap.

The soaps all have these names
like "Lavender Breeze"

and "Herbal Oleander
Accent Juice,"

or "William Black Sea
Wisteria Wonder."

They're these big
hunky bars

that look like they were
cut with a chainsaw,

and they cost, like,
9 bucks apiece.

And then, after you use
the soap,

you got to slather
some Ode de Niagara Falls

moisturizer all over your skin,

so you don't dry out
and get Gobi Desert face.

But the main -- the main thing
about all this stuff

is the smell.

You go in the store, and people
are just sniffing up a storm.

You got a sinus convention
going on.

And some of the stuff they're
smelling is just for smelling.

In other words, it's not soap.
It's not potpourri.

It's not perfume.

It's not candles
dipped in bamboo shavings.

It's just this little bottle

that you stick up your nose
every day, like a drug,

so that the aroma
floods up into your brain,

and makes you see psychedelic
sea serpents, or something.

-Oh, are you done?

-Yes. I think I think I am.
-All right.

You know, soap dries out
your skin.

-That's your comment.
"Soap dries out your skin."

-That's all I got.

-I knew you wouldn't understand.

But Darcy, I don't think
I have to ask you

what your next cosplay is,

because you've only been talking
about this movie for months.

And before that, you've been
known to do it at conventions.

And it's because of your deep,
intense love for the movie

that we're about to watch --

I'm actually presenting
this movie for the second time.

I introduced it 30 years ago
on the Movie Channel.

And at that time, I made
the prediction that this movie

will still be grossing us out,
quote, "20 years from now,"

which which would only take us
up to the year 2010.

But I was exaggerating,
because this is not

so much a gross-out movie
as a laugh-out-loud movie

that's still genuinely
disturbing.

So, it's that rarest
of achievements,

a horror-comedy that works both
as horror and as comedy.

And that's because
it's done by the master,

Frank Henenlotter,

my neighbor
and long-time friend,

who will be joining us
to talk about it,

along with the star of
the movie, James Lorinz.

He's the "Franken"
in "Frankenhooker."

It's a cautionary tale about
the dangers of true love,

right, Darcy?

- It's fun.

-Are you going whole hog?

I hope you're going whole hog
on the cosplay.

-Dude, I am going whole hog
villa on this one.

Okay, so -- all right,
so, getting to the movie.

First, there was
"Frankenstein," right?

Then, there was
"Bride of Frankenstein."

Then, there was "Abbott
and Costello meet Frankenstein."

Then there was
"Curse of Frankenstein,"

the first Hammer film.

And then, in 1990, when we least
expected it, "Frankenhooker."

And it's not that
we hadn't seen the story before,

because it's a combination
of every brain research,

mad scientist, unhinged psycho
movie of the past 60 years

and it even reminds you
a little bit of it Ed Gein,

the famous Plainfield,
Wisconsin, handyman

who collected body parts,
and danced around

in the moonlight with human skin
strapped to his body.

So, "Fun Ed,"
as we like to call him.

And he was the inspiration
for both "Psycho"

and "The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre."

But this is not just another
exploding head flick.

This is an exploding
body flick.

And more to the point,
it's a romantic comedy.

It's a black comedy.

Actually, it's so far
beyond black

that it's more like
a black hole comedy.

But it's a movie
that would probably get laughs

on Friday nights
at the Nevada State Institute

for the Criminally Insane.

And as you all know,
that's the highest compliment

that I ever give to a movie.

So, let me put it this way --

when they --
when they sent the movie over

to the MPAA ratings board
to have it screened,

the head honcho
at the ratings board

called up
the distribution company,

and said, "I'm going
to do you guys a favor.

I'm going to rewind this film.

I'm going to send it
back to your office.

I'm going to return your check
for the screening fee,

and then we're both going to act
like this never happened,

because we don't have
an S rating over here."

And the distribution guys said
"S rating?

You mean for 'sexy'?"

And he said, "No, for 'shit.'"

-Wow.

-And for a while,
they considered an ad campaign

that said "'Frankenhooker' --
first movie in history

to be rated S."

So, I don't want to spoil
this experience for you

by telling you too much
about the plot.

I'll just say
this movie was made

by a very twisted friend of mine
named Franken Henenlotter,

who also made "Basket Case,"

and "Brain Damage,"
and "Bad Biology."

I think Frank
is the only guy

who has three movies
that have been shown

on "The Last Drive-in."

And he'll be out here later
to account for himself,

along with James Lorinz,
the star of the movie.

So, let's take a look
at those drive-in totals.

We have 14 dead bodies.

27 breasts.

Actually, 35,
if you count the --

I'm not -- we're not going to
go there, never mind.

All right.
Exploding heads.

Exploding hookers.

Exploding guinea pigs.

Spewing body parts.

Brain in a jar,
Brain in a fish tank.

Drilled through the head
psychotherapy.

Head slicing.

Candlelight dinner with severed
head, with Beaujolais.

Girlfriend lawnmower.

Gratuitous bunion filing.

Gratuitous Swede.

Gratuitous Louise Lasser.

Heads roll. Arms roll.
Legs roll. Everything rolls.

Drive-in Academy Award
nominations for John Zacherle,

the creepy late-night host
of the '50's and '60's --

the man who started it all --

as a weatherman
for mad scientists.

Tom Hair for his excellent
Morton Downey impersonation.

James Lorinz, for saying,

"Medical schools
upset me, mother.

I'm antisocial.

I'm becoming dangerously
amoral."

And for apologizing
to the splattered corpses.

Joseph Gonzalez
as Zorro the Pill,

for setting the world
neck-chain record, and saying,

"My bitches just blew up on me."

Patty Mullen, the former
Penthouse Pet of the Year,

as Frankenhooker,
for staggering down 42nd Street

with suture marks
all over her body,

and giving new meaning to the
phrase, "Want a date?"

And of course, Edgar Ievins,
the producer,

and Frank Henenlotter,
the director,

the same two man team that gave
us "Basket Case" 1 an 2

and "Brain Damage,"
continuing to establish

lower and lower standards
in horrible taste.

My kind of guys.
Four stars.

One of the best films of
the whole decade of the '90's.

Joe Bob says, "Check it out."

Are you ready for this, Darcy?

-Oh, I am so ready.

-Are you -- Are you moisturized?

-Always.

-Because soap
dries out your skin,

so you have to be moisturized.

-I don't use soap

-What do you use?

-That's a secret.

-I know you have shopped
in a smell store.

Don't even try to deny that,
Darcy.

♪♪

♪♪

-Just watch my hand.

Watch it.
Watch my hand, now,

Nice and slow,
back and forth.

Watch the hand.

Come on. Do something.

Wake up. Let's go.

Let's see that peeper.

♪♪

♪♪

Be very careful, here.

I don't want to give it
a lobotomy.

♪♪

♪♪

Jesus. That's it.

That's it.
That's right.

Now, follow my hand.

Look at the hand.
Just follow the hand.

Come on. Got it.
Follow my hand.

We're in sync, now.

Now we're cookin'.

That's it.
That's it.

That's right.

-Jeffrey.

Be a doll,
and pass me the ketchup.

-Sorry.

-Thanks, hon.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Mom!

Oh.

Let me help you with that.
-Oh, no no no.

-Get those hamburgers up here.

-Will you hold your horses,
Henry?

Let me get started here.

By the way,
he's at it again in the kitchen.

-Oh, dear.

I'll check on him
in a minute.

-Would you?
I'd appreciate that,

'cause we can't get
too weird tonight, you know?

By the way, for your own good,
ease up on the pretzels.

-Hey, honey, come on.
Shake a leg, will you?

-Trouble?

-Nah. Same old thing.

Jeffrey's too strange,
and I'm too fat.

-What happened to your diet?

-Oh, heck, I've tried it all,
and nothing works.

I've tried liquid diets,
seafood diets, vegetable diets,

fruit diet, pills, powders,
Weight Watchers, and clinics.

I even had Jeffrey staple
my stomach.

And nothing helped.

-Jeffrey stapled your stomach?

-Yeah. But it didn't help much.
I'm still a compulsive eater.

-I didn't know Jeffrey
was a doctor.

-Well, yes and no.

-I thought he worked for
New Jersey Electric.

-Oh, he does.

He's just sort of a doctor
in his spare time.

Calls himself
a "bio-electro technician" --

whatever that means.

-Well, is he at least
going to medical school?

Oh, goodness, no.

He's been kicked out of
three of them already.

-And you let him operate on you?

-Well, of course.

I mean,
we're going to be married.

♪♪

♪♪

-Hi.

Whatcha doing?

Ooh, what's this?

-Uh...

I'm not sure.

I can fix it, though.

-Hmm.

Well, not now.
Come on out outside with me.

Dad's cooking
tons of hamburgers.

So nice.
-Good idea.

I need this table
to make my coleslaw.

[Knife cutting]

[Noisemaker blows]

[Applause, cheers]

-Thanks, sweetheart.
-Happy birthday, Daddy.

-Aw, you didn't have to.

-I got a surprise for you.

Now, close your eyes,

and don't open them
until I tell you.

-They're closed
nice and tight.

-Okay.

-She went and bought
me something.

-Okay, now turn around
real slowly.

Okay, Okay, stop, stop.

Now, open them.

And look.

Jeffrey rigged it
with this remote control,

so you don't even
have to push it.

-Thanks, son.

-Come on. This is your day.

I don't want any credit.

-He's always been creative.

-What?!

-And it's so easy.
You just turn it on like this.

-Don't stand in front of it.

-And this controls the speed
and the direction.

So, when you want it to go,
you just press this.

-You're on [indistinct].
Don't stand in front of it!

-[Screams]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Indistinct muttering]

♪♪

♪♪

-They can't tell me
what to do.

[Muttering continues]

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, wait a minute.

I want to get rid of that
chicken neck.

♪♪

I just don't want to set the oil
on fire.

♪♪

I'm not gonna [indistinct].

♪♪

Wait a minute. Yeah.

An extension cord.
I need a three-pronged here.

This is where the mole was.

I got to get rid of this.

♪♪

It's too much. It's too much.

♪♪

[Muttering continues]

♪♪

[Muttering continues]

Okay.
Where the hell is my calculator?

♪♪

♪♪

[Muttering continues]

♪♪

This way, I can turn her off.

♪♪

[Muttering continues]

♪♪

[Muttering continues]

♪♪

[Muttering continues]

♪♪

[Muttering continues]

♪♪

♪♪

[Sighs]

I got to get 1,600 volts.

I can tap into that.

I could tap into
North Power Station.

That would cause a brownout.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-What began as
a birthday barbecue

ended in a bizarre tragedy in
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey, today.

It was this power mower
that brought a quick end

to the life of
21-year-old bride-to-be

Elizabeth Shelley.

Like wood through a mulcher,

the Guerneville fiancé
disappeared

beneath the blades
of the Berserk mower

that sent her personality
raining down upon

the horrified birthday revelers
in a blaze of blood,

bones, and body parts.

The vivacious young girl
was instantly reduced

to a tossed human salad --

a salad at police
are still trying to gather up,

a salad that was once
named "Elizabeth."

But death by lawnmower

is not the end of the strange
twist in this case.

-Of course, it's hard to be
real specific, at this point,

but, yes, apparently parts
of her are missing.

-Do you know which parts,
or how many?

-Like I said, it's hard to be
real specific at this point.

She's just one big
jigsaw puzzle.

Jigsaw puzzle?

-Jigsaw puzzle.

-One of the eyewitnesses
to this terrible tragedy

is also the young
victim's fiancee.

Oh. Excuse me.

You saw the accident happen?

-I don't want to talk about it?

-And you have no idea
what happened to the head?

-I don't know.
I didn't see it.

The last time I saw it, it was
spinning through the air.

I don't know.

Why don't you just leave
people alone with their grief?

-I guess that's it.

Because this is
such a quiet town,

the whispers can be heard
all the louder --

whispers that are less
concerned with the tragedy

that befell a young woman
than with the grisly souvenirs

collected by a person
or persons unknown.

In Ho-Ho-Kus,

this is Judy Graff
for 8 News Alive.

-May I?

-Yeah. Sure, Ma.

-You've been watching it again.

-I can't help it, Ma.

-This is not healthy for you.
It's not good for you.

-I can't help that, either.

-I don't know, Jeffrey.

Um, you know -- you know
that girl at the supermarket

that I told you about?

She asked for you again today.

Why don't you give her a call?

-I don't want to.

-You don't want to?

You know, it's not right
for you to spend

the rest of your life in here.

Elizabeth's dead.
Life goes on.

I mean, you've got to find
yourself another girl.

-That's what I'm working on.

-Oh, that's what
you're working on?

I don't know, Jeffrey.

Well, you don't find someone
by hiding from the rest

of the world or, keeping
yourself cooped up in here,

or in the garage,
or in that stupid power plant.

Why don't you go back
to medical school?

-Medical schools upset me,
mother.

-And I really thought that,
someday, you could become

a great doctor --
and I mean a great doctor.

I mean, I never thought
that you would throw it all away

for some silly Fuze box, or...

Oh, my God.

Oh, look.

Look.

Look.

You're working fine now.

Oh, Jeffrey, look,
it's so much better.

What is he?

-I'm not sure.

-Oh, Jeffrey.

I'm worried about you.

-Yeah, well, so am I, Ma.

Something's happening to
that I just don't understand.

I can't think straight anymore.

It's like my reasoning is all
twisted and distorted, you know?

I seem to be disassociating
myself from reality

more and more each day.

I'm anti-social.

I'm becoming dangerously amoral.

I've lost the ability

to distinguish
between right from wrong,

good from bad.

I'm scared, Ma.

I mean, I feel like, sometimes,
I'm plunging headfirst

into some kind of black void
of sheer utter madness,

or something.

-Do you want a sandwich?

-No, thanks.

-There's a little egg salad left
in the refrigerator.

I mean, really,
it's no trouble.

No, really,
I'll get my own dinner tonight.

Thank you.

-Okay.

But just...

I don't mean to be a pest,

but could you just
promise me one thing?

-One thing, huh?
Okay, what is it?

-That you won't
stay up all night.

-I promise.

-Goodnight, sweet boy.
[Chuckles]

-Goodnight, Ma.

[Dog barking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

How are you feeling?

Sorry I'm late.

I was talking with my Ma.

You know how she yaps.

Do you feel like
having Italian tonight?

You look radiant tonight,
Elizabeth.

Those baths are doing you
a world of good.

You've got such
a healthy glow now.

You look luminous.

Magnificent.

Wonderful.

Here's to you, to us,
to new beginnings.

Cleanse the palate, now.

There we go. Nice and slow.

That's very good.

That's it.
That's it.

Very good.
Nice and easy.

Very nice. Very tidy.
Very neat.

You like that Beaujolais,
don't you?

I've got big news, honey,

and it's the reason for
the celebration tonight.

There's a storm headed our way,
and it should be here

in about two days,
and I want to be ready for it.

If everything goes as planned --
and it should --

it'll be a whole new look
for you.

As a matter of fact,
it'll be a whole new you.

Let me show you
what I mean.

Hmm?

Isn't she gorgeous?

Maybe a teddy
isn't your style, huh?

Okay.
What do you think?

Honey Pie, can't you picture
yourself in this body,

kneeling on Ma's couch
in the basement?

How about the crawling cat, eh?
How about this model?

A visit to the sweet shop.

I can make you into
anything you want.

I can make you the centerfold
goddess of the century.

I just need the right parts.

But enough excitement.

How about a little dessert?

Something I wrote for you --
a poem.

"Warning: Contents Under
Pressure" by Jeffrey Franken.

"My heart is packed
so full of love for you

that I dreamed I exploded
like aerosol can sometimes do.

I blew with such force
that my bones became shrapnel,

and leveled the town,
except the small chapel.

My teeth flew like bullets.

I didn't know
what was happening.

They killed everyone in sight,
except for the chaplain.

And then, thanks to him,
we were happily wed,

even though, at the time,
I think we were both dead."

The end.

I know it's not the best poem
in the world, but...

...I want you to have it.

Goodnight, Elizabeth.

See you tomorrow.

♪♪

Oh, man,
I'm tearing up already.

I mean, who can resist
that moment

when Jeffrey reads his poem

"Warning: Contents
Under Pressure"

and then places it tenderly
between the toes

of his beloved
disembodied foot

before returning her only two
remaining body parts

to her bubbling vat
of preservative?

Fortunately, you're probably
not going to believe this,

but we have with us tonight
the...

are you the author of the poem

"Warning" Contents
Under Pressure"?

-No. No.

One of the strangest guys
I know --

and I mean that as a compliment,
Frank -- a mad genius,

the inimitable director and
co-writer of "Frankenhooker,"

Mr. Frank Henenlotter.

-Thank you.

[Cheers, applause]

-And before
you answer me, Frank,

you're the only guy
who's had three --

count them, three --
movies on "The Last Drive-in."

And I've been talking about
your movies, now, for...

40 years.

For 40 years I've been
talking about your movies.

I never get tired of them.

Okay.

Well, "Contents Under Pressure"

was completely written
by Bob Martin,

who co-wrote the script with me.
-Okay.

Bob Martin,
founder of Fangoria.

-Yes, absolutely.

And I thought he'd be a great
person to collaborate with.

And he was.
He was just absolutely perfect.

He got the joke
that there were no jokes.

And he just really --
and -- but it was his idea.

He said, "Well, what if --
what if he writes a poem?"

And I thought,
"Oh, God."

And he wrote it.

And I still think
"like aerosol can sometimes do."

You know? I mean, he just --
every -- I didn't touch it.

It was just perfect.

-How did that
collaboration happen?

How did you know Bob Martin?

-Uh...

Well, he had interviewed me
for Fangoria.

-Okay.
-And then...

I asked him
if he'd be interested

in writing a novelization
of "Brain Damage."

-Okay.
-But I said...

you don't have to do the movie.

You can do anything you want.

Just go with, you know.
And he did.

He did a really strange,

"what the fuck is this" kind of,
you know, version of the film.

-Oh. Okay.
I got to read that.

-And it --
You know, and it was --

I was encouraged enough
that I said,

"Listen, let's do a film
together.

Let's write
a script together."

-Okay.
Now, you can't watch the --

-Can I -- you know, can I --
Can I tell you

a funny story about him?
-Okay.

-When we started,
I was wondering

"Where am I going to get
the girls to be the hookers?"

Okay?

So, I figured, "Let me --

Let me start at
Billy's Topless Bar."

A famous bar.
-Oh, yeah.

-So, I go in there.

And I -- I really didn't know
how I was going to do this.

I'm not going to --
what do I, go up to a girl,

going, "Hi. I'm a director.
You want to be my movie?"

You know, I didn't...

But I'm looking around,
and all of a sudden,

I see at the bar,
there's Bob Martin

And I go "Bob" --

-Just hanging out
in Billy's Topless?

-Yeah. And I said, "Bob,
what are you doing here?"

And he had the best line.

He goes, "I'm staring at
the unobtainable."

-[Laughs]

He was great, but he was --
he was -- he was brilliant,

but, you know, kind of a manic
depressive at the same time,

And I think that fueled
his work.

-Yeah.
-You know?

-you can't watch this movie

without thinking about
"Blood Feast" --

the original gore film...

-Yeah.
-...by Herschell Gordon Lewis.

-Yeah.
-I mean...

any -- any debt to
"Blood Feast"?

- Well, well, "Blood Feast"
is always there in my life.

But I did this film
more as a riff on

"The Brain That Wouldn't Die."
-Okay.

-In fact, one of the greatest
moments of my life

was showing it
to Joe Green,

who directed
"The Brain That Wouldn't Die."

-And what did he say?
-Well, he was --

he was a little pissy at first,
because he said,

"Oh, I hear you ripped off
my movie."

And I went, "No. Joe.
Why...?" -- [indistinct].

You know, "Prove it," you know?

And he started laughing.
[Indistinct]

When he got done,
he goes, "Oh,

that's got nothing to do
with my film. That was great."

That's hilarious."
You know?

So, we parted friends.
-Okay. Good.

Um, you know,
several years back,

you and I did a show together --

I don't know
if you remember this --

at the Anthology Film Archives

on the Lower East Side
of Manhattan,

to showcase your documentary,
"The Wizard of Gore."

-Right.
-Which I --

And by the way,
I highly recommend it,

because you can learn everything
you would ever need to know

about Herschell Gordon Lewis
without having to actually watch

Herschell's movies.
-Yeah.

-So, "The Wizard of Gore."

And so, Fuad Ramses,
the maniac Egyptian caterer

does something similar
to what Jeffrey does, on that,

Fuad is going around
Miami Beach,

collecting the body parts
of beautiful women,

some of them hookers.

However, he's a more...

he's a more sinister character
than Jeffrey.

-Oh, yeah.
Oh, Jeffrey's likable.

-Yeah.

-And that was a problem I had
with the script

because I couldn't have him
kill the girls.

The moment he actually killed
any of the hookers,

the script, it's dead.
There's no more comedy.

-Yeah, he would become so
unlikable you wouldn't care.

-So, it was -- it took us
a long while to do it.

And then, I thought --

you know, it was one
of my great inventions.

I said,
"Wait a minute.

Super crack.

Let him create it.

They do it themselves."

And it's hilarious.

And I also always, you know,

would love to have
on my gravestone,

you know, "He killed --

he blew up eight hookers
in a hotel room."

I have to say, Frank,

your body parts are much better
than Herschell's.

And so are your hookers,
by the way.

But Gabe --
Gabe Bartolos

did all the effects work
on this, correct?

-Yep.

-And I know this partly because
he gave an interview

talking about his effects work,
and the interview was filmed

at the Bunny Ranch brothel
in Nevada.

Apparently, Gabe really
knew his hookers.

-Oh, yeah.
That's legit.

-But you had given Gabe
his first job, correct?

-No. No. I gave him --

he was already
working on other films.

But I was the first one
to hire him.

I didn't even know who he was,

but I wanted to hire him
to run the whole show.

-Okay.

-Make it his department
and his everything.

But listen, since you're
talking body parts,

I brought you something.

This is an actual prop
from the film.

-Okay.
-It is one of the...

-Ooh.

-[Stammers]

It's the plate of boobs
that Jeffrey...

-This is amazing.

-And it's -- it stood up
rather nicely.

-Can we use this for the set?
-You can keep it.

-Oh! Can you sign it for us?

-Sure.
-All right.

We got to have you -- you got to
sign Patty Mullen's boob.

-Oh, yeah, maybe. Yeah.

It could have been.
We don't know.

-All right, Frank.

We have many things
to talk about,

and we are going to bring out
James Lorinz later,

to fill us in on
some of the acting choices

that you guys made.

But right now, everybody except
people in Jersey are going,

"What the fuck is wrong
with Jeffrey?"

Because from
the very first scene,

you know something
is wrong with him.

Whereas,
people in Jersey are going,

"Yeah, I know a guy like that.

He lives three streets over,
in Ho-Ho-Kus."

You know, this movie
is actually 42--

you love 42--
the old 42nd Street.

This is actually 42th Street
in its nasty heyday,

but as seen through the eyes
of an outsider -- an innocent.

Actually, just like
in "Basket Case"

42nd Street was seen
through the eyes

of an outsider, an innocent.

And in that case, from upstate
New York, Dwayne Bradley.

So...So, it's -- uh, that's --
you use these observers

to make the observations about
the nasty side of New York.

well, that's why I like
one of the --

one of the hookers calls him,
"Hey, Jersey Boy."

You know, which, you know,
kind of sums it up.

Okay. Back to the movie.

And Jeffrey does live --
in the -- in the script,

Jeffrey lives in Ho-Ho-Kus.

Now, If you've never
been to Jersey,

you hear that, and you think
Frank made that up.

But there really is
a town named "Ho-Ho-Kus,"

which sounds like Santa Claus
hacking up a movie or something.

But the most famous product
of Ho-Ho-Kus is Twisted Sister,

the glam metal band.

Ho-Ho-Kus born and bred.

[Laughs]

Darcy loves it
when I do geography.

That's 600 volts more.

Otherwise,
there's gonna be spider veins,

or I'm gonna get stuck
with a chicken leg.

No, that's...[indistinct].

Now I'm nit-picking.
I got to have more wattage.

Otherwise, I'm not
going to be happy.

I can't.

I don't want to...

I can't feel guilty now.

I don't want to feel guilty now.

I just --
I just want to make life.

I mean, you know,

I just want to bring you back,
Elizabeth, you know?

I mean, in order for you
to live,

I mean, somebody's got to
take your place, you know?

I mean, somebody has to die
for you to live.

I'm getting a cluster headache.

-And as you can see from this
lovely map right here,

we have some very exciting
weather arriving here

in about two days.

More thunder and lightning
and electricity

than you've ever
enjoyed before.

Very spooky. Very spooky.

And just right for you
mad doctors out there.

[Laughs]

-Great.

Two days. Two days.

I got to find a fresh part
in two days.

Okay, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.

I just got to relax. Relax.

The key to this whole thing
is relaxation.

Relax, calm down, and relax.

I can't relax.

I just going to
get radical, here.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Some people need drugs,

Some people need booze.

I just a little
surgical assistance.

[Drill whirs]

♪♪

507.

No. 21.

No. 22.

I got 922.

[Drill whirs]

Okay, I got to get
some stewardesses.

Stewardesses.

I'll take
the Van Wyck Expressway

out to Kennedy Airport.

I'll walk onto the plane.

I got a maintenance
uniform on.

"Girls, uh, there's a screw
loose in the luggage door."

You got to follow me,
and get off the plane.

I got them in the back of a van,

I'll tie them up
with the extension cord.

It's no good.
That's not gonna work.

It's ridiculous.

Nobody's gonna
believe that,

I don't care how stupid
they are.

Okay. All right.

Let me try this again.

We're got to come up
with something, here.

The hole is already bored.

That's it.

Okay. Okay.

♪♪

It's so simple.

If I need female body parts,
then I'll buy female body parts.

And there's a place
across the river

where there thousands of women
anxious to sell their parts,

no questions asked.

Of course,
with the right amount of cash...

I do have
my Christmas Club account.

♪♪

♪♪

Very busy here tonight.

This is like
a smorgasbord, here.

What a buffet.

Now, those legs
are very nice.

Yeah, this -- this might be
easier than I thought.

Oh, my God.
Now, this is -- She's nice.

A little lopsided, though.
-Come on, now.

-She's not gonna work out.

Very nice.

Oh, there's something
very interesting.

I think this is it.

This could be the block.

All right. Okay.
This is it.

I've got it now.
Oh, this is the block.

I'm...

Okay. Right behind.
Nice and easy, now.

Okay.

-Hey, you looking for
some action?

Or a date?

Hey, you, need some company?

Are you lonely?
Come on. Come on.

Hey. Going out?

Want a date? Some action?

Keep you company?
Are you lonely?

-You look --
You look great.

I'm not used to seeing that..

-You're a Jersey boy,
ain't you?

-Yeah. Jersey. I'm right over
the bridge, to the left.

-Well, you just take a couple
of deep breaths, and relax,

and tell me what you want.

I'm looking for a couple of
girls that have the right --

nice parts.

I'm looking for
a lot of good parts.

- Honey, in case
you ain't noticed,

I not only got
all the right parts,

I got 'em in all
the right places.

You got 'em, all right.
You -- You're right.

When you're right,
you're right.

-You got money.

-Money, yeah. Yeah.

I got -- I got --
I got some.

I went to the bank.
-Oh. Whoa.

Now you're talking.

-Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I'm not ready yet.

-Let me in! [Indistinct]

-Will you just stop it?
I'm not ready.

I need a few more girls.

-How many more?

-I don't know.

-[Whistles]

Yo, Amber, come over here.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

What's all the fuss?

-Jersey Boy, here,
wants a twosome.

-No, no, no.
Jersey Boy doesn't want that.

Look, I want to throw a party
for my brother.

He's sick.

I'm gonna need about
six or seven

of the most beautiful girls
you got on his block --

yourselves included.

See, I want to --
I want to have sort of, like,

a beauty contest for him.

-Oh, and you get
the winner, right?

-I'll make a new woman of her.

-It'll cost you.

-Oh, money?
Money's not a problem.

I got money.

-Well, we can get you
all the girls you need.

You better check it out
with Zorro, first.

-Zorro?

-Zorro.
-Zorro.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-I don't want any trouble.

♪♪

-Hey, Spike.
-Hi, honey.

What can I do for you?

-Where's Zorro?

-He went in the back
a while ago.

I ain't seen him since.

-Thanks.

Looks like you need to go
to the men's room.

-I don't have to go.

I left my money
in the car.

♪♪

♪♪

Got ice in the urinals?

All right, coming through.

Coming through. I'm all right.

I'm a doctor.
I got to get back here.

[Indistinct talking]

-[Speaking indistinctly]

[Indistinct]

[Coughing]

-And I've got the power
of Almighty Hell, baby.

-[Speaking indistinctly]

♪♪

♪♪

-Wait here a sec.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Here, Jersey Boy.

-How do you do?

-Zorro, here, will fix you up,
get you everything you need.

See you later, guys.

-The last [indistinct]

-Yeah, it seems like
there's a lot of folks

on it in these parts.

-[Indistinct] tells me
you're holding a party,

you need a lot of girls.

-Yeah, yeah.
Tomorrow night.

-My girls are the best --

the best to look at,
the best of fun.

[Indistinct]

You want the best,
you got to pay.

-Well, you know, I'm sure
we can agree on a price.

-Let's talk business, my friend.

-By the way, how much is one of
those little plastic bags cost?

-One of these?

-Yeah.

-What are you, crazy?

What the hell
are you talking about?

-I am talking about women
controlled by drugs,

and dying from them!

I am talking about women
selling their bodies

because they no longer have
any other choice.

I am talking about human beings
who need protection.

-And you honestly believe
that legalizing prostitution

is going to somehow
magically make

all of these problems
disappear?

-Well, it's a start.
-Oh, and what's next?

Let the government
issue them condoms?

Let the taxpayers
pay for the hotels?

-Don't laugh. Don't laugh.

She's right. She's right.

This crack shit's
killing them!

This super crack will get
the job done a lot quicker --

and without any pain.

Of course,
it may get a bit hot.

-The name of your organization
is Hooker, isn't it?

-It's called "Hold On to Our
Knowledge of Equal Rights."

And if you run that film,

you'll get a hint of what
it's like on the streets

for these women.

-Roll it, Lou.

-Where's the money?

Where's the money, bitch?
Where is it?

Huh? Where's the money?

-I already gave it to you!

I already gave you the money.

-Where is it, huh?

Where is it?

Where's the money? Huh?

Where is the money? Huh?

Where's the money?

You're holding out on me,
bitch!

-[Screams]

All right. Take it easy, now.

Take it easy.

Don't flip out. Don't flip out.
Just relax.

You got to do the drill --
you do the drill,

and you're gonna feel
much better.

[Drill whirs]

[Sighs]

I mean, it's not like
I'm committing murder.

I'm not killing anybody.

The crack is
what's gonna kill him.

Hell, it's killing them already.

I'm just speeding up
the process.

That's all.

I'm not shooting anyone.
I'm not stabbing anyone.

I'm merely gonna place
a lethal form of crack

in their presence.

They don't have to take it.
Nobody has a gun to their head.

If they don't want to do it,
they can just say "no."

The Super Crack is placed on
the preheated hot plate.

Tube into cage.

Now, we begin.

Now, we have a nice cloud.

That's right.
Ooh, look, how sexy you are.

I bet you get $1,000
a night.

Can I buy you a drink?

Is the hotel nearby?
Can we get there by walking?

If you weren't a guinea pig,
I'd jump in that cage myself.

Yes. Come on,
you know the moves.

Those moves are $1,000 moves.

Now, take a nice deep breath.

Oh. Jesus Christ.

This could get ugly.

-Nice exploding guinea pig,
Frank.

You've got a lot of
delightful satire

going on in this movie,

starting with
John Zacherle himself

as the mad scientist weatherman.

I assume that was
a weather report

from inside the mind of Jeffrey.

-No. I just thought he would
be hilarious as a weatherman.

And he even said to me,
"What am I supposed to do?"

I said,
"Just tell the weather

the way Zacherle would."

And he goes, "Oh. Okay.
All right. All right."

And I said -- I said,
"Just throw in the line about,

'Just right for you mad doctors
out there.'"

But he was -- He was great.
He had a lot of --

-What was Zacherle doing
at this time?

I don't really know.
I don't...

-You just called him up,
and said,

"Do you want to be in
the movie?"

-Oh, yeah, well, he had done
the voice of Aylmer

in "Brain Damage," so I already
had a relationship with him.

I love the guy.

And, you know, come on,

I grew up with him
on his TV show.

You know, he was the only guy

that could attract both kids
and their fathers.

to watch the same show,
and laugh at the same jokes.

-Right.
-Wonderful guy.

-And then, you've got
the perfect send-up

of Morton Downey's
talk show.

I don't know how many people
remember Morton Downey's

talk show, back -- back
when you could smoke on TV.

That actor
did a great job,

as did Beverly Bonner

as the representative
of the organization

HOOKER --
reprising her role.

She's the same character she
played in "Basket Case," right?

-Yeah.

-Okay. So, you had a little
stock company by this time?

-Uh, very little.
-Okay.

And then, you put all
the anti-drug rhetoric

into the voice of Jeffrey,

including Nancy Reagan's famous
"Just say no" line,

as he says.
"Crack doesn't kill people.

It's their own personal choice,"
you know?

We don't expect political
subtext in your movies, Frank,

but we get it.

I mean, you know,
yeah, you know,

part of that was...

I used to edit --
the first two films I did,

I edited at a film center
building, Ninth Avenue,

middle of Manhattan --

46th Street,
somewhere around here.

And I'd work late at night.

And, you know, after 11:00,

you're dying to go to
Burger King and get something.

And I would walk there.

And I --
there was one street

that was like a gantlet
of hookers.

-Oh, yeah.
-And they --

And they --
This is all their dialog --

"Going out? Want a date?

Looking for some action?
Need some company?"

I just...
-Okay.

You just put it in the movie.

-It's like New York charm.
I just love it.

And yeah, that's not even
me being satirical.

-That's what it was like.
-Yeah.

-Was that your idea, to say,

"Hey, whenever Jeffrey
needs an idea,

he'll just power-drill
his brain?"

You know, that was the one --
that was one of the things

in the script
that everybody said,

"Frank, you can't do that.
You're going to lose it.

It's not -- It's --
you can't you can't put --

you know,
it's not believable."

And I thought, "Who cares?"

You know, it's --
-It's a satire.

-It's so hysterical.

And, you know,
James played it so perfectly.

I mean --
and you know --

-I think, if there was blood,
it would have ruined it.

-Oh, no, you can't.
No, no, no, no.

That wouldn't have been funny.
-Yeah.

-You know, but he's always
coming up

with additional lines
throughout this thing.

And for years,
I never knew what it meant

when he said --
when he picks it --

he looks at the skull,
and he goes,

"22. Goodnight, 22."

I didn't know what he meant.

Years later, he explained
it was a Bingo term.

-Oh, okay.

Well, you know,
you have that brilliant moment

when he has to readjust the
place that he's power drilling,

because he says something like,
"I need stewardesses,

I need to take the expressway
to JFK."

And and -- And then, he goes.
"Wow, that's stupid."

So, he pulls the power
drill out, and starts over,

and he comes up with,
"Oh, hookers."

-Right, right, right, right.

Oh, it's funny as hell.

I mean, I think almost anything
that is extreme

you can make funny.
-Yeah.

Were all of them
real hookers?

-Well, none of the actresses --

I mean, the girl
that he collects.

But there were scenes where,
when he's driving around.

and you see ladies
of the evening,

-You just picked up those shots
on the street.

-Mm-hmm.
-Okay.

And they got wise
real fast.

Once -- We were shooting outside
an open door of a van.

And once we came by the second
time, they knew who we were.

So, by the third time,
they were already gone.

-Oh, they thought
you were cops?

-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah.

-Was that the Meatpacking
District?

-No, no.
It's where the...

the Intrepid.

-Oh, right up there
by 42nd Street.

-Right.

The lights from the Intrepid
were helping light --

light the street.

-Okay, the the famous
aircraft carrier Intrepid

is just sitting there, and it's
it's illuminated so much

that the the hookers
feel safe there, I guess.

-I just thought
it would have nice

to have some real ones in.

-Yeah. You had actual
illicit prostitution going on.

Well, you're famous
for stealing shots.

Uh, now was --
Now, was that a fun day,

when you created Huevos Grande
Bar and Grill?

That is the most amazing set.

One of the most amazing sets
you ever created.

-That wasn't a set.

[Indistinct talking]

-That was a real bar?

Are you kidding me?

"Big Balls" in Spanish,
that's a real bar?

We put that on the window.

I think that was...

geez, now --
now I'm confused.

It was either up in Harlem
or it was --

I think it was up in Harlem,
but that's a real bar.

-Oh, Okay.
-Yeah.

-But I mean, obviously,
everything inside it...

-It was...

up in Harlem.

There was an overhead.

I don't know, one of those --
I don't know.

But anyway, yeah.

-Did you just say, "Okay, guys,
I want sex and drugs and filth

in every inch of the frame as
Jeffrey moves through that bar?"

-Yeah. That's -- you know,
that was the idea, you know?

-And I'm sure you get asked this
all the time,

but but where did you
find Zorro the Pimp?

-Zorro the Pimp
was in "Brain Damage."

-Oh, he was?

-He's the muscle guy
in the shower.

-Okay.

-And when you need a muscle guy,
you call that guy.

-Yeah. I...I wanted...

I wanted somebody
that looked like,

"Oh, he can't kill him."

[Indistinct]

So, I sent -- [Stammers] --
you know, workers.

I said, "Find me a muscle man."

And she went to the local gym.
And he was great.

He was one of the sweetest guys
to work with.

He was like, the, you know,
no big deal.

-I think those are
his only two roles --

"Brain Damage"
and "Frankenhooker."

-Yeah, I know, and I'd love
to know what happened,

where he is.

But, you know, finding the name,

you know, Jose Gonzales
in the phone book,

there's more than five,
you know what I mean?

I'd love to know
what happened to him,

because she was a sweet guy, and
he was a pleasure to work with,

and a piece of cake, and
everything about him, you know?

-All right.
-And he loved it.

-All right. Well, we just had
a little foreshadowing

with an excellent
exploding guinea pig effect.

So, let's get back to the movie.

And how old were you, Frank,
when you decided

"I'm gonna spend my life

making strange
exploitation movies?"

-I don't know, because
I never thought of it.

You know,
I never planned on it

until I was almost
approaching 30,

or something like that.

-Really?
When you made "Basket Case"?

-Yeah,
-Yeah.

-I never -- never planned on it.
Never...

I never -- you know --
and I still wonder --

-But you grew up on Long Island,
right?

-Yep. In fact, the scene
in "Frankenhooker" --

his house is in Valley Stream,
and I grew up in Lynbrook,

the next door town.

-Okay.
-And when we did that, I had --

all my nephews were there,
and kids watching, you know.

-Did they show nasty movies
on Long Island,

or did you have to come into
the city?

-Oh, no, absolutely.

You had the drive-ins
that were showing it.

And also, the neighborhood
theaters.

Everybody says, "Oh, you know,
seeing Andy Milligan,

it's just got to be
in a grindhouse?"

No, no. The local theaters.

I mean, I'd go to Hempstead,
and, you know,

I'd be seeing --
one of my favorite double bills

was "Shaft,"
"Shaft's Big Score," and --

No, "Slaughter,"
"Slaughter's Rip-Off,"

and "Slaughter Hotel."

-[Laughs]

-The "Slaughter" trilogy.
-Yeah, really.

You know, they were --
they were

they were easy to find
anywhere on Long Island.

They really were.

-I loves that documentary
you did,

"That's Sexploitation!"

about the sex movies that were
made before the porn era.

So, you must have seen
a lot of those.

-No. I saw very little until --

because I'm too young
to get into theater.

And they had a short lifespan,
because they were only...

their only purpose was to show
tits and ass.

And once Hollywood films
started showing it,

you know, they expired.
-Right.

-So it wasn't until
I got involved

with Something Weird
and Mike Vraney,

and the goal was to find
as many of them as possible.

How can we sell
more to like, parties?

We turn them into
like, party discs.

You know, they're so alien

that they make perfect
sense now, you know?

I mean, what's
a nudist camp film?

You know, it was hard to get
a lot of the younger guys

to even wrap their --
watching it, going,

"So what the plot?"

I said, "This isthe plot."

-We were talking recently
about white coaters.

I don't know if you've ever met
Ferd and Beverly Sebastian,

the husband-wife team that made

"'Gator Bait" and
"Rocktober Blood"

and many other
wonderful creations,

but they started out
making white coaters.

"The Love Clinic"
was one of them.

"I Need a Man" was about
an incurable nymphomaniac.

In fact, the white coat doctor
was always trying to cure women

of nymphomania --
unsuccessfully, of course.

-Yeah, no, we cover
that in the doc also.

And, you know,
they're just creepy films.

They're just really --

And they were they were
the birth of hardcore.

Because some of them,
yeah, they're really doing it,

but not enough
to really get the cops there.

But that was
the icebreaker before the porn.

-Yeah.

Well, if you say they're
creepy, Frank, they're creepy.

-Oh, they are very creepy.

[Both laugh]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, Jersey Boy.

♪♪

♪♪

All set?

-All set.

-Hey, girls, listen up.

This here's Jersey Boy.

Dr. Jersey Boy,
but you can call him Jeffrey.

-Jeffrey, this is Angel.
-Hi.

-Crystal.
-Hello.

-Amber, you already met.
-Nice to see you again.

-Anise.
-How do you do?

-Chartreuse.
-A pleasure.

-Snow.
-Hello.

-Sugar and Monkey.

Now, girls, Zorro told you
all about Jeffrey.

It's his party,
and he wants to play doctor.

Now, if Jeffrey wants
anything more than that,

you've got to let me know,

because Jeffrey is a good,
personal friend of Zorro's,

and he's getting a special rate.

Understood?
-Yes, ma'am.

-Okay, doc, how you want
to work this?

-Uh...

Well, let's start
with the legs, shall we?

Oh, this is...Oh.

This is excellent.

This is a perfect 18
in diameter.

-Uh-huh.

♪♪

-Now, this is --

This is unfortunate,
and so crude.

-Honey, you ain't seen nothing.

Wait till you see
the one on my groin.

-Hmm.

Ahh!

♪♪

Awesome.

Utterly awesome.

Nice buoyancy, too.

Ah, gout-free.

Fine.

-Want to take my temperature,
doc?

I bet you've got
a big thermometer.

-[Laughs]

-This metaforus gland
is almost perfect.

-They're yours if you
want them, doc.

-If I divide by pi...

Okay, just hold still.

Ahh.

This reminds me
of the St. Louis Arch.

♪♪

Excellent.

♪♪

Oh, this is fine.

Very good.

Oh, very nice.

These look good.

And clean-shaven, too.

Very nice.

Ah, now these are very nice.

I like these very much.

I will need some more voltage,
but I could get this to work.

-You can use her,
but she's got a rash.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, listen to me!

-Hey, Zorro, what's up?

-Just waiting for my bitches.

This should be down
in a few minutes.

-Oh, good.

-Jeffrey,
we only got a few minutes

before we hit the streets.

Have you found
your perfect woman yet?

Look, Zorro says you're allowed
30 minutes to go pick,

but you got to pick,
'cause the rest of us got to go.

-[Sighs]

-I can't.

I can't pick.

Look, I'm sorry.

You're all very nice.

You've been very nice,
but I can't do it.

I can't go through with this.

I'm not even sure
that this would work.

Oh, God, Elizabeth.

-What the hell
is he talking about?

-And who the fuck is Elizabeth?

-Are we getting paid?

-Listen, Jersey Boy,,
you got the money?

-Money, huh?
You're talking about money?

I'm talking about human life.

You want money? Here.

Here. Here you go.

Here, take the goddamn money.

Don't you see what
I'm trying to do?

What do you think's
been going on here?

Yeah, everybody
play with the money.

Play with the dirty money.

-Whoa.

Oh, shit. What's this?

Holy shit, it's gems!

It's so many gems!

Holy shit, it's gems!

-Wait, put that back.

That's supposed to be
for the winner!

-Look at this, girls!
The party ain't over yet!

[Screams]

-Give me that!
That's dangerous!

-Jeffrey, you devil!

[Overlapping shouting]

-Give it to me!

Give us that!

Girls, get him!
-Let me up!

Let me up!
-No!

-Let me up!
-No!

Look what we got!

[Screaming]

♪♪

[Women screaming]

♪♪

-Don't smoke it! Listen to me!
I'm telling you the truth!

[Laughing]

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh, we need some music!
-Yeah!

[Music plays]

♪♪

-♪ Never say never ♪

-No, not the devil's music!

Turn it off. It's no good!

It's a deadly mixture, please!

It's telling you to do things
you shouldn't be doing!

-♪ Safe sex is for wimps ♪

♪♪

♪ Anyone who drives sober ♪

-Girls, please,
don't smoke that!

I'm telling you,
it's not what you think!

-♪ Always carry a gun ♪

-I'm telling you,
don't do it, please.

Put that lighter out!

♪♪

♪♪

Please! There are programs
you can check into!

You can get off!

-♪ Never say no ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Never say no ♪

♪♪

♪ Never say no ♪

-Stop that! That's not natural!

Wait a minute!

For crying out loud,
you're like cats with catnip.

Just stop that!

Your body wasn't meant
to do that!

-Them hoes are fucking with me.

It's just gone on too long!

-Don't do it!

You're gonna die!

♪♪

-Whoa.

Oh, God.
-She's gonna blow.

She's gonna blow!

Duck and cover!
-Isn't it awfully hot in here?

[Screaming]

♪♪

-Take it easy!

[Explosion]

[Screaming]

♪♪

The manager!

[Coughing]

Oh, my God!

[Coughs, explosion]

[Screaming]

[Explosion]

[Screaming from within]

-Yo! Jeffrey!
Move it out!

Open up!
Open up!

Open up! Open up!

Open up this Goddamned door!

Amber! Open up!

Open the door!
Let me in.

Open the door!
I'm gonna knock this door down!

[Explosion]

[Thuds]

What the fuck?!

What the fuck is
goin' on in there?!

♪♪

-Oh! Oh, the humanity.

It's crashing.
It's burning.

I'm sorry!

-Jeffrey?

You little scumbag!

[Explosion]

[Screaming, thud]

♪♪

-Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Oh Jesus!

[Sparks]
Oh, I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!
Everybody I'm sorry!

I didn't mean
for this to happen.

It was an accident.
Look...

I want... I want to apologize
to everybody here, please.

I'm gonna put everyone
back together.

I promise you!

Well, first I'm going to put
Elizabeth back together

because that's... that's the
whole point of this.

And then I'm gonna take care
of everybody.

I'm gonna get to everybody.

Just take it easy.

First we're gonna take
a little trip to New Jersey.

It's just right over the bridge.

I've got an estrogen-based
blood serum there.

It's gonna do wonders for you.

It'll make you feel
like little girls again.

Just trust me.
Alright?

Just be quiet, relax...
It's gonna be alright.

Oh, we're gonna get
another shoe.

Alright.
Oh Jesus.

Chinese girl.

Alright, okay.

I'm gonna get new clothes.

Just relax.

This is well done.

Alright.

It's a close shave.

-And of course, Jeffrey
has a weakness for fishnets.

So the last thing he takes
with him down the fire escape

is a fishnet leg,
with the high heels still on it.

Oh, the humanity, you know,
Frank, I hope you're proud

of probably the best exploding
hooker sequence in film history,

not just one exploding hooker,

a whole symphony of exploding
hoes raining down body parts

on the Sultry Arms,

which is the name
of the hotel

where Zorro sets up Jeffrey's
hooker examination headquarters.

Are you proud of yourself
for that?

-Completely. It's the one
sequence of all my films

that I can watch endlessly.

-Where was the Sultry Arms?

-Oh, I don't know.

-Maybe a studio?

-You mean the interior?

-I guess --
-We built all that.

-Yeah, okay.
-That's all a set that we built.

The exterior, I'm not sure.
I think we just hung up a sign,

I don't really remember.
-Okay.

-But the interior was all a, uh,

a set that we built, and I was
telling them before,

remember the guy in the little
booth who's -- and he goes,

"Oh, sweet mother of pearl!"

-Yeah.

-When the film was playing
midnights at

the Bleecker Street Cinema,
I was walking past theater

one night
and I see him and I thought,

"Oh," he goes, "Oh, I was just
watching the movie again.

It's my third time."

I said, "Isn't it still on?"
He goes,

"Yeah, but I walked out, I don't
like the movie, I just like me."

[Laughter]

Thank you!

-Well, you very --
you very definitely

excuse Jeffrey
by making it clear

that he did not give the super
crack to the prostitutes.

They found it on their own --

that had to be a conscious
writing this.

-With a "Reefer Madness" scene
with the hands,

you know, all clawing up at it,
yeah, yeah.

-And -- and it was the middle
of a crack epidemic,

right -- in New York,
at the time?

-Absolutely, absolutely.

I mean, it was so bad.
It really was.

I -- when I was filming
"Brain Damage," you would --

[Sighs]

We were on a street where
the railroad tracks

were on one side -- it was 33rd,

and the hookers would meet in
the cars, you know.

So I'd come in in the morning.

And there were two sound effects
under my feet,

used condoms and crack vials.

And sometimes I'd open the door
to go in

and there'd be a lost hooker
in there and I'd say,

"Oh, you know, the sun is
already up."

"Oh my God, really?
What time is it?"

"Well, it's 7:30, I mean..."

"Oh, my God, I got to go!"

You know, it was --
it was horrible.

-It was bad. Yeah.

Okay, well,
we should bring James out

because I think everybody
can see by now

that the glue holding
this whole story together

is the performance of

James Lorinz as
Jeffrey Franken.

And so come on out, Jeffrey!
I mean, James!

-Hello, hello,
how are you?

-Oh! James, what did you think
when you first read the script?

Very first time
you read the script?

-Well, speaking of glue --
-Yeah?

-I was sniffing quite
a bit of it after reading.

I didn't, uh...
I didn't know what it was about,

you know, a quick story:

Frank saw me in film I was in
called "Street Trash,"

which was --
-Oh, "Street Trash"!

We loved "Street Trash"!
-I see a bottle of Viper

over here!
-Yeah, we had -- [laughing]

-And so he called me one night.

I don't even know
how he got my phone number.

I was -- I answered the phone
and he said,

"My name is Frank Henenlotter,
I'm working on a film called

'Frankenhooker,' I'd like you to
be involved,"

and he hung up.

And I never heard
from him again.

And about a year later,

I was called for an audition
to go to read for the --

for the part, and --
-Really? I didn't --

I already had you cast.
I didn't need you to read.

-Well, I --
-Okay.

-Well, I got a casting couch
and everything I did for this.

Well, I'm glad I got it.
-Yes.

-Were you r-- I mean, when you
first read the script,

you read the part that says
"Jeffrey probes his own brain

with a power drill,"
and you went,

Oh, yeah, I got a preparation
for that, I got that nailed.

-That's -- that's actually
one of the only things

that I didn't understand,
really.

And I remember going
in your office and I said,

I don't I don't understand
what is he doing?

Why -- why am I drilling myself
in the head, wouldn't I be dead?

And...
And he just kept saying,

Oh no, no, no, it's funny.
You'll be --

You'll be great at it.
Don't worry about

-It's acupuncture.
-That's it.

-It's advanced acupuncture.
That's all it was.

-What was your
acting background at the time

when you got this part?

-Well, not much.
I, you know,

I had just started out,

I was in film school
for a few years

and I dropped out to pursue
acting -- School of Visual Arts.

And I had the part
in "Street Trash,"

and I had done
some off-off-Broadway theater.

And -- but then right after
that, after "Frankenhooker,"

I, you know, started working
a little bit more.

-Frank, I think
you're the only guy

who ever watch "Street Trash"
and thought,

"What talent!
I've got to use all these actors

from 'Street Trash'!"

-Well, you know, I --
the first version I saw

was just for -- to raise --

I think it was just
select scenes from it,

so I thought -- I said to
Jim Muro who directed it,

I said," You got you got
the greatest leading man.

This is a winner."
-That's true.

And he said, "Well, you know,
he's really only in

a small part," and I said,
"Big mistake!

Put him dead center."

Yeah, but it was too late.
It was already...

-Obviously the right decision,
because, James,

you absolutely sell
this character

and more than half
of your dialog

is soliloquies -- you're
talking to yourself!

And -- and they're not
"Hamlet" soliloquies!

You're talking about,

you know, taking
the Van Wyck to JFK

to kill stewardesses
and stuff like that.

How do you do that?

How do you -- how do you act
alone like that

in a script like this?

-I had to spend a lot of time
on the set alone,

and it was -- it was very
unnerving sometimes

because, you know, there was --
there was a lot of exposition

and -- and, you know,
me walking around, and I got,

I guess it could have been
just nerves or whatever.

And I just started muttering
around and -- and, you know,

a lot of people think I --
this was improvised.

Well, yes and no, because after
a while, I think Frank said,

"All right. Well, if he's going
to do that," you know,

so he was directing
my improvisations, and luckily,

we had some of the same
sense of humor

and references,
so, you know, he would say,

"All right, do this one,
get rid of that one,"

you know, and then we would just
sort of --

Because I think that
that helps bring some --

this is not a nice guy.

I, you know,
he's not a nice human being.

I mean, you think about

he wants to bring
his girlfriend back to life,

but he wants a better
looking woman, you know?

-Right?
-So how do you, you know?

Well, you know, maybe if you
introduce a little bit of,

you know,
he's really not all there,

but you know,
he's really not a bad guy

because, you know...
-But the things --

So the things
you're muttering

as you prepare the part
are things

that actually end up
in the movie?

-Yes. Yeah. Well, you know,
I, uh,

I have a a racing mind.
-Okay.

You're a New Yorker, right?
-Yes.

-And this is
a very New York movie,

and maybe both of you
can talk about this --

what was going on
in New York in the '80s

that created a whole genre
of kind of dark, dirty,

crime-ridden,
cynical horror movies?

You had "Maniac,"
you had "Driller Killer,"

you had "Street Trash,"
you had, um, you had,

"Ms .45," I mean, there's --
there's probably 20 of them.

And yours, Frank, are actually
the lightest ones.

-Yeah.
-I mean, because you use humor

so often in your storytelling.

But what was going on
in New York City that, you know,

because you probably
didn't notice it at the time,

but now we look back on it,
we say,

Wow, there's sort of
a school of dirty,

grimy New York filmmaking
from -- from 1980 to 1990.

-No, I didn't notice it.

I mean, I was so deep
into 42nd Street culture.

-Yeah.
-And you know, it didn't --

you know, in Times Square,
it was all a slow evolution

into a dirty pit.

And you know,
and like we said before,

the crack epidemic really,
really overwhelmed the city.

I mean, it was hard to believe
that it was that extreme.

-Yeah, but -- but here we are

watching exploitation
comedies about it.

So --
-Yeah, and it was still --

-James, you were in two of --

-There were still a --
-Two of those classics.

-Still a lot of crime then.
-Very lucky.

-And by the way, you know,
the, uh --

I brought Joe Bob the, uh --
a boob,

I brought something from you.

These are your glasses
from the film.

-Oh, yes!
Yes, I remember these.

Well, what do you know?
-Have you not seen those

since 1989?
-No, no, these aren't the --

these are your glasses.
-Yeah, they used to be.

Now they're yours.
-I remember that was the, uh --

you gave them to me and you say,
"Here's your disguise."

[Laughter]

I can't see anything.

-Did you watch
the movie in the theater?

James? Did it play
on 42nd Street?

-No, it never did.
-No?

-No.
-I mean, look, it was

perfect film made for
42nd Street, never played there.

-Really?
-Yeah.

-Did you watch it
in the theater, though?

-No, I don't watch my --
-Never watched it with --

with an audience?

-No, I never did
until a film festival in Brazil.

-Really? Okay.
-Yeah.

-All right. Well, let's go back
to the movie.

What's interesting, James,
is that even though

you're -- you're the pervert
in every scene,

you don't really come across
as a pervert.

You come across as like a kid
with his first

"Playboy" magazine
or something, you know?

-Well, that's what
a professional pervert does.

[Laughter]

You -- you try to go about it
as innocently as possible.

And that's how you, you know...

-You know, on the day
when you were crawling around

a room examining hookers' legs
and choosing the best breasts

and put -- and putting
check marks on their butts.

-Well, that...
-Was that a fun day?

-No! No, no.
-No?

-Everybody thinks, Oh, you were
with all these half naked girls,

and it was actually
very stressful, you know,

because there was a lot of, uh,

well, there's a lot of
testosterone

in the room at the time.

And, you know, there's a lot
of physical activity happening,

especially when
they're going for the crack.

And I got nine girls on top
of me, and, you know, it was --

it --
-I feel so sorry for you, James.

-It's hard work.

-And let's face it,
it's not, uh...

-You know, it's like,
let me make this comparison.

It's like
a Busby Berkeley musical,

but it's filtered through
the mind of Frank Henenlotter.

-Oh, that's great.
Yeah.

-Well, I mean,
he was pretty out there,

if you watch some of them.
-That's true.

He was a little bit of
a pervert, wasn't he?

-Yeah. Yeah.
"By a Waterfall,"

the lesbian waterfall.
Oh, my God.

-You know, there's a picture
that appeared in

"Time" magazine at the --
at the time, this was one of

the first films, I believe,
to get the NC-17 rating.

And so there was
an article on it

and the picture that they used
for the article

about what it was me crawling
through the legs

with the glasses on, you know,
with the fishnet stockings.

-We never got an NC-17.
We didn't take any rating

-That makes it look
like an old Russ Meyer

Peeping Tom movie, though

-It was -- well, yes, yes.

But there was --
well, there was some --

it had something to do about --

Maybe that's what it was, that
films are not being rated.

-Who cares? I mean --

-Look, I don't want
any trouble, I just want to

bring up the idea that it was
wasn't, you know?

-Yeah, and the marketing was
brilliant because you had this,

you had this box where --

-That's all James Glickenhaus.
-If you press the, uh --

It doesn't work anymore,
but if you pressed this,

it would say,
"Want a date?"

-Yeah, he --
James Glickenhaus

pulled off the greatest
William Castle gimmick,

you know, that was
ever done on home video,

and that's it.
-And these are probably worth,

if you can find
one that works --

-Well, the batteries are past
their expiry --

expiration date,
but I remember -- you remember

the place called Video Shack

that was used to be --
first store in Manhattan

that just sold only tapes.

Yeah, and the upstairs
was the new release thing.

And they think,
well, I'm in the store one day,

and all I hear is,
"Want a date? Want a date?"

That was people pressing
the button,

that's all they were doing!
"Want a date? Want a date?

Want a date?" Oh! You know...

Just creepy.

-That's how much
they loved the movie.

-Well, they loved the box.
That's what it was, you know?

♪♪

Engine rumbling, brakes squeal]

♪♪

[Thunder rumbling]
-Holy Jesus!

I gotta work fast.

Not usable.

It's like a man's hand.

Look at this...
This is...

I think we have it.

♪♪

♪♪

[Welder zapping]

Okay.

Too soft.

Okay. What's this?
These? No!

No good.
Mutt and Jeff.

Alright, these two?

Maybe.
Wait a minute.

Them!
Alright.

Okay.

Alright.

Where are they?

Where are the perfect ones?

Just stand there!

How the hell did
that get in there?

Alright.
Ah, now this is...

This is what
I'm talking about now!

Here it is.
Okay!

We got it.

Nice.

Oh, my God.

Bunions!

♪♪

[Rasping]

[Blows]

♪♪

[Sighs]

♪♪

Now, just one final detail.

♪♪

♪♪

Well...

This is it, Elizabeth.

This is the moment
we've been waiting for.

♪♪

Just give me
a couple of seconds.

♪♪

♪♪

Okay.

It's alright.

That's good.

Now just relax!

Gonna get to each
and every one of you

as soon as I can,
just like I promised.

It's alright.

That's it. Oh!
Okay!

There...

♪♪

But tonight belongs
to Elizabeth.

♪♪

Oh, God, Elizabeth...

I love you so much.

I hope I'm doing
the right thing.

I mean...

I know that things will never
be the same again...

as before, but...

I mean, who knows?
Maybe...

Maybe it'll be better.
I don't know.

But I do know I'll have you
back with me.

And I'll never let anything
ever hurt you again.

I promise.

For as long as I live
you'll be safe.

♪♪

Whoop! Whoa, whoa!
Okay. It's alright.

No harm done.
Everything's okay.

No blood.
Nothing's broken.

[Thunder crashing]

[Electricity crackling]

It's time.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Powering up]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Good luck!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Electricity crackling]

[Zapping, buzzing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Yells]

♪♪

♪♪

[Pulsing]

♪♪

[Grunting]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Elizabeth?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Elizabeth!

-Want a date?

Going out?

Looking for some action?

Need some company?

-No, wait, wait huh?
It's...

It's Jeffrey. Jeffrey.
-Got any money?

-Money? No, I don't...
I don't have any money.

[Rock music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Muffled screams, banging]

-Oh, my God!
-It's a girl!

-Oh!

[Passengers murmuring]

[Elizabeth snarls]

[Shudders]

-Elizabeth?

Elizabeth!

Where are you?

Oh, my God!

Elizabeth!!

[Muttering
What did she want a date for?

What did she want to have
a date for?

She wants money.
She wants my money.

Oh, my God, no.

Oh no, no.
No. Wait a minute.

You're not gonna go back there!

Elizabeth!

♪♪

♪♪

[Starts engine]

♪♪

♪♪

-Want a date? You going out?
-Uh, no thanks.

I'm on my way home,
but thanks anyway, I, uh --

[Grunts, garbage cans clatter]

-Well, well.
Look at the lady in purple.

What's rockin' you?

-You looking for some action?

-Hey, get your hands off me,
babe!

[Screams, tires squeal]

[Camera shutter clicking]

-Need some company?
Lonely?

Got any money?

[All shout]

Jeffrey! We've only got a few
minutes left

before we hit the streets.

Have you found
your perfect woman yet?

-Whoa! Yes!
God, yes!

Yes! Take me! Yes!

♪♪

-Holy...

-Are you a Pisces?
I love Pisces!

Where are you taking me?

Oh! Oh! Oh! I know this place!
I know this place!

I love this place!

I've been here before!

Oh, yes! Yes, yes!

Yes, oh, yes, yeah!

We'd like a room.

...like a room.
-Oh, sweet mother of pearl!

-Look! Zorro said you have 30
minutes with the gal you pick,

but you gotta pick, 'cause
the rest of us gotta go!

-Whoa! Ha!
This is great!

I love that!

She's so anxious!

Wait!
I've got the key.

Don't start without me.

Boy, oh, boy!

Better! Bed?

Whoa!
[Laughs]

That's great!
I love it, I love it!

This is terrific!
Do...

Do more.
Do more!

-Okay, girls!
Listen up!

This here is Jersey Boy.

Doctor Jersey Boy.

But you can call him Jeffrey.

-You wanna play doctor?!
Doctor! I love doctor!

Me Doctor, You Nurse!

[Laughing]

Oh!
This is great!

What a great idea.

Paging Dr. Jeffrey!

Paging
Dr. Jeffrey!

[Groaning]

♪♪

Oh, mother...

♪♪

Oh, yes!
Yes!

Oh!

[Elizabeth moaning]

-Oh, Jeffrey! Jeffrey!

Ooh! Oh!
Don't be selfish, lover!

Hold 'em still.
Give it here!

[Moaning]
Jeffrey!

Jumbo heaven!

-Isn't it sort of hot in here?

Aahh!

-Oh! Oh!
All Right!

[Arcing, man groaning]

[Screams]

[Explosion]

Ohh...
That was wonderful.

-And we just saw the complete
performance of David Lipman

as the bald-headed John
and all of his good luck

to have been chosen
by a purple bra sutured hooker

in platform shoes.

David is a character actor

better known as
the Miracle Whip Man,

because he was in a series
of Miracle Whip commercials

in the '80s.

Frank, is it true that
when Patty Mullen

leaves a message
on your voicemail even today,

she says, "Want a date?
Need some action?

Want some company?"

-Yeah, unfortunately, I don't
have the answering machine

anymore, it finally died.

I can't replace it,
but it was this great antique

and she would never --
she'd never say,

"Hi, Frank, this is Patty."

It was always,
"Going out? Want a date?

Looking for some action?"

-Well, we're 56 minutes
into the movie

before we actually see
Frankenhooker,

but she -- she gets
right down to business,

exploding the clients.

So, um, so Frank,

the super crack
can explode people,

but apparently sex
with Frankenhooker

can also explode people.

-Yeah, I think
that's the idea.

-Clarify the science
on that for us.

-I have no idea.

I just thought it'd be fun
if she's electrically charged.

-Okay.
-That whoever does her

gets electrically charged,

I mean, they're just --
it's hilarious to have a hooker

that actually blows people up.
-Okay.

-You know, I mean, she was born
of the birth of

explosions, right?

-Okay.
-You know, so, what the hell?

-And Jeffrey, when you see
Frankenhooker

for the first time --
you're beloved Elizabeth --

the way you played it,
is she --

is she beautiful to you when
you see her for the first time?

-Oh, that's a good question.
Yes.

-She is until she opens
her mouth.

-Even with the sutures
and everything?

-I don't mind that stuff,
but it's her personality

that's gone, you know?
-Right, right.

-She only repeats the lines

that you've heard
the other hooker say.

-Right.
-She doesn't have an original

line until the very end.

-Yeah. Okay, Frank,

Patty Mullen was a Penthouse
Pet of the Year.

-Yeah,.
-But she only made two movies

in her career --
she made this movie

and a movie called
"Doom Asylum."

So tell me --
tell me how you met her.

Why -- how you cast --
cast her?

-I wanted the girl next door.
-Okay.

-So there was a contrast
to her becoming a hooker.

Okay? And I mean, I --
when --

you know, somebody said,
"Oh, Patty Mullen,

and she's a Penthouse Pet,"
I remember going,

"Oh, God," I just thought
she's not going to be right.

And she walked in it and I
thought, "You're perfect!"

I mean, really just perfect,
and that's what I wanted.

And she was -- because I wanted
that sweet innocence that gets,

you know, I guess,
corrupted at the end.

-Yeah. Staten Island girl
from -- from -- she --

she could be from
the neighborhood, right?

-Yeah! Absolutely.
-So a lot of people comment

on this --
in the opening scenes,

she's supposed to be obese.

-Heavy-ish.
-Heavy.

And -- and people don't notice
it because the fat s--

it's -- the fat suit
is not...

-It didn't, you know --
-Quite bit enough.

-It didn't -- you didn't see
the fat on the face.

-So they're making -- they're
making jokes about, you know,

she needs to lose weight,
but you don't really...

-Yeah, yeah.
I mean, eh...

You know.

I mean, we would have had --
-Low budget.

-For that to --
for that to work,

we really needed a, you know,
a double chin.

-Okay.
-And, you know...

And I knew about it,

discussed it with Gabe,
and he just looked at me like,

"I'm overloaded as it is,"
you know?

-Oh, Gabe didn't
want to do it.

-Well, he would have done it,

but we just, we realized
it's going to take time.

It's going to be this, it's
gonna -- you know.

-Okay.
-You know, I mean, I could live

with a -- with a plot point
that wasn't perfect.

-Okay, I got to ask you two
more things before I let you go.

I would -- I would never speak
ill of the dead.

Okay? But Richard Heffner
passed away recently,

and he was the chief censor
at the MPAA

who wanted to give you
the "S" for "Shit" rating.

-Right.
-And -- but you ended up

not changing
a single thing, right?

-No, well, we -- we rejected
any rating from them.

In other words, you know,
the answer was,

"Go fuck yourself.
We're putting it on."

However...

Shapiro-Glickenhaus
Entertainment

wanted an R-rated version
to sell in video stores.

So there was an R-rated version,
and --

-You couldn't put an unrated
version in video store?

-We could, but it's --
some markets you couldn't.

-Okay.
-You know, some Blockbusters

you couldn't,
and I I don't know how much of

the R-rated version was sold.

I don't know.
-Okay.

-But there was --
-You had to make cuts

to get it down to an R?
-And extensive cuts too!

-Really?
-I mean, really, you know what?

You know, most of the cuts,
believe it or not,

were him doing the, uh --
with all the girls in the room!

-Yeah.
-You know, I'm thinking,

what, he's measuring her tits?
We have to cut that?

What, no kid has ever been
in a film before.

I mean, every R-rated movie!
Stop it! What are you doing?

-No tit has ever
been measured!

-Yeah! Right, right, right!

So it would, you know,
they were and are

an impossible organization.
-Yeah.

-I mean, they're just
a front for the majors,

and it it's just, you know,
the best thing to do

is just -- just completely
ignore them, and that's that.

-After this,
you made "Basket Case 2."

Pretty soon after this.

-We shot -- "Basket Case 2"
and "Frankenhooker"

were basically shot
back-to-back.

-Okay.
-In fact, Gabe's effects crew

were already working on
the creatures

for "Basket Case 3" while we
were doing "Frankenhooker,"

and all the sets were designed

to be turned into sets
for "Basket Case 2."

So, like, Jeffrey's lab
was raised,

you know, for the liquid
to come down and get --

But it was also the attic set
in "Basket Case 2"

because we had to get the
puppeteers underneath it.

-Okay.
-One of the puppeteers from

"Basket Case 2," believe it or
not, was my mother.

She came by the set.

They brought her in
and she's operate--

Anyway. Well, it's a creepy
story, you know?

I mean, I'm thinking,
"My mother's under there

doing that?" Okay.
-And then a couple of years

after that,
you make "Basket Case 3."

-One year after, yeah, yeah.
-One year after that.

But then there was
a 17 year hiatus, Frank --

-Right.
-Before you made "Bad Biology."

-Right.
-Now, as your fans

and your friends, and all of the
people who watch the show

are your fans -- why don't we
have 20 more

Frank Henenlotter
to enjoy?

-Well, the market
drastically changed.

I couldn't get the money.

I mean, SGE went
out of business short.

-Shapiro-Glickenhaus,
which made "Frankenhooker."

-Yeah, because Jim wanted it --
and I also wanted to do more...

kind of weirder,
experimental stuff.

You know, I didn't want to make
the same kind of films thing,

but it was pointless anyway

because no one would have
given me a check.

And you know, I would --

I tried for a while,
and I would, you know,

I had these different ideas
and I would pitch the idea

and they would say,
"Well, that's interesting,

but what we'd really want is
'Basket Case 4'."

-Okay.
Did you ever go out to L.A.?

Did you ever spend time
out there tryin' to --

-Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah.
-Yeah? And no?

You couldn't get anything.
-No, but I had --

one of them, one of my ideas,
I wanted to do

a remake of "Thir13en Ghosts."
-Really?

-Yeah! And they would say --
-Frank Henenlotter remake

of "Thir13en Ghosts"?
We're there!

-Yeah, yeah.
And one of the ghosts

was going to be
a stripper ghost.

-Okay.
-You know, and I -- but...

You know, you know,
there was a guy at Columbia

and he had the VHS
on his desk looking like,

I don't know, it was supposed
to be threatened by it.

And he goes, "I watched this
film and it's terrible."

I said, "That's why we're going
to remake it!"

-"Oh, okay."

-It's true. Why do they always
remake films that are great?

It's like they should take
a film that's not quite there

and remake it better, right?
-Yeah.

So it was --

I realized I'm facing a dead end
here, and I just didn't --

And I would also get
requests, you know,

scripts sent to me,
and they were all slasher films,

even well past the expiration
date of slasher films.

-Okay.
-And I said, Well, you know,

all right, can I --
"No, don't change anything."

Well... it's not what I'm
interested in.

Fortunately, then I got involved
with Something Weird,

so at least I was still not
making the exploitation films

but dregging them up from --

-Right, you became one of
the leading curators

of, uh, of forgotten films

because of --
you and Something Weird Video.

-And nobody really got --
understood what we were doing.

I mean, there was still
a lot of, like,

"What are these films?
They're just tits and stuff?"

I'm thinking, "Yeah!"

You know, "That's great!"

When do you see this today?
-Yeah.

You guys put out
a lot of good stuff.

-I was happy doing that
and not --

I didn't even think about going
back to making films

until R.A. the Rugged Man,
R.A. Thorburn, says to me,

"You know, if I get some money,
you want to make another movie?"

And I went, "I don't know,
what -- like what?"

And "How much can" --

I said, well, if we can do it
in 35, I said,

but look, if we do,

I want to make something
that is really too extreme.

You know, if I'm
going to come back,

let's -- let's do something
that --

and goes, "Yeah!"
So we did.

-So you -- so you made
"Bad Biology."

Yeah. All right.

James, thank God you got rid of
Frankenhooker's bunions.

Good --
Good job with that scene.

Thank you both for being here.

Darcy, our mail girl, has
cosplayed Frankenhooker

probably more than
any other person in the world.

-Oh, that's great, that's great.
-But now we're going to go

to the rather surprising
conclusion of...

"Frankenhooker,"
so roll the film.

I love the fact that you twisted
this at the end, so...

And you had a fortune,
by your standards,

to make this film, right?

-Oh, hell yeah, yeah.

Jim gave us $3 million to make
two movies back to back.

-Okay, and for you,
that was a lot.

-Oh, hell yeah.
-'Cause your first one

was $30,000 or something?
-$35,000.

-$35,000.
-And that extra $5,000

made a difference.
-Okay.

-You know, we had -- we had
the money to get the effects

and make the photography look
good and 35mm, and yeah.

-But you didn't waste
any of that $3 million

because you were still stealing
those shots in Times Square.

Right?
-Why not?

-Um, that's actually
an iconic shot,

when Frankenhooker
comes out of the subway,

-I know, I know, it's like
coming out of the grave

-People use it all the time.

And what's great about it
is nobody really notices --

to me, that's what
makes the shot work.

Nobody in New York notices,
just another New Yorker.

-Yeah, yeah!
-Coming up out of the subway.

-You know, for years people
thought Rutger Hauer did that,

uh, did a cameo
in the film.

-Oh, the Swede.
-Yeah!

-You know, "What are you,
some kind of Swede?"

Isn't that your --
isn't that your line?

-That was ad libbed.

And -- but for years I'd read
that, you know,

Rutger --
that was Rutger Hauer.

No.
-No. It was some guy in

"A Chorus Line," right?
It was some --

It was some Norwegian guy.

-I don't think -- I don't think
he was really Norwegian, was he.

-Well, he had an accent
that sounded like it was.

-Well, maybe it was.
I don't know, you know.

-Well, that's the --
that's -- that's another

one of the surreal moments
in the film,

"What are you,
some kind of Swede?"

I don't know what it means,
but it was funny.

-Well, it's actually --
it's a --

it's an homage
to my friend, Victor.

We used to call him the Swede
because he had like light hair,

so that was
his little shout out.

-All right. Thanks, guys.
This has been wonderful.

-Thank you.
-All right.

♪♪

[Hip hop playing
from boombox]

[Honking]

-Hey, excuse me, excuse me!

Listen, I'm looking for
a very tall, attractive woman,

she's purple, she's got
fresh scars on her.

Excuse me, pal, I'm looking
for a tall, attractive girl.

She's got a sexy
purple outfit on.

She's got a scar on her neck.
She's very sick.

-Scumbag, bah!

-Hey, excuse me. Please, you got
to help me out here,

I'm looking for my girlfriend,
she's very sick,

I got to get her medicine.

She's -- she's tall,
she's got -- she's purple,

she's got some -- some scars
on her, a purple outfit.

Have you seen him around here?
-Oh, ja!

[Foreign]

-What are you talking about?!

What are you,
some kind of a Swede?!

You're talking to me in Swedish
in Times Square!

Elizabeth!

-Hey!
Hey, doll face.

How about those Mets?

Well, actually, I'm not too fond
of organized sports.

More of a one-on-one type guy,

I kind of prefer a certain...
"indoor sport,"

you know what I mean?

How about if I, uh,
my tongue down your throat?

♪♪

[Gasping, screaming]

♪♪

-Huh...

-Fifty bucks, just like that!

You look at some company
this evening?

What's happenin', sugar?

-Listen, girls,
I need some help.

-Oh, I'm sure I can help you.
-I know I can.

-No, I'm looking for a tall
purple girl.

She's got a black forearm
and fresh stitches --

-We got handcuffs, whips,
enemas, dildos, racks,

chain-link, barbed wire...
and feathers.

-She's also got a tattoo
on our arm,

it's a Z in a circle.

-That's one of Zorro's girls.

They're all gone!
-They're dead!

-No, they're not --
-Fuck off!

-They're coming back!
They're going to be back

in a couple of weeks.
-What do you know about this?

Huh? What do you fucking know
about this?

What are you dressed
like that for, man?

-Do the right thing?
-Did you do the fucking

right thing?!
That's the question!

Did you do the right thing?
-I gotta get back,

we're goin' to the hospital now,
I gotta go to my emergency room.

-I'll put you in the fuckin'
emergency room.

What are you, a fucking sick
son of a bitch?! Huh?!

-Party! Party!
Wanna party?

Jersey Boy here
want's a twosome!

Lonely?

Need some company?

Goin' out?

Want a date?

-I said -- oh!
-Party!

Got any money?

-Hey...

[Yelps]

-No, no, no, no,
they didn't leave!

They didn't go nowhere.
They just blew up!

-Blew up?
-Fucking exploded!

One minute they're my bitches,
the next,

there's pieces all over!

-Well, when -- when a man loses
his hoes,

he loses everything!

-I didn't lose a man!

They just blew up!

-Oh!

-I saw it happen, man.

-Hey, Zorro,
I'll catch you later.

That's enough with you and them,
uh, explodin' bitches.

-Holy shit, girls,

it's Johns!
Super Johns!

A whole shit-load of Johns!

-[Titters]

-One of these days,
I'm going to get sick

and tired of this shit and let
one of you punks win.

[Thud, man groans]

-Hey, Spike!

-What the hell is that?

-[Inhales sharply]

[Ominous music]

-Well, hello baby!

-Pretzels good!

-Hey, babe!
For your own good...

Go easy on those pretzels.

-[Snarling]

-Now, I know that I never
saw you here before,

because I would have most surely
remembered.

-Are you gonna
take my temperature, Doc?

I bet you got a big thermometer!

-Ooh, baby!

I just loves a woman
who knows what she wants!

-Hey, girls.
Listen up!

This here is Jersey Boy.
Doctor Jersey Boy.

But you can call him Jeffrey.

Zorro told you all
about Jeffrey.

It's his party and he wants
to play doctor.

-Party, yeah!
Hey, babe...

There's way to many freaks
in this joint.

Hows about if you and I
just skip out,

to some place a little more...
Intimate.

-Look, Zorro said you had 30
minutes with the gal you pick.

But you gotta pick
'cause the rest of us gotta go.

-Whatever baby.

Look...
Why don't you and I...

We can sit right over here.

-Are we gettin' paid?

♪♪

[Indistinct chatter]

[Rock music in background]

-Oh, baby...

It's not right...

A woman like you...

You're...

Beautiful.

Unprotected.

All alone
in a city like this.

There's sharks all around.

Folks who could just as easily
prey upon a woman

as unusual as you.

A woman so distinctively
different.

Somebody's gotta take care
of you.

Somebody like me,
who can protect you.

Somebody who'll understand
your needs,

your...big bazooms!

-Honey, in case
you ain't noticed,

I not only got
all the right parts,

but I got 'em in all
the right places!

-Oh, I noticed!
Ooh, I noticed!

Oh, I noticed.

I noticed, I noticed,
I noticed!

I noticed!
Don't I know!

[Muffled]

-Ooh, honey!
Look at Miss Thang!

[Muffled groaning]

♪♪

[Arcing]

-Anyone got a stem?

[Arcing, explosion]

[Screaming]

-Whore of Babylon
the great!

Mother of Harlots and
abominations of the earth!

I will show unto thee
the judgment of the great whore,

the woman arrayed
in purple and scarlet.

Kings of the earth
have committed fornications

and lived illicitly with her.

They shall wail and lament

when they see
the smoke of her burning.

-So, you've seen her?

-She's in the bar!

-God bless.

-Who the fuck are you?!

How come you know about me
and Jersey Boy?!

This ain't your tattoo!

This ain't your arm!
Where'd you get this arm?!

This is one of my bitch's arm!

Who the fuck are you?!

[Screaming]

[Electricity crackling]

[Screaming continues]

-Let me through!
I'm a Doctor.

Alright?
Let me through.

Just step to the side.

Take it easy.
It's like...

It's like a soccer game.

Elizabeth!

Elizabeth?!

-Jersey Boy.

-Jesus Christ, Elizabeth.

I didn't bring you back
to have you hang out

in a joint like this.

Now come on.
We're going home.

Let's go.

[Patrons coughing]

-I told you! I told you!
-Okay, come on.

Just put one --
I know.

One step in front of the other.
That's right!

-Yes! I told you!

-I know you did.
-I told you!

-I told you!
-Don't bump your head.

That's right.
Nice and easy.

-Yes! I told you!

-I know you did.

Okay.
Thank you!

-I told you!
-That's a good man.

-Yes! Yes! I told you!
-Thank you.

-I told you! I told you!

[Coughing, retching]

-Spilled my Goddamn drink.

-Taxi!

♪♪

-Oh, God, Elizabeth.

I didn't want things
to turn out this way.

I didn't want you
to turn out this way.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Elizabeth, please!

♪♪

♪♪

[Powers down]

♪♪

Elizabeth,
I know you're not a hooker.

You're not a hooker, Elizabeth.

You're not!
You're not!

-Of course I'm not.

Why in the world would you ever
say anything like that, Jeffrey?

-Elizabeth.
Elizabeth, is that you?

-What are we doing here?

What happened to mom
and dad and the party?

I...I...

-You don't remember?

-The lawnmower! Oh, God,
what's happened to me?

-You were -- you were gone.

-A coma?

-Worse.

-Dead?

-I brought you back, Elizabeth.

I brought you back to life.
-How?

-Oh, a bunch of things, I got it
all written down over there.

-This is fantastic.

This is incredible.
What a miracle.

You have to share this
with the rest of the world.

-No, it's half a miracle.

I-I -- my blood serum
is estrogen-based.

I mean, I can only
bring back women.

-Oh, we're just think of

how many people you can save,
Jeffrey.

I'm so proud of you.

So very, very proud of you.

These aren't my arms.

This isn't my hand.

These aren't my legs.
This isn't my breast.

Look at me!
What have you done?

-Take it easy, all right,
just calm down.

I can explain everything.

I had to make a few changes.
That's all.

There wasn't enough of you left
to fry an egg with.

-I feel so strange as if there
were so many different

women inside of me.
-All right.

Maybe I had to do a few
unorthodox things but, you know,

things didn't turn out so bad.

I mean, I love you. I love you.

And you're alive.
And I love you, Elizabeth.

Now, more than ever,
I love you.

And we're going to spend
the rest of our lives together,

me and you.

-[Screaming]

Oh, God! Why did you do this?
Who are you?

-No, no, no, the question is,
who are you

and from what I've been
hearing your ass is mine.

I'm taking possession
right now.

You hear me, Honey?
You hear me, Crystal?

You hear me, Angel?

Chartreuse, Snow, Sugar,
Monkey?

I know you're in there.
Every one of you!

Well, Zorro's here to take
care of you again,

and Zorro knows
what you need to get

in the right state of mind --

some of this sweet, sweet rock.

[Gurgling, indistinct voices]

What the fuck?

[Indistinct voices continue]

[Breathing heavily]

[Laughter]

[Whining]

-Oh, shit, get the fuck
away from me.

[Laughter]

Get the fuck away from me!

[Squeaking]

Aah!

[Screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Anybody got a stamp?

[Laughing]

♪♪

-Jeffrey, I have an idea.

Jeffrey?

Yoo-hoo! Wake up.

You awake?

-Elizabeth.
-Jeffrey!

What happened?

-Some man named Zorro
came by here.

-Zorro? Here.

-Yes. Jeffrey, you were --
you were gone.

-Dead? How did -- what...

-Well, you have very good notes.

And of course,
I used living parts.

-Living parts? What do you mean,
living parts?

Holy shit. That's not my hand.

What are these boobs?

Elizabeth,
what did you do to me?

-I can explain, obviously,

since your serum only works
on female body parts.

I couldn't reuse your old body
or even Zorro.

So naturally,
I had to make changes.

-No, look, where's my Johnson?

What does it do to me,
Elizabeth?

-Granted, what I did
may have been a bit unorthodox,

but hey, you look great

and you're alive
and you're back with me

and I love you.

I love you, Jeffrey,
and we're together again,

all of us.
-Together again.

-Together again.

-Oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, aah, aah!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

♪♪

-I just want to mention,
again,

that surreal moment in that
last series of great scenes

when Jeffrey goes looking
for Elizabeth

and he's at
that subway entrance.

And he accosts the guy
who talks to him in Swedish.

And he says, "What are you,
some kind of Swede?"

And in that one little moment,

the reason -- the reason
I brought it up

is you see through
to the madness of Jeffrey,

but you also see through
to the sort of theater

of the absurd of the movie
itself that -- we looked it up,

that that was Eivind Harum
as the Swede,

actually a Norwegian who was
a cast member

in "A Chorus Line."

I don't remember
how he got into the movie.

I don't think
Frank does either.

But there's that moment
and then the moment

when the street preacher
says, She's in the bar,"

meaning the whore of Babylon
is in the bar,

but also Frankenhooker,

reinforcing the absurdity
of this environment.

That's partly New York City
in 1989 and partly Jeffrey's

New Jersey imagination
of what New York City is like.

And one more little fact.

The butch bartender,
that's Shirley Stoler,

who is infamous for starring
in "The Honeymoon Killers."

Okay, come on over, Darcy.

-Want a date?

-You do that too well.

-Got any money?
[Laughter]

-I love this cosplay.
You do this better than anybody.

-Need some company?

[Laughter]

-Darcy, you've been --

you're the leading
Frankenhooker cosplayer

for at least 10 years now.

-Hmm.
-[Laughs]

-I'm honored --

I'm honored that you agreed
to do it on the show.

-Want a date? Got any money?
Need some company?

-You love this movie, don't you?
Have a seat. Have a seat.

That final sequence...

where the hooker body parts
come to life

and kill Zorro, the pimp,

that's reminiscent of those
special effects in "Society"

and in "Bride of Re-Animator,"
but those movies

and a lot more budget
than the 1.5 million

that Frank was working with
for this one.

So you had Frank
on your podcast, right?

-Yeah, he was amazing.

-Well, I think
we've successfully

ruined Valentine's Day
for everybody.

-Yes. And it was great.

-Okay.
And it's time for some mail.

Did you bring some mail?
You got some mail for me?

-I do. Got any money?
-[Laughs]

-Tonight's letter is
from Zach Hall of Nashville.

-Okay.

"Dear Joe Bob and Darcy,
my name is Zach,

"and I've been a fan
since 'Monster Vision' on TNT.

"When I found you --

"when I found you came back
to Shudder, I was elated.

"I was going through a divorce
in the middle of a pandemic.

"I had sort of given up,

"and YouTube gave me friends
to watch films with

"that I hadn't been able to
watch for years.

"Going into 2021

"I was patiently waiting
for the new season

"when I caught COVID, myself.

"I watched the last season again
telling myself I'd be okay.

"Luckily, I made it safely,
then two weeks after,

"my father passed suddenly away
from a heart attack.

"I lost another person

"within the same year
as my divorce. I was broken.

I didn't know what to do."

You gave me a serious letter.

"I passed through
my days aimlessly

"until you did
your Valentine's special.

"I joined the Mutant Family
Facebook group

"to chat while I watched,

"and it was then that I realized
why I've been a fan for so long.

"You gave me friends
and someone to watch movies

"I wanted to watch with.

"I didn't feel alone.
I felt like I belonged.

"Soon after,

"a spur of the moment I drove
from Nashville

"to the Days of the Dead
convention in Atlanta

"to meet both of you.

"I was the weird guy with
the hose attached to his mask

"who sort of blurted
all my thoughts at once

"due to being awestruck
meeting you both.

"Darcy became
my favorite mail girl.

"Sorry, Rusty,

"due to her kindness,

"even though
I was late for her Valentine's,

"she went out of her way
to send me one.

"And Joe Bob,
you forever made me feel okay

"watching the movies I enjoyed
instead of taking the teasing

"and bullying
that I grew up with.

"Friday double features
are a bright point for me

"because 2020/2021
have taken a lot from me

"and for many others.

"Thank you so much, both of you,
for everything you do.

"You're both loved and adored.
The drive-in will never die.

Thank you, Zach Hall,
Nashville, Tennessee."

Well, Darcy, I mean this --
this is all about you.

You do that,

you know, you do all that
social media stuff like with --

you do have love
and affection for our fans.

-They're like part of a family.
-He is part of the family.

But you, yeah, I don't talk.

I don't say positive things
about you enough

and you do that --

you do that social media stuff
so well that we do have a family

and we feel close to our fans
and they feel close to us.

And that's that's all your work.
So thank you very much.

-Got any money?

-You got big plans
for Valentine's Day?

Are you going to be reproducing
the orgiastic feast

of Lupercalia in Hollywood?

You actually live in Hollywood?
-Very close.

-Are there going to be revels
in the wood hood?

-In the wood hood?

-Isn't that what
they call neighborhoods

in Hollywood? Wood hoods?

-No, they do not.

But yes, there will be revels.
I mean, have you met me?

-All right. Did you send out --

you sent out Bloody Valentine's
this year?

-Do you even look at Twitter?
Yes, of course.

-I do.

I mean, you're much more popular
on Twitter than I am.

I guess you're saying
I should have been --

I should've noticed
all the people

posting their special Valentine
from Darcy on Twitter.

-Don't worry, I'm all over it.

-Okay, everybody go to Darcy's
house for Valentine's Day.

There will be revels.

-Don't say that.

-What I will say is,
I'm Joe Bob Briggs

reminding you
to always consider Conway's law.

Do you know
what Conway's law is?

-I'm afraid
you're about to tell me.

-Conway's law is
in every organization

there is one person
who knows what's going on.

That person must be fired.

And the drive-in
will never die.

♪♪

You know, speaking of sex
and orgies on Halloween,

I just joined a sex club.

-You did?
-Yes, I'm a throbbing member.

[Laughter]

Okay, I apologize for that.

Photographer
goes to a haunted castle.

-You're going to try again
after that one?

-Yeah. The photographer
is trying to get a picture

of a ghost that just appears
once every hundred years.

So the photographer sits
in the dark until midnight.

And sure enough,
the ghost not only shows up,

but he turns out to be friendly

and even says
he'll pose for the picture.

So the photographer
puts his camera on flash,

and he takes the picture
and he runs home to his computer

because he wants to put it out
on social media.

And there's nothing there.

The photo is completely blank.

And you know why?

Because the spirit was willing,
but the flash was weak.

-You do not have
enough money...

-Should have stuck
with the throbbing member?

-Yes. Yes.
-Okay.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ Sometimes love is hard ♪

♪ Electrifies the mind
and tosses us aside ♪

♪ Other times love
brings us together ♪

♪ A beautiful attempt to fall,
an undead life ♪

♪ I miss the days when it was
just you and me ♪

♪ But now I'm heading there
of my misery ♪

♪ Oh, never say never ♪

♪ Purple pleasure ♪

♪ Stay here forever ♪

♪ Let's have an adventure ♪

♪ Try to remember ♪

♪ Our last endeavor ♪

♪ Pull me whenever ♪

♪ Put me back together,
my sweet ♪

♪ Sweet love professor ♪

-♪ We are drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like
other people ♪

-♪ Other people ♪

-♪ We are sick ♪
-♪ Sick ♪

-♪ We are disgusting ♪
-♪ Disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

-♪ Vomit meter ♪

-♪ We'd be off the scale ♪

-♪ Off the scale ♪

-♪ As long as one drive-in
remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party
like jungle animals ♪

♪♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪