Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,414 --> 00:00:08,461
[rock music]
2
00:00:08,548 --> 00:00:11,247
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:12,988 --> 00:00:15,425
This is gonna be cool.
4
00:00:15,512 --> 00:00:18,994
[chuckling]
We're gonna egg a house.
5
00:00:19,081 --> 00:00:20,604
[chuckling]
- Yeah, it's gonna be cool.
6
00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:22,214
Yeah.
[chuckling]
7
00:00:22,301 --> 00:00:24,913
But, um, like,
which house should we egg?
8
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,523
[indistinct yelling]
9
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,352
Uh, not this one.
10
00:00:29,439 --> 00:00:32,660
Whoever lives here is cool.
[chuckling]
11
00:00:32,747 --> 00:00:34,749
[dog barking]
12
00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:38,100
Yeah, not this one either.
These guys kick ass.
13
00:00:38,187 --> 00:00:39,536
[chuckling]
- They sure do, Beavis.
14
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:40,929
[chuckling]
15
00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:46,369
Whoa, now,
whoever lives here sucks.
16
00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:49,328
Beavis, I think
we have a winner.
17
00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:52,201
Yeah, yeah,
let's egg it, yeah.
18
00:00:52,288 --> 00:00:54,725
Okay, Beavis,
when I count to three,
19
00:00:54,812 --> 00:00:57,206
let's throw these eggs.
20
00:00:57,293 --> 00:00:59,512
Uh, go.
21
00:00:59,599 --> 00:01:00,296
[both grunting]
22
00:01:00,383 --> 00:01:02,646
[both chuckling]
23
00:01:02,733 --> 00:01:04,866
- Yeah.
- [chuckling]
24
00:01:06,998 --> 00:01:08,217
- [grunts]
- [chuckling]
25
00:01:08,304 --> 00:01:09,435
Damn it.
26
00:01:11,786 --> 00:01:13,352
Ugh, damn it!
[chuckling]
27
00:01:15,572 --> 00:01:16,965
Ah!
28
00:01:17,052 --> 00:01:18,270
Beavis, you dumbass.
29
00:01:18,357 --> 00:01:20,142
You got in the way
of my perfect throw.
30
00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:23,188
[chuckling]
- [grunts]
31
00:01:23,275 --> 00:01:24,842
I'll show you
how it's done, Beavis.
32
00:01:24,929 --> 00:01:27,279
Check this out.
[chuckling]
33
00:01:27,366 --> 00:01:27,976
[grunts]
34
00:01:29,325 --> 00:01:31,153
Ah!
35
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,503
Damn it.
Throwing sucks.
36
00:01:33,590 --> 00:01:34,243
[chuckling]
37
00:01:35,810 --> 00:01:39,901
[humming melody]
38
00:01:39,988 --> 00:01:42,686
♪ I'm in my prime, optimist ♪
39
00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:44,340
Butt-Head: Uh, I think
40
00:01:44,427 --> 00:01:45,994
she's supposed to be,
like, Pinocchio,
41
00:01:46,081 --> 00:01:48,648
but when she lies,
her butt grows bigger.
42
00:01:48,736 --> 00:01:50,128
[chuckling]
43
00:01:50,215 --> 00:01:51,869
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
44
00:01:51,956 --> 00:01:54,437
She been doing a whole lot
of lying.
45
00:01:54,524 --> 00:01:57,005
You know what I'm saying?
[chuckling]
46
00:01:57,092 --> 00:01:58,571
♪ ♪
47
00:01:58,658 --> 00:02:00,095
I wish, when I lied,
48
00:02:00,182 --> 00:02:02,053
my schlong would grow bigger
'cause then I'd be like,
49
00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:04,273
"Hey, baby."
[chuckling]
50
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,710
"I have a gigantic schlong."
[chuckling]
51
00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:09,974
And I'd be lying, but then
my schlong would get bigger
52
00:02:10,061 --> 00:02:12,020
because I'm lying, see?
53
00:02:12,107 --> 00:02:13,630
And then it would be true, though,
54
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,328
so, um, I don't know
if it shrinks again or--
55
00:02:16,415 --> 00:02:17,808
I don't know how that works,
you know?
56
00:02:17,895 --> 00:02:20,071
I don't know what
the Pinocchio rules are.
57
00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:22,421
You know?
[chuckling]
58
00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:24,206
Yeah, maybe it would just,
like, start growing
59
00:02:24,293 --> 00:02:25,903
and shrinking back and forth,
you know, like,
60
00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:28,253
'cause, um, 'cause it grows,
and then I'm not lying,
61
00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:29,777
and then it shrinks
since I'm lying,
62
00:02:29,864 --> 00:02:31,648
and then, you know,
it just goes back and forth.
63
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,955
It's kind of going "boing,
oing, boing, boing, boing."
64
00:02:34,042 --> 00:02:35,391
[chuckling]
65
00:02:35,478 --> 00:02:37,045
And then I wouldn't even
need the chick, you know?
66
00:02:37,132 --> 00:02:39,134
I could just have my schlong
do all the work, you know?
67
00:02:39,221 --> 00:02:40,700
[chuckling]
68
00:02:40,788 --> 00:02:42,006
And I wouldn't need
my hands either.
69
00:02:42,093 --> 00:02:43,921
[chuckling]
70
00:02:44,008 --> 00:02:46,924
Can go eat lunch or something.
You know, go about my business.
71
00:02:47,011 --> 00:02:48,404
You know?
[chuckling]
72
00:02:48,491 --> 00:02:49,840
Maybe take up a new hobby,
you know,
73
00:02:49,927 --> 00:02:52,364
like, um, like, um...
74
00:02:52,451 --> 00:02:53,844
uh, like spanking my--
oh, no, never mind.
75
00:02:53,931 --> 00:02:55,411
[chuckling]
76
00:02:55,498 --> 00:02:56,891
That was
quite a ride, Beavis.
77
00:02:56,978 --> 00:02:58,414
[chuckling]
78
00:02:58,501 --> 00:03:00,546
I guess what I'm saying,
though, is, like, um,
79
00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:03,245
is I wish I could lie a lot
and have a big schlong.
80
00:03:03,332 --> 00:03:04,986
That's all.
[chuckling]
81
00:03:05,073 --> 00:03:08,728
That would rule.
[chuckling]
82
00:03:08,816 --> 00:03:11,557
Uh, you know,
they really should
83
00:03:11,644 --> 00:03:14,212
make a "Schlongnocchio" movie.
[chuckling]
84
00:03:14,299 --> 00:03:15,561
'Cause then, like,
Jimmy Cricket
85
00:03:15,648 --> 00:03:18,173
can get it on with Tinkerbell,
and then Peter Pan
86
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:19,957
can grant him a real schlong,
87
00:03:20,044 --> 00:03:21,872
and they can all ride off
on Dumbo.
88
00:03:21,959 --> 00:03:23,874
[chuckling]
89
00:03:23,961 --> 00:03:26,137
Beavis: [chuckling]
90
00:03:26,224 --> 00:03:28,009
Butt-Head: And then
that cricket can be like,
91
00:03:28,096 --> 00:03:32,056
"Uh, hey, Tinkerbell,
wanna see my seventh leg?"
92
00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:34,102
[chuckling]
93
00:03:34,189 --> 00:03:35,538
[chuckling]
Yeah.
94
00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:38,019
"Hey, Tinkerbell, hey,
how'd you like to see
95
00:03:38,106 --> 00:03:40,499
something that always grows up?
You know what I'm saying?"
96
00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:43,024
[chuckling]
97
00:03:43,111 --> 00:03:45,113
♪ If that bitch gets slick,
I'll cut the bitch ♪
98
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,377
Uh, okay, Beavis,
I have an idea for a game.
99
00:03:48,464 --> 00:03:50,248
[chuckling]
100
00:03:50,335 --> 00:03:53,121
Every time she says, "bitch,"
I get to smack you.
101
00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:54,731
[chuckling]
- No way!
102
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,516
Why would I do that?
[chuckling]
103
00:03:57,603 --> 00:03:59,649
Butt-Head:
Uh, okay, how about this?
104
00:03:59,736 --> 00:04:02,260
Every time she says "butt,"
you can smack me.
105
00:04:02,347 --> 00:04:04,567
Uh, okay, yeah, I mean,
106
00:04:04,654 --> 00:04:06,482
she is the queen of butts.
[chuckling]
107
00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:07,962
Your funeral.
[chuckling]
108
00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:12,053
Now let the games begin.
[chuckling]
109
00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:13,315
♪ I'll cut up the bitch ♪
110
00:04:13,402 --> 00:04:14,969
♪ I'll gut the bitch ♪
111
00:04:15,056 --> 00:04:16,535
♪ Had to fuck up the bitch ♪
- Ah! Wait, I--
112
00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:17,667
Ah! Okay, okay.
- ♪ Fuck the bitch ♪
113
00:04:17,754 --> 00:04:19,060
I can't hear
when you're smacking me!
114
00:04:19,147 --> 00:04:20,452
Ah!
Wait, I think--
115
00:04:20,539 --> 00:04:21,453
- [grunts]
- Hold on!
116
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:23,455
Why did I--
ah, ah, ow!
117
00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:25,588
I can--ah!
Hey!
118
00:04:25,675 --> 00:04:27,024
- ♪ Cut up the bitch ♪
- [screams]
119
00:04:27,111 --> 00:04:28,373
♪ Get the combination
to the safe ♪
120
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:29,853
♪ And drug the bitch ♪
- I win.
121
00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:32,987
[chuckling]
- Ah, ah!
122
00:04:33,074 --> 00:04:34,684
Damn it.
[chuckling]
123
00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:36,381
I did not think she
would say "bitch" so much
124
00:04:36,468 --> 00:04:38,035
when I agree--
ah!
125
00:04:38,122 --> 00:04:40,559
Wait, Butt-Head, you can't
smack me when I say it!
126
00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:42,997
Son of a bitch.
Oh, wait, don't--ah!
127
00:04:43,084 --> 00:04:44,259
[chuckling]
128
00:04:44,346 --> 00:04:45,564
Damn it, this game sucks.
129
00:04:48,524 --> 00:04:51,919
Uh, damn it,
we're out of eggs.
130
00:04:52,006 --> 00:04:53,355
Where are we gonna get
more eggs
131
00:04:53,442 --> 00:04:55,792
to throw at this dumbass house?
[chuckling]
132
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,620
Uh...
133
00:04:57,707 --> 00:04:59,404
[doorbell rings]
134
00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:02,103
Well, hello.
135
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,801
Uh, hello.
136
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,629
We, like, need some eggs.
137
00:05:06,716 --> 00:05:08,848
Yeah, a lot of 'em.
Please, yeah.
138
00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:11,025
Eggs?
Of course.
139
00:05:11,112 --> 00:05:13,549
Happy to help.
- [chuckles]
140
00:05:13,636 --> 00:05:15,116
Reminds me of the old days
when a neighbor
141
00:05:15,203 --> 00:05:16,813
would ask for a cup of sugar.
142
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,077
Um, okay.
Give us a cup of sugar too.
143
00:05:20,164 --> 00:05:21,035
- Yeah.
- [chuckling]
144
00:05:21,122 --> 00:05:23,080
Sure, no problem.
145
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:25,213
So what grade
are you boys in?
146
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:28,564
Uh, we don't know.
[chuckling]
147
00:05:28,651 --> 00:05:30,435
I know what you mean.
148
00:05:30,522 --> 00:05:32,655
It all goes by so fast,
doesn't it?
149
00:05:32,742 --> 00:05:35,397
Uh, no?
150
00:05:35,484 --> 00:05:37,790
Nope.
[chuckling]
151
00:05:37,877 --> 00:05:41,011
There you go, boys. Enjoy.
152
00:05:41,098 --> 00:05:43,579
Bye, boys.
You come back anytime now.
153
00:05:43,666 --> 00:05:45,146
Nah.
[chuckling]
154
00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:50,455
- Oh, yeah.
- [chuckling]
155
00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:54,242
That sugar really hit the spot.
- Yeah, yeah, sure did, yeah.
156
00:05:54,329 --> 00:05:56,157
You know, they should put this
in food and stuff.
157
00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:57,767
Yeah.
- Yeah, I wish.
158
00:05:57,854 --> 00:05:59,029
[chuckling]
159
00:05:59,116 --> 00:06:00,900
Now let's go egg
those buttholes.
160
00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:02,163
Yeah!
[chuckling]
161
00:06:03,816 --> 00:06:05,644
Okay, let's kick 'em
this time.
162
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:08,038
Yeah, yeah, throwing sucks.
[chuckling]
163
00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:11,259
[both grunting]
164
00:06:14,175 --> 00:06:15,654
Damn eggs.
Ugh!
165
00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:17,830
Ah!
166
00:06:17,917 --> 00:06:21,138
Uh, did we get any eggs
on the house?
167
00:06:21,225 --> 00:06:23,401
I think so. Um...
168
00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:26,752
eh, no, I don't think so.
[chuckling]
169
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,363
Damn it.
[chuckling]
170
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:30,669
All right, Beavis,
I have another idea.
171
00:06:30,756 --> 00:06:32,932
Now follow me.
[chuckling]
172
00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:35,065
Um, what is it?
173
00:06:35,152 --> 00:06:37,502
Uh, I don't know.
174
00:06:42,594 --> 00:06:45,162
Okay, Beavis, we're gonna
toilet paper their house.
175
00:06:45,249 --> 00:06:46,729
Yeah, yeah,
because they suck.
176
00:06:46,816 --> 00:06:49,253
[chuckling]
177
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:53,040
This'll teach them a lesson.
Okay, here we go, Beavis.
178
00:06:53,127 --> 00:06:54,911
[chuckling]
[grunts]
179
00:07:00,134 --> 00:07:01,483
Yes!
180
00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:04,181
They're gonna be so pissed off. Yeah.
181
00:07:04,268 --> 00:07:06,009
No, they're not, dumbass.
182
00:07:06,096 --> 00:07:08,272
The toilet paper
went down the sewer.
183
00:07:08,359 --> 00:07:11,275
Oh, yeah, yeah,
so it did, yeah.
184
00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:12,407
Damn it.
185
00:07:12,494 --> 00:07:14,365
Now we gotta get
more toilet paper.
186
00:07:14,452 --> 00:07:15,801
Where?
187
00:07:15,888 --> 00:07:18,282
[doorbell rings]
188
00:07:18,369 --> 00:07:20,067
Hello.
189
00:07:20,154 --> 00:07:22,634
Uh, we need toilet paper.
190
00:07:22,721 --> 00:07:24,332
[both chuckling]
191
00:07:24,419 --> 00:07:26,551
Sure, boys, always happy
to help a neighbor.
192
00:07:26,638 --> 00:07:30,120
Um, and we need a lot
because I poop too much.
193
00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:32,557
He sure does.
[chuckling]
194
00:07:32,644 --> 00:07:35,212
You know, all that talk
of eggs and sugar last time
195
00:07:35,299 --> 00:07:38,607
put me in the mood for baking,
and I made some cookies.
196
00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:40,087
Whoa.
197
00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:44,874
Well, they sure appreciate
your baking, honey.
198
00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:47,050
Put more sugar in next time.
199
00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:48,747
Yeah, yeah, have you heard
of that stuff?
200
00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:51,141
Really good, yeah.
201
00:07:51,228 --> 00:07:52,664
- Toilet paper.
- Yes!
202
00:07:52,751 --> 00:07:54,144
Yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
203
00:07:54,231 --> 00:07:55,754
It's about time.
[chuckling]
204
00:07:55,841 --> 00:07:57,974
Such good boys.
205
00:07:59,584 --> 00:08:02,152
[both chuckling]
206
00:08:07,462 --> 00:08:10,813
We did it, Butt-Head!
We did it, yeah!
207
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,424
Let me guess.
You guys did that?
208
00:08:13,511 --> 00:08:16,297
- Yeah, we sure did.
- Yeah, it's toilet paper.
209
00:08:16,384 --> 00:08:17,602
[chuckling]
210
00:08:17,689 --> 00:08:19,735
Real smart to TP a house
211
00:08:19,822 --> 00:08:22,346
when there's a nationwide
toilet paper shortage going on.
212
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,524
Um, what?
[chuckling]
213
00:08:26,611 --> 00:08:28,526
There's no toilet paper
in the stores right now
214
00:08:28,613 --> 00:08:31,225
because of the supply chain, genius.
215
00:08:31,312 --> 00:08:33,009
It's called following the news?
216
00:08:38,449 --> 00:08:40,756
Eh, this sucks.
[chuckling]
217
00:08:40,843 --> 00:08:43,193
Wait a minute, Beavis,
I just thought of something.
218
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,108
If we get
our toilet paper back,
219
00:08:45,195 --> 00:08:47,284
we can sell it
and, like, be rich.
220
00:08:47,371 --> 00:08:49,243
Whoa!
221
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:52,420
- Damn it.
- [grunting]
222
00:08:53,943 --> 00:08:55,205
[doorbell rings]
223
00:08:57,251 --> 00:09:00,689
Uh, we got toilet paper.
224
00:09:00,776 --> 00:09:03,387
Yeah, yeah, check it out.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
225
00:09:03,474 --> 00:09:04,997
[chuckling]
226
00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:06,303
You can use it on your butt,
you know,
227
00:09:06,390 --> 00:09:08,697
or blow your nose or something.
228
00:09:08,784 --> 00:09:10,612
Wow.
229
00:09:10,699 --> 00:09:12,875
For you boys to clean up
after some bad kids
230
00:09:12,962 --> 00:09:17,009
threw toilet paper on our home,
it's wonderful.
231
00:09:17,096 --> 00:09:19,229
Thank you.
- Yes.
232
00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:20,752
This is the nicest thing
anyone's done for us
233
00:09:20,839 --> 00:09:21,971
in a long while.
234
00:09:22,058 --> 00:09:24,800
Uh, what?
235
00:09:24,887 --> 00:09:27,324
Diane and I were never able
to have children
236
00:09:27,411 --> 00:09:31,633
of our own, but if we had,
we'd sure like to think
237
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,156
they'd be something like you.
238
00:09:34,723 --> 00:09:36,681
Do you want the toilet paper
or not?
239
00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:39,641
Yeah, it's, like,
brand-new or something.
240
00:09:39,728 --> 00:09:41,991
Yeah, nobody wiped
their butt on it,
241
00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:44,123
not even once.
[chuckling]
242
00:09:44,211 --> 00:09:46,169
We'll throw this out for you.
243
00:09:46,256 --> 00:09:49,259
Thank you.
Thanks again.
244
00:09:49,346 --> 00:09:52,262
- Ugh, damn it.
- That sucks.
245
00:09:52,349 --> 00:09:53,785
They just stole
our toilet paper.
246
00:09:53,872 --> 00:09:55,613
[chuckling]
247
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,050
Well, I did wipe my butt
on some of it, you know,
248
00:09:58,137 --> 00:09:59,878
if I'm gonna be honest.
[chuckling]
249
00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:02,533
We should, like,
smear shaving cream everywhere
250
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:05,188
to prank those buttholes.
- Yeah, good idea.
251
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:07,408
Yeah.
[chuckling]
252
00:10:07,495 --> 00:10:10,411
Um, where do we get
shaving cream though?
253
00:10:10,498 --> 00:10:12,804
Uh, I know.
254
00:10:12,891 --> 00:10:14,415
[chuckling]
255
00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:16,547
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
256
00:10:16,634 --> 00:10:17,722
[both chuckling]
257
00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:18,941
[doorbell rings]
- This is gonna be cool.
258
00:10:19,028 --> 00:10:20,856
[both chuckling]
259
00:10:23,728 --> 00:10:26,601
[rock music]
260
00:10:26,688 --> 00:10:33,260
♪ ♪
261
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,278
Chirp.
18256
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
