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1
00:00:02,671 --> 00:00:05,543
[rock music]
2
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:09,155
♪ ♪
3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,114
Today we're talking
about fossils.
4
00:00:11,201 --> 00:00:12,637
Okay?
5
00:00:12,724 --> 00:00:15,335
And a fossil, class,
is really just another name
6
00:00:15,422 --> 00:00:17,468
for an ancient bone.
7
00:00:17,555 --> 00:00:21,907
[Beavis and Butt-Head
snickering]
8
00:00:21,994 --> 00:00:23,735
But what you may not know
9
00:00:23,822 --> 00:00:26,520
is that these bony messengers
from the past
10
00:00:26,608 --> 00:00:29,654
can be found
in our own backyard.
11
00:00:29,741 --> 00:00:33,832
Recently, not far from here,
a Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton
12
00:00:33,919 --> 00:00:36,922
was found
by amateur bone hunters.
13
00:00:37,009 --> 00:00:39,403
Beavis' mom
is an amateur bone hunter.
14
00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:42,014
Shut up, Butt-Head.
That's not funny.
15
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:43,712
And while they may not have
the glitz
16
00:00:43,799 --> 00:00:45,801
of popular youth culture,
17
00:00:45,888 --> 00:00:48,499
dinosaur exhibits bring in
millions of dollars
18
00:00:48,586 --> 00:00:49,674
for the American
Paleontological Foundation--
19
00:00:49,761 --> 00:00:53,025
Uh, sir?
Sir! Hey!
20
00:00:53,112 --> 00:00:55,941
What was the part
about a million dollars?
21
00:00:56,028 --> 00:00:58,291
More like millions,
Butt-Head.
22
00:00:58,378 --> 00:01:00,424
You know, a good research
project would be to find--
23
00:01:00,511 --> 00:01:03,862
Beavis, our hard work
in school is about to pay off.
24
00:01:03,949 --> 00:01:05,864
[chuckles]
25
00:01:05,951 --> 00:01:07,649
Yeah, finally.
26
00:01:07,736 --> 00:01:09,825
Jesus.
[chuckles]
27
00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:13,742
Eh, sorry, Butt-Head.
28
00:01:13,829 --> 00:01:15,569
Anderson only had one shovel.
29
00:01:15,657 --> 00:01:17,049
One is all we need, Beavis.
30
00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:18,921
Now start digging.
31
00:01:19,008 --> 00:01:21,663
Van Driessen said we'd find
them in our own backyard.
32
00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,490
[chuckles]
33
00:01:23,577 --> 00:01:26,189
[shovel clanking]
34
00:01:26,276 --> 00:01:29,192
[grunting]
35
00:01:36,155 --> 00:01:39,506
Um, I don't see
any bones, Butt-Head.
36
00:01:39,593 --> 00:01:41,030
Beavis, you wuss.
37
00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:43,206
You're not digging good.
38
00:01:43,293 --> 00:01:45,164
Step aside.
39
00:01:45,251 --> 00:01:48,428
You got to put your back
into it, dumbass, like this.
40
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,306
Beavis, we'll find
no dinosaurs here.
41
00:01:56,393 --> 00:01:58,003
If it's this hard
for us to dig,
42
00:01:58,090 --> 00:02:00,658
there's no way the dinosaurs
could have dug their houses
43
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:03,139
with those wimpy little
kangaroo arms.
44
00:02:03,226 --> 00:02:07,491
Oh, yeah.
[both chuckling]
45
00:02:07,578 --> 00:02:10,494
[shovel scraping]
46
00:02:10,581 --> 00:02:14,541
Uh, those dumbass bones got
to be in somebody's backyard.
47
00:02:14,628 --> 00:02:16,021
Yeah, yeah.
48
00:02:16,108 --> 00:02:17,980
Whoa, a bone!
49
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,372
It's just like that
dinosaur bone we saw in class
50
00:02:19,459 --> 00:02:21,200
but newer.
51
00:02:21,287 --> 00:02:23,289
That butt-munch dog
stole our idea.
52
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,335
Damn it.
53
00:02:25,422 --> 00:02:26,815
Come on, give it.
[dog growling]
54
00:02:26,902 --> 00:02:28,512
It's mine.
55
00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:29,948
What are you going to do
56
00:02:30,035 --> 00:02:30,514
with a million dollars, butthole?
57
00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:33,822
[dog growling]
58
00:02:35,606 --> 00:02:37,956
Whoa, bones.
59
00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:39,784
Yeah, we don't
even have to dig.
60
00:02:39,871 --> 00:02:42,569
That stupid dog did
all our work for us.
61
00:02:42,656 --> 00:02:45,616
He even put them in bags.
62
00:02:45,703 --> 00:02:49,576
Yeah, there's still
some dinosaur on this one.
63
00:02:49,663 --> 00:02:51,317
Not bad really.
64
00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:57,410
Wait, what's this show called?
65
00:02:57,497 --> 00:03:01,197
Uh, this is "Ghosted."
[chuckles]
66
00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:03,068
So is there a ghost
on that chair?
67
00:03:03,155 --> 00:03:06,593
[chuckles]
- No.
68
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,509
That dude there,
he like, ghosted her.
69
00:03:09,596 --> 00:03:12,121
And so now they're going
to like, find out why
70
00:03:12,208 --> 00:03:14,384
and then work it out
or something,
71
00:03:14,471 --> 00:03:16,168
or settle it in the cage
or something.
72
00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:18,040
Why didn't you tell me?
73
00:03:18,127 --> 00:03:19,650
Why didn't you like,
spend the holidays with me?
74
00:03:19,737 --> 00:03:21,391
I was your girlfriend.
75
00:03:21,478 --> 00:03:22,435
Boy, she must have
done something
76
00:03:22,522 --> 00:03:25,003
really bad
for him to ghost her.
77
00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:26,831
Yeah, she probably
like, killed his dog
78
00:03:26,918 --> 00:03:29,312
and slapped his mom
and stuff, you know?
79
00:03:29,399 --> 00:03:31,314
And even then though,
80
00:03:31,401 --> 00:03:34,056
I still don't think
I'd ghost her, Butt-Head.
81
00:03:34,143 --> 00:03:35,797
- [sighs]
- Yeah, this better be good.
82
00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:37,711
This is really embarrassing.
83
00:03:37,799 --> 00:03:39,583
We got to pay attention.
84
00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:43,935
The real reason
I ghosted you, Giovanna,
85
00:03:44,022 --> 00:03:47,460
is because you're a sex addict.
86
00:03:47,547 --> 00:03:49,462
What?
87
00:03:49,549 --> 00:03:52,465
Uh, what?
[chuckles]
88
00:03:52,552 --> 00:03:55,686
Wait, wait, wait a second.
Whoa, whoa. [chuckles]
89
00:03:55,773 --> 00:03:59,037
You know, it almost
sounded like he said
90
00:03:59,124 --> 00:04:00,734
she wants to have sex too much,
91
00:04:00,822 --> 00:04:02,519
and that's why
he broke up with her.
92
00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:05,130
Uh, that can't be right.
93
00:04:05,217 --> 00:04:06,392
Girl, you're like
a [bleep] rabbit.
94
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,090
Like, you just [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep], [bleep],
95
00:04:08,177 --> 00:04:09,308
[bleep], [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep].
96
00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:10,440
Wait, he is!
He is complaining!
97
00:04:10,527 --> 00:04:12,268
- You're pathetic.
- What?
98
00:04:12,355 --> 00:04:13,573
- You're for real pathetic.
- He's complaining about that?
99
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:16,838
This is the dumbest dude
I've ever seen in my life.
100
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,535
Oh, he's not just dumb,
Butt-Head.
101
00:04:18,622 --> 00:04:20,189
[chuckles]
102
00:04:20,276 --> 00:04:23,670
He's a lousy son of a bitch!
Yeah.
103
00:04:23,757 --> 00:04:26,108
- He sure is.
- How dare he!
104
00:04:26,195 --> 00:04:28,980
I mean, some of us,
you know, like me,
105
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,287
don't have any sex, ever.
106
00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:34,899
And he's sitting there
with his man bun
107
00:04:34,986 --> 00:04:36,901
and complaining about
having too much sex?
108
00:04:36,988 --> 00:04:38,947
Jesus Christ.
109
00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:40,905
Multiple times
a day, every day.
110
00:04:40,992 --> 00:04:43,212
I don't know what
number multiple is,
111
00:04:43,299 --> 00:04:45,040
but it's better than zero.
112
00:04:45,127 --> 00:04:47,346
Exactly.
113
00:04:47,433 --> 00:04:50,306
There's starving kids
in poor countries,
114
00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:52,786
and they probably get to score,
but I don't.
115
00:04:52,874 --> 00:04:55,746
And look at this guy.
Who does he think he is?
116
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:57,879
For once, I'm not going
to say settle down, Beavis.
117
00:04:57,966 --> 00:05:00,185
You're absolutely right.
118
00:05:00,272 --> 00:05:02,100
I hate him!
I hate him, Butt-Head!
119
00:05:02,187 --> 00:05:03,754
[screaming]
120
00:05:03,841 --> 00:05:05,669
[glass shatters]
121
00:05:05,756 --> 00:05:06,800
Shut up!
- That's right, Beavis.
122
00:05:06,888 --> 00:05:09,281
Shut up!
[screams]
123
00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:10,717
Shut up, you butt monkey!
- Kick his ass.
124
00:05:10,804 --> 00:05:12,545
[screams]
125
00:05:12,632 --> 00:05:15,113
Lousy son of a bitch.
Teach him a lesson.
126
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,985
- [grunting]
- There you go.
127
00:05:17,072 --> 00:05:18,464
You don't want to score?
128
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:20,075
Well, how about not scoring
with some of this?
129
00:05:20,162 --> 00:05:21,990
- Yes.
- [grunts]
130
00:05:28,822 --> 00:05:30,650
[sighs]
131
00:05:30,737 --> 00:05:32,957
That's how you
take care of that.
132
00:05:33,044 --> 00:05:35,177
That'll teach him a lesson.
133
00:05:37,266 --> 00:05:39,529
[chuckles]
That was cool.
134
00:05:39,616 --> 00:05:41,444
Sorry, sorry.
135
00:05:41,531 --> 00:05:43,141
Yeah, I just really hated him,
Butt-Head, you know?
136
00:05:43,228 --> 00:05:45,448
[both chuckle]
137
00:05:45,535 --> 00:05:50,627
We don't have a TV anymore.
[chuckles]
138
00:05:50,714 --> 00:05:52,759
Why not?
139
00:05:52,846 --> 00:05:55,675
Oh, yeah, yeah.
140
00:05:56,328 --> 00:05:59,070
[metallic scraping]
[both grunting]
141
00:06:04,902 --> 00:06:07,687
So let's, like,
assemble the bones.
142
00:06:07,774 --> 00:06:09,428
[chuckles]
143
00:06:09,515 --> 00:06:13,258
Um, are there instructions
or something?
144
00:06:13,345 --> 00:06:15,478
I don't see any.
145
00:06:15,565 --> 00:06:17,306
They must have fell out
of the bag or something.
146
00:06:17,393 --> 00:06:19,395
We don't need instructions, asswipe.
147
00:06:19,482 --> 00:06:22,615
I know plenty about dinosaurs.
148
00:06:22,702 --> 00:06:25,662
Now, this is an ass bone.
[chuckles]
149
00:06:25,749 --> 00:06:27,055
[both chuckle]
150
00:06:32,712 --> 00:06:34,105
How's it look?
[chuckles]
151
00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:37,108
Uh...
152
00:06:37,195 --> 00:06:39,241
pretty realistic.
153
00:06:39,328 --> 00:06:43,593
Hmm, it feels like
it's missing something though.
154
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,464
Like what?
155
00:06:45,551 --> 00:06:47,162
Uh...
156
00:06:47,249 --> 00:06:49,729
oh, yeah.
157
00:06:49,816 --> 00:06:52,167
[both chuckling]
158
00:06:56,084 --> 00:06:58,912
I shall call you Bonersaurus.
159
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,697
The mighty Bonersaurus.
160
00:07:00,784 --> 00:07:02,525
[both chuckling]
161
00:07:02,612 --> 00:07:04,831
Beavis,
it's going to be hard for us
162
00:07:04,918 --> 00:07:06,659
not to make a million dollars.
163
00:07:06,746 --> 00:07:07,660
[chuckles]
164
00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:15,364
Come see the dinosaur.
165
00:07:15,451 --> 00:07:18,410
It's a real skeleton
of a dinosaur monster.
166
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:20,195
Yes, sir.
[chuckles]
167
00:07:20,282 --> 00:07:22,197
And then, like,
visit the gift shop.
168
00:07:22,284 --> 00:07:23,633
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
169
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,939
We've got a t-shirt
that says "Bonersaurus"
170
00:07:26,027 --> 00:07:27,854
and then like,
Butt-Head's retainer,
171
00:07:27,941 --> 00:07:30,248
and that's, like, a bra
I found in a parking lot once.
172
00:07:30,335 --> 00:07:32,120
Come see the
ancient Bonersaurus.
173
00:07:32,207 --> 00:07:33,730
Oh, my God.
Pull over, pull over.
174
00:07:33,817 --> 00:07:35,123
Look at this.
175
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:35,775
- Step right up.
- Hey, you.
176
00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:37,386
That is too perfect.
177
00:07:37,473 --> 00:07:38,648
Let's get a picture,
178
00:07:38,735 --> 00:07:39,779
and then we'll
get the hell out of here.
179
00:07:39,866 --> 00:07:41,520
Come see the Bonersaurus.
180
00:07:41,607 --> 00:07:43,740
Come check out our museum
that's going to make us rich.
181
00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:45,437
Did you make this?
182
00:07:45,524 --> 00:07:48,919
Uh, yeah,
this is Bonersaurus.
183
00:07:49,006 --> 00:07:50,442
Would you like to see it
for $2?
184
00:07:50,529 --> 00:07:54,446
Yes, we'd love to see it.
Here you go.
185
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,969
Welcome to our museum.
186
00:07:56,057 --> 00:07:57,667
Hundreds of years ago,
187
00:07:57,754 --> 00:08:00,322
Bonersaurus walked the land,
killing everything in sight,
188
00:08:00,409 --> 00:08:02,976
and scoring
with chick dinosaurs.
189
00:08:03,064 --> 00:08:05,892
Yeah,
its name was Bonersaurus,
190
00:08:05,979 --> 00:08:08,199
which means saurus
that has a boner.
191
00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:10,723
[chuckles]
- And this ends our tour.
192
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,551
Please exit through
the gift shop.
193
00:08:12,638 --> 00:08:13,900
And buy some stuff.
194
00:08:13,987 --> 00:08:15,076
[camera shutter clicks]
195
00:08:15,163 --> 00:08:16,207
I have to post this
right now.
196
00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:17,730
[both chuckling]
197
00:08:19,558 --> 00:08:22,735
Um, how much money have
we made so far, Butt-Head?
198
00:08:22,822 --> 00:08:25,608
Uh, let's see here.
199
00:08:25,695 --> 00:08:29,960
One, two--uh...
200
00:08:30,047 --> 00:08:33,572
it's like $100 or, like,
a million or something.
201
00:08:33,659 --> 00:08:35,661
Kickass.
202
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,620
What are you going to
buy with your half?
203
00:08:37,707 --> 00:08:39,187
Half?
204
00:08:39,274 --> 00:08:41,711
Boner-saurus was my idea, Beavis.
205
00:08:41,798 --> 00:08:43,452
No way.
206
00:08:43,539 --> 00:08:46,368
It was my idea,
and I built most of it!
207
00:08:46,455 --> 00:08:48,935
Well, I stuck on the boner.
[chuckles]
208
00:08:49,022 --> 00:08:50,894
And that's what everybody's
here to see.
209
00:08:50,981 --> 00:08:52,113
Damn it, Butt-Head.
210
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,592
Now, I'm going
to take the boner...
211
00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,333
- No, you're not.
- And build my own Bonersaurus!
212
00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:57,292
And mine is going
to be all boners
213
00:08:57,379 --> 00:08:59,903
with none of that dumb stuff
like arms! Yeah.
214
00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:01,513
Beavis,
if you touch my boner,
215
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,950
I swear to God I'm going--
- This boner is mine!
216
00:09:06,039 --> 00:09:08,216
Beavis, get your damn
hands off my boner.
217
00:09:08,303 --> 00:09:09,826
[fist impacting]
- Make me!
218
00:09:09,913 --> 00:09:11,654
[both grunting]
219
00:09:19,836 --> 00:09:21,098
[chuckles]
220
00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:24,319
[wind blows softly]
221
00:09:27,365 --> 00:09:30,542
I guess the museum's closed,
Butt-Head.
222
00:09:30,629 --> 00:09:34,024
The age of the mighty
Bonersaurus is over.
223
00:09:34,111 --> 00:09:36,679
Perhaps in a hundred years,
people will find these bones
224
00:09:36,766 --> 00:09:40,204
and say, "Once long ago,
there was a dinosaur
225
00:09:40,291 --> 00:09:43,033
that had a boner or something."
226
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,078
I don't know.
[chuckles]
227
00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:47,951
This is stupid.
[chuckles]
228
00:09:48,038 --> 00:09:51,433
Why did we even do this?
229
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,610
Makes you think. [chuckles]
It really makes you think.
230
00:09:54,697 --> 00:09:55,611
[both chuckling]
231
00:09:55,698 --> 00:09:57,308
[dog growling]
232
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:26,729
Chirp.
16352
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