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1
00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:04,629
MALORY:
I am dead serious.
2
00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:09,008
From now on, no eggs,
no pigs' feet, nothing pickled.
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:12,970
Or so help me God,
I will put that refrigerator out by the curb.
4
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,430
GILLETTE: What?
KRIEGER: Come on.
5
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:17,058
Those weren't pigs' feet.
ALL: Ew!
6
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:19,435
Whatever feet, idiot.
7
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:23,564
Now then, we have an assignment,
but I won't be joining you...
8
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:27,527
...so if you'll direct your goldfish-like
attention spans to Mr. Slater.
9
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:30,279
Just Slater, for the infinitieth time.
10
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,864
Watch it.
Shut up.
11
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,116
Burn.
Shut up.
12
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,118
Burn.
13
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,788
Okay. The young man in the monitor
is Crown Prince Fawad Fawaz...
14
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:41,124
...heir to the throne
of the Kingdom of Durhan.
15
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,126
He just got a summer internship
on Wall Street.
16
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,628
Ugh. Affirmative action.
17
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:48,965
And so he's in the city looking
for suitable accommodations...
18
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:51,384
...something befitting
the world's richest prince.
19
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:52,885
KRIEGER: Oh, money.
PAM: Holy shit.
20
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,471
And so what, he needs bodyguards?
SLATER: Mmm.
21
00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:59,308
No, I think he's all set there.
22
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:03,104
Which brings us to my problem,
which, coincidentally, is also your problem.
23
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,732
Without the prince
or his security team's knowledge...
24
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:10,111
...I need to scan any and all of his mobile
phones, any and all flash drives...
25
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,530
...both of his handprints
and both of his retinas.
26
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:15,825
And why?
Oh, sorry, let me back up.
27
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,786
This is part of Operation Because I Said So.
You know what?
28
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:19,996
I'm sure I do.
29
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:24,125
For example, this is a tranquilizer gun
with which I will dart the prince...
30
00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:27,754
...and then we'll have 60 seconds to do
all the scans before he wakes up...
31
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,174
...with no side effects and no memory at all
of the previous few minutes.
32
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,594
Bullshit, the CIA doesn't have
that technolo-- Ungh!
33
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:38,347
But before I can tranquilize him,
I need access to the prince, so--
34
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:42,435
And just so we're clear,
he's the prince of Durhan, an allied country.
35
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,188
Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back
to Operation Said So.
36
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,565
Everybody else,
these are your mission dossiers.
37
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,693
Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.
Ah! Tunt Manor?
38
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,737
That's my house.
I know.
39
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,530
And the prince is on his way there.
40
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,366
And so we're going there
and because you know the property...
41
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,285
...you'll be posing as the listing agent.
42
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,120
[GASPS, THEN SQUEALS]
43
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,206
Shut up.
Burn.
44
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:06,876
Just in case I don't read this,
what are the rest of us gonna be doing?
45
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:10,004
Some of you will be assisting me
and/or Miss Tunt.
46
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:14,050
The rest of you will be distracting
the prince's security team and/or his mother.
47
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,219
Her Majesty, Queen Yasmin Fawaz.
48
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,554
ARCHER: Oh, shit.
CHERYL: Damn.
49
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,223
[PANTS SQUEAKING]
50
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,849
Seriously?
What?
51
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,811
I just heard you get hard.
ALL: Ew!
52
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:29,899
They were goat feet
and you threw them out! Ah! Damn you!
53
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:33,903
God damn you all to hell!
54
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,907
[SIGHING]
So van's downstairs.
55
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,447
[METAL DETECTOR SQUEAKING]
56
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,242
MAN:
Turn around. Now spread your arms.
57
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:24,996
I do apologize for this
necessary precaution, Miss...?
58
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:29,333
Oh. Uh....
What do I always tell you? Never apologize.
59
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:32,461
It is a sign of weakness.
Yes, Mother.
60
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,672
So, Miss--
Uh, Escrow.
61
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,049
My last name is Escrow.
Really?
62
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,803
Yes, and trust me, I've heard all the jokes.
63
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,763
Ha-ha-ha!
Oh, boy.
64
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,725
Okay, chinstrap, let me see
what we got on the other cameras.
65
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,979
KRIEGER: Bathroom one, bathroom two,
bathroom three, bathroom four, bathroom five--
66
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,065
Are all the cameras in bathrooms?
No. Just my faves.
67
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:58,321
Bathroom six, bathroom seven, bathr-- Ah.
Should have gotten some poison ones.
68
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,240
Okay, people, I want you in position
in five minutes.
69
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,952
Ah. Should've thought of that before
you picked these ridiculous costumes.
70
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,996
Why are your plans always so complicated?
71
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:10,458
You're like Wile E. Coyote
with access to predator drones. Out.
72
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,835
PAM:
I think these uniforms are awesome.
73
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,005
Here, let me get some pics of you.
To masturbate to?
74
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,925
Heh-heh. Pfft. Please.
75
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,176
Please?
76
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:24,347
Can somebody explain to me
why the CIA is spying on American allies?
77
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,974
Well, Ray, there were these things
called dinosaurs...
78
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,685
...and when they died,
they turned into oil somehow...
79
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,772
...and that's what your car uses for food.
ARCHER: Thanks, Al.
80
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,774
CYRIL: Al?
Jazeera.
81
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,651
For all we know,
Slater wants that stuff...
82
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,403
...because the CIA is trying
to protect the royal family.
83
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:41,864
From what?
Cabals.
84
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,450
What?
Yes, sinister cabals.
85
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,744
I bet the royal palace
is lousy with them.
86
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,330
So instead of trying
to undermine the mission....
87
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,415
Don't undermine it!
88
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,084
What the heck got into him?
89
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:58,214
More like what he wants to get into,
which, obviously, the queen's vagina.
90
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,758
Seriously?
Or wherever else.
91
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,094
Although she didn't look like
a Back Dorothy.
92
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,763
Well, we'll just see about that.
93
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,224
The part about Archer having sex
with the queen...
94
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:11,519
...not the part about the queen being
into anal sex. Who knows?
95
00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:15,773
Wow, this is eerily similar to my spec script
for Masterpiece Theater.
96
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:19,276
Your what?
Well, I guess technically it's fanfic.
97
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:22,697
Bringing us to the formal dining room,
which seats 80...
98
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:26,283
...with plenty of room for servants
to skulk around.
99
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,911
Ladling turtle soup into sterling silver bowls...
100
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:32,373
...their sullen eyes downcast
as Grandmama makes a joke...
101
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:35,960
...about chopping off their hands
if they spill even a single drop...
102
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:39,255
...like we used to do in the Belgian Congo.
103
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:45,136
And how about that chandelier, huh?
Ha. But I wouldn't wanna dust it.
104
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:48,681
An opinion apparently shared by the staff
about the rest of the furnishings.
105
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:52,935
If this were my palace, I'd--
What did I tell you, wench?
106
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,520
Stop right there! Who are you?
107
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,690
I'm Butler. The butler.
108
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:04,447
Ha. Wait, your name is Butler or--?
Both. And, heh, I've heard every joke.
109
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:08,200
My sincere apologies, Your Majesty,
for the deplorable state of the house.
110
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,620
Good help is difficult to find,
as I'm sure Your Majesty well knows.
111
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,706
What I know, you impudent toad...
112
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,250
...is if a servant dared speak to me
in my palace...
113
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:19,128
...I'd have him sewn
into a burlap sack filled with rats...
114
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:22,882
...and the sack thrown into the river.
Burn! Oh! Ungh.
115
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,676
Well slapped, Your Majesty.
Come.
116
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:29,680
Let's get this over with
so I can bathe off all this filth and grime.
117
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,725
Oh, my God, can you believe this?
BOTH: What?
118
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:37,063
My commission is gonna be huge.
QUEEN: Come, you foolish woman.
119
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:41,150
Coming, My Majesty.
Now, is anyone allergic to ocelots?
120
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:45,654
Oh, that's right, Babou.
Ow, man, what a hate-slapping bitch.
121
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,324
Yeah, I gotta have sex with her.
Wait, what?
122
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:51,285
But I thought you and Lana were kind of,
you know....
123
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,120
Kind of "you know" what?
What'd she say?
124
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,956
Well, nothing, but--
See? Classic Lana.
125
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:59,543
So what, you're gonna try to bang
the queen just to make Lana jealous?
126
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:05,132
No. That'll just be icing on what I assume
will be an extremely moist cake.
127
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,510
Blorp.
Because I've had sex with a baroness...
128
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:12,348
...a marquise, a vicomtesse,
the two princess sisters, a duchess--
129
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,934
Ah! Your mom's dog?
No.
130
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,813
The wife of a duke?
Yes, but I've never had sex with a queen.
131
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:22,191
Yasmin would be
my greatest masterpiece, Pam, my....
132
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:25,528
Hang on.
Heh-heh. Moaning Lisa.
133
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,822
Damn it, I was gonna say that.
134
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,950
Girl with a Pearl Necklace.
Ha-ha-ha.
135
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,994
The Potato Eaters.
Stop it.
136
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,957
But wait. Why are you telling me
your plan to not make Lana jealous?
137
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,710
I don't know, I-- Oh, my God, Pam,
I think you might be my best friend.
138
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,213
You're my best friend.
What about Cheryl?
139
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,215
You're my second best friend.
140
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,134
Oh, my God.
What?
141
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:52,388
Eh. I thought by now I'd be doing
a lot better in the old friend department.
142
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:54,473
I thought by now I'd be dead.
143
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,059
Well, day's not over.
Right?
144
00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:01,814
He what? I mean-- So what?
Well, I just figured you'd wanna know.
145
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,607
You figured it'd make me jealous...
146
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:07,069
...but spoiler alert:
I don't give a shit who Archer bangs.
147
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:12,241
Well, yeah, no, but if you did
and you wanted to make Archer jealous....
148
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:15,578
Then I'd go break my pussy off
on that hot little prince's merguez.
149
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,581
Exactly, that's what I'm-- Wait, what?
150
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:22,418
Which, come to think of it, would be
what my vagina refers to as a win-win.
151
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:26,005
Hey, wait a minute.
Love to, can't, got a pussy to break.
152
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,967
Ah. Well, that backfired.
153
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,595
Or did it?
154
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,724
Yes, yes, it most certainly did.
155
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,229
SLATER:
Okay, people, listen up.
156
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,608
If you're not in position,
you'd better get there ASAP because--
157
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,152
What's that? Ungh.
Ah.
158
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,238
Because right now, Cheryl should
be leading the Durhanis into--
159
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:55,367
CHERYL: The world-renowned conservatory.
SLATER: Where Gillette should be ready...
160
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,079
...with the transdermal solution
of the most powerful laxative known to man.
161
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:03,709
I-- Damn it, I had something for this.
Wait, was it something about dukes?
162
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,253
CHERYL: The Tunt Conservatory is home
to the world's...
163
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,714
...second-largest collection
of carnivorous plants...
164
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,800
...the shame of which drove
the current owner's eccentric great-uncle...
165
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:16,180
...Theophilus Tunt, to commit suicide.
Or maybe it was just the syphilis.
166
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,807
We may never know, and, frankly,
it's none of our--
167
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,351
Bathroom?
QUEEN: What?
168
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:23,854
I'm sorry, Your Majesty, I don't know
what's wrong, but I need to--
169
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,857
Mother.
Silence! How dare you?
170
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:30,319
Indeed. Well slapped,
His Majesty.
171
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:33,155
Now, if you will follow me into the--
Bathroom.
172
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,990
Please, Your Majesty. I cannot wait.
173
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,826
I told you idiots
that wasn't the real Famous Ray's.
174
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,621
A thousand pardons.
Foolish woman, where is a bathroom?
175
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,499
Where isn't a bathroom? Heh-heh.
176
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,334
Am I right? Ha-ha.
177
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:49,630
All kidding aside, though, the house does
have 22 full- and 18 half-baths...
178
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:54,551
...all boasting priceless
Grueby Faience tilework, as well as...
179
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,220
...cucumber-water bidets.
180
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:57,805
[GUARDS FARTING]
181
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:01,809
Now, if your assorted majesties
and highnesses will please follow me....
182
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,853
To elevator three,
where what's-her-face should be standing by.
183
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,481
Ten-four on the 20, come back.
Stop it.
184
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:11,485
She'll bring the prince upstairs, where Archer
and Lana are waiting to bring him to me--
185
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,529
ARCHER: What? Wait, what?
What?
186
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,447
What's that?
Are you in position?
187
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,075
Yes?
ARCHER: Yeah, I am.
188
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,829
So I'm not really sure why you're using
that pissy tone with me.
189
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,664
Unless I sound like Lana, who is....
190
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:28,669
Hang on, looking around the position,
and she is...
191
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,255
...not in position.
Well, where the hell is she?
192
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,716
Yeah. Stand by?
193
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,217
[HIGH-PITCHED FEEDBACK]
194
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,846
Jeez. Ow! Oh. Agh!
What's that?
195
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,265
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
196
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,517
Hey, speaking of Lana and positions.
197
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:46,395
Cyril, I either can't
or merely don't want to talk, so--
198
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,189
Cowgirl? Wheelbarrow? Butter churn?
199
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,651
Ugh. Okay, Gollum,
you have won the game of riddles.
200
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,530
The gold ring is yours.
Lana and the prince, you idiot.
201
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,366
I-- Wait, what about Lana and the prince?
202
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,869
Bow-chicka-dow-dow.
Ah!
203
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:06,040
Ow! Ow.
204
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:07,958
[SIGHS]
205
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,420
So that backfired.
206
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,756
Maybe I should work on my timing.
207
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,924
[GUARDS FARTING AND GROANING]
208
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:22,348
MAN: Please, someone just kill me.
Be careful what you wish for.
209
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:28,270
Especially if it's claustrophobic,
manually-operated elevators!
210
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,938
Because this is what you would get.
211
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:34,735
And I am embarrassed to say
that I have room for only one passenger.
212
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,279
Where, in your belly?
Burn.
213
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,655
What?
Return.
214
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:42,034
I shall take His Highness
and then I shall speedily return for--
215
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,788
LANA: Your Majesty.
PRINCE: Oh, my God.
216
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,082
PAM:
Damn, Gina!
217
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,251
If it please Your Majesty,
take the elevator.
218
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:56,465
I will escort His Highness upstairs
via a more scenic route.
219
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,258
[PANTS SQUEAK
AND PRINCE COUGHS]
220
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,844
Out of the question.
I don't want him alone without--
221
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,305
Mother, this sounds like a win-win.
222
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,058
Pardon, but I'm supposed to-- Oof.
Mother.
223
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,852
Woman, I will kill you where you stand!
224
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:12,815
Which, by law, I'm required to tell you
if there's been a murder in the house....
225
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,942
Oh, but if you were the murderer....
226
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:18,821
Heh. That's what I love about this job.
You learn something new every--
227
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,322
Mother, please.
Ah!
228
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,658
[CHERYL MOANS, THEN PURRS]
229
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:25,744
Fawad, habibi,
I shall meet you upstairs momentarily.
230
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,163
Mind you, do not tarry.
231
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,916
Well?
Borp.
232
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,835
SLATER:
What the hell?
233
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,670
[GUARDS FARTING]
234
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,256
Where is everybody?
Here. Present.
235
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,590
Where's Lana?
What the--?
236
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,343
She's not in here,
which is where you also shouldn't be.
237
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,012
BOTH: What?
Why aren't you in position?
238
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,932
Because, Slater, there's a problem
with your tranquilizer gun.
239
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,767
What problem?
240
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:52,771
It goes off for, like, no reason.
Where's Lana?
241
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:58,277
I'm not even 100 percent sure
where I am right now, so--
242
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,196
You-- You are hands down
my new favorite thing.
243
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:04,867
GILLETTE: Hello? Anybody?
What the...? Ray? Is that you?
244
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,161
Yeah, I need--
Good, keep this channel open.
245
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,956
No, I need you guys to--
Keep this channel open.
246
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,543
God, these people.
Always me, me, me.
247
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,129
[COOING]
Hey, pretty girl.
248
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:23,886
Or boy, or gender-fluid,
or however you self-identify, it's all good.
249
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,555
Although that being said....
250
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,099
[GILLETTE YELLS,
THEN PLANT ROARS]
251
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:37,316
Ah. Blorp.
252
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,067
[PLANT MAKES RATTLING NOISE]
253
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,615
[SLATER YAWNS]
254
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,326
SLATER:
Okay, let's do this.
255
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,245
What's-your-face, Pam, what's your--?
What the shit?
256
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,039
What's that?
257
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,582
Hey, you.
258
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:59,087
What the hell are you people doing?
Thinking about some breakfast, am I right?
259
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,924
Oh, my God, chilaquiles?
What the...?
260
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:06,094
Where the hell is my tranquilizer gun?
Your what?
261
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,932
LANA: Your Highness?
Could you help me in here, please?
262
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,894
And so, beckoned by the servant,
a powerful negress giant...
263
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:17,022
...Fawad entered the boudoir
and soon became a man.
264
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:18,524
[GASPS]
265
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,443
I seem to have fallen.
266
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:25,113
I.... I seem to see that.
267
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:29,117
Can you help me up or vice versa?
268
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:34,790
I think perhaps both? Ideally?
Or rather, both, ideally, would be-- Ungh.
269
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,544
Hello? Prince?
270
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:42,214
Kid, come on. I mean, I know I've been
crushing the post-natal yoga, but....
271
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:46,343
Seriously, did you have a stroke? Ah.
ARCHER: Seriously?
272
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,637
You honestly thought
you were so attractive...
273
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:53,016
...that you caused a healthy young man
to literally.... To....
274
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:56,728
To literally have a.... Uh, uh....
275
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,938
Stroke?
276
00:14:58,481 --> 00:14:59,690
[PANTS SQUEAKING]
277
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,233
SLATER:
Seriously?
278
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,111
You better hope I get all
this shit scanned before he wakes-- Ungh.
279
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,738
What's that?
I couldn't hear you over the sound of....
280
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,448
Seriously, just yoga?
281
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:12,077
He said, jealously.
Oh, my God, if anybody's jealous, it's you.
282
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,788
Hang on, shut up,
I have something for this....
283
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:17,165
Lana Cougar Mellencamp.
What?
284
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:21,253
Look at him. He's a child.
He's 21, I think!
285
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,381
Which is more than I can say
for most of your sexual partners.
286
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:25,632
What?! I-- That....
287
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,135
I mean,
if that were technically true, it's--
288
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,971
What? Obvious that the reason
you try to drag your dick...
289
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:34,099
...through every attractive woman you meet
is because you're not over me?
290
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,976
Oh! Oh, my God.
291
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:41,189
And just when their anger reaches
a fever pitch, in walks Figgis.
292
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:45,611
I can't even formulate a response to that.
Because you can't argue with the truth.
293
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:49,489
I can! And if anybody's
not over anybody, it's you!
294
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,951
With your, your, your....
295
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,453
[BOTH MOANING]
296
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,246
[CYRIL SIGHS]
297
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,456
Timing.
298
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,625
[MOANING CONTINUES]
299
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:05,172
Uh, excuse me? Hello? Ungh!
300
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,215
[QUEEN SCREAMING]
301
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:10,427
Jesus, my ear balls.
Um....
302
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,597
Oh.
So here's the thing with that.
303
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:19,686
I'll be seeing you two later.
Guards! Gua-- Oh.
304
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,356
So not great.
Uh, could be worse.
305
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,983
MAN: Coming, Your Majesty.
Case in point.
306
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,194
[ALL YELLING]
307
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:32,032
Yeah, they're gonna kill everybody.
308
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:36,119
Well, damn it. I'll have to disclose that.
Will somebody do something?
309
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:39,414
Yeah, Lana, get his pants off.
Oh. Inappropes, honey.
310
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:43,710
Ah! Wait, were they screwing?
Hey! If anybody tells Mother about this, I'll--
311
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,962
Wait, what?
SLATER: What the shit?
312
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,631
You idiots. What did you do?
313
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,634
Hey, whoa. First of all,
your plan was way too complicated.
314
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:51,968
Maybe for you people.
315
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:56,390
It had everything but a sign for free bird seed,
and second of all....
316
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,100
What the...?
317
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,602
Huh. I was wondering
how many rounds this little guy held.
318
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:01,770
[GUARDS YELLING]
319
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,398
Oh, my God, we're gonna die.
I gotta get out of here.
320
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:08,110
If they find out the CIA was behind this,
it'll be an international incident.
321
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,028
Yeah, God forbid you guys get caught.
322
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:14,324
Hello, front desk? Watergate Hotel?
This is the Bay of Pigs, in Room 61.
323
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:17,035
Could you send up
1500 poorly-trained Cuban exiles?
324
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,621
Oh, and ice.
Ah. You done?
325
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,040
Yes, that's right and a bucket of ice. Hm?
326
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:26,545
What's that? No, we won't be needing
any air cover. Click. Now I'm done.
327
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,963
[GUARDS YELLING]
328
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,007
Then can we--?
Carol.
329
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,719
I assume the bedrooms are connected
to secret passages?
330
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,681
Yeah, so that at night,
Grandfather could look in on the children.
331
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:39,808
[ALL GROAN]
332
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,393
Okay, everybody in...
333
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,438
...and make sure you swing by
and get Krieger and Ray on your way out.
334
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,106
Yeah, where is Ray?
335
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,858
[GRUNTING]
336
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,198
Well, I gotta hand it to you....
337
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,367
[CACKLING]
338
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:03,999
[ALL YELLING]
339
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,294
Wait, what about you guys?
Uh, we're gonna, uh....
340
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:11,840
Beat them off-- Hold them off,
so you guys can get away to--
341
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,842
Safety or wherever.
342
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,344
Heh-heh. Uh-huh.
343
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:19,181
[SIGHS]
344
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:25,187
Okay, so obviously we'll need to talk
about what just happened, so, um....
345
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,148
Shitter?
Or wherever.
346
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,650
[GUARDS CLAMORING]
347
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,527
Your Majesty.
What in the...?
348
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,696
Mother?
Your Highness. Your Majesty.
349
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,407
You're alive. Tear this place apart.
350
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:42,621
And when we find these American pigs,
they will eat their own eyes before we kill them.
351
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:46,041
ARCHER:
Oh. Oh, my God. Lana.
352
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:49,544
It's like the danger makes it
that much hotter.
353
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:54,508
Yeah, yeah, that, plus your dick.
354
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,010
Heh. Right?
355
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,220
[CRUNCHING SOUND]
356
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,013
Totally.
357
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,431
ARCHER:
Oh, my God.
358
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:06,520
MALORY: Well, I hope
you're all pleased with yourselves...
359
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:09,147
...because thanks to your
latest fiasco...
360
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,983
...after he makes a formal protest
at the UN tomorrow...
361
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,778
...the Durhani ambassador
is being recalled.
362
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:19,533
Which-- It was all Slater's fault.
Sterling, I swear to God.
363
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,702
Malory, it was. He--
And why are you taking Sterling's side?
364
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,788
Because--
Shut up.
365
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:27,082
Burn.
Slater's plan was just--
366
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,960
Fakakta, and I was counting
on that commission...
367
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:33,338
...and now the homeowners
are taking the house off the market.
368
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:37,092
You do realize you're the homeowner.
Still though.
369
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,887
Oh, shut up, and unless there's anything else,
you can all get out.
370
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:44,558
Actually, there is one other thing.
What?
371
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:47,435
[CHUCKLING]
I think Ray deserves a hand.
372
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,604
[ALL LAUGHING]
373
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,859
Goddamn it!
374
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,778
Oh, come on, we were all thinking it...
375
00:19:56,946 --> 00:20:00,949
...because you got no freaking hand,
stupid.
31272
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