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1
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:06,422
SLATER: Wait, what happened? I thought
you were gonna renovate this place.
2
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:12,220
As did I, but I was betrayed
by a lying little country music wannabe.
3
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,264
CHERYL: Was that directed at me?
Yes! Who else?
4
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,767
CHERYL:
I don't know who all lies to you!
5
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,520
CHERYL [OVER INTERCOM]:
Also, there's a Mr. Slater to see you.
6
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,940
Just Slater. It's a mononym, like--
Jesus Christ.
7
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:27,860
Nope.
He's in here, you ritzy ditz.
8
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,029
CHERYL:
What are you doing, Dave?
9
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:34,534
So, uh, should I come back?
No. No, no, no. Of course not.
10
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:38,371
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
I mean, whatever the task, we are up to it.
11
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:42,458
We are professional and--
CHERYL: There's a Mr. Slater to see you.
12
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,626
[SIGHS]
13
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,878
I'm gonna go.
Good. Why are you here in the first place?
14
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,755
Mr. Slater--
Just Slater.
15
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,633
And hang on. Excuse me, are you and I
gonna have a problem?
16
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:53,261
I mean, I'm sure we will at some point, but--
17
00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:56,139
Sterling. Mr.--
Just Slater.
18
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,348
Has--
Had.
19
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,142
An important assignment for us...
20
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:03,312
...which I'm sure we can kick right through
the basket for a homerun.
21
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,233
I'm gonna go.
Look, you're already here.
22
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,445
Why not just tell us what the mission is?
23
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:14,115
I will, but only because I choose to.
24
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,993
One of our, well, I guess
you could call him a freelancer--
25
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:20,204
What do you call him?
I call him a freelancer. Shut up, please.
26
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:23,458
Anyway, he needs an extraction
from Buenos Aires.
27
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,919
Ugh, it's just us.
You can say "Buenos Aires."
28
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:31,132
And-- Hush. And what operation
is the CIA conducting in Argentina?
29
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,801
Oh, sorry. It's called Operation Nunya.
30
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,012
I--
As in beeswax, Lana.
31
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:39,348
Yes, I--
ARCHER: Dr. Kane, report to the burn unit.
32
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:43,686
To help a patient who's been burned?
ARCHER: No.
33
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:47,857
Anyway, his cover's been blown.
Argentine Intelligence is onto him...
34
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,276
...and he needs an extraction
A.S.A.G.D.M.F.P.
35
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,446
So why us?
Why not keep it in-house at CIA?
36
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:57,825
Because, turns out,
you actually know this operator.
37
00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,870
Uh, do you mind?
Hmm? Oh!
38
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:04,040
LANA & ARCHER:
Conway Stern?
39
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:09,754
Yes, Conway Stern. Questions?
40
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,254
ARCHER:
Yeah, can I start?
41
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:54,715
You guys mind if I start? I'll start.
Are you out of your shitting mind?
42
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:55,925
Sterling!
Excuse me?
43
00:02:56,093 --> 00:03:00,096
He literally stabbed me in the back.
Because you jeopardized his mission.
44
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:04,350
What mission? To sell classified
military technology to the Chinese?
45
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,436
Phony technology
we wanted China to have.
46
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:10,189
They've been chasing their tails
on the whisper drive for years.
47
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,858
Oh....
"Oh"?
48
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,945
I knew it. In my heart of hearts,
I knew he was one of the good guys.
49
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,948
Literally. The back. Stabbed it.
50
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:24,745
Then you people ripped off his hands so--
After he literally stabbed me. In the back.
51
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,332
Oh, give it a rest, Sterling.
I'm sure you did something to deserve it.
52
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:32,086
But now you have a chance to right that wrong,
which is a rare thing.
53
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,464
About as rare as getting called up
to the majors from single-A ball--
54
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,632
Hey.
Lana.
55
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,468
I assume that was a sports analogy
meant to be cutting...
56
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,263
...but we will take the mission,
won't we, Sterling?
57
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:46,851
Huh? Yeah. Oh, sorry.
It's just I'm worried my entire life...
58
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:48,728
...I've been misusing the word "literally."
59
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:49,937
[INTERCOM BEEPS]
60
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:53,232
CHERYL:
And certainly overusing.
61
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,069
ARCHER: You're not worried?
LANA: Why should I worry?
62
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,780
Because I'm the one
that ripped off Conway's hand?
63
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,325
No. About--
Or that he'll double-cross us again?
64
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,410
Which a blowjob says he does.
65
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,705
And Mother and Slater and the CIA
are idiots for trusting him.
66
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,958
I'm talking about us flying on
the same plane. What if it crashed?
67
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:14,128
Then I wouldn't have had
to watch you pound 20 drinks...
68
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,756
...and then try to talk
the stewardess into a handjob.
69
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:20,217
Where are you getting 20 drinks?
Uh, from 10 doubles?
70
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:24,430
"A," those were mini-bottles
and two, I'm talking about A.J., Lana.
71
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:28,517
Who's going to take care of her
if something happens to both of us?
72
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,854
Well, me. Obviously.
73
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,522
You think.... Heh. Okay, wow.
74
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:38,486
You think, in the event of their deaths,
that you would be A.J.'s legal guardian?
75
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:41,864
Who else would they possibly choose?
You've met yourself, right?
76
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,991
If it's anybody around here, it's me.
77
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,327
Of course.
The one who smokes next to the baby.
78
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,037
Dukes!
79
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,206
[INHALING DEEPLY]
80
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,833
Ray!
81
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,254
You know....
82
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,131
[COUGHS]
83
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,968
All right, Virginia Slim. You're....
84
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,971
Nap time. I have a meeting. Goodbye.
85
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:10,935
Look, don't worry about A.J., okay?
Well, I think one of us should.
86
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,521
No, I--
And I vote for Mother and Woodhouse.
87
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:17,775
To raise my child?
Our child, Lana. And yes. And--
88
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,111
Can we talk about this later?
89
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,948
We're definitely gonna talk about it later,
I can promise you that.
90
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:26,617
And can you promise
that even though Conway--
91
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,953
Literally.
...stabbed you in the back...
92
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:32,373
...that you won't do anything revenge-y
and stupid when he opens the door?
93
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:36,794
Hmm, I want to say....
94
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,673
No! Revenge rampage!
95
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,758
[GROANS]
96
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,510
[YELLS]
97
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,681
[GRUNTING]
98
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,398
[YELLS]
99
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,191
[SCREAMS]
100
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,446
[GROANS]
101
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,864
[HUMMING]
102
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,749
[CHOKING]
103
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,263
[BOTH YELLING]
104
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,850
[PANTING]
105
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,185
[BOTH YELLING]
106
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:41,275
How do you still have two hands?
107
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:44,945
You cyborg son of a b--
108
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,074
You're out of sugar.
109
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,618
[HOARSELY]
Oh, good. You're making tea.
110
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,995
Because I could use some
with honey and lemon.
111
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,163
[COUGHS]
112
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,331
And bourbon.
113
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:59,418
But actually, without the honey and lemon.
And the tea.
114
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,879
So just bourbon.
Yeah, but I doubt if--
115
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,047
[MOANS]
116
00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:05,716
Shut up. Don't ruin it.
I had something for--
117
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:09,011
Puke Skywalker?
Goddamn it.
118
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,514
Anyway, I doubt the robot
has any bourbon...
119
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:15,935
...and I'm not really in the mood
for a WD-40 and Coke.
120
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,521
Unless that is, literally,
the only thing to drink.
121
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:22,650
[CONWAY GROANS]
122
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,318
CONWAY:
I think I might be concussed.
123
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,779
Hell hath no fury, huh?
Meaning?
124
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:31,033
As a woman scorned. Lana, remember?
I kind of scorned you last time we met?
125
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:35,412
Ha, ha. Yeah, you are definitely concussed.
Not to mention a Decepticon.
126
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,415
Where the hell did you get a bionic hand?
Uh....
127
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:43,337
So, what's new? How you been?
128
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,674
Sharper Image?
Uh-huh. Sounds more like Krieger.
129
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:50,261
Jesus Christ. Will he not rest
until we've all been enslaved by Skynet?
130
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,429
Hey, we are leaving in five, so--
131
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:57,726
Right after I enjoy this yerba mate
and caña smoothie, with a WD-40 float.
132
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,562
[COUGHS]
133
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,273
Although enjoy is maybe a bit strong.
134
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,860
Ugh. Conway, grab whatever you need,
presumably some fresh nine-volts...
135
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:09,613
...and let's get this extraction going.
I can't. I don't have the intel yet.
136
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:14,243
What intel? Slater said "extraction."
When he asked us to come rescue you.
137
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:18,164
From what? Your mom's antique vagina?
You son of a....
138
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,082
Hey! Enough, you two!
139
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,459
ARCHER & CONWAY: Tell him that.
Pretty sure I just did.
140
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,795
Now, what and where is this intel?
141
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,924
It's a computer file with the real identity
of every single CIA agent...
142
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:32,761
...operating in Central and South America.
Argentina's using it for leverage...
143
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:36,724
...threatening to trade it to the Soviets.
Wait. Isn't Argentina our ally?
144
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:39,894
You'd think, right?
After we threw them that lovely coup?
145
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,564
The file is on the mainframe
of the Argentine Secret Intelligence Service.
146
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,442
Okay. Here's what we do--
How about maybe let him finish?
147
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:49,236
Hmm. Okay.
But then we go with my plan.
148
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,031
The mainframe is a standalone
in a secure vault.
149
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,742
Hardened, keycard, and retinal scan entry.
150
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:59,079
On the top floor of the Intelligence building,
which is heavily guarded at all times...
151
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,291
...by Argentine special ops
on standing orders to shoot to kill...
152
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,085
...any and all unauthorized personnel.
153
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,588
You mentioned something about a plan?
154
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:12,718
I mean, he obviously thinks he has a plan,
so whatever. Let's hear it.
155
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,012
[TOILET FLUSHING]
156
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,014
[SCATTING]
157
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,349
[YELLS]
158
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,143
Where is it?
Where's what? What are you...?
159
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:25,481
I flushed it.
Ahh! I will kill you.
160
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:28,525
Where you stand.
PAM: Hey.
161
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,820
Is it too much to ask,
during the goddamn work day...
162
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:36,784
...for two separate sessions of 80 uninterrupted
minutes each of quality dump time?
163
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:41,538
I mean, I'm not a labor attorney.
Yes, it is entirely too much to ask.
164
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:45,292
I thought so, yeah. So I'll pass that on
to who or whomever asked.
165
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:49,296
And if you harmed one single hair
on her little brown head, I will--
166
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,965
CHERYL: Whose head?
PAM: Wait, do what?
167
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,509
Baby A.J. She's missing.
168
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,177
PAM: Oh, my God.
CHERYL: Oh, thank God.
169
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,013
And since you are the only one around here
who hates babies--
170
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,266
Just baby people.
171
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,559
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. I'm sure....
172
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,271
Wait. Did you murder the baby?
Uh-uh.
173
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:09,525
No, but, like, swearsie-realsies?
Swearsie-realsies.
174
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,194
And that's pretty sacred to us, so....
175
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,029
[CHERYL GASPS THEN COUGHS]
176
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,739
We'll go help you look for baby A.J.
177
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:16,907
[FARTS]
178
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,785
In, like, five-teen, 40 minutes.
179
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:24,873
And so Conway's plan doesn't strike you
as unnecessarily complicated?
180
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,375
ARCHER:
No, Lana, it doesn't.
181
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:30,796
And it doesn't strike you as "Brazilian
minstrel show meets Trading Places?"
182
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,381
ARCHER:
No, Lana, it doesn't.
183
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:36,385
And that's not just because you get to wear
that ri-dork-ulous facerug?
184
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,221
No, Lana, it--
Look. If I have to pull this car over...
185
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,766
...we're all gonna be murdered, so--
Just get us in the damn garage, man.
186
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,143
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
187
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,562
You're not the boss of me.
Archer, just--
188
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:50,232
Or you. I don't care if you are the president
and first lady of Brazil...
189
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,736
...on a pan-American goodwill tour
of intelligence headquarters.
190
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:57,781
Coronel Lando Calrissiano,
de Las Fuerzas Especiales...
191
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,659
...doesn't work for you.
192
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,412
Although he has nailed his backstory.
Lando Cal--
193
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,913
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
194
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:09,460
Will you shut up? I need to think.
Don't yell at me, I didn't lose her.
195
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,128
Now, just try to retrace your steps.
196
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,130
[FABRIC TEARING]
197
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:17,885
Well, I wasn't in the sofa cushions.
Ahh! Well, you could have said that.
198
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:21,847
I did.
I thought you were being sarcastic!
199
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,808
It is kind of hard to tell with you.
200
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:29,521
ARCHER: Okay, here we go. Conway, shut up,
and try to look semi-presidential.
201
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,067
And, Lana, try to look, actually, yeah.
Matronly. You nailed it.
202
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,276
[CONWAY LAUGHS]
203
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,695
You know....
GUARD: So anyways....
204
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,948
Coronel, heh.
Um, okay.
205
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:41,992
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
206
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,202
Um, bueno.
207
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:47,039
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
208
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,464
"Lando"? "Calrissiano...."
209
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,050
Okay, so here's the thing with that.
210
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,639
Boring conversation anyway.
Goddamn it, Archer!
211
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,600
That's Coronel Calrissiano to you.
212
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:11,063
CONWAY: Archer.
LANA: Don't drive angry.
213
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,901
What the hell are you doing?
I'm Archer-izing this plan.
214
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,653
What? No, no. Uh-uh.
215
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:20,739
You cannot make yourself a verb.
I will not allow it.
216
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:26,412
I'm a verb now, Lana. Deal with it.
And then, also, cover me, please.
217
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,831
Idiotas!
218
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,249
Um....
219
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,419
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
220
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:42,886
[IN ENGLISH]
...on the ground!
221
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,680
Uh, perdón?
222
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:47,558
On the ground, Pyle! What are you...?
223
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,143
Oh. Uh....
224
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:53,605
See how I switched to English?
I was testing him. Good work, Pyle.
225
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,315
[GROANS]
226
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,151
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
227
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,903
How about a big hand for Pyle, gang?
228
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,866
Lana!
Archer!
229
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:07,161
Lana! Lana!
What are you, jealous I'm a verb?
230
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,829
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
231
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:14,710
Jesus Christ, Pyle! I heard you.
Archer!
232
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,712
[ARCHER GRUNTING]
233
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,465
[CRASHING]
234
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,717
What are you doing?
Shooting out the glass.
235
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:25,262
No, no, no! Don't! It's bulletproof.
236
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,434
Archer!
237
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,315
So, uh, how come you and I didn't hook up
last time we worked together?
238
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:40,694
Well, "A," you were too busy banging
Cheryl or Carol or Cristal--
239
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:44,114
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The crazy Jew-Santa chick.
240
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,868
And "B" through "Z,"
because you're a large-diameter dickhole.
241
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:51,413
Mm-hm. Well, you're looking good, girl.
Lot curvier than I remember.
242
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:56,710
I had a baby.
Oh. Sorry. Never mind.
243
00:13:56,878 --> 00:14:00,547
Never mind what?
Like, name it.
244
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,965
You know....
245
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,843
[ARCHER PANTING]
246
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:10,390
So you done Archer-izing?
247
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:22,778
Because, you jackass, to recap,
you locked us in the stupid limo!
248
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:26,782
Well, I still don't see why that means
I'm the one who has to carry Pyle.
249
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:32,204
Well, then slice out his retinas, okay?
I can't. It would kill Lou-Ann.
250
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,124
Oh, and speaking of....
Goddamn it.
251
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,127
[GRUNTING]
252
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,463
Speaking of what?
253
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,508
If something happens to both of us,
who's gonna take care of the baby?
254
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:45,968
[CONWAY CHUCKLES]
255
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,135
Her baby's yours?
256
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:51,557
Can we please put a pin in this?
No, Lana, we can't!
257
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,226
I want to know
why you don't want it to be Mother.
258
00:14:56,062 --> 00:15:00,774
Because how did you lose a baby?
She was right there in the pram.
259
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,443
I made a drink, my furrier called.
260
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:08,365
Spoiler alert, he's robbing me blind. I called
immigration, tried to get his father deported.
261
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,410
I made another drink,
but I was out of ice, so I--
262
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,036
CHERYL: What?
GILLETTE: What is it?
263
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:16,999
Krieger! He was skulking around out there
while I went out to get ice.
264
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,876
Come on, to that Nazi freak's lab.
265
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:25,966
Hey. Are guns really necessary?
Because I'm seriously asking.
266
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,885
LANA: Seriously?
ARCHER: Yes, Lana, seriously.
267
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,388
Why isn't my mother good enough
to raise A.J.?
268
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,974
No! Don't shoot! There's a baby!
269
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:38,645
And why? Why do you have the baby?
Oh, my God.
270
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,731
Okay. So here's the thing with that.
271
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,691
CYRIL: That is a nightmare.
CHERYL: Seriously?
272
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:46,320
GILLETTE: Goddamn, dude.
You were going to make her a robot?
273
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,697
I wish. I mean, no. No.
274
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:54,244
I was doing market research for the TB-800
A.K.A. Cyberneddly Teddly.
275
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:56,913
Oh, please. That's a baby skeleton.
276
00:15:57,081 --> 00:16:01,376
No, but once I figure out how to grow
actual bear tissue to cover it....
277
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,628
Goddamn, dude.
Dude.
278
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,920
Damn. How creepy.
Damn.
279
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:07,299
No, wait. Teddly's here somewhere.
Or was. I swear.
280
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,508
[A.J. CRYING]
281
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,511
Teddly? Teddly?
Cyril, secure the child.
282
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:17,267
And the rest of you, I can't see any benefit
in telling Lana what happened here today.
283
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,477
Understood?
ALL: Yeah.
284
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,854
I'm not saying nothing.
I'm on board for that.
285
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:25,400
And, Krieger, I swear to God,
if I catch you near this child again...
286
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:28,987
But--
...I will shoot you in the genitals...
287
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:33,659
...and then sit here sipping Amontillado sherry
while you bleed to death.
288
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:35,744
Meedeep?
289
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,623
[GROANS]
290
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,922
Tada!
291
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,424
[SIGHS]
292
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,468
[GIGGLES]
293
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:55,222
Yeah, thanks, Mr. Bear-jangles.
294
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,641
[HUMMING]
295
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,810
[SCATTING]
296
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:04,231
Wait, you already knew the code?
ARCHER: Of course he did. He's a cyborg.
297
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,816
It was probably Gaius Baltar's--
298
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,318
[SILENCED GUNFIRE
THEN SCREAMS]
299
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:12,155
Archer? You double-crossing son of a bitch.
300
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:15,617
Called it.
Well, yeah. Come on. We all saw this coming.
301
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,078
Now, drop them.
302
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:21,248
I was gonna say zip code, guys.
303
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,667
Okay, idiots, thanks for helping me
get the disk.
304
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,420
The Soviets are going to pay
out the zadnitsa for this.
305
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,589
But you could have gotten the disk yourself.
Why drag us into it?
306
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:33,885
Well, I knew Dick van Head over there
could pass for a Latino to get us in.
307
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,929
ARCHER: Nailed it.
But mostly for revenge.
308
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:39,683
Remember how you ripped off my hand,
woman?
309
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:43,437
Yeah, vaguely, but if it's revenge you want,
why don't you shoot me?
310
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:47,983
I was going to, but come on.
I'm not a monster. You just had a kid.
311
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,694
ARCHER: Me too, though.
And what are you doing in the window?
312
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:54,698
Base. Jumping. Ha-ha-ha.
This is a parachute.
313
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:58,368
Well, Conway, you win this round.
314
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,829
Who are you? Wait. Hang on.
315
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,039
Horatio Kane.
Goddamn it.
316
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:06,585
But "Kane" obviously spelled--
I got it.
317
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,671
And hey, give me a call
if things don't work out with the kid.
318
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,339
And you lose the baby weight.
319
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,009
[GASPS THEN YELLS]
320
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:17,345
Are you kidding me?
321
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,306
[CONWAY SCREAMS]
322
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:24,728
Yeah. Lose that weight, Conway Stern.
Or whatever your real name is.
323
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:30,358
CONWAY:
I lied. That is my real name.
324
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:36,072
Ma, they got old Lando this time.
I'm done for.
325
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,577
Archer, shut up. You're gonna be okay.
You really think so?
326
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:45,415
I mean, maybe.
Although that can't bode well.
327
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:48,043
You get the disk?
Slater?
328
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:50,378
Did you get the disk?
Yes, idiot.
329
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,546
[COUGHS]
330
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:54,883
And also several bullets so--
Then come on, get in the back.
331
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,843
I got a plane waiting at an airstrip.
332
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,226
So hey, about this blowjob--
Shut up.
333
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,771
Conway was a traitor.
He was gonna sell the disk to the Soviets.
334
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:11,691
Yeah, yeah. We kind of suspected that.
"Kind of?" So you sent us into a--
335
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,319
Wait. So you followed us down here?
336
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,448
Come on. We're not gonna put a couple
of untested rookies in the starting lineup...
337
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:22,077
...of game seven of the world--
Seriously, okay, as I was saying--
338
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,538
Goddamn it, Archer.
I am not giving you a blowjob.
339
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:28,166
Not that. A.J.
If something happens to us.
340
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:31,211
I really don't think that this is the time
to talk about that.
341
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:34,798
When then?
Why don't you want to talk about it, Lana?
342
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,007
[SIGHS]
343
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,177
Because I'm afraid it'll hurt your feelings.
344
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:43,765
Because, if anything happens to me
and just me, Archer...
345
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,976
...then A.J. would live with my parents.
346
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,435
Oh.
347
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,272
Yeah, uh-- I-- I guess that makes sense.
348
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,482
[COUGHING]
349
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:55,235
They're probably pretty old, though, right?
350
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:59,739
And if anything happened to them,
then A.J. would live with my sister.
351
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:06,580
You have a sister?
Ugh. Yes, Archer, I have a sister.
352
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,292
She younger?
353
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,878
[SCREAMS]
29004
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