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1
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45元
2
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30A?
3
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,470
有人说 去大陆的三温暖玩
4
00:01:07,770 --> 00:01:10,640
可以将一个人建立了二十几年的价值观
5
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:15,180
在下半身抖个两下以后 就全抖光了
6
00:01:15,650 --> 00:01:20,150
我没想到 这张45块人民币的火车票
7
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:24,660
原来是一条不归路的入场券
8
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,870
这个故事发生在我25岁那一年
9
00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:54,980
在25岁之前 我是一个很守规矩的人
10
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,440
坚信社会充满爱与和谐
11
00:01:57,820 --> 00:01:59,360
我之所以会这样想
12
00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:03,320
是因为我出身在一个非常和谐的家庭里
13
00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:06,860
机歪臭脸的这个呢 是我妈
14
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,370
她是一间女校的副校长兼训导主任
15
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,370
旁边那个跟我一样戴着眼睛的
16
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,790
就是我老爸
17
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,870
他是水利署的高级主管
18
00:02:17,050 --> 00:02:19,170
说到他跟我老妈之间的关系
19
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,550
只能用"忠心耿耿"四个字来形容
20
00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:29,090
唉呀 你怎么看这种书?
21
00:02:29,270 --> 00:02:32,100
教坏小孩 没收
22
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,480
来 看这本 这本比较好
23
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,530
从小到大我妈一直提倡
24
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,160
言论自由跟民主公正
25
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所以我们家会定期
26
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召开家庭会议
27
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:52,450
下个星期要去大陆几天
28
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:53,540
这次会议记录呢
29
00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:55,580
要等下次开会才能交
30
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,340
你不是才刚从大陆回来?
31
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,340
山区小孩都很缺水可怜的要命
32
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:01,920
义工团怎么能不帮忙?
33
00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:04,050
嗯…那好吧…通过
34
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,260
那么根据议程
35
00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:07,840
如果没有其他要讨论的 散会
36
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,210
妈咪 我有提案
37
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叫主席
38
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:11,260
主席 我有提案
39
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说
40
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我觉得我己经长大啦
41
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所以希望以后收到红包
42
00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:19,310
我可以自己管理
43
00:03:19,610 --> 00:03:21,940
哎呀你还小怎么懂得管理钱呢?
44
00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:22,770
等你长大一点
45
00:03:22,950 --> 00:03:25,230
妈咪答应一定让你自己保管
46
00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:27,780
妈咪 我真的已经长大了啦
47
00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:29,440
好 既然你这么坚持
48
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我尊重你的意见
49
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,370
投票表决
50
00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:36,130
赞成儿子的红包自己保管的举手
51
00:03:38,170 --> 00:03:39,710
反对的呢?
52
00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:46,010
嗯 根据议程 提案被否决
53
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:49,140
如果没有特别的事情呢 散会
54
00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:59,480
如果没有特别的事情呢 散会
55
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,600
主席 我有新提案
56
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,150
说
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我是想…我…
58
00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:08,860
我想自己买内裤
59
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,150
为什么?
60
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,490
妈咪买的内裤有什么不好?
61
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,950
这些是私人物品啊
62
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,580
不对儿子
63
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,790
连大楼外那根水管
64
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是公家的
65
00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:20,630
如果要维修呢
66
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,330
都要先经过大楼管委会通过
67
00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,760
靠 我这根又不是公家的
68
00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:28,250
爸爸 你是说到哪去?
69
00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:30,380
教儿子社会责任啊
70
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,130
爸爸妈咪 我知道啦
71
00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:36,430
但是我都这么大了 也该独立了吧
72
00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:39,390
好啊 我这个人是最民主的
73
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:40,560
投票表决
74
00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:43,820
赞成儿子自己买内裤的举手
75
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,490
反对的呢?
76
00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:50,240
结果已经出来啦
77
00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:53,320
爸爸把决议纪录在会议纪录里
78
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散会
79
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,330
唉…所以没有人比我更不认同
80
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,240
黑箱作业的选举
81
00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:03,500
这么多年来
82
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:06,380
唯一一件不用投票决定的事情
83
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:09,710
就是关于我拒绝去英国念书的事
84
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,800
说穿了还不简单
85
00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:13,760
有哪个父母不希望自己的子女
86
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留在自己身边?
87
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,110
喂喂 干什么啦啊
88
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,560
干什么啦…啊…
89
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,820
我不想去英国的原因
90
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,860
并不是因为我特别孝顺
91
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,580
而是为了我的"女神"…
92
00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:38,250
根据"维琪百科"上
93
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对初恋所下的定义
94
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『是指青春期的少男少女
95
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,080
一种渴望了解异性
96
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接触异性的心理
97
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而并不是真正的爱情』
98
00:05:50,010 --> 00:05:52,920
那么Zoey就是我的初恋
99
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:59,050
哈哈… 呀
100
00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:01,850
打电话叫救护车…
101
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:05,730
哈哈 被男人婆偷桃会衰十年
102
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,360
大家要小心唷 不要给他带屎
103
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有爽没?嗯?
104
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,530
我们走吧… 好 走
105
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,960
可是他穿过铁道
106
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:28,290
要爬上那边月台 就不容易了
107
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:30,710
他用两手攀着上面 两脚再向上缩
108
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,670
我一直都搞不懂 为什么朱自清
109
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看到他老头的背影要这么感动
110
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上这课《背影》 我真的是没什么感觉
111
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,180
但是这个背影 就不一样啦
112
00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:46,010
我的泪很快地流下来了
113
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,350
我赶紧拭干了泪
114
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怕他看见 也怕别人看见
115
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,780
我再向外看时
116
00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:58,620
他已抱了朱红的橘子往回走了
117
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过铁道时 他先将橘子散放在地上
118
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,660
那一刻 我可以非常肯定的说
119
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我已经长大了
120
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:10,160
而且是长得非常屌了
121
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,210
当年网路没有现在这么发达
122
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:17,250
青少年想要看一些"死杯修"(特别的)
123
00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:20,050
最简单最方便的方法
124
00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:21,640
就是去找书报摊偷偷在卖的
125
00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:23,930
这种一周刊或美滑报导
126
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在看什么?
127
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排队啦
128
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一起看嘛
129
00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:31,570
排队啦 干
130
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,030
放学在门口等我
131
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这个还没有发育完全的矮冬瓜叫王静
132
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,120
他是我高中唯一的麻吉
133
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:50,120
王静人如其名 很静
134
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半天也打不出个屁来
135
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不过他总是不说则已 一说惊人
136
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他是世界上最了解我的人
137
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干 简直就像在我心里装了窃听器
138
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:04,060
啊 说真的 这么多年来
139
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:06,220
我从来没看过王静的正面
140
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,110
就好像我永远都看不透他…
141
00:08:12,570 --> 00:08:15,400
哗 夕树舞子?
142
00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:25,740
要比大 这个洋妞才够大
143
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,620
这个时候 我才真正了解
144
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,840
大奶是什么意思
145
00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:35,040
所以 思想正面又热心激励朋友的王静
146
00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:37,880
绝对是除了《一周刊》跟《水果日报》之外
147
00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:40,550
我的另一个性启蒙导师
148
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好东西 看完要还我
149
00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:47,310
这么多年来 一直没机会问王静
150
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,890
为什么当年毛都还没长齐的他
151
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,900
竟然会这么早熟?
152
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:55,100
他丰富的性知识是谁传授给他的?
153
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,150
是从彩虹频道?
154
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:58,690
还是洪爷论坛
155
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:00,450
里面的讨论呢?
156
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:03,950
这是一个永远没人知道的谜
157
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,100
我好乐意为你服务
158
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只要能够令你舒服
159
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:15,720
我就会感到好满足 好自豪
160
00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:17,310
你真是好人
161
00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:20,190
我真系好淫…
162
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,250
舒服嘛?
163
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,350
真系舒服嘛?
164
00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,140
真的很舒服
165
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,100
真的?真系舒服嘛?
166
00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:47,370
真的?真的?
167
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,330
真系舒服嘛?
168
00:11:59,210 --> 00:12:00,450
辛苦了
169
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:35,580
咦?老爸 你不是要陪妈去吃饭?
170
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:37,080
怎么自己先回来了
171
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:39,990
喔…我肚子痛好像落屎了
172
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:41,700
你吃了没?
173
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,250
喔 吃饱了
174
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:54,010
干 这个时候给我卡带
175
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:57,010
喂 外面什么声音劈哩啪啦的啊?
176
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:59,430
哦没有 电视里的声音啦
177
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,990
红色的好看
178
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:11,690
坐啦
179
00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:12,530
妈咪
180
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,110
儿子 你怎么啦?
181
00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:15,700
满头大汗的?怎么了 发烧啦?
182
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,780
妈咪 不要过来
183
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,320
我刚做完运动
184
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:20,790
等一下就好了
185
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,380
唉哟 去穿件衣服啦 很难看耶
186
00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:26,010
哎呀从小看到大了
187
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,540
又不是没看过
188
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,550
给阿姨补一下啰
189
00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:32,630
儿子你在搞什么鬼啊?
190
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,140
怎么会有内裤掉在客厅里?
191
00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:38,680
嗯…刚刚…老爸冲进来说他落屎
192
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,440
一进门就脱裤子啦
193
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:42,190
喔 你老爸真是的
194
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,390
再怎么急 也不能乱脱裤
195
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:45,020
真见笑
196
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:48,400
没关系 落屎落下去哪管得了啊 对吧
197
00:13:48,570 --> 00:13:50,280
对呀我们不怕生目针啦
198
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:53,910
开电视啦我想看韩剧啦
199
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,240
儿子 有没有看到遥控器?
200
00:13:56,410 --> 00:13:58,530
遥控?没看到…
201
00:13:58,710 --> 00:13:59,490
算了算了 赶快打吧
202
00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:01,080
一天没看也不会死
203
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:04,910
好啦好啦不要看就多打几圈
204
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,550
哇 嫌电影难看也不用这样吧
205
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,550
Happy呢?
206
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,710
Happy不要到处跑 快过来 乖喔
207
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,350
我真的没想到第一个
208
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,390
吞我豆浆的女人竟然是…
209
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:28,980
更想不到的是她好像很爱这味的…
210
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:32,110
快点在等你呢
211
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,980
喂 儿子呀 你去拿点饮料来
212
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,450
啊?
213
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:38,780
啊什么啊 招待客人呀
214
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,160
哦…我…
215
00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:41,290
我什么啦?
216
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,750
你今天怎么了 这么奇怪?
217
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,370
妈咪啊 你一天到晚叫我
218
00:14:47,550 --> 00:14:48,630
用功读书
219
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:49,840
可是每次我要看书的时候
220
00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,470
你就约打牌
221
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,380
叫我怎么集中精神呢?
222
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,920
你说一套做一套
223
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,050
我真的受不了你了
224
00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:59,470
唉呀 你儿子说得对啦
225
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,760
不如换来我家打吧
226
00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:04,270
对啦对啦 现在的小孩难得这么用功
227
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,770
让他专心读书… 走啦走啦
228
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,280
好啦 是妈咪不对 下次不会了
229
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,060
嗯 谢谢妈咪
230
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:18,820
嗯?有什么事吗?
231
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:19,780
有人投诉
232
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,410
你们乱丢东西到楼下
233
00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:23,620
怎么会?我们都在打麻将
234
00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:26,410
这个遥控器是你们家的吗
235
00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:29,330
遥控器每个不都长得一样
236
00:15:29,670 --> 00:15:32,130
你刚刚不是说找不到遥控器吗?
237
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:33,670
会不会真的是你们家的?
238
00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:35,670
员警先生你要查清楚
239
00:15:35,850 --> 00:15:38,260
电器我是不懂 我问我儿子
240
00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:40,300
儿子 这遥控器是我们家的吗?
241
00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:43,090
呢…不是这种的
242
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,680
你看我就说吧
243
00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:47,390
这个遥控器不是我们家的
244
00:15:47,570 --> 00:15:50,480
老婆 不用讲这么啦 试一下就知道
245
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:53,270
喔 烂成这样不能用了
246
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:58,190
我会搞定
247
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,230
老爸
248
00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:21,220
这件事发生了以后
249
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:23,720
我妈就没再开过家庭会议
250
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,730
也没人提过这件事
251
00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:28,810
更赞的是不像以前管东管西
252
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:31,850
我终于像黑奴一样被解放了
253
00:16:32,150 --> 00:16:34,020
不过…从此街头巷尾
254
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,400
没有人不认识我了
255
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,080
你只有16岁 人生路很长
256
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,790
找个喜欢的人嘿琳
257
00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:49,960
以后就不用DIY啰
258
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:52,000
哪有这么简单
259
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,510
天下无难事 只怕有心人
260
00:16:55,970 --> 00:16:57,130
等我好消息吧
261
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,550
王静非常冷静的
262
00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,840
给了我一个小雨衣
263
00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:02,050
就淡淡定定的走了
264
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,720
老实说 如果不是有一次
265
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:06,130
我在我爸的房间看过
266
00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:07,770
一定会以为王静给我的
267
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,900
是口香糖 然后塞到嘴里
268
00:17:10,270 --> 00:17:12,310
其实王静应该连包装盒都给我
269
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:14,270
至少里面有说明书
270
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:16,240
儿子 电话
271
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:19,280
当时王静叫我等他
272
00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:21,440
我也没问他到底要等什么朋友
273
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:22,320
只知道 他当天晚上
274
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,160
打过来 劈头就说
275
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,280
搞定了 放鞭炮吧
276
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,080
为什么搞定
277
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,620
就要放鞭炮呢?
278
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,580
难道不能打打炮就好吗?
279
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,290
妈的 放鞭炮
280
00:17:36,470 --> 00:17:37,920
一定要去野外吗?
281
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,630
去野外就是会碰到脏东西
282
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,720
我的脑袋一片空白
283
00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,550
完全不了他在搞屁?
284
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,590
后来 他说他约了Zoey
285
00:17:45,770 --> 00:17:48,760
我整个给他清醒过来 哇靠
286
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,650
原来 真的要去野外
287
00:17:54,110 --> 00:17:56,400
也真的是碰到了"脏东西"
288
00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:57,770
喂我来帮你吧
289
00:17:57,950 --> 00:18:00,310
我没有问王静到底是怎么约到Zoey的
290
00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:01,450
我已经爽翻天了
291
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,320
根本不会去想这个问题
292
00:18:03,490 --> 00:18:04,230
我帮你吧
293
00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:06,150
喔 我自己来就好
294
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,820
你OK吗
295
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,330
喔 喝点咳嗽药水就好了
296
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,840
我满脑子在想要怎么制造机会去用
297
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,920
那个不能吃的神秘口香糖
298
00:18:18,090 --> 00:18:19,080
这给你用
299
00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,890
香肠快熟了刷烤肉酱吧
300
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,100
阿珍走吧
301
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:31,890
黑漆妈乌去哪啦?
302
00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:33,350
聊心事
303
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,010
啊 聊心事?
304
00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:37,350
我喜欢 阿珍 阿珍
305
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,230
哈 真超不够意思的
306
00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:42,440
对呀
307
00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:46,480
要不要听音乐
308
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:47,870
好啊好啊
309
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:55,330
我拿饮料给你喝
310
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:57,130
好啊谢谢
311
00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:00,500
记住 要灌她酒
312
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,010
等她喝挂以后就…嘿嘿嘿
313
00:19:04,180 --> 00:19:05,260
是不是有啤酒?
314
00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:06,390
有…
315
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,260
喝啤酒吧 好啊
316
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,350
干杯
317
00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:21,350
再来
318
00:19:21,530 --> 00:19:23,440
啊?你还要喝喔?
319
00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:25,400
你也陪我喝嘛
320
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,190
哦好…
321
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:33,620
干杯
322
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:40,620
再来
323
00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:42,380
啊?你可以吗?
324
00:19:42,550 --> 00:19:44,880
没事啦 你会看着我呀
325
00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:48,710
当然…当然看着你…
326
00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:50,630
全身都会看
327
00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:01,610
你酒量没问题吧?
328
00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:04,860
没问题 我是酒国英雄
329
00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:12,450
谁说我不能喝?再来啊
330
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:21,090
还有呀 有没有人说过…
331
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,220
你有两个头 四个咪咪…
332
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,300
你好美喔
333
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:30,050
你没事吧?我扶你进去休息吧
334
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,340
我没事
335
00:20:52,870 --> 00:20:55,830
有屁快放啦 不是要说心事?
336
00:20:56,330 --> 00:20:57,820
月亮代表我的心
337
00:20:58,170 --> 00:20:58,830
什么?
338
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,620
你相信有外星人吗?
339
00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:02,870
有没有搞错?
340
00:21:03,050 --> 00:21:04,630
三更半夜叫我来这个鬼地方
341
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,540
画唬烂 去死啦
342
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,680
我有解剖外星人的影片 要不要看?
343
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:09,840
去吃屎啦
344
00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:11,510
Low咖
345
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:35,990
你好漂亮
346
00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:37,870
真的?
347
00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:41,250
嗯 其实 你不知道
348
00:21:41,420 --> 00:21:43,040
我一直很喜欢你
349
00:21:43,710 --> 00:21:46,130
你可以…当我女朋友吗?
350
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,460
好啊好啊
351
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:19,990
终于搞定
352
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:20,950
木已成舟
353
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:22,580
王静 你回来啦
354
00:24:42,770 --> 00:24:47,100
老公 你很坏哟
355
00:24:48,980 --> 00:24:51,570
可乐 啤酒 咳嗽药水…
356
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:54,070
超强三合一 我宝贵的第一次
357
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,030
就白白断送在一个恐龙妹身上
358
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,400
本来当晚我想直接给自己一个了断
359
00:25:00,580 --> 00:25:02,240
但是 他们三个人发毒誓说
360
00:25:02,410 --> 00:25:04,780
绝对不会告诉别人
361
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,490
我才回心转意
362
00:25:06,670 --> 00:25:09,780
不过你以为她们说我就会信喔
363
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,790
我又不是白痴
364
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,210
喂 鬼鬼祟祟 在干嘛?
365
00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:15,840
别走啊 Frankie
366
00:25:16,010 --> 00:25:18,250
厚…今天干嘛 要去抢银行喔?
367
00:25:18,430 --> 00:25:20,640
戴帽子 戴墨镜 戴口罩 啊?
368
00:25:20,810 --> 00:25:21,640
这样你也认得?
369
00:25:21,810 --> 00:25:23,920
化成灰我也认得
370
00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:27,270
哎呀 懒得理你 进教室啰
371
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,560
你丢人啊你
372
00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:32,850
啊?什么事?
373
00:25:33,030 --> 00:25:34,860
我有情报 你…
374
00:25:35,030 --> 00:25:36,940
英文考试不及格
375
00:25:37,740 --> 00:25:38,320
只有这样吗?
376
00:25:38,490 --> 00:25:39,650
这样还不够完蛋喔?
377
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:40,480
别跟他说了
378
00:25:40,660 --> 00:25:42,370
上课快迟到了 走吧
379
00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:47,860
唉…老实说就算射到墙上
380
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,580
也不想便宜那个恐龙妹
381
00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:51,040
就当成不小心在马桶上
382
00:25:51,210 --> 00:25:53,580
喷到了一蛇屎
383
00:25:56,510 --> 00:25:57,870
你说犯了什么错?
384
00:25:58,140 --> 00:25:59,000
讲脏话
385
00:25:59,550 --> 00:26:01,040
好 我要处罚你
386
00:26:01,220 --> 00:26:02,050
回去罚写一千次
387
00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:03,460
"我以后不讲脏话"
388
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,470
想不到他们三个真的这么讲信用
389
00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:08,140
下次就要记大过
390
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:18,440
老公 人家今天穿丁字裤喔
391
00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:19,520
哈恐龙妹你也射得进去
392
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:21,530
超强屠龙勇士啊
393
00:26:25,830 --> 00:26:27,160
够了
394
00:26:30,830 --> 00:26:34,040
吃恐龙妹衰效到死啦
395
00:26:42,850 --> 00:26:45,710
那一次 是我最后一次看到Zoey
396
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:49,720
因为那天我做了一个
397
00:26:49,850 --> 00:26:51,760
非常重要的决定
398
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,650
我要去英国 明天就走
399
00:26:56,110 --> 00:26:57,270
我跟很多人一样
400
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:58,810
以为去了欧洲
401
00:26:58,990 --> 00:27:00,900
很容易泡到"金丝猫"
402
00:27:01,370 --> 00:27:03,230
但现实往往是残酷的…
403
00:27:04,370 --> 00:27:06,780
有什么比碰到一个恐龙妹更惨的事?
404
00:27:06,950 --> 00:27:09,820
就是碰到一堆恐龙妹
405
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,780
原来不比不知道
406
00:27:12,210 --> 00:27:13,620
有时候想一想
407
00:27:13,790 --> 00:27:17,540
阿珍其实也…不算太差啦
408
00:27:23,050 --> 00:27:26,390
当然 否极总是会泰来的
409
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,390
Margaret是中英混血儿
410
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,770
是我在英国唯一的女朋友
411
00:27:30,890 --> 00:27:33,760
喔 严格来说 她是我的初恋
412
00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:35,470
很多人都很羡慕
413
00:27:35,650 --> 00:27:37,610
我的初恋情人
414
00:27:37,780 --> 00:27:40,610
长得这么正点
415
00:27:45,370 --> 00:27:47,030
差一点靠…
416
00:27:48,540 --> 00:27:50,620
过来坐 一起看比赛…
417
00:28:11,350 --> 00:28:13,090
唉 射门啊
418
00:28:16,690 --> 00:28:18,270
好啦 不要生气嘛
419
00:28:18,900 --> 00:28:21,310
这个决赛 我真的很想看
420
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,150
好啦 我关电视
421
00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:40,410
对不起啦…
422
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:42,580
再来一次
423
00:29:59,540 --> 00:30:02,460
饥渴女Margaret跟我一样都是足球球迷
424
00:30:02,630 --> 00:30:03,040
但是没想到
425
00:30:03,210 --> 00:30:05,700
她连自慰都这么有足球拖延战术的味道
426
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:10,380
喜欢在禁区周边搓来搓去
427
00:30:22,730 --> 00:30:25,900
我决定向我的另一个偶像贝克汉姆学习
428
00:30:26,070 --> 00:30:28,530
要来一个 老汉推车
429
00:30:32,450 --> 00:30:34,410
结果Margaret被我压断了一只手
430
00:30:34,580 --> 00:30:36,110
送上救护车
431
00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:39,580
我发现"英国茶"并不适合
432
00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:42,580
像我这种传统的炎黄子孙
433
00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:45,590
所以再也没想过洋枪洋炮的事了
434
00:30:46,090 --> 00:30:47,300
毕业后回到台湾
435
00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:49,330
进了一家跨国公司
436
00:30:49,510 --> 00:30:51,250
做市场销售的工作
437
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,090
喂…"魏君子"又来啦
438
00:30:53,260 --> 00:30:55,090
雪白红豆奶
439
00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:56,630
一人摸一奶
440
00:30:56,810 --> 00:30:57,890
玩完说拜拜
441
00:30:58,060 --> 00:30:59,100
这个胖子
442
00:30:59,270 --> 00:31:00,380
就是我在英国念书的学长
443
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,050
加室友 James
444
00:31:02,230 --> 00:31:05,100
James的嗜好是嫖妓 兴趣是骂脏话
445
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,520
在我的位置上搞什么鬼呀?
446
00:31:07,690 --> 00:31:08,930
喂 先过来看看
447
00:31:09,110 --> 00:31:10,440
你这个位子超隐密的
448
00:31:10,610 --> 00:31:12,780
干你娘 当然是看赞的耶
449
00:31:12,950 --> 00:31:14,740
不然叫你看经济推动方案喔
450
00:31:14,910 --> 00:31:15,870
赛后报告?
451
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,400
什么赛后报告?你们在看赛马?
452
00:31:19,660 --> 00:31:22,500
也是动物频道 不过是鸡 不是马
453
00:31:22,670 --> 00:31:23,580
差很大的
454
00:31:23,750 --> 00:31:25,710
别说我有好康的 没嘎你到相报
455
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,290
这个网站包含整个大中华的鸡市情报
456
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:31,130
尤其这个"魏君子"
457
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:34,040
他的报告不单是图文并茂
458
00:31:34,220 --> 00:31:35,960
十八般武艺都有
459
00:31:36,140 --> 00:31:38,380
称得上是"吃好到相报"
460
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,890
在炮兵团的心目中他根本就不是人
461
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:44,640
他是我们心目中的神
462
00:31:44,980 --> 00:31:47,470
第一 我不属于你们炮兵团
463
00:31:47,650 --> 00:31:49,310
第二 你们这些人
464
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,320
老是用我的电脑看些有的没的
465
00:31:51,490 --> 00:31:54,480
喂 拜托一下 公司有很多女同事
466
00:31:54,660 --> 00:31:55,490
收敛一点吧
467
00:31:55,660 --> 00:31:57,150
欸 我跟你说
468
00:31:57,330 --> 00:31:59,160
这年头女人 比男人更色
469
00:31:59,330 --> 00:32:02,540
你这个憨览奥梨仔假苹果落翅仔装在室
470
00:32:02,710 --> 00:32:04,820
不然这样 下次带你去试试
471
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,370
谢谢了 你们自己去
472
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:08,160
玩得开心点 不要烦我
473
00:32:08,340 --> 00:32:09,200
少来这一套
474
00:32:09,380 --> 00:32:11,590
我就不相信有猫不吃腥
475
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,040
没有吃过鲍鱼
476
00:32:13,220 --> 00:32:16,050
永远不知道它跟九孔有什么差别
477
00:32:16,470 --> 00:32:18,050
兄弟 听我的
478
00:32:18,430 --> 00:32:20,340
不用再浪费时间去把妹
479
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,350
跟我开开心心的去嫖个妓吧
480
00:32:25,270 --> 00:32:25,980
Frankie
481
00:32:26,150 --> 00:32:28,810
这个一脸恰北北的大奶鬼见愁
482
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:31,940
是老板的女儿兼我们上司Susan
483
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,690
下午有个客户 是从澳大利亚过来的
484
00:32:34,990 --> 00:32:35,850
你去招呼一下
485
00:32:36,070 --> 00:32:38,070
Susan姐 我买了你最喜欢的
486
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,570
蓝莓乳酪蛋糕
487
00:32:39,740 --> 00:32:40,570
等一下拿给你吧
488
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:42,360
呃?吃那个很容易胖耶
489
00:32:42,540 --> 00:32:45,080
放心 这是低糖低卡路里的
490
00:32:46,130 --> 00:32:48,540
如果James出生在康熙年间
491
00:32:48,710 --> 00:32:50,540
我肯定韦小宝都要靠边闪
492
00:32:50,710 --> 00:32:52,380
你是不是有特别搭配过?
493
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:53,960
哪有呀
494
00:32:54,130 --> 00:32:55,210
说到好像很了解我的样子
495
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:59,250
喔 还有件事 James也不是只会拍马屁
496
00:32:59,430 --> 00:33:03,220
至少他间接帮我搞定了一个外国大客户
497
00:33:08,730 --> 00:33:10,140
另外 要请你帮个忙
498
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:11,310
我想"找妓女"
499
00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:13,230
你有没有门路?
500
00:33:13,570 --> 00:33:14,400
唔…
501
00:33:15,030 --> 00:33:17,900
你不知道吗?
502
00:33:18,780 --> 00:33:21,740
算了吧 虽然 我本人否定"找妓女"
503
00:33:21,910 --> 00:33:23,150
我认为这是一种教育部长说的
504
00:33:23,330 --> 00:33:25,490
罄竹难书 的行为
505
00:33:25,670 --> 00:33:27,120
但是为了保住这个客户
506
00:33:27,250 --> 00:33:29,240
也基于中国人的好客之道
507
00:33:29,420 --> 00:33:32,910
决定把之前James说的情色网页
508
00:33:33,130 --> 00:33:35,620
跟这个老外做无私的分享
509
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,250
看起来很不错呀
510
00:33:37,430 --> 00:33:38,590
服务怎样呢?
511
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,300
BBBJTCNQNS不是问题
512
00:33:41,470 --> 00:33:43,930
BBBJ…什么?
513
00:33:44,180 --> 00:33:46,050
Bare back blow - job to completion
514
00:33:46,230 --> 00:33:47,930
no quit no spit
515
00:33:48,100 --> 00:33:50,890
但中文叫…
516
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,600
"口爆" 口爆?
517
00:33:53,780 --> 00:33:55,730
听起来不错
518
00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:57,360
我们是不是应该试一下?
519
00:33:57,530 --> 00:33:58,570
我们可以走了吗?
520
00:33:58,740 --> 00:33:59,600
有多远呀?
521
00:33:59,780 --> 00:34:01,440
是怎么说?口爆?
522
00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:03,280
真的?
523
00:34:03,450 --> 00:34:06,450
是不是…口爆?
524
00:34:06,620 --> 00:34:08,200
口爆
525
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:11,160
有时候缘分就是这么奇妙
526
00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:14,000
虽然我在这么糗的情况下认识了Zeta
527
00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:16,960
不过还好 我很机灵的把所有罪状
528
00:34:17,130 --> 00:34:18,870
都推了给那个死老外
529
00:34:19,050 --> 00:34:20,460
想不到她居然相信
530
00:34:20,850 --> 00:34:22,510
不知道是她傻傻分不清
531
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,470
还是故意…跟我装傻呢?
532
00:34:26,270 --> 00:34:29,310
2011年4月16号
533
00:34:29,690 --> 00:34:31,640
下午三点之前的这一分钟
534
00:34:32,020 --> 00:34:33,310
我跟你在一起
535
00:34:33,940 --> 00:34:36,650
因为你 我会记得这一分钟
536
00:34:37,030 --> 00:34:39,360
只可惜这一分钟过得太快
537
00:34:39,820 --> 00:34:41,780
如果上天再给我一次机会
538
00:34:41,990 --> 00:34:45,110
我会跟那女孩说三个字 我爱你
539
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:48,490
如果非要为这份爱加上一个期限的话
540
00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,750
我希望是一万年
541
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,870
我突然间想起 张爱玲说过:
542
00:34:55,050 --> 00:34:57,540
往往最刻骨铭心的爱恋
543
00:34:57,720 --> 00:35:00,210
通常都是没有好结果
544
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,670
没关系 因为张小娴也曾说过:
545
00:35:03,850 --> 00:35:06,630
爱情是自我完善的一个阶段
546
00:35:06,810 --> 00:35:08,800
我们在经历自己的人生
547
00:35:08,980 --> 00:35:11,340
受过伤害 也伤害过别人
548
00:35:11,730 --> 00:35:15,270
欢欣 沮丧 失望 思念 等待
549
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,100
受尽煎敖 然后豁然明白
550
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:19,860
得失并不重要
551
00:35:20,030 --> 00:35:23,570
最重要是你长大了 变聪明了
552
00:35:23,740 --> 00:35:27,610
你变得精采 你的人生从此不一样了
553
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,360
是不是很想吐?
554
00:35:29,540 --> 00:35:31,530
我自己听到都鸡皮疙瘩都掉满地
555
00:35:31,710 --> 00:35:35,290
还好啦 爱情本来就会把人搞到脑残
556
00:35:35,460 --> 00:35:38,700
就像人家说的这叫性器(兴趣)相投啰
557
00:35:39,260 --> 00:35:41,670
不只这样 Zeta还有一份
558
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,210
让所有男人爽到爆
559
00:35:44,390 --> 00:35:46,380
忍不住伸出拇指按个赞的职业
560
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:50,590
最重要的是
561
00:35:50,770 --> 00:35:53,560
她是我唯一的知音啊
562
00:35:53,730 --> 00:35:58,270
恭喜你 恭喜你
563
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,810
宝贝 生日快乐
564
00:36:00,570 --> 00:36:02,610
哇 好甜蜜呀
565
00:36:02,780 --> 00:36:04,940
你身为Zeta的男朋友
566
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,900
当然要唱首歌送给她听啦 对不对?
567
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,070
好啊 我想听唱歌…
568
00:36:09,290 --> 00:36:11,030
我唱很烂耶
569
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:12,750
我帮你点
570
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,410
只唱一首喔
571
00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:16,750
我也要 也帮我点
572
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:18,960
OK OK 等一下喔
573
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:38,440
落力为你好 得不到分数
574
00:36:38,610 --> 00:36:42,320
你决定要跟他日后同步
575
00:36:42,490 --> 00:36:48,110
他不懂爱惜你 我乐意操劳
576
00:36:50,370 --> 00:36:54,030
我决意爱他 祝我愉快吧
577
00:36:54,210 --> 00:36:58,000
你最明白我痛极亦留下
578
00:36:58,170 --> 00:37:02,500
伤得很重也不怕 我愿意等他
579
00:37:02,670 --> 00:37:05,130
干 杀猪也没这么难听
580
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:07,460
还看着你 他会感动吗
581
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,050
看你在悬崖走路
582
00:37:16,730 --> 00:37:18,270
哎呀 你先去洗澡
583
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,350
我刚刚才洗完澡呀
584
00:37:20,650 --> 00:37:21,860
不洗就不做喔
585
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,190
嗯…遵命
586
00:37:31,370 --> 00:37:33,740
记得那里要洗干净一点喔
587
00:37:33,910 --> 00:37:34,990
喔
588
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,660
记得刷完牙要用嗽口水嗽一下
589
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,500
哦
590
00:37:45,470 --> 00:37:46,210
搞定
591
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:47,470
你在干吗?
592
00:37:47,930 --> 00:37:48,670
没有
593
00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:50,010
没有?
594
00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:52,010
干嘛把我写的PO上去?
595
00:37:52,310 --> 00:37:53,510
好东西大家分享啰
596
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:54,970
不要啦 赶快删掉
597
00:37:55,140 --> 00:37:56,100
不可以
598
00:37:56,270 --> 00:37:58,760
你删删看呀 删就不做
599
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,610
搭拉 搞定
600
00:38:14,410 --> 00:38:18,410
嗯 及格
601
00:38:21,670 --> 00:38:23,410
这次不要关灯好不好?
602
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:24,960
那不要做
603
00:38:25,130 --> 00:38:27,040
好啦好啦
604
00:38:30,930 --> 00:38:32,390
这里不准亲啦
605
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,880
这里也不行啊
606
00:38:35,430 --> 00:38:36,420
亲一下下
607
00:38:36,890 --> 00:38:38,980
你知道我对口水会过敏的
608
00:38:39,730 --> 00:38:40,430
干亲就好啦
609
00:38:40,610 --> 00:38:41,310
NO
610
00:38:41,860 --> 00:38:43,560
好好…
611
00:38:44,070 --> 00:38:45,310
戴套子吧
612
00:38:46,740 --> 00:38:49,070
可是…还不够硬
613
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:50,820
不然用嘴巴帮我
614
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,740
好啊 用你的嘴
615
00:39:39,790 --> 00:39:41,780
啊 有人回应了
616
00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:45,080
不用管我你继续
617
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,160
我就说嘛 你看
618
00:40:23,330 --> 00:40:25,240
才一下子就这么多人按赞
619
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:29,200
"我男友的好文分享"?
620
00:40:29,380 --> 00:40:30,960
Z小姐是你吗?
621
00:40:31,130 --> 00:40:32,870
嗯 我是你的女朋友
622
00:40:33,050 --> 00:40:34,460
当然要第一个支持你
623
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,670
我永远都是你的头号粉丝
624
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:40,840
可以再来一次吗
625
00:40:41,020 --> 00:40:42,350
色情狂
626
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,020
这次可以不关灯吗?
627
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:48,560
那就不做 好啦好啦…
628
00:40:48,690 --> 00:40:51,980
金赛博士说过:和谐的性生活
629
00:40:52,150 --> 00:40:54,570
是两性感情中的润滑剂
630
00:40:54,950 --> 00:40:58,190
如果一对情侣长期性生活不协调
631
00:40:58,370 --> 00:41:01,280
就会积压怨恨跟愤怒的负面情绪
632
00:41:01,450 --> 00:41:03,370
很容易为了小事而争执
633
00:41:03,580 --> 00:41:06,870
轻则感情破裂 重则有生命危险…
634
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,280
有必要小题大作吗?
635
00:41:08,460 --> 00:41:09,370
我小题大作?
636
00:41:25,060 --> 00:41:25,970
只是MSN
637
00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:27,730
我忘记打笑脸的表情符号而已嘛
638
00:41:27,900 --> 00:41:28,640
又忘记
639
00:41:28,820 --> 00:41:29,600
我讲了几次
640
00:41:29,770 --> 00:41:30,760
这是基本礼貌
641
00:41:30,940 --> 00:41:32,150
他妈的 我平常连句号都不打
642
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,810
打什么靠么的笑脸啊
643
00:41:33,990 --> 00:41:35,650
你骂我脏话?
644
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:38,900
我是骂脏话 但是我不是骂你
645
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,400
你没救了你
646
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,910
失恋对我的打击很大
647
00:41:51,460 --> 00:41:54,000
人在最失意寂寞的时候
648
00:41:54,260 --> 00:41:56,370
通常会想到以前最好的麻吉
649
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,090
我当然想到了他
650
00:41:58,260 --> 00:41:59,590
恭喜你
651
00:42:03,770 --> 00:42:07,600
旧的不去新的怎么会来
652
00:42:09,690 --> 00:42:11,100
成长没有让我忘记
653
00:42:11,270 --> 00:42:13,310
王静是我最好的朋友
654
00:42:13,650 --> 00:42:14,480
这么多年来
655
00:42:14,650 --> 00:42:16,980
我一直跟王静保持联络
656
00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,940
他毕业以后常常有机会到深圳工作
657
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,190
不知道是不是吃太多地沟油
658
00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:25,900
忽然第二期发育 变成了一个玉树临风
659
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,950
高大英俊的男人
660
00:42:29,540 --> 00:42:30,950
西进泡妞 ?
661
00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:33,660
泡妞不在乎距离
662
00:42:34,210 --> 00:42:35,670
我们要建立一个
663
00:42:36,010 --> 00:42:38,000
"一小时性生活圈"
664
00:42:39,050 --> 00:42:41,040
一小时性生活圈?
665
00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:43,670
简单的七个字却让我充满憧憬
666
00:42:43,850 --> 00:42:45,800
人生重新燃起了希望
667
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,220
这样做不只可以促进经济
668
00:42:48,390 --> 00:42:49,600
改善两岸关系
669
00:42:49,770 --> 00:42:52,310
还可以进一步加强文化交流
670
00:42:52,610 --> 00:42:53,850
既然我现在是单身
671
00:42:54,030 --> 00:42:55,690
就不需要有任何顾虑
672
00:42:55,860 --> 00:42:58,690
我决定负起这个重责大任
673
00:43:03,410 --> 00:43:04,190
这边请
674
00:43:23,430 --> 00:43:25,420
先生就这里
675
00:43:28,020 --> 00:43:30,010
喂 我们不是打电话来订沙发区
676
00:43:30,190 --> 00:43:31,220
为什么要站着
677
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:32,510
你们太晚来了
678
00:43:32,690 --> 00:43:34,390
沙发让给其他熟客
679
00:43:37,530 --> 00:43:38,860
那张明明没人坐啊
680
00:43:39,030 --> 00:43:41,390
跟你们一样…迟到啊
681
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:43,730
如果你们上道
682
00:43:43,910 --> 00:43:45,400
我也会很上道的啊
683
00:43:45,580 --> 00:43:47,660
那怎么办?尽快安排
684
00:43:48,870 --> 00:43:49,830
没问题…这边 走这边…
685
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:54,330
请…这边…
686
00:43:58,090 --> 00:43:58,920
请坐
687
00:44:00,550 --> 00:44:01,380
啤酒
688
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,170
喔好 先帮你来两手
689
00:44:06,890 --> 00:44:08,750
搞什么鬼啊
690
00:44:08,890 --> 00:44:10,300
那家伙明明想A钱
691
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,060
什么上不上道
692
00:44:12,650 --> 00:44:14,810
出来玩…不要计较这么多
693
00:44:14,980 --> 00:44:16,270
尤其在这里
694
00:44:21,950 --> 00:44:23,060
来了
695
00:44:23,570 --> 00:44:25,060
自己介绍
696
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:30,660
嗨 我叫Frankie
697
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,570
嗨 "番茄"喔 我叫Dolphin
698
00:44:33,790 --> 00:44:34,780
豆饼?
699
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:36,120
我是Jacqueline(夹克您)
700
00:44:36,290 --> 00:44:37,910
Checkin 我是Yamade(亚美碟)
701
00:44:38,090 --> 00:44:39,250
也有Yamede
702
00:44:39,420 --> 00:44:41,080
怎么不叫"Kimochi"
703
00:44:41,340 --> 00:44:42,800
喝酒吗? 啤酒
704
00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:46,090
这几个就是王静负责去呼咙来的妞
705
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:50,260
说真的 品管上面实在是有待加强
706
00:44:50,430 --> 00:44:53,100
尤其每个穿着化妆都一模一样
707
00:44:53,270 --> 00:44:56,680
只要去撒一泡尿回来就搞不清楚谁是谁了
708
00:44:56,860 --> 00:44:58,600
不过她们的奶
709
00:44:58,770 --> 00:45:01,110
让我留下了深刻的印象
710
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,020
不知道是不是
711
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,530
平常吃太多地沟油•瘦肉精
712
00:45:04,700 --> 00:45:07,480
还是毒奶粉的关系造成基因突变
713
00:45:07,660 --> 00:45:09,020
我之前认识的女生
714
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:11,740
大部分都是飞机跑道型的
715
00:45:11,910 --> 00:45:12,870
但是这几个奶
716
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,500
大到让我有想要捏爆的冲动
717
00:45:15,710 --> 00:45:19,080
想不到隔个台湾海峡 大小粒差这多
718
00:45:19,380 --> 00:45:23,000
古人说的对 『一山还有一山高』
719
00:45:23,170 --> 00:45:25,290
没有酒了 服务员
720
00:45:26,090 --> 00:45:28,210
给我来2瓶威士卡 一打绿茶
721
00:45:28,390 --> 00:45:29,880
一杯长岛冰茶 马丁尼
722
00:45:30,060 --> 00:45:32,640
他们可以连自己的英文名字都讲不好
723
00:45:32,850 --> 00:45:35,720
但对于所有酒精类饮料的英文发音
724
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:37,850
却讲得比老外还要标准
725
00:45:37,980 --> 00:45:40,600
哼 我想如果他们用鸡尾酒
726
00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:42,480
来做自己的英文名字
727
00:45:42,650 --> 00:45:43,690
效果一定会好很多
728
00:45:43,860 --> 00:45:46,020
喊拳…喝啦
729
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:47,650
来来来…喝酒
730
00:45:47,990 --> 00:45:49,320
来来来…我们两个来
731
00:45:49,740 --> 00:45:51,360
听枚…十
732
00:45:51,540 --> 00:45:52,120
十五
733
00:45:52,290 --> 00:45:53,070
十
734
00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:53,990
十五
735
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,870
喊拳…二十…喝啦
736
00:45:57,830 --> 00:46:00,170
她划拳是鲁肉脚 你跟她玩?
737
00:46:00,340 --> 00:46:01,450
玩别的啦
738
00:46:01,630 --> 00:46:04,170
喝啦 又输
739
00:46:05,510 --> 00:46:06,460
这么嚣张?
740
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,670
就是这么嚣张 怎么啦
741
00:46:09,350 --> 00:46:10,460
喝多一点啦
742
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,010
Checkin呀
743
00:46:14,180 --> 00:46:16,770
我建议你啊 不如叫BlackRussian
744
00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:18,600
你的菜英文就不会这么恶心
745
00:46:18,770 --> 00:46:21,100
去死啦 谁听得懂你说的屁话…
746
00:46:21,270 --> 00:46:22,430
我们去颠醒吧(dance)
747
00:46:22,610 --> 00:46:24,390
对啊秀斗了
748
00:46:30,740 --> 00:46:32,400
喂 搞什么鬼啊
749
00:46:32,580 --> 00:46:35,820
那些女的把整桌酒都喝完 这也就算了
750
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:37,570
可是她们把我当"凯子"
751
00:46:37,750 --> 00:46:38,780
以为这里是自助餐吃到饱
752
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:40,070
还是品酒会?
753
00:46:40,250 --> 00:46:42,540
出来玩 千万不能"晕船"
754
00:46:42,710 --> 00:46:43,120
什么意思呀?
755
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:47,210
我去泡妞 从来不会问女生号码
756
00:46:47,720 --> 00:46:49,300
每次下载A片来看
757
00:46:49,470 --> 00:46:50,750
看完就删掉
758
00:46:51,510 --> 00:46:54,300
我是什么意思 你好好参透一下
759
00:46:54,470 --> 00:46:56,680
王静果然是一个浪子
760
00:46:56,890 --> 00:47:00,980
对于金钱跟精子 他都表现得同样豁达
761
00:47:01,230 --> 00:47:04,140
我是不是应该跟他学习一下?
762
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,240
出来玩不要有那么多牵挂
763
00:47:21,830 --> 00:47:24,920
牵挂太多 就不能忘记过去
764
00:47:25,090 --> 00:47:26,920
我没有回答王静的话
765
00:47:27,210 --> 00:47:29,080
因为经过岁月的洗涤
766
00:47:29,260 --> 00:47:32,970
他变得更老练 也把我看得更透彻
767
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:36,630
啊?来夜店还带照相机?
768
00:47:36,810 --> 00:47:39,220
我还以为是专去旅馆拍小模的摄影师
769
00:47:39,390 --> 00:47:40,970
还是mobilel 办网聚了
770
00:47:41,150 --> 00:47:44,730
仔细一看我才发现原来是几个饥不择食
771
00:47:44,900 --> 00:47:46,890
口味又重的宅男
772
00:47:47,230 --> 00:47:49,690
他们扒着丑女沾沾自喜的行为
773
00:47:49,860 --> 00:47:51,440
让我想到美国经济学家
774
00:47:51,610 --> 00:47:53,100
保罗缪尔森的公式:
775
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:55,860
"幸福=效用/欲望"
776
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:57,650
是不是我期望太高
777
00:47:57,830 --> 00:48:00,440
还是出来玩就要降低自己的标准
778
00:48:00,620 --> 00:48:03,080
才会得到幸福呢?
779
00:48:03,580 --> 00:48:05,120
我相信你
780
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,300
只要有耐心 会成功
781
00:48:11,550 --> 00:48:12,760
听到这句风凉话
782
00:48:12,930 --> 00:48:15,380
让我第二次有想要狠扁王静的冲动
783
00:48:15,550 --> 00:48:17,390
第一次是在露营后
784
00:48:18,850 --> 00:48:22,260
不过呢 多年来我一直崇尚拖延战术
785
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,270
我早就习惯了等待
786
00:48:25,900 --> 00:48:28,260
在那一次以后呢 我几乎
787
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,020
每个月都跟王静西进寻欢
788
00:48:31,490 --> 00:48:33,600
妈的 其实说起来
789
00:48:33,910 --> 00:48:36,490
叫做西进白做工
790
00:48:41,210 --> 00:48:45,040
这个星期六 我又再次跟王静西进
791
00:48:45,630 --> 00:48:48,410
又是一个倾盆大雨的夜晚
792
00:48:49,090 --> 00:48:52,330
这个晚上让我一辈子难忘…
793
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:08,930
经过了这几个月 我终于了解到
794
00:49:09,650 --> 00:49:11,810
夜店是一个很直接的地方
795
00:49:12,740 --> 00:49:17,030
不管你选择的是愿者上勾的一夜情
796
00:49:17,700 --> 00:49:22,240
或者是明买明卖的销魂夜 其实都一样
797
00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:25,070
完全不需要拐弯抹角
798
00:49:25,250 --> 00:49:28,040
或众里寻她这么复杂
799
00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:40,050
听过5秒钟法则吗?
800
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:41,640
当两个陌生人
801
00:49:41,810 --> 00:49:43,840
对望超过5秒钟
802
00:49:44,020 --> 00:49:46,430
就一定会有很重要的事情发生
803
00:49:46,940 --> 00:49:49,930
不过呢 要先搞清楚状况 不然
804
00:49:50,110 --> 00:49:52,640
有可能会被海扁一顿
805
00:49:54,110 --> 00:49:56,520
她忧郁的眼神充满魔力
806
00:49:56,700 --> 00:50:00,030
让我胆敢冒着被扁的风险走了过去
807
00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:03,480
正当我不知道该找什么话题开始的时候…
808
00:50:03,660 --> 00:50:06,120
我可不可以去你那一桌坐啊?
809
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:07,620
求之不…
810
00:50:08,330 --> 00:50:09,920
当然可以啊
811
00:50:16,090 --> 00:50:16,960
没事吧
812
00:50:17,380 --> 00:50:18,420
没事
813
00:50:33,150 --> 00:50:34,440
我是不是打扰到你们了
814
00:50:34,610 --> 00:50:35,570
喔 不会
815
00:50:35,950 --> 00:50:38,150
不用管我们 你们可以继续
816
00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:41,780
其实我很少来这种地方
817
00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:44,030
不太习惯
818
00:50:44,290 --> 00:50:47,150
今天也是朋友找我来陪她
819
00:50:47,330 --> 00:50:48,570
但是她还没到
820
00:50:48,750 --> 00:50:50,160
哦 原来这样
821
00:50:50,330 --> 00:50:53,580
现在你跟我说你是处女 我也会信呀
822
00:50:53,750 --> 00:50:55,040
还没自我介绍
823
00:50:55,300 --> 00:50:56,210
我叫Frankie
824
00:50:56,590 --> 00:50:59,830
我叫小鱼 游来游去的鱼
825
00:51:00,010 --> 00:51:03,300
小鱼…啊 这个名字很可爱 跟你很配
826
00:51:03,470 --> 00:51:06,640
这个年代还有人叫小鱼
827
00:51:06,810 --> 00:51:08,800
我还叫花无缺呢
828
00:51:11,900 --> 00:51:12,850
干杯
829
00:51:27,620 --> 00:51:30,330
其实啊 今天是我朋友失恋了
830
00:51:30,500 --> 00:51:34,160
所以…她死也要我陪她
831
00:51:34,670 --> 00:51:35,790
所以我才来
832
00:51:36,590 --> 00:51:39,130
可是这里不好玩 无聊
833
00:51:39,510 --> 00:51:42,420
你朋友真是的 丢你一个人在这里
834
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:44,210
没关系 有我陪你
835
00:51:45,510 --> 00:51:47,130
你…是做什么的?
836
00:51:47,770 --> 00:51:49,380
喔 我做Sa1es&Marketing的…
837
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:51,680
我跟小鱼开始边喝酒边聊天
838
00:51:52,020 --> 00:51:53,510
她说她从乡下
839
00:51:53,690 --> 00:51:55,520
来这里已经好几年
840
00:51:55,820 --> 00:51:57,900
现在跟朋友开了一家时装店
841
00:51:58,070 --> 00:52:01,030
刚刚下班 就打算来找朋友
842
00:52:01,860 --> 00:52:04,320
这么说 今天我们可以认识
843
00:52:04,490 --> 00:52:07,900
真的要感谢她那个失恋又迟到的朋友
844
00:52:09,460 --> 00:52:10,790
星期六出来玩
845
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:12,860
你男朋友不会担心喔?
846
00:52:20,130 --> 00:52:21,340
其实我…
847
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:25,470
没有朋友失恋 失恋那个人是我
848
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:30,430
我好好好…好不开心喔 所以…
849
00:52:30,890 --> 00:52:32,760
你今晚可不可陪陪我?
850
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,390
本来对于"今晚陪我"这四个字
851
00:52:36,570 --> 00:52:41,310
我有点怀疑到底是不是小鱼对我发出的性暗示?
852
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:48,860
其实我不太想留在这里玩
853
00:52:49,950 --> 00:52:52,740
不过 她马上用强烈的身体语言
854
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:55,250
干脆…你陪我回家?
855
00:52:55,500 --> 00:52:57,540
让我当场信心百倍
856
00:52:57,710 --> 00:53:01,120
万一你家有人就不太方便了
857
00:53:01,970 --> 00:53:04,170
其实…我是一个人住的
858
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:08,470
所以你今晚可以在我家睡
859
00:53:10,390 --> 00:53:12,430
当一个人时来运转的时候
860
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:14,840
想不中奖都很困难
861
00:53:15,020 --> 00:53:16,730
妈的 这种情况
862
00:53:16,900 --> 00:53:18,980
我怎么忍心拒绝她呢?
863
00:53:19,150 --> 00:53:21,520
所以 我决定当机立断
864
00:53:21,690 --> 00:53:22,600
那走吧
865
00:53:27,990 --> 00:53:29,860
咦?那不是范冰冰?
866
00:53:30,450 --> 00:53:31,320
是不是?是不是?
867
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,610
是李冰冰啦白痴
868
00:53:33,790 --> 00:53:35,280
我就说你会成功
869
00:53:38,460 --> 00:53:39,620
恭喜你啰
870
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:45,040
今晚可以一竿进洞了 赞喔
871
00:53:46,390 --> 00:53:48,340
虽然我不知道为什么这么多人
872
00:53:48,510 --> 00:53:50,800
喜欢用进洞来代表做爱
873
00:53:50,970 --> 00:53:52,930
但是我有信心 我这一局
874
00:53:53,100 --> 00:53:56,590
绝对会一竿进洞又CLEANTABLE
875
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:02,770
不好意思 我好久没有整理
876
00:54:02,940 --> 00:54:04,900
有点乱 别介意
877
00:54:08,820 --> 00:54:12,660
没关系 等一下可能会更乱
878
00:54:14,660 --> 00:54:15,120
啊?什么?
879
00:54:15,290 --> 00:54:17,500
喔…没关系不是很乱 不用收拾
880
00:54:17,670 --> 00:54:20,030
我比较想要赶快收拾你
881
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:27,500
你家其实蛮舒服的
882
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:31,710
对呀 其实我真的好喜欢好喜欢这里喔
883
00:54:32,390 --> 00:54:36,050
但是我可能很快就要搬走了
884
00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:38,430
喔为什么要搬走呢?
885
00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:42,020
因为没钱付房租
886
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:51,990
干脆你来照顾我 跟我一起住
887
00:54:52,330 --> 00:54:53,280
好不好?
888
00:54:55,870 --> 00:54:57,910
我们才刚认识
889
00:55:01,210 --> 00:55:03,000
你可以当我的男朋友啊
890
00:55:03,340 --> 00:55:08,050
搬过来跟我住在一起 不是很好吗?
891
00:55:08,430 --> 00:55:09,410
好不好?
892
00:55:22,690 --> 00:55:25,680
其实我真的好希望有人照顾
893
00:55:25,860 --> 00:55:27,720
我真的没有钱
894
00:55:28,650 --> 00:55:33,190
两千块…两千块…养我就够了
895
00:55:33,580 --> 00:55:34,280
好不好啦?两千块就够了
896
00:55:34,450 --> 00:55:36,030
哇 干拎老师勒
897
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:38,990
小鱼去夜店 可能就是为了找一个
898
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,530
好色的猪哥来救济自己
899
00:55:41,710 --> 00:55:44,370
我给她钱 不就等于包养她吗?
900
00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:46,250
而且给钱包养她的
901
00:55:46,420 --> 00:55:47,580
搞不好还不只我一个
902
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:49,500
那不就表哥表弟满天飞
903
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:51,130
这实在太扯了
904
00:55:51,300 --> 00:55:52,460
我没办法接受
905
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:54,970
出来玩千万不可以"晕船"
906
00:55:56,350 --> 00:55:58,930
我会好好爱你 只对你一个人好
907
00:56:00,140 --> 00:56:02,350
我是一个受过高等教育的人
908
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:05,480
绝对不能被美色诱惑就晕船
909
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,180
住嘴 请你放尊重点
910
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:17,030
他妈的 如果我真的把她推开
911
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:18,360
我还算是人吗?
912
00:56:18,540 --> 00:56:20,950
我对得起天地良心吗?
913
00:56:21,540 --> 00:56:24,280
可是…我们只认识了两个小时
914
00:56:24,540 --> 00:56:27,130
如果她真的不只勾搭上我一个男人
915
00:56:27,300 --> 00:56:29,790
这样喇舌不就很脏吗?
916
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:32,460
那你说餐厅的汤匙
917
00:56:32,630 --> 00:56:34,800
不是也一样经常让不同的人舔
918
00:56:34,970 --> 00:56:36,960
你用完换我用 你怎么不嫌脏?
919
00:56:37,140 --> 00:56:39,680
而且我现在享受的
920
00:56:39,850 --> 00:56:42,260
是一个美女滑滑的舌头
921
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:45,020
靠么啊 两千块算什么?
922
00:56:45,190 --> 00:56:48,060
我每个月都花两千块买基金
923
00:56:48,230 --> 00:56:50,100
那些基金会跟我喇舌吗?
924
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:51,890
与其花两千块让基金强奸
925
00:56:52,070 --> 00:56:54,440
不如每个月花两千块强奸别人
926
00:56:54,620 --> 00:56:57,150
起码可以达到身心灵的平衡
927
00:56:57,330 --> 00:56:58,190
好吧
928
00:56:58,370 --> 00:56:59,110
啊?
929
00:56:59,830 --> 00:57:01,690
我给钱 我们一起住
930
00:57:22,980 --> 00:57:23,720
干嘛?
931
00:57:24,730 --> 00:57:25,680
没事
932
00:58:07,270 --> 00:58:08,730
我最近在深圳隆的
933
00:58:08,900 --> 00:58:10,760
医生说慢慢就会变软了
934
00:58:10,940 --> 00:58:11,730
慢慢变软?
935
00:58:11,900 --> 00:58:13,480
我现在下面已经软了
936
00:58:13,650 --> 00:58:16,740
大奶妹我摸过 洗衣板我也摸过
937
00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:19,690
但是我从来没有摸过一对这么硬的奶
938
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:20,990
为什么?
939
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:22,400
为什么我会这么脑残?
940
00:58:22,580 --> 00:58:24,740
以为所有咪咪都是真的?
941
00:58:24,910 --> 00:58:26,030
我就像以为热狗里
942
00:58:26,210 --> 00:58:28,120
真的有狗的笨蛋一样蠢
943
00:58:28,290 --> 00:58:29,410
我受够啦
944
00:58:29,630 --> 00:58:31,910
在这里喝假的酒 我可以接受
945
00:58:32,090 --> 00:58:35,080
职棒打假球 我也可以接受
946
00:58:35,260 --> 00:58:36,870
又不是要跟韩国踢贻拳
947
00:58:37,050 --> 00:58:39,260
为什么要搞假的
948
00:58:39,430 --> 00:58:43,720
为什么这里所有东西都是假的?为什么?
949
00:58:51,020 --> 00:58:54,860
为什么…为什么要让我碰到假奶?
950
00:58:56,610 --> 00:58:58,650
奶 不一定都是真的
951
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:01,730
不需要因为这样而自暴自弃
952
00:59:02,370 --> 00:59:04,950
况且…如果没有摸过假奶
953
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:07,700
怎么会知道真奶的价值在哪里?
954
00:59:07,870 --> 00:59:09,910
我以后不想再来了
955
00:59:10,130 --> 00:59:11,830
你真的不再来了?
956
00:59:15,340 --> 00:59:16,450
呀
957
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:24,390
帅哥 你身体很差喔 特别是肾
958
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:26,670
所以才要去火啊
959
00:59:26,850 --> 00:59:28,220
你看你的朋友
960
00:59:28,810 --> 00:59:31,470
眉头都不皱一下 厉害耶
961
00:59:31,690 --> 00:59:36,060
我就说…我他妈的不去了
962
00:59:36,230 --> 00:59:39,020
阿姨可以下面给你吃 要不要?
963
00:59:42,740 --> 00:59:45,980
在这个时候 你需要吃点好料
964
00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:50,030
相信我 再跟我去一次
965
00:59:50,290 --> 00:59:53,000
这一次 是王静第一次正面看我
966
00:59:53,170 --> 00:59:55,280
我从他的眼神感受到的
967
00:59:55,460 --> 00:59:57,450
是一种不能拒绝的关心
968
00:59:57,630 --> 01:00:00,090
我只是去见识一下 什么都不干喔
969
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:01,880
明晚七点
970
01:00:04,010 --> 01:00:07,100
不过我最想要的 根本不是西进找鸡
971
01:00:07,270 --> 01:00:08,050
而是…
972
01:00:08,230 --> 01:00:10,680
儿子 帮我备份一下资料
973
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:29,320
喂…
974
01:00:34,630 --> 01:00:36,960
宝贝 对不起啦
975
01:00:37,380 --> 01:00:38,490
我问过我所有朋友
976
01:00:38,670 --> 01:00:40,330
他们都说是我不对
977
01:00:40,510 --> 01:00:42,120
我知道我的问题在哪里
978
01:00:42,300 --> 01:00:44,790
我会改 你不要生气啦
979
01:00:44,970 --> 01:00:47,710
听到Zeta这么说 我觉得很感动
980
01:00:47,890 --> 01:00:50,510
原来 她也是有明事理的时候
981
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:51,550
送给我的?
982
01:00:51,890 --> 01:00:52,850
算是啦
983
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:02,320
喜不喜欢?
984
01:01:03,610 --> 01:01:04,400
喜欢啊
985
01:01:04,990 --> 01:01:07,400
那我穿给你看
986
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:09,490
那我先去洗澡
987
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,450
那…你先去洗澡?
988
01:01:14,170 --> 01:01:18,460
人家早就洗好澡了 擦干身体 等你来
989
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:36,090
佛曰:不宽恕众生不原谅众生
990
01:01:36,270 --> 01:01:37,980
是苦了你自己
991
01:01:38,270 --> 01:01:39,390
我完全同意
992
01:01:39,570 --> 01:01:41,060
因为这两个月来
993
01:01:41,230 --> 01:01:43,150
我不单是苦了自己
994
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,230
也苦了小弟弟
995
01:01:45,530 --> 01:01:48,900
真正的性爱 并不是一夜情可以取代
996
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:52,200
所以当Zeta为了增加情趣
997
01:01:52,370 --> 01:01:55,740
而主动为我准备了"情趣内衣"的时候
998
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:58,030
我什么都没想就原谅她了
999
01:02:07,470 --> 01:02:11,130
哇…干嘛啦 好好的又要关灯
1000
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:13,630
人家会觉得害羞嘛
1001
01:02:13,810 --> 01:02:15,840
给我一点时间我会改 好吗?
1002
01:02:16,190 --> 01:02:17,020
嗯
1003
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,100
有个好消息要告诉你
1004
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:21,980
今天是我农历生日
1005
01:02:22,230 --> 01:02:23,140
什么?
1006
01:02:23,650 --> 01:02:25,610
我想要跟你庆祝一下
1007
01:02:26,110 --> 01:02:28,730
你可以亲我这里…
1008
01:02:29,410 --> 01:02:30,520
10秒
1009
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:32,150
有没有很开心?
1010
01:02:32,330 --> 01:02:33,360
开心?
1011
01:02:33,540 --> 01:02:35,120
我不懂你为什么这么抗拒
1012
01:02:35,290 --> 01:02:36,650
连亲你这里都不行
1013
01:02:36,830 --> 01:02:39,320
我第一次跟你做完爱 就google过了
1014
01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:41,660
根本没有对"口水过敏"这种病
1015
01:02:42,460 --> 01:02:44,250
人家怕痒嘛
1016
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:49,000
凡事都有第一次 多亲两次就好啦
1017
01:02:49,260 --> 01:02:52,170
做爱并不是要在乎有没有吸乳头
1018
01:02:52,350 --> 01:02:55,180
或是应该吸多久的这些问题上
1019
01:02:55,350 --> 01:02:58,340
而是要建立在互相迁就和包容
1020
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,510
所以 我决定用爱去包容Zeta
1021
01:03:01,690 --> 01:03:04,520
给她时间改过自新
1022
01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:09,490
OK
1023
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:13,740
怎么啦 消了毒你亲得比较安心呀
1024
01:03:15,830 --> 01:03:20,200
哇 苦死了…干 随便…
1025
01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:22,080
10…9…8…7…
1026
01:03:22,250 --> 01:03:23,910
3…2…1…
1027
01:03:24,090 --> 01:03:25,580
等等等…
1028
01:03:26,550 --> 01:03:28,040
等我先擦干净…
1029
01:03:39,810 --> 01:03:41,020
你当我妓女呀?
1030
01:03:41,230 --> 01:03:43,940
人类总是要重复犯同样的错误
1031
01:03:44,070 --> 01:03:45,810
永远不会记取教训
1032
01:03:45,980 --> 01:03:47,770
除了Zeta 还有我老爸
1033
01:03:47,940 --> 01:03:48,650
老爸
1034
01:03:48,820 --> 01:03:50,360
我的资料弄好了吗?
1035
01:03:50,860 --> 01:03:53,030
明天再弄吧 好累喔
1036
01:03:53,620 --> 01:03:56,150
我明天要去山上做义工
1037
01:03:56,330 --> 01:03:58,070
你快点帮我弄吧
1038
01:03:58,910 --> 01:04:00,900
不然等到你妈回来就麻烦了
1039
01:04:04,630 --> 01:04:05,830
快点弄啊
1040
01:04:57,760 --> 01:05:00,510
我终于懂了 为什么老爸
1041
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:03,680
要我在妈咪回来之前把他电话的资料备份
1042
01:05:03,850 --> 01:05:06,890
想不到 原来我老爸就是被James
1043
01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:10,310
推崇备至的"精妓部"部长"魏君子"
1044
01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:13,270
真是取了个好名字 他真的是一个
1045
01:05:13,450 --> 01:05:16,280
百分之一百的伪君子
1046
01:05:16,450 --> 01:05:18,660
听说那个拍《3D肉蒲团》的电影公司老板
1047
01:05:18,830 --> 01:05:22,370
又拍了部三级片 实在丢脸
1048
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:25,040
还有喔
1049
01:05:25,210 --> 01:05:27,950
他们又拍了部
1050
01:05:28,130 --> 01:05:29,620
情色性喜剧 还搞3D呢
1051
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:31,250
可惜我明天就要走啦
1052
01:05:31,420 --> 01:05:33,840
不然我肯定会去检举他们
1053
01:05:34,180 --> 01:05:35,460
下流 变态 不要脸
1054
01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:37,590
山区小孩都很缺水
1055
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:39,130
反对的呢?
1056
01:05:39,470 --> 01:05:41,840
爸爸 把决议纪录在会议纪录里
1057
01:05:42,060 --> 01:05:43,300
我明天要去做义工
1058
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:45,180
你快点帮我弄吧
1059
01:05:46,730 --> 01:05:49,470
老婆 最近你学校很忙吗?
1060
01:05:49,820 --> 01:05:52,430
李老师最近请假呀
1061
01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:55,730
拿去 肮脏东西
1062
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,860
Frankie 你是怎么啦
1063
01:08:00,860 --> 01:08:03,100
36号是大奶?我听你在放屁
1064
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:06,490
干你娘鸡排 你说那个36号
1065
01:08:06,660 --> 01:08:08,780
她的奶真的有36
1066
01:08:09,250 --> 01:08:11,200
等一下一定再找她
1067
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:14,330
讲什么?小姐不正点?
1068
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:16,200
靠北哪可能
1069
01:08:16,340 --> 01:08:17,950
"金光三温暖"耶
1070
01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:20,080
什么"金狮"?
1071
01:08:20,260 --> 01:08:20,840
金你娘啦 你以为出国旅游呀?
1072
01:08:21,010 --> 01:08:22,840
每天到底有多少嫖客
1073
01:08:23,010 --> 01:08:24,590
到世界各地去嫖妓?
1074
01:08:24,800 --> 01:08:25,510
我不知道
1075
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:28,340
我只知道 我很快就会变得跟他们一样
1076
01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:30,380
再也没有资格批评他们
1077
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:33,600
我的性经验 三根手指头就数完了
1078
01:08:33,770 --> 01:08:35,230
曾经做爱的女人
1079
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:37,810
数量也会在这几个小时之内
1080
01:08:37,980 --> 01:08:39,520
由三个变成四个
1081
01:08:39,690 --> 01:08:41,860
以小数点后2位计算
1082
01:08:42,030 --> 01:08:45,400
马上会大幅上升33.33%
1083
01:08:45,700 --> 01:08:48,030
假如我是一只深圳的A股
1084
01:08:48,370 --> 01:08:50,530
相信已经涨停板了
1085
01:08:58,880 --> 01:08:59,670
到啦
1086
01:09:06,180 --> 01:09:06,760
有没有猪血糕?
1087
01:09:06,930 --> 01:09:08,040
卖光啦
1088
01:09:09,720 --> 01:09:11,130
喂 你这个憨览
1089
01:09:11,310 --> 01:09:12,170
早就跟你说
1090
01:09:12,350 --> 01:09:13,180
不要趴七阿
1091
01:09:13,350 --> 01:09:15,180
跟我开开心心的去嫖个妓吧
1092
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:16,310
到现在才来
1093
01:09:16,480 --> 01:09:17,140
现在怎样?
1094
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:18,270
先等车啊
1095
01:09:18,440 --> 01:09:20,480
先吃点东西 我饿到靠么
1096
01:09:20,650 --> 01:09:22,390
噢 差点忘了说
1097
01:09:22,570 --> 01:09:25,060
James已经没有跟我在一家公司了
1098
01:09:25,370 --> 01:09:27,150
他现在帮家里打理工厂
1099
01:09:27,330 --> 01:09:29,030
长期待在大陆
1100
01:09:29,740 --> 01:09:32,490
有一次 公司派我们去澳门开会
1101
01:09:32,660 --> 01:09:35,910
到了以后Susan要我尽快把报告写好
1102
01:09:36,210 --> 01:09:38,920
James负责招呼那些大客户
1103
01:09:39,090 --> 01:09:42,120
还没到12点 James就已经醉到稀里哗啦了
1104
01:09:44,300 --> 01:09:46,710
这里可以叫女人
1105
01:09:46,890 --> 01:09:49,130
来澳门最重要是什么?
1106
01:09:50,310 --> 01:09:51,800
喂 Susan
1107
01:09:52,930 --> 01:09:54,640
是…没有 刚刚在忙
1108
01:09:54,810 --> 01:09:55,970
好 等一下给你
1109
01:09:56,150 --> 01:09:57,760
很快 大概5到10分钟
1110
01:09:57,940 --> 01:09:59,930
是是是 好 拜拜
1111
01:10:04,030 --> 01:10:06,740
来澳门最重要是去嫖
1112
01:10:06,910 --> 01:10:08,940
不去嫖 很吃亏的
1113
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:12,110
不用给小费的 你知道吗?
1114
01:10:12,290 --> 01:10:13,530
你知道吗?
1115
01:10:18,960 --> 01:10:23,370
咦?有女人按门铃?爽 哗
1116
01:10:26,180 --> 01:10:26,710
哗
1117
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:27,750
哗什么?
1118
01:10:29,470 --> 01:10:29,930
Frankie呢?
1119
01:10:30,100 --> 01:10:31,380
不是要拿档给我吗?
1120
01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:34,170
小姐 你不太适合我
1121
01:10:34,350 --> 01:10:37,220
叫你经理换一个过来
1122
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,130
干你娘的
1123
01:10:38,350 --> 01:10:39,690
跟Susan一样丑到爆
1124
01:10:39,860 --> 01:10:41,470
你讲什么呀? 你当我是妓女?
1125
01:10:41,650 --> 01:10:43,060
你当我是妓女? 看得都软了…
1126
01:10:43,230 --> 01:10:44,970
这种话你也说得出口 James ?
1127
01:10:45,150 --> 01:10:48,610
你他妈的 你给我醒醒
1128
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:52,110
你被开除了
1129
01:10:52,290 --> 01:10:53,270
那天之后
1130
01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:55,190
我少了一个同事
1131
01:10:55,370 --> 01:10:57,660
James少了一个拍马屁物件
1132
01:10:57,830 --> 01:11:00,290
而susan也终于深深体会到
1133
01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:02,490
什么叫做酒后吐真言
1134
01:11:13,140 --> 01:11:15,720
我曾经看过这一种眼神
1135
01:11:15,890 --> 01:11:18,130
在中途战役的纪录片里
1136
01:11:18,310 --> 01:11:21,180
凯旋而归 回到基地的美军
1137
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:24,850
就是用这一种疲累 但满足的眼神
1138
01:11:25,030 --> 01:11:26,860
回敬接替他们的弟兄
1139
01:11:27,030 --> 01:11:29,900
向对方寄予重任的眼神…
1140
01:11:52,640 --> 01:11:55,420
喂 下雨了 快一点 搞什么
1141
01:12:04,190 --> 01:12:05,400
好 谢谢
1142
01:12:05,940 --> 01:12:08,180
干你娘勒 搞到那么晚
1143
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:10,730
啊?太晚就没有女人吗?
1144
01:12:10,910 --> 01:12:12,020
你不用担心
1145
01:12:12,200 --> 01:12:13,780
我已经打了电话给泽经理
1146
01:12:13,950 --> 01:12:15,660
叫他帮我留厉害的
1147
01:12:15,870 --> 01:12:18,230
不然 可能就要吃屎啦
1148
01:12:18,660 --> 01:12:21,030
哦 对了 你怎么跟Zeta说
1149
01:12:21,210 --> 01:12:22,450
要来大陆的?
1150
01:12:23,710 --> 01:12:26,250
Zeta已经不是以前的Zeta
1151
01:12:26,670 --> 01:12:28,040
过了关口之后
1152
01:12:28,210 --> 01:12:30,750
我也是个全新的我
1153
01:12:30,930 --> 01:12:33,630
你是在说什么话啦?
1154
01:12:34,100 --> 01:12:35,130
算了算了…
1155
01:12:35,300 --> 01:12:37,040
别说我没告诉你
1156
01:12:37,310 --> 01:12:38,760
等一下看到别人选到
1157
01:12:38,930 --> 01:12:40,640
那些吓死人的丑女
1158
01:12:40,810 --> 01:12:42,350
千万不要笑别人
1159
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:45,020
这个世上各人有各人的菜
1160
01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:46,810
我看多了
1161
01:12:47,730 --> 01:12:48,600
哦
1162
01:13:11,550 --> 01:13:13,090
先生 晚上好
1163
01:13:14,590 --> 01:13:16,180
老板 怎么称呼啊?
1164
01:13:16,350 --> 01:13:17,710
占士 占士哥
1165
01:13:17,890 --> 01:13:19,250
姓王 王生
1166
01:13:19,430 --> 01:13:20,550
Frankie Frankie哥
1167
01:13:20,730 --> 01:13:21,930
有没有指定找哪一位呀?
1168
01:13:22,100 --> 01:13:25,840
没有 不过我刚才跟阿泽通过电话了
1169
01:13:26,020 --> 01:13:28,100
阿泽喔?我就是阿泽啦
1170
01:13:28,270 --> 01:13:31,440
原来刚刚就是James哥你打来 失敬失敬
1171
01:13:31,650 --> 01:13:32,640
你是阿泽?
1172
01:13:32,950 --> 01:13:34,810
可是名牌上写的是"度文"
1173
01:13:34,990 --> 01:13:37,950
哎呀 你有所不知啦
1174
01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:41,330
"夏春秋"呢大家都叫他"冬叔"嘛
1175
01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:42,480
我叫做"度文"
1176
01:13:42,660 --> 01:13:43,820
客人自然会想起"杜文泽"
1177
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:44,910
所以后来
1178
01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:46,990
都直接叫我做阿泽
1179
01:13:47,170 --> 01:13:49,710
他妈随便啦 赶快吧
1180
01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:51,920
你们来得真是时候
1181
01:13:52,090 --> 01:13:54,170
遇到我们的"百花齐放"
1182
01:13:54,340 --> 01:13:55,380
什么是百花齐放?
1183
01:13:55,550 --> 01:13:57,840
哦 就是所有没有坐台的妹妹
1184
01:13:58,010 --> 01:13:58,970
都会在大厅
1185
01:13:59,140 --> 01:14:01,000
让各位老板可以慢慢的挑
1186
01:14:01,180 --> 01:14:02,090
请跟我来
1187
01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:06,520
来…快来快来
1188
01:14:07,270 --> 01:14:08,060
哇
1189
01:14:34,420 --> 01:14:35,380
你"哇"什么呀?
1190
01:14:35,590 --> 01:14:38,170
我随便哇一下不行喔 干
1191
01:14:40,220 --> 01:14:42,840
果然是鲍鱼中的极品
1192
01:14:45,480 --> 01:14:46,180
三位老板
1193
01:14:46,350 --> 01:14:48,510
看中那一位直接跟我说就行了
1194
01:14:49,060 --> 01:14:50,390
"度文"你找死呀?
1195
01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:52,100
干嘛又想要抢我的客人?
1196
01:14:52,570 --> 01:14:54,350
我哪只眼睛看到我抢你客人?
1197
01:14:54,530 --> 01:14:56,860
我两只眼睛都看到你在抢
1198
01:14:58,240 --> 01:14:59,650
泽九英龙华?
1199
01:14:59,910 --> 01:15:00,740
泽膏?
1200
01:15:00,910 --> 01:15:01,650
是"泽尻"
1201
01:15:01,830 --> 01:15:02,610
尻啦
1202
01:15:02,740 --> 01:15:05,160
干 青菜啦 是在每日一字喔
1203
01:15:05,330 --> 01:15:06,360
先不跟你哈啦这些
1204
01:15:06,540 --> 01:15:07,400
喂 我告诉你
1205
01:15:07,620 --> 01:15:10,240
刚才呢 他们三个明明是打电话给我
1206
01:15:10,420 --> 01:15:12,080
叫我派车子去接
1207
01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:16,580
啊 请问一下 你们哪位是James哥呀?
1208
01:15:17,720 --> 01:15:18,500
看到没?
1209
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:21,000
你连James哥是哪个都不知道
1210
01:15:21,180 --> 01:15:23,790
还说我抢你客人真是丢脸
1211
01:15:24,100 --> 01:15:25,680
James哥 你告诉她
1212
01:15:25,850 --> 01:15:28,060
你刚刚是打给我 不是打给她
1213
01:15:28,350 --> 01:15:30,890
James 你刚刚到底打给谁?
1214
01:15:31,270 --> 01:15:32,560
不知啦
1215
01:15:32,730 --> 01:15:34,690
男人跟女人的声音你分不出来?
1216
01:15:34,860 --> 01:15:35,520
干你娘
1217
01:15:35,690 --> 01:15:37,780
我很专心的帮你两个憨览留妹妹
1218
01:15:37,950 --> 01:15:38,900
谁管那么多?
1219
01:15:39,070 --> 01:15:39,940
你们两个自己慢慢吵
1220
01:15:40,110 --> 01:15:40,980
不要妨碍我选
1221
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:42,690
对呀 不要妨碍我的客人
1222
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:45,070
你想得美 抢我的客人还敢这么大声
1223
01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:45,900
怎样
1224
01:15:46,080 --> 01:15:46,940
怎样啦 怎么样
1225
01:15:47,120 --> 01:15:49,240
不要吵啦 叫你们经理出来
1226
01:15:49,420 --> 01:15:50,030
我就是经理
1227
01:15:50,210 --> 01:15:53,120
够了 我们三个人 每人光顾一个
1228
01:15:53,290 --> 01:15:53,870
第三个3P
1229
01:15:54,050 --> 01:15:56,410
两个都光顾 这样公平吧?
1230
01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:59,500
好喔 我吃亏一点3P的我来
1231
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:02,760
我没意见 顾客永远是对的
1232
01:16:03,260 --> 01:16:04,670
你凭什么有意见啦?
1233
01:16:05,100 --> 01:16:06,260
你当老娘是傻子啊?
1234
01:16:06,430 --> 01:16:09,050
这四张单应该都是我的
1235
01:16:09,230 --> 01:16:11,260
我为什么要跟你分?还要分一半
1236
01:16:11,440 --> 01:16:12,180
你想得美
1237
01:16:12,350 --> 01:16:13,840
你讲话就讲话 戳什么戳啊?
1238
01:16:14,020 --> 01:16:14,810
怎样啦 怎样啦
1239
01:16:14,980 --> 01:16:16,470
你认为这样不公平
1240
01:16:16,650 --> 01:16:18,060
你认为顾客永远是对的
1241
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:19,350
永远都对
1242
01:16:19,530 --> 01:16:20,310
那这样吧
1243
01:16:20,490 --> 01:16:22,900
如果哪一个人的服务比较周到
1244
01:16:23,070 --> 01:16:24,230
我们就光顾谁啦
1245
01:16:24,410 --> 01:16:25,150
比就比 谁怕谁?
1246
01:16:25,330 --> 01:16:26,820
来… 站好站好…
1247
01:16:26,990 --> 01:16:28,860
美女们…站好站好…
1248
01:16:30,660 --> 01:16:32,030
欢迎三位老板
1249
01:16:32,210 --> 01:16:35,000
大驾光临我们华盛顿桑拿
1250
01:16:35,170 --> 01:16:39,000
我旗下的妹妹呢 是出名的奶大屁股翘
1251
01:16:39,170 --> 01:16:40,500
人见人要
1252
01:16:40,720 --> 01:16:44,170
来…你看这个36用看的都不只36
1253
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:47,590
服务超级好 很多客人都指定她
1254
01:16:48,140 --> 01:16:50,720
36 跳两下给老板看看
1255
01:16:56,270 --> 01:16:58,690
靠 只会用嘴巴说说
1256
01:16:58,860 --> 01:17:00,100
看看这个11号
1257
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:02,360
外号"吹萧达人"
1258
01:17:02,530 --> 01:17:03,490
萧功轰动武林
1259
01:17:03,660 --> 01:17:04,740
不但脸蛋好看
1260
01:17:04,910 --> 01:17:06,770
好吸好摸能玩能搓
1261
01:17:06,950 --> 01:17:08,740
是不是很动心?
1262
01:17:09,290 --> 01:17:12,700
干 满嘴跑马 妖言惑众
1263
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:16,530
当然要让客人先摸过才有说服力嘛
1264
01:17:16,710 --> 01:17:20,120
来老板 用力给他抓下去 不用啦
1265
01:17:21,050 --> 01:17:22,160
来…是不是很舒服啊?
1266
01:17:22,340 --> 01:17:25,170
喂…老板你看 超粉嫩乳头
1267
01:17:28,720 --> 01:17:29,960
叫你不要常常晒太阳
1268
01:17:30,140 --> 01:17:31,760
去去去
1269
01:17:33,100 --> 01:17:35,680
你看 是不是比猴子屁股还要粉嫩
1270
01:17:35,860 --> 01:17:37,640
感受一下 怎么样?
1271
01:17:37,820 --> 01:17:39,060
有弹性吧
1272
01:17:40,230 --> 01:17:42,570
粉红乳头什么了不起 我也有呀
1273
01:17:42,740 --> 01:17:43,520
不对 我的妹妹也有呀
1274
01:17:43,700 --> 01:17:44,900
比志玲姊姊还要粉嫩喔
1275
01:17:45,820 --> 01:17:47,400
老板 如果摸不出感觉的话
1276
01:17:47,580 --> 01:17:49,990
可以舔舔看 过来舔舔看吧
1277
01:17:50,240 --> 01:17:51,110
你刚刚说
1278
01:17:51,290 --> 01:17:52,780
摸下去很舒服呀
1279
01:17:52,960 --> 01:17:55,410
舔我这边的 高级货…
1280
01:17:55,580 --> 01:17:57,240
舔这边的…
1281
01:17:57,420 --> 01:17:58,950
泽经理 有客人找你呀
1282
01:17:59,130 --> 01:18:02,420
知道了 找我的
1283
01:18:06,970 --> 01:18:08,210
赚到啰
1284
01:18:09,260 --> 01:18:10,170
我硬了
1285
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:11,470
什么硬了?
1286
01:18:12,100 --> 01:18:13,130
整个身体
1287
01:18:13,680 --> 01:18:17,100
干 这么没有能耐早知道我来摸
1288
01:18:17,480 --> 01:18:20,970
不要乱想喔 我说的硬了
1289
01:18:21,150 --> 01:18:24,020
是指身体因为尴尬而僵硬
1290
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:27,810
说真的 我并没有因为可以免费摸奶而高兴
1291
01:18:30,620 --> 01:18:33,610
这里是名符其实的人肉市场
1292
01:18:34,040 --> 01:18:35,870
来到这个地方就像到了
1293
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:39,200
菜市场 一样随便挑随便摸
1294
01:18:39,460 --> 01:18:41,620
这里的人 不管是嫖客
1295
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:46,040
小姐还是经理 自尊根本就是个屁
1296
01:18:46,930 --> 01:18:49,460
喂 阿泽 帮我留106号
1297
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:58,050
等一下看到别人
1298
01:18:58,230 --> 01:19:00,020
选到那些吓死人的丑女
1299
01:19:00,230 --> 01:19:01,640
千万不要笑别人
1300
01:19:01,820 --> 01:19:04,310
这个世上各人有各人的菜
1301
01:19:04,650 --> 01:19:06,190
我看多了
1302
01:19:09,530 --> 01:19:12,150
青菜萝卜 各有所好
1303
01:19:12,990 --> 01:19:13,820
随他
1304
01:19:26,590 --> 01:19:28,380
211 站起来
1305
01:19:36,810 --> 01:19:38,170
我先留106号
1306
01:19:38,350 --> 01:19:39,390
反悔了可以换吗?
1307
01:19:39,560 --> 01:19:42,930
没问题…只要你喜欢 什么都可以
1308
01:19:43,110 --> 01:19:45,020
不过现在呢 你的两个朋友
1309
01:19:45,190 --> 01:19:46,520
还没有选到喜欢的
1310
01:19:46,690 --> 01:19:47,850
再过没多久
1311
01:19:48,030 --> 01:19:50,060
就没有"百花齐放"啰
1312
01:19:50,780 --> 01:19:51,520
想不到这种地方
1313
01:19:51,700 --> 01:19:53,530
也有如此清丽脱俗的女生
1314
01:19:53,700 --> 01:19:55,240
你看她的样子
1315
01:19:55,410 --> 01:19:57,950
就像是不食人间烟火一样
1316
01:19:58,330 --> 01:19:59,040
他不吃人间烟火
1317
01:19:59,210 --> 01:20:01,910
只吃热狗 憨览
1318
01:20:02,130 --> 01:20:05,330
泽经理 麻烦你帮我留着211
1319
01:20:05,500 --> 01:20:07,710
没问题…谢谢你
1320
01:20:07,880 --> 01:20:10,000
阿静 有没有看上哪个?
1321
01:20:13,220 --> 01:20:15,180
肚子饿得要死 先去磕个饭
1322
01:20:15,350 --> 01:20:17,380
回来再慢慢挑
1323
01:20:17,560 --> 01:20:18,550
这边请
1324
01:20:25,690 --> 01:20:27,150
想到要吃什么了吗?
1325
01:20:27,320 --> 01:20:30,900
还没的话 先叫两瓶啤酒漱漱口
1326
01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:32,940
有没有比利时黑啤酒?
1327
01:20:33,410 --> 01:20:34,940
说你憨览喔
1328
01:20:35,740 --> 01:20:37,150
服务员 给我两瓶啤酒
1329
01:20:37,330 --> 01:20:38,940
3个杯子
1330
01:20:44,750 --> 01:20:47,660
来干嘛带 菜鸟来这里破处的啊
1331
01:20:47,840 --> 01:20:48,580
破处?
1332
01:20:48,760 --> 01:20:50,620
哦 你的朋友看起来
1333
01:20:53,090 --> 01:20:56,300
就是处男喔
1334
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:58,420
喂 你看这是谁
1335
01:20:58,770 --> 01:21:00,550
喔…Frankie
1336
01:21:00,730 --> 01:21:03,560
你不是说你跟我们不一样吗?
1337
01:21:03,730 --> 01:21:05,340
喔…塞你祖母的车
1338
01:21:05,520 --> 01:21:08,980
我都说了 没有猫不吃腥的
1339
01:21:09,110 --> 01:21:10,270
没吃过鲍鱼的
1340
01:21:10,440 --> 01:21:12,690
怎么知道有多好吃
1341
01:21:13,530 --> 01:21:14,610
算啦 他知道错了
1342
01:21:14,780 --> 01:21:16,270
你们别亏他了 干杯吧
1343
01:21:16,450 --> 01:21:18,280
不要啦 刚才喝很多
1344
01:21:18,450 --> 01:21:21,740
干脆明天早上来这里吃早餐
1345
01:21:21,910 --> 01:21:23,780
顺便来一下赛后报告
1346
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:26,990
好啊 我没问题 看他怎样
1347
01:21:27,540 --> 01:21:28,370
好啊
1348
01:21:28,550 --> 01:21:32,130
好 那我们就不妨碍你吃鲍鱼啦
1349
01:21:32,300 --> 01:21:33,790
明天见
1350
01:21:34,430 --> 01:21:35,510
明天见
1351
01:21:38,760 --> 01:21:41,760
干嘛?看什么 看火大喔?
1352
01:21:41,930 --> 01:21:43,970
在这里遇到男人不奇怪
1353
01:21:44,140 --> 01:21:46,600
要是碰到女人就知死啊啦
1354
01:21:46,980 --> 01:21:48,060
要吃什么啦
1355
01:21:48,480 --> 01:21:50,690
刚才服务生说鲍鱼已经没了
1356
01:21:51,490 --> 01:21:54,020
没了?那就吃手扒鸡吧?
1357
01:21:58,240 --> 01:21:59,820
谁啊?喂…谁
1358
01:22:04,080 --> 01:22:04,820
没事…
1359
01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:07,910
来 干杯…喝啦喝啦
1360
01:22:09,460 --> 01:22:11,750
我看着杯子里面黄色的啤酒
1361
01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:13,500
完全想不透
1362
01:22:13,670 --> 01:22:15,760
我也不知道到底有多少事情
1363
01:22:15,930 --> 01:22:17,670
是我可以掌握的
1364
01:22:18,100 --> 01:22:19,960
这一刻 我感到很迷惘…
1365
01:22:20,140 --> 01:22:21,500
到底要吃什么?
1366
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:28,140
手扒鸡怎么样?还是要红烧石斑?
1367
01:22:33,280 --> 01:22:35,360
喂 去哪呀?还没点餐呀
1368
01:22:35,530 --> 01:22:36,860
阳春面吧
1369
01:22:37,990 --> 01:22:39,530
厕所不在那一边
1370
01:22:41,700 --> 01:22:42,940
哦?是喔
1371
01:22:43,540 --> 01:22:46,070
情何限 处处销魂…
1372
01:22:47,080 --> 01:22:50,200
故人不见 旧曲重闻…
1373
01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:53,790
我只是小个便 你吟诗干嘛
1374
01:22:53,960 --> 01:22:55,670
你在这里干嘛
1375
01:22:56,050 --> 01:22:58,420
当人要做出重大决定的时候
1376
01:22:59,180 --> 01:23:01,090
难免会有思潮起伏
1377
01:23:02,100 --> 01:23:05,460
不过我相信 我的决定是对的
1378
01:23:06,390 --> 01:23:08,550
决定?什么决定?
1379
01:23:09,100 --> 01:23:10,220
你有看到喜欢的吗?
1380
01:23:11,060 --> 01:23:14,020
在刚才我已经找到我心目中的小龙女
1381
01:23:15,320 --> 01:23:16,310
211?
1382
01:23:16,490 --> 01:23:19,350
泽经理 麻烦你帮我留211
1383
01:23:20,410 --> 01:23:22,150
阿静 你有看中谁吗?
1384
01:23:22,450 --> 01:23:24,110
为什么你刚刚不说出来?
1385
01:23:25,080 --> 01:23:28,410
因为我觉得你比我更加需要她
1386
01:23:28,670 --> 01:23:31,450
虽然王静的年纪比我小两个月
1387
01:23:31,670 --> 01:23:34,280
但是从小到大一直都是他让我
1388
01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:37,460
这么多年来 我没有送过什么礼物给他
1389
01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:40,920
所以 今天我决定要让他一次
1390
01:23:41,090 --> 01:23:42,250
211留给你吧
1391
01:23:42,970 --> 01:23:46,300
我知道你在想什么 你要是现在回去
1392
01:23:46,770 --> 01:23:49,930
你就永远没办法忘记你想要忘记的人
1393
01:23:50,940 --> 01:23:53,550
没错 我经历了跋山涉水
1394
01:23:53,730 --> 01:23:55,850
花了3个小时来到这里挑妹妹
1395
01:23:56,030 --> 01:23:59,440
然后什么都没做就拍拍屁股回去?
1396
01:23:59,610 --> 01:24:03,320
王静说的话 深深的震撼了我的心
1397
01:24:03,620 --> 01:24:05,150
人生能够有一个这么挺我的兄弟
1398
01:24:05,330 --> 01:24:07,940
真是三生有幸啊
1399
01:24:08,120 --> 01:24:11,030
所以 我决定今天晚上放开来干
1400
01:24:11,210 --> 01:24:14,080
尽情跟211大战三百回合
1401
01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:17,160
不行 做人要守信用
1402
01:24:17,300 --> 01:24:19,790
拎娘勒 又装了窃听器?
1403
01:24:20,380 --> 01:24:22,590
百花齐放的活动已经结束啦
1404
01:24:22,760 --> 01:24:23,800
妹妹没有之前那么多
1405
01:24:23,970 --> 01:24:24,710
啊?
1406
01:24:24,890 --> 01:24:27,380
你们不用担心 我会叫她们
1407
01:24:27,560 --> 01:24:28,470
分批进去让你挑
1408
01:24:28,640 --> 01:24:30,380
保证挑到满意为止
1409
01:24:30,560 --> 01:24:31,390
不满意也可以换
1410
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:33,890
先进去 等我来安排
1411
01:24:39,820 --> 01:24:41,150
先生晚上好
1412
01:24:41,320 --> 01:24:43,360
我是128 我来自…
1413
01:24:43,530 --> 01:24:45,820
我是708 我来自…
1414
01:24:46,660 --> 01:24:48,490
我是303 我来自…
1415
01:24:48,750 --> 01:24:50,330
我是…
1416
01:24:50,500 --> 01:24:52,580
哇…她们讲什么我完全听不懂
1417
01:24:52,750 --> 01:24:55,210
挑啦 管她们讲什么
1418
01:24:55,460 --> 01:24:56,580
喂 有没有喜欢的?
1419
01:24:56,750 --> 01:24:59,420
干你娘 我赶时间随便挑一个啦
1420
01:25:00,010 --> 01:25:01,170
没有呀
1421
01:25:03,180 --> 01:25:04,340
去去去
1422
01:25:09,020 --> 01:25:10,180
真的没有喜欢的?
1423
01:25:12,310 --> 01:25:13,720
外面的妹妹不多了
1424
01:25:14,150 --> 01:25:16,230
这批呢是最后的机会
1425
01:25:18,030 --> 01:25:20,020
万一啊 最后一批看完
1426
01:25:20,190 --> 01:25:21,350
你还是不喜欢的话
1427
01:25:21,530 --> 01:25:22,730
那我就没辄了
1428
01:25:22,900 --> 01:25:24,360
好好好…去安排
1429
01:25:24,870 --> 01:25:26,200
当我听到泽经理说
1430
01:25:26,370 --> 01:25:28,070
这个是"最后机会"的时候
1431
01:25:28,240 --> 01:25:30,860
我的心竟然紧张了起来
1432
01:25:31,080 --> 01:25:34,320
没多久之前 要不是因为王静提醒我
1433
01:25:34,500 --> 01:25:36,660
我早就已经在回家的路上了
1434
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:38,040
为什么现在会因为
1435
01:25:38,250 --> 01:25:39,990
挑不到妹妹而感到不安呢?
1436
01:25:40,170 --> 01:25:42,830
难道 我骨子里遗传了老爸的
1437
01:25:43,010 --> 01:25:45,220
DNA只不过是个伪君子?
1438
01:25:45,390 --> 01:25:47,050
先生晚上好
1439
01:25:57,060 --> 01:25:59,020
不好意思 我走错房间了
1440
01:26:01,900 --> 01:26:04,390
走啦 恭喜喔要转大人啰
1441
01:26:04,570 --> 01:26:05,900
老板 我去安排房间啰
1442
01:26:06,070 --> 01:26:07,280
好 快一点
1443
01:26:13,580 --> 01:26:15,950
哇…喂 憨览 记得要来吃早餐
1444
01:26:23,420 --> 01:26:25,210
来 我帮脱去外套
1445
01:26:25,550 --> 01:26:26,210
哦…谢谢
1446
01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:30,760
你们真的很有礼貌耶
1447
01:26:45,820 --> 01:26:53,690
哇…这椅子好酷 变形金刚?
1448
01:26:59,000 --> 01:27:01,990
这是"天王椅" 如果你喜欢的话
1449
01:27:02,380 --> 01:27:04,620
待会我可以帮你在上面做服务
1450
01:27:04,800 --> 01:27:08,040
天王椅?刘德华真的没骗人
1451
01:27:08,470 --> 01:27:11,630
真的每个人都可以做天王
1452
01:27:12,140 --> 01:27:13,750
只要我的身体有需求
1453
01:27:13,930 --> 01:27:17,100
原来真有他妈的"3D人手按摩"
1454
01:27:19,190 --> 01:27:21,020
可能是安检 我去看一下
1455
01:27:21,860 --> 01:27:27,650
安检…不就是员警临检?拎娘勒
1456
01:27:27,820 --> 01:27:29,730
我真的被吓到腿软了
1457
01:27:29,910 --> 01:27:32,490
比连续射6次还惨
1458
01:27:32,660 --> 01:27:34,320
喂 母啊?
1459
01:27:34,790 --> 01:27:37,150
我招妓去给员警抓到
1460
01:27:37,370 --> 01:27:38,360
15天不能回去
1461
01:27:38,500 --> 01:27:40,110
你不用煮我的饭
1462
01:27:41,880 --> 01:27:43,870
我先不讲啦 妈…
1463
01:27:44,300 --> 01:27:47,160
为什么我的人生总是这么倒媚
1464
01:27:47,340 --> 01:27:49,380
我裤子没脱 洞也没进
1465
01:27:49,510 --> 01:27:51,000
就要被拘留15天 ?
1466
01:27:51,180 --> 01:27:55,720
呜…老板 我嫖妓被抓了
1467
01:27:56,020 --> 01:27:58,050
我想要请两个礼拜的假…
1468
01:27:58,440 --> 01:28:00,300
就算坐牢也要记得接客户电话
1469
01:28:00,480 --> 01:28:01,840
跟回E-mail
1470
01:28:02,360 --> 01:28:03,220
哦…知道了…呜…
1471
01:28:03,400 --> 01:28:05,430
喂喂兄弟 手机借一下
1472
01:28:05,610 --> 01:28:07,020
我的讲到没电了
1473
01:28:08,530 --> 01:28:11,650
哦是你喔?你不是去金狮三温暖吗?
1474
01:28:11,950 --> 01:28:13,030
什么金狮三温暖?
1475
01:28:13,200 --> 01:28:14,360
金光三温暖
1476
01:28:14,530 --> 01:28:16,870
一样啦?干你娘勒
1477
01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:19,160
多谢喔
1478
01:28:19,750 --> 01:28:20,990
有名的不是比较安全吗?
1479
01:28:21,170 --> 01:28:23,410
干 我本来也以为这样
1480
01:28:25,210 --> 01:28:26,080
喂 手机拿来
1481
01:28:26,590 --> 01:28:27,580
这里不能打电话
1482
01:28:27,760 --> 01:28:28,540
喜欢拿去啦
1483
01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:31,210
反正又不是我的 干你娘勒
1484
01:28:35,180 --> 01:28:37,970
只是有客人喝醉而已 没事
1485
01:28:38,520 --> 01:28:40,220
我刚才只是开玩笑
1486
01:28:40,390 --> 01:28:42,260
开玩笑?我超你妈个笔勒
1487
01:28:42,440 --> 01:28:45,180
你反应好夸张喔 整张脸冒冷汗
1488
01:28:45,360 --> 01:28:47,440
真他妈的fucking难笑
1489
01:28:47,570 --> 01:28:48,930
你不会被吓到了吧?
1490
01:28:49,570 --> 01:28:51,110
没有 只是有点紧张
1491
01:28:51,280 --> 01:28:52,820
做一下活动
1492
01:28:54,240 --> 01:28:56,320
我们先到床上躺着吧
1493
01:29:03,330 --> 01:29:05,950
我相信我们最近的距离
1494
01:29:06,130 --> 01:29:07,710
不会超过15公分
1495
01:29:08,090 --> 01:29:09,620
我不敢直视她
1496
01:29:10,090 --> 01:29:12,920
她把手放在我的胸口上
1497
01:29:13,090 --> 01:29:15,130
虽然没有任何动作
1498
01:29:15,640 --> 01:29:19,220
但已经可以让我面红耳赤 心跳加速
1499
01:29:20,020 --> 01:29:21,260
为了打破这个僵局
1500
01:29:21,480 --> 01:29:24,470
我决定鼓起最大的勇气跟她说…
1501
01:29:24,600 --> 01:29:25,760
你叫什么?
1502
01:29:26,110 --> 01:29:27,190
我叫小思
1503
01:29:27,820 --> 01:29:31,150
哪个思?十年生死两茫茫
1504
01:29:31,320 --> 01:29:33,180
不思量 自难忘 那个"思"?
1505
01:29:33,450 --> 01:29:34,780
就是思考的"思"
1506
01:29:35,160 --> 01:29:35,770
哦
1507
01:29:39,950 --> 01:29:43,160
我觉得你有点特别
1508
01:29:44,080 --> 01:29:46,160
特别?什么特别?
1509
01:29:46,630 --> 01:29:47,790
特别丑吗?
1510
01:29:48,210 --> 01:29:49,950
不是特别丑啦
1511
01:29:50,630 --> 01:30:00,300
总之…就是特别
1512
01:30:07,060 --> 01:30:08,520
我先帮你吹吧
1513
01:30:09,020 --> 01:30:12,140
小思这一句话 完全把我吓傻了
1514
01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:14,110
我们只认识不到10分钟
1515
01:30:14,280 --> 01:30:17,270
也没聊几句 她就对我这么主动
1516
01:30:17,530 --> 01:30:21,020
天呀 这句话从一个美女口中说出来
1517
01:30:21,200 --> 01:30:25,040
已经让人动袂条了 更何况来真的
1518
01:30:26,580 --> 01:30:29,170
但是在吹之前 先洗个澡 好不好?
1519
01:30:30,340 --> 01:30:33,000
你先把这个表格填一填 我去准备一下
1520
01:30:36,550 --> 01:30:38,540
表格上的每一个字我都懂
1521
01:30:38,680 --> 01:30:41,670
但是每个名词都让我有看没有懂
1522
01:30:41,850 --> 01:30:44,840
星球大战 小蜜蜂 十指弹琴
1523
01:30:45,020 --> 01:30:46,680
漫游世界 空中飞人?
1524
01:30:46,850 --> 01:30:49,340
毒龙钻 加珍珠爆炸糖?
1525
01:30:49,520 --> 01:30:51,810
我看着那张表格 觉得非常茫然
1526
01:30:51,980 --> 01:30:54,070
但是我觉得我不可以在她面前
1527
01:30:54,240 --> 01:30:55,770
表现出好像有选择困难症
1528
01:30:55,950 --> 01:30:58,110
这样太没自信太糗了
1529
01:30:58,280 --> 01:31:01,360
所以 我决定了 全部给他打勾
1530
01:31:02,700 --> 01:31:04,530
你可以进来了
1531
01:31:09,460 --> 01:31:10,870
我帮你把脱去衣服
1532
01:31:16,010 --> 01:31:16,960
好长喔
1533
01:31:17,380 --> 01:31:19,340
什么好长啊?
1534
01:31:20,140 --> 01:31:21,170
就是好长啊…
1535
01:31:21,350 --> 01:31:24,630
我知道"长"是一个相对性的形容词
1536
01:31:24,810 --> 01:31:28,050
所以 我有点不懂小思说的长的意思是
1537
01:31:28,810 --> 01:31:30,350
我比其他客人长呢
1538
01:31:30,520 --> 01:31:33,360
还是说我比牙签长?
1539
01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:54,530
我们先做水床服务
1540
01:31:54,710 --> 01:31:56,580
首先是"飞龙在地"
1541
01:32:34,340 --> 01:32:36,040
接下来是"星球大战"
1542
01:32:46,970 --> 01:32:47,880
转过身去
1543
01:33:08,500 --> 01:33:11,330
接下来是"十指弹琴" "漫游世界"
1544
01:33:25,510 --> 01:33:26,500
我长这么大
1545
01:33:26,680 --> 01:33:29,140
从没有跟女生玩过这种会震的玩具
1546
01:33:29,310 --> 01:33:32,050
这个第一次一定会让我难忘
1547
01:33:32,520 --> 01:33:34,260
这一招一定是"排山倒海"?
1548
01:33:36,190 --> 01:33:37,520
"海底捞月"?
1549
01:33:37,940 --> 01:33:39,520
是"直捣黄龙"
1550
01:33:41,030 --> 01:33:41,730
放松点…
1551
01:33:41,900 --> 01:33:44,860
想不到我的后花园就这样破功了
1552
01:33:45,410 --> 01:33:47,270
不过…说句实话
1553
01:33:47,450 --> 01:33:49,030
真的是爽歪歪
1554
01:33:59,380 --> 01:34:01,040
接下来是"毒龙钻"呀
1555
01:34:13,390 --> 01:34:14,880
差点忘了问你
1556
01:34:15,060 --> 01:34:16,850
要不要加一点爆炸糖?
1557
01:34:17,360 --> 01:34:18,010
啊?
1558
01:34:18,360 --> 01:34:20,350
就是珍珠奶茶里的珍珠啊
1559
01:34:20,530 --> 01:34:23,390
有客人说 加点珍珠 会很舒服的
1560
01:34:23,570 --> 01:34:24,780
我想不用了
1561
01:34:24,990 --> 01:34:26,900
不用怕的 没事
1562
01:34:27,570 --> 01:34:28,400
真的不用啦
1563
01:34:28,870 --> 01:34:31,570
拜托一下 真把我的后花园当垃圾场啦
1564
01:34:31,740 --> 01:34:35,450
虽然我的后花园在两分钟前破功
1565
01:34:35,620 --> 01:34:37,110
我可以接受让美女
1566
01:34:37,290 --> 01:34:38,660
作有限度的参观
1567
01:34:38,840 --> 01:34:41,200
喂 但不代表我一下子就能
1568
01:34:41,380 --> 01:34:43,290
接受把那里当成垃圾掩埋场
1569
01:34:43,460 --> 01:34:45,250
不过 我不会因为这样
1570
01:34:45,430 --> 01:34:46,920
就把她加入拒绝往来户
1571
01:34:47,090 --> 01:34:51,090
我决定用我的三寸不烂之舌对付她
1572
01:34:51,260 --> 01:34:53,050
就是…跟她聊天
1573
01:34:53,220 --> 01:34:56,810
喔 对了 你今天洗几次澡啦?
1574
01:34:57,480 --> 01:34:59,220
第5次了
1575
01:34:59,400 --> 01:35:02,260
这个时候 我觉得有点难过
1576
01:35:02,480 --> 01:35:05,820
每天都要跟陌生男人一起洗那么多次
1577
01:35:06,150 --> 01:35:09,440
到底算是干净还是肮脏?
1578
01:35:09,820 --> 01:35:11,030
我想不通
1579
01:35:11,410 --> 01:35:13,450
这个世界除了大雄的朋友
1580
01:35:13,620 --> 01:35:15,410
宜静跟妓女以外
1581
01:35:15,790 --> 01:35:18,450
根本不会有人洗澡洗那么多次
1582
01:35:18,630 --> 01:35:20,040
你以后有没有什么打算?
1583
01:35:20,380 --> 01:35:23,580
是不是想要多赚一点钱然后做生意啊?
1584
01:35:24,460 --> 01:35:27,050
唔…还不知道…
1585
01:35:27,880 --> 01:35:31,300
哦我知道了 你是想吸收更多经验
1586
01:35:31,470 --> 01:35:33,010
所以在这里先培训
1587
01:35:33,180 --> 01:35:36,140
接着到旁边那间KTV找份好的工作
1588
01:35:36,310 --> 01:35:38,720
然后再深造…
1589
01:35:42,900 --> 01:35:45,480
其实我之前就在那间KTV上班
1590
01:35:46,650 --> 01:35:49,610
那时候 天天都被逼喝酒
1591
01:35:50,160 --> 01:35:52,150
每天都有客人要求过夜
1592
01:35:52,870 --> 01:35:54,980
根本就没有时间好好休息
1593
01:35:56,500 --> 01:35:58,860
直到后来遇到一个客人
1594
01:35:59,040 --> 01:36:02,750
他对我很好 天天都过来找我
1595
01:36:04,590 --> 01:36:07,950
所以我决定跟他认真交往
1596
01:36:10,090 --> 01:36:12,180
可是后来他有了新欢
1597
01:36:14,060 --> 01:36:15,670
就把我抛弃了
1598
01:36:23,440 --> 01:36:25,680
我总是那么的可有可无…
1599
01:36:35,910 --> 01:36:36,870
请不要哭
1600
01:36:37,910 --> 01:36:39,950
把眼泪留给喜极而泣的时侯吧
1601
01:36:40,710 --> 01:36:42,700
我明明是来寻欢(找爽)的
1602
01:36:42,880 --> 01:36:44,290
这是什么情况?
1603
01:36:44,460 --> 01:36:46,950
怎么变成是我在安慰她了呢?
1604
01:36:47,920 --> 01:36:49,830
时间一分一秒的过去
1605
01:36:50,050 --> 01:36:52,540
小思好像一点反应都没有
1606
01:36:53,340 --> 01:36:55,930
塞拎婆啊 难道她也是足球迷?
1607
01:36:56,060 --> 01:36:57,340
想用拖延战术来打混
1608
01:36:57,520 --> 01:36:59,800
拖延我的时间?
1609
01:37:00,140 --> 01:37:03,390
不过没多久 我就知道我错怪了她
1610
01:37:03,560 --> 01:37:05,720
谢谢 好啦 我没事了
1611
01:37:05,900 --> 01:37:07,010
我们继续吧
1612
01:37:24,630 --> 01:37:26,910
阿娘 这招冰火五重天
1613
01:37:27,090 --> 01:37:29,080
是那位高人发明的?
1614
01:37:29,300 --> 01:37:32,260
我不确定这跟黄玉朗有没有关系
1615
01:37:32,430 --> 01:37:35,420
但我非常肯定一定跟中国天人合一
1616
01:37:35,600 --> 01:37:37,960
的哲学思想密不可分
1617
01:37:38,140 --> 01:37:40,760
个人认为 冰火五重天
1618
01:37:40,980 --> 01:37:42,220
应该是中国人
1619
01:37:42,390 --> 01:37:45,760
继造纸和活字印刷之后最伟大的发明
1620
01:37:45,940 --> 01:37:47,680
我们到床上去吧?
1621
01:37:48,570 --> 01:37:49,680
我先去准备一下
1622
01:37:49,860 --> 01:37:53,320
你现在叫我去死 我也会说:YES SIR
1623
01:37:55,990 --> 01:37:57,070
你要做什么?
1624
01:37:57,620 --> 01:37:59,150
帮你做空中飞人呀
1625
01:37:59,790 --> 01:38:01,450
什么是空中飞人啊?
1626
01:38:01,790 --> 01:38:04,000
就是我倒过来帮你吹
1627
01:38:20,390 --> 01:38:23,760
算了…我看不用了 你还是下来吧
1628
01:38:24,310 --> 01:38:25,170
可是你打了勾
1629
01:38:25,350 --> 01:38:27,010
我不做的话 经理会罚钱的
1630
01:38:27,190 --> 01:38:29,430
别怕 是我叫你别做的
1631
01:38:29,610 --> 01:38:30,810
你什么都不用做
1632
01:38:34,820 --> 01:38:37,310
真的什么都不做吗?
1633
01:38:40,830 --> 01:38:42,490
真的什么都不做?
1634
01:39:01,220 --> 01:39:03,090
你可以让我很舒服吗?
1635
01:39:03,810 --> 01:39:04,640
可以
1636
01:40:24,010 --> 01:40:26,170
可以让我在上面试试吗?
1637
01:40:26,350 --> 01:40:29,760
我从来没有遇过会主动要骑我的女生
1638
01:40:29,940 --> 01:40:32,020
对我来说 希罕的程度
1639
01:40:32,190 --> 01:40:34,550
就好像碰到约会准时的女人
1640
01:40:36,110 --> 01:40:38,140
你知道我家在哪里吗?
1641
01:40:40,200 --> 01:40:41,440
这不是重点
1642
01:40:42,820 --> 01:40:43,610
重点是什么?
1643
01:40:44,200 --> 01:40:46,440
重点是因为我从小住在那里
1644
01:40:47,080 --> 01:40:49,440
很早就学会骑马了
1645
01:40:59,470 --> 01:41:01,000
我可以快点吗?
1646
01:41:14,900 --> 01:41:18,610
很舒服啊 可以更久一点吗?
1647
01:41:19,030 --> 01:41:22,270
小思果然是一个骑术盖世的高手
1648
01:41:22,450 --> 01:41:24,400
但是到底赢过几场比赛
1649
01:41:24,570 --> 01:41:27,240
我相信她骑我这种假马的次数
1650
01:41:27,410 --> 01:41:29,820
可能比世界上的冠军骑师骑真马还多
1651
01:41:30,000 --> 01:41:32,450
她的饥渴 让我受宠若惊
1652
01:41:32,620 --> 01:41:33,700
我从来没见过一个上班族
1653
01:41:33,870 --> 01:41:35,210
这么想要加班
1654
01:41:35,380 --> 01:41:36,960
我决定成全她
1655
01:41:37,250 --> 01:41:39,840
make love是一种很奇怪的运动
1656
01:41:40,010 --> 01:41:41,370
愈不集中精神
1657
01:41:41,550 --> 01:41:43,340
小弟弟才会愈持久
1658
01:41:43,510 --> 01:41:45,550
所以 我决定到处乱看
1659
01:41:45,720 --> 01:41:47,800
尽量让自己分心去想别的事情
1660
01:41:47,970 --> 01:41:49,630
分散注意力…
1661
01:41:53,350 --> 01:41:55,340
我辛辛苦苦送你到英国念书
1662
01:41:55,520 --> 01:41:57,680
你这样做对得起我吗?
1663
01:41:59,980 --> 01:42:00,850
怎么了?
1664
01:42:01,030 --> 01:42:02,810
是不是把你弄痛了?
1665
01:42:03,030 --> 01:42:03,770
不是
1666
01:42:05,030 --> 01:42:07,650
不要紧 我等一下再帮你吹起来
1667
01:42:07,830 --> 01:42:09,240
我先拿张纸巾
1668
01:42:09,700 --> 01:42:11,030
湿纸巾?
1669
01:42:12,620 --> 01:42:15,330
你知道这个世界有多少细菌
1670
01:42:15,500 --> 01:42:17,210
消完毒才能安心亲啊
1671
01:42:17,380 --> 01:42:19,660
我们很民主的 投票表决
1672
01:42:19,840 --> 01:42:21,540
Frankie应不应该去嫖妓?
1673
01:42:21,710 --> 01:42:22,830
我叫你不要把我当妓女
1674
01:42:23,010 --> 01:42:24,370
你也不用真的去嫖呀
1675
01:42:24,800 --> 01:42:27,040
我不想再理你这个色魔 我恨死你了
1676
01:42:27,220 --> 01:42:31,590
这样说就不对啦 男人去嫖是天性
1677
01:42:31,770 --> 01:42:33,380
跟肚子饿要吃饭是一样的
1678
01:42:33,560 --> 01:42:34,470
家里没饭吃吗?
1679
01:42:34,640 --> 01:42:36,600
你这个色鬼 平时还一直装
1680
01:42:36,770 --> 01:42:38,260
叫我们不要看那些网站
1681
01:42:38,400 --> 01:42:39,850
根本就是个"魏君子"
1682
01:42:40,020 --> 01:42:41,760
不要再叫我这个代号了
1683
01:42:41,980 --> 01:42:43,100
儿子我做了坏榜样给你
1684
01:42:43,280 --> 01:42:46,240
我说谎 我是名符其实的伪君子
1685
01:42:46,410 --> 01:42:48,070
这不代表我诚信有问题
1686
01:42:48,280 --> 01:42:49,610
有其父必有其子
1687
01:42:49,780 --> 01:42:51,020
我就觉得很奇怪
1688
01:42:51,200 --> 01:42:53,070
你会这么好心去当义工?
1689
01:42:53,540 --> 01:42:56,620
话说回来 你有没有帮伯母消毒?
1690
01:42:57,710 --> 01:42:58,910
马上停止做爱
1691
01:42:59,920 --> 01:43:01,250
回去罚写1000次
1692
01:43:01,420 --> 01:43:02,500
我以后不准嫖妓
1693
01:43:02,670 --> 01:43:03,540
明天交
1694
01:43:05,260 --> 01:43:07,290
有人检举你嫖妓
1695
01:43:07,680 --> 01:43:09,760
这个保险套是不是你掉的?
1696
01:43:10,300 --> 01:43:13,590
这种私人的事不要说出来好吗
1697
01:43:13,770 --> 01:43:15,380
我是收到检举才上来的
1698
01:43:15,560 --> 01:43:16,890
你先调查清楚吧
1699
01:43:17,730 --> 01:43:20,600
老公 我今天穿了丁字裤喔
1700
01:43:20,770 --> 01:43:22,510
拜托你先查清楚吧 员警先生
1701
01:43:29,910 --> 01:43:32,490
早就告诉你不要想太多
1702
01:43:33,040 --> 01:43:34,700
你干吗带着这么多牵挂?
1703
01:43:35,080 --> 01:43:37,950
牵挂太多就忘不下那些过去的事
1704
01:43:49,930 --> 01:43:51,260
不要吵啦
1705
01:43:52,220 --> 01:43:53,960
我…我不是说你…
1706
01:45:45,920 --> 01:45:47,950
我不抽烟 不健康
1707
01:45:48,130 --> 01:45:49,540
你也别抽了
1708
01:46:52,190 --> 01:46:53,930
我差不多要走了
1709
01:46:56,110 --> 01:46:57,820
我送你
1710
01:46:59,660 --> 01:47:00,860
你人很好
1711
01:47:01,410 --> 01:47:04,120
我刚才很开心 也很舒服
1712
01:47:05,040 --> 01:47:06,120
那我们就下一次见吧
1713
01:47:06,290 --> 01:47:06,870
好啊
1714
01:47:08,130 --> 01:47:12,990
不过你很快就会忘记我的
1715
01:47:15,550 --> 01:47:17,160
我留下我的QQ号码给你吧
1716
01:47:17,380 --> 01:47:18,210
好
1717
01:47:34,820 --> 01:47:35,560
再见
1718
01:47:39,740 --> 01:47:41,450
我真的觉得你很特别
1719
01:47:42,330 --> 01:47:43,740
我会记住你的
1720
01:48:32,380 --> 01:48:33,710
你好漂亮
1721
01:49:11,000 --> 01:49:12,450
我会记得你的
1722
01:49:33,150 --> 01:49:35,140
干 要吃什么快点点啦
1723
01:49:35,310 --> 01:49:37,310
人都到齐了
1724
01:49:37,690 --> 01:49:39,150
每人拿二十块钱出来
1725
01:49:39,860 --> 01:49:40,940
为什么要拿20块?
1726
01:49:41,150 --> 01:49:43,610
拿就拿问什么啦
1727
01:49:44,570 --> 01:49:46,360
好啦好啦 各位兄弟
1728
01:49:46,530 --> 01:49:49,200
昨天晚上玩得非常开心
1729
01:49:49,370 --> 01:49:50,320
现在呢
1730
01:49:50,500 --> 01:49:52,910
该是我们开始赛后报告的时候了
1731
01:49:53,080 --> 01:49:54,290
接下来呢 那就由我朋友
1732
01:49:54,460 --> 01:49:55,820
小苏讲解一下
1733
01:49:56,170 --> 01:49:58,000
大家呢 把昨天晚上射了多少次
1734
01:49:58,170 --> 01:49:59,330
写在纸上
1735
01:49:59,510 --> 01:50:00,420
可以不用记名
1736
01:50:00,590 --> 01:50:01,830
但是你喜欢写也可以
1737
01:50:02,010 --> 01:50:03,840
然后呢 每人猜一个总数
1738
01:50:04,010 --> 01:50:04,840
猜中的拿钱
1739
01:50:05,010 --> 01:50:07,340
两个以上猜中就平分 Ok ?
1740
01:50:07,510 --> 01:50:08,130
好
1741
01:50:08,310 --> 01:50:09,720
真无聊
1742
01:50:10,390 --> 01:50:12,970
干 随便写啦 WHO怕WHO
1743
01:50:16,770 --> 01:50:19,180
好啦 每人猜一个总数…
1744
01:50:20,530 --> 01:50:21,520
开票…
1745
01:50:21,820 --> 01:50:22,600
哇 1
1746
01:50:22,780 --> 01:50:24,230
喔 这个身体虚喔
1747
01:50:24,400 --> 01:50:27,440
哇…有没有搞错 真浪费
1748
01:50:27,990 --> 01:50:30,150
那个女的说自己是第一天上班
1749
01:50:30,330 --> 01:50:32,190
没有经验所以…
1750
01:50:32,370 --> 01:50:35,110
白痴 每个都这样说啦
1751
01:50:35,290 --> 01:50:36,660
憨览
1752
01:50:37,920 --> 01:50:39,330
哇…零
1753
01:50:39,500 --> 01:50:40,870
这个也太夸张了吧
1754
01:50:41,050 --> 01:50:42,540
钱太多没地方花
1755
01:50:42,710 --> 01:50:45,550
如果这个人敢承认 他可以回收20块
1756
01:50:45,760 --> 01:50:47,470
我再私人给他五百块 是谁?
1757
01:50:47,640 --> 01:50:50,800
没人认 算啦
1758
01:50:53,980 --> 01:50:56,260
7? 哇
1759
01:50:56,520 --> 01:50:58,480
哇什么啦 就是我
1760
01:50:59,360 --> 01:51:01,390
你那个也可以一夜7次?
1761
01:51:01,570 --> 01:51:02,310
这你不懂了
1762
01:51:02,480 --> 01:51:03,770
男人出来玩
1763
01:51:03,900 --> 01:51:05,560
不是为了娶老婆
1764
01:51:05,780 --> 01:51:07,360
所以一定不能看脸
1765
01:51:07,530 --> 01:51:09,110
一定要找服务好的
1766
01:51:09,370 --> 01:51:11,480
丑女被长期忽略坐冷板橙
1767
01:51:11,700 --> 01:51:13,740
你选她 对她有知遇之恩
1768
01:51:13,910 --> 01:51:15,650
她一定会加倍用心的报答你
1769
01:51:15,830 --> 01:51:16,870
我口渴
1770
01:51:17,040 --> 01:51:17,900
来了…
1771
01:51:23,260 --> 01:51:24,840
我喜欢重一点 用力…
1772
01:51:25,010 --> 01:51:26,870
好的 这样可以吗…
1773
01:51:27,050 --> 01:51:28,380
嗯 烟…
1774
01:51:28,550 --> 01:51:29,460
好
1775
01:51:34,680 --> 01:51:36,420
美女永远不怕没有客人
1776
01:51:36,600 --> 01:51:38,760
所以挑漂亮的又要求服务
1777
01:51:38,940 --> 01:51:40,520
卖笑想啦
1778
01:51:41,270 --> 01:51:44,610
果然是嫖客中的老油条
有智慧
1779
01:51:46,280 --> 01:51:48,610
难道 小龙女… 嗯
1780
01:51:58,080 --> 01:51:59,290
要开始了吗
1781
01:52:04,460 --> 01:52:06,120
脱完衣服自己进来
1782
01:52:15,020 --> 01:52:16,800
洗来洗去只洗这里?
1783
01:52:20,310 --> 01:52:21,140
"三点式"?
1784
01:52:22,860 --> 01:52:25,100
你他妈的想要怎样啦
1785
01:52:26,320 --> 01:52:28,100
可以冲一下别的地方吗
1786
01:52:28,570 --> 01:52:29,780
好呀…
1787
01:52:34,120 --> 01:52:37,530
轻一点有点痛
1788
01:52:38,040 --> 01:52:39,240
你的弟弟这么小
1789
01:52:39,410 --> 01:52:43,000
我不用力抓 怕会跑掉啊
1790
01:52:48,340 --> 01:52:50,300
自己冲干净出来外面等我
1791
01:52:54,350 --> 01:52:57,130
没事的话 我先回工厂啦
1792
01:52:57,390 --> 01:52:58,550
要去嫖再找我
1793
01:52:59,310 --> 01:53:00,260
憨览你
1794
01:53:01,140 --> 01:53:02,350
我们也回去啦
1795
01:53:03,520 --> 01:53:05,310
我决定再留一个晚上
1796
01:53:43,730 --> 01:53:44,590
我是你的女朋友
1797
01:53:44,770 --> 01:53:46,230
当然要第一个支持你
1798
01:53:46,400 --> 01:53:48,560
我永远都是你的头号粉丝
1799
01:54:23,690 --> 01:54:24,800
对不起
1800
01:55:04,270 --> 01:55:05,260
我爱你
1801
01:55:07,190 --> 01:55:09,800
我觉得今天你在床上表现不太一样
1802
01:55:10,270 --> 01:55:12,480
有什么不一样?一直是这样啊
1803
01:55:13,240 --> 01:55:14,900
我有一个问题想问你
1804
01:55:15,070 --> 01:55:16,230
但是你不要生气哦
1805
01:55:16,660 --> 01:55:17,520
你问吧
1806
01:55:18,370 --> 01:55:20,070
你有没有去嫖过?
1807
01:55:24,080 --> 01:55:26,450
先生 你不舒服吗?
1808
01:55:26,620 --> 01:55:28,110
需要帮忙吗?
1809
01:55:29,840 --> 01:55:30,920
我没事 谢谢
1810
01:55:31,630 --> 01:55:34,090
只是…有点伤感…
1811
01:56:04,700 --> 01:56:09,370
有人说 欲望就好像无边无际的森林一样
1812
01:56:09,710 --> 01:56:12,870
一旦走进去 就很难再回头
1813
01:56:13,250 --> 01:56:16,590
这条路到底会通向肉体的天堂
1814
01:56:16,800 --> 01:56:19,710
或者是道德的地狱呢?
1815
01:57:08,600 --> 01:57:10,510
老爸你回去吧
1816
01:57:14,860 --> 01:57:17,270
等我一下别走开 我去买点东西
1817
01:57:17,440 --> 01:57:20,150
我看见他戴着黑框眼镜
1818
01:57:20,280 --> 01:57:21,890
穿着灰色夹克
1819
01:57:22,070 --> 01:57:24,280
蹒跚地走到铁道边
1820
01:57:24,450 --> 01:57:27,910
慢慢跨过栏杆 还不算吃力
1821
01:57:28,160 --> 01:57:30,070
可是他穿过铁道
1822
01:57:30,250 --> 01:57:33,710
要爬上那边月台 就不容易了
1823
01:57:33,880 --> 01:57:37,870
他用两手攀着上面 两脚再向上缩
1824
01:57:38,090 --> 01:57:40,120
他的身子向左微倾
1825
01:57:40,300 --> 01:57:42,210
显出努力的样子
1826
01:57:42,380 --> 01:57:44,750
这时我看见他的背影
1827
01:57:44,930 --> 01:57:48,090
我的泪很快地流下来了
1828
01:57:48,270 --> 01:57:49,850
我赶紧拭干了泪
1829
01:57:50,020 --> 01:57:52,800
怕他看见 也怕别人看见
1830
01:57:52,980 --> 01:57:54,560
我再向外看时
1831
01:57:54,730 --> 01:57:58,220
他已带着橘子往回走了
1832
01:58:02,570 --> 01:58:04,980
啊 老爸 我不吃橘子的
1833
01:58:06,410 --> 01:58:08,070
橘子不是给你的
1834
01:58:13,000 --> 01:58:14,990
大陆做得 容易破掉
1835
01:58:15,170 --> 01:58:17,660
我只是出个差而已
1836
01:58:23,430 --> 01:58:25,340
James说88号不错
1837
01:58:26,470 --> 01:58:28,010
我试过了
1838
01:58:30,850 --> 01:58:32,560
车来了 我走啦
1839
01:58:32,850 --> 01:58:35,390
那一刻 我才真正了解了
1840
01:58:35,560 --> 01:58:37,470
《背影》这篇文章的含意
1841
01:58:37,690 --> 01:58:39,430
而我跟老爸的关系
1842
01:58:39,610 --> 01:58:42,690
也从来没有这么靠近过116003