All language subtitles for Lucifer_S02E09_Homewrecker.English (CC)

[Lucifer] Previously on Lucifer...

I was worried I'd never see you again.

I've had patients who've revealed
a new side of themselves,

But not so much the actual devil.

-We're good, right?
-Yeah, really good.

We can be there for each other as friends
even if it's about another guy.

What is she doing here?

[Chloe] Charlotte Richards,
the defense attorney.

Thought I'd dive into my employment.

Humans are dying because of you.

[Charlotte] I'm stronger than you think.

You seem attached to these creatures,
and I can't figure out why.

We shouldn't be here.

The only place I've ever felt
wanted or respected--

Is here? With humanity?

This is my home. Deal with it, Mother.

["Great Night" playing]

♪ My heart is leading
And I'm under attack ♪

♪ Don't need a cure
Cause I don't wanna go back ♪

[tour guide] Sunshine. Beautiful people.

Expensive cars.

The glamorous life.

Get ready to see the real Los Angeles
on this thrill ride tour.

It appears I've been misled.

Whoever put together this brochure
should get special treatment in Hell.

I don't need you
to show me around the city.

Of course you do.

This is an exciting time, brother.

Now that we're making
Los Angeles our home,

the City of Angels
can finally earn its name.

You are making it a home.

Mom and I are gonna find a way
to get back to the Silver City,

one way or another.

But why?
When Los Angeles has so much to offer?

On your right, you'll see
the famous shop, Pooch Pouch.

The store that sells purses
for purse-size dogs.

Clearly.

Don't have it confused
with the store that sells...

-[woman exclaims]
-Excuse me. Sorry.

...dogs in the shape of purses.

-That's on your left--
-Sorry. Pardon me. Excuse me.

Yeah, thank you.

Please, that's your corner.

[exhales] Right. Forget everything
you just slept through.

Welcome to Los Angeles,
city of reinvention,

where you can become whomever you want.

Uh, if we look over there,
that humongous house in the distance,

the owner, he moved out here
with just $10 and a dream.

Within three years,

he was running the largest
underground sex club in the country.

Los Angeles is also a place
where you can do whatever you want.

To your right-hand side over here,
this follicly-challenged man,

that's Sleepy Pete.
Hello, Pete. Give us a wave.

Everyone wave at Pete.

[excited chatter]

He will sell you
the best molly in the city.

[Lucifer chuckles]

Don't buy his cocaine though.

It's got enough baking soda in it
to make a cake.

It's not a bad idea, as I think about it.

To your right again, my nightclub, Lux,
the city's crowning achievement.

My brother and I are celebrating...

[Lucifer] I don't understand him.

Why won't Amenadiel
embrace this city like I have?

Well, people often need time
to adjust to change,

and he's only been here for a few months.

And if what you say is true--

What? That he's got a stick
so far up his ass,

you can see it when he yawns?

-That he's a fallen angel.
-Uh, yes. That, too.

Then this could be about
more than finding a home for him.

But we're here to talk about you.

Why did you recently decide
that this was your home?

Well, I said it
when I was in a row with my mum.

I didn't realize how true it was
until I yelled it in her face.

Yes, your mother, who is
a literal goddess of all creation.

Still haven't quite wrapped my brain
around that one.

Yes. Well, anyway, her and Amenadiel
want to get back to the Silver City,

but it's not my home. It never was.

And neither was Hell.

No. No, that was somewhere
I was sent as a punishment.

Like the DMV, but less screaming.

So, would you say
that this is your first home?

Yes, I suppose it is.

And why do you think that's the case?

Well, I don't know, Doctor. You tell me.

I find that people
make Los Angeles their home

for one of two reasons.

Either they're running from something,

or looking for something.

Oh. And which one are you?

I'm not the one on the couch, Lucifer.

[chuckles]

So, ask yourself, which is it?

Running or looking?

[Chloe] Lucifer.

Lucifer, get out of the chair.

Come on, Detective.
It's been ages since I've sat in a throne.

There's a lot of personality here,
isn't there?

Appalling personality,
but quantity over quality, I suppose.

-[Chloe sighs]
-[chuckles]

Genuine medieval knight's costume
in a Bel Air mansion.

This man's home definitely was his castle.

Well, it couldn't keep him
safe from invaders.

Crime scene. Let's go.

Hang on.

That's Dean Cooper,
the Los Angeles real-estate tycoon.

Yeah, owns the whole block

and most of the biggest developments
in the city.

Including the entire block that Lux is on.

Deeply unpleasant man.

You wouldn't believe the deal
I had to strike for my lease.

All completely legal.

If somewhat, well,
let's say "morally ambiguous."

Well, that "moral ambiguity"
that he was so famous for

may have finally caught up with him.
Ella, cause of death?

Explosive exsanguination from the carotid,
punctured by

this.

Like from a champagne flute.

Mmm-hmm. Someone really popped his cork.
You know, like...

[makes gushing sound]

You guys, like, the blood's the champagne.

Like, when you open a bottle,
his neck was--

-I got it.
-Okay.

-Did you get any prints?
-Killer wiped it clean.

Okay. Well, maybe he didn't wipe
the glass clean before it broke.

Ella, are any of these pieces here
big enough

-to get a partial from?
-Probably not.

But, hey, someone invented glue
for a reason, right?

You're gonna re-assemble all those pieces?

I'm fairly certain
there are people in Hell

being forced to do exactly that right now.

Oh, I was the kind of kid who did
jigsaw puzzles, picture-side down.

-It's fascinating.
-[cell phone ringing]

Oh.

-What's wrong?
-Maze. Problem at Lux.

"Problem"? What?
One of the Brittanys stub her toe?

You're leaving? Mr. Cooper was
one of the most hated men in the city,

we have tons of suspects to go over.

And if I don't get there soon,

Maze will undoubtedly
fix the problem herself,

-which usually involves knives.
-But--

So unless you want to be blamed
for a four-toed Brittany.

Uh, hello, we're closed.

[indistinct talking]

Maze, did you forget to bribe
the inspectors this month?

Are you the proprietor?

I am. Yes.

And who are you? Lounging around
like you own the place?

Oh, I actually do own the place.

Lucifer Morningstar, you're being evicted.

[theme music playing]

[Lucifer] Right.
Explain what you mean by "evicted,"

and do it carefully,
as your life may depend on it.

Okay, Mr. Morningstar,
my name is Eric Cooper.

I've assumed all of Cooper's
holding and assets, Lux among them.

You're Dean Cooper's son.

Your father was just brutally murdered,

and here you are, scant hours after
you were notified, divvying up the spoils.

I don't know
whether to be horrified or impressed.

What happened to my father
was unfortunate.

Yes.

But business is business.

Well, impressed it is.

Your father and I made a deal
for me to live here,

so I'm sure you and I
can come to some arrangement.

Tell me, Eric.

What is it you desire?

I want my father
to turn over in his grave.

Ooh, hated the old man, eh?
Well, I can relate to that.

My father's not
on my Christmas-card list either.

In fact, I moved here
to get away from him.

Surely, you can understand that.

No, not really.

And I saw your "lease."

It was written in lipstick
on a stripper's thong.

Not exactly legally binding.

Mmm? Well, maybe we can
write the new one in blood.

-I find that to be quite binding.
-Let's not.

You have no legal right to be here.

So, if you don't vacate,
I'll have you removed.

[chuckles]

It's not that easy to remove me.
Last time, it took the power of God.

What do you have?
A few expensive lawyers?

Or are you gonna do it yourself?

Not in front of all of these humans.

If I were you, I'd leave.

That's fine.

This is a police matter now.

Let's go.

It's not like you to get in the way
of a good eviscerating, Maze.

-What was that about?
-You'd be eviscerating the wrong person.

This is your mother's doing.

[chuckles] Mum? How?

You told her
you want to stay here on Earth.

Now, someone's trying
to take Lux away from you.

Don't be absurd, Maze.

I just saw American Psycho's father.

The man wasn't destroyed
by the goddess of creation,

he was killed in a fit of human passion.

But that greasy weasel might be right.
This is a police matter. Lucky me.

Don't act like your mother
isn't capable of this, Lucifer.

That's enough help from you today, Maze,
thank you.

[bangs on table] All right. Fine.

You can't see it,
I'll find someone who will.

I don't see it.

Of course you don't.

So, after you said you'd "handle things,"
you're hiding behind her skirt, again.

I am handling things, Maze.

Mom and I are trying
to find a way back home.

So, why would she murder some human?

That woman is dangerous, duplicitous...

And she's standing
right behind me, isn't she?

Pardon my interruption,
but what am I being blamed for now?

I know what you're doing,

trying to take away
Lucifer's home on Earth,

so he can help you
get back to the Silver City.

It won't work.

The demon is talking
but not making any sense.

Typical, I suppose.

She thinks you killed the man
who owns Lux, to get Lucifer evicted.

[chuck♪les]

Mazikeen.

If I did come up with such a plan,

do you think it would be you
who figured it out?

Whatever you're up to, I will find out.

Oh. She thinks she's smart.

Mom.

You weren't actually involved
in that man's death, right?

Of course not.

But it might be able to be used
to our advantage.

Maybe, Lucifer will agree
to come home with us now.

Right.

All my sons are important.

It isn't about Lucifer,
it's about our family.

I've already lost a son.

I will not leave another one behind.

It doesn't matter, Mom.

Lucifer loves that place.

And no human is gonna make him
give it up as long as it's still standing.

Is that so?

Careful.

And that is how we do it!

Ta' vonlu'.

Ta' von-what?

It's Klingon for "The king is trapped."

In Star Trek, they play
three-dimensional chess.

Okay.

And I'm gonna check this for prints now.

-Great.
-No problem.

-Hey.
-All our info on Dean Cooper.

No rap sheet, which, quite frankly,
is pretty amazing,

-considering his reputation.
-Great. Thank you.

Hey, are you busy?
I could use an assist on this case.

Vice has me wrapped up
on a bomb-making case.

I gotta rush back. Where's Lucifer?

Something came up at his club.
I don't think he's coming back.

Oh, well, don't worry, Chloe.
He never stays away for too long, right?

-[cell phone ringing]
-Mmm?

Hey, Lucifer.
So, did you splint the stubbed toe,

or did you kiss it and make it better?

Well, that's an interesting theory,

but we don't have any evidence
that Eric Cooper is the killer.

[Ella] Mmm, actually, we do.

The prints just came back.

Eric Cooper.

How did you...

Never mind.
I'll meet you at the Cooper building.

So wonderful that you agree with me
for a change, Detective.

-Perhaps you're getting smarter.
-I don't agree with you.

I have actual evidence on Eric Cooper
that I need to look into.

-What do you have?
-Motive.

The little shark liquidated his father,
so he could liquidate his assets.

How do you know he's liquidating assets?

Because he's trying to evict me from Lux
and sell off the building.

You're saying Dean Cooper's son

is making deals just an hour
after his father was found dead?

Exactly. What could be more suspicious?

Hey, when were you gonna mention that
you're personally involved in this case?

-When you ask me.
-No.

This is an extremely high-profile case.
We are doing this by the book.

-I cannot have you terrorizing him.
-I would never.

-Or threatening to tear his arms off.
-That happened one time.

Or hanging him from a window.

I solemnly promise that the man's feet
will remain firmly on the ground.

-[loud crash]
-[glass shatters]

[car alarm blaring]

[people chattering]

[groaning]

That's Eric Cooper.

Just to be clear, that wasn't me.

I mean, who leaps from the seventh floor?
Thirteenth minimum.

And this is the man
forcing me from my home.

-He can't even make a proper suicide jump.
-Lucifer.

Is this really necessary?

Well, witnesses saw him jump off
a balcony by his own free will.

He was distraught.
That doesn't make him a killer.

Well, it points to a guilty conscience.

Christi, I know
this might be hard to hear,

but we have evidence that Eric
was in his father's house before he died.

We live in the same compound.

I'm sure there's DNA or whatever
all over the house.

You can't actually think
that he killed his own father.

[Lucifer] Well, I mean...

Let's not forget Eric's insatiable lust
for Daddy's cold, hard cash.

If he's willing to do something
as monstrous

as turning me out of my house,

then killing his father
isn't such a stretch, is it?

-[Eric grunts]
-[Lucifer] Oh.

My Left Foot's trying to speak.

[straining] No money.

Shh, baby. Don't talk.

What are you trying to say, Eric?

Dad ran the business into the ground.

We were buried in debt.

I thought making emergency sales
could save us, but...

[Christi] But what, baby?

There's nothing left.

I'm sorry.

I couldn't live with disappointing you.

Well, if this is about money,

you should've called me first
before taking that swan dive.

Perhaps you'd like to renegotiate now?

I can't. The deal is made.

How could a sale be made so fast?
Dean Cooper died yesterday.

Is this that deal for all that property
on the Strip?

There's been a buyer
interested in that for years.

Eric's dad had it all drawn up
and then just let it sit on his desk.

He just wanted to torture the buyer.

So, you made the sale as soon as you heard
your father was gone?

Dad couldn't block it anymore,
but it didn't matter.

[exhales] It wasn't enough.

What we have is enough.

You and me.

We don't need money for that.

What a wonderful day.

Potentially homeless
and definitely nauseated.

Well, whoever bought Lux stood to gain
from Dean Cooper's death.

Yes.

This man, the person who owns Lux now,

-what's his name?
-Her.

It's Eleanor Bloom.

Detective, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

I doubt it.
But let's go talk to Eleanor Bloom.

-Yeah. Thank you.
-Thank you.

[exclaims]

[grunting]

♪ I would like to get to know ya ♪

♪ If you think you're going my way ♪

♪ Oh, if you stay with me
Just another day ♪

[man] I think you're in
the wrong place, lady.

-You're Kevin Burnick.
-I am.

Why? You come to take a peek
at the legend?

According to the docket,
one of your clients

is a known explosives expert
named Patrick O'Neil.

I need his help to get my son
to come back home with me.

You look hot and sound crazy,
which is totally my type,

but I don't talk about my clients
out of court.

It's a lawyer thing.

Oh, you misunderstand me.

I'm his lawyer now. You can go home.

[chuckles] Look, lady.
I don't know what you've heard about me,

but when the K-Dog gets a bone,
he doesn't let go.

Touch me and I will sue you so hard...

[loud bang]

[Kevin grunts]

[groaning]

So, you think I had something
to do with Dean Cooper's death?

Well, barely an hour after he was killed,

you closed on a deal
he'd been obstructing for years.

-Sounds convenient.
-Sounds like good business to me.

Cooper intentionally gave you
businesswoman blue balls

just to torture you. It's rather cruel.

And I bought
his favorite golf course last year

and turned it into a landfill
for medical waste.

I see. Well-played.

So, you're saying this was all
a multi-million-dollar prank war?

I'm saying I didn't kill him over a deal.

Besides, I just flew in
from Macau this afternoon.

Check with the airstrip.

You have any other questions,
you can ask my lawyer.

Not so fast, Mummy Warbucks.
I've some questions for you myself.

Lucifer, you promised--

Detective, this woman has my home.

If you're gonna give me some sob story--

Oh, far from it. I know your type.

You don't respond
to emotion or intimidation.

The only thing that gets you going
is a deal.

So, let's make a deal. Shall we?

What do you desire?
Tell me and it's yours.

I want everything Dean Cooper has.

Well, Cooper owned Lux.
So, how about everything apart from that?

Everything.

All I want is what was his.

And then to destroy it.

So, you're going to tear down
all of his properties?

I'm a developer.

I'm gonna knock everything down
and then rebuild.

-Even Lux?
-Especially that place.

That's prime real estate.

-I'm gonna build a mega-mall.
-A "mega-mall"?

Yeah, you know, Gymboree, Sunglass Hut.

Bulldozers get rolling as soon as
my people finish emptying the buildings.

You know, a murder investigation
can tie up a development for years.

I know you know more
than you're telling us.

So, if there's any way at all
that you can help this investigation,

-that would be wonderful.
-[chuckles]

She's good.
I could use a few of her on my team.

The accountants I had
looking over the deal

did find several unreported payments.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars.

You don't hide money like that
unless you don't want anyone to find it.

Bloom was right.

Dean Cooper was making large,
off-the-books payments

and hiding them from his company.

Could be anything. Drugs. Blackmail.

There's no shortage of bad deeds
in Dean Cooper's life.

I'm going to try and trace
where these payments went.

Maybe our killer's on the other end.

Delightful. Whilst you do that,

I'm going to return
to Eleanor Bloom's office

and get my home back.

I'm not sure she's interested in selling.

Well, maybe she'll change her mind

after I turn her world into
a sphincter-loosening nightmare.

Ew. Lucifer.

I'm sorry about your home. I am.

But you have to promise me
you're not really gonna hurt this woman.

Well, then help me, Detective. Arrest her.

I mean, isn't contributing to homelessness
in Los Angeles a crime?

-Lucifer, the law is on bloom's side here.
-[elevator door dings]

I wanna help you,
but we have to find a legal solution.

Okay, so I'm on my own, am I?

That's not what I...

We know you build bombs
for the mob, Patrick.

That's ridiculous.

I deliver pizzas.

Yeah.

We cracked your code.

"Hoping to get a delivery at Slauson
and La Brea tomorrow night.

Enough pepperoni
to feed a family of four."

The mafia, the cartels,

when they hear
that we have you in custody,

and they think for a second
about your ingenious "pizza code,"

they're going to want to keep you quiet.

So...

-You can help me out, right?
-Depends.

[door opens]

[scoffs] Hands off my client, Officer.

You're not his lawyer.

The accused has a constitutional right
to be counseled by whomever they choose.

She can be my lawyer.

I understand your confusion.

You're very attractive.

And I've found that can also mean
you're not very intelligent.

[scoffs]

I've already posted your bail.

No, wait, wait, wait, I can't afford that.

Don't worry, I take payment in trade.

Is it true that you know
how to make bombs?

That's what I'm accused of, yeah.

Have you ever brought down
a building before?

I know how it's done.

[chuckles]

I need you to destroy a nightclub for me.

Let's get out of here, guys.

Hands off my piano!

Hey, man, we're just doing our job.
We don't want any trouble.

You think you can come in here

and take apart my life
without any trouble?

You gentlemen have no idea
who you're dealing with, do you?

Well,

let me show you.

-["Not Tonight" playing]
-[crowd cheering]

♪ I'm in this bitch and I don't wife it ♪

♪ Looking like a brick
And all them zippers on the jacket on ya ♪

♪ He got a thang for a Latin chick ♪

♪ He wanna hear a little Spanish ♪

♪ I told 'em
It ain't shit to practice it ♪

♪ I'm bout to ♪

♪ Walk up with the click ♪

♪ And I ain't lookin' like
The side in this ♪

♪ I'm the opposite
Cause I'm the main event ♪

♪ And I'm about to in it ♪

♪ As the time been tickin'
I been outchea playin' my position ♪

♪ I'm bout to get it our way
Now I'm bout to block the ♪

♪ Some day, some day ♪

[Charlotte] This building
was supposed to be empty.

Well, you know Lucifer, Mom.

He wasn't gonna let this place go
without a fight.

Or a drink.

This is what humans call a "sit-in."

What are you doing here?

Well, I was gonna
blow the building up with C-4.

-Mom, you can't.
-I know. My client is a coward.

Very difficult to convince him
to kill this many people.

No, Mom. That's not what I--

I may be able to use this to my advantage.

♪ Cause I'm the main event
About to in it ♪

♪ As the time been tickin'
I been outchea playin' my position ♪

♪ I'm bout to get it our way
Now I'm bout to block the ♪

♪ Some day, some day ♪

♪ Some time I'll find someone, someone ♪

♪ To tell me I'm somewhat, somewhat ♪

♪ Doing alright, doing alright ♪

♪ Somewhere, somewhere ♪

To what do I owe
the honor of your presence?

I disagree with you wholeheartedly
about wanting to stay here,

but a mother doesn't have to agree
with her son in order to support him.

So, what is it exactly
I'm supposed to "sit-in"?

[chuckles]

Mum, you're actually being a good mum.

We may have our disagreements,
but you're still my son.

I don't want to lose you again.

[Lucifer] Oh-ho!

Doctor! Mum, this is
my therapist, Dr. Linda.

Doctor, this is my mum
in a disturbingly hot body.

Lucifer, I'm sure that sounds strange
to her human brain.

Oh, no, don't worry, Mum.

Dr. Linda's had a crash-course
in celestial beings.

Only melted her brain for about a week.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have guests to get back to.

I'm sure you'll get on
like a house on fire.

♪ Doing alright, doing alright ♪

♪ Somewhere, somewhere ♪

♪ I'ma find me that someone, someone ♪

♪ That somebody that one day, one day ♪

So, you're, uh,

-God's wife.
-Ex-wife.

Oh.

-I prefer not to be defined by him.
-Oh, of course. Of course.

Well, I just wanna say,
it's an honor to meet you.

Thank you for...

For all of...

this

existence. [chuckles]

And I wanna thank you
for taking such good care of my son.

You're so welcome.

Our relationship
must give you a lot to talk about.

Mmm.

I'm not telling you anything
about our sessions.

Simon Halbrooks
of Private Investigative Solutions.

That's my company. Built it myself.

Hmm. Dean Cooper made
several off-the-books,

six-figure payments to you
in the last few weeks.

Those payments were off his books,
not off mine.

I'm legit.

What kind of legit business has clients
hide their payments to you?

Do you trust your fellow officers,

-Detective?
-Excuse me?

Do you know for sure
they wouldn't take a bribe?

Rat you out for the right price?

How can you know who to trust?

I'm the guy who answers those questions.

And how do you do that?

Think of me as a professional tempter.

People hire me to find out
if their R&D guy would sell secrets.

Or if a famous couple's nanny
could be bribed for pictures of the kids.

So, whose loyalty were you testing
at Cooper's company?

That's privileged information.

I just thought you'd want to know
we got calls

about some kind of
an illegal party at Lux.

["Choke" playing]

[crowd cheering loudly]

♪ You want me to chase you ♪

-[music stops]
-[crowd booing]

Aw!

Stormtroopers have arrived, everyone!

Don't worry.
I'll deal with the boys in blue.

You are the boys in blue, aren't you?
The strippers aren't due for another hour.

[chuckles]

Detective, what are you doing with them?

I know him. I'll handle this.

-You sure, Detective?
-I can reason with him.

This doesn't need to be a scene.
I got it.

Okay, guys, let's go.

Thanks, guys.

Lucifer, what the hell were you thinking?

Turn the music back on.
This place is dead.

[chuckles]

Well, you heard the lady! Crank it up!

-[music playing]
-[crowd cheering]

Detective, does that mean
you're on my side now?

Lucifer, this is your home.
I've always been on your side.

Well, if you're gonna stay, come on, stay.

No, I don't wanna dance.

No, no, come on,
you're the guest of honor now.

Come on!

♪ Should I stay or should I go now? ♪

♪ Should I stay or should I go now? ♪

♪ If I go, there will be trouble ♪

♪ And if I stay it will be double ♪

He really does love this place,
doesn't he?

Yeah. "This place."

♪ Should I stay or should I go now? ♪

♪ If I go, there will be trouble ♪

♪ And if I stay it will be double ♪

My son was right about you, Doctor.

You are quite insightful.

[man snoring]

For a moment there,
you were actually having fun, Detective.

Obviously, it was temporary insanity,
as now you're back at work.

Well, as any parent knows,
the best time to get things done

is when everyone else is asleep.

So, what have we got?

Well, I've been going through these
payments to our "professional tempter,"

none of them match up to the timing
of any of Cooper's new hires.

I just can't figure out
who they were investigating.

Riveting. But I meant,
what've we got to prevent my club

from being bulldozed into a Cinnabon?

Lucifer, I'm sorry, but that trick
that I pulled last night

is only gonna work once.

I can't see another way
to save this place.

Well, then, we need to
look harder, Detective.

This is about more than me.

I mean, do you know
the history of sin in this place?

It was an institution
decades before I ran it.

That crack in that mirror there,

that crack is still there
from when Ava Gardner

threw a scotch glass at Sinatra's head.

[chuckles] Underneath here,
there's Prohibition tunnels everywhere.

Howard Hughes used to use 'em

to sneak his mistresses
away from his other mistresses.

And that stool that you're sitting on,
that very stool, Detective,

this may disturb and titillate you--

We have to go see Simon Halbrooks again.

I think I know who he had
Cooper looking into.

Well, I'm sorry,
I can't leave Lux undefended.

Really?

Okay.

Eleanor Bloom's entire moving crew
is passed out on your floor.

The police aren't gonna be here
for at least another day.

Lux is fine.

I really need your help here.

Really?

[men laughing]

-You don't trust her either, do you?
-[sighs]

It's not what you think, Maze.

Listen, when I first came to Earth,
I made certain mistakes, all right?

I'm just making sure Mom
doesn't make the same ones.

That's it. I'm protecting her.

[scoffs] Right.

She didn't tell you
who she was meeting, did she?

So, who do you think it is, hmm?

An assassin?

A terrorist?

I'm quite sure it's no one so dramatic.

[gasps softly]

I did not see that coming.

♪ Lead away, lead away ♪

♪ Little sugar... ♪

I saw a sadness in you.

A sadness and a strength.

Look, I know this is forward of me,

but you wanna grab a drink in my room?

I mean, I probably shouldn't.

Oh, you definitely shouldn't.

I mean, I'm all for examining
your innermost desires,

but at least examine your options first.

Uh, hey, buddy. I'm working here.

Indeed you are.

And it is literally your job
to seduce her,

and report back
to her fiancé's wealthy parents.

Or am I wrong?

[woman scoffs]

Uh, something I said?

You don't just tempt
potential employees, Simon.

You also go after potential spouses.

Dean Cooper's payments started to you
just after his son got engaged to Christi.

Care to explain?

It's true.
Old man Cooper didn't trust Christi.

She came from Nowheresville, Michigan,
where they put cars on blocks in yards.

So, Dean Cooper thought
she was after his son's money

and hired you to prove
that she was just a gold digger?

And I approached her.

Rented Bentley, fake Rolex,
the whole nine yards.

-I laid it on thick.
-And? Did she sleep with you?

She passed. She stayed faithful.

What? You couldn't seduce her
with your fake Rolex?

-Well, color me shocked.
-[chuckles]

Hey, man, my success rate is pretty high.

She really was in love with her fiancé.
It happens sometimes.

So, if she didn't cheat,
then what happened with Dean Cooper?

I told the old man the truth.
But it didn't matter. He didn't like her.

Even if there was
no evidence of her cheating,

he wanted me to make some.

"Make some"?

I Photoshopped pictures of her
in some compromising positions.

What? It was a lot of money.

So, Dean Cooper tried to blackmail Christi
into breaking off her engagement

with fake proof of her cheating?

That's some serious motive for murder.

The poor girl was just trying
to find a place to belong.

And you, you vile insect,
took that away from her.

If you ask me, she killed the wrong man.

Lucifer, come on.

Detective, this man
is a professional home-wrecker!

And when it gets out what he's done,
he will be out of business.

That will have to be
punishment enough. Please.

[sighs] Very well, Detective.

I'm not gonna lie, I was, uh...

I was pretty surprised when you called me.

Even more surprised
you actually invited me out.

You know, as soon as I walked
into that interrogation room,

I felt a spark between us.

Yeah? Me, too.

I'm surprised you're still single.

-[laughs]
-Lucky me.

Look, I'm gonna be honest with you,
I've been a little bit gun-shy

about the whole dating thing,
you know, since my split.

Oh, I understand.

I went through a bad break-up myself.

Honestly, I was in Hell
for what felt like forever.

I've only recently come back.

What happened with you two?

Was there someone else?

No, no. No, nothing like that.

-But...
-But?

[sighs]

There's this guy
that she spends a lot of time with.

And he definitely has a thing for her,

but, I mean, I don't know
if it's reciprocated.

-You know...
-Go on.

I think you were right, Maze.

They must be discussing
some evil, terrible plans,

-and we must stop them.
-No.

Let's let it play out.

Just to be safe.

Wow. You know, I haven't really had anyone
to talk about my ex with,

and it feels really good to get it out.

Yes. It certainly does clarify things.

Whoa. Wait. I'm so sorry.

I, um...

I totally overshared, didn't I?

I haven't done this in a while,

and I screwed it up.

Well, I suppose I do have some time,

and you are fairly attractive.

[chuckles] What?

[groans]

[camera clicks]

Oh. That's a keeper.

Come on. Let's go. I know where he lives.

I'm not gonna go
watch my mother make out with Dan.

They're not gonna make out.

They're gonna... [grunts]

-I know what they're going to go do, Maze!
-[moans]

-Fine. I'll report back.
-Maze, stop.

This is just an innocent date.

"An innocent date"?

-With Chloe's ex.
-Yeah, they're colleagues.

She was in Hell for thousands of years,
and he's a good-enough-looking guy.

Please don't make me
explain this anymore.

[chuckles] But it is so much fun
to torture you.

Look,

I'm not gonna interfere with my mother
enjoying a little bit of happiness.

Please.

Fine.

It's not like I wanted to watch anyway.
Even I have my limits.

[keypad dialing]

It's me.

Forget the building,
I need a smaller charge

for, say, one person.

Don't worry about that.

I'm going to do this one myself.

[doorbell chimes]

Mr. Cooper, sorry to bother you.
We just have a few more questions.

Can your fiancée vouch
for your whereabouts

the morning your father was killed?

No, she was out looking for a venue
for the wedding.

-Why?
-[Christi] What is this?

I thought Eric
had been cleared of the charges.

Oh, he has.

Because we now know that you're the one
who killed your father-in-law, Christi.

What?

Eric's father created fake evidence
that you were cheating

and tried to blackmail you into leaving.

And then he had a little champagne toast
to evil while he did it.

No wonder you wanted to
jam it down his throat.

-I...
-No.

No, I did it.

My father, he showed me the evidence
and I knew it was fake.

Christi would never...

And the fact that he would stoop so low,
I couldn't help myself.

I flew into a rage.

Well, if that's the case,
Eric Cooper, you're under arrest--

No.

It was me. It happened all like you said.

Christi.

[stutters] I'm the one
who did it, not Eric.

I think he did it.

You two realize that
if you confess to this crime,

there's a good chance
you both will go to jail?

Whatever we face, we face together.

I don't understand.
The one of you who didn't do it,

you'll lose everything.

No, we won't.

No one was willing to stand
next to you in front of the bulldozers?

[chuckles] No.

No, I sent everybody home.

I thought I'd say my good-byes on my own.

"Good-byes"?

I thought you were gonna
fight for this place.

Well, it occurred to me
that much as I love this place,

I can always build a new one.

I mean, it wasn't the walls
that made it my home.

-The people.
-Yes.

Well, the women.

But they'll flock
to any new place I go to, so...

Hmm.

Well, that makes this
sort of anti-climactic,

but Lux has been named a heritage site
by Los Angeles County.

-Detective, is this--
-I had a friend

in the City Council push it through,

and I used your little history lesson
as inspiration.

Lux is protected now.

It can't be demolished for development.

Detective...

[chuckles softly]

You saved my home.

Well, you'd still have to
buy it back from Eleanor Bloom,

I'm sure, well above market price,

[breathes deeply]

but you could afford it.

I mean, I simply don't know what to say.

I'm normally the one doing the favors,
and for a price.

Friends help each other out.

Right, well, let me at least
buy you dinner tonight, to celebrate.

I know this amazing steak house,

and the chef's
an absolute artist in the kitchen.

I mean, he's also a degenerate gambler
and owes me a favor.

Otherwise, you'll just go home
and eat one of those poisonous sandwiches

you get from the vending machine at work.

Come on, Detective.

Friends help each other out.

[Lucifer] She saved Lux.

No strings attached. I didn't even ask.

Well, Chloe saw that your home
is a very important place to you.

Does it really surprise you
that she'd wanna help you protect it?

Well, I...

People make gestures like that
all the time.

You just saw two people
go to jail for each other.

But those people were clearly insane.
Now their home is a jail cell.

You realized earlier that "home"
meant more to you than Lux,

that you could lose Lux
and still have a place here.

Because Los Angeles is my home. Lux or no.

Are you sure that's what
you were really looking for?

Well, what else would it be?

Something occurred to me
when you introduced me to your mother.

Why is it that I'm the only human
in your life

who knows who you really are?

Because you asked me, remember?
You insisted that I show you.

Detective Decker has asked you many times.

And I always tell her the truth.

But you know she doesn't believe you.

You could show her your true face,

but you don't.

Why is that?

Do you think it's because
you might be afraid

of how she might react?

Because you care that much
about what she thinks of you?

[stammers] No, I'm sorry.

Doctor, I don't really understand
where you're going with this.

I think you did come to Los Angeles
looking for something.

But I also think you've stopped.

Because maybe you found it.

♪ Devil, devil ♪

♪ Bones of metal, metal ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ You torture saints
With a single glance ♪

♪ Make them think
They ever stood a chance ♪

♪ Do not try me devil, devil ♪

♪ Cannot buy me devil, devil ♪

♪ You won't make a fool of me
Oh, no ♪

♪ What makes you so special, special ♪

♪ To think I would ever settle ♪

♪ Do not try me devil, devil ♪

♪ Cannot buy me devil, devil ♪

♪ You won't make a fool of me
Oh, no ♪

♪ What makes you so special, special ♪

[beeping]

♪ To think I would ever settle ♪

♪ For that devious dance between me ♪

♪ And you devil, devil ♪

[theme music playing]