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[theme music]
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RADIO: Good morning Los Angeles.
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And what a beautiful
one it is too, right
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here in the City of the Angels.
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This is Jack Michaelson.
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What are you doing?
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I thought you wanted
to hear some music?
8
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Yeah, but he's talking
about the City of the Angels.
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Don't you want to
support the home team?
10
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Besides this guy Jack
Michaelson, he's OK.
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Really.
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Yeah, he did a show about
cops once and all the junk
13
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they have to put up with.
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I mean, the guy is great.
15
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He really knows what
he's talking about.
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Put it back on.
17
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,508
There you go.
18
00:02:15,586 --> 00:02:16,835
RADIO: And we're here
today with Mary Ann McKenna
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talking about the
exploitation of women
20
00:02:18,788 --> 00:02:22,299
in general and beauty pageant
contestants in particular.
21
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,217
Boy is this guy full of it.
22
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Well, you just said--
23
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I know what I just said.
24
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When he talks
about cops he's OK.
25
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When he talks about women's
lib he is full of it.
26
00:02:31,343 --> 00:02:32,434
- Oh, you think so?
- Yes.
27
00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:33,393
I don't have to think so.
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00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:34,962
I know so.
29
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Nobody on the face of this
earth has it as easy as women,
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especially good looking ones.
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Oh Mark, come on.
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Don't come on me.
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I mean, what is that old saying?
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Diamonds are a
girl's best friend.
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And what does a man get, huh?
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00:02:48,151 --> 00:02:49,034
What does he get?
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A dog.
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00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:51,979
Yeah well, there's
another old saying,
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don't judge a person until you
walk a mile in their moccasins.
40
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,216
They don't wear moccasins.
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00:02:56,293 --> 00:02:58,251
Men wear moccasins.
42
00:02:58,328 --> 00:03:02,130
They wear Gucci's, or
Pucci's or Gucci's.
43
00:03:02,207 --> 00:03:03,048
Hey, I didn't make it up.
44
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Ask anybody.
45
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,725
Ask the boss.
46
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If it wasn't for Eve we'd still
all be in a garden somewhere
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having to fix the grapes.
48
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,442
Hey, Mark.
49
00:03:13,518 --> 00:03:14,401
MARK GORDON: What?
50
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You just ran a red light.
51
00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:16,937
Oh, come on.
52
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It was yellow.
53
00:03:18,181 --> 00:03:19,439
Well, I think it was red.
54
00:03:19,516 --> 00:03:21,158
So does the cop behind us.
55
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[police siren]
56
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Oh no.
57
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:43,213
Sure glad I keep my
badge and my wallet here.
58
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Watch me handle this.
59
00:03:46,376 --> 00:03:47,259
Hey, pal.
60
00:03:47,335 --> 00:03:48,651
I used to be a cop myself.
61
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,762
I didn't mean to run
that light but my friend
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00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:53,390
and I were arguing about all
this women's lib garbage,
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00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:55,809
you know.
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Is that so.
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Cute, Jonathan.
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00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,148
Cute.
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00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:05,369
[music playing]
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Worldwide Pictures,
what are we doing here?
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00:04:17,907 --> 00:04:19,115
I don't know.
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00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,668
All I know is this is
where the assignment is.
71
00:04:21,745 --> 00:04:22,344
Hi.
72
00:04:22,421 --> 00:04:23,494
What can I do for you?
73
00:04:23,572 --> 00:04:25,222
Jonathan Smith
and Mark Gordon.
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00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,381
Smith and Gordon.
75
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:27,340
Let's see.
76
00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:28,741
OK.
77
00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:29,826
Park your car in
any unmarked spot
78
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,319
and then head up to security.
79
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,846
Sam Quigley will give
you a lot passes.
80
00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:35,348
Sam Quigley, he didn't used
to be a cop in Oakland did he?
81
00:04:35,425 --> 00:04:36,725
Yeah, he used to
be an Oakland cop.
82
00:04:36,801 --> 00:04:38,101
He's head of security here now.
83
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:38,986
Well, I'll be.
84
00:04:39,062 --> 00:04:39,945
Hey, thanks a lot.
85
00:04:40,022 --> 00:04:40,862
You bet.
86
00:04:43,558 --> 00:04:44,432
Wait till you meet Sam.
87
00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:45,358
You're going to love him.
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00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:46,760
I mean, he's a great guy.
89
00:04:46,837 --> 00:04:47,995
He's a real man's man,
you know what I mean.
90
00:04:48,071 --> 00:04:49,571
How long has it been
since you seen him?
91
00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:50,697
Oh, I don't know.
92
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,666
10, 15 years.
93
00:04:52,743 --> 00:04:54,868
He's not in any trouble is he?
94
00:04:54,944 --> 00:04:56,369
He's not our assignment is he?
95
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:59,873
Well, he's part of it.
96
00:04:59,949 --> 00:05:01,583
Gentlemen, you can go in now.
97
00:05:01,659 --> 00:05:02,718
Thank you very much.
98
00:05:05,455 --> 00:05:06,555
Hey, Sam.
99
00:05:06,631 --> 00:05:07,839
Hey.
Hey, Gord-o.
100
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,382
How are you buddy?
Hey, hey.
101
00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:10,850
Oh, man it's good to see you.
102
00:05:10,928 --> 00:05:12,144
- It's good to see you, too.
- You look great.
103
00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:13,303
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, Sam.
104
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,471
This is my friend,
Jonathan Smith.
105
00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:15,738
Hey, how you doing?
106
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,873
Fine, it's a
pleasure, you know.
107
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:17,749
Yeah.
Come on, sit down you guys.
108
00:05:17,826 --> 00:05:18,358
You wanna sit down?
109
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Go ahead.
110
00:05:20,211 --> 00:05:23,897
So, so you two are going to be
working for Linda Blackwell,
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00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:24,856
huh?
112
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,232
Linda Blackwell,
the movie star?
113
00:05:26,309 --> 00:05:27,825
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
114
00:05:27,903 --> 00:05:29,069
Well you couldn't be
working for a better person.
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00:05:29,145 --> 00:05:30,144
She's a hell of a lady.
116
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I'll tell you.
117
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She is that.
118
00:05:32,241 --> 00:05:33,573
We've done all right
for yourself, Sam.
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00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:35,742
Head of security
for a big studio.
120
00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,577
You check out all the
new employees yourself?
121
00:05:37,654 --> 00:05:40,705
No, no just anyone who
works for Miss Blackwell.
122
00:05:40,782 --> 00:05:43,500
I, I feel kind of protective
of her, that's all.
123
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,627
And with you guys set up
to be her new bodyguard
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00:05:45,703 --> 00:05:48,922
and hairdresser, well I,
just didn't make any sense
125
00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:49,890
when I looked at your resumes.
126
00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:52,217
It, uh, it looked kind of fishy.
127
00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:54,219
Oh well, if you mean
Jonathan, I can vouch for him.
128
00:05:54,295 --> 00:05:55,387
No, no.
129
00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:56,471
Smith checked out just fine.
130
00:05:56,548 --> 00:05:58,598
But what I couldn't
figure out is
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00:05:58,675 --> 00:06:01,434
what is a former Oakland
cop doing applying
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00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:04,104
for a job as a hairdresser.
133
00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:05,939
A hairdresser?
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00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:07,131
Me?
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00:06:07,209 --> 00:06:08,149
But then I
figured, you know, I
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00:06:08,226 --> 00:06:09,776
haven't seen old Gord-o
here for 10 or 15
137
00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:11,611
years and people do change.
138
00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:14,239
And then your records
from your beauty college
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checked out just fine.
140
00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:18,910
From my beauty college?
141
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,745
SAM QUIGLEY: Yeah, right.
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00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:24,624
Well, you two, why don't
you head over the stage 21.
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00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:26,376
Miss Blackwell's dressing
room is right there.
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00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:29,587
And well, here's
your ID and just keep
145
00:06:29,664 --> 00:06:30,630
it with you at all times, OK.
146
00:06:30,707 --> 00:06:32,332
All right, thanks.
147
00:06:32,408 --> 00:06:33,466
Why don't we get together
tonight and shoot some pool,
148
00:06:33,543 --> 00:06:34,801
drink some beer
like the old days?
149
00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:36,719
Sure, you still
like to do that, huh?
150
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:37,720
Well sure, why wouldn't I?
151
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,372
Well, I don't know.
152
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:40,390
You used to be a cop,
now you're a hairdresser.
153
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:41,599
I just--
154
00:06:41,676 --> 00:06:43,101
Hey, what's that
supposed to mean?
155
00:06:43,178 --> 00:06:44,302
I was just
kidding, Gord-o, hey.
156
00:06:44,113 --> 00:06:45,478
All right, we'll
see you later.
157
00:06:45,555 --> 00:06:46,821
- All right, see you.
- Take care.
158
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,064
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
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00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:48,990
Good bye.
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00:06:57,192 --> 00:06:58,041
Jonathan.
161
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:02,162
Jonathan, wait a minute.
162
00:07:02,238 --> 00:07:03,738
This is crazy.
163
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:04,497
I don't know anything
about hairdressing.
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00:07:04,574 --> 00:07:06,366
Well, you must.
165
00:07:06,442 --> 00:07:07,292
How else could you have
graduated from beauty college?
166
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,443
Look, I'm serious.
167
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,253
So am I. Now,
the boss wouldn't
168
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,838
give you this assignment
if he didn't think
169
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:13,298
you could handle it.
170
00:07:13,374 --> 00:07:14,716
Now, here.
171
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,076
What's this?
172
00:07:16,152 --> 00:07:17,927
It's your hairdressing bag.
173
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,512
Come on.
174
00:07:19,589 --> 00:07:21,205
Oh, great.
175
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,349
I haven't been a hairdresser
for five minutes already
176
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,276
and I'm carrying a purse.
177
00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:35,862
Hi, babe.
178
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:36,779
How are you doing?
179
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,823
Oh, just fine, Todd.
180
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:41,117
Listen we got that, that
big love scene this morning.
181
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,661
Thought you might want
to go over it, you know.
182
00:07:43,738 --> 00:07:44,537
Yeah, yeah.
183
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:45,497
I know.
184
00:07:45,573 --> 00:07:46,748
I know my lines.
185
00:07:46,824 --> 00:07:50,043
I wasn't talking about lines.
186
00:07:50,119 --> 00:07:54,297
Yeah well, why don't we just
save it for the camera, huh?
187
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:57,509
Well, I can't play a
scene, you know, without,
188
00:07:57,585 --> 00:07:58,885
without feeling the part.
189
00:07:58,962 --> 00:08:00,520
Right the parts, not my parts.
190
00:08:00,597 --> 00:08:02,138
Just let go, Todd.
191
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:06,267
I can't play a scene without
some feeling, you know.
192
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,161
Well, I'll tell you
what, when we get out
193
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,063
there why don't you just
close your eyes and pretend
194
00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:10,989
I'm your wife.
195
00:08:13,935 --> 00:08:18,321
Look, we're both
mature adults, you know.
196
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,239
I got needs.
197
00:08:19,315 --> 00:08:20,698
You got needs.
198
00:08:20,775 --> 00:08:22,951
All God's children got needs.
199
00:08:23,027 --> 00:08:25,078
He really would like to
have his name used in vain,
200
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:25,870
you know.
201
00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:27,172
Hey, take a hike will ya.
202
00:08:27,249 --> 00:08:29,415
I think that's what
the lady wants you to do.
203
00:08:29,492 --> 00:08:30,375
And who are you?
204
00:08:30,451 --> 00:08:31,401
Jonathan Smith.
205
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,927
I work for Miss Blackwell.
206
00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:34,221
I'm Mark Gordon, in
case you're interested.
207
00:08:34,297 --> 00:08:35,472
I work for her too.
208
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,173
Mark Gordon, my
new hairdresser.
209
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,441
Hi.
210
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,476
Mr. Richie raves about you.
211
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:40,894
TODD JEFFRIES: The hairdresser.
212
00:08:40,971 --> 00:08:42,428
Well, why don't
you and Mr. Richie
213
00:08:42,505 --> 00:08:44,931
here go, uh, warm your curlers.
214
00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:47,267
Hey, enough with the
hairdresser jokes, huh.
215
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,601
What are you going
to do about it?
216
00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:50,228
Hit me with your purse?
217
00:08:50,305 --> 00:08:51,187
All right, that's it.
218
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,355
Uh, Mark.
219
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,347
That's my job.
220
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:57,927
Now when your feet
touch the floor
221
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,038
you use them to walk
away, all right.
222
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:06,127
Linda, you're going to hear
from my agent about this guy.
223
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,044
Men are such idiots.
224
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,963
Thank you, Smith,
but next time would
225
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:18,506
you try and use a
little more finesse
226
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:19,924
and a little less macho.
227
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:21,518
I have to work with that man.
228
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,036
Yes, ma'am.
229
00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:24,796
I'm no more impressed
with men brawling over me
230
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,055
than I am with that
jerk trying to paw me.
231
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,599
I'll remember
that Miss Blackwell.
232
00:09:27,675 --> 00:09:28,741
Thank you.
233
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,318
Now Mark, would you curl me out?
234
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:32,070
We'll have a little girl
talk in my dressing room.
235
00:09:44,025 --> 00:09:45,158
Well don't just stand there.
236
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:47,660
Come on in.
237
00:09:47,737 --> 00:09:49,370
So what do you think?
238
00:09:49,447 --> 00:09:50,830
About what?
239
00:09:50,907 --> 00:09:51,898
My hair, silly.
240
00:09:51,975 --> 00:09:55,209
Do you think I should cut it?
241
00:09:55,286 --> 00:09:58,171
Oh, I don't know.
242
00:09:58,247 --> 00:10:01,341
Maybe a little trim
around the ears.
243
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:03,009
Trim around the ears?
244
00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:05,678
Yeah, that's all
I ever do with mine.
245
00:10:05,755 --> 00:10:07,180
Oh, trim around the ears.
Very cute.
246
00:10:07,256 --> 00:10:08,964
Now come on, the truth,
what do you think?
247
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,893
Truth is I think you came
down kind of hard on Jonathan.
248
00:10:11,969 --> 00:10:13,686
Jonathan Smith?
249
00:10:13,763 --> 00:10:15,188
Yeah, he was just
trying to protect you.
250
00:10:15,264 --> 00:10:16,398
Oh, he's not.
251
00:10:16,474 --> 00:10:17,398
He's just trying to impress me.
252
00:10:17,475 --> 00:10:18,624
Come on.
253
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,684
I've been around
these muscle boys.
254
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:20,610
All these men are alike.
255
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,111
They're just all on the make.
256
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,171
Come on.
257
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,247
Not all men are like that.
258
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,784
Well maybe you're not,
but you know what I mean.
259
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:31,204
Listen, Jonathan is
not like that either.
260
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,749
I'm sure he's a perfect angel.
261
00:10:34,826 --> 00:10:36,217
You know, you're
right about that.
262
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:41,381
Oh listen, I'm really sorry.
263
00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:44,926
I didn't mean to say
anything to upset you.
264
00:10:45,002 --> 00:10:48,096
I guess I was really
wrong about Jonathan.
265
00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:51,191
So how long have you
two been together?
266
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:52,809
Oh, we've been going
around the country
267
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:55,770
together for about a
year and a half and--
268
00:10:55,847 --> 00:10:57,046
hey wait a minute.
269
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,482
What are you talking about here?
270
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:00,692
Well, about you Jonathan.
271
00:11:00,768 --> 00:11:02,485
What about me and Jonathan?
272
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,704
Hey, why are you getting
so defensive, Mark?
273
00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:05,972
I mean, I don't care.
274
00:11:06,049 --> 00:11:07,374
I mean, live and
let live, you know.
275
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:09,784
Hey now, just, just hold it
here one second, all right.
276
00:11:09,861 --> 00:11:11,077
[knock on door]
277
00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:12,845
JONATHAN SMITH: Excuse
me, Miss Blackwell.
278
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,747
I'm sorry to interrupt, but
you're wanted on the set.
279
00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:15,707
Oh, yeah.
280
00:11:15,783 --> 00:11:16,749
I'll be right there.
281
00:11:16,826 --> 00:11:20,086
I'll see you after lunch, Mark.
282
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,796
Jonathan, I just wanted
to say I'm sorry I
283
00:11:21,873 --> 00:11:23,056
was so catty this morning.
284
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,508
I think you and Mark
will work out just fine.
285
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:26,434
Thank you very much.
286
00:11:28,963 --> 00:11:31,472
Hey, looks like you two
really hit it off, huh.
287
00:11:31,549 --> 00:11:32,390
I mean, that's it.
288
00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:33,850
I'm off this assignment.
289
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,017
I mean, I can't handle this one.
290
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:35,977
I'm out.
I'm gone.
291
00:11:36,053 --> 00:11:36,861
I'm history.
292
00:11:36,938 --> 00:11:39,188
I mean, no way Jose.
293
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:40,990
All right, if
that's what you feel.
294
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,401
Of course you'll sure be
letting your buddy Sam down.
295
00:11:43,478 --> 00:11:45,211
What do you mean?
296
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,779
Just like I told you,
he's part of the assignment.
297
00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:48,448
Look Jonathan, you
don't understand.
298
00:11:48,524 --> 00:11:49,949
It's not important
that I understand.
299
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:51,367
I didn't give the assignment.
300
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,552
The boss did.
301
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,912
If you want out of
it, just tell him.
302
00:11:54,989 --> 00:11:56,297
See you in the commissary.
303
00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,126
OK.
OK.
304
00:12:00,203 --> 00:12:01,261
But I don't like it.
305
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,758
Hey, guys.
306
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:07,842
Do you mind if I
pull up a chair.
307
00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:11,012
Sure, come on.
308
00:12:11,088 --> 00:12:13,598
Beer and a couple of racks
of pool tonight, right?
309
00:12:13,674 --> 00:12:15,224
You got it, pal.
310
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:18,019
Hey, Jonathan, I hear you
had a run in with that jerk
311
00:12:18,095 --> 00:12:19,854
Todd Jeffries this morning.
312
00:12:19,931 --> 00:12:21,463
Word travels fast, huh?
313
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,523
Yeah well, I wouldn't
worry about it.
314
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,567
If that jerk tries
anything with his agent
315
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,153
I'll back you up all the way.
316
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,488
He's lucky it was
you instead of me
317
00:12:28,564 --> 00:12:29,947
because if that clown
had tried anything
318
00:12:30,024 --> 00:12:31,240
with Linda with me
around he'd be picking
319
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,025
pavement out of his teeth.
320
00:12:33,103 --> 00:12:35,495
Oh, sounds like you
really care about her, huh?
321
00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:36,746
Yeah.
322
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:37,705
Yeah.
323
00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,081
I guess so.
324
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,176
You ever told her so?
325
00:12:41,252 --> 00:12:43,127
What are you talking about?
326
00:12:43,204 --> 00:12:44,845
I mean, you're
single, she's single,
327
00:12:44,923 --> 00:12:47,724
you both seem like nice people,
so why don't you ask her out?
328
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,009
Are you kidding me?
329
00:12:50,086 --> 00:12:51,886
Hey come on, she doesn't
even know I'm alive.
330
00:12:51,963 --> 00:12:53,103
Yeah well, whose
fault is that?
331
00:12:53,181 --> 00:12:54,096
SAM QUIGLEY: Come on, Mark.
332
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:55,348
She's a movie star.
333
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:56,941
I'm a cop.
334
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:59,519
She's a person,
maybe she's lonely.
335
00:12:59,595 --> 00:13:01,570
Are you kidding me, huh?
336
00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:03,731
Come on, she's one of the most
beautiful women in the world.
337
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,817
She's got leading men
hitting on her all the time.
338
00:13:05,893 --> 00:13:06,959
Oh, I know.
339
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,427
I met one of them this morning.
340
00:13:08,505 --> 00:13:10,029
If he's any example it's
no wonder she doesn't
341
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:11,697
have a high opinion of men.
342
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:13,366
You know he's right, Sam.
343
00:13:13,443 --> 00:13:14,600
I mean, what's it going
to hurt to ask her out?
344
00:13:14,677 --> 00:13:16,869
My pride when she
laughs in my face.
345
00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:18,337
Hey, if she does
that, she's not somebody
346
00:13:18,415 --> 00:13:20,340
you should take out
in the first place.
347
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:22,041
Yeah.
348
00:13:22,118 --> 00:13:24,293
Yeah, I know.
349
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,879
Look if I thought I had
half a chance why I'd--
350
00:13:26,956 --> 00:13:30,091
hey, you know what, you know,
you could check it out for me.
351
00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:31,384
I mean, really, you could.
352
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:32,385
You could see if she,
she wouldn't mind
353
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:33,886
me asking her out, you know.
354
00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:34,846
I mean, come on.
355
00:13:34,922 --> 00:13:36,305
Women, women confide.
356
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,099
They talk straight to the
hairdressers all the time.
357
00:13:38,175 --> 00:13:39,441
All right, all right.
358
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:40,168
I'll see what I can find out.
359
00:13:40,244 --> 00:13:41,236
That guy.
That's good.
360
00:13:41,312 --> 00:13:42,019
Thanks.
361
00:13:42,096 --> 00:13:43,604
Thanks, Mark.
362
00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:45,106
Hey, guys I'll see you later.
I gotta go to work.
363
00:13:45,182 --> 00:13:46,023
- Right.
- All right.
364
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,901
See you.
365
00:13:48,978 --> 00:13:52,497
Boy, he is really
stuck on her.
366
00:13:52,574 --> 00:13:56,534
And the ball's in
your court now, Cupid.
367
00:13:56,611 --> 00:13:57,418
Oh, boy.
368
00:14:05,536 --> 00:14:08,254
So Mark, what's all this
stuff about Sam Quigley.
369
00:14:08,331 --> 00:14:10,089
He's a great guy, that's all.
370
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:10,965
Great guy.
371
00:14:11,042 --> 00:14:11,924
Come on.
372
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:13,050
No such thing.
373
00:14:13,127 --> 00:14:14,585
Oh, will you give me a break.
374
00:14:14,663 --> 00:14:17,146
You act like it's so tough
being a beautiful woman.
375
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,180
Well, it is tough.
376
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,765
It's brutal sometimes.
377
00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:21,133
You know what's tough?
378
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,143
I'll tell you what's
tough, working
379
00:14:22,219 --> 00:14:23,936
in a coal pit, that's tough.
380
00:14:24,013 --> 00:14:25,605
I mean, your life's
a bed of roses.
381
00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:27,231
All you got to do is
just smile a little bit.
382
00:14:27,308 --> 00:14:29,567
Do a little goochie,
goochie, say your lines,
383
00:14:29,644 --> 00:14:30,860
collect a million bucks.
384
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,879
God I wish I were in your shoes.
385
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,780
Well, God, I wish I was a man
for just long enough to show--
386
00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:36,666
[thunder crashing]
387
00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:38,959
What happened?
388
00:14:39,036 --> 00:14:40,119
Well, must have blown a fuse.
389
00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:42,955
Hey Jonathan, somebody
hit the break--
390
00:14:43,032 --> 00:14:44,340
MOVIE CREW: Somebody
hit the breakers.
391
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:48,419
OK boys, we're back on.
392
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:49,345
Let's go.
393
00:14:57,213 --> 00:15:02,058
(GROANING) Come on Jonathan,
let's get out of here.
394
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,860
I'm no good at this Cupid stuff.
395
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:07,864
Besides I can't
take any more that--
396
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,983
what's wrong with
my voi- my body.
397
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:13,486
This isn't my body.
398
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:14,621
Oh, my gosh.
399
00:15:14,697 --> 00:15:17,531
My body died.
400
00:15:17,608 --> 00:15:18,991
No, no it didn't.
401
00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:22,036
She just fainted.
402
00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:24,413
She?
403
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,340
She.
404
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,270
[music playing]
405
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:44,776
I can't believe it.
406
00:15:44,852 --> 00:15:47,603
I'm in her body
and she's in mine?
407
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,605
That's the way
it looks from here.
408
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:53,109
Oh Jonathan, how
could you do that?
409
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:54,068
Whoa.
410
00:15:54,145 --> 00:15:55,277
Hey, you all right, buddy?
411
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,779
I don't know, I felt
like I was walking
412
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,114
downhill for a minute there.
413
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,323
Oh, it must be the heels.
414
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,408
- What?
- Your heels.
415
00:16:00,484 --> 00:16:01,334
You got heels.
416
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:05,287
God.
417
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,372
Oh, my God.
418
00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:08,708
How do they walk
in these things?
419
00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:10,710
All right Jonathan, fun is fun.
420
00:16:10,786 --> 00:16:12,336
Put me back.
421
00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:13,295
Come on.
422
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:14,304
What are you waiting for?
423
00:16:14,382 --> 00:16:16,298
Put me back before she wakes up.
424
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:17,332
I can't do that.
425
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,801
What do you mean
you can't do that?
426
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,594
You put me in here,
now get me out.
427
00:16:20,671 --> 00:16:22,430
I didn't put you in there.
428
00:16:22,506 --> 00:16:23,639
You mean the boss?
429
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,849
Yeah.
430
00:16:24,925 --> 00:16:26,017
You didn't say, I
wish to Jonathan.
431
00:16:26,093 --> 00:16:28,477
You said, I wish to God.
432
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:31,647
Well don't just stand there,
tell him to do something.
433
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,482
Well, I think he already did.
434
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:34,826
Oh that's cute Jonathan.
435
00:16:34,902 --> 00:16:36,352
That's really cute.
436
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:44,118
(GROANING) Oh, my
goodness gracious.
437
00:16:44,195 --> 00:16:45,003
Oh.
438
00:16:48,532 --> 00:16:50,082
Oh.
439
00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:52,635
Oh.
440
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:53,627
Great.
441
00:16:53,704 --> 00:16:54,603
That's just great.
442
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,047
She's out again.
443
00:16:56,123 --> 00:16:57,532
I can't say I blame her.
444
00:16:57,608 --> 00:16:59,050
I'd probably faint too
if I looked in the mirror
445
00:16:59,126 --> 00:17:01,927
and saw you staring back at me.
446
00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:03,496
One more word, Jonathan.
447
00:17:03,573 --> 00:17:05,306
I'm telling you, one more
word and angel or no angel,
448
00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:06,182
it's five to the chops.
449
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:07,183
[knock on door]
450
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,142
I'll get it.
451
00:17:08,219 --> 00:17:10,019
What do you mean
you'll get it?
452
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:11,479
You can't let anyone in there
with me looking like this.
453
00:17:11,555 --> 00:17:13,564
Oh, come on Mark, you've only
been a woman for a few minutes
454
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,316
and you're already worried
about the way you look.
455
00:17:15,392 --> 00:17:17,735
You can't let anybody
see me like this.
456
00:17:17,812 --> 00:17:20,362
Why?
457
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:22,990
I've got bosoms.
458
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,533
- Everything OK in here?
- Yeah, sure.
459
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:25,901
Everything's fine.
460
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:26,619
Why shouldn't
everything be fine?
461
00:17:26,695 --> 00:17:27,770
I don't know?
462
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,538
I heard somebody scream.
463
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:30,831
Yeah, that was her.
464
00:17:30,908 --> 00:17:31,791
Who?
465
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,167
Her.
466
00:17:33,244 --> 00:17:35,419
Who her?
467
00:17:35,496 --> 00:17:37,046
Him her.
468
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,014
Mark Gordon saw a mouse.
469
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,265
That's all, just a little mouse.
470
00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:41,425
Oh, hairdressers.
471
00:17:41,502 --> 00:17:44,470
Listen you little twerp,
cut the hairdresser stuff.
472
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,721
I'm as much of a man as you are.
473
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:46,889
Yes, ma'am.
474
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,766
Whatever you say,
Miss Blackwell.
475
00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,643
Uh, they, uh, want you
on the set now, ma'am.
476
00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:52,853
Yeah well, tell them to hold
their water till I get there,
477
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,405
you know.
- Yes, ma'am.
478
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:06,575
Where's Linda?
479
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:07,493
She OK?
480
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:09,087
Uh, I don't know.
481
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:10,854
What do you
mean, I don't know?
482
00:18:10,932 --> 00:18:12,581
Well, I went over there
after I heard the scream
483
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,042
and she told me that her
hairdresser had seen a mouse,
484
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:18,045
and then she told me she was
just as big a man as I was
485
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:22,216
and for you to hold your water.
486
00:18:22,293 --> 00:18:24,969
Actresses.
487
00:18:25,045 --> 00:18:26,929
See Jonathan here
really is an angel,
488
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:30,266
and well, when you and I
wished to God that we could
489
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,017
trade places, well
he heard us and now
490
00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:33,894
I'm stuck with your body.
491
00:18:33,971 --> 00:18:36,147
You're stuck with mine.
492
00:18:36,223 --> 00:18:36,897
Right.
493
00:18:36,974 --> 00:18:39,024
Right.
494
00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:40,609
He's taking this a
lot better than I did.
495
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:41,944
Yeah.
496
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,687
Look, I wish I
could tell you how
497
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,614
long you have to be like this,
but it's just not up to me.
498
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:48,409
Right, I understand.
499
00:18:48,485 --> 00:18:50,086
You know I got
to hand it to you,
500
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:53,914
you really got a lot of
guts taking it this calm.
501
00:18:53,991 --> 00:18:55,541
Right.
502
00:18:55,618 --> 00:18:57,793
Ahhh.
503
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,795
What the hell is
going on in there?
504
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,013
Must be another mouse.
505
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:06,927
Now listen Miss Blackwell,
you gotta stop screaming.
506
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,062
You understand?
507
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:11,607
OK.
508
00:19:14,345 --> 00:19:15,311
Thank you.
509
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:17,855
Ahhh.
510
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:19,190
There it is again.
511
00:19:19,266 --> 00:19:21,159
What are they doing to
that poor guy in there?
512
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,113
Get your hand off my mouth.
513
00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:29,033
Get your hand off my
mouth this instant.
514
00:19:29,109 --> 00:19:32,286
You promise to be a good
girl and not scream anymore?
515
00:19:32,363 --> 00:19:33,162
Yes.
516
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,663
Yes.
517
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:35,590
OK.
518
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:41,304
All right.
519
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,279
All right.
520
00:19:42,356 --> 00:19:43,672
I want to see my lawyer.
521
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,217
I wanna see my lawyer right now.
522
00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:49,854
I'm going to sue the two of you.
523
00:19:49,931 --> 00:19:51,847
I'm going to sue him too.
524
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:55,109
I'm going to sue the church.
525
00:19:55,186 --> 00:19:56,769
Linda, what good
is it going to do?
526
00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:58,312
I mean, nobody's
going to believe you.
527
00:19:58,389 --> 00:19:59,939
For all the world
you're Mark Gordon.
528
00:20:00,015 --> 00:20:01,482
I want my body back.
529
00:20:01,558 --> 00:20:04,443
I've worked very hard
getting that body in shape.
530
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,527
I want my body back.
531
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:06,913
I want my body back.
532
00:20:06,989 --> 00:20:08,039
I want my body.
533
00:20:08,115 --> 00:20:09,073
I want my body.
534
00:20:09,149 --> 00:20:09,999
I want my body.
535
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,116
Linda, listen to me.
536
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,326
Listen to me.
537
00:20:12,403 --> 00:20:13,369
What?
538
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,204
He's doing this for a reason.
539
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,498
Well, he has a very
sick sense of humor.
540
00:20:17,574 --> 00:20:19,333
That's what Jonah said
when the whale swallowed him.
541
00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:22,544
I would rather be swallowed
by a whale than turned into one.
542
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:23,429
I'm going to kill her.
543
00:20:23,506 --> 00:20:24,380
She's a guy.
544
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:26,006
She can take it.
545
00:20:26,083 --> 00:20:26,966
Now, come on.
546
00:20:27,042 --> 00:20:28,133
Stop it and listen to me.
547
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:29,918
Now he's doing
this so each of you
548
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,145
will understand what it's like
to live like the other one.
549
00:20:31,222 --> 00:20:33,180
Now the sooner you
accept that and do it,
550
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,057
the sooner he's going to put
you back in your own bodies.
551
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,691
Now, stop it.
552
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:40,062
You mean that he has to go
out there and do my lines.
553
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:41,263
I'll be ruined.
554
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,165
Linda, that is
exactly what I mean.
555
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,483
You're going to have to keep
all of Mark's appointments,
556
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,702
and Mark's going to have
to keep all of yours.
557
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,445
- Piece of cake.
- What?
558
00:20:48,522 --> 00:20:49,372
You heard me.
559
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,656
Piece of cake.
560
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:51,657
[knock on door]
561
00:20:51,734 --> 00:20:53,334
Yeah, come in.
562
00:20:53,411 --> 00:20:56,453
I hate to bother you, but
Mr. Campbell wondered if--
563
00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:58,122
Yeah, if what?
564
00:20:58,198 --> 00:21:01,583
If, uh, you'd
like to rehearse.
565
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,752
We're ready.
566
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:06,046
You bet I'm ready.
567
00:21:06,123 --> 00:21:07,465
I'll be right there.
568
00:21:10,461 --> 00:21:12,678
You keep my
hands off of those.
569
00:21:12,755 --> 00:21:13,704
Shut up.
570
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:18,442
Piece of cake.
571
00:21:25,809 --> 00:21:26,775
Well hi, babe.
572
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,953
Glad you could make it.
573
00:21:29,030 --> 00:21:29,945
You talking to me?
574
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,905
You bet I am.
575
00:21:31,982 --> 00:21:33,657
Get your arm off of me.
576
00:21:33,734 --> 00:21:34,808
Come on, babe.
577
00:21:34,885 --> 00:21:36,476
You know you love it.
578
00:21:36,554 --> 00:21:37,703
Get your hand off of me or
I'll rip it out of the socket
579
00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:39,079
and beat your brains in with it.
580
00:21:39,156 --> 00:21:40,664
Got it.
581
00:21:40,741 --> 00:21:42,282
Ooo.
582
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:46,304
There's no, no on your lips,
but yes, yes, yes in your eyes.
583
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,595
Oh, no.
He's out cold.
584
00:21:54,671 --> 00:21:55,521
Get the doc down here.
585
00:21:55,598 --> 00:21:56,630
Linda, are you crazy?
586
00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:58,057
What did you do that for?
587
00:21:58,133 --> 00:21:59,208
Me?
588
00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:01,352
That bozo had his
hands all over me.
589
00:22:01,428 --> 00:22:02,394
Oh, big deal.
590
00:22:02,471 --> 00:22:03,812
We got a scene to shoot here.
591
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:05,089
What do you mean, big deal?
592
00:22:05,166 --> 00:22:06,357
I mean, so he had
his hands on you.
593
00:22:06,433 --> 00:22:07,316
He's a man.
594
00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:08,317
You're a woman.
595
00:22:08,394 --> 00:22:09,568
I'm not just a woman.
596
00:22:09,645 --> 00:22:10,703
I'm a man.
597
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:19,119
What I mean is, I'm a person,
and I got as much rights
598
00:22:19,196 --> 00:22:20,746
as a man.
599
00:22:20,823 --> 00:22:22,039
I got a right to be touched
when I want to be touched
600
00:22:22,116 --> 00:22:23,832
and by whom I want
to be touched.
601
00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:26,502
And nobody, but nobody, is
gonna tell me that I mean yes
602
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:29,213
when I say no just
because I got a pair
603
00:22:29,289 --> 00:22:31,715
of bosoms and they don't.
604
00:22:31,792 --> 00:22:33,726
I never knew how tough
it was for you gals.
605
00:22:41,227 --> 00:22:42,693
Call me when he comes to.
606
00:22:47,599 --> 00:22:49,900
Maybe it'll be worth it
just to see me do that.
607
00:22:49,977 --> 00:22:50,826
Bap.
608
00:22:57,901 --> 00:22:58,867
Yo.
609
00:22:58,711 --> 00:22:59,868
Hey, where's the can, you know?
610
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:00,744
The what?
611
00:23:00,821 --> 00:23:01,703
The can.
612
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:02,705
The toilet.
613
00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:04,289
Oh, excuse me, the restroom.
614
00:23:04,366 --> 00:23:05,290
Oh, yeah.
615
00:23:05,367 --> 00:23:06,425
Follow me.
616
00:23:09,329 --> 00:23:11,180
Must you walk like that?
617
00:23:11,257 --> 00:23:12,098
Like what?
618
00:23:12,174 --> 00:23:13,549
Like a gorilla.
619
00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:15,092
You need to take smaller steps.
620
00:23:15,169 --> 00:23:16,760
People are staring.
621
00:23:16,837 --> 00:23:18,429
Yeah, well maybe
they're staring at you.
622
00:23:18,505 --> 00:23:20,389
You don't look so hot mincing
around like that either.
623
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:21,723
All all right,
let's don't argue.
624
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,434
Now, we're going to be
like this for a while,
625
00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:24,768
so let's just make
the most of it.
626
00:23:24,845 --> 00:23:25,727
- Right.
- Ah.
627
00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:26,654
Here we are.
628
00:23:30,267 --> 00:23:33,327
[screams]
629
00:23:42,070 --> 00:23:42,995
I think I'll wait.
630
00:23:43,071 --> 00:23:43,921
Yes, me too.
631
00:23:55,426 --> 00:23:56,867
How's it going?
632
00:23:56,811 --> 00:23:58,610
Can I help you with something?
633
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,137
Oh no, I just wanted to
see how Mark was doing?
634
00:24:00,214 --> 00:24:01,129
Oh.
635
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:02,398
Mark?
636
00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:03,348
I mean, Miss Blackwell.
637
00:24:03,425 --> 00:24:04,600
Oh.
638
00:24:04,676 --> 00:24:05,726
Well, just between
the two of us,
639
00:24:05,802 --> 00:24:07,811
this must be one
of her off days.
640
00:24:07,888 --> 00:24:10,981
She's moving like
a truck driver.
641
00:24:11,058 --> 00:24:12,683
Come on.
Come on.
642
00:24:12,759 --> 00:24:13,817
They got pictures in
the loo that take less
643
00:24:13,894 --> 00:24:15,277
time to paint than my face.
644
00:24:15,354 --> 00:24:16,487
Miss Blackwell,
you're the one that
645
00:24:16,563 --> 00:24:18,322
wants the fuller lips, not me.
646
00:24:18,398 --> 00:24:20,148
Fuller?
647
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:22,993
They're full enough to blow up
the Goodyear blimp right now.
648
00:24:23,070 --> 00:24:25,829
Suit yourself.
649
00:24:25,906 --> 00:24:27,664
Let's rehearse again, Linda.
650
00:24:27,741 --> 00:24:28,415
Yeah.
651
00:24:28,492 --> 00:24:29,708
Yeah.
652
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:31,668
Look can't I play
the scene barefoot?
653
00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,505
Who walks through the
desert in high heels?
654
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:35,422
Movie stars.
655
00:24:35,499 --> 00:24:36,974
Now let's try it again.
656
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,646
See what I mean?
657
00:24:50,722 --> 00:24:52,189
You been hitting
the sauce, honey?
658
00:24:52,266 --> 00:24:54,233
Ah, shut up.
659
00:24:54,309 --> 00:24:56,452
Whoa.
660
00:24:56,529 --> 00:24:57,528
Linda.
Linda.
661
00:24:57,604 --> 00:24:59,238
You all right, honey?
662
00:24:59,314 --> 00:25:01,323
LINDA BLACKWELL: I told you
to keep your hands off of me.
663
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:02,366
[punching]
664
00:25:02,442 --> 00:25:03,909
TODD JEFFRIES: (GROANS)
- Cut.
665
00:25:03,986 --> 00:25:04,660
Cut.
666
00:25:04,736 --> 00:25:06,245
Brad, get the doctor.
667
00:25:06,321 --> 00:25:07,955
Yes, sir.
668
00:25:08,031 --> 00:25:09,289
Hey, you have
seen Mark have you?
669
00:25:09,366 --> 00:25:10,174
The hairdresser?
670
00:25:10,251 --> 00:25:11,208
Yeah, he took off.
671
00:25:11,285 --> 00:25:12,584
What do you mean he took off?
672
00:25:12,661 --> 00:25:14,253
Well, the guy's a little
flaky if you ask me.
673
00:25:14,329 --> 00:25:15,904
He said as long
as we already had
674
00:25:15,981 --> 00:25:17,422
one Linda Blackwell around he
was going to knock off early
675
00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:18,682
and do some shopping.
676
00:25:18,759 --> 00:25:19,725
Let me tell you, he
can get in real trouble
677
00:25:19,802 --> 00:25:21,009
with the boss for doing that.
678
00:25:21,086 --> 00:25:24,179
You're telling me.
679
00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:27,149
[music playing]
680
00:25:52,743 --> 00:25:54,251
May I help you?
681
00:25:54,328 --> 00:25:56,753
These are wonderful.
682
00:25:56,830 --> 00:25:57,987
When did you get these in?
683
00:25:57,765 --> 00:26:00,757
Oh, just yesterday.
684
00:26:00,834 --> 00:26:02,768
Oh, I love this.
685
00:26:08,175 --> 00:26:08,999
I don't know.
686
00:26:09,076 --> 00:26:11,268
I just don't think it's me.
687
00:26:11,345 --> 00:26:15,188
It's really difficult to tell
with this beard, you know.
688
00:26:15,265 --> 00:26:18,942
Oh, I suppose not.
689
00:26:19,019 --> 00:26:22,279
Perhaps if you shaved it off?
690
00:26:22,356 --> 00:26:25,749
I would but I'm afraid that
what's under it might be worse.
691
00:26:33,033 --> 00:26:34,883
Oh, boy.
692
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,435
Uh, Linda.
693
00:26:36,511 --> 00:26:37,628
Jonathan, what do you
think of this lipstick?
694
00:26:37,704 --> 00:26:39,129
Give me that will ya.
695
00:26:39,206 --> 00:26:40,739
What are you--
696
00:26:40,816 --> 00:26:42,716
You know, I think you better
start remembering who you are,
697
00:26:42,793 --> 00:26:44,134
or who you're supposed to be.
698
00:26:44,211 --> 00:26:45,886
Now what is that
supposed to mean?
699
00:26:45,962 --> 00:26:48,096
It means that the reason
the boss switched you two
700
00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:50,599
is so that each one of you could
learn how the other one lives.
701
00:26:50,676 --> 00:26:52,267
Jonathan listen,
it is bad enough
702
00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:54,478
that I have to walk
around with this moss
703
00:26:54,554 --> 00:26:55,704
growing all over my back.
704
00:26:55,781 --> 00:26:57,197
What else am I supposed to do?
705
00:26:57,274 --> 00:26:58,815
Well, until the boss
switches you back,
706
00:26:58,892 --> 00:27:00,901
you're supposed to be Mark
Gordon not just look like him.
707
00:27:00,977 --> 00:27:02,578
Now, that means
working at his job,
708
00:27:02,655 --> 00:27:04,321
socializing with his friends.
709
00:27:04,398 --> 00:27:06,490
Wait a minute, you mean I
have to associate with a bunch
710
00:27:06,566 --> 00:27:08,825
of beer-belching
over-the-hill jocks
711
00:27:08,902 --> 00:27:10,827
whose only interest
in life is making
712
00:27:10,904 --> 00:27:12,245
snide remarks about women.
713
00:27:12,322 --> 00:27:13,130
Oh, please.
714
00:27:13,207 --> 00:27:14,514
Come on, now.
715
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:15,733
You're being snide
about his friends.
716
00:27:15,809 --> 00:27:17,501
Now don't judge people
until you know them.
717
00:27:17,577 --> 00:27:19,135
Now, let's get out of here.
718
00:27:19,213 --> 00:27:20,671
I'm going to buy some
shoes while I'm here.
719
00:27:20,747 --> 00:27:21,880
I don't think
they're going to have
720
00:27:21,891 --> 00:27:23,382
what you're looking for in 12D.
721
00:27:23,458 --> 00:27:26,301
Oh, of course you're right.
722
00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:27,260
Goodbye.
723
00:27:27,337 --> 00:27:28,312
I'll be back.
724
00:27:28,389 --> 00:27:29,313
Stop doing that
with your hand.
725
00:27:36,430 --> 00:27:38,271
What do you
think you're doing?
726
00:27:38,348 --> 00:27:39,481
Hey, what the--
727
00:27:39,558 --> 00:27:40,616
I'm having a little snack.
728
00:27:40,693 --> 00:27:42,367
A snack.
729
00:27:42,444 --> 00:27:45,320
I have seen lighter meals
at feeding time at the zoo.
730
00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:46,488
But I--
731
00:27:46,565 --> 00:27:48,699
You are not putting
this in my body.
732
00:27:48,775 --> 00:27:50,158
I'm hungry.
733
00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:51,076
Jonathan.
734
00:27:51,153 --> 00:27:52,035
No.
735
00:27:52,112 --> 00:27:53,212
Absolutely not.
736
00:27:53,288 --> 00:27:57,582
If you need to pick
me up, you drink this.
737
00:27:57,659 --> 00:27:59,209
What is this?
738
00:27:59,286 --> 00:28:00,761
Hot lemon juice.
739
00:28:00,838 --> 00:28:02,587
What about my pizza?
740
00:28:02,664 --> 00:28:04,423
No, no, no, no, no, no.
741
00:28:04,499 --> 00:28:05,716
Not your pizza.
742
00:28:05,726 --> 00:28:07,685
Mark Gordon's pizza.
743
00:28:07,761 --> 00:28:10,137
Linda Blackwell is on a diet.
744
00:28:10,213 --> 00:28:15,392
Just part of the price
that we women have to pay.
745
00:28:15,403 --> 00:28:21,231
You know, it is really a shame
to let this pizza go to waste.
746
00:28:21,308 --> 00:28:25,152
Oh, pizza, baby it
has been so long.
747
00:28:25,228 --> 00:28:27,612
Come to mama.
748
00:28:27,689 --> 00:28:29,540
Mmm.
749
00:28:29,616 --> 00:28:31,450
So good.
750
00:28:31,526 --> 00:28:32,434
Yummy, yummy.
751
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:33,919
Mmm, mmm. mmm.
752
00:28:41,728 --> 00:28:44,012
[music playing]
753
00:28:55,025 --> 00:28:57,267
See you on the
set tomorrow, Linda.
754
00:28:57,344 --> 00:28:58,977
Goodnight, sweetheart.
755
00:28:59,054 --> 00:28:59,903
Goodnight, darling.
756
00:29:04,267 --> 00:29:05,233
You.
757
00:29:05,310 --> 00:29:06,902
Where do you think you're going?
758
00:29:06,978 --> 00:29:08,069
That's my car.
759
00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:09,312
Wrong.
760
00:29:09,389 --> 00:29:10,572
That's Linda Blackwell's car.
761
00:29:10,649 --> 00:29:13,241
Home, Miss Blackwell?
762
00:29:13,318 --> 00:29:14,676
Home, my foot.
763
00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:16,995
Take me to the
nearest burger joint.
764
00:29:17,072 --> 00:29:20,373
You, she, this is
not fair, Jonathan.
765
00:29:20,450 --> 00:29:21,458
This is not fair.
766
00:29:21,535 --> 00:29:22,501
Oh, come on.
767
00:29:22,577 --> 00:29:24,086
It's probably all for the best.
768
00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:25,420
Sam would have thought it
was kind of funny if you
769
00:29:25,497 --> 00:29:26,922
drove up in a limo anyway.
770
00:29:26,998 --> 00:29:28,256
Sam who?
771
00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:29,391
Sam Quigley.
772
00:29:29,468 --> 00:29:30,592
Supposed to meet him tonight.
773
00:29:30,669 --> 00:29:31,593
Shoot a few racks of pool.
774
00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:32,677
Talk about old times.
775
00:29:32,754 --> 00:29:34,262
Oh, that sounds
like an evening
776
00:29:34,339 --> 00:29:35,931
full of charm and glamour.
777
00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,441
Oh come on Linda,
don't tell me
778
00:29:37,518 --> 00:29:39,184
you never wondered what
the boys we're talking
779
00:29:39,261 --> 00:29:40,185
about in the locker room.
780
00:29:40,262 --> 00:29:41,353
Now's your chance.
781
00:29:41,429 --> 00:29:42,913
Marvelous.
782
00:29:42,989 --> 00:29:45,449
I can spend the entire evening
discussing sweat socks.
783
00:29:45,526 --> 00:29:48,193
Honestly.
784
00:29:48,270 --> 00:29:50,612
I wish you wouldn't
do that with your hand.
785
00:29:50,689 --> 00:29:53,791
[music playing]
786
00:30:06,329 --> 00:30:08,255
What would you like me
to get you, Miss Blackwell?
787
00:30:08,331 --> 00:30:09,548
Oh, relax, I can get it.
788
00:30:09,624 --> 00:30:11,633
But, Miss Blackwell,
this is a public place.
789
00:30:11,710 --> 00:30:13,010
No kidding.
790
00:30:13,086 --> 00:30:14,561
I didn't think it
was a private club.
791
00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:18,473
What are you doing?
792
00:30:18,550 --> 00:30:20,976
Guarding you.
793
00:30:21,052 --> 00:30:22,143
Guarding me?
794
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:23,728
Hey, pal, I'm a big boy.
795
00:30:23,805 --> 00:30:25,047
I can take care of myself.
796
00:30:25,123 --> 00:30:26,398
Why don't you just
relax in the car, OK.
797
00:30:26,474 --> 00:30:27,658
I'll get us a couple of burgers.
798
00:30:49,497 --> 00:30:50,630
All right.
799
00:30:50,707 --> 00:30:52,341
Let me read this back to you.
800
00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:57,721
That's four cheeseburgers,
four fries, two apple pies, two
801
00:30:57,797 --> 00:30:59,764
onion rings, and three tacos.
802
00:30:59,841 --> 00:31:01,149
Yeah and a shake.
803
00:31:01,226 --> 00:31:04,311
Vanilla, and you better
give me a strawberry too.
804
00:31:04,387 --> 00:31:05,520
All right.
805
00:31:05,597 --> 00:31:07,856
That's just be a minute.
806
00:31:07,933 --> 00:31:10,191
I still don't believe
that was Lucille Ball.
807
00:31:10,268 --> 00:31:11,776
Jake it was her.
808
00:31:11,787 --> 00:31:13,695
But she's so friendly on TV.
809
00:31:13,772 --> 00:31:16,197
I looked in the window,
she closed the blinds.
810
00:31:16,274 --> 00:31:17,157
Nice, shmice.
811
00:31:17,233 --> 00:31:18,408
It was Lucy.
812
00:31:18,419 --> 00:31:19,784
Well, I better
get a closer look
813
00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:22,412
at a biggie before this day--
814
00:31:22,489 --> 00:31:25,591
Linda, Linda Blackwell.
815
00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:34,716
Come on.
Come on.
816
00:31:34,727 --> 00:31:35,893
Let's get out of here.
817
00:32:00,485 --> 00:32:04,913
Oh, Sam, that is the
funniest story I've ever heard.
818
00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:08,166
And these ribs are fantastic.
819
00:32:08,243 --> 00:32:12,087
You know Sam, I have to admit
I cannot recall when I have
820
00:32:12,097 --> 00:32:15,256
had a nicer evening with a man.
821
00:32:15,333 --> 00:32:18,218
Been fun seeing you
again too, but I, uh,
822
00:32:18,294 --> 00:32:20,011
you know I must say,
you know, you've
823
00:32:20,088 --> 00:32:22,430
changed over the last 15 years.
824
00:32:22,507 --> 00:32:24,274
Last 15 hours is more like it.
825
00:32:27,220 --> 00:32:28,937
Know what I wish?
826
00:32:29,014 --> 00:32:32,315
I wish I could go out
with Linda like this.
827
00:32:32,392 --> 00:32:33,341
Linda who?
828
00:32:33,418 --> 00:32:34,192
Linda who.
829
00:32:34,269 --> 00:32:35,843
Linda Blackwell.
830
00:32:35,921 --> 00:32:37,779
Weren't you listening
in the commissary, huh?
831
00:32:37,856 --> 00:32:40,281
You were gonna see if I
had a prayer, you know.
832
00:32:40,358 --> 00:32:42,325
Yeah, fat chance of
that though, huh?
833
00:32:42,402 --> 00:32:43,618
Yeah.
834
00:32:43,695 --> 00:32:44,569
I don't know.
835
00:32:44,646 --> 00:32:46,287
She might like it.
836
00:32:46,364 --> 00:32:47,247
What makes you say that?
837
00:32:47,323 --> 00:32:48,131
Did you ask her?
838
00:32:48,208 --> 00:32:48,840
No, no.
839
00:32:48,917 --> 00:32:50,450
It's just a feeling.
840
00:32:50,527 --> 00:32:53,461
Oh well, I don't think
you're right on this one.
841
00:32:53,538 --> 00:32:54,888
She's a movie star.
842
00:32:54,965 --> 00:32:56,198
Maybe your right.
843
00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:58,341
She's probably just
stuck on herself.
844
00:32:58,418 --> 00:32:59,968
No, I don't think so.
845
00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:01,720
You know, it's probably
just because she's afraid.
846
00:33:01,796 --> 00:33:03,138
People keep asking
things of her,
847
00:33:03,214 --> 00:33:05,932
like an autograph, a
introduction, maybe
848
00:33:06,009 --> 00:33:08,685
a little hit-and-run
romance, you know.
849
00:33:08,762 --> 00:33:11,021
Isn't that what you want too?
850
00:33:11,097 --> 00:33:12,455
Me?
851
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:13,982
Hey, I thought you knew me
better than that, buddy.
852
00:33:14,059 --> 00:33:15,608
I just told you how
I felt about her.
853
00:33:15,685 --> 00:33:18,361
Oh, come on Sam, fess up.
854
00:33:18,438 --> 00:33:20,697
I mean, that would be something
to brag about to your friends,
855
00:33:20,774 --> 00:33:22,123
right.
856
00:33:22,201 --> 00:33:24,075
Having a little fling
with a movie star.
857
00:33:24,152 --> 00:33:26,161
You really don't
know me do you buddy?
858
00:33:26,171 --> 00:33:29,205
All I'd want is a chance
to make her happy.
859
00:33:29,282 --> 00:33:32,500
It's not as easy you think
being, being in the public eye.
860
00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:33,668
You know what I bet?
861
00:33:33,745 --> 00:33:35,420
I bet she'd just
like to let her hair
862
00:33:35,497 --> 00:33:38,173
down, have some fun with a guy
who really cares, you know.
863
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:41,009
You know, I read somewhere
where she likes camellias
864
00:33:41,086 --> 00:33:42,936
so I sent her some once.
865
00:33:43,013 --> 00:33:44,912
I didn't put my
name on it and she,
866
00:33:44,990 --> 00:33:50,185
well I saw her with them later
and she, she looked so happy.
867
00:33:50,195 --> 00:33:51,519
That was you?
868
00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:53,655
Huh?
869
00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:57,776
Sam, I must tell you that
until tonight I never realized
870
00:33:57,852 --> 00:33:59,861
what a wonderful man you are.
871
00:33:59,938 --> 00:34:01,613
Huh, what?
872
00:34:01,690 --> 00:34:03,915
I understand this is,
is very difficult for you
873
00:34:03,992 --> 00:34:07,535
to understand, but
it is so frustrating
874
00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:09,370
to be a man right now.
875
00:34:09,447 --> 00:34:11,039
I don't know what you're
talking about, Gord-o.
876
00:34:11,116 --> 00:34:12,499
Well of course
you don't, silly.
877
00:34:12,575 --> 00:34:14,175
How could you?
878
00:34:14,253 --> 00:34:17,045
Well, I don't know how I
could, but just forget I asked.
879
00:34:17,122 --> 00:34:19,672
Sam, Sam, Sam I
want you to know.
880
00:34:19,749 --> 00:34:21,099
I want you to know
because tonight
881
00:34:21,176 --> 00:34:24,010
has been so special for me.
882
00:34:24,087 --> 00:34:25,720
I don't think I
want to know, Gord-o.
883
00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:31,184
Sam, I'm not who
you think I am.
884
00:34:31,261 --> 00:34:34,187
Hey Mark, look,
that is your business.
885
00:34:34,264 --> 00:34:39,692
So Sam, Sam tell Linda
how you feel about her.
886
00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:41,069
Trust me.
887
00:34:41,146 --> 00:34:44,155
I'm not telling you
this is Mark Gordon.
888
00:34:44,232 --> 00:34:46,449
I'm telling you this as a woman.
889
00:34:46,526 --> 00:34:47,367
Ahh.
890
00:34:47,443 --> 00:34:49,119
Oh, Sam.
891
00:34:49,129 --> 00:34:50,504
Sam.
892
00:34:50,580 --> 00:34:51,788
Sam.
893
00:34:51,865 --> 00:34:52,822
Oh, dear.
894
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,249
Sam, Sam are you all right?
895
00:34:54,325 --> 00:34:55,708
Just take your hands off me.
896
00:34:55,785 --> 00:34:56,835
What?
897
00:34:56,911 --> 00:34:58,878
Just take your
hands off me, OK.
898
00:34:58,955 --> 00:35:00,088
What are you talking about?
899
00:35:00,165 --> 00:35:01,664
Look, you're my pal.
900
00:35:01,742 --> 00:35:03,424
I'm not gonna tell anybody
about our little conversation.
901
00:35:03,501 --> 00:35:05,302
It's just going to be
our secret, all right.
902
00:35:05,378 --> 00:35:07,637
Sam, just promise me that
you won't let your pride
903
00:35:07,714 --> 00:35:08,972
stand in the way
and that you'll tell
904
00:35:09,048 --> 00:35:10,473
Linda how you feel about her.
905
00:35:10,550 --> 00:35:11,724
OK, I promise.
906
00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:12,684
You mean that?
907
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,060
Of course I mean it.
908
00:35:14,137 --> 00:35:15,270
I'm going to tell her right now.
- Now.
909
00:35:15,346 --> 00:35:16,279
Yeah, now.
910
00:35:16,356 --> 00:35:18,231
No, I don't want
you to tell her now.
911
00:35:18,308 --> 00:35:19,524
I want you to stay here with me.
912
00:35:19,601 --> 00:35:20,933
Hey, ho, ho.
913
00:35:21,010 --> 00:35:22,035
Let's not get a little
pushy, you know.
914
00:35:22,112 --> 00:35:26,364
Now, it's your life but
live and let live, OK.
915
00:35:26,441 --> 00:35:27,282
See ya.
916
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:29,284
Sam.
917
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,295
Oh, Sam.
918
00:35:32,372 --> 00:35:34,455
Linda, you've got to
get hold of yourself.
919
00:35:34,532 --> 00:35:37,667
All right, splash a little
cold water on your face
920
00:35:37,744 --> 00:35:38,969
and pull yourself together.
921
00:35:47,712 --> 00:35:50,188
[screams]
922
00:35:55,553 --> 00:35:57,445
Stay out, you pervert.
923
00:36:03,519 --> 00:36:04,578
Jonathan.
924
00:36:11,653 --> 00:36:14,713
[music playing]
925
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,341
Ah, come on.
926
00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:29,344
Come on.
927
00:36:29,420 --> 00:36:30,494
What are you doing, huh?
928
00:36:30,572 --> 00:36:31,229
You're kidding yourself.
929
00:36:33,341 --> 00:36:34,474
Do it.
930
00:36:34,550 --> 00:36:36,359
[doorbell]
931
00:36:38,096 --> 00:36:40,363
Coming, coming.
932
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:41,489
Keep your pants on.
933
00:36:44,602 --> 00:36:45,652
Uh, Miss Blackwell--
934
00:36:45,728 --> 00:36:46,945
Sam, old buddy.
935
00:36:47,021 --> 00:36:49,739
Man am I glad to see you.
936
00:36:49,816 --> 00:36:51,032
You are?
937
00:36:51,109 --> 00:36:52,450
Yeah, I've been going
crazy in this joint.
938
00:36:52,527 --> 00:36:54,244
You know, I mean, at first
I thought it'd be fun
939
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,329
but she doesn't have a thing to
eat here but watercress and hot
940
00:36:56,406 --> 00:36:57,288
lemon juice.
941
00:36:57,365 --> 00:36:57,997
She?
942
00:36:58,074 --> 00:36:59,374
Yeah, her.
943
00:36:59,450 --> 00:37:00,333
Me.
944
00:37:00,410 --> 00:37:01,860
Forget it.
945
00:37:01,936 --> 00:37:03,461
Hey, what do you say we go
shoot a couple racks of pool
946
00:37:03,538 --> 00:37:05,088
and grab some ribs.
947
00:37:05,164 --> 00:37:06,506
Well, you, you'd
like to do that?
948
00:37:06,582 --> 00:37:09,217
Yeah, sure I'd love to.
949
00:37:09,294 --> 00:37:11,010
I've been bored stiff
just sitting around here.
950
00:37:11,087 --> 00:37:12,845
We can talk about old times.
951
00:37:12,922 --> 00:37:14,898
What, what old times?
952
00:37:14,975 --> 00:37:15,999
New times.
953
00:37:16,076 --> 00:37:17,425
We can talk about new times.
954
00:37:17,502 --> 00:37:19,769
Man, I can't believe how
easy it is talking to you.
955
00:37:19,846 --> 00:37:20,945
I mean, you don't know.
956
00:37:21,022 --> 00:37:22,313
I was, I was so nervous before.
957
00:37:22,324 --> 00:37:24,156
I mean--
958
00:37:24,234 --> 00:37:25,692
Hey, what's to be nervous, I
mean, we both put on our pants
959
00:37:25,768 --> 00:37:27,327
one leg at a time, you know.
960
00:37:27,404 --> 00:37:28,987
Huh?
961
00:37:29,063 --> 00:37:30,530
Right.
962
00:37:30,606 --> 00:37:31,990
Yeah.
963
00:37:32,067 --> 00:37:33,074
Hey why don't you
sit down and relax.
964
00:37:33,151 --> 00:37:34,534
Let me see if I
can't put something
965
00:37:34,610 --> 00:37:37,704
on that's more comfortable and
then we'll have some fun, huh.
966
00:37:37,780 --> 00:37:39,831
Huh.
967
00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:41,291
Yeah, sure.
Right.
968
00:37:41,367 --> 00:37:42,000
Woo hoo.
969
00:37:42,076 --> 00:37:45,720
I can't believe it.
970
00:37:45,797 --> 00:37:48,798
What a great girl.
971
00:37:48,875 --> 00:37:50,684
A little wacky, but great.
972
00:38:06,642 --> 00:38:08,443
This has been,
without a doubt,
973
00:38:08,519 --> 00:38:11,362
the single most
embarrassing humiliating
974
00:38:11,439 --> 00:38:13,197
night of my entire life.
975
00:38:13,208 --> 00:38:14,582
Linda will you calm down?
976
00:38:14,659 --> 00:38:15,517
Calm down.
977
00:38:15,593 --> 00:38:16,701
That's easy for you to say.
978
00:38:16,712 --> 00:38:17,860
Oh, no.
979
00:38:17,938 --> 00:38:19,495
I know I'm going to
have a black eye.
980
00:38:19,572 --> 00:38:21,038
I know it.
981
00:38:21,116 --> 00:38:22,790
Thank goodness this
is not my face.
982
00:38:22,867 --> 00:38:24,917
Linda, all I can tell
you is that everything
983
00:38:24,994 --> 00:38:26,210
is just part of a plan.
984
00:38:26,287 --> 00:38:29,213
Well, the plan stinks.
985
00:38:29,290 --> 00:38:31,641
I finally meet a man
that I could care about
986
00:38:31,718 --> 00:38:34,052
and he thinks I'm
a raving lunatic.
987
00:38:34,128 --> 00:38:35,570
Oh now, wait a minute.
988
00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:36,429
He doesn't think you're
a raving lunatic.
989
00:38:36,506 --> 00:38:37,847
He thinks Mark is.
990
00:38:37,924 --> 00:38:39,265
I have been humiliated.
991
00:38:39,342 --> 00:38:42,485
I have been assaulted by
some hairy baboon, punched
992
00:38:42,562 --> 00:38:45,396
in the eye, tossed out on
the street on my keister,
993
00:38:45,473 --> 00:38:48,107
and now the man that I
think I'm in love with
994
00:38:48,184 --> 00:38:50,318
is on his way to
pour out his heart
995
00:38:50,395 --> 00:38:53,237
to Mark Gordon, who
by now has probably
996
00:38:53,248 --> 00:38:57,533
caused me to gain 15 pounds.
997
00:38:57,544 --> 00:39:00,036
Now look, why don't
you just take it easy,
998
00:39:00,113 --> 00:39:02,997
you get undressed,
you get some sleep
999
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:06,292
everything's going to look a lot
better to you in the morning.
1000
00:39:06,369 --> 00:39:08,044
Undress.
1001
00:39:08,121 --> 00:39:10,029
And you call yourself an angel.
1002
00:39:10,106 --> 00:39:14,133
Oh come on now, put on some
pajamas and get some sleep.
1003
00:39:14,210 --> 00:39:16,010
Turn around.
1004
00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:17,261
Why?
1005
00:39:17,338 --> 00:39:18,596
Why?
1006
00:39:18,673 --> 00:39:21,307
Because I'm going to
undress, that's why.
1007
00:39:21,384 --> 00:39:23,142
Oh come on, Linda.
1008
00:39:23,219 --> 00:39:24,510
I mean, first of
all, I'm an angel.
1009
00:39:24,587 --> 00:39:26,946
Secondly, right
now you're a guy.
1010
00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:31,567
Why do you keep
bringing that up?
1011
00:39:31,578 --> 00:39:33,486
I'll change in the powder room.
1012
00:39:33,563 --> 00:39:34,412
Oh.
1013
00:39:38,910 --> 00:39:40,034
Oh.
1014
00:39:42,572 --> 00:39:44,914
Were you the last
one to use this?
1015
00:39:44,991 --> 00:39:46,382
No angels don't have to.
1016
00:39:46,459 --> 00:39:48,042
Well, the next time you
see Mr. Gordon would you
1017
00:39:48,119 --> 00:39:52,171
mind telling him that when he's
finished to put the seat down?
1018
00:39:52,248 --> 00:39:53,473
Men.
1019
00:39:53,550 --> 00:39:56,134
Well, this is as
comfortable as I could find.
1020
00:39:56,210 --> 00:39:57,810
Boy, do I feel better.
1021
00:39:57,887 --> 00:40:00,847
It's hard to believe what
women go through to look good.
1022
00:40:00,923 --> 00:40:02,306
I think you look great.
1023
00:40:02,383 --> 00:40:04,008
You know, I got to
be honest with you,
1024
00:40:04,085 --> 00:40:06,436
I was always was afraid to,
to approach you, you know.
1025
00:40:06,512 --> 00:40:08,938
Kind of like, like
you were queen.
1026
00:40:08,949 --> 00:40:09,856
I know I was wrong.
1027
00:40:09,932 --> 00:40:11,441
I misjudged you.
1028
00:40:11,517 --> 00:40:12,942
I mean, you're the, you're one
of the most down-to-earth women
1029
00:40:13,019 --> 00:40:13,985
I've ever met.
1030
00:40:14,061 --> 00:40:15,178
Thanks.
1031
00:40:15,255 --> 00:40:16,195
Come on, let's go
get those beers.
1032
00:40:16,272 --> 00:40:18,239
Wait.
1033
00:40:18,316 --> 00:40:19,323
Wait.
1034
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:20,700
Oh, what wait.
1035
00:40:20,776 --> 00:40:23,035
I have waited so long
to be with you like this.
1036
00:40:23,112 --> 00:40:24,871
- What do you mean like this?
- You know what I mean.
1037
00:40:24,947 --> 00:40:26,497
Look, I gotta tell you
how I feel about you,
1038
00:40:26,574 --> 00:40:27,707
even if you laugh in my face.
1039
00:40:27,783 --> 00:40:28,416
Oh no.
1040
00:40:28,493 --> 00:40:29,909
No, no, no.
1041
00:40:29,986 --> 00:40:31,510
I'm not laughing see, but
this isn't the right time
1042
00:40:31,588 --> 00:40:32,946
and I'm nothing like
what you think I'm like.
1043
00:40:33,022 --> 00:40:34,672
I think is the most
wonderful woman in the world.
1044
00:40:34,749 --> 00:40:35,923
Yeah, well see, see.
Right there.
1045
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,467
See, that's a mistake
right there, see.
1046
00:40:37,543 --> 00:40:38,885
- I love you.
- No, you don't.
1047
00:40:38,961 --> 00:40:39,844
Yes, I do.
1048
00:40:39,921 --> 00:40:40,854
No, you don't.
1049
00:40:44,175 --> 00:40:45,057
Linda, I'm sorry.
1050
00:40:45,134 --> 00:40:46,392
Just let me up, please.
1051
00:40:46,469 --> 00:40:47,935
Not until you let me explain.
1052
00:40:48,012 --> 00:40:49,295
You don't have to explain.
1053
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:50,980
I just made a complete
fool out of myself.
1054
00:40:51,057 --> 00:40:52,857
You don't understand, Sam.
1055
00:40:52,868 --> 00:40:53,983
Yeah, I do understand.
1056
00:40:53,994 --> 00:40:56,194
Linda, you're hurting my neck.
1057
00:40:56,270 --> 00:40:57,996
Sam, listen.
1058
00:40:58,072 --> 00:40:59,572
Listen.
It's OK.
1059
00:40:59,649 --> 00:41:00,531
What an idiot I was.
1060
00:41:00,542 --> 00:41:02,074
No, you weren't.
1061
00:41:02,151 --> 00:41:03,409
You weren't an idiot.
1062
00:41:03,486 --> 00:41:05,495
Listen, your timing is
just off, that's all.
1063
00:41:05,505 --> 00:41:06,704
You think you love
me but you don't.
1064
00:41:06,781 --> 00:41:08,756
The one you really love is Mark.
1065
00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:09,749
What?
1066
00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:10,958
Mark.
1067
00:41:11,035 --> 00:41:12,510
Look, I know it sounds
confusing and it is.
1068
00:41:12,587 --> 00:41:16,014
Oh God, I wish I'd never
asked to be in her shoes.
1069
00:41:16,090 --> 00:41:18,933
[thunder crashing]
1070
00:41:20,795 --> 00:41:25,765
Jonathan, what if he
chooses to leave us like this?
1071
00:41:25,841 --> 00:41:27,266
I don't think I can take it.
1072
00:41:27,343 --> 00:41:30,019
I just, I think I'm having
a nervous breakdown.
1073
00:41:30,030 --> 00:41:32,563
God, I am sorry I ever
asked to be a man.
1074
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,032
[thunder crashing]
1075
00:41:34,108 --> 00:41:34,982
What is that?
1076
00:41:35,059 --> 00:41:36,234
Why is that doing that?
1077
00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:40,413
Jonathan, Jonathan
what, what is this?
1078
00:41:40,490 --> 00:41:42,907
Oh, it is the blackout.
1079
00:41:42,984 --> 00:41:43,908
Jonathan.
1080
00:41:43,919 --> 00:41:45,868
[thunder crashing]
1081
00:41:45,945 --> 00:41:48,796
[screaming]
1082
00:41:56,056 --> 00:41:56,963
Mark?
1083
00:41:57,039 --> 00:41:58,130
I'm back.
1084
00:41:58,207 --> 00:41:59,140
The boss put me back.
1085
00:42:08,634 --> 00:42:11,069
[thunder crashing]
1086
00:42:11,145 --> 00:42:13,655
[screaming]
1087
00:42:19,020 --> 00:42:19,860
Linda.
1088
00:42:19,937 --> 00:42:21,428
Oh, Sam.
1089
00:42:21,506 --> 00:42:24,282
Li-, Linda, I can't tell
you how sorry I am about--
1090
00:42:24,358 --> 00:42:25,792
I got my body back.
1091
00:42:28,788 --> 00:42:31,163
OK, I promise you
one thing, you'll
1092
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:32,498
never be bothered by me again.
1093
00:42:32,575 --> 00:42:33,833
Where are you going?
1094
00:42:33,909 --> 00:42:35,126
Going back to where I belong.
1095
00:42:35,202 --> 00:42:36,002
No, please.
1096
00:42:36,078 --> 00:42:37,545
Oh, Sam don't go.
1097
00:42:37,622 --> 00:42:40,673
Look, uh, I know I acted
rather oddly tonight
1098
00:42:40,750 --> 00:42:42,842
but I really wasn't myself.
1099
00:42:42,918 --> 00:42:44,051
But I am now.
1100
00:42:46,714 --> 00:42:50,099
I really don't want you to go.
1101
00:42:50,110 --> 00:42:52,518
You mean that?
1102
00:42:52,595 --> 00:42:54,186
Yes, I do.
1103
00:42:54,263 --> 00:42:56,939
More than you know.
1104
00:42:57,016 --> 00:42:58,858
I love you.
1105
00:42:58,934 --> 00:43:02,486
Oh, don't say that unless
you mean it because I
1106
00:43:02,563 --> 00:43:04,530
love you too much for that.
1107
00:43:04,607 --> 00:43:14,582
So do I.
1108
00:43:14,659 --> 00:43:21,714
So do I.
1109
00:43:21,791 --> 00:43:23,799
LINDA BLACKWELL: Wait,
I forgot the bouquet.
1110
00:43:23,876 --> 00:43:26,185
OK girls, back here by the door.
1111
00:43:29,590 --> 00:43:31,557
Well buddy, your
dream came true.
1112
00:43:31,634 --> 00:43:33,643
It sure did.
1113
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:34,852
Thanks for helping.
1114
00:43:34,929 --> 00:43:37,813
Hey, what are
friends for, huh?
1115
00:43:37,890 --> 00:43:41,025
Yeah, Mark, I'm
a married man now.
1116
00:43:41,102 --> 00:43:42,910
Come on Sam, you
don't understand.
1117
00:43:42,987 --> 00:43:44,128
I know.
1118
00:43:44,205 --> 00:43:45,913
I know but we can
still be friends.
1119
00:43:48,025 --> 00:43:48,875
Thanks.
1120
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:58,417
I don't know how to thank you.
1121
00:43:58,494 --> 00:44:00,178
Hey, I didn't do anything.
1122
00:44:00,254 --> 00:44:02,338
Well, maybe you can
thank the boss for me.
1123
00:44:02,415 --> 00:44:03,555
Why don't you
do that yourself.
1124
00:44:03,633 --> 00:44:05,174
His number is not unlisted.
1125
00:44:05,251 --> 00:44:08,094
I will.
1126
00:44:08,170 --> 00:44:10,763
All right, here we go.
1127
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:17,061
Uh, hey well, good luck.
1128
00:44:17,138 --> 00:44:19,230
I don't know how you
live with this fur.
1129
00:44:19,306 --> 00:44:22,090
I don't know how you
live with those heels.
1130
00:44:25,604 --> 00:44:26,570
Good luck.
1131
00:44:26,647 --> 00:44:27,664
See you.
1132
00:44:56,385 --> 00:44:59,019
I guess you learned a little
something from all this, huh.
1133
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:01,355
You bet I did.
1134
00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:03,649
You know people
have got a tough.
1135
00:45:03,660 --> 00:45:05,109
I don't mean just men.
1136
00:45:05,186 --> 00:45:06,119
I don't mean just women.
1137
00:45:06,195 --> 00:45:07,620
I mean people.
1138
00:45:07,697 --> 00:45:09,196
Well, I don't know about that.
1139
00:45:09,273 --> 00:45:11,115
What do you mean you
don't know about that?
1140
00:45:11,126 --> 00:45:13,743
Look how complicated
their relationships are.
1141
00:45:13,819 --> 00:45:17,121
Everybody's got all
these fears and hangups.
1142
00:45:17,198 --> 00:45:22,501
Hey, Jonathan, look at that
bull out in the pasture.
1143
00:45:22,512 --> 00:45:24,253
Now you think he's
got any hangups?
1144
00:45:24,330 --> 00:45:26,756
You think he worries
about being too macho
1145
00:45:26,766 --> 00:45:29,175
or about success or money.
1146
00:45:29,251 --> 00:45:31,260
No sirree, Bob.
1147
00:45:31,337 --> 00:45:32,428
He has got it made.
1148
00:45:32,505 --> 00:45:35,181
I mean, all the
grass he can eat.
1149
00:45:35,191 --> 00:45:37,650
Let me tell you, that's
what I call living.
1150
00:45:37,727 --> 00:45:39,435
[thunder crashing]
1151
00:45:39,512 --> 00:45:40,352
Oh, no.
1152
00:45:40,429 --> 00:45:41,353
Wait a minute.
1153
00:45:41,430 --> 00:45:43,022
That, that's not what I meant.
1154
00:45:43,098 --> 00:45:44,031
Jonathan.
1155
00:45:44,108 --> 00:45:45,566
Jonathan do something, will ya.
1156
00:45:45,643 --> 00:45:49,653
[mooo] Jonathan.
1157
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:52,531
Jonathan, wait.
1158
00:45:52,608 --> 00:45:53,991
Jonathan, wait.
1159
00:45:54,068 --> 00:45:55,117
My car.
1160
00:45:55,194 --> 00:45:56,660
Jonathan, don't let
him wreck my car.
1161
00:45:56,737 --> 00:45:58,713
[music playing]
1162
00:46:10,793 --> 00:46:14,228
[theme music]
78441
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