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1
00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:06,934
(exotic Middle Eastern music
plays)
2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,501
(Big Band jazz music plays)
3
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,901
(wind blowing)
4
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:41,968
DUCKMAN:
* ...Bottles of scotch
on the wall *
5
00:00:42,033 --> 00:00:43,734
* 99 bottles of scotch *
6
00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:45,934
* if one of those bottles
gets puked on the floor... *
7
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,968
Mr. Duckman...
8
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,934
(whistling)
9
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,200
Mr. Duckman, if you,
10
00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:58,167
as a chaperon
on your son's class trip,
11
00:00:58,234 --> 00:01:00,534
cannot act
with a modicum of decorum
12
00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:03,667
I'll rip out your heart
and feed it to my dingo.
13
00:01:03,734 --> 00:01:05,300
Oh, look at me shaking,
14
00:01:05,367 --> 00:01:07,934
Mr. Bighead Psychiatrist
Bus Driver.
15
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,100
(humming)
16
00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:10,934
(tires screeching)
17
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,200
(yelling)
18
00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:13,267
Ooh...
19
00:01:14,968 --> 00:01:18,033
Please stand behind
the yellow line.
20
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:20,100
(screaming)
21
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:24,133
Come on, Sally Jessy,
it's my turn on top.
22
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,701
It's probably not a good idea
to harass Dr. Stein
23
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:29,634
who was pressed into service
when the state cut funding
24
00:01:29,701 --> 00:01:32,968
for Ajax's school's bus driver,
sports programs, arts programs,
25
00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:34,901
education programs
and building fund.
26
00:01:34,968 --> 00:01:36,033
Hey, it's the '90s.
27
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,501
If kids can't learn
in a gravel pit,
28
00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:39,701
let them go out
and mug cripples
like the rest of us.
29
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:43,434
Dendron?! You said
the field trip
30
00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:45,367
was to Mel's Mud
Wrestling Warehouse.
31
00:01:45,434 --> 00:01:47,167
Simmer down, Junior.
I figured the only way
32
00:01:47,234 --> 00:01:49,200
to get you to go somewhere
with your son
33
00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:51,033
was a sexual-degradation
based lie.
34
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,100
Cornbone, you
really know me.
35
00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:56,167
Well, I guess we're off
on another zany adventure.
36
00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:58,567
You dropped the log
line there, old pal.
37
00:01:58,634 --> 00:02:01,400
* We're off on the road *
38
00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:04,334
* To Dendron, buddy *
39
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,601
* We're going *
40
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,667
* Because of my son... *
41
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:09,834
A chip off
the old blockhead.
42
00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:12,601
* We don't know
what we'll find *
43
00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:15,234
* In Dendron, buddy *
44
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:18,033
* But we're legally obligated *
45
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:20,834
* To make it fun *
46
00:02:20,901 --> 00:02:24,968
* I'll suffer pain
and great humiliation *
47
00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:26,367
It suits you.
48
00:02:26,434 --> 00:02:30,200
* I'll rant and fume
and call Bernice a hag *
49
00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:32,300
Who says
chivalry's dead?
50
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:37,634
* And since we want to get
to syndication *
51
00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:42,934
* You know we're both
gonna end up in drag *
52
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,200
* We're off on the road *
53
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:48,167
* To Dendron, buddy *
54
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:52,200
* And that's also
the name of this song *
55
00:02:52,267 --> 00:02:53,968
* For copyright purposes *
56
00:02:54,033 --> 00:02:56,734
* We don't know
what we'll find *
57
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,200
* In Dendron, buddy *
58
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:02,567
* But we know it's gotta be *
59
00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:10,334
* 23 minutes
and 19 seconds long. *
60
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:12,534
Quiet, please.
61
00:03:12,601 --> 00:03:13,868
I'm trying to drive.
62
00:03:13,934 --> 00:03:15,400
(screaming)
63
00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:17,400
(tires screeching)
64
00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:19,968
(students cheering)
65
00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:23,000
Bad news, Stein.
66
00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:25,734
You missed a pothole
300 miles back.
67
00:03:25,801 --> 00:03:27,334
Come on, Dad.
68
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,367
Everyone's going to the desert
to see a pair of mids
69
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,334
where you can play soccer
for Gus.
70
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,400
Pyramids.
71
00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:35,634
Sarcophagus.
72
00:03:35,701 --> 00:03:37,234
Ajax, you want to stare
at a bunch
73
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,701
of pointy-top coffins,
go ahead.
74
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:41,534
Me and Cornfeed, we're going
to check out the real Dendron.
75
00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:42,834
Excuse me.
76
00:03:42,901 --> 00:03:44,734
You look like you've been around
the oasis a few times.
77
00:03:44,801 --> 00:03:46,534
You know where I can find
some hookers?
78
00:03:47,701 --> 00:03:48,834
(grunts)
79
00:03:48,901 --> 00:03:51,868
Hey, if you don't speak English,
just say so.
80
00:03:51,934 --> 00:03:55,167
Make way for the
Princess of Dendron.
81
00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:58,400
Make way for the Princess
of Dendron.
82
00:03:58,467 --> 00:03:59,968
Thanks for the exposition.
83
00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:01,534
Who's tall, dark
and creepy?
84
00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:03,067
Beware. Beware.
85
00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:06,067
That is the sultan's fakir,
Achmed al-Wazir,
86
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:09,267
an evil man full of tricks
and tortures and torments.
87
00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:11,968
It is said that when
the moon is full, he...
88
00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:12,968
All right.
89
00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:14,901
Thank you.
We'll be in touch.
90
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,133
I'm deeply, deeply in love.
91
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,033
I'd better not tell Duckman.
92
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,400
Nookie. Royal nookie.
93
00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:32,133
I got everything I wantin the palm of my hand,
94
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,434
and it's not even me.
95
00:04:33,501 --> 00:04:35,167
I'd better not tell Duckman.
96
00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:42,767
Say, Corny, why don't you
and Ajax check out the sights.
97
00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:44,067
I'm going to hail a camel
98
00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:45,467
and head off aimlessly,
any direction,
99
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:46,934
certainly not trying
to follow that carriage,
100
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,901
'cause I really couldn't
care less where it's going.
101
00:04:48,968 --> 00:04:50,467
No, Duckman.
He's your son.
102
00:04:50,534 --> 00:04:52,567
You show him around,
and I'll find us a room.
103
00:04:52,634 --> 00:04:53,868
Say, isn't that a Motel 6
104
00:04:53,934 --> 00:04:55,634
over in the direction
that carriage went?
105
00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:58,968
Come.
(yells)
106
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,367
Hey, none of that now.
107
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,901
At least, let's
talk first.
108
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,901
Oh. It's a knife.
109
00:05:15,601 --> 00:05:17,868
(snapping fingers)
110
00:05:17,934 --> 00:05:22,701
Good. They have surrendered
their consciousness.
111
00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,968
But I did not hypnotize
that one.
112
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:36,934
Duckman, he's gone.
113
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:37,934
Who?
114
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:38,934
Ajax.
115
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:39,934
Ajax who?
116
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:40,934
Ajax your son.
117
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,501
Ajax my son who?
118
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:43,567
Not important.
119
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,334
Now's the part
where we run.
120
00:05:50,901 --> 00:05:52,300
Ha ha! They fell.
121
00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:53,300
Whoa!
122
00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:55,901
Oy.
123
00:05:57,267 --> 00:05:58,501
They got away,
but I think
124
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,167
they may have picked
up the wrong basket.
125
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,234
Damn. Now, we're gonna
have to wait for years
126
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:03,734
till all these baskets
are sold
127
00:06:03,801 --> 00:06:06,200
and someone comes back
complaining there's
a dead body in one.
128
00:06:06,267 --> 00:06:07,534
We could search them.
129
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,167
Oh, search them.
130
00:06:09,234 --> 00:06:11,701
Listen to the fancy-pantsy
college man.
131
00:06:11,767 --> 00:06:14,000
All right, fine.
Let's search them.
132
00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:23,000
(yells)
133
00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:24,567
Sorry. Thought I saw him.
134
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,868
He's gone.
135
00:06:25,934 --> 00:06:28,334
He's really gone.
136
00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:36,901
We've looked for
hours. Nothing.
137
00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:38,968
How could I lose
my only son?
138
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:40,434
You know what I mean,
the one I like.
139
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,667
I'm more tired than
Madonna's plumber
140
00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:44,234
with a mouthful
of Mentos.
141
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,567
You don't even care
142
00:06:45,634 --> 00:06:47,467
if your jokes make sense
anymore, do you?
143
00:06:47,534 --> 00:06:49,067
Not since
the second season.
144
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:52,000
I'm just sub-referencing
for the hell of it now.
145
00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:54,133
I'm worried that Ajax
might be in the clutches
146
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,300
of the filthiest,
greediest animals on Earth.
147
00:06:56,367 --> 00:06:57,667
Cable system operators?
148
00:06:57,734 --> 00:06:58,767
Slave traders.
149
00:06:58,834 --> 00:07:00,601
We may need to buy his freedom.
150
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:02,834
And since you spent our money
on a gag photo of us
151
00:07:02,901 --> 00:07:04,901
standing in front of a fake
backdrop of a desert bazaar,
152
00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:06,300
we have a problem.
153
00:07:06,367 --> 00:07:07,434
Relax, Paddy O'Link.
154
00:07:07,501 --> 00:07:08,434
Achmach over there
155
00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:09,701
is all the cabbage
we need.
156
00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:12,267
Let's lay a number 47 on him.
157
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,501
My high school pep squad,
the Nile High Club
158
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:17,567
is selling magazines
159
00:07:17,634 --> 00:07:19,200
to raise money
for a trip to Epcot.
160
00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:20,634
Do you currently get Redbook?
161
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,968
What? I am
the sultan of Dendron.
162
00:07:23,033 --> 00:07:24,367
Hey, okay. Chill.
163
00:07:24,434 --> 00:07:26,634
Can you at least change
a ten-piaster coin?
164
00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:27,968
Huh? What?
165
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:29,267
Very well.
166
00:07:31,434 --> 00:07:33,534
Oh, uh, this isn't a ten.
It's a 25.
167
00:07:33,601 --> 00:07:35,634
Take the fives back,
and that's two tens and a five.
168
00:07:35,701 --> 00:07:37,234
Let's see, that's ten,
and this is what, a 20?
169
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,901
So, take ten,
give me five,
170
00:07:38,968 --> 00:07:40,200
you take the 20,
and give me the tens...
171
00:07:40,267 --> 00:07:41,834
Enough! Keep the tens.
172
00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:43,934
Just leave me be,
you idiot.
173
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,701
That was close.
174
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,868
I'm sure glad you didn't do
something stupid like... uh-oh.
175
00:07:49,934 --> 00:07:51,667
Hey, Jamie Farr!
176
00:07:51,734 --> 00:07:53,267
So, I'm an idiot, huh?
177
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:56,000
Well, we just ran the oldest
con in the book on you.
178
00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:57,200
That's right.
179
00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:59,133
I, an idiot, and my partner--
180
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,801
who you hookah-happy,
falafel-fluffing, hump-hoppers
181
00:08:02,868 --> 00:08:04,167
think is unclean--
182
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,868
just fleeced you out
of a dungload of cash
183
00:08:06,934 --> 00:08:07,934
and I'm glad.
184
00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:16,467
(stammering)
185
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:18,968
That was, um, a
monologue from...
186
00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:22,767
From The Moronand His Friend AreAllowed To Live--
187
00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:24,701
a new play
we're rehearsing.
188
00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:26,634
(murmuring)
189
00:08:26,701 --> 00:08:30,367
Written by Salman Rushdie.
190
00:08:30,434 --> 00:08:32,367
You couldn't have
said David Mamet?
191
00:08:40,901 --> 00:08:42,701
Fresh filet at 2:00.
192
00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:44,000
The princess.
193
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,067
I think she's naked.
194
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,567
She wears it well.
195
00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:50,601
(screaming)
196
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,167
Had enough?
197
00:08:52,234 --> 00:08:54,000
You can't keep us
here, you know.
198
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,934
We're Americans.
We have rights.
199
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,100
Including the right
to bear arms.
200
00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:00,400
So, could we, like,
have some guns?
201
00:09:00,467 --> 00:09:01,467
Liberals.
202
00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:03,868
Ow! What's with
the hair mail?
203
00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:08,200
It's from the princess.
204
00:09:08,267 --> 00:09:11,434
"My strong, handsome hero.
205
00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:14,701
"I bring good news.
206
00:09:14,767 --> 00:09:18,701
"The one you seek, Ajax,is rumored to be alive and well
207
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,601
and somewhere close by..."
208
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,100
Wee-yeah.
209
00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:26,467
"Ever since the bazaar,I've known you are my destiny.
210
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:31,067
"But my father, the sultan,is very angry.
211
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:33,834
I beg, but he willonly spare one of you."
212
00:09:33,901 --> 00:09:36,133
Blah, blah, blah."Heart has wings."
213
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,234
Blah, blah, blah."Ancient pleasure techniques."
214
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,133
Blah, blah, blah. "Hot oils."
215
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,033
The rest is
fairly dry stuff.
216
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:44,467
Poor kid's got it bad.
217
00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:46,834
What she needs
is a dose of vitamin D.
218
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,901
Then she'll need
some penicillin.
219
00:09:48,968 --> 00:09:49,934
Don't flip
your wigly, pigly.
220
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,567
When they drag you
to the behead office,
221
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,200
I'll put in
a good word for you.
222
00:09:53,267 --> 00:09:55,067
That is, after I save Ajax.
223
00:09:56,868 --> 00:09:58,501
Ah, Ouija Board
and Sergio.
224
00:09:58,567 --> 00:10:00,634
Be gentle when you
take him away...!
225
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,968
(yelling)
226
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:05,400
* The princess loves me *
227
00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:07,601
* The princess
loves me *
228
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,834
* Princess... *
229
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:14,200
* Loves me... *
230
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:15,400
What am I doing?
231
00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:16,701
Dancing for four days,
232
00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:18,767
forgetting about
Ajax and Duckman.
233
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:21,300
Why would I behave
so carelessly, so unlike myself?
234
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:23,167
MAN:
The password is...
235
00:10:25,634 --> 00:10:29,000
No woman is worth jeopardizing
your friends' lives for,
236
00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:31,501
except Elle MacPherson
or Julie Moran from ET.
237
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,000
Or Martha Stewart.
238
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,100
Mmm.
239
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:37,234
I've got to try to save Duckman.
240
00:10:53,501 --> 00:10:55,033
DUCKMAN:
Stop! No!
241
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:56,701
You're killing me!
242
00:10:56,767 --> 00:10:58,234
I can't take it!
243
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,567
No more!
244
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,200
No!
245
00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:05,767
You're tickling,
you bad girl, you.
246
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,934
You've got to admit.
247
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,133
The kid's got style.
248
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,534
Oh! No fair tickling.
249
00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:14,067
Just polish the toenails,
not the heel.
250
00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,567
All I see is heel.
251
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:16,834
Very nice.
252
00:11:16,901 --> 00:11:19,667
Look, they would have
killed you four days ago.
253
00:11:19,734 --> 00:11:20,868
If not for me,
254
00:11:20,934 --> 00:11:22,667
you'd be a football by now.
255
00:11:22,734 --> 00:11:24,868
Besides, don't play so innocent.
256
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,000
* The princess loves me *
257
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,400
* The princess loves me... *
258
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:32,033
All right, we were both wrong.
259
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,567
So, is the princess incredible?
260
00:11:33,634 --> 00:11:36,501
Ah... unbelievable.
261
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:38,901
Darling,
what is he doing here?
262
00:11:38,968 --> 00:11:40,767
She looks exactly like...
263
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,634
An angel. Yes!
264
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:47,100
Cornfed, this is
Princess Fallopia,
265
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:48,534
my fiancee.
266
00:11:48,601 --> 00:11:50,901
Mr. Cornfed,
I am happy you are safe,
267
00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:53,467
but it is dangerous
for you to be here.
268
00:11:53,534 --> 00:11:54,901
If my father knew...
269
00:11:54,968 --> 00:11:56,701
He won't,
my little sand crab.
270
00:11:56,767 --> 00:12:00,234
FALLOPIA:
Something strange
is going on
271
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:03,667
at a large storage tent
outside of camp.
272
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:05,934
Someone mentioned
a wicker basket.
273
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,767
It may be Ajax's.
274
00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:08,968
Here's a map.
275
00:12:09,033 --> 00:12:11,133
Please be careful, my stallion.
276
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,968
I need you to kiss
my buttery lips,
277
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,601
caress my creamy skin,
278
00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:19,701
sip from the milk
of my passion.
279
00:12:19,767 --> 00:12:22,868
Not in front of
the easant-pay.
280
00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:24,367
(giggling)
281
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:28,200
You know, of course,
that any chance of a comic,
282
00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:30,601
song-filled competition
for her is dead and gone.
283
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,567
Along with my libido--
dating Ajax's twin.
284
00:12:33,634 --> 00:12:36,000
Hey, I'm a charter member
of the horny hall of fame,
285
00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:37,334
but, I mean, there's
some issues here.
286
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,934
So I paid a cook to slip her
a mickey at dinner every night.
287
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,334
Next morning,
she doesn't remember a thing.
288
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,133
So I tell that tall tail
a tall tale
289
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,000
about how sex-sational I was.
290
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:46,801
Now, let's go get Ajax.
291
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,167
This map doesn't
say which tent.
292
00:12:51,234 --> 00:12:52,767
Corny, if you were
a wicker basket,
293
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:53,901
where would you be?
294
00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:58,133
Oh, no.
295
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,133
Don't you worry,
Corny. Follow me.
296
00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:03,133
Dad!
297
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,634
Duckman, how did you...?
298
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:05,667
(sniffs)
299
00:13:05,734 --> 00:13:07,167
Never mind.
300
00:13:07,234 --> 00:13:08,234
Huh?
301
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,067
(sniffs)
302
00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:13,801
Oh, my God.
303
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,701
Come on, please,
something happen.
304
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:25,400
Duckman,
you can't save us
305
00:13:25,467 --> 00:13:27,501
by just rubbing
some magic lamp.
306
00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:29,934
Who said anything
about a magic lamp.
307
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,067
Come on, come on!
308
00:13:31,133 --> 00:13:33,200
I pray you're only a mirage.
309
00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:35,634
Hey, scarab, I'm tired
of traveling worst class.
310
00:13:35,701 --> 00:13:38,501
Perhaps you'd re-think your
lack of manners and hygiene
311
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,601
if we slipped some
gunga dinero your way.
312
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:41,701
Will you shut up?!
313
00:13:41,767 --> 00:13:43,667
Who here is the hostage,
I ask?
314
00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:45,234
Me? No, I don't think so.
315
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,400
Our tour guide's
giving me 1,001 frights.
316
00:13:47,467 --> 00:13:49,267
How did I let you
get me into this?
317
00:13:49,334 --> 00:13:50,534
Yes, it was rotten
of me
318
00:13:50,601 --> 00:13:52,801
to give in to your pleas
to accompany you.
319
00:13:52,868 --> 00:13:55,601
Perhaps you could explain
your madman's scheme to us
320
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:58,567
in the time-honored fashion
of over-confident villains.
321
00:13:58,634 --> 00:13:59,734
As you wish.
322
00:13:59,801 --> 00:14:01,267
For me to rise to the throne,
323
00:14:01,334 --> 00:14:02,667
I must kill the princess.
324
00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,968
This I will achieve
at the sultan's banquet
325
00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:07,934
by substituting poison
for the nightly sleeping potion
326
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,601
you've been giving her. Swish.
327
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:12,067
The NBA finals really
are seen in 83 countries.
328
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:13,367
Then you'll tell
the sultan
329
00:14:13,434 --> 00:14:15,133
that we plotted
to kill the princess,
330
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,434
so the sultan
will kill us.
331
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:17,567
Exactly.
332
00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:19,334
Fortunately, the banquet
isn't for hours,
333
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,734
leaving us time
for some entertaining torture.
334
00:14:21,801 --> 00:14:22,901
And here we are.
335
00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:24,300
Behold...
336
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:26,033
(evil laughter)
337
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:28,901
the tent of terror!
338
00:14:35,701 --> 00:14:36,934
Enter if ye dare.
339
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,767
Try to keep this closed.
340
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,033
We have a problem with gnats.
341
00:14:42,534 --> 00:14:43,767
(screaming)
342
00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,467
You like?
343
00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:47,834
The wall mirrors
really do seem to add space.
344
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,334
Harem-scarem, Corny,
345
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,200
they're going to dip one
of us into that fire.
346
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,400
Well, I've already
been kicking around
347
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,701
some ideas for
your eulogy,
348
00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:04,601
so why don't you just
step up there, and...
349
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:05,734
(yells)
350
00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:06,934
Ow!
351
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:11,067
Higher and deeper
with the baby powder, son. I...
352
00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:15,167
Hey, why am I smelling
11 herbs and spices?
353
00:15:15,234 --> 00:15:18,067
Egad! Death, rotisserie-style!
354
00:15:21,968 --> 00:15:23,968
(speaking gibberish)
355
00:15:26,734 --> 00:15:28,434
(both gasping)
356
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,300
Ah!!
357
00:15:37,801 --> 00:15:40,267
(coughing and panting)
358
00:15:40,334 --> 00:15:42,601
What took you so long?
359
00:15:45,601 --> 00:15:47,734
No, Ajax, come on.
360
00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:53,634
Why did I put in
that water slide?
361
00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:55,434
After them!
362
00:16:10,868 --> 00:16:13,601
(all yelling)
363
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,901
(whooping)
364
00:16:19,968 --> 00:16:22,167
(screaming)
365
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:27,367
We've got to get
to the banquet
366
00:16:27,434 --> 00:16:28,601
and stop that toast.
367
00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:29,834
But I like toast.
368
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:32,067
It's the muffins
that must be stopped.
369
00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:35,067
Okay, son, now you're starting
to scare the viewers.
370
00:16:35,133 --> 00:16:36,634
Look!
An approaching camel.
371
00:16:36,701 --> 00:16:39,133
We got to somehow
swing ourselves onto it
372
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,801
as it races by.
373
00:16:50,767 --> 00:16:52,033
CORNFED:
All right.
374
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,200
Way to go.
375
00:16:58,534 --> 00:17:00,734
I will make
this toast quick.
376
00:17:00,801 --> 00:17:03,834
I understand the nomads
are in a hurry to relocate.
377
00:17:03,901 --> 00:17:05,901
(forced laughter)
378
00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:06,934
Yes, well...
379
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,100
(clearing throat)
380
00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:10,200
Let us drink
to the most brilliant flower
381
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,067
of all the Nile,
382
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:15,067
my daughter, Fallopia.
383
00:17:18,601 --> 00:17:20,400
(yelling)
384
00:17:20,467 --> 00:17:23,634
A thousand pardons,
Your Heinous Highness.
385
00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:26,634
We are but bumbling waiters
only wishing to serve thee.
386
00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:30,634
Wine can make
an excellent burn salve.
387
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:33,501
It is hint
from Heloise.
388
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,834
Switch the glasses now.
389
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:41,367
What manner of
chicanery is this?
390
00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:43,200
Take them away!
391
00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:46,334
Patty-cake, patty-cake,
baker's man,
392
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,300
bake me a cake
as fast as you...
393
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:50,434
(grunting)
394
00:17:54,501 --> 00:17:56,901
My sincerest apologies,
Your Majesty.
395
00:17:56,968 --> 00:17:58,067
Please continue.
396
00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:00,434
To Fallopia.
397
00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:02,400
One moment, please.
398
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:06,100
Um, it is written
that no one may drink
399
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:10,367
until the shimmy of
10,000 veils is complete.
400
00:18:10,434 --> 00:18:13,434
Is this not true,
Cornferezzade?
401
00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:14,934
Yes. I mean...
402
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,200
(clearing throat)
403
00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:17,334
Yes.
404
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,234
Why, you sultry
little sultan of swing.
405
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,534
I'd smoke your hookah
anytime.
406
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,567
Never before have I seen
407
00:18:24,634 --> 00:18:27,467
two damsels so dainty,
so delicate.
408
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:30,901
They are the essence
of femininity itself.
409
00:18:30,968 --> 00:18:32,901
Too bad I'm gay. Begone.
410
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:36,901
I told you it was
step-pivot-step.
411
00:18:36,968 --> 00:18:41,033
(both grunting and arguing)
412
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,100
Wait one moment.
413
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:43,467
I know of these two.
414
00:18:43,534 --> 00:18:45,801
(teeth chattering)
415
00:18:45,868 --> 00:18:48,901
It is the bumbling waiters...
in drag!
416
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:53,000
Have you any more foolish ways
of delaying this toast?
417
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:54,601
Just a couple.
418
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,567
Jennifer Flowers... and a yak.
419
00:19:30,634 --> 00:19:32,601
Haw-haw! Jennifer Flow...
420
00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:34,767
Enough! You two are awful!
421
00:19:34,834 --> 00:19:37,567
Thank Allah, comedy
teams are dead.
422
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,801
Everyone, hurry
up and drink
423
00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:42,801
before these buffoons
stop us again.
424
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:48,300
BOTH:
Good thing I was finally able
to switch goblets.
425
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:49,701
(both yelling)
426
00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:50,968
(slurping)
427
00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:52,067
(gagging)
428
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:53,801
(choking)
429
00:19:55,701 --> 00:19:59,534
Your daughter is,
dare I say, spectacularly dead.
430
00:19:59,601 --> 00:20:02,367
Dead? If my Fallopia is dead,
431
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:05,834
then I can no longer
go on living.
432
00:20:05,901 --> 00:20:08,234
That was kind of,
like, the game plan.
433
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:09,934
Y-you mean...?
434
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,701
Yes! I am responsible
for her death.
435
00:20:12,767 --> 00:20:15,100
With both of you
out of the way,
436
00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:18,167
I will become the
next ruler of Dendron
437
00:20:18,234 --> 00:20:21,767
and I tell this to you now,
knowing that nothing
438
00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:25,067
could possibly, possibly,
possibly go wrong.
439
00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:26,133
(moaning)
440
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,167
(gasping)
441
00:20:27,234 --> 00:20:28,434
(burping)
442
00:20:28,501 --> 00:20:30,868
The princess
will be in great agony
443
00:20:30,934 --> 00:20:33,033
after taking a spill like that.
444
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:35,000
Uh-oh. I suddenly remember
445
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,334
that I, Ajax, switched places
with the princess.
446
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,267
Ow.
447
00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:43,834
She lives.
448
00:20:43,901 --> 00:20:46,200
Guards, seize this fakir!
449
00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:49,067
One thing confuses me.
450
00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:52,100
Why did you bother
kidnapping Ajax?
451
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,067
Why? I'll tell you why.
452
00:20:54,133 --> 00:20:56,634
(loud chewing)
453
00:20:56,701 --> 00:20:59,167
And that's why I did it!
454
00:20:59,234 --> 00:21:01,667
(demented laughter)
455
00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:04,133
Good work, Ajax.
456
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,934
Switching places
with the princess
457
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,901
and pretending
to drink the poison...
458
00:21:07,968 --> 00:21:09,667
Pretending to drink?
459
00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:12,767
(laughing)
(laughing)
460
00:21:12,834 --> 00:21:13,834
Don't worry, son.
461
00:21:13,901 --> 00:21:15,234
If you can hold on
through the finale,
462
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:16,400
I'm sure there's
an antidote booth
463
00:21:16,467 --> 00:21:17,501
in the bazaar.
464
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:21,067
Duckman, now we
can get married.
465
00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:22,133
Forget it, honey.
466
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,734
Sing, and we're out.
467
00:21:23,801 --> 00:21:30,901
(no audio)
468
00:22:06,801 --> 00:22:12,367
* We're off on the road
to Dendron, buddy *
469
00:22:12,434 --> 00:22:17,701
* And that's also
the name of this song *
470
00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:20,033
* We don't know
what we'll find *
471
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:23,367
* In Dendron, buddy *
472
00:22:23,434 --> 00:22:26,367
* But we know it's gotta be *
473
00:22:26,434 --> 00:22:29,367
* 23 minutes
and 19 seconds lo... *
474
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:37,300
Swish!
32659
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