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1
00:00:27,272 --> 00:00:31,262
Vlad, the idea is I make a move,
you make a move.
2
00:00:32,062 --> 00:00:36,082
Not I make a move, wait half an hour
and then drop dead of boredom.
3
00:00:36,132 --> 00:00:39,192
If you do, do I win?
4
00:00:39,242 --> 00:00:42,102
Just make a move!
5
00:00:42,152 --> 00:00:43,212
OK.
6
00:00:43,262 --> 00:00:48,242
- My horse takes your king.
- How do you figure that out?
7
00:00:48,292 --> 00:00:52,082
My horse canters up to your pawn,
gallops round your bishop,
8
00:00:52,132 --> 00:00:54,182
jumps over your queen and lands
on your king,
9
00:00:54,232 --> 00:00:56,202
squishing him to a pulp.
10
00:00:56,252 --> 00:00:57,262
Yes!
11
00:00:58,062 --> 00:01:01,182
You know, one day they might invent
a computer that can beat me.
12
00:01:01,232 --> 00:01:04,212
Great, then we can hang out with it
instead of you.
13
00:01:04,262 --> 00:01:05,272
Ha! Ha!
14
00:01:06,072 --> 00:01:08,222
You don't have to be here.
You don't even like chess.
15
00:01:08,272 --> 00:01:11,082
I like chess. And you know why?
16
00:01:11,132 --> 00:01:15,272
It's got absolutely nothing to do
with vampires. No bats, no blood.
17
00:01:16,072 --> 00:01:19,132
- All right, listen up!
- No slayers?
18
00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:23,192
Miss Clelland's had an "unfortunate"
accident on the way here,
19
00:01:23,242 --> 00:01:25,172
so you'll be delighted to hear
20
00:01:25,222 --> 00:01:28,092
I'm taking the chess club
this evening.
21
00:01:28,142 --> 00:01:32,052
(All sigh)
Very funny, now settle down.
22
00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:38,202
And I suggest you concentrate.
23
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,222
But that's checkmate!
24
00:01:43,272 --> 00:01:46,202
Only then will you become
a grand chess master
25
00:01:46,252 --> 00:01:51,132
like... the Great Chandu.
26
00:01:51,182 --> 00:01:54,272
- Chan-who?
- Chandu!
27
00:01:55,072 --> 00:01:58,252
Chandu was a Hungarian Count
from the 18th century
28
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:03,262
and remains the greatest
chess player who ever lived.
29
00:02:04,062 --> 00:02:06,072
I've never heard of him.
30
00:02:06,122 --> 00:02:07,272
That's hardly surprising.
31
00:02:08,072 --> 00:02:10,272
But I'm sure your father
will know who he is.
32
00:02:11,072 --> 00:02:15,182
Which reminds me.
This is from the headmistress.
33
00:02:17,132 --> 00:02:20,152
Oh, please. Not parents' evening!
34
00:02:20,202 --> 00:02:24,272
It's a reminder
that all parents must attend.
35
00:02:36,162 --> 00:02:38,252
If Dad sees this, it'll be a disaster.
36
00:02:39,052 --> 00:02:40,212
I've got to get rid of it.
37
00:02:40,262 --> 00:02:43,242
But Master Vlad,
won't you get in terrible trouble?
38
00:02:43,292 --> 00:02:47,052
- It's from your headmistress!
- I know.
39
00:02:47,102 --> 00:02:51,052
And it'd be great for Dad to take
an interest in my school work,
40
00:02:51,102 --> 00:02:54,172
but no, there's just no way.
41
00:02:54,222 --> 00:02:56,092
It's too dangerous.
42
00:02:59,272 --> 00:03:02,052
There, now that will be the end of it.
43
00:03:02,102 --> 00:03:04,052
Parents' evening?
44
00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:06,142
What a marvellous idea!
45
00:03:07,212 --> 00:03:10,232
- Where did you get that letter?
- Ingrid gave it to me.
46
00:03:10,282 --> 00:03:13,172
I have to say
parents' evening sounds great fun.
47
00:03:13,212 --> 00:03:15,102
You don't even know what it is.
48
00:03:15,152 --> 00:03:18,292
Lots of parents feasting on the blood
of their least favourite offspring?
49
00:03:19,092 --> 00:03:23,072
Not quite. You talk to our teachers
about how we're doing at school.
50
00:03:23,122 --> 00:03:26,282
Uh. Sounds ghastly.
In that case, I'm not going.
51
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:30,272
Oh, really, Vladimir, tell them
you're not losing to a stuffed dog?
52
00:03:31,072 --> 00:03:32,182
He's a wolf!
53
00:03:32,232 --> 00:03:36,222
You're going to have to practise
if you want to be as good as me,
54
00:03:36,272 --> 00:03:39,132
the greatest chess player
to stalk the earth.
55
00:03:39,182 --> 00:03:42,072
I thought that was The Great Chandu.
56
00:03:47,152 --> 00:03:50,222
What did you say?
57
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,252
The Great Chandu?
58
00:03:56,222 --> 00:04:00,052
Mr Van Helsing said he was
the best chess player in the world.
59
00:04:02,122 --> 00:04:04,082
What did I say?
60
00:04:04,132 --> 00:04:07,082
I am the greatest chess player ever!
61
00:04:08,102 --> 00:04:09,182
And I can prove it.
62
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:17,222
OK, as nice as it is to be involved
in "family business" for once,
63
00:04:17,272 --> 00:04:19,172
I was painting my nails.
64
00:04:19,222 --> 00:04:24,162
Be quiet, Ingrid, this is important.
What I am about to tell you
65
00:04:24,212 --> 00:04:27,112
is the story of how you
and your brother came to be.
66
00:04:27,162 --> 00:04:30,282
You're not going to tell us about
the birds and the bees, are you?
67
00:04:31,082 --> 00:04:33,052
Now listen,
68
00:04:33,102 --> 00:04:36,092
300 years ago,
69
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:39,152
Chandu and I were in love
with the same girl.
70
00:04:42,202 --> 00:04:45,072
Your mother, Magda.
71
00:04:45,122 --> 00:04:49,132
So to decide who should
win her affections, we played chess.
72
00:04:49,182 --> 00:04:50,272
Romantic.
73
00:04:51,072 --> 00:04:55,202
For centuries chess has settled
all manner of gentlemanly disputes.
74
00:04:57,112 --> 00:05:02,122
And destiny decided that she and I
would be together forever.
75
00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:04,162
Until she ran off with a werewolf.
76
00:05:04,212 --> 00:05:08,172
While Chandu suffered the fate
of all losers.
77
00:05:13,232 --> 00:05:16,262
Death by mummification!
78
00:05:23,092 --> 00:05:24,212
So, you see?
79
00:05:24,262 --> 00:05:29,072
Here lies proof that I am indeed
the best chess player ever.
80
00:05:29,122 --> 00:05:31,082
Is that it?
You dragged us down here
81
00:05:31,132 --> 00:05:34,152
just to tell us that you beat
some stinking mummy at chess?
82
00:05:34,202 --> 00:05:38,172
Next time Mr Van Helsing tells me
something, I'll keep it to myself.
83
00:05:38,222 --> 00:05:42,052
Vladimir, no one slurs
the name of a Dracula!
84
00:05:43,192 --> 00:05:46,052
Now go.
85
00:05:46,102 --> 00:05:48,212
Leave me with my memories.
86
00:05:48,262 --> 00:05:50,182
I want to be alone.
87
00:05:55,172 --> 00:05:58,112
(Cheerful whistling)
88
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:03,252
Just dusting your blood collection,
Master.
89
00:06:04,052 --> 00:06:08,292
Curse that teacher
saying Chandu was better than me!
90
00:06:09,092 --> 00:06:11,292
Surely you won't let him
get away with it, Master?
91
00:06:13,152 --> 00:06:16,282
Renfield, I think the time
has finally come
92
00:06:17,082 --> 00:06:19,172
to venture
into the world of breathers.
93
00:06:23,272 --> 00:06:28,092
Er, Vladimir,
about this... this parents' evening.
94
00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:31,242
You'd rather cut off your arms
and feed them to a giant dung beast.
95
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:34,272
They were Ingrid's arms, actually.
But the point is
96
00:06:35,072 --> 00:06:38,052
all this talk of your mother
has made me realise
97
00:06:38,102 --> 00:06:40,242
you deserve one parent there,
at least.
98
00:06:40,282 --> 00:06:43,172
- Don't worry about it.
- No, no. It's no problem.
99
00:06:43,222 --> 00:06:45,212
I really don't mind.
100
00:06:47,122 --> 00:06:48,292
I'm coming.
101
00:06:49,092 --> 00:06:51,272
You can't! It's not safe
for you to go out in daylight.
102
00:06:52,072 --> 00:06:55,172
- Well, it'll be a challenge.
- A challenge? You'll melt!
103
00:06:55,222 --> 00:06:59,262
And what if you bite someone?
The place will be full of breathers!
104
00:07:00,062 --> 00:07:03,152
- Yes, I know.
- Dad!
105
00:07:03,202 --> 00:07:06,242
Oh, really, Vladimir,
you should have more faith in me!
106
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:11,062
I'm going to parents' evening
tomorrow and that is final!
107
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:20,112
Now what do we do?
If Dad bites someone at school,
108
00:07:20,162 --> 00:07:23,052
we'll be on the first ship
back to Transylvania!
109
00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:24,272
Bagsie a cabin by the window?
110
00:07:53,282 --> 00:07:55,262
I can't believe
you gave Dad the letter.
111
00:07:56,062 --> 00:07:58,252
Have you any idea
how dangerous that is?
112
00:07:59,052 --> 00:08:01,162
What if he runs
into Mr Van Helsing?!
113
00:08:01,212 --> 00:08:04,172
That loser? He's no match for Dad.
114
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:08,082
You're just worried he'll hear
what a goody two fangs you are,
115
00:08:08,132 --> 00:08:10,272
whereas when he hears
how wicked and evil I am,
116
00:08:11,062 --> 00:08:13,172
he'll have to be proud of me.
117
00:08:13,222 --> 00:08:18,052
I can't wait to leave the castle.
It'll do me good to stretch my wings.
118
00:08:18,102 --> 00:08:20,242
Dad, you can't turn
into a bat at school!
119
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:22,202
Too showy?
120
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:26,192
- Too "Vlad's dad's a vampire"!
- Breather-lover's got a point.
121
00:08:26,242 --> 00:08:29,252
Maybe you shouldn't
wear the cape either.
122
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:33,152
Ah. Not even if I wear this with it?
123
00:08:33,202 --> 00:08:35,162
Especially not if you wear that.
124
00:08:37,072 --> 00:08:40,232
Right.
You know, really, you two. Relax!
125
00:08:44,292 --> 00:08:47,122
What's the worst that can happen?
126
00:08:48,232 --> 00:08:50,232
- Parents' evening?
- Don't!
127
00:08:50,282 --> 00:08:54,222
Just the words "parents' evening" sounds
like someone yelling inside my head.
128
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:57,232
Your dad is coming
to parents' evening?
129
00:08:57,282 --> 00:09:01,272
What if Van Helsing finds out? He'll
denounce him in front of everybody!
130
00:09:02,072 --> 00:09:04,192
That's if he doesn't ram a stake
through your dad's...!
131
00:09:04,242 --> 00:09:06,172
- Shush!
- Yes, I know!
132
00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:09,122
I tried talking him out of it,
but you know what he's like!
133
00:09:09,172 --> 00:09:11,102
What am I going to do?
134
00:09:11,152 --> 00:09:14,242
Look, don't panic.
Robin and I will make sure
135
00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:18,202
that Van Helsing keeps
well away from your dad.
136
00:09:18,252 --> 00:09:21,102
Yes!
137
00:09:21,152 --> 00:09:22,212
Arghhh!
138
00:09:24,072 --> 00:09:27,122
Jonathan, you know I can't stand
skeletons! They give me the creeps.
139
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:29,282
Sorry, but he can't walk
to the biology display.
140
00:09:30,082 --> 00:09:32,232
Well, get rid of it.
We've got work to do.
141
00:09:32,282 --> 00:09:36,192
Count Dracula is coming to parents'
evening and do you know why?
142
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,252
- He's a parent?
- No.
143
00:09:39,052 --> 00:09:42,162
Because of my careful research!
144
00:09:42,212 --> 00:09:46,172
I knew I'd lure him out
of the castle sooner or later.
145
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:51,252
Jonno, prepare yourself
for a showdown.
146
00:10:00,092 --> 00:10:03,152
They'll never guess you're
a vampire wearing this, Master.
147
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:07,172
And it's 100% sun-proof.
148
00:10:07,222 --> 00:10:11,082
You've done well, Renfield.
Now for the final touch...
149
00:10:12,262 --> 00:10:14,172
sunglasses.
150
00:10:21,202 --> 00:10:23,172
The other ones!
151
00:10:30,102 --> 00:10:34,172
Perfect! That Van Helsing
won't know what bit him.
152
00:10:39,142 --> 00:10:42,092
Robin, it doesn't matter
what your teachers say tonight,
153
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,122
so long as you've gotten over
this obsession with vampires.
154
00:10:45,172 --> 00:10:46,152
Yes, Mam.
155
00:10:46,202 --> 00:10:49,172
If not, we've decided to send you
to Happy Camp.
156
00:10:49,222 --> 00:10:52,072
Where troubled children go
to learn how to be happy.
157
00:10:52,122 --> 00:10:54,132
Through happy music and happy dance.
158
00:10:54,182 --> 00:10:55,282
Just kill me now.
159
00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:04,122
Right, it won't take me long
to deal with that woodwork teacher.
160
00:11:04,172 --> 00:11:07,132
In fact, go fetch a bottle
of my finest blood.
161
00:11:07,182 --> 00:11:11,062
- I can drink it on his demise.
- Yes, Master.
162
00:11:11,112 --> 00:11:13,202
Mr and Mrs Branagh,
it's nice to meet you.
163
00:11:13,252 --> 00:11:15,182
I'm Mr Perkins, Robin's art teacher.
164
00:11:15,232 --> 00:11:17,062
Oh, it's lovely to meet you.
165
00:11:17,112 --> 00:11:20,212
Art is Robin's favourite subject.
As a toddler he was always drawing.
166
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,092
- What was it you used to paint?
- Dad, I don't...
167
00:11:23,142 --> 00:11:25,122
That's right.
Big, pink bunny rabbits.
168
00:11:25,172 --> 00:11:29,132
- Dad!
- Rabbits? Interesting...
169
00:11:29,182 --> 00:11:32,152
(Whoosh)
Hang on, did you feel that?
170
00:11:32,202 --> 00:11:35,182
Must be a draught. The back
of my neck's just gone cold.
171
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:52,142
Cooee! Mr Count!
172
00:11:52,192 --> 00:11:56,092
Oh, no, it's that interminable
Branagh woman. Just ignore her.
173
00:11:57,142 --> 00:11:59,142
- Dad!
- Right!
174
00:11:59,192 --> 00:12:02,052
Cooee... There, happy now?
175
00:12:04,092 --> 00:12:06,292
Right, from now on,
we're keeping high alert!
176
00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:09,212
If Van Helsing finds out
the Count's here, he'll...
177
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:13,102
They threatened to send me to Happy
Camp if tonight doesn't go well.
178
00:12:13,152 --> 00:12:15,242
- I've got problems, too!
- OK, fine.
179
00:12:15,292 --> 00:12:20,092
I'll go and protect our best friend's
entire existence on my own then!
180
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,122
(Cheerful whistling)
181
00:12:43,202 --> 00:12:45,072
(He sniffs)
182
00:12:49,162 --> 00:12:50,262
(Whoosh!)
183
00:13:06,142 --> 00:13:09,152
Agh, ya, hay! Hay.
184
00:13:31,202 --> 00:13:34,142
Great. Looks like we're
seeing the headmistress first.
185
00:13:34,192 --> 00:13:36,202
She really doesn't like me.
186
00:13:36,252 --> 00:13:39,232
Oh, really, Vladimir,
Draculas don't queue.
187
00:13:44,252 --> 00:13:48,092
Mr Count, please!
These people are... were in a queue.
188
00:13:48,142 --> 00:13:50,132
I say,
189
00:13:50,182 --> 00:13:52,202
what a delicious looking neck
you have.
190
00:13:52,252 --> 00:13:54,232
- Pardon?
- Necklace!
191
00:13:54,282 --> 00:13:59,052
- He meant to say necklace.
- And you smell so...
192
00:13:59,102 --> 00:14:00,222
So fresh!
193
00:14:04,072 --> 00:14:07,142
Well, well,
I suppose I could see you now.
194
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:12,162
I have a whole list of Ingrid's
of fences to discuss with you.
195
00:14:12,212 --> 00:14:15,072
Mmm. Really?
196
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:18,252
As I was saying,
when did Robin stop drawing rabbits
197
00:14:19,052 --> 00:14:23,072
and start drawing...
this kind of thing?
198
00:14:23,122 --> 00:14:26,232
I have to ask.
Is Robin happy at home?
199
00:14:33,162 --> 00:14:36,052
Dad! Everyone's wondering
where you are.
200
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:39,072
You're a teacher,
you've got responsibilities.
201
00:14:42,262 --> 00:14:45,112
My responsibility
202
00:14:45,162 --> 00:14:47,282
is to rid the world of vampires,
203
00:14:48,082 --> 00:14:52,122
using this.
The Transylvanian Torch!
204
00:14:52,172 --> 00:14:54,062
Why am I not going to like this?
205
00:14:54,112 --> 00:14:58,142
This torch has harnessed
sunlight itself!
206
00:15:00,252 --> 00:15:02,212
It took years to find.
207
00:15:02,262 --> 00:15:06,122
Now, when the Count comes in here,
208
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:09,242
I'll jump up and shine the torch
in his face.
209
00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:14,092
It'll vaporise him into a big,
gloopy heap of steaming remains!
210
00:15:14,142 --> 00:15:16,172
The cleaners will be happy.
211
00:15:16,222 --> 00:15:18,132
Here.
212
00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:22,222
Give this to Vlad.
213
00:15:22,272 --> 00:15:26,192
It'll make sure the Count's next
appointment is in here with me...
214
00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:29,252
and this little beauty!
215
00:15:38,122 --> 00:15:40,102
- Hi.
- Hi.
216
00:16:09,132 --> 00:16:11,082
(He sniffs)
217
00:16:15,102 --> 00:16:16,202
Do you hear all this, Vlad?
218
00:16:16,252 --> 00:16:20,092
Ingrid is causing misery and mayhem
wherever she goes.
219
00:16:20,142 --> 00:16:23,152
Now that is how a true Dracula
should behave.
220
00:16:23,202 --> 00:16:25,262
I'm very disappointed in you.
221
00:16:26,062 --> 00:16:27,272
Oh, hold on.
222
00:16:28,072 --> 00:16:29,292
Don't I know him?
223
00:16:35,182 --> 00:16:38,072
Hi, Ingrid.
My dad asked me to give you this.
224
00:16:39,192 --> 00:16:41,112
"If my son keeps staring at you,
225
00:16:41,162 --> 00:16:44,082
"feel free to dangle
his head down the toilet."
226
00:16:44,132 --> 00:16:48,062
- Really?
- No. Get lost!
227
00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:53,142
Looks like we're seeing
Mr Van Helsing next.
228
00:16:53,192 --> 00:16:56,142
Are you crazy?
He can't see Mr Van Helsing!
229
00:16:56,192 --> 00:17:00,182
Vladimir?
What's that behind your back?
230
00:17:00,232 --> 00:17:02,172
Nothing.
231
00:17:03,172 --> 00:17:06,272
Vampire reflexes.
Don't mess with the master.
232
00:17:07,072 --> 00:17:11,102
Ah, at last,
that slanderous woodwork teacher!
233
00:17:11,152 --> 00:17:14,252
This is going to be a disaster.
234
00:17:15,052 --> 00:17:17,152
Vlad!
Van Helsing is up to something.
235
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,242
Your dad is in real danger.
236
00:17:19,292 --> 00:17:23,092
Chill out. Dad's right here with...
237
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:25,222
Dad?
238
00:17:25,272 --> 00:17:27,112
Dad?
239
00:17:30,252 --> 00:17:32,202
So, Mr Van Helsing,
240
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,282
Chandu's better at chess than me,
is he?
241
00:17:35,082 --> 00:17:37,192
Well, I've got two fangs
says he isn't.
242
00:17:37,242 --> 00:17:39,102
Excuse me,
243
00:17:39,152 --> 00:17:41,122
are you a famous rock star?
244
00:17:41,172 --> 00:17:44,092
What? Go away, I'm busy!
245
00:17:48,142 --> 00:17:49,192
Actually...
246
00:17:51,242 --> 00:17:55,072
- Come closer and say that.
- Can we have your autograph?
247
00:17:55,122 --> 00:17:56,212
(He sniffs)
248
00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:59,082
You two, scram. Go!
249
00:18:03,252 --> 00:18:06,222
Aggh! Chandu.
250
00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:10,192
I thought I recognised that foul stench.
You're looking well.
251
00:18:10,242 --> 00:18:15,112
You've lost some weight.
Calm down, Chandu. I can explain!
252
00:18:28,162 --> 00:18:31,112
Ha-ha! Gotcha, vampire scum!
253
00:18:31,162 --> 00:18:32,292
Arghh, Dad!
254
00:18:33,092 --> 00:18:34,222
Where's the Count?!
255
00:18:34,272 --> 00:18:38,222
I don't know. But thanks for
the concern. You nearly blinded me!
256
00:18:38,272 --> 00:18:41,162
If you want a job doing...!
257
00:18:44,252 --> 00:18:47,292
Well, come on.
We've got a vampire to catch.
258
00:18:56,172 --> 00:18:59,072
I can't believe Robin.
Dad's about to have a one-on-one
259
00:18:59,122 --> 00:19:01,222
with a vampire slayer
and where is he?
260
00:19:01,272 --> 00:19:06,192
Don't worry, he'll have plenty of time
to regret it in Happy Camp.
261
00:19:06,242 --> 00:19:08,112
Great, now what do we do?
262
00:19:08,162 --> 00:19:10,272
(Growling)
263
00:19:11,072 --> 00:19:13,242
- What was that?
- I don't know.
264
00:19:15,132 --> 00:19:16,192
Give it to me!
265
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:19,262
I'm guessing this is where
one of us goes in and finds out.
266
00:19:21,132 --> 00:19:23,232
Give it over, bone-head!
267
00:19:23,282 --> 00:19:26,172
- Dad?!
- Chandu?!
268
00:19:26,222 --> 00:19:28,242
Ah, children, um...
269
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:33,112
Chandu and I were just catching up
on old times. Weren't we, Chanders?
270
00:19:35,202 --> 00:19:37,122
What's that behind your back?
271
00:19:37,172 --> 00:19:39,182
Er, nothing, nothing.
272
00:19:43,272 --> 00:19:46,062
How dare you?!
273
00:19:46,112 --> 00:19:49,092
Teenage reflexes.
Don't mess with the master.
274
00:19:50,252 --> 00:19:53,282
A chess rule book?
275
00:19:54,082 --> 00:19:56,052
Dad, what's going on?
276
00:20:00,072 --> 00:20:02,292
Robin is certainly
a very creative child
277
00:20:03,092 --> 00:20:06,142
and has written some very
interesting essays.
278
00:20:06,192 --> 00:20:09,132
Great. He may not need
to go to Happy Camp after all!
279
00:20:09,182 --> 00:20:14,092
Yes, there's "Why I Love Vampires",
"My Best Friend's A Vampire",
280
00:20:14,142 --> 00:20:16,122
"Why I Want To Be A Vampire",
281
00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:19,092
"Harry Vampire
and The Goblet of Bats".
282
00:20:21,062 --> 00:20:23,212
So this is the greatest
chess player who ever lived?
283
00:20:23,262 --> 00:20:25,152
Second greatest!
284
00:20:25,202 --> 00:20:29,052
Chandu was the best, yes, then I beat
him and won Magda's affections!
285
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:33,062
But you said all losers
shall suffer death by mummification.
286
00:20:33,112 --> 00:20:35,202
And Chandu's alive...
287
00:20:35,252 --> 00:20:37,212
sort of.
288
00:20:40,152 --> 00:20:44,152
"Losers of the great game
shall suffer death by mummification,
289
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:48,102
"unless a player doth cheat,
290
00:20:48,152 --> 00:20:51,202
"in which case the loser
shall walk the earth
291
00:20:51,252 --> 00:20:54,072
"until justice has been passed."
292
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:56,152
You cheated?!
293
00:20:56,202 --> 00:20:59,142
Well, I may have moved one piece
when he wasn't looking.
294
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:01,112
Go, Dad!
295
00:21:01,162 --> 00:21:03,222
I can't believe you cheated!
296
00:21:03,272 --> 00:21:06,172
It means you and Mum
should have never got together,
297
00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:09,152
which means
I should never have been born.
298
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:12,142
No wonder I've never felt like
a real vampire.
299
00:21:12,192 --> 00:21:16,052
- I feel like a real vampire.
- Vladimir.
300
00:21:16,102 --> 00:21:19,252
It thaws my frozen heart
to hear you say such a thing.
301
00:21:20,052 --> 00:21:23,292
I mean, how can I prove
our family was meant to be?
302
00:21:24,092 --> 00:21:26,242
You could challenge
Chandu to a rematch...
303
00:21:30,142 --> 00:21:32,072
or not.
304
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:35,202
(He sniffs)
305
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:38,202
Smell that? Like rotting flesh.
306
00:21:38,252 --> 00:21:40,082
Evening.
307
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,062
Mr Perkins always smells like that.
308
00:21:42,112 --> 00:21:45,292
No. The undead have walked this way.
309
00:21:46,092 --> 00:21:47,242
Come on! Follow your nose.
310
00:21:49,282 --> 00:21:52,132
A rematch? Good idea, Chloe.
311
00:21:52,182 --> 00:21:55,132
Unless, of course, Dad loses
and has to be mummified!
312
00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:57,212
Haven't you got any faith in him?
313
00:21:57,262 --> 00:21:59,282
How does the little horsey
move again?
314
00:22:01,192 --> 00:22:03,202
OK, I've got a plan.
315
00:22:03,252 --> 00:22:06,232
Who do we know
that's really good at chess,
316
00:22:06,282 --> 00:22:09,292
who's a really good friend of yours,
317
00:22:10,092 --> 00:22:12,052
who's related to me?
318
00:22:17,082 --> 00:22:20,222
How your family's lasted this long
I'll never know.
319
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:24,222
Although I have to say
when Robin is talking about vampires,
320
00:22:24,272 --> 00:22:27,072
at least he's paying attention.
321
00:22:27,122 --> 00:22:30,132
In some classes,
it's as if he's not even there.
322
00:22:32,062 --> 00:22:34,222
- Robin, is this true?
- Robin?!
323
00:22:37,252 --> 00:22:41,142
Vlad, let me go! Mum's threatening
to send me to Happy Camp!
324
00:22:41,192 --> 00:22:45,282
OK, quick update: ugly zombie dude is
about to whip Vlad's cheating dad at chess.
325
00:22:46,082 --> 00:22:48,102
If he does,
guess who gets mummified?
326
00:22:53,112 --> 00:22:56,062
Wow, this guy's good.
327
00:22:56,112 --> 00:22:59,282
His opening is genius! Have you asked
him if he wants to join chess club?
328
00:23:00,082 --> 00:23:02,142
All right, all right,
don't rush me!
329
00:23:06,072 --> 00:23:07,172
Ah.
330
00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:12,162
There. What do you think about that?
331
00:23:12,212 --> 00:23:16,192
(Chandu laughs)
Laughing? Why is he laughing?
332
00:23:21,212 --> 00:23:23,202
That's checkmate.
333
00:23:23,252 --> 00:23:27,272
What?! Well, it can't be!
334
00:23:28,072 --> 00:23:31,252
Surely we can talk about this.
After all, you're a reasonable...
335
00:23:32,052 --> 00:23:33,242
Stake-wielding zombie!
336
00:23:33,292 --> 00:23:35,232
- Stake her, not me.
- Dad!
337
00:23:35,282 --> 00:23:38,102
Robin, there must be
something we can do!
338
00:23:38,152 --> 00:23:40,242
It's checkmate!
There is no way out!
339
00:23:40,292 --> 00:23:43,212
Chandu, please.
Think of the mess!
340
00:23:43,262 --> 00:23:46,102
- No!
- Wait! Look!
341
00:23:46,152 --> 00:23:48,242
How many black knights
are on the board?
342
00:23:48,292 --> 00:23:50,232
One, two...
343
00:23:51,252 --> 00:23:54,102
- Three.
- Quick, Vlad! Check his pockets!
344
00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:08,142
Spare pieces. No wonder
you couldn't beat him.
345
00:24:08,192 --> 00:24:10,242
Of all the scheming, conniv. J
346
00:24:10,292 --> 00:24:14,152
- Actually, why didn't I think of that?
- But this means you've won.
347
00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:18,162
And Chandu faces
death by mummification.
348
00:24:18,212 --> 00:24:19,222
Again.
349
00:24:19,272 --> 00:24:22,232
I don't know.
It seems a bit unfair.
350
00:24:22,282 --> 00:24:25,182
Especially when your dad cheated
in the first place.
351
00:24:25,232 --> 00:24:29,092
And kept him locked in a coffin
for 300 years.
352
00:24:29,142 --> 00:24:32,092
All right, all right!
Enough with the guilt-trip!
353
00:24:32,142 --> 00:24:35,062
Chandu, let's... let's not.
354
00:24:35,112 --> 00:24:38,252
- Let's just call it quits.
- Nice one, Dad.
355
00:24:39,052 --> 00:24:42,142
Besides, I have bigger fish to fry.
356
00:24:49,102 --> 00:24:51,142
We've got him, son.
You remember the plan?
357
00:24:51,192 --> 00:24:53,232
I open the door,
you shine the torch in his face.
358
00:24:53,282 --> 00:24:58,052
Then we watch him melt or vaporise.
I wonder what he'll do?
359
00:24:58,102 --> 00:25:00,242
Ask why you're shining
a torch in his face.
360
00:25:02,262 --> 00:25:05,102
Can we please see
Mr Van Helsing?
361
00:25:05,152 --> 00:25:07,222
I've waited all night
to bite some sense into him!
362
00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:08,292
What?!
363
00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:11,052
Quick! Dad!
364
00:25:11,102 --> 00:25:12,082
Argghhhh!
365
00:25:13,192 --> 00:25:15,142
Arghhhh!
366
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:23,122
Get off of me!
367
00:25:25,262 --> 00:25:29,142
Honestly, it's pathetic to be afraid
of the dark at your age.
368
00:25:33,152 --> 00:25:35,202
Hi, guys.
369
00:25:35,252 --> 00:25:37,082
Bye, guys.
370
00:25:39,072 --> 00:25:40,272
What? What?
371
00:25:41,072 --> 00:25:43,062
I thought you came here
to support me.
372
00:25:43,112 --> 00:25:46,112
But all the time you were
planning to bite Mr Van Helsing!
373
00:25:46,162 --> 00:25:50,182
- He insulted the family name.
- You don't care about us at all.
374
00:25:50,232 --> 00:25:53,062
That is not true!
375
00:25:53,282 --> 00:25:55,062
Robin Branagh!
376
00:25:55,112 --> 00:25:57,282
You can run but you can't hide!
377
00:25:58,082 --> 00:26:02,132
Oh, great. Guess who's spending
all summer at Happy Camp?
378
00:26:02,182 --> 00:26:06,222
OK, Dad, now's the time to prove
you really care.
379
00:26:06,272 --> 00:26:08,062
Robin!
380
00:26:08,112 --> 00:26:11,192
A masterly move, Robin.
We must play again sometime.
381
00:26:12,182 --> 00:26:16,142
Ah, Mr and Mrs Branagh.
What a pleasure to lose at chess
382
00:26:16,192 --> 00:26:20,082
to such a charming,
radiant young man.
383
00:26:20,132 --> 00:26:22,052
- Happy.
- Hmm?
384
00:26:22,102 --> 00:26:24,082
Oh, happy. Happy.
Happy young man.
385
00:26:24,132 --> 00:26:25,222
- Really?
- Really?
386
00:26:25,272 --> 00:26:29,092
And, er, what do you say
about Happy Camp, Dad?
387
00:26:29,142 --> 00:26:34,092
Oh, it sounds like the cruellest,
most barbaric place on Earth.
388
00:26:34,142 --> 00:26:37,242
Does it? Oh, dear. I don't want
my Robin going anywhere barbaric.
389
00:26:37,292 --> 00:26:41,172
Maybe we can sort out his morbid
fascination some other way.
390
00:26:42,232 --> 00:26:44,152
Come on, sunshine!
391
00:26:46,232 --> 00:26:51,142
Quick, Master! I tried to stop them,
but they're a relentless mob!
392
00:26:51,192 --> 00:26:54,102
- There he is. He's famous!
- No pictures! No pictures!
393
00:26:54,152 --> 00:26:57,152
- Renfield, start the hearse!
- Yes, Master.
394
00:26:59,072 --> 00:27:02,122
Still can't believe Dad
only came to parents' evening
395
00:27:02,172 --> 00:27:04,192
to get his revenge
on Mr Van Helsing.
396
00:27:04,242 --> 00:27:08,182
Stop whinging. At least he didn't
find out he was a slayer.
397
00:27:08,232 --> 00:27:11,102
I suppose I've got to accept it.
398
00:27:11,152 --> 00:27:13,202
Our family's just not normal.
399
00:27:13,252 --> 00:27:16,192
Who'd want to be normal?
I mean, look at him!
400
00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:21,272
Checkmate!
401
00:27:22,072 --> 00:27:25,182
S Who's the loser?!
Who's the loser?!
402
00:27:25,232 --> 00:27:29,152
J" Go loser, go loser, go loser! S
403
00:27:32,222 --> 00:27:34,152
Fair point.
404
00:27:34,202 --> 00:27:38,752
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