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This is the story of two sisters,
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00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:08,307
Jessica Tate
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00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:10,309
and Mary Campbell.
4
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,746
These are the Tates,
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00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,716
and these are the Campbells.
6
00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:20,152
And this is Soap.
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00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:53,519
Well, Dad, this is it,
it's the big day.
8
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,523
The joining of two souls,
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two destinies, two families.
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00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:02,961
In a little while your little
girl will forever have my name.
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Your family will be my family.
12
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:06,965
Isn't it amazing, Dad?
13
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:10,969
I mean, we met in prison,
we escaped together
14
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:13,472
and I held you hostage
in this very house.
15
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:14,973
Then I met Eunice.
16
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Course it was just
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all passion at first,
you know, Dad.
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00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:18,477
Heh, heh.
19
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:20,980
Just that blinding, crazy lust.
20
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,483
That wild animal frenzy,
21
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:26,485
that torrid, lusty, passionate,
22
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passionate, lusty love.
23
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I hate you!
24
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,489
I hate you!
25
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,490
Die!
26
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,992
Come on, Dad.
Dad, come on.
27
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:35,494
Get a hold of yourself.
28
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:36,495
Hey, Dutch, you all right?
29
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:37,496
Of course.
30
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,998
This is the happiest
day of my life.
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00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:43,002
The joining of two souls,
two families.
32
00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,507
Why so glum, Colonel?
33
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My princess is marrying Dutch.
34
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:52,945
Dutch?
35
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,348
Marrying Dutch
is the most disgraceful thing
36
00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:57,216
I ever heard.
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00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,151
It is?
38
00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:01,153
Oh, thank you, Major, thank you.
39
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,155
Marrying Dutch.
40
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,591
Why, in my day
the bride's father
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00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:07,527
paid for the whole thing.
42
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,464
You... you ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
43
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,465
Major...
44
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,466
Never touch me again,
45
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:17,470
you cheap little skinflint!
46
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,477
Psst.
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00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:26,879
Psst.
48
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,281
Daddy.
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00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:30,716
Here.
Oh!
50
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,218
Princess.
51
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:34,720
Oh, God!
52
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:37,222
You look beautiful.
53
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:40,225
My little girl,
look at you, all grown up.
54
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,727
Daddy, I'm not supposed
to be down here,
55
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,196
but I just wanted
you to know how happy I am
56
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,565
that you gave us your consent.
57
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,567
And I also want you
to know, Daddy,
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00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:52,037
that no man could ever
totally take me away from you,
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00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:53,906
I'll always be your little girl.
60
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,277
All I want
is your happiness, honey.
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00:02:58,278 --> 00:02:59,778
That's all I've ever wanted.
62
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:02,781
Now, Daddy, I know
it's difficult for you,
63
00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,250
but please try
and get along with Dutch.
64
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:08,754
He adores you, Daddy.
He thinks the world of you.
65
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,756
All he wants to do
is please you.
66
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:11,757
Try, Daddy.
67
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,759
I'll try, so help me.
68
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,761
Thank you.
69
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,265
See you later.
70
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,769
Finished up your drink, Dad?
71
00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:30,776
Hi.
Hi.
72
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:32,779
How do I look?
73
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,218
Uh, what?
74
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,719
I've cried so much today,
75
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,155
I think my mascara
is running into my pantyhose.
76
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,057
I don't blame it.
77
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,427
Are you Eunice's father?
78
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,329
Oh, yes. Yes.
79
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,331
I'm Annie Selig, maid of honor.
80
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:53,332
Annie!
81
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,834
You were Eunice's
roommate in college.
82
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:57,336
Yes, you remember me.
83
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,837
I remember you.
84
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:01,173
I don't remember you like that.
85
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,175
It's been a long time.
86
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,144
Yes, it has.
87
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:06,612
Well, I...
88
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,447
I guess I should get
back to the bride.
89
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,415
Why?
Uh...
90
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,850
I beg your pardon?
91
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:12,851
Oh!
92
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,853
Why, yes, yes, you should,
of course, yes.
93
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:17,823
She's so lovely,
she looks a lot like you.
94
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,325
Well, except for the gown.
95
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,828
You think I'm lovely?
96
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,131
I think you're
extremely handsome.
97
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:28,534
Well, I better be going.
I'll see you later.
98
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:31,904
When?
99
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:38,910
Hello, dear.
100
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,412
Come on, Chester.
101
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,914
Chester, Burt and Danny
were supposed to go
102
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:44,917
and get the minister
an hour ago.
103
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,419
Hey, everybody.
104
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,920
Oh, you're here, you're here!
105
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:50,422
Thank God!
106
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,424
Uh, so to speak.
107
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:53,925
I'll tell Eunice you're here.
108
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,427
Billy, Billy, come on, please.
109
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:56,928
Come on, help Mother.
110
00:04:56,929 --> 00:04:57,929
Where have you been?
111
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,931
We're starting any minute.
112
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,933
We had to get the minister.
113
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:02,934
Chester please, huh?
114
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:03,935
We were stuck at a funeral.
115
00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:05,437
Oh, took forever.
116
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:06,938
Some lady threw herself
on the coffin.
117
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:08,407
It was already in the ground.
118
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:10,376
Now, I mean, honestly.
119
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:13,345
This is Reverend, uh...
120
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,846
I don't know,
so-and-so here.
121
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,348
Excuse me, listen...
122
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:17,349
Hey, Dutch, listen, I know now
123
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:19,851
that you're gonna be
relatively happy.
124
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Come here.
125
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,355
Here.
Right.
126
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:26,358
Guys, I have another
funeral in half an hour.
127
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:29,728
Baptists, could take all week.
So could we get on with this?
128
00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:30,729
Oh, uh, yes.
129
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:31,730
Right away, Father.
130
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,231
I'm not a Father.
131
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:34,733
Priests are Fathers.
I'm a reverend,
132
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,668
so you don't get
to call me Father.
133
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,670
I think the collar
sort of threw him.
134
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:41,640
Very astute.
135
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:43,643
And what are you,
a nuclear physicist?
136
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,479
He's the groom.
137
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,482
Lucky girl.
Come on.
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00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,484
Chester, for heaven's sake,
139
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:53,485
are we ready?
140
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:54,987
I guess we have to be, Jessie.
141
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:56,488
All right.
142
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:57,489
Billy, give me your arm.
143
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:58,990
Here we go.
144
00:05:58,991 --> 00:05:59,992
Okay.
145
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,504
Daddy!
146
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,006
Sorry.
147
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:51,943
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
148
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:53,945
in the sight of God
to join this man
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00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,947
and this woman
in holy matrimony,
150
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:57,949
If any person
can show just cause
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00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,951
why they may not lawfully
be joined together,
152
00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:03,956
let him now speak or else
hereafter hold his peace.
153
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,792
Pool house.
154
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,002
Are you through?
155
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,872
Oh, excuse me.
156
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:22,374
Do you, Eunice, take this man
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00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,875
to be your lawful
wedded husband?
158
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,310
I do.
159
00:07:26,272 --> 00:07:27,312
Do you, Dutch, take Eunice
160
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,314
to be your lawful wedded wife?
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00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:30,249
I do.
162
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,683
Good.
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00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,151
By the authority vested in me
164
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:35,053
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
165
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,054
Good day.
166
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:39,926
Kiss the bride.
167
00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:44,930
Aww.
168
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,933
Congratulations, Dutch.
169
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,435
Hey, hey, hey.
170
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:51,937
I'm sorry we're late, everybody.
171
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,438
Late? What,
are you crazy?
172
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,439
You missed the whole thing.
173
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,440
Where you been?
174
00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,409
You mean, you didn't hear?
175
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,877
What, hear want?
176
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:01,279
Uh, Bob, maybe this
is not the best time.
177
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,747
You didn't... you didn't
see today's paper?
178
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:03,748
Bob...
179
00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:04,749
Oh, show him the paper.
180
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,218
Uh...
181
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,219
Dad, listen, I'll...
182
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,720
I'll show the paper later.
183
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:09,721
Give me the paper here,
184
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:10,722
What's this here?
185
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:11,724
What's going on?
186
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,727
Burt!
187
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:16,729
Burt!
188
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,664
He did it.
189
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,601
This isn't what it looks like.
190
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,102
What's going on?
191
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:26,104
Come on, Mare, nothing.
There's nothing.
192
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,106
Dan, tell her.
193
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:28,608
Right.
194
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,110
You see, it's nothing.
195
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,112
Those girls.
What does this mean?
196
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:35,614
Who are those girls?
197
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:36,615
Girls?
198
00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:38,618
Girls... She thinks...
she thinks they're girls.
199
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,120
Go on, tell her.
200
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:43,622
Right.
201
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:46,124
You see, Mary, there's
always an explanation.
202
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,125
Oh, boy!
Let's see this here.
203
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,627
Oh, it's time to go here.
204
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:49,628
Uh, Dutch, Eunice,
205
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:52,631
uh, all the happiness...
206
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:54,633
Um, Mare, I love you very much,
207
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,134
buy yourself some clothes here.
208
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:57,636
Now, uh, Dan?
Right.
209
00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:58,637
There you go.
210
00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:00,138
There's a little
scandal in there.
211
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:01,139
It's no big deal.
212
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,641
I mean, scandals
happen everyday.
213
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:05,143
I'm telling you, there's
nothing to worry about.
214
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:06,144
People don't remember,
215
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,646
they don't read
the papers anymore.
216
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,147
Believe me, nobody
knows, nobody cares.
217
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,650
Trust me, I guarantee this.
218
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,151
Be back in a little while.
219
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,152
That's him!
220
00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:15,153
Get him, get him!
221
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,364
See?
222
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:27,366
And you were worried.
223
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,138
Mare, I'm telling you.
Please, Mare.
224
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,139
I'm telling that we...
225
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,640
We were unconscious
the whole time.
226
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,142
We didn't even know we were in
227
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:39,144
one of those adult motels
with six gorgeous girls
228
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,645
till we saw
those pictures later.
229
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:43,114
Burt, please don't
explain it again.
230
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:44,049
I believe you.
231
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,050
Mare, come on.
You do?
232
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,051
I do.
233
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:48,053
Then, uh, you're not really mad?
234
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:49,521
Of course not.
235
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:53,960
Well, good.
236
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,962
I didn't enjoy it, Mare.
I'm telling you.
237
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,463
I know in the pictures
we're laughing,
238
00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:01,433
I can't explain that laughing,
the laughing I don't know about.
239
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,934
Maybe they gave us laughing gas.
240
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,436
Stop explaining it!
241
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,937
I believe you!
242
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,440
Can't you believe me
when I say that I believe you?
243
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,941
Yeah, sure, Mare,
I-I believe you.
244
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,443
But why are you upset?
245
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,445
I'm not upset!
246
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:14,914
Oh, that's good.
247
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,849
Maybe you're right.
I mean,
248
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,851
what's one little
newspaper article, right?
249
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,353
I mean, people forget
the other time...
250
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,821
I'm sure they're setting up type
251
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,789
for today's new scandal
over there.
252
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,727
Hello?
253
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,763
Yeah, this is Sheriff Campbell.
254
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:34,766
Hey, wait a minute, lady.
255
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,768
Wait, I was unconscious
the whole time.
256
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,269
I... Wait a minute.
Wait. Hey, miss,
257
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,771
What is your name, anyway?
258
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:42,775
I refuse to justify my life
to a total stranger.
259
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:44,776
Hung up.
260
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,277
That's it?
261
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:48,279
That's what's gonna
keep happening?
262
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,781
No, Mare.
Come on. Please.
263
00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:52,283
How many crackpots can there be
in one little town like this,
264
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,845
who have nothing
better to do than to...
265
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,589
Hello?
266
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,992
No, the pervert
isn't in right now.
267
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,964
Perhaps I could help you.
This is the pervert's wife.
268
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:09,968
Mare, I'm sorry.
269
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,469
I'm sorry I told Tibbs off
270
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:12,904
and brought all this
down on our heads.
271
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,406
I'm not mad at you for that.
272
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,408
I am proud of you for that.
273
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,909
And you still love me?
274
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:18,910
Of course.
275
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:21,413
Oh, hey, Mare.
Don't touch me, Burt.
276
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,887
I'm in a very bad mood
over here.
277
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:31,309
He hung up.
Why does everybody hang up?
278
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:33,792
Boy, people.
279
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,293
Boy, they never give you a call
280
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:36,795
to give you a pat
on the back, huh?
281
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:38,797
I mean, you could have
a well-trimmed lawn for years,
282
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:41,267
"Hey, love your lawn."
283
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,104
All right, Mare.
284
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,605
I'll take care of the calls.
285
00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:48,607
Okay, Mare. Mare.
286
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,347
Oh, Mare, I can't undo
the damage I've done.
287
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:57,849
At least I can move out.
I'm sorry.
288
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:01,853
Burt, stop, you idiot.
I don't want you to move out.
289
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:02,854
You don't?
290
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:03,856
Of course not.
291
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,295
I hear the words, but, you know,
I'm not really convinced here.
292
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,798
Why didn't you mention this
to me when it happened?
293
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:16,301
Why didn't you mention
the moment that that man
294
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,303
started blackmailing you?
I am upset with you
295
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,305
because you didn't
share this with me.
296
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,307
I'm upset because you've
been going through this
297
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,309
all by yourself,
with no one to help you.
298
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,811
Mare, I didn't tell you because
I was afraid you'd get mad.
299
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,313
Now you're mad
because I told you.
300
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,815
You think that I am the type
who gets into a huff
301
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,784
just because her husband
is found in bed
302
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,219
with six nude girls?
303
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:40,525
Give me more credit than that.
304
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:43,528
Mare, I was afraid
that you'd leave me,
305
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,029
and I couldn't
stand that thought
306
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:49,467
because I'm so crazy about you
and you're so wonderful.
307
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,705
Seems reasonable.
308
00:12:57,643 --> 00:13:00,645
All right, Mare, Mare, Mare.
309
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,150
Same to you!
310
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,653
Oh, Mare.
311
00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:11,990
Mare, I can't put you
through this anymore,
312
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:12,991
I'm gonna just resign.
313
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,460
No, you're not.
314
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:20,465
You're staying in office
till they drag you out of it.
315
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,106
We're going to prove
that you were framed.
316
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,937
Together, we can do anything.
317
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:28,373
You betcha, toots,
we can do anything.
318
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,875
You and me here,
come on, we'll...
319
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,877
we'll just to expose Tibbs
as the little rotten crook
320
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,379
little blackmailer he is, Mare.
321
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,380
We'll fix him, eh?
322
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:36,882
We'll fix his wagon for good.
323
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:39,885
How?
324
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:00,238
Oh, Saunders,
we're not all here.
325
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:02,641
I've been aware of that
since my first day.
326
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,043
Oh, boy!
327
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:06,044
That looks real good.
328
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:08,479
Next time, why don't you just
open your mouth
329
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,416
and I'll lob one in.
330
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,885
Mother, how can you
just let that woman
331
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:15,320
move into the pool house
with Daddy?
332
00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:17,822
Darling, as far
as I'm concerned,
333
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:20,325
Daddy is just a nice tenant
who does the gardening
334
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,327
and fishes leaves
out of the pool.
335
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,828
But, to invite her here
336
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,331
to eat off of our good china!
337
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,333
Eunice, we're still a family.
338
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:30,335
I mean, just because
things changed doesn't mean
339
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,337
that we're not a family anymore.
340
00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:34,339
I mean, why should Billy
give up a father
341
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,342
just because I gave up
a husband?
342
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,843
Hi, everybody!
343
00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:40,345
You all know Annie, of course.
344
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:41,346
Hi!
345
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,349
Hello.
Hi.
346
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:45,817
Hi!
347
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,821
Thanks for asking us over
to the big house, Jess.
348
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,824
It's such a nice change
from the card table
349
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:53,826
at the pool house.
350
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:58,229
Oh, Mrs. Tate,
I love this house.
351
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,198
Sorry, it doesn't go with Daddy.
352
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,568
Well, look who's here.
353
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,536
Major...
354
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,539
Tardiness at mess
is never tolerated!
355
00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:15,013
So, his little way
of saying "howdy."
356
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:15,914
Hey, Annie long time no see,
357
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,782
What's new?
358
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:19,284
Oh, not much.
What's new with you?
359
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:20,653
Not much, not much.
360
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:23,988
Oh, I married.
361
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,957
I think Annie knows that, Dutch.
362
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,327
She was the maid of honor
at our wedding.
363
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,063
Yes, and you looked lovely
in your gown, dear.
364
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:33,531
Oh, how could you tell?
365
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:35,433
She was out of it
in about 10 seconds.
366
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,904
Well, what's wrong, Eunice?
367
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,873
Did I break your old record?
368
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:50,615
Pool filter
in good working order, Chester?
369
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,551
Crackerjack, Jess.
370
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,421
There's no need
to be jealous, Eunice.
371
00:15:56,422 --> 00:16:00,258
Jealous? I'd say the shoe's
on the other foot, fatty.
372
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:01,659
"Fatty"?
373
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,696
You are calling me "fatty"?
374
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,597
In college, we used to have
to grease her hips
375
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:08,099
to get her through the doors.
376
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,601
Why, you little...
377
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,103
Girls.
378
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,506
No choking at the table.
379
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,977
Everyone sit down.
380
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,479
I want to make
a little announcement.
381
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,449
I have been conferring
with Dr. Hill,
382
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,851
and I have totally accepted
what he had to say,
383
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,287
and I certainly hope
that you can.
384
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,756
But, I'm afraid I am going
to be leaving you soon.
385
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:33,191
Oh no!
386
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:35,694
Why you?
387
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:39,697
Dutch. Dutch,
I'm just going away
388
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,666
on get-well trip,
that's all.
389
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,101
Oh!
390
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:48,606
Dr. Hill says that
I need a little rest
391
00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:50,108
and for some reason, he thinks
392
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,110
there's too much stress
in this house.
393
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:55,113
What a peculiar notion.
394
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,048
So he's prescribed
a little vacation
395
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,550
to one of those tiny islands
in the ocean.
396
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:00,551
Which one?
397
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:01,552
The Atlantic.
398
00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:02,987
No, no.
399
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:03,988
I mean, which island?
400
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:05,990
Oh, that I don't know.
But on the map
401
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:08,993
it's the third dot in
from the left.
402
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,995
Oh, that would be Malaguay.
That's it.
403
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:13,998
Malaguay!
But I don't know if I should go.
404
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,433
Why not, Jess?
405
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:16,434
Well, I'll worry.
406
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,370
Suppose Leslie tried
to kill Billy again?
407
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:20,371
No, she won't.
408
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:21,873
Besides, she always misses.
409
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,376
She always misses you.
410
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,879
Look, Mom, I've got Dad.
411
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:28,880
Right.
412
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,248
And Dutch.
Right.
413
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,249
And Saunders.
414
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,251
Pass.
415
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:37,755
Anyway, I'm never alone.
They watch me all the time.
416
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:40,258
I can't even go the bathroom
without somebody going with me.
417
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,259
Oh, Billy.
418
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,194
You get used to that
in prison after a while.
419
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:44,629
I mean, the toilet's
right out there
420
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,631
practically in the middle
of the cell.
421
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:49,134
Thank you for sharing that.
422
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,503
After a while,
you just keep on gabbing
423
00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:53,971
or playing cards, right Dad?
424
00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:56,341
Let it go, Dutch.
425
00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,344
Now, I want all of you
to try to get along
426
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:01,813
while I'm gone.
427
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,815
You should take care
of each other,
428
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:07,052
and be nice to each other,
Eunice.
429
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:09,454
All right, Mother.
430
00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,390
I'm sorry, Annie.
431
00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:15,326
I guess I was just so...
432
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,195
so...
433
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:20,064
So full of hate, so...
434
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:21,532
And...
435
00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:24,402
and hating and just so...
436
00:18:25,804 --> 00:18:27,739
so full of hate.
437
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:36,514
Be sweet... be sweet girls.
No, no.
438
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:13,417
Psst, psst.
439
00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:24,963
Red.
440
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:27,466
Hey, Red!
441
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:30,869
Hi.
442
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:35,273
Red.
443
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,208
Would you come here please?
444
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:37,208
I need your help.
445
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,481
Is something wrong?
446
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:45,850
Would you scratch
my nose, please?
447
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,286
I beg your pardon?
448
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,221
I am chained to the seat.
449
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:53,358
You don't find
the seatbelt enough?
450
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:56,761
Please, scratch my nose.
451
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:59,263
Oh, yes.
Well, of course.
452
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,264
Ay, que bueno.
453
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:01,766
Ah, mm, gracias.
454
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,768
Gracias.
455
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,269
Red, please, before you go,
456
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:07,171
could you do me
one more favor, please?
457
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:08,673
Mm-hm.
458
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:11,043
I have a key in my mouth.
459
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,380
Now, I'm going to
spit it into your hand.
460
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,382
Oh, no, I don't think I...
461
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,384
Please, please, please,
you must help me.
462
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,286
The fate of the free world
depends upon this!
463
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,187
The whole world?
464
00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:24,655
Si.
465
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:29,594
Well, then why don't you
just spit it in this cup.
466
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,300
Who are you?
467
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:40,104
Carlos Marcello David
Escobar Rodriguez Valdez.
468
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:41,939
Also known as El Puerco.
469
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:42,940
El Puerco?
470
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,409
The Pig.
471
00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:46,377
I see.
472
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:47,378
I am a guerrilla.
473
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:50,281
Well, you are kind of
large and hairy,
474
00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:52,283
but I'd hardly say a gorilla!
475
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,151
No, I am leader
of the resistance
476
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:55,152
of the land to which you go.
477
00:20:55,153 --> 00:20:56,587
Oh!
478
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,089
I fleed, then I went to Miami,
479
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,092
and yesterday
I was captured in Wolfies.
480
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,594
They bring me back now
to be executed.
481
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:04,595
Why?
482
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,998
Because they are afraid
of El Puerco.
483
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,499
Because I fight to destroy
484
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,501
the dirty, filthy,
disgusting communism.
485
00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:12,003
Because I give hope
to democracy,
486
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,006
the free world,
and united fruit.
487
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:16,875
Red.
488
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,376
You must free me.
489
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:19,877
Take the key and open my chains.
490
00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:22,280
Please.
I will do the rest.
491
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,748
Please, Red.
492
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,650
If not for democracy,
493
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:27,052
then for my life.
494
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:29,421
Okay.
495
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:34,925
Red, gracias.
496
00:21:34,926 --> 00:21:36,427
Now, you must go back
to your seat
497
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:37,928
and pretend that you
do not know me.
498
00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:38,929
Sure, okay.
499
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:39,931
It's very important.
500
00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:43,435
Psst, psst.
501
00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:52,443
I'll get you for this!
502
00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:54,945
I'll get you for this.
503
00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:56,447
You dropped your thing.
504
00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:57,449
Gracias.
505
00:22:01,953 --> 00:22:02,953
Sit down!
506
00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:04,455
Hands up!
507
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:11,463
Red, you are an angel.
508
00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:13,964
Yes.
509
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,399
Do you know,
when the plane lands,
510
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,301
my men are going to meet us?
511
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:19,303
Oh, I wonder, would they mind
512
00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:20,805
dropping me at my hotel?
513
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,607
Red, I'm afraid
that is impossible.
514
00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:24,975
Why?
515
00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:26,711
Well, because, you see,
everyone on this plane
516
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:29,146
has witnessed your act
of great courage.
517
00:22:29,147 --> 00:22:31,149
Ol?!
518
00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:33,651
Silencio!
519
00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:38,122
You see, now they think
you are one of us.
520
00:22:38,123 --> 00:22:39,090
Oh.
521
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:42,593
I'm sorry, Red,
but I am afraid now
522
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:44,429
you must come with me.
523
00:22:56,074 --> 00:22:59,076
Now that Chester is
living with Annie in the pool house,
524
00:22:59,077 --> 00:23:01,545
will Eunice continueto welcome her into the family,
525
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,981
or will she feel a twinge ofbitterness from time to time?
526
00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:05,983
Now that the porno picturesare published,
527
00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:07,985
and Burt and Dannyhave been railroaded,
528
00:23:07,986 --> 00:23:09,987
will the good citizensof Dunn's River
529
00:23:09,988 --> 00:23:11,989
run our boys out of townon a rail?
530
00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:13,991
And now that Jessica's vacationhas been cut short
531
00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:15,493
by the revolutionaries,
532
00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:18,362
will she eversee her family again?
533
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:20,364
These questions and many otherswill be answered
534
00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:23,735
in the next episode of SOAP.
535
00:23:23,785 --> 00:23:28,335
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