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1
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[♪ Spooky Theremin plays ]
2
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Hey, Hank and Wanda
3
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are coming over to my place tonight
4
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to watch scary movies.
5
00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:08,040
You should come too.
6
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:09,908
Watching scary movies on Halloween.
7
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That's a bit "on the nose," isn't it?
8
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Not really.
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Watching the movie "Halloween" on Halloween,
10
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while wearing a pointy witch's hat
11
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and a goalie mask,
12
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:19,785
on Friday the 13th,
13
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:20,586
that's too much.
14
00:00:20,853 --> 00:00:24,056
Not sure how October 31st
falls on Friday the 13th,
15
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,924
but yeah, I'll come over.
16
00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:28,326
Brent, I need to buy some insurance.
17
00:00:28,327 --> 00:00:30,730
Okie doke, that'll be $20.
18
00:00:32,598 --> 00:00:33,932
You sell insurance?
19
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,000
Yeah, Halloween insurance.
20
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It's my own invention.
21
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:37,936
If someone eggs or TPs
22
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or otherwise vandalizes your property,
23
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I get it cleaned up, no questions asked.
24
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I usually take in
25
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about 500 or 600 bucks every year.
26
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Pretty ingenious, right?
27
00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:46,745
It is.
28
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:47,547
You know, technically,
29
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you're turning tricks
for money on Halloween.
30
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Had to go and make it filthy.
31
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:53,151
Okay, jackass,
32
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sell me some of your stupid rip-off
33
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Halloween insurance.
34
00:00:56,889 --> 00:00:57,956
Really?
35
00:00:57,957 --> 00:00:59,558
You've never bought
insurance from me before.
36
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All righty, then. That'll be 60 bucks.
37
00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:03,028
60?!
38
00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:04,896
It's supposed to be 20!
39
00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:05,964
20 for regular folks,
40
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:08,100
who don't spend the entire calendar year
41
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pissing people off.
42
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You're a high risk,
43
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so I need to charge a higher premium.
44
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That's not fair!
45
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If it helps, you can think of it
46
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as a "crusty crank karma clause."
47
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How would that help?
48
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♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪
49
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[♪ spooky Theremin plays ]
50
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♪ Look closer, baby you're so wrong ♪
51
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[♪♪♪]
52
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Ta-da!
53
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Behold my masterpiece!
54
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I behold,
55
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and what is it?
56
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Seriously?
57
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This is a pitch-perfect replica
58
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,869
of Dr. Armordillo's costume.
59
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I spent months hand-crafting it.
60
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I see,
61
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and who is Mr. Armordillo?
62
00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:51,076
Dr. Armordillo.
63
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He's only my favourite comic book superhero,
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who didn't spend eight years
in medical school
65
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,817
to have some rookie cop call him "Mister."
66
00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:01,486
I've never heard
of your obscure nerd heroes.
67
00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:03,088
You never heard of Spider-Man
68
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:04,156
until Tobey Maguire.
69
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:07,092
I never heard of Tobey Maguire
until Spider-Man.
70
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,426
Touché.
71
00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,494
I can't wait to put this on
72
00:02:09,495 --> 00:02:12,697
and patrol the town
as a real live superhero.
73
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I don't think it's fair
74
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that every year you patrol
in a fun Halloween costume,
75
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but I have to stay in uniform.
76
00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,239
It's not my fault regulations dictate
77
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one officer must remain in standard uniform,
78
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and this costume took me months to build.
79
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Custom airbrushed panels,
80
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interlocking canvas straps,
81
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hinged faceplate.
82
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I thought of everything!
[chuckling gleefully]
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[wailing] Oh no!
84
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Did you think to measure yourself?
85
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How could I be so stupid?
86
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Now no one will appreciate my artistry.
87
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I appreciate the irony.
88
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All that work,
89
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and your scales aren't to scale?
90
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Wait.
91
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,671
You know who this might fit?
92
00:02:52,738 --> 00:02:54,606
I hate you.
93
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:56,741
[♪♪♪]
94
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[doorbell ringing]
95
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Hi! Sorry, am I late?
96
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Nope, right on time.
97
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Hey, Hank. Hey, Wanda.
98
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,216
[yelping]
99
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Geez, you scared me.
100
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:08,220
I didn't know we were
supposed to wear costumes.
101
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,287
We're not.
102
00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:11,690
Hank dresses up every year as Frankenstein.
103
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Hank-enstein.
104
00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:14,626
Technically, Hankenstein's monster,
105
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but yeah, yeah, I'm not hung up on that.
106
00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:17,830
What are you,
107
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some kind of serial killer?
108
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This isn't a costume.
109
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My pressure cooker popped
while I was making ravioli.
110
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Hell of a mess.
111
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And you just decided not to change?
112
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We're watching movies,
113
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not having crumpets with Dame Edna.
114
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Here's the knife I borrowed.
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[disembodied shriek]
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Ooh, spooky.
117
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Are you playing one of those
sound effect recordings?
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Actually, no.
119
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I'm not sure what that is.
120
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It's been happening for the past three days.
121
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And you haven't looked into it?
122
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Screams and such aren't that surprising
123
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in this house.
124
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Yeah, it's got a creepy history.
125
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History? What history?
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Hey, who wants a drink?
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[♪♪♪]
128
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I have to go to the bathroom.
129
00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:57,068
If any trick-or-treaters come to the door,
130
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you have to dole out the candy.
131
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:00,538
And be nice!
132
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I'm always nice!
133
00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:04,009
[doorbell rings]
134
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,877
Robot and a werewolf?
135
00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:07,212
That makes no sense.
136
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,546
They're natural enemies.
137
00:04:08,547 --> 00:04:10,949
If you're going out together,
you should be a team.
138
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[slam]
139
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I don't even know
140
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:14,686
what the hell you're supposed to be.
141
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Fail!
142
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You get one piece.
143
00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:17,356
[slam]
144
00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:19,492
Hippie.
145
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:22,427
How old are you, 16?
146
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And you're not even wearing costumes,
147
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unless you're going as a pack of jackasses.
148
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[slam]
149
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I said be nice!
150
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:30,702
I'm not giving candy
151
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to a bunch of 16-year-old punks.
152
00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:36,041
You pissed off teenagers?
153
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:36,842
On Halloween?
154
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,511
Why don't you just paint
"Please egg our house"
155
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:40,313
on the door?
156
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,180
We're in for it now.
157
00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:43,515
Way to go, Oscar.
158
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,736
I was nice to the bug-eyed thing.
159
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[♪♪♪]
160
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[grunting stiffly]
161
00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,391
This is ridiculous.
162
00:04:53,392 --> 00:04:54,993
I can barely move.
163
00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:57,929
Dr. Armordillo built his suit for battle,
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not comfort.
165
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His armor even curls into a protective ball,
166
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,268
like a real armadillo.
167
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:04,602
The guy's a genius.
168
00:05:04,603 --> 00:05:07,539
A genius would've built
a costume that breathes.
169
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[grunting and screaming in distress]
170
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I can't take it!
171
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I want out!
172
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:12,344
No!
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I worked too hard
174
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for this costume not to get shown off!
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Look, look, I'll make you a deal.
176
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Wear this costume this year,
177
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and next year I'll patrol in uniform,
178
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and you can dress up as anything you want.
179
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Anything?
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Hmm... okay.
181
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What will I go as?
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Well, something slutty, for sure,
183
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but what?
184
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,431
Hmm...
185
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What to slut?
186
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I'm uncomfortable with that word.
187
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Feels sexist,
188
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,372
but you've got all year to figure that out.
189
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Hop in, and let's roll.
190
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[grunting stiffly]
191
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This stupid costume
192
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doesn't bend at the waist.
193
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:51,316
I can't sit down.
194
00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:52,384
Huh...
195
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Must've forgot a few canvas hinges.
196
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[♪♪♪]
197
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Hey, quick question.
198
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What history are they talking about?
199
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,726
Oh, that history is all bunkum,
200
00:06:01,727 --> 00:06:03,061
and/or hogwash.
201
00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:03,863
It's bunkwash.
202
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:04,663
Hmm, the fact
203
00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,065
that you're using made-up words
to discount it
204
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,933
makes me wonder if it is.
205
00:06:08,934 --> 00:06:09,468
It's nothing.
206
00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:11,336
It's just gossip and fiddle-faddle.
207
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:12,404
It's gossy-foddle.
208
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,272
Well, let's give Lacey the lowdown,
209
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,874
and let her judge for herself.
210
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Shall we?
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We shall.
212
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This house,
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00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,678
the one we're in right now,
214
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was built by George and Julie Aberdeen.
215
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,750
They lived here for years,
216
00:06:25,751 --> 00:06:27,352
but in their retirement,
217
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they took in a renter...
218
00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:30,555
[Wanda] They rented a room
219
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,491
to a man who had just moved to town.
220
00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:34,293
A butcher,
221
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:35,627
looking for work.
222
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:36,694
Lotta folks say
223
00:06:36,695 --> 00:06:39,097
there was something odd about that man,
224
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,965
and maybe there was...
225
00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:43,101
[Hank] ...because soon after he moved in,
226
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,503
the Aberdeens went missing.
227
00:06:45,504 --> 00:06:48,440
Butcher said they had gone on vacation,
228
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,507
a cruise...
229
00:06:49,508 --> 00:06:50,575
[Wanda] ...but folks were suspicious,
230
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:54,312
because George and Julie
were always short on money.
231
00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:55,914
Rumours began to swirl
232
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,583
that Butcher had locked them
in the basement crawlspace,
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00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,718
where they starved to death.
234
00:07:00,719 --> 00:07:03,121
[Hank] Some say there are fingernail marks
235
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,722
on the crawlspace door,
236
00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:06,324
where they scratched in vain
237
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,193
to get out.
238
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:10,328
Okay, well, Happy Halloween,
239
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:11,930
and here's me leaving.
240
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,332
They're just trying to scare you.
241
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,201
It's all a bunch of hinkus dinkus
242
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:16,735
and malarkey.
243
00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:18,603
Wow, you have a lot of grampa words
244
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,405
to discredit stuff.
245
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,472
Hooey!
246
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:21,539
No one was ever locked
247
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:22,341
in the crawlspace,
248
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,408
and I'll prove it.
249
00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:25,009
We'll all go down and have a look,
250
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:28,213
and we will see exactly zero scratch marks.
251
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:29,280
Awesome!
252
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:30,082
Cool!
253
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,950
Yeah, let's go to the basement,
254
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,153
because that's never
how a horror movie starts.
255
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,288
[♪♪♪]
256
00:07:37,289 --> 00:07:39,691
Well, it took a bit of ingenuity,
257
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,292
but we got it figured out.
258
00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:42,627
[grunting]
259
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,563
Telling me to walk beside the car
260
00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:47,699
doesn't take a lot of ingenuity.
261
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,834
Well, you didn't come up with it.
262
00:07:49,835 --> 00:07:51,703
You really think those teenagers
263
00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:53,571
are going to attack our house?
264
00:07:53,572 --> 00:07:54,639
How would I know?
265
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,974
But definitely.
266
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,376
[panting] Rotten, no good...
267
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Relax.
268
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:00,778
At the end of the day,
269
00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:02,647
you got Halloween insurance,
270
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,316
so whatever happens, Brent will clean it up.
271
00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:06,384
Sure.
272
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:08,786
But we should still keep a look-out.
273
00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:11,723
Not fair for Brent
to have to do a buncha work
274
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,324
because of some stupid kids.
275
00:08:13,325 --> 00:08:15,994
It's not like you to care about your son.
276
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:16,795
How dare you?!
277
00:08:17,062 --> 00:08:19,464
My dear boy and I have an unshakeable bond
278
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:20,532
that could never be...
279
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,667
You didn't buy insurance, did you?
280
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,536
That jerk was ripping me off
281
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:25,870
with his higher premiums
282
00:08:25,871 --> 00:08:27,472
and crusty karma,
283
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,340
and I wasn't gonna let him screw me over!
284
00:08:29,341 --> 00:08:31,743
Well, isn't that great?
285
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:35,213
So now a gang of teenagers
will screw us instead.
286
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,281
You're hopeless,
287
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,883
and we're hooped.
288
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,886
I got a bad feeling about this.
289
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:43,221
[disembodied shriek]
290
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,289
[Hank, Wanda, and Lacey scream]
291
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,890
Jeez, relax.
292
00:08:45,891 --> 00:08:48,293
Look, the lights are still on upstairs.
293
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:49,894
It's probably just a fuse.
294
00:08:49,895 --> 00:08:51,229
A shrieking fuse?
295
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:54,699
Look, the ghost clearly
doesn't want us to be here.
296
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,034
Say what you want about ghosts,
297
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,436
but they give people plenty of warning
298
00:08:58,437 --> 00:08:59,238
to get out.
299
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:00,039
Sometimes
300
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,906
they even say, "Get out!"
301
00:09:01,907 --> 00:09:02,974
This will only take a second,
302
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:04,310
and then we can head back up.
303
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:07,779
[they gasp in horror]
304
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,380
Why are you gasping?
305
00:09:09,381 --> 00:09:11,516
There's clearly no scratch marks.
306
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,651
I just assumed there would be,
307
00:09:13,652 --> 00:09:16,054
but you're right, it's all smooth.
308
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:16,855
Wait...
309
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:19,524
The colour of the door is different
310
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,727
than the inside of the crawlspace.
311
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,862
The inside of the door was repainted!
312
00:09:24,863 --> 00:09:26,731
And those hinges look new, too.
313
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,066
[all gasping in horror]
314
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,133
- [doorbell rings]
- [all screaming in panic]
315
00:09:29,134 --> 00:09:29,935
Who's that?
316
00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:33,138
Oh, it's probably trick-or-treaters.
317
00:09:38,469 --> 00:09:41,030
[♪♪♪]
318
00:09:41,055 --> 00:09:43,414
Okay, I checked the basement windows,
319
00:09:43,439 --> 00:09:44,507
and we're all locked up.
320
00:09:44,532 --> 00:09:46,133
So far, so good.
321
00:09:46,158 --> 00:09:48,027
Think again.
322
00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:50,988
They soaped our living room windows?
323
00:09:50,989 --> 00:09:52,857
You know this is all your fault.
324
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:54,725
I know, I know!
325
00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:56,327
I'll get the flashlights.
326
00:09:56,328 --> 00:09:58,462
Nothing else is happening to this house!
327
00:09:58,463 --> 00:10:00,332
Trick or treat!
328
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,602
This has all the elements of a horror movie,
329
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:06,737
and you're just blindly ignoring it.
330
00:10:06,738 --> 00:10:09,140
Which is also an element
of every horror movie.
331
00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:10,207
Exactly.
332
00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:11,809
It happens in movies.
333
00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:14,211
Wanda, there's gotta be
some logical, rational,
334
00:10:14,212 --> 00:10:16,614
sciency explanation for all this, right?
335
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:19,016
I read that hauntings may be manifestations
336
00:10:19,017 --> 00:10:20,084
of negative energies
337
00:10:20,085 --> 00:10:21,686
trapped in a physical space.
338
00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:23,554
And this is the part where the quirky nerd
339
00:10:23,555 --> 00:10:25,956
explains how we all get murdered.
340
00:10:25,957 --> 00:10:27,558
"Cute" quirky nerd?
341
00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:29,694
So the negative energies of the Aberdeens
342
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:32,096
are forever trapped in your crawlspace.
343
00:10:32,097 --> 00:10:32,898
That proves it!
344
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:33,964
Proves what?
345
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,299
That someone painted a door?
346
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,968
Can we just put all this creepy psycho stuff
347
00:10:37,969 --> 00:10:38,770
behind us
348
00:10:38,795 --> 00:10:41,172
and go watch "Montana Murder Ranch"?
349
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,041
[doorbell rings]
350
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:45,976
Okay, we're here.
351
00:10:45,977 --> 00:10:47,311
What's the emergency?
352
00:10:47,312 --> 00:10:48,379
We didn't call the cops.
353
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:49,447
Maybe you didn't.
354
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:51,048
What took you so long?
355
00:10:51,049 --> 00:10:51,850
And where's Karen?
356
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,184
Karen is, uh...
357
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:55,052
bringing up the rear.
358
00:10:55,053 --> 00:10:57,188
[grunting awkwardly]
359
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:58,789
Who are you supposed to be?
360
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:01,726
Professor Possum, or Admiral Aardvark.
361
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,327
You ever heard of him?
362
00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:04,662
Exactly.
363
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:06,530
You ever hear of Spider-Man?
364
00:11:06,531 --> 00:11:07,332
Of course.
365
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,000
Yeah, well... still.
366
00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:11,335
[grunting awkwardly]
367
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:12,937
I pissed off some Halloweeners,
368
00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:15,339
and now they're out for blood.
369
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,407
I want police protection.
370
00:11:16,408 --> 00:11:17,475
Protection?
371
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:19,610
What are a few kids gonna do?
372
00:11:19,611 --> 00:11:21,212
It wasn't little kids.
373
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:22,813
It was teenagers.
374
00:11:22,814 --> 00:11:25,216
You pissed off teenagers?
375
00:11:25,217 --> 00:11:25,751
Oh, no.
376
00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:27,618
They're the worst kind of 'agers.
377
00:11:27,619 --> 00:11:28,686
I know.
378
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,554
They've already soaped our windows.
379
00:11:30,555 --> 00:11:32,690
God only knows what they'll do next.
380
00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:33,758
I'll radio Karen
381
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,092
to secure the perimeter.
382
00:11:35,093 --> 00:11:36,427
You two, stay sharp.
383
00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:37,762
I'll go look for teenagers
384
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:39,363
with soapy hands.
385
00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:40,165
[♪♪♪]
386
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:44,435
Now, if you don't want
"Montana Murder Ranch,"
387
00:11:44,436 --> 00:11:46,837
there's also "Texas Bloodbath Blitz,"
388
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:48,706
"The Lone Star Slaughter,"
389
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:51,108
or "Terror on Tumbleweed Trail."
390
00:11:51,109 --> 00:11:53,511
Boy, we've got a real
western theme going here.
391
00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:54,578
What I want to know is,
392
00:11:54,579 --> 00:11:55,913
who owned this house
393
00:11:55,914 --> 00:11:58,048
after the Aberdeens' demise?
394
00:11:58,049 --> 00:11:58,850
That's the thing.
395
00:11:59,117 --> 00:12:01,519
After the Aberdeens died in the basement,
396
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,188
the Butcher conveniently produced a document
397
00:12:04,189 --> 00:12:06,323
that transferred the title to him.
398
00:12:06,324 --> 00:12:06,858
Nobody died
399
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,726
or demised in my basement.
400
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,861
In the months that followed,
401
00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:13,798
more people from town went missing.
402
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,399
Okay, you're freaking me out.
403
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,734
That's 'cause she's bottom-lit
404
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:17,802
by her phone.
405
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,471
Oh, it's a notification.
406
00:12:20,472 --> 00:12:21,806
Hot Singles in My Area.
407
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,407
[chuckling] Talk about fake news.
408
00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:24,475
Anyway...
409
00:12:24,476 --> 00:12:26,076
Rumours started to swirl
410
00:12:26,077 --> 00:12:27,678
about there being a locked freezer
411
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,013
in the garage.
412
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:31,148
There's nothing wrong with a locked freezer.
413
00:12:31,149 --> 00:12:31,950
Meat is valuable.
414
00:12:32,217 --> 00:12:34,618
Is it so hard to believe
people might steal steaks?
415
00:12:34,619 --> 00:12:37,556
Or that people might become steaks!
416
00:12:38,356 --> 00:12:39,157
Anyway,
417
00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:39,958
one day,
418
00:12:40,225 --> 00:12:42,893
the police went to confront the Butcher,
419
00:12:42,894 --> 00:12:44,762
but he'd left town,
420
00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:45,564
and...
421
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,698
he took his freezer with him.
422
00:12:47,699 --> 00:12:49,834
Full of human steaks?
423
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:52,236
Some say there's still
a blood stain on the floor
424
00:12:52,237 --> 00:12:53,838
where the freezer used to be.
425
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:54,905
Who are these "some people"
426
00:12:54,906 --> 00:12:56,240
who say all these things?
427
00:12:56,241 --> 00:12:59,443
Some say they were residents of the town.
428
00:12:59,444 --> 00:13:01,046
Okay.
429
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:03,715
[owl hoots softly]
430
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:06,650
[twig snaps]
431
00:13:06,651 --> 00:13:07,718
[creature snarls]
432
00:13:07,719 --> 00:13:09,588
Who's there?
433
00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:12,523
Stupid piece of junk!
434
00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:13,859
Ah, finally.
435
00:13:15,727 --> 00:13:16,528
[yelping]
436
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,128
[screaming]
437
00:13:18,129 --> 00:13:18,663
Emma!
438
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,066
There's a demon in the garden!
439
00:13:23,735 --> 00:13:24,802
What the...
440
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:26,937
Karen, you're supposed to be
at Oscar and Emma's,
441
00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:28,539
but you're trick or treating?
442
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:30,407
Look, I get that you're angry,
443
00:13:30,408 --> 00:13:32,276
but acting out like this?
444
00:13:32,277 --> 00:13:33,611
Pretty unprofessional.
445
00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:35,479
[cell phone rings]
446
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,547
DRPD.
447
00:13:36,548 --> 00:13:37,615
[Oscar] Davis!
448
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:38,949
The teen demons are here!
449
00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:40,818
There's children in the corn!
450
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,419
[beeps off phone] Teens are attacking.
451
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,022
We gotta go.
452
00:13:46,958 --> 00:13:49,627
Fine, I'll carry you.
453
00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:50,428
[grunting]
454
00:13:52,564 --> 00:13:54,698
[♪♪♪]
455
00:13:54,699 --> 00:13:55,766
Have a look for yourselves.
456
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:58,435
There are no stains on the floor.
457
00:13:58,436 --> 00:13:59,503
There's a stain.
458
00:13:59,504 --> 00:14:00,571
Okay, that's oil.
459
00:14:00,572 --> 00:14:01,906
There's a stain.
460
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:03,507
That one's anti-freeze,
461
00:14:03,508 --> 00:14:05,109
and that one over there is mustard.
462
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,778
Sometimes I barbecue hot dogs
in here in the winter.
463
00:14:07,779 --> 00:14:08,580
Huh.
464
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:09,914
There isn't a single crack.
465
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:12,583
Highly irregular for concrete from the '50s,
466
00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:13,918
wouldn't you say?
467
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:14,985
What are you, a concrete maven?
468
00:14:14,986 --> 00:14:16,053
When concrete is poured,
469
00:14:16,054 --> 00:14:18,722
the company often presses
a date stamp into it.
470
00:14:18,723 --> 00:14:19,524
A-ha!
471
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,392
1985.
472
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:22,459
So it is new.
473
00:14:22,460 --> 00:14:24,061
Nice try, floor,
474
00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:25,930
you lying slab of stains!
475
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,798
- [doorbell rings]
- [they all scream]
476
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:30,467
How many kids are in this town?
477
00:14:30,468 --> 00:14:32,069
A demon teen?
478
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:33,938
You have to be more specific.
479
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,539
That could be any one of them.
480
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:36,341
It had claws
481
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,208
and beady red eyes, and...
482
00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:39,543
And it was me.
483
00:14:39,544 --> 00:14:40,878
Karen?
484
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,746
You're supposed to be over there.
485
00:14:42,747 --> 00:14:44,615
Wait, if you're Karen,
486
00:14:44,616 --> 00:14:45,951
then...
487
00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:47,818
My name's Kenny.
488
00:14:47,819 --> 00:14:49,954
Two Dr. Armordillos?
489
00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:50,755
See, Karen?
490
00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:52,089
I told you he was popular.
491
00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:53,157
Can we get back
492
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:54,224
to the pimply terrorists
493
00:14:54,225 --> 00:14:56,360
who are trying to destroy my house?
494
00:14:56,361 --> 00:14:57,695
[cell phone rings]
495
00:14:57,696 --> 00:14:59,296
DRPD.
496
00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:00,098
Uh-huh.
497
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,432
Missing child...
498
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:02,233
Uh-oh.
499
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,635
Dressed like a scaly rat dentist.
500
00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:05,703
He's a doctor.
501
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:06,770
Got it.
502
00:15:06,771 --> 00:15:07,838
We'll keep a look-out.
503
00:15:07,839 --> 00:15:09,974
Kenny, this was a test
504
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,575
to see if you'd trust strangers,
505
00:15:11,576 --> 00:15:13,177
and you failed miserably.
506
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:15,313
Leave the candy and run along.
507
00:15:16,381 --> 00:15:17,715
Oh, look.
508
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:19,583
His knees can bend.
509
00:15:19,584 --> 00:15:20,918
Be that as it may,
510
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:21,986
it's been a good night.
511
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:23,053
We found a lost kid,
512
00:15:23,054 --> 00:15:24,121
scored some candy,
513
00:15:24,122 --> 00:15:26,256
and prevented more vandalism.
514
00:15:26,257 --> 00:15:27,325
Not so fast.
515
00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:30,794
[Emma] Well, thank god
we have Halloween insurance.
516
00:15:30,795 --> 00:15:32,930
Oh, right...
517
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:34,265
we don't.
518
00:15:40,002 --> 00:15:41,870
[♪♪♪]
519
00:15:41,871 --> 00:15:45,073
That is a lot of toilet paper.
520
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,408
Two ply.
521
00:15:46,409 --> 00:15:47,209
[tasting]
522
00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:48,543
High-grade stuff.
523
00:15:48,544 --> 00:15:50,145
Davis, take señor rat
524
00:15:50,146 --> 00:15:52,547
and go arrest every teenager in town.
525
00:15:52,548 --> 00:15:53,882
If you arrest the teens,
526
00:15:53,883 --> 00:15:55,750
you just make them more angry.
527
00:15:55,751 --> 00:15:57,619
Look, the longer we stand here,
528
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,154
the more time
529
00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:00,021
the rest of the house is exposed.
530
00:16:00,022 --> 00:16:02,692
Everyone, take a side and protect it.
531
00:16:04,293 --> 00:16:06,428
[walls and floors creaking]
532
00:16:06,429 --> 00:16:07,229
[distant thud]
533
00:16:07,230 --> 00:16:09,898
Look, it doesn't take science
534
00:16:09,899 --> 00:16:12,300
to know that Brent's house is being haunted
535
00:16:12,301 --> 00:16:14,169
by the ghosts of the Aberdeens.
536
00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:15,236
[Brent] Wrong.
537
00:16:15,237 --> 00:16:16,838
I googled their obituaries.
538
00:16:16,839 --> 00:16:19,774
They died on a Mediterranean cruise.
539
00:16:19,775 --> 00:16:20,842
That's tragic,
540
00:16:20,843 --> 00:16:22,444
but for my purposes here...
541
00:16:22,445 --> 00:16:23,245
A-ha!
542
00:16:23,246 --> 00:16:25,647
Then your house is being haunted by...
543
00:16:25,648 --> 00:16:27,248
the Butcher.
544
00:16:27,249 --> 00:16:28,316
How is he haunting me?
545
00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:30,185
It's the Aberdeens that died,
546
00:16:30,186 --> 00:16:31,252
and it doesn't help
547
00:16:31,253 --> 00:16:32,854
that you keep calling him "The Butcher."
548
00:16:32,855 --> 00:16:34,989
He's got a name. It's Murray.
549
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:36,324
Here we go. I found him.
550
00:16:36,325 --> 00:16:37,659
Murray Butcher.
551
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:38,993
He moved to Stonewood.
552
00:16:38,994 --> 00:16:40,862
Opened Butcher's Butcher Shop.
553
00:16:40,863 --> 00:16:42,997
Okay, that's on the nose.
554
00:16:42,998 --> 00:16:44,065
He ran it for 20 years,
555
00:16:44,066 --> 00:16:44,867
then retired.
556
00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:45,934
End of story.
557
00:16:45,935 --> 00:16:47,535
And then he died.
558
00:16:47,536 --> 00:16:48,337
Oh.
559
00:16:48,338 --> 00:16:50,206
Three days ago.
560
00:16:51,273 --> 00:16:52,607
How long did you say
561
00:16:52,608 --> 00:16:55,810
your house was making weird noises?
562
00:16:55,811 --> 00:16:56,878
I can't remember.
563
00:16:56,879 --> 00:16:58,213
You said it was three...
564
00:16:58,214 --> 00:17:00,349
It was three days.
565
00:17:01,951 --> 00:17:03,284
Ouch!
566
00:17:03,285 --> 00:17:04,619
Hey!
567
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:05,687
Sorry about that.
568
00:17:05,688 --> 00:17:07,021
Thought you were a teen.
569
00:17:07,022 --> 00:17:08,890
Got a little trigger-happy.
570
00:17:08,891 --> 00:17:10,759
It's too dark to find rocks to throw.
571
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,093
Anything going on here?
572
00:17:12,094 --> 00:17:12,895
Nothing.
573
00:17:12,896 --> 00:17:14,496
All is quiet.
574
00:17:14,497 --> 00:17:16,364
Almost... too quiet.
575
00:17:16,365 --> 00:17:17,166
Nope.
576
00:17:17,167 --> 00:17:18,233
Just about the right amount.
577
00:17:18,234 --> 00:17:19,834
[Karen, over radio] Davis, are you there?
578
00:17:19,835 --> 00:17:20,636
Roger.
579
00:17:20,637 --> 00:17:22,771
Sorry, Roger, can I talk to Davis?
580
00:17:22,772 --> 00:17:25,440
[cackling] I love that gag.
581
00:17:25,441 --> 00:17:26,508
I hate that gag.
582
00:17:26,509 --> 00:17:27,575
You see anything?
583
00:17:27,576 --> 00:17:29,177
I saw something,
584
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,045
and I caught something.
585
00:17:31,046 --> 00:17:32,914
[suspenseful music flourish]
586
00:17:32,915 --> 00:17:35,049
[disembodied shriek]
587
00:17:35,050 --> 00:17:36,384
Okay, so
588
00:17:36,385 --> 00:17:40,121
I think that now we can all agree
589
00:17:40,122 --> 00:17:43,057
there is a ghost in Brent's house.
590
00:17:43,058 --> 00:17:44,659
I emphatically disagree.
591
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:45,461
Brent's right.
592
00:17:45,462 --> 00:17:46,795
It could very well be
593
00:17:46,796 --> 00:17:49,197
some other evil, undead entity.
594
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,265
We should cover all our bases.
595
00:17:50,266 --> 00:17:53,201
Get some holy water, garlic, wooden stakes.
596
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:54,269
What if it's a werewolf?
597
00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:55,336
Oh, good point.
598
00:17:55,337 --> 00:17:56,671
Lacey, go melt your earrings.
599
00:17:56,672 --> 00:17:58,540
Wanda, go find Brent's bullet-maker.
600
00:17:58,541 --> 00:17:59,341
We don't necessarily
601
00:17:59,342 --> 00:18:00,942
have to fight this thing.
602
00:18:00,943 --> 00:18:03,077
We could try reasoning with it.
603
00:18:03,078 --> 00:18:05,213
Brent, where's your Ouija board?
604
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:06,281
It's in the cloakroom
605
00:18:06,282 --> 00:18:07,882
with my crossbow and crystals.
606
00:18:07,883 --> 00:18:09,751
This is no time to make jokes.
607
00:18:09,752 --> 00:18:11,085
The one who makes jokes
608
00:18:11,086 --> 00:18:12,153
usually dies first.
609
00:18:12,154 --> 00:18:14,022
I thought it was the virgin.
610
00:18:14,023 --> 00:18:15,890
Any last words, Hank?
611
00:18:15,891 --> 00:18:16,692
Uh...
612
00:18:16,693 --> 00:18:18,827
maybe we could conjure up a bigger ghost
613
00:18:18,828 --> 00:18:20,161
to punch this one out.
614
00:18:20,162 --> 00:18:21,496
Lacey, hop on the Ouija
615
00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:23,097
and dial up Andre The Giant.
616
00:18:23,098 --> 00:18:25,767
Everyone take a breath
and come back to Earth.
617
00:18:25,768 --> 00:18:27,635
We're here to have some fun
618
00:18:27,636 --> 00:18:28,970
and watch a movie,
619
00:18:28,971 --> 00:18:30,038
so let's do that.
620
00:18:30,039 --> 00:18:31,639
Here's one.
621
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,042
"The Basement Butcher of Bog Hollow."
622
00:18:34,043 --> 00:18:35,643
It's very thematic.
623
00:18:35,644 --> 00:18:36,178
Can't do it.
624
00:18:36,179 --> 00:18:37,779
- Nope.
- I'm out.
625
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:40,181
[♪♪♪]
626
00:18:40,182 --> 00:18:42,317
Those little bastards egged the house!
627
00:18:42,318 --> 00:18:44,185
Karen, where are the perps?
628
00:18:44,186 --> 00:18:46,054
The perps are right here.
629
00:18:46,055 --> 00:18:47,121
Emma's the one
630
00:18:47,122 --> 00:18:48,456
who's been trashing the house.
631
00:18:48,457 --> 00:18:51,125
The metal in that costume
has leaked into her brain.
632
00:18:51,126 --> 00:18:52,193
It's fiberglass.
633
00:18:52,194 --> 00:18:54,863
Each piece lovingly hand-crafted.
634
00:18:54,864 --> 00:18:56,197
I got suspicious
635
00:18:56,198 --> 00:18:57,799
because she always seemed to be missing
636
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:58,867
from the group
637
00:18:58,868 --> 00:19:00,735
when the vandals struck...
638
00:19:00,736 --> 00:19:03,938
[Karen] So, when she
told everyone to spread out,
639
00:19:03,939 --> 00:19:06,074
I kept my eye on her.
640
00:19:06,075 --> 00:19:07,408
I found a button on the costume
641
00:19:07,409 --> 00:19:10,078
that helped me go undercover.
642
00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:11,946
[muffled yelp]
643
00:19:11,947 --> 00:19:13,014
[Karen] Sort of.
644
00:19:13,015 --> 00:19:16,751
Anyway, that's when I saw Emma throwing eggs
645
00:19:16,752 --> 00:19:18,413
at her own house!
646
00:19:22,091 --> 00:19:23,424
Fine, I admit it.
647
00:19:23,425 --> 00:19:25,293
I would've gotten away with it, too,
648
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:27,695
if it wasn't for this masked meddler!
649
00:19:27,696 --> 00:19:30,365
Usually the one in the mask
gets caught by meddling...
650
00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:31,966
Well, you've all seen Scooby-Doo,
651
00:19:31,967 --> 00:19:33,301
you know how it plays out.
652
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:34,903
You've been on me all night
653
00:19:34,904 --> 00:19:36,237
about not getting insurance,
654
00:19:36,238 --> 00:19:38,373
and then you go and vandalize our own home?
655
00:19:38,374 --> 00:19:39,174
Why?
656
00:19:39,175 --> 00:19:42,110
Because I bought Halloween insurance.
657
00:19:42,111 --> 00:19:43,978
I knew you would be too cheap,
658
00:19:43,979 --> 00:19:45,847
so I bought it myself,
659
00:19:45,848 --> 00:19:47,181
and since we were covered,
660
00:19:47,182 --> 00:19:49,317
I took the opportunity to mess with you
661
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:51,185
and pretend teens were attacking the house.
662
00:19:51,186 --> 00:19:54,122
So Brent has to clean this up after all?
663
00:19:54,123 --> 00:19:55,456
[chuckling] Well...
664
00:19:55,457 --> 00:19:57,325
let's make it good and messy, then!
665
00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:59,193
[laughing gleefully]
666
00:19:59,194 --> 00:19:59,995
H'yah!
667
00:19:59,996 --> 00:20:01,329
[cackling]
668
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,397
[eggs splatting]
669
00:20:02,398 --> 00:20:03,731
[laughing]
670
00:20:03,732 --> 00:20:06,936
[rowdy cheering]
671
00:20:07,736 --> 00:20:09,070
Bye!
672
00:20:09,071 --> 00:20:10,672
Have a terrific evening!
673
00:20:10,673 --> 00:20:13,341
I'll stay here alone
with the crazy killer ghost
674
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,477
that I'm not afraid of!
675
00:20:16,278 --> 00:20:18,413
[snarling shriek nearby]
676
00:20:18,414 --> 00:20:19,747
[screaming in terror]
677
00:20:19,748 --> 00:20:22,151
Y-you guys, wait!
678
00:20:23,752 --> 00:20:25,353
[chittering]
679
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:27,221
[snarling shriek]
680
00:20:27,222 --> 00:20:29,891
Takes a shocking and keeps on gnawing.
681
00:20:29,892 --> 00:20:32,026
Well, I guess the mystery is solved.
682
00:20:32,027 --> 00:20:32,828
Yep.
683
00:20:32,829 --> 00:20:33,895
The raccoons are possessed
684
00:20:33,896 --> 00:20:35,496
by the ghost of Murray Butcher.
685
00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:38,433
I can't believe you're scared of raccoons.
686
00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:40,301
Cute, furry little...
687
00:20:40,302 --> 00:20:41,369
[snarling shriek]
688
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:42,971
[all screaming in panic]
689
00:20:42,972 --> 00:20:44,039
[♪♪♪]
690
00:20:45,905 --> 00:20:48,576
[♪♪♪]
691
00:20:48,577 --> 00:20:49,911
What a mess.
692
00:20:49,912 --> 00:20:50,979
Geez, I was right
693
00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:52,847
when I said you were a high-risk case.
694
00:20:52,848 --> 00:20:54,716
You better get busy.
695
00:20:54,717 --> 00:20:56,050
There's lots to clean up.
696
00:20:56,051 --> 00:20:57,919
Yep. We'll get on it right away.
697
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,253
"We'll" get on it?
698
00:20:59,254 --> 00:21:01,389
I always subcontract
the cleaning to teenagers.
699
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,058
Cheap labour, and I pocket the difference.
700
00:21:04,059 --> 00:21:06,728
[grumbling] I hate kids.
701
00:21:06,729 --> 00:21:07,795
Especially our own.
702
00:21:07,796 --> 00:21:12,066
[♪♪♪]
703
00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:13,935
♪ I don't know
704
00:21:13,936 --> 00:21:16,338
♪ The same things you don't know ♪
705
00:21:19,808 --> 00:21:21,676
♪ I don't know
706
00:21:21,677 --> 00:21:24,079
♪ I just... don't know
707
00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:29,417
♪ Ooh...
708
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,019
♪ It's a great big place
709
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:33,154
♪ Ooh...
710
00:21:33,155 --> 00:21:34,756
♪ Full of nothin' but space
711
00:21:34,757 --> 00:21:36,891
♪ Ooh...
712
00:21:36,892 --> 00:21:38,737
♪ And it's my happy place
713
00:21:38,762 --> 00:21:40,897
♪ I don't know ♪
45966
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