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1
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,719
- To Meg!
- "Meg"?
2
00:00:05,721 --> 00:00:07,521
Does Hank have a girlfriend?
3
00:00:07,523 --> 00:00:09,657
"Meg" is short for "Megalodon."
4
00:00:09,659 --> 00:00:11,926
It's Shark Week, Lacey.
Read a book.
5
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:14,562
We're toasting sharks?
On the prairies?
6
00:00:14,564 --> 00:00:17,298
How about...
to Dog River Days!
7
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,967
Is that comin' around again?
8
00:00:19,969 --> 00:00:22,954
It's next week, and I haven't heard
about any planned activity.
9
00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:24,405
That's because
there aren't any.
10
00:00:24,407 --> 00:00:26,941
Someone was supposed
to remind us to plan them.
11
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,343
Who?
12
00:00:29,177 --> 00:00:32,012
So no one remembers who
was supposed to remind us?
13
00:00:32,014 --> 00:00:34,048
Okay, well, let's have a parade.
14
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:35,416
We've never had one of those.
15
00:00:35,418 --> 00:00:37,718
We used to have 'em.
Every year.
16
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,987
Really?
Well, why'd you stop?
17
00:00:39,989 --> 00:00:41,589
Wh... I don't remember.
18
00:00:41,591 --> 00:00:45,092
Hey! Who's supposed
to remind us of stuff?
19
00:00:45,094 --> 00:00:48,929
♪ You think there's not a lot
goin' on ♪
20
00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:52,066
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
21
00:00:52,168 --> 00:00:55,136
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
22
00:00:56,161 --> 00:00:58,996
Wanda, what are you
doing for the parade?
23
00:00:58,998 --> 00:01:02,299
Lawn chair, sunscreen,
slingshot... the yoozh.
24
00:01:02,301 --> 00:01:03,667
My list is massive.
25
00:01:03,669 --> 00:01:06,037
- You've got to do your share.
- My share?
26
00:01:06,039 --> 00:01:07,905
We were at the bar,
talking sharks,
27
00:01:07,907 --> 00:01:10,107
and you decided we needed
to throw a parade,
28
00:01:10,109 --> 00:01:11,208
and now I have chores.
29
00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:13,177
You've done
more than your share.
30
00:01:13,179 --> 00:01:15,179
All you need to do
is make one phone call.
31
00:01:15,181 --> 00:01:18,049
The parades used to be
sponsored by Flameball Candy.
32
00:01:18,051 --> 00:01:20,251
Contact them and see
if they'll kick in some money
33
00:01:20,253 --> 00:01:22,086
and candy to throw out to kids.
34
00:01:22,088 --> 00:01:23,854
Here's their phone number
and fax number.
35
00:01:23,856 --> 00:01:26,323
Fax number?
Who delivers their stuff?
36
00:01:26,325 --> 00:01:29,360
Knight Rider?
Hey-oh!
37
00:01:31,129 --> 00:01:32,897
Lacey, about this parade.
38
00:01:32,899 --> 00:01:36,167
- Will Miss Dog River be in it?
- Uh, probably. Maybe.
39
00:01:36,169 --> 00:01:38,369
- Miss... "Miss" what?
- Great!
40
00:01:38,371 --> 00:01:41,205
That means there's going to be
a Miss Dog River Pageant,
41
00:01:41,207 --> 00:01:43,107
and I want to compete.
42
00:01:43,109 --> 00:01:45,843
Let's drop the marriage status
and age limit.
43
00:01:45,845 --> 00:01:47,344
A-And sex limit.
44
00:01:47,346 --> 00:01:49,080
I'm saying
that me and my junk
45
00:01:49,082 --> 00:01:50,381
should be able to enter as well.
46
00:01:50,383 --> 00:01:54,919
Your junk hasn't entered
anything in years. Hey-oh!
47
00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:56,887
I forgot my phone.
48
00:01:56,889 --> 00:01:59,223
A pageant?
Uh, I'm too busy to care.
49
00:01:59,225 --> 00:02:01,692
If I don't have to run it,
you can both compete.
50
00:02:01,694 --> 00:02:05,467
And may the best...
Uh, good luck.
51
00:02:05,664 --> 00:02:06,864
Why are you competing?
52
00:02:06,866 --> 00:02:08,346
Because the winner
always gets to ride
53
00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:11,635
in Anderson's classic
cherry red '62 convertible.
54
00:02:11,637 --> 00:02:14,138
He won't let me get
anywhere near his car,
55
00:02:14,140 --> 00:02:17,007
but if I win this,
he'll have no choice.
56
00:02:17,009 --> 00:02:20,711
The fool.
57
00:02:20,713 --> 00:02:24,081
- Why are you competing?
- It's a story from long ago...
58
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:27,985
I was a finalist
in the pageant years ago,
59
00:02:27,987 --> 00:02:29,620
up against Helen and Mavis.
60
00:02:29,622 --> 00:02:31,956
I was so insecure about losing
61
00:02:31,958 --> 00:02:33,858
that I tried to sabotage them,
62
00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:35,459
and was disqualified.
63
00:02:35,461 --> 00:02:37,928
If you don't count my marriage,
64
00:02:37,930 --> 00:02:39,697
it was the biggest regret
of my life.
65
00:02:39,699 --> 00:02:42,733
Wow. I guess we both
have important reasons...
66
00:02:42,735 --> 00:02:45,036
- you, for redemption.
- And you, for...
67
00:02:45,037 --> 00:02:49,974
- a ride in a car?
- Convertible. 1962.
68
00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:53,177
Brent, can you do me a favour?
69
00:02:53,179 --> 00:02:57,232
I'm so busy with organizing
that I was hoping
70
00:02:57,267 --> 00:02:58,983
you could make one big float
71
00:02:58,985 --> 00:03:00,351
for Corner Gas and The Ruby.
72
00:03:00,353 --> 00:03:02,253
So you can do
what you always do
73
00:03:02,255 --> 00:03:04,054
and shoot down all my ideas?
74
00:03:04,056 --> 00:03:06,624
When have I ever done that?
75
00:03:08,793 --> 00:03:10,193
Uh-uh.
76
00:03:12,864 --> 00:03:14,465
Duh!
77
00:03:17,937 --> 00:03:19,703
That last one didn't happen.
78
00:03:19,705 --> 00:03:21,906
Could have, if you were
more open to my ideas.
79
00:03:21,908 --> 00:03:24,059
Well, I promise, you can build whatever
80
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,210
float you want, hassle-free.
Please?
81
00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:28,112
Ple-e-e-e-e-e-ease?
82
00:03:28,114 --> 00:03:29,580
Ah, you know I can't say "no"
83
00:03:29,582 --> 00:03:32,683
when you say "please"
with seven "e"s in it.
84
00:03:35,654 --> 00:03:38,055
Whoops!
Davis, I'm going to be
85
00:03:38,057 --> 00:03:40,024
riding my Ziptygo
in the parade,
86
00:03:40,026 --> 00:03:41,959
and I need one officer
up front with me,
87
00:03:41,961 --> 00:03:44,195
and another
on foot patrol. So...
88
00:03:44,197 --> 00:03:46,664
So you want me to be
the parade marshal.
89
00:03:46,666 --> 00:03:49,334
- I accept.
- Not a parade marshal per se.
90
00:03:49,335 --> 00:03:52,102
You'll just be
shooing away drunk teens.
91
00:03:52,104 --> 00:03:53,337
I'm a lawman.
92
00:03:53,339 --> 00:03:56,607
Synonymously speaking,
I'm already a marshal.
93
00:03:56,609 --> 00:03:58,042
Besides, it can't be Karen.
94
00:03:58,044 --> 00:04:00,244
She couldn't lead
water out of a hose.
95
00:04:00,246 --> 00:04:03,347
Fine. Just keep things
clear for my Ziptygo.
96
00:04:03,349 --> 00:04:05,049
I might do some tricks.
97
00:04:05,051 --> 00:04:07,388
Ooh! Oh...
98
00:04:07,886 --> 00:04:10,788
Competing in this pageant
is serious stuff.
99
00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:12,957
I think I'm gonna need
a coach or something.
100
00:04:12,959 --> 00:04:14,609
Someone with class and grace,
101
00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:17,328
who knows how to look great.
I need your help.
102
00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:21,198
Well, I'm flattered, but
I'm too swamped to coach you.
103
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,533
No, no, no. I need your help
104
00:04:22,535 --> 00:04:25,536
- convincing Karen to be my coach.
- Oh.
105
00:04:25,538 --> 00:04:28,038
She won a beauty
contest a while back.
106
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,506
Well, maybe
go ask her yourself,
107
00:04:29,508 --> 00:04:33,611
- if she's so beautiful.
- Great idea. Thanks for your help!
108
00:04:33,613 --> 00:04:35,479
Flameball Candy
was shut down.
109
00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:38,849
Turns out you can't
line candy vats with asbestos.
110
00:04:38,851 --> 00:04:40,050
So, no sponsor.
111
00:04:40,052 --> 00:04:42,620
Anyways, made my phone call.
I'm out.
112
00:04:42,787 --> 00:04:45,422
I want you to bring me
solutions, Wanda.
113
00:04:45,424 --> 00:04:46,924
Find another sponsor.
114
00:04:48,059 --> 00:04:50,160
"Find another sponsor."
115
00:04:50,162 --> 00:04:52,730
- Nah-nanny-nah-nah.
- What's her problem?
116
00:04:52,732 --> 00:04:54,372
I don't have a...
117
00:04:54,396 --> 00:04:56,500
I mean, I don't have
a sponsor for the parade.
118
00:04:56,502 --> 00:04:58,168
Flameball Candy went under.
119
00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:00,437
Too bad!
Murray was a good guy.
120
00:05:00,439 --> 00:05:03,474
Wait, are you the one who
got them to sponsor parades?
121
00:05:03,476 --> 00:05:07,378
Yeah. Flameball Candy sucked,
but it was great to throw.
122
00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:10,214
You huck a jawbreaker at
a kid, it hit the mark.
123
00:05:10,216 --> 00:05:12,449
Sometimes it left a mark.
124
00:05:12,451 --> 00:05:15,753
Plus, Flameball
gave good kickbacks.
125
00:05:15,755 --> 00:05:18,989
- There's kickbacks?
- Sure! The kids got the candy,
126
00:05:18,991 --> 00:05:20,624
but Oscar got the treats.
127
00:05:20,626 --> 00:05:23,127
Getting sponsors
is a thankless job.
128
00:05:23,129 --> 00:05:25,412
The least you can do
is get something
129
00:05:25,447 --> 00:05:29,327
- out of it for yourself.
- For myself?
130
00:05:30,402 --> 00:05:32,903
Who told you
I won a beauty contest?
131
00:05:32,905 --> 00:05:35,406
You! At the hotel bar.
132
00:05:35,408 --> 00:05:37,308
Every time
you have three beers.
133
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:38,742
Oh. Fine.
134
00:05:38,744 --> 00:05:42,146
I won a beauty contest,
but that was a long time ago.
135
00:05:42,148 --> 00:05:44,348
I'm not asking you to enter.
136
00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:46,517
I'm asking you to coach me.
137
00:05:46,519 --> 00:05:50,587
- Uh, me too. I asked first.
- First? You just got here.
138
00:05:50,589 --> 00:05:52,956
Hey, Karen. Where's all
the stuff to wash the cruiser?
139
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:56,423
On the shelf in the storeroom,
back-stabber.
140
00:05:56,661 --> 00:05:59,146
I'd say both of your chances
of winning are slim, since
141
00:05:59,147 --> 00:06:01,632
one of you is married and
the other one has a penis...
142
00:06:01,634 --> 00:06:03,167
but if you want my advice,
143
00:06:03,169 --> 00:06:05,135
I would eliminate the competition...
144
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,704
like Bu and Tina, for example.
145
00:06:06,706 --> 00:06:10,274
- How do we eliminate them?
- Anyone seen "I, Tonya"?
146
00:06:10,276 --> 00:06:12,710
- I can't find the car shampoo.
- It's the bottle
147
00:06:12,711 --> 00:06:16,213
with the red label that
says "car shampoo," jerkface.
148
00:06:16,215 --> 00:06:18,849
Why are you being
so hard on Davis?
149
00:06:18,851 --> 00:06:20,484
Because he threw me
under the bus,
150
00:06:20,486 --> 00:06:22,486
and now he gets
to lead the parade.
151
00:06:22,488 --> 00:06:24,955
Ugh! Makes me
want to bust some heads.
152
00:06:24,957 --> 00:06:28,058
Then maybe you could talk
to Bu and Tina for us.
153
00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:30,060
Y-yeah.
Just talk, though.
154
00:06:30,062 --> 00:06:32,162
Don't go all
"I-Tonka" on them.
155
00:06:32,164 --> 00:06:35,899
There's no way
I should lose to this guy.
156
00:06:38,336 --> 00:06:41,372
At first, I thought maybe
do a standard tissue float
157
00:06:41,374 --> 00:06:43,874
with the Corner Gas
and Ruby logo on it.
158
00:06:43,876 --> 00:06:46,710
- That sounds great!
- And then I thought this...
159
00:06:46,712 --> 00:06:50,647
Aliens run out of fuel
and land at Corner Gas.
160
00:06:50,649 --> 00:06:52,149
While their ship
is being serviced,
161
00:06:52,151 --> 00:06:53,951
they have lunch in The Ruby.
162
00:06:53,953 --> 00:06:57,221
- It tells a whole story.
- Wow.
163
00:06:57,223 --> 00:06:59,123
Wow, wow, wow.
Um, I-I...
164
00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:03,761
I couldn't help but notice that
you're very hairy in that sketch.
165
00:07:03,763 --> 00:07:06,630
Oh, that's not me pumping gas.
That's a Sasquatch.
166
00:07:06,632 --> 00:07:08,365
I was gonna call it "Gas-Squatch,"
167
00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:12,503
but my lawyer did some
clearance search and... pfft.
168
00:07:12,505 --> 00:07:14,471
Now, let me guess,
you don't like it?
169
00:07:14,473 --> 00:07:16,039
I didn't say that.
170
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:18,776
It just it-it-it...
it caught me by surprise.
171
00:07:18,778 --> 00:07:20,811
Well, this is a rough sketch.
172
00:07:20,813 --> 00:07:24,271
- Things could change as I work on it.
- Oh, good! I mean...
173
00:07:24,306 --> 00:07:26,618
G-Good! ... Pfft!
More good things to come.
174
00:07:26,653 --> 00:07:28,285
Uh...
175
00:07:31,457 --> 00:07:34,725
What the...?
My marshal mobile!
176
00:07:34,727 --> 00:07:37,789
What the hell is this stuff?
177
00:07:40,298 --> 00:07:41,698
This is your evening gown?
178
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,268
Dammit! I was
gonna wear purple.
179
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:47,337
Did you convince Bu and Tina
not to enter the pageant?
180
00:07:47,339 --> 00:07:49,206
They were pretty stubborn.
181
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,475
"Miss Dog River"?
182
00:07:51,477 --> 00:07:54,545
Parading around in swimwear,
looking for approval?
183
00:07:54,547 --> 00:07:57,147
Sure. What is this, 1982?
184
00:07:57,882 --> 00:08:00,451
But I managed to convince them.
185
00:08:00,453 --> 00:08:02,286
Hey, how do you think
I'd look in chartreuse?
186
00:08:02,288 --> 00:08:05,851
And, uh, what is chartreuse?
187
00:08:09,995 --> 00:08:12,729
Hey, Brent.
I just thought I'd come by
188
00:08:12,731 --> 00:08:14,898
and see how
things are going.
189
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:17,568
I've had second thoughts
about my original idea.
190
00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:20,170
You can't have Sasquatch
and aliens on a float...
191
00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:24,107
- Oh! I agree!
- ...without having superheroes too.
192
00:08:24,109 --> 00:08:26,076
- What?
- What the hell are you doing?
193
00:08:26,078 --> 00:08:27,478
My thoughts exactly.
194
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,813
Your design is
wa-a-ay too out there!
195
00:08:29,815 --> 00:08:31,014
Ah, screw the design!
196
00:08:31,016 --> 00:08:33,517
You're making your float
out of plywood?
197
00:08:33,519 --> 00:08:35,185
What do you think
that's gonna cost ya?
198
00:08:35,187 --> 00:08:38,288
Chicken wire and tissue flowers,
that's the way to go.
199
00:08:38,290 --> 00:08:40,757
- And what makes you an expert?
- I've been building floats
200
00:08:40,759 --> 00:08:42,659
since you were
knee-high to a diaper,
201
00:08:42,661 --> 00:08:45,229
- and I'm telling ya...
- Well, I'm telling both of you
202
00:08:45,231 --> 00:08:47,498
to leave me
and my float alone.
203
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,833
Lacey, you said I could
design it, so I am.
204
00:08:50,034 --> 00:08:51,594
And I'm the only one
that's building it.
205
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:54,238
So if you don't mind...
206
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,673
Oscar...
how would you like
207
00:08:56,675 --> 00:08:58,475
to build a float for The Ruby?
208
00:08:58,477 --> 00:09:01,006
- Why the hell would I do that?
- It would give you
209
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:03,213
the satisfaction
of proving Brent wrong.
210
00:09:03,215 --> 00:09:05,082
You had me at "wrong."
211
00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:07,551
That was literally
the last word I said.
212
00:09:07,553 --> 00:09:12,849
- But you can't tell Brent.
- You had me... at "Brent."
213
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,834
Hello.
Red Whip Licorice?
214
00:09:18,836 --> 00:09:21,303
This is Wanda Dollard,
President and CEO
215
00:09:21,305 --> 00:09:23,105
of the Dog River
Parade Committee,
216
00:09:23,107 --> 00:09:25,741
and I have some
tremendous news for you!
217
00:09:25,743 --> 00:09:28,444
After considering
many qualified candidates,
218
00:09:28,446 --> 00:09:31,981
we've decided that you,
Red Whip Licorice,
219
00:09:31,983 --> 00:09:35,018
makers of my favourite candy,
can give us free product
220
00:09:35,019 --> 00:09:37,987
and sponsorship money.
Congratulations!
221
00:09:37,989 --> 00:09:40,022
Sorry.
We don't do sponsorships.
222
00:09:40,024 --> 00:09:41,991
Never have. Never will.
223
00:09:41,993 --> 00:09:44,193
But this is
an amazing opportunity.
224
00:09:44,195 --> 00:09:46,295
Perhaps you could
take me out to dinner
225
00:09:46,297 --> 00:09:47,196
on your expense account,
226
00:09:47,198 --> 00:09:50,666
- and I'll explain how...
- Don't do 'em. Bye, now.
227
00:09:51,402 --> 00:09:54,036
- The hell's his problem?
- Where are the Band-aids?
228
00:09:54,038 --> 00:09:57,840
Damn chicken wire is scratching
the hell out of my hands.
229
00:09:59,009 --> 00:10:02,912
Hey, Lacey. I feel kinda
bad about blowing up earlier.
230
00:10:02,914 --> 00:10:05,414
It's both our float, so
we should both have a say.
231
00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:07,550
I promised not to
criticize your work.
232
00:10:07,552 --> 00:10:10,753
So whatever you do,
I'm 100% on board.
233
00:10:10,755 --> 00:10:12,021
So you don't mind
234
00:10:12,023 --> 00:10:15,157
if maybe I make Sasquatch
and an alien kiss?
235
00:10:15,159 --> 00:10:17,326
Ooh! You know what would
make it even more dramatic?
236
00:10:17,328 --> 00:10:19,662
If sparks flew
when their lips touch.
237
00:10:19,664 --> 00:10:21,897
Yeah!
I-I could hook up a battery.
238
00:10:21,899 --> 00:10:24,033
Great.
That is gonna be awesome.
239
00:10:24,035 --> 00:10:27,469
Keep up the good work.
240
00:10:28,405 --> 00:10:30,573
Let's practice your posture.
241
00:10:30,575 --> 00:10:32,408
Uh, isn't that
supposed to be a book?
242
00:10:32,410 --> 00:10:35,878
Books are for losers.
Coffee is for closers.
243
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,347
Ow. Ow, ow, ow!
244
00:10:39,183 --> 00:10:41,951
Losers don't have
burns on their scalps.
245
00:10:41,953 --> 00:10:43,953
Karen,
can I speak to you, please?
246
00:10:43,955 --> 00:10:46,088
You told me
to use the red bottle,
247
00:10:46,090 --> 00:10:47,056
and look what happened.
248
00:10:47,058 --> 00:10:49,758
No. I said the bottle with the red label
249
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,160
that said "car shampoo."
250
00:10:51,162 --> 00:10:54,196
"Car shampoo"
is the key part of this.
251
00:10:54,198 --> 00:10:56,665
Well, you said it fast
and called me "jerkface."
252
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:58,968
I got mixed up.
Now what?
253
00:10:58,970 --> 00:11:00,536
You're the big, smart
parade marshal.
254
00:11:00,538 --> 00:11:03,339
Figure it out, jerkface.
255
00:11:03,341 --> 00:11:05,841
I need a sponsorship
update, stat.
256
00:11:05,843 --> 00:11:09,011
Wanda?
What the hell are you doing?
257
00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:11,380
- And wearing?
- I'm not Wanda.
258
00:11:11,382 --> 00:11:13,315
I'm Whippy Shortstocking,
259
00:11:13,317 --> 00:11:16,619
the about-to-become-beloved
mascot of Red Whip Licorice.
260
00:11:16,621 --> 00:11:19,121
- Hi-yah!
- ...who does karate?
261
00:11:19,123 --> 00:11:23,125
I'm just workshopping ideas.
Maybe she breakdances.
262
00:11:23,127 --> 00:11:25,594
So the licorice people said "yes"?
We got a sponsor?
263
00:11:25,762 --> 00:11:28,531
Well, they haven't said "yes" yet.
But how could they not,
264
00:11:28,532 --> 00:11:31,133
once they see me
in this great costume?
265
00:11:31,135 --> 00:11:32,601
Here, take some pics for me.
266
00:11:32,603 --> 00:11:34,370
You really think this'll work?
267
00:11:34,372 --> 00:11:39,326
- Won't know unless we... aah!
- So "no" to the breakdancing.
268
00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:44,780
So... I really need some
coaching for the Q&A.
269
00:11:44,782 --> 00:11:48,417
Relax. The secret is to
imagine yourself naked.
270
00:11:48,419 --> 00:11:51,020
Don't you mean imagine
the audience naked?
271
00:11:51,022 --> 00:11:53,689
Rookie mistake.
Imagine yourself naked.
272
00:11:53,691 --> 00:11:55,524
Think about how
confident you'll be
273
00:11:55,526 --> 00:11:57,192
once you have clothes on.
274
00:12:00,031 --> 00:12:02,097
- Hello?
- Wanda Dollard?
275
00:12:02,099 --> 00:12:04,566
It's Mr. Cahill
from Wed Rip Licorice.
276
00:12:04,568 --> 00:12:07,202
Ahem. I mean, Wed...
277
00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:09,972
Been working here 30 years,
I still can't say that.
278
00:12:09,974 --> 00:12:11,607
Red... Whip... Licorice,
279
00:12:11,609 --> 00:12:13,876
and we'd like
to sponsor your parade.
280
00:12:13,878 --> 00:12:15,678
I knew it!
281
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,047
So the photos
really sealed the deal, huh?
282
00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:20,182
They absolutely did.
283
00:12:21,484 --> 00:12:25,320
It's the same woman as before. My
concern is that it's escalating.
284
00:12:25,322 --> 00:12:27,690
- First, the harassment...
- ...and now this lunacy.
285
00:12:27,692 --> 00:12:29,291
That's supposed to be a mascot?
286
00:12:29,293 --> 00:12:31,060
Looks like a bag
of bloody fingers.
287
00:12:31,062 --> 00:12:32,695
Give her 500 bucks
and some candy,
288
00:12:32,697 --> 00:12:34,496
and let's pray she goes away.
289
00:12:34,498 --> 00:12:37,933
- We do not want a repeat of 2009.
- How many times
290
00:12:37,935 --> 00:12:41,904
are you gonna bring that up?
I said I was sorry!
291
00:12:44,441 --> 00:12:46,008
Gaah! Hot!
292
00:12:46,010 --> 00:12:49,144
Geez, Emma! You screwed
up my posture exercise.
293
00:12:49,146 --> 00:12:51,346
Aren't you supposed
to do that with a book?
294
00:12:51,348 --> 00:12:53,048
Karen told me
to do it this way,
295
00:12:53,050 --> 00:12:56,318
and she's the expert.
I guess beauty really is pain.
296
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,120
Is she really an expert?
297
00:12:58,122 --> 00:13:01,174
She told me I should picture
myself naked
298
00:13:01,227 --> 00:13:03,992
- to boost my confidence.
- Huh.
299
00:13:03,994 --> 00:13:06,962
You better not be doing
what I think you're doing.
300
00:13:06,964 --> 00:13:07,996
No, no, no.
301
00:13:07,998 --> 00:13:09,698
Just out of curiosity,
302
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,367
what beauty pageant
did you say you won?
303
00:13:12,369 --> 00:13:15,270
It was the, uh...
Miss...
304
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,805
Little...
305
00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:19,208
Pageant.
Gah. All right, fine!
306
00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:21,310
It was
a baby photo competition.
307
00:13:21,312 --> 00:13:24,480
But I won!
I crushed those other babies.
308
00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:28,550
- So, here's the thing...
- You're fired.
309
00:13:29,352 --> 00:13:30,652
Dad, I need to borrow the...
310
00:13:30,654 --> 00:13:34,089
- What are you doing?
- Lacey told me not to tell ya.
311
00:13:34,091 --> 00:13:36,125
Oh. That's funny.
I was just talking to her,
312
00:13:36,127 --> 00:13:38,434
and she told me to tell you
that you're supposed to tell me.
313
00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:40,596
Geez, that woman
can't make up her mind.
314
00:13:40,598 --> 00:13:44,333
Fine, I'm building a
classic-style float for The Ruby.
315
00:13:44,335 --> 00:13:47,469
That's why she doesn't care
who my Sasquatch kisses.
316
00:13:47,471 --> 00:13:49,571
- Squash your dishes?
- Never mind.
317
00:13:49,773 --> 00:13:52,708
Lacey sent me over
to tell you that...
318
00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:55,010
we're joining
our two floats together.
319
00:13:55,012 --> 00:13:57,513
But don't tell her I told you.
It's a surprise.
320
00:13:57,515 --> 00:14:01,085
That woman's a flake.
321
00:14:05,273 --> 00:14:09,276
You know, I did spend some
time pretending I was naked,
322
00:14:09,278 --> 00:14:12,546
and I feel great
now that I'm in clothes.
323
00:14:12,548 --> 00:14:15,382
Maybe Karen does know
what she's talking about.
324
00:14:15,384 --> 00:14:17,150
Speaking of Karen...
325
00:14:17,152 --> 00:14:19,686
she just joined the competition.
326
00:14:19,688 --> 00:14:25,091
- You're both going down!
- Are all of Fitzy's Foxes ready to...
327
00:14:25,093 --> 00:14:27,027
Karen, w-what are
you doing here?
328
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:28,228
I'm about to show these two
329
00:14:28,230 --> 00:14:31,431
- who the real beauty queen is.
- No, you're not.
330
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:35,001
Davis is parade marshal, so
I need someone on foot patrol.
331
00:14:35,003 --> 00:14:38,471
That's you. And you can't do
foot patrol wearing a crown
332
00:14:38,473 --> 00:14:40,407
in the back
of Anderson's convertible.
333
00:14:40,409 --> 00:14:44,377
Ugh!
Stupid jerkface Davis!
334
00:14:45,746 --> 00:14:49,449
Hey... you're not taking out
another "till loan," are you?
335
00:14:49,451 --> 00:14:51,351
Like you have this kind of cash.
336
00:14:51,353 --> 00:14:55,021
Red Whip sponsored the parade.
I knew my costume would work.
337
00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:58,325
- What are you, a blood fountain?
- I'm Whippy Shortstocking.
338
00:14:58,327 --> 00:15:00,460
I'm about to become
a beloved mascot...
339
00:15:00,462 --> 00:15:02,329
the Mr. Peanut of licorice.
340
00:15:02,331 --> 00:15:04,397
Is Mr. Peanut really that popular?
341
00:15:04,399 --> 00:15:07,067
Mr. Peanut's
coming to the parade?
342
00:15:07,069 --> 00:15:09,302
He's gonna see one of my floats?
343
00:15:09,304 --> 00:15:11,237
Nope.
But Whoop-dee Redsocks will.
344
00:15:11,239 --> 00:15:14,407
She's no Mr. Peanut.
345
00:15:14,409 --> 00:15:18,111
That guy's got style.
Oh, why did I come in here?
346
00:15:18,113 --> 00:15:20,880
Oh! Yeah. You lazy idiot,
get out here!
347
00:15:20,882 --> 00:15:23,783
- We've got to join our floats!
- Yeah, right behind you.
348
00:15:23,785 --> 00:15:26,319
You landed a sponsor?
Job well done.
349
00:15:26,321 --> 00:15:27,621
Oh, I'm not done.
350
00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:30,590
If I got this from a few
pictures, imagine what'll happen
351
00:15:30,592 --> 00:15:32,692
when I livestream
during the parade.
352
00:15:32,694 --> 00:15:34,494
Those corporate eggheads'll
sign me up
353
00:15:34,496 --> 00:15:36,162
to be their official mascot...
354
00:15:36,164 --> 00:15:39,099
and then I'll be making
San Diego Chicken money!
355
00:15:39,101 --> 00:15:40,033
Well, this is win-win.
356
00:15:40,035 --> 00:15:43,069
You get mascot money,
kids get free candy.
357
00:15:43,071 --> 00:15:48,517
Kids? No, no.
This kickback licorice is for mama.
358
00:15:52,279 --> 00:15:56,249
Wow, I nailed it!
Looks great.
359
00:15:56,251 --> 00:15:59,052
What do you think,
bright green bunny?
360
00:15:59,854 --> 00:16:05,125
Oh, I think you've inhaled
too many paint fumes.
361
00:16:05,127 --> 00:16:07,879
Step away from the vehicle!
362
00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:12,465
Ooh... neon bunny
makes a good point.
363
00:16:12,467 --> 00:16:13,967
I better get some air.
364
00:16:13,969 --> 00:16:16,903
Oh, man.
I'm so nervous.
365
00:16:16,905 --> 00:16:20,273
Shh! I'm getting into my smile.
366
00:16:20,275 --> 00:16:26,579
And now, our first
contestant, Emma Leroy!
367
00:16:34,121 --> 00:16:36,222
Emma!
What are you doing?
368
00:16:36,224 --> 00:16:39,092
Mavis and Helen are judging.
They'll never pick me
369
00:16:39,094 --> 00:16:41,528
after what I did to them
all those years ago.
370
00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:43,163
My dream is dead.
371
00:16:43,165 --> 00:16:45,999
- Hank!
- Attention, everyone!
372
00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:50,303
I pulled a hammy vaselining
my teeth, so I'm out.
373
00:16:50,305 --> 00:16:55,909
Emma Leroy
is Miss Dog River!
374
00:16:55,911 --> 00:16:57,277
♪ Look at her ♪
375
00:16:57,279 --> 00:16:59,012
♪ Parading around ♪
376
00:16:59,014 --> 00:17:01,848
♪ In her gown and crown ♪
377
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:04,384
♪ Smile on her face ♪
378
00:17:04,386 --> 00:17:07,687
♪ Like she owns the place... ♪
379
00:17:08,489 --> 00:17:10,156
I told you, the order goes:
380
00:17:10,158 --> 00:17:12,492
Fitzy on his scooty thing,
marching band,
381
00:17:12,494 --> 00:17:14,427
Won on a whale,
for some reason.
382
00:17:14,429 --> 00:17:17,163
Won doesn't want to be
behind the marching band.
383
00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:19,799
Something to do with the
wind and the spit valves.
384
00:17:19,801 --> 00:17:22,168
Well, just tell him
to keep his mouth shut.
385
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:25,038
- Alright...
- Lacey, come see our float.
386
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,941
Ta-da!
It's just what you asked for.
387
00:17:27,943 --> 00:17:30,910
I figured since you liked
Dad's idea so much,
388
00:17:30,912 --> 00:17:34,114
that we'd mash them together
into one megala-float.
389
00:17:34,116 --> 00:17:36,416
It's like a Megalodon,
but not a shark.
390
00:17:36,418 --> 00:17:40,854
Ugh! Oscar...
I told you not to tell him.
391
00:17:40,856 --> 00:17:42,655
And then you told him
to tell me
392
00:17:42,657 --> 00:17:46,860
to tell him what you told me!
Yeesh, this one!
393
00:17:46,862 --> 00:17:49,662
You did exactly what I said
you were going to do,
394
00:17:49,664 --> 00:17:52,866
and now you have to live
with the consequences.
395
00:17:55,603 --> 00:17:57,504
Hmm. Too heavy?
396
00:17:57,506 --> 00:18:01,074
Maybe if Sasquatch didn't
have three alien girlfriends,
397
00:18:01,076 --> 00:18:03,577
- this would've worked.
- Shaming Sasquatch about
398
00:18:03,578 --> 00:18:06,980
his polyamorous lifestyle
isn't going to help anything.
399
00:18:09,984 --> 00:18:12,685
Ugh! That's great!
"Come to The Ruby,
400
00:18:12,853 --> 00:18:15,455
where the coffee tastes
like Sasquatch pee."
401
00:18:15,457 --> 00:18:17,557
It tells a story!
402
00:18:21,479 --> 00:18:24,447
- Where's the cruiser?
- It's right here.
403
00:18:24,449 --> 00:18:27,884
Why wash it
when you can repaint it?
404
00:18:27,886 --> 00:18:29,519
I'm not just
a parade marshal,
405
00:18:29,521 --> 00:18:33,757
I'm a renegade billionaire
bat parade marshal.
406
00:18:34,992 --> 00:18:38,528
Congratulations.
Enjoy riding in this beauty.
407
00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:40,563
Enjoy driving this beauty.
408
00:18:40,565 --> 00:18:42,599
My first move as Miss Dog River
409
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:46,002
was to command Mr. Anderson
to let you drive the car.
410
00:18:46,004 --> 00:18:47,404
Whoa! Really?
411
00:18:47,406 --> 00:18:49,706
Does Miss Dog River
have that kind of power?
412
00:18:49,708 --> 00:18:52,475
Maybe. He might just be
scared of me personally.
413
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,481
Uh, hey, how fast
can we go in a parade?
414
00:18:58,483 --> 00:19:02,352
What's up,
Red Whip Licorice fans? Execs?
415
00:19:02,354 --> 00:19:05,088
It's me, Whippy Shortstocking,
416
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:08,158
your official mascot,
contract pending,
417
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,928
coming at ya live
from Dog River Days Parade!
418
00:19:13,164 --> 00:19:15,432
Whew, it's hot out here.
419
00:19:15,434 --> 00:19:18,101
Hey, kids!
I'm Whippy Shortstocking!
420
00:19:18,103 --> 00:19:19,536
Do you like licorice whips?
421
00:19:19,538 --> 00:19:22,138
Yeah, I love them!
Can I have some?
422
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:24,140
No. But you can have
a high-five
423
00:19:24,142 --> 00:19:27,110
or a warm, sticky hug.
Dealer's choice.
424
00:19:27,112 --> 00:19:29,179
You're supposed to give us candy.
425
00:19:29,181 --> 00:19:31,381
Yeah, where's
the candy, freakshow?
426
00:19:31,383 --> 00:19:32,248
- Yeah!
- Aah!
427
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,117
Hey! Wait a minute.
428
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,186
Candy! Candy! Candy!
429
00:19:36,188 --> 00:19:37,821
Oh! Hey. Ow!
Hey! Stop that!
430
00:19:37,823 --> 00:19:41,224
My hair's not edible!
Those are pool noodles!
431
00:19:41,226 --> 00:19:43,159
Help! Anyone!
432
00:19:43,161 --> 00:19:46,329
- Help me!
- Okay, kids, settle down.
433
00:19:46,331 --> 00:19:49,099
Wanda, give 'em the candy,
and they'll stop.
434
00:19:49,101 --> 00:19:52,535
No! That's my candy.
It's my kickback.
435
00:19:52,537 --> 00:19:54,437
Well, you're getting
plenty of kicks back now.
436
00:19:54,439 --> 00:19:58,108
- Enjoy!
- No! Karen!
437
00:19:58,110 --> 00:19:59,676
Ah-ha-ha!
438
00:20:01,579 --> 00:20:05,115
Renegade bat
parade marshal coming through!
439
00:20:05,117 --> 00:20:09,552
One side, citizens.
Do not approach the mayor.
440
00:20:10,921 --> 00:20:13,556
Ahh! Ah...
441
00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:17,460
Make sure you stop by
Corner Gas and The Ruby
442
00:20:17,462 --> 00:20:18,462
to see our float...
443
00:20:18,529 --> 00:20:21,598
which tells you to stop by
Corner Gas and The Ruby.
444
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,033
And know that the float
at Corner Gas
445
00:20:24,035 --> 00:20:26,770
was built by the jackass
in front of me.
446
00:20:26,772 --> 00:20:31,411
- They don't need to know that!
- Lacey told me to tell 'em.
447
00:20:33,751 --> 00:20:36,085
Here.
Is that your mascot money?
448
00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:38,855
No.
It's a cease-and-desist letter.
449
00:20:38,857 --> 00:20:41,991
I have to destroy the costume!
The execs at Red Whip feel
450
00:20:41,993 --> 00:20:44,827
I used "excessive force"
against "small children."
451
00:20:44,829 --> 00:20:47,063
There's no mention of the fact
that they started it.
452
00:20:47,065 --> 00:20:48,731
Well, you're still
better off than Hank.
453
00:20:48,733 --> 00:20:51,768
None of this would've happened
if I was Mr. Dog River.
454
00:20:51,770 --> 00:20:54,637
Exactly how did you crash a
car going four miles an hour?
455
00:20:54,639 --> 00:20:57,274
Maybe I was distracted
by the melting candy woman
456
00:20:57,275 --> 00:21:00,610
- fighting children.
- Hey! Now, no need to argue.
457
00:21:00,612 --> 00:21:03,145
You're both equally ridiculous.
458
00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:07,984
♪ I don't know ♪
459
00:21:07,986 --> 00:21:10,053
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
460
00:21:13,791 --> 00:21:15,759
♪ I don't know ♪
461
00:21:15,761 --> 00:21:18,795
♪ I just... don't know ♪
462
00:21:21,232 --> 00:21:23,789
♪ Ooh ♪
463
00:21:23,790 --> 00:21:27,104
- ♪ It's a great big place ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
464
00:21:27,206 --> 00:21:30,941
- ♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
465
00:21:31,043 --> 00:21:34,911
- ♪ And it's my happy place ♪
- ♪ I don't know ♪
466
00:21:36,091 --> 00:21:39,351
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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