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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,464 --> 00:00:03,464 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:15,844 --> 00:00:17,544 Freeze! 3 00:00:18,013 --> 00:00:19,147 I mean, stay. 4 00:00:19,148 --> 00:00:22,716 Boy, that GPS tracking tag we put his collar really works. 5 00:00:22,717 --> 00:00:26,120 - That's a good boy. - Thanks. 6 00:00:26,121 --> 00:00:27,555 I was talking to the dog. 7 00:00:27,556 --> 00:00:29,322 Come on, Hunter. Let's get you home. 8 00:00:29,324 --> 00:00:32,093 - Wanna go for a ride, buddy? - Sure. Where are we going? 9 00:00:32,094 --> 00:00:33,727 Nope, still the dog. 10 00:00:33,728 --> 00:00:37,497 ♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪ 11 00:00:37,499 --> 00:00:40,833 ♪ Look closer, baby you're so wrong ♪ 12 00:00:40,835 --> 00:00:44,206 2x09 - Tag You're I.T. 13 00:00:53,247 --> 00:00:55,214 So scaring the kitty with vegetables 14 00:00:55,216 --> 00:00:56,649 is your idea of a good time? 15 00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:58,383 Why is the cat afraid of a cucumber? 16 00:00:58,385 --> 00:01:00,452 Kale is far more terrifying. 17 00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:03,189 - Where do you find this stuff, Mom? - Mew Tube. 18 00:01:03,190 --> 00:01:06,091 The only place to find all the cute cat videos. 19 00:01:06,093 --> 00:01:09,329 Yeah, 'cause cat videos are a real rarity on the Internet. 20 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:10,796 It's just harmless good fun. 21 00:01:10,797 --> 00:01:13,265 If you want good fun, it needs to be harmful. 22 00:01:13,267 --> 00:01:15,651 The funniest videos online are dudes getting 23 00:01:15,652 --> 00:01:18,138 sacked in the 'nads. Timeless classic. 24 00:01:18,139 --> 00:01:20,173 There's an entire website dedicated to it 25 00:01:20,174 --> 00:01:21,441 called "Hard in the Nards." 26 00:01:21,442 --> 00:01:24,276 Mom, maybe don't Google "Hard" or "Nards." 27 00:01:24,278 --> 00:01:27,346 People getting hurt isn't funny. It's just plain stupid. 28 00:01:27,347 --> 00:01:29,047 Well, stupid's where it's at online. 29 00:01:29,049 --> 00:01:31,817 Here, let me show you one that's the best of both worlds. 30 00:01:31,818 --> 00:01:34,386 It's a video of a cat clamped onto a guy's crotch. 31 00:01:35,789 --> 00:01:38,357 Uh-oh. 32 00:01:39,860 --> 00:01:41,293 Aah! Where did you all... 33 00:01:41,294 --> 00:01:43,529 - This is an outrage! - I'm in a Facebook flame war. 34 00:01:43,530 --> 00:01:47,099 - Interrupting my sexy chats! - Whoa, whoa. 35 00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:49,333 Can someone rational please explain what's going on? 36 00:01:49,335 --> 00:01:53,458 - I don't know where you think you... - I said "someone rational." 37 00:01:54,107 --> 00:01:56,375 - You'll have to do. - This massive, 38 00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:58,142 but not out-of-character, overreaction 39 00:01:58,144 --> 00:02:01,180 - is because the WiFi is down. - You need to reboot your router. 40 00:02:01,181 --> 00:02:04,215 Ah. Okay, that sounds reasonable. 41 00:02:04,217 --> 00:02:05,983 WiFi should be back up in a jiffy. 42 00:02:05,985 --> 00:02:08,353 Aah! My god. 43 00:02:08,354 --> 00:02:10,788 What else happens in this town when my back is turned? 44 00:02:10,790 --> 00:02:13,225 Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. 45 00:02:13,226 --> 00:02:16,360 Why is everyone so upset about my WiFi being down? 46 00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:17,929 They didn't even stick around to use it. 47 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,799 Oh, uh, we don't have to be here to use your WiFi. 48 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,867 You don't? Where does it reach? 49 00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:25,903 Main Street, bar... my bathroom. 50 00:02:25,905 --> 00:02:29,906 - Kinda weak in my basement. - My WiFi can't travel that far. 51 00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:30,808 No, no. 52 00:02:30,809 --> 00:02:32,742 That's why we installed the signal booster. 53 00:02:32,744 --> 00:02:34,422 The what? 54 00:02:34,423 --> 00:02:37,076 You mean I'm paying for the entire town's WiFi? 55 00:02:37,111 --> 00:02:38,481 We paid for the signal booster! 56 00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:42,319 - And everyone knows about this? - Everyone but you, apparently. 57 00:02:42,321 --> 00:02:43,887 We thought you were okay with this. 58 00:02:43,888 --> 00:02:45,889 Yeah. Why are you shocked 59 00:02:45,890 --> 00:02:48,792 that people are using your open WiFi? Brace yourself: 60 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,791 they use your ketchup and napkins too. 61 00:02:50,826 --> 00:02:55,064 Yeah, when they're here. These are free things for paying customers. 62 00:02:55,066 --> 00:02:58,602 We are customers. Just sometimes, we're customers at home. 63 00:02:58,604 --> 00:03:01,571 Yeah, we're not all married to our careers. 64 00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:06,675 If I turn around again, will you all disappear? 65 00:03:09,543 --> 00:03:13,387 I promise this won't happen again. 66 00:03:14,404 --> 00:03:17,917 You're right. That GPS tag made it a real time-saver. 67 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,687 Just think, if we tagged everyone in town, 68 00:03:20,688 --> 00:03:22,989 we'd always know where everyone was. 69 00:03:22,991 --> 00:03:24,657 That would make our job way easier. 70 00:03:24,658 --> 00:03:28,995 Except that would be a highly illegal and massive invasion of privacy. 71 00:03:28,997 --> 00:03:31,498 Oh. Right, but consider this: 72 00:03:31,499 --> 00:03:34,733 I assumed you'd be on board, and I've done it already. 73 00:03:34,735 --> 00:03:37,235 Ah! Aah! Oh! Aah! 74 00:03:40,173 --> 00:03:43,442 - It's not even a cute cat. - Or a cute crotch, 75 00:03:43,443 --> 00:03:45,277 but look at how many views it's gotten. 76 00:03:45,279 --> 00:03:48,080 - I just don't see what the point is. - The point is, 77 00:03:48,081 --> 00:03:49,481 sometimes you can make a lot of money 78 00:03:49,482 --> 00:03:51,783 and get famous from a single dumb video. 79 00:03:51,785 --> 00:03:52,919 You can? 80 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,521 - Ready to go? - Let's get our stupid on. 81 00:03:56,523 --> 00:03:58,390 Hmm.... 82 00:03:59,993 --> 00:04:02,894 Time to make a wish. 83 00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:09,531 Hmm... 84 00:04:13,436 --> 00:04:16,371 Watching you with technology is more entertaining 85 00:04:16,372 --> 00:04:18,172 than these videos I'm enjoying... 86 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:22,610 - for free... on your open WiFi. - Enjoy it while you can, 87 00:04:22,612 --> 00:04:25,345 'cause I'm putting a password on this thing. 88 00:04:25,347 --> 00:04:26,882 As soon as I find its keyboard. 89 00:04:26,883 --> 00:04:29,517 Great, looks like I'll just have enough time to watch 90 00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:31,285 the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. 91 00:04:32,589 --> 00:04:35,022 The director's cut. 92 00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:38,492 How on earth did you manage to tag so many people? 93 00:04:38,494 --> 00:04:43,064 I gave them friendship bracelets. The GPS tags are in the charm. 94 00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:46,066 If they're friendship bracelets, why didn't you give me one? 95 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,569 You're a work friend. Don't make this weird. 96 00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:50,870 You can't track people without them knowing. 97 00:04:50,872 --> 00:04:54,507 This is really, really, really illegal. 98 00:04:54,509 --> 00:04:58,011 If it helps the police, how illegal can it be? 99 00:04:58,013 --> 00:05:01,381 - I said three "reallies." - When we're in the car, 100 00:05:01,382 --> 00:05:03,249 we have the right to surveil people. 101 00:05:03,251 --> 00:05:05,853 What's the difference doing it from the comfort of our desks 102 00:05:05,854 --> 00:05:08,955 using technology in way that it wasn't intended? 103 00:05:08,957 --> 00:05:10,992 Because it's... Hang on. 104 00:05:10,993 --> 00:05:12,326 That's Rheena, Michelle, and Mavis. 105 00:05:12,327 --> 00:05:15,428 At Rheena's. What are they up to? 106 00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:18,464 - Maybe they're a girl gang. - That's everyone from book club. 107 00:05:18,466 --> 00:05:20,399 They said it was cancelled this week. 108 00:05:20,401 --> 00:05:24,303 Probably discussing "Let's Get Together and Back-Stab Our Friend." 109 00:05:24,305 --> 00:05:26,507 Yech, that's a terrible title. 110 00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:32,678 Just think, we could become huge Internet celebrities. 111 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,148 I could be bigger than that epic mealtime guy! 112 00:05:36,184 --> 00:05:38,951 I'm comin' after your viewers, Harley! 113 00:05:39,487 --> 00:05:43,289 Who the hell is Hank Yarbo, and how is he stealing all my viewers? 114 00:05:44,259 --> 00:05:45,526 Whoa... 115 00:05:45,527 --> 00:05:48,027 He took that puck in the nuts like a champ. 116 00:05:48,029 --> 00:05:50,329 I'm inspired. 117 00:05:50,331 --> 00:05:52,932 Hey, guys! We're making a giant burrito. 118 00:05:52,933 --> 00:05:56,001 It'll be a hockey bag full of pucks and nuts, 119 00:05:56,003 --> 00:05:57,436 covered in gravy. 120 00:05:57,437 --> 00:06:01,506 I'm calling it... the Yarbo. 121 00:06:03,010 --> 00:06:05,178 Hey! I was still musing! 122 00:06:05,179 --> 00:06:07,446 It's my turn. I'm going to be bigger 123 00:06:07,447 --> 00:06:09,447 than vlogging sensation Casey Neistat. 124 00:06:11,518 --> 00:06:13,351 Ah, I can't concentrate, I'm too excited. 125 00:06:13,353 --> 00:06:15,521 Okay, let's do this. Spread your legs, 126 00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:16,856 and pretend I'm not aiming for your crotch. 127 00:06:16,857 --> 00:06:20,225 Hang on. Why are we wingin' the puck at my junk? 128 00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:23,195 How am I going to wing a puck at my own junk? 129 00:06:23,197 --> 00:06:28,099 - Yeah, I guess you got a point. - It's just physics, buddy. 130 00:06:29,736 --> 00:06:33,304 Does anyone in here know how to put a stupid password 131 00:06:33,306 --> 00:06:35,671 into a stupid router? 132 00:06:36,176 --> 00:06:39,912 - With no strings attached? - And that would benefit us how? 133 00:06:39,913 --> 00:06:43,147 Fine. What are your strings? 134 00:06:43,149 --> 00:06:45,183 One string, very reasonable. 135 00:06:47,687 --> 00:06:51,190 - Hey! The WiFi is locked. - Is it? 136 00:06:51,191 --> 00:06:53,225 Huh. I'm online. 137 00:06:53,226 --> 00:06:57,695 Oh, that's right. I'm the only one who has the password. 138 00:06:57,697 --> 00:07:03,222 I and I alone have access to the World Wide Web. 139 00:07:07,139 --> 00:07:09,673 - I have it too. - Well, of course you... 140 00:07:09,674 --> 00:07:12,075 Geez, I was having a friggin' moment over here. 141 00:07:14,552 --> 00:07:15,786 Unbelievable. 142 00:07:15,787 --> 00:07:18,555 Michelle said she was going to the city to buy a romper, 143 00:07:18,556 --> 00:07:20,991 but according to this, she stayed home. 144 00:07:20,993 --> 00:07:24,560 Huh, probably just sewed a shirt to her shorts. 145 00:07:24,562 --> 00:07:27,098 Here you go, guys. Hey! 146 00:07:27,099 --> 00:07:29,767 Are you on my WiFi? How did you crack the password? 147 00:07:29,768 --> 00:07:32,067 Ease up on the paranoia there, Mr. Robot. 148 00:07:32,069 --> 00:07:35,670 We don't need WiFi. This tracking system works on GPS. 149 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:36,940 What are you tracking? 150 00:07:36,941 --> 00:07:38,541 - People. - Davis! 151 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:41,344 Whoops! Don't tell anyone. Legal reasons. 152 00:07:41,345 --> 00:07:43,279 Wait, are you tracking me? 153 00:07:43,281 --> 00:07:45,981 No, I wouldn't do that to a friend. 154 00:07:45,983 --> 00:07:51,453 - Here, have a friendship bracelet. - Aww, that's sweet. 155 00:07:51,455 --> 00:07:53,890 Hey, since we're friends, what's the WiFi password? 156 00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,591 Nice try. 157 00:07:56,294 --> 00:07:59,261 "N-I-C-E... Hmm... 158 00:08:00,197 --> 00:08:02,065 That's odd. According to Zeke's tracker, 159 00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:03,999 he's been in that dumpster for hours. 160 00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:06,736 Hmm. He's usually only in there 20 minutes, tops. 161 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:09,672 You better investigate that. I'll stay here 162 00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:12,173 and keep track of Michelle's web of lies. 163 00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:13,142 I'm on it. 164 00:08:13,143 --> 00:08:15,645 And let Lacey know her password doesn't work. 165 00:08:17,314 --> 00:08:20,615 Hey, Lacey, I'm putting together a film crew 166 00:08:20,617 --> 00:08:22,684 to shoot a viral video of Oscar. 167 00:08:22,686 --> 00:08:26,288 Do you know anyone with a movie camera, and some lights? 168 00:08:26,289 --> 00:08:27,557 Probably going to need one of those best boys 169 00:08:27,558 --> 00:08:28,858 I keep hearing about. 170 00:08:28,859 --> 00:08:30,526 Oh, sure, I can get you all that. 171 00:08:30,527 --> 00:08:32,862 Plus a crane jib, and James Cameron to direct. 172 00:08:32,863 --> 00:08:36,031 - No, no, I'll be directing. - You don't need all that. 173 00:08:36,032 --> 00:08:38,099 You can just shoot a video with your phone. 174 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:41,402 I can? Movie camera and egg timer? 175 00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:43,171 This is one hell of a rig. 176 00:08:44,046 --> 00:08:47,716 Your fluffy cousin tried to kill me! This is payback! 177 00:08:47,717 --> 00:08:49,750 H'yah! Tell your friends! 178 00:08:49,752 --> 00:08:51,952 Oscar, can you come here? 179 00:08:53,556 --> 00:08:57,691 The old "step-on-a-rake, smack-in-the-puss" routine. 180 00:08:57,693 --> 00:09:00,361 Come on, stupid. Find your mark. 181 00:09:01,364 --> 00:09:03,765 Oh... Well, this could hurt someone. 182 00:09:03,766 --> 00:09:04,933 Dammit. 183 00:09:04,934 --> 00:09:07,736 You left the rake on the... Whoa! 184 00:09:07,737 --> 00:09:09,437 Dammit! 185 00:09:09,506 --> 00:09:12,140 Dammit! 186 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:19,751 Huh? Oh... Oh! 187 00:09:19,752 --> 00:09:22,053 Hmm... Something's off. 188 00:09:22,054 --> 00:09:23,921 - Are you wearing a cup? - No. 189 00:09:23,922 --> 00:09:25,757 Who's there? 190 00:09:25,758 --> 00:09:28,192 Okay, I'm wearing a cup. I might have kids someday. 191 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,993 I don't want them coming out dented. 192 00:09:29,995 --> 00:09:31,695 You want to go viral or not? 193 00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:37,067 Okay, let me explain the concept of a nut shot. 194 00:09:37,069 --> 00:09:40,036 I provide the shot, and you provide the rest. 195 00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,773 Wouldn't a shot to the noggin be just as entertaining? 196 00:09:42,774 --> 00:09:44,875 - Ah! - Nope. 197 00:09:46,678 --> 00:09:48,945 Oh man! I can't believe how long 198 00:09:48,946 --> 00:09:51,747 that cat stays clamped on this guy's crotch. 199 00:09:51,749 --> 00:09:53,649 Hang in there, kitty! 200 00:09:53,651 --> 00:09:56,219 You got WiFi? Wanna set up a hotspot for me? 201 00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:58,220 Not as much as I wanna tell you to get stuffed. 202 00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,122 The information highway's a lot faster 203 00:10:00,124 --> 00:10:02,458 without all you Winnebagos clogging it up. 204 00:10:02,459 --> 00:10:03,326 Beat it. 205 00:10:04,696 --> 00:10:06,662 Ah, should have gotten her to pay for those chips. 206 00:10:06,664 --> 00:10:08,765 Ah, well. Whoa-ho! 207 00:10:08,766 --> 00:10:11,067 That cat's still latched on there. 208 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,669 Whew! How much longer does this... 209 00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:13,937 Eight more minutes? 210 00:10:14,258 --> 00:10:16,158 Anything to eat today? 211 00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:17,727 What's the point of going out for lunch 212 00:10:17,728 --> 00:10:20,429 if you can't post pictures of your food online? 213 00:10:20,431 --> 00:10:24,334 - You could talk to your wife. - We have been talking. 214 00:10:24,335 --> 00:10:26,067 About how there's no free WiFi. 215 00:10:26,069 --> 00:10:29,604 Hmm, well, maybe if you both ordered burgers and fries, 216 00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:32,541 and dessert, and tipped 20%, 217 00:10:32,543 --> 00:10:36,691 - I could do a little something for you. - Intriguing. 218 00:10:36,726 --> 00:10:38,580 Could you also give me the password? 219 00:10:38,582 --> 00:10:40,049 That's what I meant. 220 00:10:40,050 --> 00:10:41,984 What did you think the "little something" was? 221 00:10:41,985 --> 00:10:44,719 Yeah, Won. What did you think? 222 00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:47,989 Don't share this with anyone, 223 00:10:47,991 --> 00:10:50,257 or I'll have to change the password. 224 00:10:50,259 --> 00:10:52,360 Like you know how to change the password. 225 00:10:52,362 --> 00:10:55,423 - Okay, we promise. - Hmm. 226 00:10:57,567 --> 00:11:00,668 Turns out Zeke's not dead in a dumpster, 227 00:11:00,670 --> 00:11:03,671 - but my heart is. - You should notify his next of kin. 228 00:11:03,673 --> 00:11:06,241 I said he's not... Are you listening to me? 229 00:11:06,242 --> 00:11:09,176 Zeke threw my friendship bracelet in the garbage. 230 00:11:09,178 --> 00:11:10,545 Maybe he's not into jewelry 231 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:12,513 that looks like it was made by a seven-year old girl. 232 00:11:12,515 --> 00:11:15,048 I don't know about this tracking thing. 233 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:18,986 Are you kidding me? You're a genius for coming up with this. 234 00:11:18,988 --> 00:11:21,089 See? Looks great on me. 235 00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:22,790 Brings out the colour of my wrist. 236 00:11:22,792 --> 00:11:25,026 I don't know. It doesn't feel like it's paying off. 237 00:11:26,628 --> 00:11:29,263 Uh-oh. Rheena's about to park illegally. 238 00:11:29,265 --> 00:11:31,599 You could write the ticket on the way to give it to her. 239 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,902 That would give me time to make a new bracelet for Zeke, 240 00:11:34,904 --> 00:11:37,437 with more masculine colours. 241 00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:39,707 Go get 'em, tiger! 242 00:11:42,811 --> 00:11:45,979 That's it. Say good night, Gilligan. 243 00:11:45,981 --> 00:11:47,215 This'll be gold. 244 00:11:48,884 --> 00:11:53,341 Oh, whoa... Yeah. 245 00:11:53,376 --> 00:11:55,639 Seriously? When has any human ever 246 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,384 gotten in a hammock without... 247 00:11:58,493 --> 00:11:59,627 Grr... 248 00:11:59,628 --> 00:12:01,694 Ow! 249 00:12:04,365 --> 00:12:06,599 Psst! Here's the password. 250 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,270 No sharesies. 251 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,640 Ugh, dammit, woman! 252 00:12:13,642 --> 00:12:17,343 Why bring me lemonade if I can't reach it?! 253 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:20,379 Wait until he finds out it's not lemonade. 254 00:12:20,381 --> 00:12:22,281 Stalking anyone in particular, Mom? 255 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,852 You scared the bejesus out of me. Quit being so sneaky. 256 00:12:25,854 --> 00:12:27,720 Says the woman crouched in a shrub. 257 00:12:29,991 --> 00:12:32,526 Do you know how long I've been in here trying 258 00:12:32,527 --> 00:12:35,061 to get a video of Oscar falling out of that hammock? 259 00:12:35,063 --> 00:12:36,463 Oh, sorry I interrupted. 260 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:40,149 That would have been... hilarious. 261 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,702 Mom's got a ringer. 262 00:12:42,703 --> 00:12:44,271 Dad. It's only a matter of time 263 00:12:44,272 --> 00:12:47,906 before she gets a video of him doing something stupid. 264 00:12:47,908 --> 00:12:49,875 If her video goes viral before ours, 265 00:12:49,877 --> 00:12:51,877 I'll never hear the end of it. 266 00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:54,180 We've got to ratchet this up. 267 00:12:54,182 --> 00:12:58,050 - Did you run all the way here? - No, I drove, 268 00:12:58,052 --> 00:13:00,753 but you've got a long driveway. Whew. 269 00:13:03,091 --> 00:13:05,724 I see you leaving that bakery, Michelle. 270 00:13:05,726 --> 00:13:08,027 Gluten-free, my ass. 271 00:13:08,028 --> 00:13:11,196 Well, that was a waste of time. 272 00:13:11,198 --> 00:13:12,699 Didn't you give Rheena a ticket? 273 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:15,451 I tried, but she hadn't parked yet, and said I couldn't 274 00:13:15,452 --> 00:13:18,203 give her a ticket for thinking about doing a crime. 275 00:13:18,205 --> 00:13:19,438 Then we spent half an hour 276 00:13:19,439 --> 00:13:22,207 arguing the plausibility of Minority Report. 277 00:13:22,209 --> 00:13:23,909 It didn't save me any time, 278 00:13:23,911 --> 00:13:27,846 and Rheena's extra mad at me. This GPS thing sucks. 279 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,149 - I'm shutting it down. - No! 280 00:13:30,150 --> 00:13:32,183 I finally know what everyone is up to. 281 00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:34,737 Not everyone, because not everyone 282 00:13:34,738 --> 00:13:36,627 - in town has a bracelet. - What? 283 00:13:36,662 --> 00:13:38,940 Who doesn't have a bracelet, and what are they doing? 284 00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:40,563 You need to buy more tracking tags. 285 00:13:40,598 --> 00:13:43,128 Forget it. The power's gone to your head. 286 00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:47,266 - Also, it's too much work. - Oh, you're right. 287 00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:50,269 Ugh, can't believe how sucked into this technology I got. 288 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:52,971 - Give me the car keys. - Why? 289 00:13:52,972 --> 00:13:54,540 I need to get away from the screen. 290 00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:57,398 Clear my head, maybe take a nap. 291 00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:02,580 What the... What's with the endless buffering? 292 00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:05,884 Are you online? How'd you get the password? 293 00:14:05,885 --> 00:14:09,155 - What are you, CSIS? - What's CSIS? 294 00:14:09,156 --> 00:14:11,923 That's just what someone in CSIS would say. 295 00:14:11,925 --> 00:14:13,926 All you have to do is order a lot of food, 296 00:14:13,927 --> 00:14:15,261 and Lacey will give you the password. 297 00:14:15,262 --> 00:14:18,695 - But don't tell anyone. - Tell no one. 298 00:14:18,697 --> 00:14:22,032 What's a gal gotta do to monopolize the Internet around here? 299 00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:24,501 Merge with Time Warner? 300 00:14:28,941 --> 00:14:31,007 Huh? Hunter? 301 00:14:31,009 --> 00:14:34,193 I am not chasing that dog again. 302 00:14:34,228 --> 00:14:36,580 Don't... 303 00:14:36,582 --> 00:14:38,983 Don't you... Don't even... 304 00:14:40,752 --> 00:14:44,155 Oh, great. Now I have to give Helen a ticket 305 00:14:44,156 --> 00:14:46,756 for not picking up after her stupid dog. 306 00:14:46,758 --> 00:14:49,694 This program's killing me. 307 00:14:49,695 --> 00:14:51,561 Why is Zeke the highway? 308 00:14:51,563 --> 00:14:55,131 Wait. Karen has Zeke's bracelet. 309 00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:59,136 Where is she going? 310 00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:04,401 So... Frodo is about to throw the ring into the river of fire, 311 00:15:04,402 --> 00:15:06,502 when he changes his mind and keeps it, 312 00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:09,739 and that sense of betrayal Samwise felt 313 00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:12,708 is not unlike what's burning in my chest right now! 314 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:15,278 Aw, are you talking about the Godfather? 315 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:16,814 No, that's Fredo! 316 00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:19,048 But there's also betrayal in the Godfather, 317 00:15:19,050 --> 00:15:21,351 so let's go with that. Bottom line, 318 00:15:21,352 --> 00:15:24,121 you gave up the password. You Fredoed me. 319 00:15:24,122 --> 00:15:25,589 Aw, I'm sorry. 320 00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:27,589 It only seemed fair to make people order food 321 00:15:27,591 --> 00:15:30,458 since I'm the only one paying for WiFi! 322 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:32,527 Well, I'm going to change the password, 323 00:15:32,529 --> 00:15:34,897 and I'm not telling anyone what it is, 324 00:15:34,899 --> 00:15:38,334 including you, Frodo. Uh, Fredo. 325 00:15:38,335 --> 00:15:39,435 Where did we leave off with this? 326 00:15:39,436 --> 00:15:41,270 You can't just shut me out of my own WiFi. 327 00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:46,008 Oops, just did, and you're never going to guess the password. 328 00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:50,078 - Is it "Lacey betrayed me?" - Not anymore. 329 00:15:52,249 --> 00:15:55,951 So, you want me to jump off the ladder onto a ball, 330 00:15:55,953 --> 00:15:57,320 bounce onto the skateboard, 331 00:15:57,321 --> 00:15:58,788 roll through a hoop of fire, 332 00:15:58,789 --> 00:16:01,523 and smash crotch-first into a teeter-totter? 333 00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:03,558 Yeah, but make it look natural. 334 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,027 I don't think hula hoops burst into flames naturally. 335 00:16:06,029 --> 00:16:07,229 You're overthinking. 336 00:16:07,230 --> 00:16:11,132 You're too aware of what's... Hold on, that's the problem! 337 00:16:11,134 --> 00:16:13,077 It's also the solution. 338 00:16:18,174 --> 00:16:20,343 - Hey, Dad! - What? 339 00:16:20,344 --> 00:16:22,144 How's it going with that prank video Mom's 340 00:16:22,145 --> 00:16:23,945 shooting of you that you're now totally aware of? 341 00:16:23,947 --> 00:16:25,314 You son of a bitch. 342 00:16:25,315 --> 00:16:29,219 Hey, don't talk about my mom like that. 343 00:16:32,955 --> 00:16:34,788 You're trying to make me look stupid?! 344 00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:36,223 You always look stupid. 345 00:16:36,224 --> 00:16:38,458 I just want to share you with the world. 346 00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:40,995 How many views does an old man yelling usually get? 347 00:16:40,996 --> 00:16:42,930 Depends if that hand-in-the-water trick works, 348 00:16:42,932 --> 00:16:45,666 - and he wets himself. - Who wet himself? 349 00:16:45,668 --> 00:16:47,801 And why am I getting a manicure? 350 00:16:47,803 --> 00:16:51,205 We had an agreement. We order too much food, 351 00:16:51,206 --> 00:16:55,642 - and you give us free WiFi. - Well, you had free WiFi, 352 00:16:55,644 --> 00:16:57,111 and you got a delicious meal, 353 00:16:57,112 --> 00:17:00,414 - so everyone should be happy! - We're not. 354 00:17:00,415 --> 00:17:03,250 - You owe us WiFi. - Lacey stole our WiFi! 355 00:17:03,251 --> 00:17:05,018 - Give us our WiFi back. - Yeah! 356 00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:07,120 You've been stealing my Internet for years. 357 00:17:07,122 --> 00:17:09,755 This is all because of that stupid signal booster. 358 00:17:09,757 --> 00:17:11,490 Oh, I should go smash it. 359 00:17:11,492 --> 00:17:14,293 Yeah, but you don't know where it is. 360 00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:22,235 Oh, don't I? I'm going there right now 361 00:17:22,236 --> 00:17:26,372 to smash it into a million pieces. If you want to stop me, 362 00:17:26,373 --> 00:17:29,441 you're going to have to get there first. 363 00:17:30,678 --> 00:17:33,046 - She's bluffing. - Or is she? 364 00:17:33,047 --> 00:17:35,447 Are you calling my bluff on the bluffing? 365 00:17:36,084 --> 00:17:37,317 Film all you want. 366 00:17:37,318 --> 00:17:40,119 I'm not gonna be the star of your dumb thing. 367 00:17:40,121 --> 00:17:41,954 The competition is out. 368 00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:43,922 Hank, go run 'nad-first into that tree! 369 00:17:43,924 --> 00:17:46,993 What? W-We talked about this. I'm too aware. 370 00:17:46,994 --> 00:17:48,094 Then close your eyes and run into the tree. 371 00:17:48,095 --> 00:17:50,509 Forget it! I'm out too. 372 00:17:53,233 --> 00:17:55,934 So... you went and bought more tags 373 00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:59,805 - to track the rest of the town, huh? - What? No! 374 00:17:59,806 --> 00:18:03,842 Aw, man! Have you been tracking me this entire time? 375 00:18:03,844 --> 00:18:07,879 That is not a friendly way to dispose of a friendship bracelet. 376 00:18:07,881 --> 00:18:10,382 - Did you see everywhere I went? - If you're asking 377 00:18:10,383 --> 00:18:13,819 if I know that you went to a laser hair removal place, then no. 378 00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:17,522 Okay, wow. This really is an invasion of privacy. 379 00:18:17,524 --> 00:18:21,725 - Experiment over. - Oh, thank god. 380 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,928 - Friends again? - Work friends. 381 00:18:23,929 --> 00:18:24,863 Good enough. 382 00:18:24,864 --> 00:18:27,831 Then, as your friend, I have to say, 383 00:18:27,833 --> 00:18:30,402 laser hair removal? Why? 384 00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:32,170 You can barely see your mustache. 385 00:18:32,172 --> 00:18:35,906 This is the longest you've gone without being an idiot, Oscar. 386 00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:38,410 - Knock it off! - Come on, Hank. 387 00:18:38,411 --> 00:18:40,078 Just follow your natural doofus instinct. 388 00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:41,513 I don't have to take this. 389 00:18:41,514 --> 00:18:44,014 The verbal abuse, the physical abuse. 390 00:18:44,016 --> 00:18:45,645 If you want to film something, 391 00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:48,753 film me walking away. Whoa! 392 00:18:50,823 --> 00:18:52,424 Aah! Cucumber! 393 00:18:52,425 --> 00:18:54,992 Aah! Kale! 394 00:18:54,993 --> 00:18:57,328 - Did you get it? - I got it! Did you get it? 395 00:18:57,329 --> 00:18:59,029 - I did! - We both got it! 396 00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,130 The production value on this 397 00:19:00,131 --> 00:19:02,566 will get us to the top of "Hard in the Nards." 398 00:19:02,568 --> 00:19:05,879 Again, I can't stress enough. Do not Google any of that. 399 00:19:06,405 --> 00:19:08,905 I need to see that tracking thingie. 400 00:19:08,907 --> 00:19:10,474 Oh, we're not doing that anymore. 401 00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:13,076 I need to know where everyone in town is going. 402 00:19:13,078 --> 00:19:15,812 Trust me, you don't want to know. 403 00:19:15,814 --> 00:19:19,835 - Show me! - Jeez, okay. 404 00:19:19,884 --> 00:19:23,920 - Explain how this works. - This is you at the police station. 405 00:19:23,922 --> 00:19:26,723 The other blue dots are whoever's wearing a tag. 406 00:19:26,725 --> 00:19:28,924 Looks like a mob of them are coming down Main Street. 407 00:19:30,994 --> 00:19:32,847 They're coming towards the police station. 408 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:38,367 But... they're supposed to go towards the booster. 409 00:19:38,369 --> 00:19:39,436 Unless... 410 00:19:39,437 --> 00:19:41,104 Eight metres. 411 00:19:41,105 --> 00:19:43,205 Six metres. 412 00:19:43,207 --> 00:19:44,907 Two metres! 413 00:19:44,908 --> 00:19:47,776 That can't be. That's inside the room. 414 00:19:47,778 --> 00:19:49,478 It's reading right, man! 415 00:19:51,882 --> 00:19:55,618 They're on the roof. Wait, where'd Lacey go? 416 00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,687 Ha ha! Suckers! 417 00:19:57,688 --> 00:19:59,356 I knew you'd want to protect the booster. 418 00:19:59,357 --> 00:20:01,822 The tracking devices Karen and Davis put on you 419 00:20:01,824 --> 00:20:05,360 - led me right to it. - Tracking devices? 420 00:20:05,361 --> 00:20:07,061 We're being monitored? 421 00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:10,399 Uh... don't you have a booster box to protect? 422 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,433 Too late! Ha ha! 423 00:20:15,305 --> 00:20:18,565 There. WiFi problem solved. 424 00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:24,812 Oh, is it? I'm still the only one with the password. 425 00:20:24,814 --> 00:20:27,415 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 426 00:20:27,417 --> 00:20:32,453 - And I'm the only one with a cleaver. - We should talk. 427 00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:37,686 How's our video doing? 428 00:20:37,687 --> 00:20:39,954 - We rich and famous yet? - Far from it. 429 00:20:39,955 --> 00:20:43,224 - Check the comments. - "Two-camera shoot." 430 00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:45,793 "This is fake." "Totally staged." 431 00:20:45,794 --> 00:20:49,429 How dumb are these people that they can't enjoy real stupid? 432 00:20:49,431 --> 00:20:52,366 Oh, don't lose faith in the stupidity of the Internet. 433 00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:56,003 There's half a million hits on "Hottie Meat Cleaver Mama 434 00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:58,038 Loses It On Police Station Roof." 435 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,875 Will you stop showing that to people? 436 00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:02,799 Hey, they called you "Hottie." 437 00:21:09,348 --> 00:21:10,815 ♪ I don't know ♪ 438 00:21:10,816 --> 00:21:13,717 ♪ The same things you don't know ♪ 439 00:21:17,155 --> 00:21:19,155 ♪ I don't know ♪ 440 00:21:19,157 --> 00:21:22,158 ♪ I just... don't know ♪ 441 00:21:24,229 --> 00:21:28,164 - ♪ Ooh ♪ - ♪ It's a great big place ♪ 442 00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:31,667 - ♪ Ooh ♪ - ♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪ 443 00:21:31,669 --> 00:21:35,604 - ♪ Ooh ♪ - ♪ And it's my happy place ♪ 444 00:21:35,606 --> 00:21:38,141 ♪ I don't know ♪ 445 00:21:38,988 --> 00:21:41,899 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 34625