All language subtitles for Miami4x (1)

This message is beamed down to 320 cable
channels from a satellite right up there,

right close to God, with the I.G.G.
"In God's Glory"— message,

which is: "Feel good! Send money!"

Why should you send money to me?

Because when I preach and make
you feel good, I do it for the money.

'Cause when you send me money,
I go out and I buy things with it.
I buy material things.

Now, let's talk about that.
Let's talk about material things.
Let's talk about matter!

Matter is made up of particles,
little tiny particles, which are
held together by an attraction...

no physicist in the world understands.

No organic physicist, no theoretical
physicist, no physicist of any kind...

understands what it is,
but they know that it's there.

They know that all
the subatomic particles in the universe
are held together by this attraction,

by this kind of glue,
this superglue.

People, God is the glue!

God is that glue that holds matter
together, and...

matter is material,
and materialism...

is the accumulation of matter,
and I love matter!

I love materialism!

And I love this Italian silk...

$750 piece of matter
we call a jacket.

No— No, Satan!

Satan, I know what you want,
but you ain't gonna get it.

No, you ain't gonna make
the Reverend Bill Bob Proverb
into some kind of phony hypocrite,

because people know
Reverend Bill Bob Proverb
ain't gonna stand here,

and he ain't gonna—
he ain't gonna be wearin'
sackcloth and ashes,

and pretend to be
raisin' money to feed
the starvin' orphans in Rwanda,

because the Reverend Bill Bob Proverb
is tellin'you right here, right now,

and right up front that
I'm takin' all that money for myself.

Hey! Darlin'!

Checkin' it out.

- Hey, mama, turn out your lights.
- Can you help me?

How do I know what you want?
What you got?

What I got is money, so don't
jerk me around, good-lookin'.

Are you sellin', or not?
I got shoes—

color TV, refrigerator—
[Indistinct]

Unless you're lookin'
for some off-menu items.

What I'm lookin' for
are Yellow Ghosts,
Blackbirds, Rainbows,

and as much Vitamin "Q"
as you can stand to part with.
[Chuckles]

Mama, for $2,500,
I can put you on the fast track.

It makes me feel dapper, it makes me
feel in control of my environment.

This manicure cost me
$50, people.

And that's just for the left hand.

This manicure over here
on my right hand cost $50 too.

I get manicured every day, people.
Both hands!

And that's what
feelin' good is all about!

[Congregation] Amen!
Amen! Feelin' good is all about
havin' a winning attitude!

Yes, sir, it makes
you a champion!

A champion in your job,
a champion in your work, whatever!

It helps you accrue into your life
Memphis desks,

designer refrigerators,
stereo TVs, microwave ovens,

Cadillac motorcars—
Praise God, praise God, praise God!

Talkin' about speedway, mama.

With what I got in here, you can win
a stock car race in your sneakers.

So what'll it take to put me
in the winner's circle?

1,200 an ounce, times two,
plus some popperoos?

We can even it out
at an even 35.

Deal.

Now, people, with every donation
of $50 or more, I will send you
my free pamphlet...

which will teach you how to develop
the right attitudes to have success...

and to feel closer to God.

The pamphlet is called Developing
the Right Attitudes to Have Success...

and Being Closer to God
through Materialism.

And now, people, since I gotta go home
and take care of my sweet Leona...

in our $1.75 million
Arquitectonica house,

I wanna play one of her tapes—

Leona singin' Wrapped Up,
from one of last year's messages.

This is the Reverend Bill Bob Proverb,
sayin' good night from the I.G.G.

Tune in tomorrow.

♪♪ [Singing, Indistinct]

[Chattering, Laughing]

Oh, my God, my God.

[Chuckling]

That stuff'll get you so high
you'll need a parachute to come down.

Hey, look, sweet thing, I got a bonus,
'cause you're one of my special customers.

You busted.
Good-bye street, hello jail.

I've been to jail.
Jail sucks.

[Tires Screeching]

- Freeze!
- [Fires Pistol]

♪♪ [Leona Singing On TV]

Okay, Red.
Come on, get outta there.

♪♪ [Continues]

Come on.

Nice work.
You mean to drive home?
Come over here.

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Ends]

You know who's gonna look bad?
You guys. O.C.B.

The whole department's gonna
look bad for martyring this saintly woman.

[Crockett]
The, uh, saintly lady over there tried to repave
Sherman Avenue with me and my partner here.

- What the hell is that, urban renewal?
- [Sobbing] 'Cause I got the devil in me!

I'm a sinner!
I know it.

Soon, I'll have to reckon
with the chilling hands of death.

- [Gasping]
- Now, this'll be over real soon, Leona.

The bust was good.

In recognition of the humanitarian
services rendered by this...

spiritual angel of the airwaves,
how do we make this all go away?

As in?
As in, drop the charges,
Counselor.

[Chuckles]
Why persecute her?

The word is "prosecute,"
not persecute. Prosecute.

She's got no priors.
She doesn't live in the gutter.

She was goin' for sale weight.
And that, sir, is a felony.

Oh, no!
I'm going to hell!

Will you step
in my office, Wolcott?

Oh, no.

Knock it back to a misdemeanor,
I'll get her to plead.

No misdemeanor.
She's walked on three other busts.

This time, the felony sticks.

If she pleads, we'll recommend
probation plus community service.

- You have corroboration?
- Videotape surveillance.

[Sobbing]
I'm gonna burn in the fires of hell,

because the devil
was with me in that car!

You were there— did you see him?

The devil was in my hand,

and the devil got into
my whole body,

and what can you do
when the devil's in your body?

What could I do?
The devil was in this body!

[Crockett]
Amen.

Actual money and goods
changing hands?

- Actual transaction?
- No, video only. Audio glitch.

But the intent, plus the testimony
of the arresting officer, Tubbs,

whose character is unimpeachable,
is good enough for me.

Excuse me.

[Whispering]

This is gonna be
a public relation nightmare.

It's gonna hang
on your testimony.

Well, the way I see it, Leona should be
treated just like any otherJane Doe.

Absolutely. Nobody's prosecuting her
because she's a public personality.

Nobody walks on felony possession
because they've got their own TV show.

We're filing.
The Reverend Proverb...

is not afraid to lash out
against injustice...

when his own ministry
and church and wife are accused.

My bail's made.
Let's blow.

They've been swimmin' in the sewers of life
for so long, their souls are rotted.

They sound like anybody familiar?
You got it.

The Metro-Dade Organized Crime Bureau,
Vice Division.

Vice!

You know what vice is, people?

Vice is doing it, or pretending you don't
wanna do it, when you really do.

These hypocrites are persecutin'
me and Leona...

because of our forthrightness,
because of our honesty.

They have taken my fair wife,
your own sweet Leona,

and they have thrown her into
the company of painted women...

and opium smokers and worse!

I'm sorry, people.

Now, look, Leona and I are gonna need
to hire the best and the brightest...

that can be bought to fight these snakes
in their own judicial system.

Because good lawyers don't come cheap,
people, even when they're helpin'
servants of the Lord!

So now, I am askin' you to dig deep.

I'm askin' you to reach
deep into your pockets.

Deeper than you've
ever reached before,

and give the Angel of the Airwaves
Defense Fund...

the money
it needs for Leona's defense.

I want you to call
1-800-555-L-O-V-E,
and send what you can.

Please, people.

Help us.

I want you to cut that
into tonight's message.

Leona, all the money I've dumped
into clinics nationwide...

for you to get a handle
on your drug dependency—
Damn it, woman!

I thought it was all fixed when we had
your blood changed in Switzerland.

When I get that urge,
I can't control it.

This is the last time, woman.

You hear me?
The last time.

[Sighs]

A 17.63 upward turn in our satellite
service subscribers, Reverend.

17.3, that's terrific.
It's good news.

Hi, Reverend.
Hi, how are you tonight?

Yeah, it's—
Bill Bob, I got the new Plumbicons.

The cameras are all
dialed in if you wanna see
the difference in resolution.

They'll read down to two foot-candles,
and we won't need all those lights.

Good. That's real good.

[Phone Ringing]

Hello?
[Woman]
Patch through from Metro-Dade.

- Are you Detective Tubbs?
- Yes, I am. Who is this?

I know that you're the man
who arrested Mrs. Proverb.

And it goes against my heart to do this,
but I have to reveal to you the truth.

[Gasping]
See, I'm impelled by a spiritual force
deep inside of me,

and it's bigger, deeper
than even what I can control.

What are you smoking,
snorting or drinking?

Whatever it is,
I don't want any of it.

This conversation's over.
No, please wait.

They are gonna try to tell you
that she's innocent.

But she's not.

I know, 'cause I'm in the church,
and it's all part of a big lie.

The big stuff that they're into now—
I can tell you, but I'm afraid.

Detective, you're gonna have
to come here right now.

Where are you?

Are you the young lady
I talked to on the phone?

Yes.

Well, you got somethin' to say,
let's hear it.

I'm late for a date.
See, it's very difficult
for me to talk about this.

There's a bunch of us girls
who work down here...

as ushers for the Reverend Bill Bob—

and, well, all of us are runaways
from the street, you see.

The Reverend Bill Bob and
Mrs. Proverb, they took us in—
helped us all real good.

Yeah, so?
My name's Faye Nell.

Uh-huh.
See, I must tell you the truth,
because I cannot lie.

But in order for me to do that,
I have to betray my great
indebtedness...

towards very good people,
and why, that just about
breaks my heart.

[Screaming]
Help! Help! Oh, God, rape!
Hey!

Rape!
Oh, help me!
Hey! Hey!

Oh, help me!
Help me!

Freeze!
Don't move!

Oh, the great Internal Affairs
Investigator Stroh.

Was it exceptionally slow
over there today, or what?
Very funny.

We got her blood on his shirt,
a diversionary prowler report
to the watchman,

and as far as I can ascertain,
no reasonable motivation
to set Tubbs up.

No. How about the, uh,
Leona Proverb case, huh?

You ever hear of that?
Angel of the Airwaves?

No, I guess that wouldn't have
anything to do with it.

I wanna see my partner,
thank you.

I got five minutes in the john, Crockett.
That's all the time you get.

Sanchez, give 'em the room.

So what happened,
you lose your phone book?
[Sighs]

They sure jumped on this wagon fast.

Oh, hell, Rico, they got nothin'.
They're fishin'.

Yeah, they got a bruised teenager
pointin' a finger
at a black off-duty cop.

Says I wanted to know her
in the Biblical way.

No backup, no alibi.
This is a weird frame, man.

The switchboard can confirm
that she placed the call.

What the hell do they think,
one look and your libido
suddenly went critical?

[Sighs]
If this wasn't you,
I'd think it was funny.

It is me, and it's not funny.

You know, guys with suitcases
full of money and drugs, I can understand,

but bein' set up by a preacher?

Uh-uh.
I'll tell you what else—

Stroh doesn't buy the theory
that Bill Bob set this up
to take the heat off his wife, either.

Sorry, guys, recess is cut short.
These were just delivered.

We lifted these off
the studio security camera videotapes.

Hard to tell who's doin'what to who.

[Slams Fist On Table]

[Crockett]
Those guys over at I.A.D.
Must be bored out of their minds.

This is the flimsiest excuse
for an internal investigation
I've ever heard of.

Don't push Stroh.
He doesn't like you.

If you wanna help Tubbs,
look under rocks.

[Faye]
Never heard anything
like that in my life.

You heard it on your Walkman radio?
Mm-hmm.

Right over my little earphones.
I sure did.

Just yes or no, please.

The name Proverb came up
on a federal warrant a while ago.

Get his tax history, daily activities,
contacts, habits, everything.

[Handset Settles In Cradle]

Has he ever talked to you before?

[Sighs]
Not directly, no.

[Technician]
Is that a yes or no?

[Faye]
Oh, well, I guess—
I guess that would be a yes.

You see, what he did is,
he told me to privately meet
with Detective Tubbs...

and explain to him his mistake
in accusing the good Mrs. Proverb...

of this absolutely terrible crime.

Okay, Faye Nell.

Thank you very much.
That's it?

Hi, Sonny.
Hey, Lieu.

What the hell was all that about?
That's about
the strangest one yet.

Don't be cute, Lieu.
She say somebody put her up to it?

Hey, Sonny, I.A.D.
Got a lock on it.

Oh, come on now, Lieu. Listen.
Somebody's tryin' to put Tubbs'
whole career in a Cuisinart.

You gotta help me get him out.

I'll give you my Dolphins seats
for the next two games. Hmm?

Come on.
Okay.

She was a nut.
She's a fanatic.

She believes she was raped.
You're kidding.

Three games.
Three games?

Why, you chiselin' little—
All right, fine.

Proverb put her up to it?
Oh, you're not thinkin'
big enough.

Bigger?
Uh-huh.

God.
Over her earphones.

God.
Through her earphones.

I'm serious.
She thinks this is real.

She skated through the polygraph.

You try to break her down,
you'll dig Tubbs in deeper.

Bill Bob Proverb.
You know, it happens.

It had to be Bill Bob.
I had a guy once in purple robes.
He was picking pockets at the airport.

So steady that you'd think
he was asleep.
[Chuckles]

Passed with flying colors.
Okay.

Except we had pictures
on him working.
We just gotta nail Bill Bob Proverb.

God told him that he could lie,
and he sure could.

Get him to tell us how.
Somebody made that girl
believe the same thing.

That's what it was.

[Man]
I'm sorry, no,
l- I reallyjust can't do that.

I cannot implicate Bill Bob Proverb
in anything illegal.

We do compete.

I mean, I compete with him,
but only in the earthly sense.

Mm-hmm.

So, in the earthly sense,
his stats make him an all-star,

while you're still
rakin' the field, so to speak.

The truth is, and
don't quote me on this,

I think he's a hedonist
and an overblown grandstander.

As people, we couldn't
be more different.

Help me understand this.

Uh, you were his partner
10 years ago.

Gimme the short course here.
What's his angle?

His angle? Pleasure.

Mm-hmm. Oh, when we were
young and full of grace,

lucky if 10 people would listen
and wanted to come forward.

He was happy.

Now he is so obsessed
with his own celebrity.

I just don't really know
what he's like anymore.

He's got his own private
reserve of wayward girls.

"Angels," he calls 'em.

And does he... have love for these girls
in the earthly sense, too?

Well, you see,

in an environment
lauding worldly success
and satisfaction now—

That's one of
his books, by the way—

I'm not surprised what
happened to this girl, Faye Nell.

ButJesus tells us to hate sin
and love the sinner.

I'm sure Bill Bob's heart
is still pure.

[Chuckles]
Pure what?

[Woman] I'm tellin'you, Sonny,
he grabbed the address
out of the file on Switek's desk.

[Crockett]
Damn it, he's not supposed
to go anywhere near them.

Not hardly.

What I really wanna know is,
what kind of religion...

says it's okay
to set up a phony rape charge?

Not my religion, friend.

No, Faye Nell Portis is blessed
to me, but she's hardly a card
I would play in a bad hand.

Whatever you believe,
I didn't have anything to do
with what happened to you.

I suggest you get yourself
some therapy.

It's probably work-related stress.

Look, I don't need a shrink.

What I'd like are some straight answers,
right here and right now.

Well, that makes two of us.

Maybe I should have my lawyers call...

and find out why
a suspended police officer
is harassing me in my home.

- I'm not harassing you.
- I hope you won't do that, Reverend.

This is my partner.

He knows he made a big mistake
by coming here.

It won't happen again.

I'll see to it.

Well, forgiveness is not mine
to give in this situation, but, uh,

perhaps patience is.

Fair enough.
[Groans]

Gentlemen, I should tell you
that I am prepared for this
to become a battle.

Almost everything does.

It seems to be part
of the price I have to pay.

What kind of price is that?

My soul.

My soul, in exchange
for millions of souls.

[Chuckles]

You see, you think you understand me,
but you don't really know me at all.

Nobody wants to be saved
by some obscure, threadbare,
raggedy-butt preacher anymore.

So I'm forced to martyr myself
on a cross of luxury.

Forgive me.

[Exhales]
How'd you know I was here?

What do you think?
Yellow pages.

[Grunts, Sighs]
Man, oh, man.
Look at him work.

Just gather over here.
I'll be with you in a minute.

[Proverb]
Anywhere here'll be fine.
Thank you.

What're you doin'?
You my guardian angel or somethin'?

Well, I guess, if I have to be.

I got back to O.C.B. And I get,
uh, Stroh pokin' around there.

He wants you, Rico.

He's not gonna need
that rape charge
if he catches you off the leash.

My wife has a few words to say,
after which...

I would like to make a statement.

Um, last night, as you know,
an innocent teenage girl,

a daughter
of our congregation,

was raped by the officer
who arrested me.

Now, I feel compelled
to tell the whole story.

Two nights ago, when
I stopped to ask for directions,

that same officer, Ricardo Tubbs,

also tried to...

force me into lewd acts.

I'm on this. Come on.
Come on, Rico. Let's go.
That witch!

I know that our—
our loyal friends and family...

will not let us down
in this hour of need.

I'd like to remind everyone,
that phone number is
1-800-555-L-O-V-E.

Love.
Thank you all very much.
Thank you.

Your ratings are up.
[Shutter Clicks]

[Imitating TVAnnouncer]
Hello, ladies, and welcome to
Lifestyles of the Rich and Holy.

That's right, Bill Bob Proverb
is on his way.

You can't miss him.
He's dressed like a sofa.

- [Static Crackles]
- Yeah, Switey, you must shop
at the same store, huh?

He's out of the limo
at 9th and Ocean.
[Static Crackles]

[Crockett]
Switek was on this guy
all the time, huh?

The man was being more careful
than a mule from Bogota.

In and out of buildings,
changed his clothes—

According to the fax from
Washington, it's consistent.

Apparently this clown is
some bona fide do-gooder.

One-third of his annual proceeds
go to the homeless,

skid row hospices, two clinics
in New Orleans, et cetera, et cetera.

I asked in the kitchen after he left.

He's been making these weekly treks
for the past three years.

And, uh, he insists on anonymity.

So maybe he's tired of stardom,
wants to get back in touch
with his roots.

- What are his roots?
- After Miami in the '60s,

he ran a tent revival out the back
of a Land Rover in Ethiopia.

He was there during the worst
of the drought, makin' it a little
easier for those that were dying.

He got permanent
lung scarring from the dust.

[Clicks Tongue]
Man, I'm not believin' this.

Believe it.

[Tubbs]
This doesn't break down at all.

If Reverend Bill Bob Proverb is a saint,
then who set me up, and why?

[Crockett]
Someone who wants us to take down
notjust the wife, but Bill Bob, too.

Yeah? And who's that?
We're gonna find out.

Guy that we thought was
the devil is some sort of a saint.

Even if Leona was in trouble,

I just don't believe that Bill Bob
was the one who framed me, man.

He didn't set me up.
Well, then, who did?

I don't know.
Well, neither do I.

So let's find out.
Okay!

What the hell
are you yellin' about?
I'm angry, man. I'm angry!

All right, so who stands
to gain if you take a fall?

What the hell's
the matter with this thing?

Look, they jacked
the price up two bits.
You're kiddin' me!

Seventy-five cents for a soda!
It was a dime when I was a kid.

Maybe— Maybe it's not
about me takin' a fall. Maybe—
Lemme have a quarter.

Oh, yeah?
What's it about, then?
I don't know.

What was our first
reflexive response...

off the assumption that Bill Bob
was responsible for framing me?

All right, so the cop gets framed.

We go to Bill Bob,
we tear apart his ministry.

Who wants that to happen?
Someone who doesn't like Bill Bob.

Someone who wants to see him
take a fall.
Gimme another quarter.

Not just his wife,
but Bill Bob himself.

Someone who doesn't
like Bill Bob very much.
[Coin Rattling]

[Sighs]
All right, so we'll see who's at the top
of the chart on that hit parade,

and five will get you an 800 number
that that's the dude
that we're lookin' for.

[Man]
I call it a starter kit. A little bit of everything.
Basic line you grow from.

First you need your
John 3: 16 heaven tracts, two-color.
By the ream that's $5.99.

Now I'm gonna show you something.

This is called glow-in-the-dark
crosses and mezuzahs.

You're thinking, " Why do I need
a glow-in-the-dark cross?" Right?

Nighttime, pal.
God can't see in the dark, right?

You got an electrical storm brewing.
You're frightened and scared.

The lights come down.
You wanna pray for the lights
to come back on, you can't find it. There it is.

Glow-in-the-dark gives you round-the-clock,
24-hour, night and day protection.
I'll give you $19.95 for the whole—

Okay, you're twistin' my arm.
I'll tell you what I do.

I'm gonna give you 150 stain-resistant,
laminated holy cards—We throw it in,
we call it even. Whaddya say?

You Eddie Felcher?

Fast Eddie, friends. Fast to get you up
and earning in the only industry to outpace
Standard & Poor's average seven years in a row.

Salvation! [Laughs]
What exactly is your,
uh, ecclesiastical bent?

U.S. Post Office,
Investigation Division.

Mail fraud.

Look, if that's about
those damned bottles again,
I already told you everything.

What "damned bottles"?

Guy raised 11 million to put these little Bibles
in little bottles and float 'em down the
Gulf Stream to save the communists in Cuba.

Twenty-nine bottles, they all wind up
on Daytona Beach.

Just because I sold him the little bottles
does not— does not— make me
an accomplice. I checked with my lawyer.

We're not here for the Bibles,
and we're not here for
the crosses that glow in the dark.

No, Eddie, you see, we're
here for the 1984 land fraud.

You know, the mail order?
You remember that?

You know, when you were sellin'
the people the motor home lots?

[Chuckles]
The only problem was,
they were in the Gulf Stream.

Yeah, that's—Yeah.
Yeah, and you did 18 months
in the country club.

You remember that, don't ya?
Uh-huh? Yeah.

Now, does your present clientele know
that you were the bad guy in that?

All right, okay, look,
maybe we can, uh—

Maybe we can get some simple
answers to some simple questions.

Like, uh, if
Reverend Bill Bob Proverb...

got in deep trouble,
who smiles the brightest?

[Chuckles]
That's easy. Mason Mather.

Mather? Wait a minute.
I talked to him.

He admits to bein' second fiddle.
He's got no problem with that.

You tellin' me there's more to it?
The big "gig."

Gigahertz, microwaves. Come on.
Get hip to the new-time religion, guys.

When Bill Bob Proverb decided
to go on the bird— the satellite—
Mason Mather took a pass.

Now, without a slice, his ticket
to Washington politics is null and void.

I thought everybody used it.
[Laughs]
Not at first.

Mason Mather didn't want his holy words
and images traveling through the same
microchips as the bunny channel.

[Chuckling]
So why doesn't he get it now?

No room at the inn.
He's got a local show,

but you can't book a satellite
frequency to save your soul.

He's stuck mailin' tapes up and down
the Bible Belt. Bicycling them,
like 10 years ago.

Only way Mason Mather can
get on the bird is to knock
Billy Bob Proverb off of it.

Back to work, Eddie.

I hate you postal guys.

Come on, Deacon, where is he?
I told you, it's not possible
to see Brother Mather.

He's ecstatic.

Listen, Jake, I don't care
if he's so happy he's howlin'
at the moon!

He's in a state
of heightened spirituality.

- I'll heighten your spirituality.
- This is police business.

Unless you've got a court order
or an arrest warrant—

You give him a message.

You tell him, call me at this number,
or I'll get that warrant.

Fine. Oh, speaking of messages—

I think Brother Mather'll
have one for you.

It'll be a major revelation
on tonight's show.

10:00 p.m., Channel 60.
Be there.

♪♪ [Singing]

Faye Nell Portis beat the machine,
therefore she believes what she's sayin'.

Or maybe Mason Mather
got to her.

As we wander through this
wonderland with the loony tunes,

I.A.D. Is pressin', and my career
is goin' down the drain so fast
there isn't even a swirl.

Alex, change the channel
to 60 for a minute.

- ♪♪ [Stops]
- [Patrons Complaining]

Now, beneath this—
Relax. We'll get back to you
head-bangers in a second.

Now, beneath the surface,
there's gotta be some reason in this.

There's—There's cause and effect,
there's— there's motive and behavior.

Now, these guys, in their world,
they cannot be all that irrational.

[Mather]
I will scourge the earth
ofhis evil ministry.

I hereby make
the following prediction.

The miracle is this:
The sky will part,

and fire and lightning
will come from heaven.

Fire and lightning
will destroy his evil ministry!

The Lord will send fire and lightning
down on Reverend Bill Bob Proverb...

in exactly two hours and 10 minutes!

[Sniffs]

Come on, Reverend,
you've gotta leave.

I ain't gonna let him destroy you—
Get your hands off me!

Mason Mather ain't keepin' me
off my own show. We're goin'
live tonight, you understand?

No tape. We're goin' live.
I want a camera on right now.

Is this thing workin'?
Gimme some sound over here!
[Handset Beeping]

Let's roll.

[Coughing]
Are you on the air?

We're on the air.
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for joining us tonight.

This is the Reverend Bill Bob Proverb,
and I'm comin' to you live tonight...

because a certain minister of God—

perhaps I should say
a so-called minister of God—

has made some wicked and
unbelievable predictions...

about the events
of tonight's show.

I wanted to be standin'
here in person to show—
Lemme ask you a question, people.

Does it look as if
the sky is gonna part?
[Laughs]

Does it look as if fire is gonna
rain down on me tonight?
That's ridiculous, people.

Absolutely ridiculous!

[Whimpers]
Billy Bob!

[Thunderclap]

[Woman On P.A.]
Dr. McCullen, Surgery please.

Dr. McCullen.

- Very good, guys! Excellent response.
- Yeah, very nice, very nice.

Listen, the deacon wants
to see you down in the lounge.

Grab a cup of coffee.
We got it.

- That's not quite true, gentlemen.
- [Chuckles]

Uh, okay, Deacon,
we want to speak to Mather.

He's being attended by
Dr. Kermit Ollinger from Atlanta.

Well, what he needs is a lawyer.
And we'll be happy to wait,

if that's what he wants, but
we're gonna ask him right now.

- I'm sorry, you can't do that.
- The man is suspect in everything...

from criminal conspiracy
to the use of lightning as a lethal weapon.

But when I say you can't ask him,
I'm not being arbitrary.

You see, the, uh,
Reverend Mather is in a coma.

[Heart Monitor Beeping]
He's been unconscious ever since
his broadcast last night.

[Beeping Continues]

Leona, honey, what are you doing?
You're gonna get yourself all filthy.

Come on, get outta there.
[Whining]
It's the things, Billy Bob.

Yeah, I know, I know.
Who's supposed
to be watching Leona?

Now I'm gonna have
to get all new things.
[Sighs]

You know, l-l-I already
have some lovely ideas.

Well, that's real good, honey.
Let me talk to Herb at the bank
first, all right?

Make sure she don't have
any credit cards.
[Man] Okay.

Hello, gentlemen.
[Tubbs]
Hello.

- Got any estimates?
- How about the whole shootin' match?

How about $15 million?

I hope Mather burns.

[Sighs Deeply]
Well, he's a sick one.

The success of my ministry's been
eatin' him up inside for years.

You see, I figured he put
that girl up to that rape business.

Hell, I can deal with that game
any day of the week.

But my whole studio!
[Yells]

By the time I get finished
with Mr. Mason "Almighty" Mather,

the man will not be able to afford
a cardboard cross to hang himself on!

What did he have to say, anyway?

Not much.

- He's in a coma.
- A coma? Oh, perfect!

Yes, one of—
One of Mather's famous comas.

They come on him once
about every six months.

Got any theories on
how this happened?

- Secular or divine theories?
- Secular.

Like your insurance,
we don't cover acts of God.

Well, my faithful flock thinks
that I have been judged from above.

I'd say it was an overload,

deliberately jumped in behind
the surge suppressors
and circuit breakers.

[Sighs]
What about my lady,
Detective Crockett?

After all this, you still gonna
bring her up on drug charges?

'Fraid so, Reverend.
D.A. Gonna follow through.

Well, I certainly don't feel
like God's favorite these days.

It's allJapanese.
The best that money can buy.

And I got it before
the trade war started.

You know what it's gonna
cost me to replace this gear?

I, uh, found this in
the microwave transmitter shack.

Damned near burnt to the ground.
Liverwurst on white.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.

This is a power transmission
schematic.

Did you say liverwurst?

My chief engineer on
the night shift, Carl Becker—

He eats a liverwurst and onion
sandwich every night of the week.

Get within 10 feet of the man,
your eyes start waterin'.

So it was Becker.

- He's not takin' this well.
- Betrayed by his own food.

These two may be world-class hustlers,
but as criminals, bozo time.

[Chattering]

[Man #1]
That was a good time last night.

[Man #2]
You have a good time last night?
[Woman] Yeah.

[Man #2]
I have vacations.
[Man #1] Take a vacation.

Stick around here
and look at the girls?
Yeah, that's a good idea.

Excuse me, gentlemen,
uh, which one of you is Becker?
Who wants to know?

I'm Detective Crockett—

Something I said?

I got him!

[Crockett]
Where you goin', Becker?
We know you wired the station.

We got your dinner
and the schematics.
That doesn't prove a thing!

Let's throw this guy—
So I forgot to eat— big deal!

You bet it's a big deal when
you're on double payrolls, huh?

It was just a stunt. I lowered
the amperage so no one would get hurt.

Were you the one that talked
the girl into yellin' rape?

I just rewired the Walkman.
Mather did all the talkin'.

He told her to stage it.
He said the Lord would protect her.

Yeah, what do you think?
You think we'd eat each other alive,
and he'd come out the winner, huh?

I don't know.
Please!

So why blow the station?
Huh?

What happened? Mather flip out
because Proverb turned all his
trouble into contributions?

[Panting]
I don't know, man.

I just took his 20 grand.
Why don't you just ask him?

That's a good idea.
Come on.

He came out of it
about 20 minutes ago.

He grabbed a syringe full of procaine,
and the doctor says if he puts
the whole volume in himself,

it's gonna stop his heart!

Oh, good. Good.

He's flipped. He's done.
How can you tell that?

- Hey, Reverend Mather!
- Back! Back, devils!

I have been called to him.
I have been called to His bosom.

Oh, Lord, I have
been called to him.

Look, come on down
and we'll talk about it!

I am through with this vale of tears.

Uh, Reverend—

I am no longer of this Earth,
I am above these mere mortals.

Uh, Reverend, what do you say my partner
comes on up there and talks to ya for—
for just five minutes.

Huh? Whaddya say?

Take me from this evilness.
Take me from this wicked Earth.

No, huh?
What do you think I oughta do,

go down and call the fire department,
tell 'em we got a jumper?
No, we don't have time.

They broadcast paramedics
and medevac as far as
Fort Lauderdale from there.

That tower's got
10,000 watts of power.

Somebody just keys a mic inside—

- How do you know all that?
- Night school. There is life after Vice.

- Rev!
- Hey, Reverend, look, uh,

why don't you just come down
and we'll talk about it?

Now-Now-Now, Reverend, look,
l- I know you got problems, sure, but—

but I don't think we're lookin'
at any jail time here.

I have been called to him.
It's not my will.

I have been called
to his bosom.

Oh, ye land, thy will be done!

[Electricity Crackling]
[Screaming]

Oh, God.

Good evening, friends.
It's real good to come
before you tonight.

[Chuckles]
I haven't-haven't been on your
television sets the last few nights.

I'm sure you all know the reason why.

My, uh, my electronic ministry
was destroyed...

by what some people
persist in saying...

was an act of divine retribution
by an almighty Lord.

Well, I don't know about that.

I guess I'm just not smart enough
to know such profound things.

I do know I've been laid low.

I've never been so low
as you see me here tonight.

I don't have much left,
but I have my health.

And I have my darlin' Leona,

who has been
a comfort and a joy to me,

and I'd like to thank
the almighty God
for sendin' her to me.

[Inhales, Clears Throat]
We, uh—We're gonna have to
sell most everything we got—

the houses, the cars, the boats—
to pay our debts and legal fees, and—

and to be honest, folks,
to pay for Leona's drug
rehabilitation program.

And you know what I say, folks?
I say good riddance to all that junk.

Now, if I were you,
seein' me in this sorry state,

I'm not sure I'd wanna
get behind this ministry.

I'm not sure that this ministry
deserves your support, to be honest.

That's up to you.

Let's just leave it this way:
If you wanna send us
a few dollars, that's fine.

And if you don't, we still
love you and bless you.

Now, with the last few seconds
of this-this little message,
I'd like to hear Leona sing.

How about you?

Darlin', go ahead.
♪♪ [Electric Piano]

♪♪ [Sings]
L-I'm sorry, darlin'.

Forgive me, folks, l-I forgot.

We-We can only afford
the one microphone.
[Phone Ringing]

Go ahead.

♪♪ [Electric Piano]

♪♪ [Singing]

[Phones Ringing]
♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Continues]

Thank you, Jesus, thank you.
♪♪ [Continues]

One good thing about TV.
You can always turn it off.
♪♪ [Stops]