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Gomer Pyle - USMC.
2
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Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.
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Also starring Frank
Sutton as Sergeant Carter.
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Millard. Here.
5
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,699
Slater. Here.
6
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,536
Davenport. DAVENPORT: Here.
7
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Coogan. Here.
8
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:40,406
Moskawich.
9
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Philadelphia. Lois Freeder.
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Right!
11
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Here's your next one.
12
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Uh, Atlanta, Georgia.
Sally Rose Johnson.
13
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,952
Right. That's amazing,
Duke. How do you do that?
14
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,921
Very easy, Gomer.
15
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I just make sure I never give
any of them the same perfume.
16
00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,758
Pyle!
17
00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:01,309
Here! Here I am!
18
00:01:04,047 --> 00:01:06,715
Spencer. Yo!
19
00:01:06,783 --> 00:01:08,917
Balkowitz. Yeah.
20
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,585
Kyle. Here.
21
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,053
Hey, you wanna smell?
22
00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:15,401
Phew! Gomer, that
smells like gasoline.
23
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It is. It's from Wally.
24
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The feller I used to work for
at the fillin' station back home.
25
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,880
You're so good at guessin',
26
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,393
see if you can
guess what this is.
27
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,966
Regular or high-octane?
28
00:01:28,238 --> 00:01:31,072
Oppenheim. Yeah.
29
00:01:31,141 --> 00:01:32,240
Mitchell.
30
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"Dear Gomer." That's
the way he starts.
31
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Gomer, read it to
yourself, will you, buddy?
32
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,417
Don't you wanna
hear Wally's letter?
33
00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:44,386
Do I have to?
34
00:01:44,454 --> 00:01:47,022
Well, he writes
a real nice letter.
35
00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:49,625
Okay, let's hear it.
36
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:53,028
"Dear Gomer, enclosed
you'll find some mail
37
00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:55,430
"that was sent to you
here at the filling station.
38
00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:57,098
"Regards, Wally."
39
00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,284
That's it?
40
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Uh-huh. Ain't that nice?
41
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,716
It's real short
and to the point.
42
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,523
Yeah. You ought to save them.
43
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,458
Put them in a book
someday, you know?
44
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,827
The Life and Letters
of Gomer Pyle.
45
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,131
I can always tell when
you're pullin' my leg, Duke.
46
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You get an insincere
look in your eyes.
47
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Hey, Duke, listen to this.
48
00:02:20,857 --> 00:02:22,691
"Don't be a wallflower.
49
00:02:22,759 --> 00:02:26,194
"Be the life of the
party. Learn to dance.
50
00:02:26,263 --> 00:02:28,563
"This ticket entitles
you to one free lesson
51
00:02:28,632 --> 00:02:31,399
"at the Plaza Dance Studio."
52
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,163
What good does that
do you, Gome? It's...
53
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:35,120
Dance studio's in Mayberry.
54
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:37,055
Ain't that a shame?
55
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A free dance lesson,
and I have to pass it up.
56
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,876
You know how to dance,
Gomer. I've seen you.
57
00:02:41,945 --> 00:02:44,913
Yeah, but they got some
new things out nowadays.
58
00:02:44,982 --> 00:02:47,265
You know, them
South American steps?
59
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,661
Well, if you're so
anxious to learn,
60
00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:50,530
why don't you go to a
dance studio here in town?
61
00:02:50,554 --> 00:02:54,088
There's one on Grant Street.
I've passed it a lot of times.
62
00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:56,190
I will, Duke. The
very next liberty.
63
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,544
Good. And when you
become another Fred Astaire,
64
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,372
don't forget your
old buddy Duke.
65
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,599
You got that
insincere look again.
66
00:03:09,339 --> 00:03:11,284
Look, why don't you admit
it? You made a mistake.
67
00:03:11,308 --> 00:03:13,075
So let's just pack up
and get out of here.
68
00:03:13,143 --> 00:03:14,854
I told you. We're not leaving.
69
00:03:14,878 --> 00:03:17,090
This is one of the fastest-growing
towns in the country.
70
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,476
I'm tellin' you, there's a lot of money
here, and we can get some of it.
71
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,567
Well, when you do, give
$75 of it to the landlord.
72
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,269
Was he here again?
73
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,304
Yeah, about 10 minutes
before you came in.
74
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,940
75 bucks a month
for this firetrap.
75
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,075
Three weeks I've
been sitting here,
76
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:34,546
three weeks just waiting for
somebody to come through that door.
77
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,848
Just one patsy.
78
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,451
Hey, there.
79
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,554
Well, well, well,
80
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,123
one of our fighting
men in uniform.
81
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:46,669
It's always nice to welcome
82
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,905
one of our boys in the service.
83
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,061
Are you Mr. Fay?
84
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,057
That's right, and
this is Mrs. Fay.
85
00:03:52,081 --> 00:03:54,293
Our friends call us
Fred and Ginger.
86
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,051
Well, hey, Fred. Hey, Ginger.
87
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,586
My name's Gomer Pyle.
88
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,856
Private Gomer Pyle,
and I got this in the mail.
89
00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:03,191
I was just wonderin'
90
00:04:03,259 --> 00:04:05,560
if you people have a
plan like that one there,
91
00:04:05,628 --> 00:04:06,728
and if you do,
92
00:04:06,797 --> 00:04:08,713
I'd like to get my free
dance lesson here.
93
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,982
I can dance some, but
I wanna get a whack at
94
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,251
is some of that
South American stuff.
95
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,253
Well, as a matter of fact,
96
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,362
we do have reciprocal agreements
97
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:20,169
with other dance studios throughout
the United States and Canada.
98
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,573
Now, I'll check and see if the Plaza
Dance Studio in Mayberry is listed.
99
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,998
May I have the reciprocal
agreement, Ginger?
100
00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:29,100
Oh, oh, the reciprocal
agreement, yes.
101
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,303
Thank you.
102
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:33,116
All right, let's see here.
103
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,605
Uh, P, P, P, P, P.
104
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:37,492
Ah, Plaza Dance
Studio, Mayberry.
105
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,129
There we go, Gomer, we can
give you the free dance lesson.
106
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,098
Well, I sure would
be much obliged.
107
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:45,406
And there is no time
like the present to start.
108
00:04:45,468 --> 00:04:47,413
Ginger, give Gomer
his free lesson.
109
00:04:47,437 --> 00:04:49,204
Oh, I'd love to.
110
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,806
Ain't I lucky?
111
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,821
Imagine you folks havin' the same
kind of plan they got back home!
112
00:04:57,614 --> 00:04:59,592
I hope I don't dance
too bad for you.
113
00:04:59,616 --> 00:05:00,949
Oh, I'll bet you'll be
114
00:05:01,017 --> 00:05:02,529
the best pupil
I've had in weeks.
115
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:03,585
Oh, Ginger,
116
00:05:03,653 --> 00:05:05,520
may I speak to you for a second?
117
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,475
Look, this clown could be
our "in" at the Marine base.
118
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,177
Sweetie, leave it to me.
119
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,516
Oh, yes, we'll start
with the cha-cha-cha,
120
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,028
but before we put the record on,
121
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,453
let me just show you
the basic counts, all right?
122
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,632
All right.
123
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,088
Now, you come right here.
124
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,357
And we begin,
125
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:29,461
and one, two,
three, cha-cha-cha,
126
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,497
two, three, cha-cha-cha,
127
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:35,367
two, three, cha-cha-cha,
128
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,136
two, three, cha-cha-cha,
129
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,572
two, three, cha-cha-cha,
two, three, cha-cha-cha,
130
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,974
two, three. Good, Gomer.
131
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,109
Two, three, cha-cha-cha,
132
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,745
two, three, cha-cha-cha,
133
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:51,015
two, three. Now keep
your shoulders up.
134
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,484
Cha-cha-cha.
135
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,863
You can relax a little bit.
136
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:57,055
And cha-cha-cha,
two, three, cha-cha-cha,
137
00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:00,625
two, three,
cha-cha-cha, two, three...
138
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,719
Whoo!
139
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:30,622
Whoo, that was
some workout, Gomer!
140
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,790
Well, you did just fine.
141
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,626
You mean an hour's up already?
142
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,905
Yes, as a matter of fact,
143
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,873
it's been an hour
and 15 minutes.
144
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,832
Boy, don't time fly
when you're havin' fun?
145
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,735
Oh, that was just
fine, Gomer, fine.
146
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,671
I can't tell you how much I
appreciate your kindness.
147
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,884
It was real nice of you
148
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,752
to give me that
free dance lesson.
149
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:50,976
Thank you, Ginger.
150
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,944
Thank you, Fred.
151
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,091
It was a pleasure
meetin' both of you.
152
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,316
Well, I expect I better
be gettin' back now,
153
00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,918
so, bye.
154
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,720
Well, now, hold
it. Wait a minute.
155
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,254
Uh, what about
your other lessons?
156
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,424
You just can't quit
after your first free one.
157
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,071
You mean I get
more free lessons?
158
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,794
Well, no, only the
first one is free,
159
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,429
but that is given
on the condition
160
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,032
that you sign up
for a full course.
161
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,461
Oh, I didn't know
about that. Of course.
162
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,265
Otherwise, we'd just be in
business to give free lessons.
163
00:07:19,289 --> 00:07:20,855
And we'd like to do that,
164
00:07:20,924 --> 00:07:23,858
because we enjoy our work,
but we have to pay the rent.
165
00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:26,360
Now, you could take
our minimum course,
166
00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:28,629
which is 10
lessons for only $50.
167
00:07:29,066 --> 00:07:30,531
$50?
168
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,578
Oh, well, it would be for
your own good, Gomer.
169
00:07:32,602 --> 00:07:34,313
With only one lesson
under your belt,
170
00:07:34,337 --> 00:07:35,981
you'd be a menace
on that dance floor.
171
00:07:36,005 --> 00:07:37,450
Fred's right, Gomer.
172
00:07:37,474 --> 00:07:39,519
That would be like giving
someone one driving lesson
173
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,976
and then turning them
loose on the highway.
174
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,811
Yeah, but $50...
175
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,514
Well, now, I said you
could take that course,
176
00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,416
but I wouldn't
advise it for you.
177
00:07:48,484 --> 00:07:51,552
No, I think you'd be better
off with our 3-month plan.
178
00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:53,822
Now, that costs $100,
179
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,623
but you have three
months to pay.
180
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,804
And that comes to just
a little over $33 a month.
181
00:07:57,828 --> 00:07:59,894
Well, that's a little better.
182
00:07:59,963 --> 00:08:03,698
Maybe the 6-month plan would
be even better than that, Fred.
183
00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,633
That's only $25 a month.
184
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:08,252
Well, actually, I
think the 2-year plan
185
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,721
would be cheaper, Ginger.
186
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,056
That would come
to just $20 a month.
187
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,226
You know, the 5-year plan
would be even cheaper.
188
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,272
After only one small
down payment, Gomer,
189
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,597
all you'd have to
pay is $15 a month.
190
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,999
What do you think?
191
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,867
Well, I don't know.
192
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,503
I'm only a private, and
we don't make much.
193
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,555
Don't you have a
serviceman's rate, maybe?
194
00:08:27,624 --> 00:08:30,558
Oh, I understand, Gomer, but...
195
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,727
Now, why didn't I think of it?
196
00:08:32,796 --> 00:08:35,196
I have the perfect plan for you,
197
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,766
tailor-made for the
man with a small income.
198
00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:39,334
It's our cheapest course.
199
00:08:39,403 --> 00:08:41,847
What's that? I don't
know why I didn't think of it.
200
00:08:41,871 --> 00:08:43,972
It's our lifetime plan.
201
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,974
Lifetime plan? That's right.
202
00:08:46,042 --> 00:08:47,274
Now, our lifetime plan
203
00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:49,677
enables you to take as
many lessons as you want
204
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:50,945
when you want them
205
00:08:51,014 --> 00:08:53,414
at any one of our studios
throughout the world!
206
00:08:53,483 --> 00:08:55,160
Well, how much is that one?
207
00:08:55,184 --> 00:08:57,418
Well, according to
our mortality rates,
208
00:08:57,487 --> 00:08:59,587
a fellow your age
on the lifetime plan
209
00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:00,955
would wind up paying
210
00:09:01,024 --> 00:09:03,958
an average of 8 cents a lesson.
211
00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:05,643
Only 8 cents?
212
00:09:05,695 --> 00:09:08,163
Well, I sure ought to be
able to afford 8 cents a lesson.
213
00:09:08,231 --> 00:09:09,397
That's good.
214
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,533
Now, if you'll just
sign these contracts,
215
00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:13,668
both copies, please.
216
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:17,372
Lifetime contract, huh?
217
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,840
Good anywhere in the world.
218
00:09:19,909 --> 00:09:21,309
Shazam!
219
00:09:21,378 --> 00:09:24,412
Cha-cha-cha, three,
two, cha-cha-cha,
220
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,548
shoulders back, cha-cha-cha,
221
00:09:26,616 --> 00:09:31,018
relax, cha-cha-cha,
that's fine, Gomer...
222
00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:33,120
Two, two, cha-cha-cha,
223
00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:35,990
four, two, cha-cha-cha.
224
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:37,725
Pyle!
225
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,034
Oh, hey, Sergeant.
226
00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,306
I finished my noon chow early
227
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,141
so I could come
back and do this.
228
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,685
What do you think you're doing?
229
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:46,100
Practicin' my cha-cha.
Do you cha-cha?
230
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,336
Pyle, this is a Marine
barracks, not a ballet school.
231
00:09:48,405 --> 00:09:50,104
Knock it off.
232
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,039
I'm sorry, Sergeant.
233
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:55,188
I was just practicin' so I'd
be better for my next lesson.
234
00:09:55,212 --> 00:09:56,944
Your what?
235
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,957
My next lesson. I signed
up for dancin' lessons.
236
00:09:58,981 --> 00:10:00,582
You signed up for what?
237
00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:03,100
Dancin' lessons, over
at the Fay Dance Studio.
238
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,586
They gave me this free
lesson, and then I signed up...
239
00:10:05,655 --> 00:10:08,072
You signed something? Did
you sign a piece of paper?
240
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,285
Uh-huh, I signed a...
241
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,208
Let me see what you
signed. Let me see it!
242
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:18,482
A lifetime contract?
243
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,597
Uh-huh. And they gave
me a badge and everything.
244
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,721
How many times do I
have to tell you, Pyle,
245
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,089
you don't sign anything!
246
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,492
Pyle, how many times
do I have to tell you
247
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:30,227
that Marines are easy prey
for crooks and swindlers?
248
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:33,130
These are con artists,
and you have been conned!
249
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,349
Oh, no, Sergeant...
250
00:10:34,417 --> 00:10:36,095
The minute you have
to sign something,
251
00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:38,219
you can smell the swindle!
252
00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:39,965
But, Sergeant, if I just...
253
00:10:39,989 --> 00:10:42,819
Tonight, right after chow, you're
gonna take me over to that school.
254
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,643
I'm gonna meet these crumbs,
255
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,489
and I'm gonna get
you out of this thing.
256
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,191
But I don't wanna get out.
I'm gonna get you out of it!
257
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,982
But, Sergeant... Out,
out! I'm gonna get you out!
258
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,732
This is the place right here.
259
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:59,324
But I don't really wanna
get out of it, Sergeant.
260
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,059
Now, Pyle, I'm doing
this for your own good.
261
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:03,494
Wait right here.
262
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,895
I'll be right back.
263
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,273
Well, well, well,
264
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,575
one of our fighting
men in uniform!
265
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:18,954
It's always nice to welcome
266
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:20,356
one of our boys in the service.
267
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,963
Can I help you, Sergeant?
268
00:11:22,032 --> 00:11:23,915
You sure can.
269
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:26,117
I'll say you can.
270
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,087
One of my men was in
here yesterday. Gomer Pyle.
271
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:30,499
He tells me that... Who?
272
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,423
Gomer Pyle.
273
00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:35,171
He tells me that you people
sold him a lifetime membership.
274
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:39,713
Uh, Fred, did you see
the way he walked?
275
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,560
If I didn't see it
with my own eyes,
276
00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:43,095
I wouldn't have believed it.
277
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,452
Walk toward us again.
278
00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:46,738
Huh?
279
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,340
Just back up and
walk toward us again.
280
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,009
I... I wanna see something.
281
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:52,944
There.
282
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,615
Now come on.
283
00:11:58,785 --> 00:11:59,918
Come on.
284
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,193
Amazing!
285
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:13,064
A man so strong and so muscular,
286
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:17,235
and he walks as softly as a cat.
287
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:20,671
Yes, like a large cat.
288
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,106
Sergeant...
289
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,209
Dance a couple of steps for me.
290
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:26,827
What?
291
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:29,280
Oh, for me, please.
292
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,628
Well, maybe the Sergeant is a
little self-conscious with an audience.
293
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,652
I've got some work
to do in the back.
294
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,024
Shall we?
295
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:54,205
Just like a cat.
296
00:12:56,042 --> 00:13:00,044
Like a big, graceful cat.
297
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,280
Hmm.
298
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,467
Hey, Sergeant.
299
00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:25,537
How did it go? Did
you have any trouble?
300
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,806
Pyle, you don't understand
anything, do you?
301
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,074
Huh?
302
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,343
You fool, you ought to
have your head examined,
303
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,647
signing a lifetime contract
for dancing lessons.
304
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,948
I'm sorry, Sergeant.
305
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:41,286
You should have taken
the 5-year plan, like I did!
306
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:50,061
Carter. Yo!
307
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,930
Davenport.
308
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,943
Hey, I got a letter
from the dance studio.
309
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,447
They're writin' to me
like we was pen pals.
310
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,538
You got one from
'em, too, Sergeant.
311
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,574
Davenport! Here.
312
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,675
Coogan! Here.
313
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:04,842
What?
314
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,622
What's the matter, Sergeant?
315
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,313
Well, it's a bill.
316
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:11,382
A bill for $250!
317
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,628
You see, Sergeant?
318
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,630
I told you not to
take that 5-year plan.
319
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,599
That's the one with
the big down payment.
320
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,123
You should have taken
a lifetime plan, like me.
321
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,559
My bill's only $10
a month for life.
322
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,962
$250?
323
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,833
Hey, Sergeant!
324
00:14:45,902 --> 00:14:48,002
Wait, and I'll dance over there.
325
00:14:50,539 --> 00:14:52,339
Relax, I'll lead, Gomer.
326
00:14:55,745 --> 00:14:57,022
Soon as I learn how to lead,
327
00:14:57,046 --> 00:15:00,014
I'll be able to dance in
any direction I want to.
328
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:01,761
Gomer's just about
finished, Sergeant.
329
00:15:01,785 --> 00:15:03,595
Are you ready for
your lesson today?
330
00:15:03,619 --> 00:15:05,286
I'm not taking a lesson today.
331
00:15:05,354 --> 00:15:06,594
You're not?
332
00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:09,841
I'm not taking a lesson
today or any other day.
333
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,575
Well, is something
the matter, Sergeant?
334
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:15,313
You bet there is. This
contract. I want out.
335
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,181
I sure am sorry, Sergeant.
336
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,750
I thought we'd be
kind of like classmates.
337
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,620
Pyle, can't you see
what's going on here?
338
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,005
This whole dance
school is a swindle.
339
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,323
A swindle?
340
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:28,759
It's a racket!
Nothing but a racket!
341
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:32,996
Well, how are our two
star pupils getting along?
342
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,865
Gomer's doing just fine, dear,
343
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,601
but Sergeant Carter
seems to have a problem.
344
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:40,137
Oh. Something I can
help you with, Sergeant?
345
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:41,672
Yeah. I'm quittin'.
346
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,419
I wanna be let
out of my contract.
347
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,510
The Sergeant thinks
he's being swindled.
348
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,390
Oh. Well, this is
hard to believe.
349
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,574
Is this true, Sergeant?
350
00:15:49,598 --> 00:15:51,532
That's right.
351
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,600
Well, Sergeant, I'm
a reasonable man,
352
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:55,770
and this is a
respectable business.
353
00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:58,205
We don't believe in
pressuring people.
354
00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,974
Now, if you don't
want any more lessons,
355
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,242
you don't have to
take any more lessons.
356
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,557
I don't? Of course not.
357
00:16:05,581 --> 00:16:08,115
If you don't want any,
you don't have to take any.
358
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:11,819
Well, that's...
359
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,254
That's awfully decent of you.
360
00:16:14,323 --> 00:16:15,622
Not at all.
361
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,626
Well, I...
362
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,747
Guess I'll be going.
363
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,760
Coming, Pyle? Sure, Sergeant.
364
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,885
Oh, Sergeant. Didn't
you forget something?
365
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,020
Forget something?
366
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:33,307
Yes. The first
installment on your bill.
367
00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:35,526
$250.
368
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,695
But you said I didn't
have to take the lessons.
369
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:40,408
That's right. You don't
have to take the lessons.
370
00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:42,677
You just have to pay the bills.
371
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:43,968
What are you trying to do?
372
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,147
Now, look, buddy,
373
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,681
we are not running
a charity ball.
374
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,951
You signed a contract,
you're gonna pay.
375
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:51,192
We'll see about
that! Well, you will!
376
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:52,326
I will not!
377
00:16:52,395 --> 00:16:53,772
You want me to
bring legal action?
378
00:16:53,796 --> 00:16:55,329
Do you want me to
bring legal action?
379
00:16:56,799 --> 00:16:58,511
Wait a minute, wait a minute!
380
00:16:58,535 --> 00:17:00,634
Now, I know that
there's a way out of this.
381
00:17:00,703 --> 00:17:03,504
Mr. Fay, why don't you tear
up the Sergeant's contract
382
00:17:03,573 --> 00:17:05,206
like he wants you to?
383
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:08,209
And, Sergeant, why don't
you sign a new contract?
384
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,855
A lifetime one, like I got.
385
00:17:09,879 --> 00:17:11,479
It's only pennies a day.
386
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:26,194
Now, what can I do for you?
387
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,340
Well, sir, you see,
I'm a sergeant,
388
00:17:28,364 --> 00:17:30,042
and I got a lot of men under me.
389
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:33,011
My job is not only teaching
them how to be Marines,
390
00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:36,153
but I gotta be, like,
uh, a buddy to 'em.
391
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,699
Most of 'em are just young kids
392
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,790
who've never been
away from home before,
393
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:42,810
and they get clipped by
every kind of con game there is.
394
00:17:42,879 --> 00:17:44,362
Yes, Sergeant, I know.
395
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,597
Well, I try to steer them
clear of these crooks,
396
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,260
but when these
kids go into town,
397
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,350
I can't keep my eye
on every one of them.
398
00:17:50,419 --> 00:17:51,919
Oh, I understand.
399
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,421
Well, there's this
dance studio in town.
400
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,601
Now it's a clip joint
if ever I saw one.
401
00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:58,137
They get these kids in there
402
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,388
and make them sign their
lives away for dancing lessons!
403
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,090
And one of your men
signed a contract?
404
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,354
Yes, sir.
405
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,960
And you want me to
help him get out of it.
406
00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,929
Well, not really. He's
happy with the lessons.
407
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:08,913
Well, just what is it
you want me to do?
408
00:18:10,272 --> 00:18:11,739
Help me get out of mine.
409
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,891
You, Sergeant?
410
00:18:14,811 --> 00:18:17,194
You signed one
of those contracts?
411
00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,464
Well, yes, sir, I...
412
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:24,568
Actually, I... I did it
because I was trying to
413
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:26,603
trap 'em.
414
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,805
Yeah, that's it! I
was trying to trap 'em!
415
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,358
Well, it seems your
little scheme backfired.
416
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,211
It looks like they trapped you.
417
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,246
Yeah.
418
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,281
It looks like that.
419
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,966
You got the contract with you?
420
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,300
Yes, sir.
421
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,722
"Fay Dance Studio."
422
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,989
Mmm-hmm.
423
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,226
Yeah.
424
00:18:49,579 --> 00:18:52,230
Well, it all seems
in good order.
425
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,798
But I want out.
426
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,811
I'm afraid, Sergeant,
there's nothing you can do.
427
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,602
The contract is legal.
428
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:00,687
You can't get out of it
unless they let you out of it.
429
00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:02,716
You mean I gotta
pay all that money?
430
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,808
Yes, I'm sorry to say.
431
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,044
As long as the dance
studio provides the services
432
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,912
they promise you
in this contract,
433
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,348
a suitable place,
a qualified partner,
434
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,434
made reasonably
available to you,
435
00:19:13,502 --> 00:19:15,402
this contract is binding.
436
00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:17,171
And there's nothing I can do?
437
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,472
Nothing.
438
00:19:19,709 --> 00:19:22,443
I, uh, do have one
suggestion, Sergeant.
439
00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:23,761
Yes, sir?
440
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,430
Buy yourself a pair of dancing
shoes. You'll need them.
441
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:35,172
Laundry: $5.75.
442
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:38,041
Insurance: $17.50.
443
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,178
Company fund: $10.
444
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,280
Allotment for mother: $50.
445
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:47,017
Dancing lessons: $250.
446
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,348
Hey, Sergeant.
447
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,241
You ain't very happy,
are you, Sergeant?
448
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,709
No, I'm not.
449
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,822
Well, I sure wish there was
something I could do to cheer you up.
450
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:16,046
I feel like this whole
thing's my fault.
451
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,865
I said forget it!
452
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:21,702
Maybe if you went and took a
dancin' lesson with me tonight,
453
00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,154
you'd feel better.
454
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,607
It's kind of lonesome
there without you.
455
00:20:26,675 --> 00:20:28,109
You miss me, huh?
456
00:20:28,177 --> 00:20:31,028
Uh-huh. Not only me, but
Fred and Ginger miss you, too.
457
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,780
I'll bet.
458
00:20:32,848 --> 00:20:35,344
In fact, Fred said if you didn't
come back to see him soon,
459
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,079
he was gonna ask the
company commander
460
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,780
if he couldn't come
here and see you.
461
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:41,071
He said that? That's right.
462
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,507
There's just one thing I
don't understand, Sergeant.
463
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,654
If you've got to pay for
them dancin' lessons,
464
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,188
how come you don't take 'em?
465
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:49,730
Look, if you're gonna take
a dancing lesson tonight, go!
466
00:20:49,799 --> 00:20:51,615
Just leave me alone!
467
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,050
Hey, Sergeant, I got an idea.
468
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,330
Good! Now go!
469
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:56,720
Now, wait a minute. Listen.
470
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,021
Why don't I scout around
471
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,591
for somebody to take
over your contract?
472
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:03,594
Swell. Why stop with
one? Why stop with one?
473
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,173
Why not get two, three, four...
474
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,731
Why not get the whole
base to take dancing lessons?
475
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,501
Well, I don't know
about... Wait a minute!
476
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:12,836
Wait a minute!
477
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,773
Did you hear what I just said?
478
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:19,309
Look, you're going there
for a dancing lesson tonight?
479
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:21,222
Get a stack of those contracts.
480
00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:24,080
Lots and lots of contracts!
481
00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:26,383
Sign these contracts
and hand them back.
482
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,196
Just sign them
and do as I tell you.
483
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:29,664
Pass the rest of
these out, down there.
484
00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:31,800
What's this all about? Who
wants dance lessons anyway?
485
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:34,235
Just sign the contract! Sign it.
Yeah, but why do we have to...
486
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:36,660
Don't ask so many
questions. Sign it! Sign it!
487
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,072
But I still don't see why...
488
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,063
Sign it! Sign it!
489
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,467
Sergeant, I can't tell
you how happy I feel.
490
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:46,002
But why did you change
your mind about my place for
491
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,516
and bring me all the business?
492
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,973
Well, Fred... Do you
mind if I call you Fred?
493
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,241
Please!
494
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,687
Well, Fred, I got to thinking.
495
00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:54,589
It's not such a
bad deal after all.
496
00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:56,613
I mean, dancing is exercise.
497
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:58,527
It could be good for the men!
498
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,684
It's wonderful! Wonderful!
499
00:22:18,488 --> 00:22:20,848
When are we gonna
get to do our tango?
500
00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:25,359
Go, man, go, go, go!
501
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:28,362
Drop this minuet and
put on some steam, baby!
502
00:22:49,752 --> 00:22:52,419
When are we gonna
get to do our tango?
503
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:06,411
We ain't done our tango yet.
504
00:23:06,435 --> 00:23:08,736
Oh, I quit!
505
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:10,237
I quit!
506
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:11,906
You can't quit! You can't quit!
507
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,474
We got contracts. Right, fellas?
508
00:23:13,542 --> 00:23:15,275
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
509
00:23:15,344 --> 00:23:16,743
Contracts? Oh, yeah?
510
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,313
Well, we'll just see about that!
511
00:23:19,381 --> 00:23:21,315
Contracts, my foot!
512
00:23:21,383 --> 00:23:23,217
Ginger, what are you doing?
513
00:23:24,387 --> 00:23:26,431
She's tearin' up
all the contracts.
514
00:23:26,455 --> 00:23:28,756
- Yeah, how about that?
- I quit! I quit!
515
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,659
She didn't get mine.
She still owes me a tango.
516
00:23:35,564 --> 00:23:36,997
You're a free man, Pyle.
517
00:23:37,065 --> 00:23:40,000
You're free, I'm free.
She tore up my contract!
518
00:23:41,236 --> 00:23:43,556
I still never did get to tango.
519
00:23:49,412 --> 00:23:51,912
Okay, Duke, close your
eyes. Here's the first one.
520
00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:53,692
Coogan. Moskawich. Here.
521
00:23:53,716 --> 00:23:54,981
Forget it, Gomer.
522
00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:57,696
I got so overheated dancing
last night, I caught a cold.
523
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,586
Carter. CARTER: Right here.
524
00:24:03,893 --> 00:24:07,027
Well, at least I know it's
not a bill from a dance studio.
525
00:24:08,497 --> 00:24:10,330
Somerville. Here.
526
00:24:10,399 --> 00:24:11,932
Stahl. Right here.
527
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,099
Watson.
528
00:24:13,168 --> 00:24:14,701
How about that?
529
00:24:14,770 --> 00:24:17,070
It's a bill from a
lawyer for $100.
530
00:24:17,139 --> 00:24:19,873
Did you sign up for some
law lessons, Sergeant?
38165
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