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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,192 --> 00:00:10,892 Gomer Pyle - USMC. 2 00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,130 Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle. 3 00:00:17,535 --> 00:00:20,536 Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter. 4 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,576 Millard. Here. 5 00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,699 Slater. Here. 6 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,536 Davenport. DAVENPORT: Here. 7 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,271 Coogan. Here. 8 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:40,406 Moskawich. 9 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,794 Philadelphia. Lois Freeder. 10 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,376 Right! 11 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,677 Here's your next one. 12 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,982 Uh, Atlanta, Georgia. Sally Rose Johnson. 13 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,952 Right. That's amazing, Duke. How do you do that? 14 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,921 Very easy, Gomer. 15 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,568 I just make sure I never give any of them the same perfume. 16 00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,758 Pyle! 17 00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:01,309 Here! Here I am! 18 00:01:04,047 --> 00:01:06,715 Spencer. Yo! 19 00:01:06,783 --> 00:01:08,917 Balkowitz. Yeah. 20 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,585 Kyle. Here. 21 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,053 Hey, you wanna smell? 22 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:15,401 Phew! Gomer, that smells like gasoline. 23 00:01:15,425 --> 00:01:16,992 It is. It's from Wally. 24 00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,794 The feller I used to work for at the fillin' station back home. 25 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,880 You're so good at guessin', 26 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,393 see if you can guess what this is. 27 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,966 Regular or high-octane? 28 00:01:28,238 --> 00:01:31,072 Oppenheim. Yeah. 29 00:01:31,141 --> 00:01:32,240 Mitchell. 30 00:01:34,912 --> 00:01:37,546 "Dear Gomer." That's the way he starts. 31 00:01:37,615 --> 00:01:40,248 Gomer, read it to yourself, will you, buddy? 32 00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,417 Don't you wanna hear Wally's letter? 33 00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:44,386 Do I have to? 34 00:01:44,454 --> 00:01:47,022 Well, he writes a real nice letter. 35 00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:49,625 Okay, let's hear it. 36 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:53,028 "Dear Gomer, enclosed you'll find some mail 37 00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:55,430 "that was sent to you here at the filling station. 38 00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:57,098 "Regards, Wally." 39 00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,284 That's it? 40 00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:00,952 Uh-huh. Ain't that nice? 41 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,716 It's real short and to the point. 42 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,523 Yeah. You ought to save them. 43 00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,458 Put them in a book someday, you know? 44 00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,827 The Life and Letters of Gomer Pyle. 45 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,131 I can always tell when you're pullin' my leg, Duke. 46 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,600 You get an insincere look in your eyes. 47 00:02:17,654 --> 00:02:19,354 Hey, Duke, listen to this. 48 00:02:20,857 --> 00:02:22,691 "Don't be a wallflower. 49 00:02:22,759 --> 00:02:26,194 "Be the life of the party. Learn to dance. 50 00:02:26,263 --> 00:02:28,563 "This ticket entitles you to one free lesson 51 00:02:28,632 --> 00:02:31,399 "at the Plaza Dance Studio." 52 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,163 What good does that do you, Gome? It's... 53 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:35,120 Dance studio's in Mayberry. 54 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:37,055 Ain't that a shame? 55 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,357 A free dance lesson, and I have to pass it up. 56 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,876 You know how to dance, Gomer. I've seen you. 57 00:02:41,945 --> 00:02:44,913 Yeah, but they got some new things out nowadays. 58 00:02:44,982 --> 00:02:47,265 You know, them South American steps? 59 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,661 Well, if you're so anxious to learn, 60 00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:50,530 why don't you go to a dance studio here in town? 61 00:02:50,554 --> 00:02:54,088 There's one on Grant Street. I've passed it a lot of times. 62 00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:56,190 I will, Duke. The very next liberty. 63 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,544 Good. And when you become another Fred Astaire, 64 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,372 don't forget your old buddy Duke. 65 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,599 You got that insincere look again. 66 00:03:09,339 --> 00:03:11,284 Look, why don't you admit it? You made a mistake. 67 00:03:11,308 --> 00:03:13,075 So let's just pack up and get out of here. 68 00:03:13,143 --> 00:03:14,854 I told you. We're not leaving. 69 00:03:14,878 --> 00:03:17,090 This is one of the fastest-growing towns in the country. 70 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,476 I'm tellin' you, there's a lot of money here, and we can get some of it. 71 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,567 Well, when you do, give $75 of it to the landlord. 72 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,269 Was he here again? 73 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,304 Yeah, about 10 minutes before you came in. 74 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,940 75 bucks a month for this firetrap. 75 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,075 Three weeks I've been sitting here, 76 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:34,546 three weeks just waiting for somebody to come through that door. 77 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,848 Just one patsy. 78 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,451 Hey, there. 79 00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,554 Well, well, well, 80 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,123 one of our fighting men in uniform. 81 00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:46,669 It's always nice to welcome 82 00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,905 one of our boys in the service. 83 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,061 Are you Mr. Fay? 84 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,057 That's right, and this is Mrs. Fay. 85 00:03:52,081 --> 00:03:54,293 Our friends call us Fred and Ginger. 86 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,051 Well, hey, Fred. Hey, Ginger. 87 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,586 My name's Gomer Pyle. 88 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,856 Private Gomer Pyle, and I got this in the mail. 89 00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:03,191 I was just wonderin' 90 00:04:03,259 --> 00:04:05,560 if you people have a plan like that one there, 91 00:04:05,628 --> 00:04:06,728 and if you do, 92 00:04:06,797 --> 00:04:08,713 I'd like to get my free dance lesson here. 93 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,982 I can dance some, but I wanna get a whack at 94 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,251 is some of that South American stuff. 95 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,253 Well, as a matter of fact, 96 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,362 we do have reciprocal agreements 97 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:20,169 with other dance studios throughout the United States and Canada. 98 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,573 Now, I'll check and see if the Plaza Dance Studio in Mayberry is listed. 99 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,998 May I have the reciprocal agreement, Ginger? 100 00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:29,100 Oh, oh, the reciprocal agreement, yes. 101 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,303 Thank you. 102 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:33,116 All right, let's see here. 103 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,605 Uh, P, P, P, P, P. 104 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:37,492 Ah, Plaza Dance Studio, Mayberry. 105 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,129 There we go, Gomer, we can give you the free dance lesson. 106 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,098 Well, I sure would be much obliged. 107 00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:45,406 And there is no time like the present to start. 108 00:04:45,468 --> 00:04:47,413 Ginger, give Gomer his free lesson. 109 00:04:47,437 --> 00:04:49,204 Oh, I'd love to. 110 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,806 Ain't I lucky? 111 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,821 Imagine you folks havin' the same kind of plan they got back home! 112 00:04:57,614 --> 00:04:59,592 I hope I don't dance too bad for you. 113 00:04:59,616 --> 00:05:00,949 Oh, I'll bet you'll be 114 00:05:01,017 --> 00:05:02,529 the best pupil I've had in weeks. 115 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:03,585 Oh, Ginger, 116 00:05:03,653 --> 00:05:05,520 may I speak to you for a second? 117 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,475 Look, this clown could be our "in" at the Marine base. 118 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,177 Sweetie, leave it to me. 119 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,516 Oh, yes, we'll start with the cha-cha-cha, 120 00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,028 but before we put the record on, 121 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,453 let me just show you the basic counts, all right? 122 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,632 All right. 123 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,088 Now, you come right here. 124 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,357 And we begin, 125 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:29,461 and one, two, three, cha-cha-cha, 126 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,497 two, three, cha-cha-cha, 127 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:35,367 two, three, cha-cha-cha, 128 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,136 two, three, cha-cha-cha, 129 00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,572 two, three, cha-cha-cha, two, three, cha-cha-cha, 130 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,974 two, three. Good, Gomer. 131 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,109 Two, three, cha-cha-cha, 132 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,745 two, three, cha-cha-cha, 133 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:51,015 two, three. Now keep your shoulders up. 134 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,484 Cha-cha-cha. 135 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,863 You can relax a little bit. 136 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:57,055 And cha-cha-cha, two, three, cha-cha-cha, 137 00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:00,625 two, three, cha-cha-cha, two, three... 138 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,719 Whoo! 139 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:30,622 Whoo, that was some workout, Gomer! 140 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,790 Well, you did just fine. 141 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,626 You mean an hour's up already? 142 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,905 Yes, as a matter of fact, 143 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,873 it's been an hour and 15 minutes. 144 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,832 Boy, don't time fly when you're havin' fun? 145 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,735 Oh, that was just fine, Gomer, fine. 146 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,671 I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kindness. 147 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,884 It was real nice of you 148 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,752 to give me that free dance lesson. 149 00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:50,976 Thank you, Ginger. 150 00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,944 Thank you, Fred. 151 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,091 It was a pleasure meetin' both of you. 152 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,316 Well, I expect I better be gettin' back now, 153 00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,918 so, bye. 154 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,720 Well, now, hold it. Wait a minute. 155 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,254 Uh, what about your other lessons? 156 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,424 You just can't quit after your first free one. 157 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,071 You mean I get more free lessons? 158 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,794 Well, no, only the first one is free, 159 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,429 but that is given on the condition 160 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,032 that you sign up for a full course. 161 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,461 Oh, I didn't know about that. Of course. 162 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,265 Otherwise, we'd just be in business to give free lessons. 163 00:07:19,289 --> 00:07:20,855 And we'd like to do that, 164 00:07:20,924 --> 00:07:23,858 because we enjoy our work, but we have to pay the rent. 165 00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:26,360 Now, you could take our minimum course, 166 00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:28,629 which is 10 lessons for only $50. 167 00:07:29,066 --> 00:07:30,531 $50? 168 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,578 Oh, well, it would be for your own good, Gomer. 169 00:07:32,602 --> 00:07:34,313 With only one lesson under your belt, 170 00:07:34,337 --> 00:07:35,981 you'd be a menace on that dance floor. 171 00:07:36,005 --> 00:07:37,450 Fred's right, Gomer. 172 00:07:37,474 --> 00:07:39,519 That would be like giving someone one driving lesson 173 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,976 and then turning them loose on the highway. 174 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,811 Yeah, but $50... 175 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,514 Well, now, I said you could take that course, 176 00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,416 but I wouldn't advise it for you. 177 00:07:48,484 --> 00:07:51,552 No, I think you'd be better off with our 3-month plan. 178 00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:53,822 Now, that costs $100, 179 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,623 but you have three months to pay. 180 00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,804 And that comes to just a little over $33 a month. 181 00:07:57,828 --> 00:07:59,894 Well, that's a little better. 182 00:07:59,963 --> 00:08:03,698 Maybe the 6-month plan would be even better than that, Fred. 183 00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,633 That's only $25 a month. 184 00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:08,252 Well, actually, I think the 2-year plan 185 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,721 would be cheaper, Ginger. 186 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,056 That would come to just $20 a month. 187 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,226 You know, the 5-year plan would be even cheaper. 188 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,272 After only one small down payment, Gomer, 189 00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,597 all you'd have to pay is $15 a month. 190 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,999 What do you think? 191 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,867 Well, I don't know. 192 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,503 I'm only a private, and we don't make much. 193 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,555 Don't you have a serviceman's rate, maybe? 194 00:08:27,624 --> 00:08:30,558 Oh, I understand, Gomer, but... 195 00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,727 Now, why didn't I think of it? 196 00:08:32,796 --> 00:08:35,196 I have the perfect plan for you, 197 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,766 tailor-made for the man with a small income. 198 00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:39,334 It's our cheapest course. 199 00:08:39,403 --> 00:08:41,847 What's that? I don't know why I didn't think of it. 200 00:08:41,871 --> 00:08:43,972 It's our lifetime plan. 201 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,974 Lifetime plan? That's right. 202 00:08:46,042 --> 00:08:47,274 Now, our lifetime plan 203 00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:49,677 enables you to take as many lessons as you want 204 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:50,945 when you want them 205 00:08:51,014 --> 00:08:53,414 at any one of our studios throughout the world! 206 00:08:53,483 --> 00:08:55,160 Well, how much is that one? 207 00:08:55,184 --> 00:08:57,418 Well, according to our mortality rates, 208 00:08:57,487 --> 00:08:59,587 a fellow your age on the lifetime plan 209 00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:00,955 would wind up paying 210 00:09:01,024 --> 00:09:03,958 an average of 8 cents a lesson. 211 00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:05,643 Only 8 cents? 212 00:09:05,695 --> 00:09:08,163 Well, I sure ought to be able to afford 8 cents a lesson. 213 00:09:08,231 --> 00:09:09,397 That's good. 214 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,533 Now, if you'll just sign these contracts, 215 00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:13,668 both copies, please. 216 00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:17,372 Lifetime contract, huh? 217 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,840 Good anywhere in the world. 218 00:09:19,909 --> 00:09:21,309 Shazam! 219 00:09:21,378 --> 00:09:24,412 Cha-cha-cha, three, two, cha-cha-cha, 220 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,548 shoulders back, cha-cha-cha, 221 00:09:26,616 --> 00:09:31,018 relax, cha-cha-cha, that's fine, Gomer... 222 00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:33,120 Two, two, cha-cha-cha, 223 00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:35,990 four, two, cha-cha-cha. 224 00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:37,725 Pyle! 225 00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,034 Oh, hey, Sergeant. 226 00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,306 I finished my noon chow early 227 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,141 so I could come back and do this. 228 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,685 What do you think you're doing? 229 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:46,100 Practicin' my cha-cha. Do you cha-cha? 230 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,336 Pyle, this is a Marine barracks, not a ballet school. 231 00:09:48,405 --> 00:09:50,104 Knock it off. 232 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,039 I'm sorry, Sergeant. 233 00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:55,188 I was just practicin' so I'd be better for my next lesson. 234 00:09:55,212 --> 00:09:56,944 Your what? 235 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,957 My next lesson. I signed up for dancin' lessons. 236 00:09:58,981 --> 00:10:00,582 You signed up for what? 237 00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:03,100 Dancin' lessons, over at the Fay Dance Studio. 238 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,586 They gave me this free lesson, and then I signed up... 239 00:10:05,655 --> 00:10:08,072 You signed something? Did you sign a piece of paper? 240 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,285 Uh-huh, I signed a... 241 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,208 Let me see what you signed. Let me see it! 242 00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:18,482 A lifetime contract? 243 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,597 Uh-huh. And they gave me a badge and everything. 244 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,721 How many times do I have to tell you, Pyle, 245 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,089 you don't sign anything! 246 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,492 Pyle, how many times do I have to tell you 247 00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:30,227 that Marines are easy prey for crooks and swindlers? 248 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:33,130 These are con artists, and you have been conned! 249 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,349 Oh, no, Sergeant... 250 00:10:34,417 --> 00:10:36,095 The minute you have to sign something, 251 00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:38,219 you can smell the swindle! 252 00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:39,965 But, Sergeant, if I just... 253 00:10:39,989 --> 00:10:42,819 Tonight, right after chow, you're gonna take me over to that school. 254 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,643 I'm gonna meet these crumbs, 255 00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,489 and I'm gonna get you out of this thing. 256 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,191 But I don't wanna get out. I'm gonna get you out of it! 257 00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,982 But, Sergeant... Out, out! I'm gonna get you out! 258 00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,732 This is the place right here. 259 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:59,324 But I don't really wanna get out of it, Sergeant. 260 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,059 Now, Pyle, I'm doing this for your own good. 261 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:03,494 Wait right here. 262 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,895 I'll be right back. 263 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,273 Well, well, well, 264 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,575 one of our fighting men in uniform! 265 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:18,954 It's always nice to welcome 266 00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:20,356 one of our boys in the service. 267 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,963 Can I help you, Sergeant? 268 00:11:22,032 --> 00:11:23,915 You sure can. 269 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:26,117 I'll say you can. 270 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,087 One of my men was in here yesterday. Gomer Pyle. 271 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:30,499 He tells me that... Who? 272 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,423 Gomer Pyle. 273 00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:35,171 He tells me that you people sold him a lifetime membership. 274 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:39,713 Uh, Fred, did you see the way he walked? 275 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,560 If I didn't see it with my own eyes, 276 00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:43,095 I wouldn't have believed it. 277 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,452 Walk toward us again. 278 00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:46,738 Huh? 279 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,340 Just back up and walk toward us again. 280 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,009 I... I wanna see something. 281 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:52,944 There. 282 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,615 Now come on. 283 00:11:58,785 --> 00:11:59,918 Come on. 284 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,193 Amazing! 285 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:13,064 A man so strong and so muscular, 286 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:17,235 and he walks as softly as a cat. 287 00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:20,671 Yes, like a large cat. 288 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,106 Sergeant... 289 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,209 Dance a couple of steps for me. 290 00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:26,827 What? 291 00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:29,280 Oh, for me, please. 292 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,628 Well, maybe the Sergeant is a little self-conscious with an audience. 293 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,652 I've got some work to do in the back. 294 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,024 Shall we? 295 00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:54,205 Just like a cat. 296 00:12:56,042 --> 00:13:00,044 Like a big, graceful cat. 297 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,280 Hmm. 298 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,467 Hey, Sergeant. 299 00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:25,537 How did it go? Did you have any trouble? 300 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,806 Pyle, you don't understand anything, do you? 301 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,074 Huh? 302 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,343 You fool, you ought to have your head examined, 303 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,647 signing a lifetime contract for dancing lessons. 304 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,948 I'm sorry, Sergeant. 305 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:41,286 You should have taken the 5-year plan, like I did! 306 00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:50,061 Carter. Yo! 307 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,930 Davenport. 308 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,943 Hey, I got a letter from the dance studio. 309 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,447 They're writin' to me like we was pen pals. 310 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,538 You got one from 'em, too, Sergeant. 311 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,574 Davenport! Here. 312 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,675 Coogan! Here. 313 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:04,842 What? 314 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,622 What's the matter, Sergeant? 315 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,313 Well, it's a bill. 316 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:11,382 A bill for $250! 317 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,628 You see, Sergeant? 318 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,630 I told you not to take that 5-year plan. 319 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,599 That's the one with the big down payment. 320 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,123 You should have taken a lifetime plan, like me. 321 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,559 My bill's only $10 a month for life. 322 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,962 $250? 323 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,833 Hey, Sergeant! 324 00:14:45,902 --> 00:14:48,002 Wait, and I'll dance over there. 325 00:14:50,539 --> 00:14:52,339 Relax, I'll lead, Gomer. 326 00:14:55,745 --> 00:14:57,022 Soon as I learn how to lead, 327 00:14:57,046 --> 00:15:00,014 I'll be able to dance in any direction I want to. 328 00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:01,761 Gomer's just about finished, Sergeant. 329 00:15:01,785 --> 00:15:03,595 Are you ready for your lesson today? 330 00:15:03,619 --> 00:15:05,286 I'm not taking a lesson today. 331 00:15:05,354 --> 00:15:06,594 You're not? 332 00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:09,841 I'm not taking a lesson today or any other day. 333 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,575 Well, is something the matter, Sergeant? 334 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:15,313 You bet there is. This contract. I want out. 335 00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,181 I sure am sorry, Sergeant. 336 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,750 I thought we'd be kind of like classmates. 337 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,620 Pyle, can't you see what's going on here? 338 00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,005 This whole dance school is a swindle. 339 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,323 A swindle? 340 00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:28,759 It's a racket! Nothing but a racket! 341 00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:32,996 Well, how are our two star pupils getting along? 342 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,865 Gomer's doing just fine, dear, 343 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,601 but Sergeant Carter seems to have a problem. 344 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:40,137 Oh. Something I can help you with, Sergeant? 345 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:41,672 Yeah. I'm quittin'. 346 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,419 I wanna be let out of my contract. 347 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,510 The Sergeant thinks he's being swindled. 348 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,390 Oh. Well, this is hard to believe. 349 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,574 Is this true, Sergeant? 350 00:15:49,598 --> 00:15:51,532 That's right. 351 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,600 Well, Sergeant, I'm a reasonable man, 352 00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:55,770 and this is a respectable business. 353 00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:58,205 We don't believe in pressuring people. 354 00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,974 Now, if you don't want any more lessons, 355 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,242 you don't have to take any more lessons. 356 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,557 I don't? Of course not. 357 00:16:05,581 --> 00:16:08,115 If you don't want any, you don't have to take any. 358 00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:11,819 Well, that's... 359 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,254 That's awfully decent of you. 360 00:16:14,323 --> 00:16:15,622 Not at all. 361 00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,626 Well, I... 362 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,747 Guess I'll be going. 363 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,760 Coming, Pyle? Sure, Sergeant. 364 00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,885 Oh, Sergeant. Didn't you forget something? 365 00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,020 Forget something? 366 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:33,307 Yes. The first installment on your bill. 367 00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:35,526 $250. 368 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,695 But you said I didn't have to take the lessons. 369 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:40,408 That's right. You don't have to take the lessons. 370 00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:42,677 You just have to pay the bills. 371 00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:43,968 What are you trying to do? 372 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,147 Now, look, buddy, 373 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,681 we are not running a charity ball. 374 00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,951 You signed a contract, you're gonna pay. 375 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:51,192 We'll see about that! Well, you will! 376 00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:52,326 I will not! 377 00:16:52,395 --> 00:16:53,772 You want me to bring legal action? 378 00:16:53,796 --> 00:16:55,329 Do you want me to bring legal action? 379 00:16:56,799 --> 00:16:58,511 Wait a minute, wait a minute! 380 00:16:58,535 --> 00:17:00,634 Now, I know that there's a way out of this. 381 00:17:00,703 --> 00:17:03,504 Mr. Fay, why don't you tear up the Sergeant's contract 382 00:17:03,573 --> 00:17:05,206 like he wants you to? 383 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:08,209 And, Sergeant, why don't you sign a new contract? 384 00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,855 A lifetime one, like I got. 385 00:17:09,879 --> 00:17:11,479 It's only pennies a day. 386 00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:26,194 Now, what can I do for you? 387 00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,340 Well, sir, you see, I'm a sergeant, 388 00:17:28,364 --> 00:17:30,042 and I got a lot of men under me. 389 00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:33,011 My job is not only teaching them how to be Marines, 390 00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:36,153 but I gotta be, like, uh, a buddy to 'em. 391 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,699 Most of 'em are just young kids 392 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,790 who've never been away from home before, 393 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:42,810 and they get clipped by every kind of con game there is. 394 00:17:42,879 --> 00:17:44,362 Yes, Sergeant, I know. 395 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,597 Well, I try to steer them clear of these crooks, 396 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,260 but when these kids go into town, 397 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,350 I can't keep my eye on every one of them. 398 00:17:50,419 --> 00:17:51,919 Oh, I understand. 399 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,421 Well, there's this dance studio in town. 400 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,601 Now it's a clip joint if ever I saw one. 401 00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:58,137 They get these kids in there 402 00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,388 and make them sign their lives away for dancing lessons! 403 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,090 And one of your men signed a contract? 404 00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,354 Yes, sir. 405 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,960 And you want me to help him get out of it. 406 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,929 Well, not really. He's happy with the lessons. 407 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:08,913 Well, just what is it you want me to do? 408 00:18:10,272 --> 00:18:11,739 Help me get out of mine. 409 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,891 You, Sergeant? 410 00:18:14,811 --> 00:18:17,194 You signed one of those contracts? 411 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,464 Well, yes, sir, I... 412 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:24,568 Actually, I... I did it because I was trying to 413 00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:26,603 trap 'em. 414 00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,805 Yeah, that's it! I was trying to trap 'em! 415 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,358 Well, it seems your little scheme backfired. 416 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,211 It looks like they trapped you. 417 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,246 Yeah. 418 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,281 It looks like that. 419 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,966 You got the contract with you? 420 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,300 Yes, sir. 421 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,722 "Fay Dance Studio." 422 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,989 Mmm-hmm. 423 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,226 Yeah. 424 00:18:49,579 --> 00:18:52,230 Well, it all seems in good order. 425 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,798 But I want out. 426 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,811 I'm afraid, Sergeant, there's nothing you can do. 427 00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,602 The contract is legal. 428 00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:00,687 You can't get out of it unless they let you out of it. 429 00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:02,716 You mean I gotta pay all that money? 430 00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,808 Yes, I'm sorry to say. 431 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,044 As long as the dance studio provides the services 432 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,912 they promise you in this contract, 433 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,348 a suitable place, a qualified partner, 434 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,434 made reasonably available to you, 435 00:19:13,502 --> 00:19:15,402 this contract is binding. 436 00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:17,171 And there's nothing I can do? 437 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,472 Nothing. 438 00:19:19,709 --> 00:19:22,443 I, uh, do have one suggestion, Sergeant. 439 00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:23,761 Yes, sir? 440 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,430 Buy yourself a pair of dancing shoes. You'll need them. 441 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:35,172 Laundry: $5.75. 442 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:38,041 Insurance: $17.50. 443 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,178 Company fund: $10. 444 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,280 Allotment for mother: $50. 445 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:47,017 Dancing lessons: $250. 446 00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,348 Hey, Sergeant. 447 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,241 You ain't very happy, are you, Sergeant? 448 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,709 No, I'm not. 449 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,822 Well, I sure wish there was something I could do to cheer you up. 450 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:16,046 I feel like this whole thing's my fault. 451 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,865 I said forget it! 452 00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:21,702 Maybe if you went and took a dancin' lesson with me tonight, 453 00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,154 you'd feel better. 454 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,607 It's kind of lonesome there without you. 455 00:20:26,675 --> 00:20:28,109 You miss me, huh? 456 00:20:28,177 --> 00:20:31,028 Uh-huh. Not only me, but Fred and Ginger miss you, too. 457 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,780 I'll bet. 458 00:20:32,848 --> 00:20:35,344 In fact, Fred said if you didn't come back to see him soon, 459 00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,079 he was gonna ask the company commander 460 00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,780 if he couldn't come here and see you. 461 00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:41,071 He said that? That's right. 462 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,507 There's just one thing I don't understand, Sergeant. 463 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,654 If you've got to pay for them dancin' lessons, 464 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,188 how come you don't take 'em? 465 00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:49,730 Look, if you're gonna take a dancing lesson tonight, go! 466 00:20:49,799 --> 00:20:51,615 Just leave me alone! 467 00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,050 Hey, Sergeant, I got an idea. 468 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,330 Good! Now go! 469 00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:56,720 Now, wait a minute. Listen. 470 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,021 Why don't I scout around 471 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,591 for somebody to take over your contract? 472 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:03,594 Swell. Why stop with one? Why stop with one? 473 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,173 Why not get two, three, four... 474 00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,731 Why not get the whole base to take dancing lessons? 475 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,501 Well, I don't know about... Wait a minute! 476 00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:12,836 Wait a minute! 477 00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,773 Did you hear what I just said? 478 00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:19,309 Look, you're going there for a dancing lesson tonight? 479 00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:21,222 Get a stack of those contracts. 480 00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:24,080 Lots and lots of contracts! 481 00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:26,383 Sign these contracts and hand them back. 482 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,196 Just sign them and do as I tell you. 483 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:29,664 Pass the rest of these out, down there. 484 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:31,800 What's this all about? Who wants dance lessons anyway? 485 00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:34,235 Just sign the contract! Sign it. Yeah, but why do we have to... 486 00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:36,660 Don't ask so many questions. Sign it! Sign it! 487 00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,072 But I still don't see why... 488 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,063 Sign it! Sign it! 489 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,467 Sergeant, I can't tell you how happy I feel. 490 00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:46,002 But why did you change your mind about my place for 491 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,516 and bring me all the business? 492 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,973 Well, Fred... Do you mind if I call you Fred? 493 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,241 Please! 494 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,687 Well, Fred, I got to thinking. 495 00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:54,589 It's not such a bad deal after all. 496 00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:56,613 I mean, dancing is exercise. 497 00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:58,527 It could be good for the men! 498 00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,684 It's wonderful! Wonderful! 499 00:22:18,488 --> 00:22:20,848 When are we gonna get to do our tango? 500 00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:25,359 Go, man, go, go, go! 501 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:28,362 Drop this minuet and put on some steam, baby! 502 00:22:49,752 --> 00:22:52,419 When are we gonna get to do our tango? 503 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:06,411 We ain't done our tango yet. 504 00:23:06,435 --> 00:23:08,736 Oh, I quit! 505 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:10,237 I quit! 506 00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:11,906 You can't quit! You can't quit! 507 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,474 We got contracts. Right, fellas? 508 00:23:13,542 --> 00:23:15,275 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 509 00:23:15,344 --> 00:23:16,743 Contracts? Oh, yeah? 510 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,313 Well, we'll just see about that! 511 00:23:19,381 --> 00:23:21,315 Contracts, my foot! 512 00:23:21,383 --> 00:23:23,217 Ginger, what are you doing? 513 00:23:24,387 --> 00:23:26,431 She's tearin' up all the contracts. 514 00:23:26,455 --> 00:23:28,756 - Yeah, how about that? - I quit! I quit! 515 00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,659 She didn't get mine. She still owes me a tango. 516 00:23:35,564 --> 00:23:36,997 You're a free man, Pyle. 517 00:23:37,065 --> 00:23:40,000 You're free, I'm free. She tore up my contract! 518 00:23:41,236 --> 00:23:43,556 I still never did get to tango. 519 00:23:49,412 --> 00:23:51,912 Okay, Duke, close your eyes. Here's the first one. 520 00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:53,692 Coogan. Moskawich. Here. 521 00:23:53,716 --> 00:23:54,981 Forget it, Gomer. 522 00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:57,696 I got so overheated dancing last night, I caught a cold. 523 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,586 Carter. CARTER: Right here. 524 00:24:03,893 --> 00:24:07,027 Well, at least I know it's not a bill from a dance studio. 525 00:24:08,497 --> 00:24:10,330 Somerville. Here. 526 00:24:10,399 --> 00:24:11,932 Stahl. Right here. 527 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,099 Watson. 528 00:24:13,168 --> 00:24:14,701 How about that? 529 00:24:14,770 --> 00:24:17,070 It's a bill from a lawyer for $100. 530 00:24:17,139 --> 00:24:19,873 Did you sign up for some law lessons, Sergeant? 38165

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