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1
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:11,076
Gomer Pyle - USMC.
2
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,913
Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.
3
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,519
Also starring Frank
Sutton as Sergeant Carter.
4
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,790
Good morning, sir. Good morning.
5
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,509
Good morning, sir. Good morning.
6
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,968
Good morning, sir.
Good morning, sir.
7
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,936
I asked you men to drop in
8
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:40,238
because I have a
little favor to ask of you.
9
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,373
It's about this little
dance on Saturday night
10
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:45,176
for the, uh, for the
enlisted men. Yes, sir?
11
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,386
I think you all know
my daughter, don't you?
12
00:00:47,410 --> 00:00:48,246
- Of course, sir.
13
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,848
Well, she's coming home
from college on Saturday,
14
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,850
and there's the
matter of an escort
15
00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:54,881
and I was wondering if one
of you men might be free.
16
00:00:54,905 --> 00:00:57,939
I think she should be accompanied
by a man from the base.
17
00:00:58,008 --> 00:00:59,841
Well, I'd deem it an honor, sir,
18
00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:02,143
but it just so happens I
have a date. Sorry, sir.
19
00:01:02,212 --> 00:01:05,363
I don't want anybody
to break a date.
20
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:08,834
Well, I'm not much of
a dancer, sir, and, uh,
21
00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:11,703
well, uh, it might
be a little dull for her.
22
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:13,972
I understand.
23
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,890
What about you,
Barker? You got a date?
24
00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:19,294
Well, not exactly,
sir, but I might have.
25
00:01:19,363 --> 00:01:22,631
It's this girl who said she
might come or she might not.
26
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,399
It could go either way.
27
00:01:24,468 --> 00:01:27,068
It's just that
I'm not sure, sir.
28
00:01:27,137 --> 00:01:29,420
Of course.
29
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:31,184
Sorry, sir, I have
to meet my mother.
30
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:32,491
I see.
31
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,337
Thank you for coming
in, gentlemen. Yes, sir.
32
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,894
Thank you, sir.
33
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,802
Well, sir, which
one is it going to be?
34
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:46,237
None of them could make it,
35
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,757
and I think I know
the reason why.
36
00:01:48,825 --> 00:01:51,393
Nobody wants to get saddled
with the boss's daughter.
37
00:01:51,462 --> 00:01:53,172
And that's what this amounts to.
38
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,747
I mean, to be on guard
during a date, that's no fun.
39
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,315
Uh, sir...
40
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,751
And they're probably being
wary of my wife's watchfulness.
41
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,471
Uh, she's a bit
overprotective, you know.
42
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,933
Uh, sir, I have a thought.
43
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,901
After all, this is the
enlisted men's dance.
44
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:08,493
It doesn't have to
be an officer, does it?
45
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,712
No, not necessarily.
46
00:02:10,781 --> 00:02:14,060
Well, sir, I think you could find a
suitable escort among the enlisted men.
47
00:02:14,084 --> 00:02:15,845
It might be more
preferable, sir,
48
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,247
to make the thing look
democratic, if you know what I mean.
49
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,338
That's an idea.
50
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,069
I'll speak to the platoon sergeants
and have them make suggestions?
51
00:02:23,093 --> 00:02:26,194
Yes. My wife's a bit
of a worrier, you know,
52
00:02:26,263 --> 00:02:28,430
but I'm sure the
man will be all right.
53
00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:31,111
You understand? Oh,
yes, sir. No problem, sir.
54
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:32,734
All right. Fine.
55
00:02:32,802 --> 00:02:34,469
Go ahead, Captain.
56
00:02:35,038 --> 00:02:38,489
By the way, are you
busy on Saturday?
57
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:41,993
Sorry, sir, uh, as a
matter of fact, uh, I am.
58
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,327
Carry on.
59
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:47,231
Well, what about you?
Who are you taking?
60
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,678
Me? Oh, I ain't goin'.
61
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,647
You're not going to
the dance? How come?
62
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,716
There's this picture on
television that I don't wanna miss.
63
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,205
It's Tarzan Untamed.
64
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,824
You mean you wanna watch
that "Me Tarzan, you Jane"?
65
00:02:56,893 --> 00:02:59,027
Well, I don't go for that
gushy stuff too much.
66
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:02,075
What I like is when an elephant
picks Tarzan up with his trunk
67
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,699
and old Tarzan just sits
there on the elephant's head.
68
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,001
You don't see a thing
like that too often.
69
00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:08,786
Oh, I'll go along
with that, Gome.
70
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,723
Okay, men, I want to know
who has dates for the dance.
71
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,225
Come on, hands.
72
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,760
All of you?
73
00:03:19,216 --> 00:03:20,748
Pyle, you don't have a date?
74
00:03:20,817 --> 00:03:22,384
No, Sergeant.
75
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,485
Oh.
76
00:03:25,322 --> 00:03:27,122
Come over here, Pyle.
77
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,227
You might have a date.
78
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,257
It's not set yet, but you might.
79
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:36,214
Well, thanks for
thinking of me, Sergeant,
80
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,395
but there's this television
program on Saturday night
81
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,729
that I've been pointin' for.
82
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,336
It's Tarzan Untamed.
83
00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:44,489
This happens to be
Colonel Harper's daughter.
84
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,258
That's the date.
85
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,360
The Colonel's daughter?
86
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,563
Shoot, even if I didn't have
other plans, I couldn't take her.
87
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,065
Why not?
88
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:56,901
Well, golly, she's the
Colonel's daughter.
89
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,921
Well, you've taken
out girls before.
90
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,139
Or have you?
91
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:03,841
Shoot, yeah, but nobody
ever this important.
92
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,177
The most important girl I
ever took out back home
93
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,795
was the county
assessor's daughter.
94
00:04:07,864 --> 00:04:09,498
That's as high as
I ever wanna go.
95
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,500
The daughter of
a civil-service man.
96
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:12,768
Pyle...
97
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,969
And even then I remember
my hands got all sweaty.
98
00:04:15,038 --> 00:04:16,170
Pyle...
99
00:04:16,239 --> 00:04:18,306
And my heart was going
"Ka-thump, ka-thump."
100
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:19,941
I was nervous is what.
101
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,888
Pyle, will you calm down?
You haven't been picked yet.
102
00:04:21,912 --> 00:04:23,978
I wouldn't even know
what to talk to her about.
103
00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:25,792
At least with the county
assessor's daughter
104
00:04:25,816 --> 00:04:28,160
I was able to keep up a
running chatter on assessments.
105
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,229
Now, that can be a
real meaty subject.
106
00:04:30,253 --> 00:04:32,587
Pyle, you are the only one
who doesn't have a date,
107
00:04:32,656 --> 00:04:34,322
so I'm submitting your name.
108
00:04:34,391 --> 00:04:36,425
Each company is sending
in a name to the Colonel
109
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,527
so they can pick the
best man for the job.
110
00:04:38,595 --> 00:04:41,596
They're probably looking for
somebody who is a nice dancer,
111
00:04:41,665 --> 00:04:44,198
a good talker, a
smart companion...
112
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:46,768
You don't have a
thing to worry about.
113
00:04:46,837 --> 00:04:48,202
I'm praying.
114
00:04:48,271 --> 00:04:51,172
Sergeant, do you know
anything at all about her?
115
00:04:51,241 --> 00:04:52,908
She's the Colonel's daughter.
116
00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:54,542
Oh, the Colonel's daughter.
117
00:04:54,611 --> 00:04:55,761
"Gomer Pyle."
118
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,540
What kind of a man
is he, Sergeant?
119
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,698
Well, sir, he...
120
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:03,401
Excuse me, sir, is
Pyle the man selected?
121
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,803
I don't know yet.
122
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,805
I want to find out a
little more about him.
123
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:10,341
What I'm looking for,
primarily, is a certain type.
124
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:13,394
I'd say he's a
"type" all right, sir.
125
00:05:13,464 --> 00:05:14,596
How do you mean?
126
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:17,916
Well, sir, he never goes out,
127
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,218
doesn't do anything,
128
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,804
doesn't have anything
interesting to talk about.
129
00:05:22,872 --> 00:05:24,106
Innocuous.
130
00:05:24,174 --> 00:05:25,206
Sir?
131
00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:26,290
Harmless.
132
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,593
Oh. He certainly is, sir.
133
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,462
Uh, might even say "dull".
134
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,063
Dull. Yes, sir.
135
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,548
Good. Sounds perfect.
136
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,684
Sir?
137
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,620
My wife will feel quite comfortable
with him. Gomer Pyle it is.
138
00:05:39,623 --> 00:05:40,888
Yes, sir.
139
00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:43,725
An enlisted man?
140
00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:44,892
Mmm-hmm.
141
00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:46,645
Who is he? What do
we know about him?
142
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,830
I checked this boy's
record, and it's fine.
143
00:05:48,898 --> 00:05:51,849
And the Sergeant assures me
that he's a perfect gentleman.
144
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,251
It's gonna be all right.
145
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,786
The Sergeant?
146
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,967
Edna, this is only
for one evening,
147
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,775
and it'll be nice for
Jane to have an escort.
148
00:06:00,844 --> 00:06:02,593
And as a matter of fact,
149
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:05,196
an enlisted man may
be even more interesting.
150
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:07,460
All right, all right. I won't
say another word about it.
151
00:06:07,484 --> 00:06:09,917
Yeah, but you've
got to stop worrying.
152
00:06:09,987 --> 00:06:11,853
Right? Right.
153
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,907
Where's he from?
154
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:19,494
Uh, the South. A country boy.
155
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,396
You didn't tell me about that.
156
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,231
What's wrong with a country boy?
157
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,034
What's wrong? Well,
they're the worst kind.
158
00:06:26,102 --> 00:06:27,502
Those quiet country boys.
159
00:06:27,571 --> 00:06:30,005
They're the kind that
turn into howling wolves.
160
00:06:33,109 --> 00:06:34,826
That's ridiculous.
161
00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:36,027
Oh, is it?
162
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,129
Have you read about
the scandalous goings-on
163
00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:41,733
in those quiet country towns
with those quiet country boys?
164
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:45,720
Edna, stop worrying.
Everything's gonna be all right.
165
00:06:45,789 --> 00:06:48,723
Then I won't take my eyes
off them for one second.
166
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,828
Hey, Sergeant.
167
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,663
Did you send for me?
168
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,500
Guess who?
169
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:04,338
I knew it. I just knew it.
170
00:07:04,408 --> 00:07:07,052
I had the feeling right from the
beginning it was gonna be me.
171
00:07:07,076 --> 00:07:09,796
There was something just in
the pit of my stomach. I knew it.
172
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,579
I knew it was gonna be me.
173
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,826
Now, Pyle, now, Pyle,
take it easy. Take it easy.
174
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,762
After all, I got more
at stake than you have.
175
00:07:15,786 --> 00:07:18,364
I was the one that sent in your
name. The Colonel's depending on me.
176
00:07:18,388 --> 00:07:20,800
Well, what'll I do? She's the Colonel's
daughter and, heck, I don't know
177
00:07:20,824 --> 00:07:22,535
what to... Why don't you
just take her to the dance?
178
00:07:22,559 --> 00:07:24,988
Just be careful what
you say and how you act.
179
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,711
Oh, I'll be careful, all right.
180
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,114
But what'll we talk
about? What'll I say to her?
181
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,166
You can talk about anything.
Just be careful what you say.
182
00:07:32,235 --> 00:07:35,181
I just can't get over the idea of
her being the Colonel's daughter.
183
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,272
She's gonna be
disappointed in me.
184
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:38,606
Pyle.
185
00:07:38,674 --> 00:07:40,794
We come from two different
worlds is what, Sergeant.
186
00:07:40,843 --> 00:07:42,588
What are you talking about?
187
00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:44,478
Well, I'm just
plain country folks,
188
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,709
and shoot, she comes
from one of them homes
189
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,678
that's got fruit and
flowers all over the place
190
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,535
and there ain't
even nobody sick.
191
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,853
Look, Pyle, you don't
have to marry the girl.
192
00:07:52,923 --> 00:07:55,151
I know, Sergeant. But
why'd they have to pick me?
193
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,287
Of all the guys on the base,
why'd they have to pick me?
194
00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:00,023
Pyle, listen, listen, listen. Now,
you were picked for this assignment.
195
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,625
Why, I don't know, but you're
gonna take the Colonel's daughter.
196
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,582
Now, when you do,
just don't say much.
197
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,885
Don't do anything, don't act
silly, don't talk, don't even breathe.
198
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,704
Just have a good time.
199
00:08:10,773 --> 00:08:13,775
I just wish this whole
thing was over with already.
200
00:08:13,843 --> 00:08:16,221
Look at my hands. Look
at 'em. look at 'em sweat.
201
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:20,748
And feel my heart. It's going
"Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump."
202
00:08:20,817 --> 00:08:22,628
Can't you lift this up
closer to your neck?
203
00:08:22,652 --> 00:08:24,585
Why, that looks fine to me.
204
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,789
Janie, good to have you home.
205
00:08:27,857 --> 00:08:30,692
I haven't had a chance to ask
you how school is this semester.
206
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,305
Oh, it's all right, I guess.
207
00:08:32,329 --> 00:08:33,828
What's the matter?
Anything wrong?
208
00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:38,433
Oh, it's just that it's so
dull. It's nice, but dull.
209
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:41,180
Mother, can't I transfer to a
coed school next semester?
210
00:08:41,204 --> 00:08:43,003
I'd be so much happier.
211
00:08:43,072 --> 00:08:45,184
I'd prefer you stay where you
are. It's a perfectly fine school.
212
00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:48,710
Well, if it's dull and she wants
to transfer, I don't see any harm.
213
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,989
Clara Burton College
was good enough for me
214
00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:54,014
and I know that Jane will get a
fine education there. Perfectly fine.
215
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:56,595
And after all, that's the most
important thing, isn't it, dear?
216
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,653
I suppose so. Let
me look at you.
217
00:08:59,989 --> 00:09:01,589
What on earth is that?
218
00:09:01,658 --> 00:09:03,336
That's probably
your escort, dear.
219
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,705
I authorized a jeep
for your use tonight.
220
00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:07,362
They're all so reckless.
221
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:08,874
Now, about this young man, dear,
222
00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:10,609
I don't want you to
worry about a single thing.
223
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,273
We'll be right by
your side all evening.
224
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,141
Yes, mother.
225
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,027
Good evening.
226
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:20,425
Sir, Private Gomer Pyle
reporting as ordered, sir.
227
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:23,194
I, uh, wish you
wouldn't put it that way.
228
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,023
Hope you didn't mind
the brake squeal, sir,
229
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,675
but I wasn't sure
what house you lived in
230
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,233
and I didn't want to pass it by,
231
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,301
so I had to mash
down on the brakes.
232
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,770
Well, uh, come on in, Pyle.
233
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:34,939
Thank you, sir. Yes, sir.
234
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,709
Now, this is Mrs. Harper.
235
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:40,111
How do, ma'am?
236
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,812
And this is my daughter, Jane.
237
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:44,081
Hey, Miss Jane.
238
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,683
I brought you some flowers.
239
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,153
Thank you. It was
very thoughtful.
240
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,522
I'll get a vase.
241
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:57,362
Well, uh, we've got a
few minutes before we go.
242
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,729
Shall we sit down?
243
00:09:58,798 --> 00:09:59,930
Please.
244
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,310
Make yourself at home, Pyle.
245
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,574
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
246
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:16,381
Well, we were, uh... we were very
happy that you were able to make it.
247
00:10:16,433 --> 00:10:18,265
Yes, sir, me, too.
248
00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:20,067
Real happy.
249
00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:22,804
Private Pyle, I understand
that you come from the South.
250
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,082
Where in the South?
251
00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:25,506
Yes, ma'am, I sure do.
252
00:10:25,575 --> 00:10:27,775
I come from Mayberry,
North Carolina.
253
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:30,645
My family settled there
about 150 years ago.
254
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,948
That is, my ancestors did,
not the family that I got now.
255
00:10:34,016 --> 00:10:35,316
Of course.
256
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,051
Of course.
257
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,004
They built their own log
cabin all by theirselves.
258
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,322
Real pioneers.
259
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,625
Of course, we Pyles have
come a long way since then.
260
00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:45,860
We've added a back
porch and a bath.
261
00:10:46,429 --> 00:10:47,506
I see.
262
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:48,996
I mean a regular bath,
263
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,210
one that you don't have to
fill up with a pump, neither.
264
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,901
Oh, well, that's what
I call real progress.
265
00:10:54,604 --> 00:10:55,970
Remarkable.
266
00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:57,739
When the water
company run their lines,
267
00:10:57,807 --> 00:10:59,941
they went to the
north part of town first.
268
00:11:00,009 --> 00:11:01,520
Oh, well, wouldn't you know.
269
00:11:01,544 --> 00:11:04,445
See, the center of
town is right here,
270
00:11:04,514 --> 00:11:05,847
and, uh...
271
00:11:07,651 --> 00:11:09,117
This is north.
272
00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:11,285
And they had to run them lines
273
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,721
right down here
through Maple Street.
274
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:15,322
That's right here.
275
00:11:15,391 --> 00:11:19,560
And then over the ridge,
past Fred Bartlett's place.
276
00:11:19,629 --> 00:11:21,362
Now, that's about here.
277
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,759
And then they had to run 'em
all the way out into the swamps.
278
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:27,268
That's where you're
sittin', Mrs. Harper.
279
00:11:27,336 --> 00:11:30,021
You know something else that
might interest you, Mrs. Harper?
280
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,322
What?
281
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,591
We was the first family
on the south side of town
282
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:35,293
that had a septic tank.
283
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,362
A septic tank?
284
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,662
Yes'm.
285
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:41,132
You see, it was always my
mama's dream to have one.
286
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:45,036
And me and my daddy saved
up for six years. Six years.
287
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:48,288
And we surprised her with
the news on her birthday.
288
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:51,704
You ought to have seen her face when
we took her out there in the backyard.
289
00:11:51,728 --> 00:11:54,579
Well, I'll bet she
was thrilled, all right.
290
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:59,762
Say, Miss Jane, you really
got a nice way of arranging 'em.
291
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,686
Thank you. Must be a knack.
292
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:05,056
Looks like it was done by
one of them funeral florists.
293
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,558
Shall we go?
294
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:09,461
Uh, yes, yes, I hadn't
realized it was quite so late.
295
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,163
I'm sure lookin'
forward to this dance.
296
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,465
Thank you.
297
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,611
Well, you two run along.
We'll be right behind you.
298
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:17,302
Are you ready to go, Miss Jane?
299
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:20,905
We'll see you there, sir. It
was nice talkin' with you, ma'am.
300
00:12:26,229 --> 00:12:27,372
Well...
301
00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:29,797
Well, next time
you'll listen to me.
302
00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:32,266
Well, what's wrong?
He's a nice boy.
303
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,302
I know these nice
boys. That's an act.
304
00:12:35,371 --> 00:12:37,105
Oh, come on, now.
305
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,752
I'm more determined than ever to keep
my eye on them every single second.
306
00:12:39,776 --> 00:12:42,543
All right, all right,
have it your own way,
307
00:12:42,612 --> 00:12:46,013
but any boy who saves up for
six years to buy a septic tank
308
00:12:46,082 --> 00:12:49,050
for his mother's
birthday can't be all bad.
309
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,166
Good evening.
310
00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:06,445
Good evening, Captain.
Evening, Captain.
311
00:13:06,469 --> 00:13:07,801
Good evening, sir.
312
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,548
Captain, this is Private Pyle.
313
00:13:09,572 --> 00:13:11,705
How are you, Pyle?
Good evenin', sir.
314
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:14,074
Well, you've decorated
the place beautifully.
315
00:13:14,143 --> 00:13:16,394
Yes, sir, you can't hardly
beat them Japanese people
316
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,179
when it comes to lanterns.
317
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,168
Colonel Harper, your
honor. Thank you.
318
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,770
Shall we, dear?
319
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,267
Would you like to
dance, Miss Jane?
320
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,996
Have you been
watching our country boy?
321
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,481
Yes. He seems to
be quite a dancer.
322
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,487
Dance me over in that direction.
323
00:14:33,556 --> 00:14:35,523
Oh, Edna, let's
leave them alone.
324
00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:37,091
Emmett, please.
325
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,163
Hey, folks. It's a nice dance.
326
00:14:42,231 --> 00:14:44,031
Jane, I think it would be nice
327
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,167
if you danced with your father.
328
00:14:46,235 --> 00:14:47,601
All right, Mother.
329
00:14:47,670 --> 00:14:49,514
And I don't suppose Private
Pyle has any objections
330
00:14:49,538 --> 00:14:50,538
to dancing with me?
331
00:14:50,606 --> 00:14:52,206
No, ma'am, I'd be glad to.
332
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,843
Please, Private Pyle!
333
00:14:55,911 --> 00:14:57,871
That's the way we
dance back home.
334
00:14:57,913 --> 00:15:00,759
Yes, I'd prefer that you dance a little
slower. I want to have a word with you.
335
00:15:00,783 --> 00:15:02,450
Yes, ma'am.
336
00:15:02,518 --> 00:15:04,529
I, uh, just thought I'd better
mention that my daughter is not used
337
00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:05,987
to too much excitement.
338
00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:09,056
I'm sorry. What happens
when she dances too hard?
339
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,824
Does she have a spell?
340
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,059
Of course not.
341
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,905
It's just that I think you
should dance slower
342
00:15:13,929 --> 00:15:15,596
and at a proper distance.
343
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,064
Yes, ma'am.
344
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,178
I guess I'm just used
to the girls back home.
345
00:15:19,202 --> 00:15:22,403
You don't grip them hard
enough, and they'll fall right down.
346
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,806
My pleasure, ma'am.
347
00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:28,775
You know, you dance
real good for a short lady.
348
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,177
Thank you.
349
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,004
Hey, Miss Jane. Hello.
350
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,840
Would you like to dance?
351
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,008
Uh...
352
00:15:47,129 --> 00:15:49,630
I don't suppose we'd better.
353
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,449
Well, I'll dance slow
and hold you loose.
354
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,884
No, thanks.
355
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,207
Would you like some punch?
356
00:16:00,276 --> 00:16:02,059
No. Thank you.
357
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,476
You go to school, don't you?
358
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,211
Yes, I do. I'm at college.
359
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:10,685
What you takin' up there?
360
00:16:10,754 --> 00:16:12,737
Music. I'm a music major.
361
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,955
Back home, you ask
somebody goin' to school,
362
00:16:15,024 --> 00:16:18,058
"What you takin' up,
the teacher's time?"
363
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,860
That's a joke back home.
364
00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:22,046
I see.
365
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,432
Did I ask you if you
wanted some punch?
366
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,866
You did.
367
00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:29,403
What did you say? I
said, "No, thank you."
368
00:16:29,472 --> 00:16:31,672
But I believe I will
have some now.
369
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,941
Okay. I'll be back in a jiffy.
370
00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:38,645
Two punches, please.
371
00:16:39,782 --> 00:16:42,483
Pyle... Hey, Sergeant.
372
00:16:42,552 --> 00:16:44,792
Are you behaving yourself?
You behaving yourself, Pyle?
373
00:16:44,853 --> 00:16:47,132
Yes, sir. She's
nice. She's real nice.
374
00:16:47,156 --> 00:16:48,855
What do you mean, "Nice"?
375
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,225
Remember, she's
the Colonel's daughter.
376
00:16:51,294 --> 00:16:52,971
Now, you behave
yourself. Yes, sir,
377
00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:54,795
but she is a little
on the quiet side.
378
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:56,741
There ain't too
much to talk about.
379
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:58,232
What did you talk about?
380
00:16:58,301 --> 00:17:00,000
Well, comin' on over here,
381
00:17:00,069 --> 00:17:03,315
I told her about the M14 rifle
and how you disassemble it.
382
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:04,972
Good, good.
383
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,052
What else could we talk about?
384
00:17:07,076 --> 00:17:09,343
Well, uh...
385
00:17:09,412 --> 00:17:12,779
Do you think she'd be
interested in chemical warfare?
386
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,674
Here's your punch,
Miss Jane. Thank you.
387
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:25,754
Careful of the little
lemon seeds in there.
388
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,218
You swallow one of them,
you'd get appendicitis.
389
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:30,631
Did you know that? No.
390
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,380
Emmett, look. What?
391
00:17:34,203 --> 00:17:35,781
He just brought her some punch.
392
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,138
Well, what of it?
393
00:17:37,207 --> 00:17:38,940
I wonder what's in it.
394
00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:41,687
What? Grape juice and some
lemons floating in it. I just had some.
395
00:17:41,711 --> 00:17:44,423
I know, I know, and you
know about spiking a drink.
396
00:17:44,447 --> 00:17:45,913
Oh, take it easy.
397
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,027
Mrs. Harper, may
I have this dance?
398
00:17:48,051 --> 00:17:49,683
Oh, uh, all right.
399
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:51,663
Emmett, will you
keep an eye on things?
400
00:17:51,687 --> 00:17:52,887
Mmm-hmm.
401
00:18:12,141 --> 00:18:14,461
Oh, uh, Captain, uh, excuse me.
402
00:18:15,544 --> 00:18:17,211
Emmett, they're gone.
403
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,645
What? Who's gone?
404
00:18:18,714 --> 00:18:20,915
Jane and that... that
country boy. They're not here.
405
00:18:20,984 --> 00:18:22,427
Oh, excuse me. Thank you.
406
00:18:22,451 --> 00:18:24,296
They've probably just
gone for a walk, dear.
407
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,953
I want them found.
408
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,733
Edna, take it easy. I insist.
409
00:18:27,757 --> 00:18:29,869
They've just gone
for fresh air, I'm sure.
410
00:18:29,893 --> 00:18:31,837
Emmett, are you going
to do something about this,
411
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:34,028
or shall I go and
look for them myself?
412
00:18:34,097 --> 00:18:35,329
All right, dear.
413
00:18:35,398 --> 00:18:37,798
Captain Murdock?
414
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,401
My daughter and her escort
seem to have disappeared.
415
00:18:40,469 --> 00:18:41,947
Would you see if
you can locate them?
416
00:18:41,971 --> 00:18:44,250
I want this whole place
thoroughly searched. I'm worried.
417
00:18:44,274 --> 00:18:45,907
Yes, ma'am. Right away.
418
00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:53,080
♪ She's gone away for to stay
419
00:18:53,149 --> 00:18:56,017
♪ A little while
420
00:18:57,186 --> 00:19:00,821
♪ But she's coming back
421
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:06,527
♪ If she goes 10,000 miles
422
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:13,767
♪ Oh, who will tie my shoe?
423
00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:20,274
♪ And who will glove my hand?
424
00:19:20,343 --> 00:19:26,113
♪ And who will kiss my ruby lips
425
00:19:26,182 --> 00:19:30,217
♪ When she is gone?
426
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:34,605
♪ Gone away
427
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:43,375
♪ Far away ♪ Over yonder
428
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:52,406
♪ She's gone away ♪ For to stay
429
00:19:52,474 --> 00:19:59,713
♪ A little while ♪
But she's coming back
430
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:06,720
♪ If she goes 10,000 miles
431
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:12,526
♪ Oh, it's Pappy
who'll tie my shoes
432
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:20,918
♪ And Mammy who'll glove my hand
433
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:27,724
♪ And you will kiss my ruby lips
434
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:32,263
♪ When she is gone
435
00:20:33,049 --> 00:20:36,617
♪ Gone away
436
00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:45,286
♪ Far away ♪ Over yonder ♪
437
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:51,648
Wonderful. Wonderful.
Oh, Gomer, you're good.
438
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,483
Why did you keep
it such a secret?
439
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:56,286
Well, I... If I had
known sooner,
440
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:58,249
we could have left that
dull dance even earlier.
441
00:20:58,273 --> 00:21:00,441
I'm sorry the dance was so dull.
442
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,743
I guess all that talk
about the M14 rifle
443
00:21:02,812 --> 00:21:04,995
wasn't very interesting.
444
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,715
Not that I'm talking
down the M14 rifle.
445
00:21:07,783 --> 00:21:09,216
It was just that I didn't...
446
00:21:09,284 --> 00:21:11,585
It's just that this
is so much nicer.
447
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,118
Must be some sort of trouble.
448
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:19,910
Appears like they're
lookin' for somebody.
449
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,179
Go ahead, Gomer, sing another.
450
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:25,082
Well, would you like to hear
451
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:28,502
Rain Come With Me
'Cause I'm Dirty, Dirty, Dirty?
452
00:21:28,570 --> 00:21:31,805
Gomer, that's marvelous.
This is so much fun.
453
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,352
I'm sure glad you're
enjoying it, Miss Jane.
454
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:37,494
I am. Thank you, Gomer.
455
00:21:38,647 --> 00:21:40,414
Thank you very much.
456
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,950
There, you saw that.
457
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,240
You saw that, didn't you?
458
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:53,043
Did you see that? Oh,
Jane, I've been so worried.
459
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:54,757
You can call off
the search, Captain.
460
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:57,080
Yes, sir. Jane, darling,
are you all right?
461
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,882
Oh, Mother! Take it easy, Edna.
462
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,397
I just had a feeling it would
end like this. I just knew it.
463
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,932
Mother, if you'll just calm down
for a minute. You don't understand.
464
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:07,024
Jane, we'll take care
of... Jane. But, Mother...
465
00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:09,760
Now, young man, suppose
you explain what made you think
466
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,946
you could take liberties
with our daughter?
467
00:22:12,014 --> 00:22:14,576
Well, it looked to me as if it was
Jane who was doing the kissing.
468
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,333
I think I know my daughter.
469
00:22:16,402 --> 00:22:17,801
Well?
470
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,015
I sure am sorry, Mrs. Harper.
471
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:21,805
It's a little late
for that, Private,
472
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:23,407
and it's not good enough.
473
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:24,675
Emmett,
474
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:26,988
I insist that he be
punished. Oh, Edna.
475
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,475
Daddy, don't. Don't you
dare do a thing to him.
476
00:22:29,499 --> 00:22:31,532
I am the one who
did the kissing.
477
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,011
Now, Miss Jane... Jane!
478
00:22:33,035 --> 00:22:35,035
Yes, it's true, and
I'm not ashamed of it.
479
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:37,171
I kissed him because I
wanted to. That's why.
480
00:22:37,239 --> 00:22:38,338
Jane, stop this.
481
00:22:38,424 --> 00:22:40,134
Yes, Mother, and I liked it.
482
00:22:40,158 --> 00:22:42,993
So much that I think
I'll kiss him again.
483
00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:44,395
And then again.
484
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:45,763
And again.
485
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:46,997
And again.
486
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:48,399
And again.
487
00:22:50,853 --> 00:22:52,219
Excuse me, ma'am.
488
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,421
Sir, while all this is goin' on,
489
00:22:54,490 --> 00:22:57,091
do I have your permission
to stand at ease?
490
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:03,480
Thanks, Dad.
491
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:04,660
For what?
492
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,828
You know, for sort
of staying on my side,
493
00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:09,864
and helping me do what I've
been wanting to do for a long time.
494
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,473
Well, uh... And, uh, Daddy,
495
00:23:12,542 --> 00:23:14,508
while we're sort
of on the subject.
496
00:23:14,576 --> 00:23:16,777
I do want to go to a
coed school next year.
497
00:23:16,846 --> 00:23:18,145
Will you back me up?
498
00:23:18,213 --> 00:23:19,858
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
499
00:23:19,882 --> 00:23:22,299
Your mother's had
a big shock tonight.
500
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:24,351
Thank you, Private.
501
00:23:24,420 --> 00:23:26,320
Shoot, I didn't do nothin', sir.
502
00:23:26,389 --> 00:23:29,022
I'm not so sure.
503
00:23:29,091 --> 00:23:32,092
Good night, Janie.
Good night, Daddy.
504
00:23:34,963 --> 00:23:39,567
Well, good night, Miss Jane.
505
00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:42,503
I sure hope I see
you again sometimes.
506
00:23:42,572 --> 00:23:44,605
I had a real nice time.
507
00:23:45,408 --> 00:23:47,741
And you know something?
508
00:23:47,810 --> 00:23:51,345
You're real nice, and
you're real pretty, too.
509
00:23:51,414 --> 00:23:53,046
Thank you, Gomer.
510
00:23:55,150 --> 00:23:56,517
Well, go ahead, son.
511
00:23:56,586 --> 00:23:59,253
It's all right, her
mother's gone to bed.
38058
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