All language subtitles for vlogworthy-2017-webrip-x264-ion10

I feel like,
can't go on no more.

Love is slow when
you need it the most.

♪ What is love ♪

♪ You don't know
love for yourself ♪

♪ I built these walls ♪

♪ To try and keep you out ♪

♪ But now, I'm
stripping to the core ♪

♪ Throw my clothes
on the floor ♪

♪ Oh, my body's full of wounds ♪

♪ That I'm showing to you ♪

♪ All I have left
are these scars ♪

♪ I feel so exposed right now ♪

♪ All these chills
are bulging now ♪

♪ I feel so exposed right now ♪

I hope you like classical.

I work better with music.

- Please.

Please.

I can't.

I can't do this.

Natalie, Natalie.

I'm doing this for you.

It'll be like
swallowing a vitamin.

- I'll do anything else.

I've done everything
you've asked.

Please. Please!

I can't do this.

I'll do anything else.

- But my viewers want this.

Just a few thousand
shy of a 100k.

That's a lot of
viewers for a vlog.

You should be so proud.

So beautiful.

So loved.

- No.

No.

No.
- It's okay.

It's okay.
- No!

No!

No!

- Oh, it's okay.

It's okay.

Swallow.

Just swallow.

Just swallow.

Oh!

Just--
- No, no.

- There you go.

Natalie, I'm doing this for you.

Look how much I've done for you.

Your numbers are the best yet.

I told you we have to escalate
to keep it vlog worthy.

- Hey, guys, it's your
girl Des coming back at you

with another vlog,
so get excited.

Say good morning, Goblin.

Goblin?

Okay, I guess he's mad at me.

Oh, what do you guys
think of my new sheets?

I wanna thank all you guys that
helped me pick out a color.

I seriously could not
have done it without you.

What else?

Oh, so last time I posted,

I told you that I was
working on something new

for my costume jewelry line.

And I'm about to
show you what it is.

So cute, right?

And you can pick
whatever charm you like.

I picked a pineapple
because it reminds me

of my first acting role ever
in, like, the third grade.

So, yeah, I picked
that little guy.

Okay, so, what I want
you guys to do right now

is click the link below
my video, go to my site,

pick out your
favorite piece for you

or your special
someone and charm them.

I'm sorry, that was so corny.

- Des, I got the coffee.
- Um, what else?

Anything else, Goblin?

Anything you'd like
to say to your fans?

- Oh!
- No?

No wonder why
you didn't answer--

- Okay, then.
- 'Cause you're on the phone.

Gimme that.
- Oh, God, no.

No, uh-uh.

Uh-uh, no, no, no.
- Oh, my God, are you serious?

Mm-hm.

- David, give me my phone.

No.

Please?

- No.

I have something that's
gonna help your views, okay?

- What?
- This.

Des!
- Okay.

Thank you!

Hi, I'm back.

So you gonna help me
vlog today or what?

I'm just gonna use this thing
for, like, five more minutes

and then we can go.

- Do you ever stop?!

Vlog exclusive.

Big time jewelry designer
working on her latest orders.

And remember, when
designing jewelry,

always make sure to have
a back scratcher on hand.

- Babe!
- It's required.

Oh, no, she's gonna get
me with her jewelry tool!

- Dave! Stop!

Sexy.

I like it!

Look at my little
man modeling my jewelry.

My little mush face.

It's my agent.

- Well, shit. Answer it!

- So, what did they say?

I thought I really kicked
that callback's ass.

You're too funny.

You know what, I
guess they did too.

- What? Really?

Come on!

Don't be so surprised.

You know you were
perfect for the part.

But hey, everyone is
super, super excited

to have you on board.

They just want you
to do some chem reads

with a couple of the guys.

So you're free this week, right?

- Um, yeah, yeah, of course.

Super, super free.

Thank you.

Great.

I'll send you the details.

But seriously though, great,
great job on this one, Diana.

This is the first of
many bookings to come.

I can promise you that.

Wait.

Who's Diana?

Shit.

Um, hold on, you know what...

Marty, who did you call?

Okay, um, listen.

This is my fault, so
don't even worry about it.

- So...

Des, right?

Jim is still sending
you out, then?

- Yeah.

He is.

Okay.

Listen, sorry about that again.

- It's okay, all right?

I'll write you in
one of my scripts.

Your scripts
are all weird

sci-fi monster things
killing each other.

- Monsters can fall in love too.

We can call it a mon-com.

Monster romantic comedy
is what I was going for.

Hey.

I'm sorry about the
stupid audition.

I still think you're funny.

- Just don't.

Oh, God.

Hey, guys.

So I didn't get the audition,

but it's okay because
tomorrow is a new day.

Hey, guys.

It's me again being all basic
with my pumpkin spiced latte.

It's not a pina colada,
but cheers, I guess.

- Pumpkin spiced, nice choice.

Have you ever had
it with almond milk?

Kinda like a bliss bomb
exploded in your mouth.

Are you okay, can
I get you anything?

I don't actually work here.

I'm sorry, that was weird.

Uh, I was just helping
out Greg, the owner.

But you look like you're
busy on your phone so I'll--

- Yup. Vlogging.

Just like every
other 20-something.

I love vlogs.

Mind if I join you?

- Uh.

Hey, guys, I'm here with Mel,
promoter of House Coffee,

and she's gonna tell us a
little bit about herself.

- I'm a little camera
shy these days.

Behind the scenes
is more my thing.

- Oh, it's totally
fine, it's super fun.

And if you mess up,
I'll just edit it out.

I'll just edit around it.

- Okay.

Well, I don't work
here specifically.

I freelance.

I have a background
in digital marketing

and social media PR.

But I dabble in helping coffee
shops like this, you know,

gain promotion and,
um, and by the way,

they have the best
house-made lavender syrup,

so stop what you're doing
and come right down.

And please follow House
Coffee on Instagram.

- Yeah, guys. Follow them.

Oh, sorry, go ahead.

- My passion, I
guess you could say,

or what I wanted to
do with my degree

was to be that go-to person

that gets brands
to explode online

and help people become
more vlog worthy,

I guess you could say.

- Really?

- You're really comfortable
in front of a camera.

It's brave of you to let people

into your life like
that, you know?

It takes a certain type.

- I enjoy it.

I really do.

- I could help you, you know?

If that's what you wanted,
but you don't really need it.

- Um, yeah, I think I'm okay.

I'm up to 10,000 followers.

And I love 'em all.

- Impressive.

Well, if you're thinking
of getting serious

and growing your
brand, don't be shy.

You'd be surprised how much work

the top vloggers put in to
generating their followings.

And here's my card.

Take a look at my
website if you want.

If not, it's okay.

I hope we talk soon.

- Thank you, you're so nice.

Oh, my God, guys.

It's a nice house.

- Oh, thank you.

My grandma left
it to my parents.

They'll never leave
Wisconsin, so here I am.

- That's a whole lot of cameras.

Gives options.

I hate watching stiff vloggers.

- Thank you so much
for doing this.

My pleasure.

So much easier to get
some fame nowadays,

why not go out and grab it?

- I can think of a few reasons.

I'm starting
to get the sense

that you're not into this.

- I'm a big fan of
the girl in question,

but this, no, not this.

- Well, she's a big
fan of you, babe.

I appreciate you doing this.

It'll be painless.

I promise.

Audiences love couple stuff,

even that goofy one you
posted the other day...

How about some wine?

- Um, so I don't
really drink anymore.

It's kind of a long story.
- House is dry.

No worries.

And no wine is fine.

- Mel, you sure
you never took any

of the Stage 32
writers' workshops?

I swear, I really
don't think we've met.

I'd remember.

- I guess, but you
just look so familiar.

All righty,
you guys, ready?

- This is nice.

Just us.

I mean, the cameras.

- I just want my fans to see me,

or, well, us, and
how happy I am.

There's more to life
than just necklaces,

bracelets, and earrings.

- That is true.

This is real corny.

- Dave, please.

- Sorry.

It's okay.

Just go from there and I'll
piece it together after.

- I don't really
wanna ask these.

- Please?

Please, please, please, please?

- How many people
have you slept with?

- Um.

Like, nine, I guess.

I don't know, it's all an
insignificant blur before you.

Wait, what about you?

- Oh, it's all just
an insignificant blur,

but it's a lot less than nine!

I know that!

Des, this is making me
look like a complete creep.

- Mel, he doesn't wanna do it.

So lame.

- Another fun way to
wear a colored stone

is layering delicate necklaces
with coordinated stones.

You can do it every time
you're wearing a neutral top

for that extra pop of color.

I do it every time I
wear black or white--

Okay, Des.

- Because we all need a
little color in our lives.

Ready to go?

- I'm doing it right now.

See?

Perfect for my dinner
date at Catch tonight.

- I believe it's
pronounced Cache.

Babe?

- Yes?

- We have a reservation
in eight minutes.

It's gonna take us
15 to get there.

Can we please go?

- Just, I'm almost done, okay?

Two minutes. I promise.

- I don't want to lose
another reservation.

That was one time!

- And what are you
telling these people

where we're going for?

That freaks me out.

I thought you were
gonna toss this.

- Mel really knows her stuff

and she can really help me
grow my brand, so, yeah.

Grow your brand.

- What?!

- This isn't just another fun
way to promote your jewelry?

I'll call Catch, tell them
we're going to be late.

Hurry.

- Another fun new way
to wear a colored stone

is by wearing them
on your fingers.

See?

- Promise we're done after this?

- Mel, he doesn't want to do it.

How much longer?

Yeah, you guys
are almost done, okay?

People are loving
you, by the way.

You're up to 20,000.

- Yeah, well, we did
get some weird comments.

Some people wrote in that they
wanted to see Des kiss a girl

or scissor a girl.

That's not funny, that's weird.

- Babe.

People are weird.

Don't worry about
random comments.

- What about "I would tap
that ass to be number 10?"

Or wait for it,

box of sand that was
delivered to her house

because she loves the beach.

It's weird people
knows where she lives.

It's definitely not safe.

I think Dave
is a little jealous.

- Dave, come on.
- Get outta here.

That's ridiculous.
- Come on.

These comments are
coming from people

that are hiding behind
their computer screens.

Stay positive, stay fun.

Dave.

For me?

- Okay.

Fine.

Let's just get back to
shooting a jewelry vlog

because that's what we
were doing, a jewelry vlog.

- What if, after this, Dave
goes on a little vlog-cation?

Me and Des will
get enough footage

to last for a little while.

You come back, nail
the couple vlog,

and take a little break.

I mean, it's an idea, but
it's not up to me, so...

- That could work.

Not too long though.

No, just give
Dave the break he wants.

You can take some
time to work on that mon-com.

- I guess, if that
means we can spend time

without that damn
phone in our face.

How long you think it will take?

Three to four days.

Tops.

- Yoga time it is, then.

Let's do this.

I love you,
you're the best.

Oh, don't
tell me you're shy.

Let's see how camera
shy you really are.

Ready?

See?

Told you, you'd love it.

- Hi, guys!

Check out my office today.

I know that I'm always working,

but one of the perks
about being in LA

is that when I'm not
working on my jewelry,

I'm only a few hundred
feet away from this.

I wish I can send some
rays to the east coast

to help melt that nasty
Nor'easter they're having.

Also, turquoise colored stones

are a great compliment
to any bathing suit.

Just make sure to not stay
out in the sun too long

or they will start to turn.

That was great, Des.

Girls are gonna wish
they were by the pool,

and guys are gonna love it.

You look so hot.

- I don't know
about this one, Mel.

I think Dave's gonna be pissed.

Oh, come on.

It's making people like you,

and then they'll like
your jewelry even more.

People like to feel included.

Look, if it feels weird,

just say so, we can stop and
no one ever has to see it.

Pick up from where we left off?

- Deal.

Hi, guys!

So I just showed you
some new design ideas

for a sexy new pair of earrings.

And I need your
help, by the way.

Let me know which
one you liked better.

But I also need your help

with picking out a new
bra to entice Dave with.

There are two contenders.

This one

or

this one.

He's special to me,

so I wanna wear something
special for him.

How was that?

It was great.

- So which one do
you like better, huh?

Like this one?

This one, this, this, this one?

Uh, uh, uh!

Or you like this bra?

Like this bra?

Or you like this bra?

This bra or this bra?

This bra? Uh!

That's perfect, Des.

Get those likes.

So sexy.

I knew you would do
whatever it takes.

Glad I wasn't wrong about you.

You're gonna be a star.

- Dezzy!
- Hi!

Oh my, God.

I missed your beautiful face.

- Oh, I missed you too.

- Are you back in town, or what?

- No, I'm still gonna be
on tour for a couple weeks,

but I had some time,
so I was, like,

I wanna know how
my favorite actress

slash jewelry designer is.

- Did you see I'm up
to 11,000 subscribers?

Crazy?

- It is. I did.

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

I really am so proud.

But about the vlog, I
just wanna know, like,

is that what you want?

I mean, you gotta be so careful

that you don't put
yourself in a position

that you can't get out of.

I mean, I've been
there, trust me, I know.

And you're a lot
better than numbers.

So, I don't mean to
be too much or pushy,

but just be careful.

- I get it, I do, but I'm fine.

- Hold on, hold on.

Sorry, I gotta take this call.

I'm so sorry.

- Okay.

Bye!

- Bye, love!

- Guess who?

I couldn't sleep last
night 'cause I was up

thinking about all the cool
new bracelets and necklaces

I'm gonna design
for you guys, like--

Oh, she's here.

BRB.

Ready to vlog?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You're the star, not me.

- I just finished a
little jewelry spiel.

Oh, yeah, oh, I
was telling my friends

to check out your stuff.
- Oh, my God, thank you!

Thank you so much!

Okay, I'm gonna go call, Dave.

Okay.

I'll set up.

Tell him I said hi.
- Will do!

Hey, babe.

How's it going with the script?

Oh, yeah?

- Shh.

Ready whenever you are.

- I feel like this
is a little much.

I thought you
were up for anything.

We're doing this.

- I know, but the other stuff
was a little more playful

and still dealt with my jewelry.

- But people will eat it up.

- Yeah, I'm not piercing myself.

Sorry.

- It's just a belly button.

Do it for a new belly
button stone or something.

- Mel, I'm really sorry,

but this one's a
little bit too much.

Plus, nobody does this anymore.

It's so '90s.

Can we just skip it?

No.

I mean, people
loved your other stuff,

like the making tiny
jewelry for your hamster.

That was super cute.

- You have to escalate
to be vlog worthy.

Um, not like this.

I'm out.
- Sit down.

- What?
- Sit down.

Please.
- Mel.

What's wrong?

- We're gonna pierce your
belly button, that's what.

I already
said I didn't want to.

- I'm just messing with you.

Relax.

I'm totally messing.

Are you freaking insane?!

I'm not the one
who wanted thousands

to see my personal life!

Help!

Don't scream.

Now we get serious.

- No, no, no!

Stop screaming, Des.

It's not becoming.

Your fans won't like it.

'Cause if you
really wanna scream,

I can give you a reason, okay?

- Please don't kill me.

Please, I'll do
anything you want,

just don't hurt me or Goblin.

- That's the spirit.

- Why are you doing this, Mel?

Please.

Why?

What do you want? I'll do it.

Just please let me go.
- I just want you

to be vlog worthy.

And it's fun for you.

You get to act again.

I found these lying around.

Hm.

Resume on the back is
pretty scarce though.

Kinda embarrassing, huh?

That's why it's a
dry house, isn't it?

Mm.

I know, Des, failure's hard.

- Stop it!
- Redemption is fun though.

And you can act again for me.

Remember, stay
positive, stay fun.

- What are you talking about?

- We're gonna pierce
your belly button

and you're gonna act
like you like it.

- No, no, no.

With that?

No.

Oh, my God.

No, no, no, no.

You're insane!

Me?

It was your idea.

Oh.

Vloggers come and go
and no one gives a crap.

I'm here to build you
up and make you famous.

You asked me here.

It's what you wanted, isn't it?

It's always what you wanted.

You will do this
and you'll like it.

Here, and don't try
anything stupid.

What are you waiting for?

Focus, Des.

I'd give you something
to sterilize it with,

but there's no alcohol, so--
- I can't, I can't.

Just like we practiced.

Hold and pinch, okay?

- Yeah. Okay, okay.

- Okay.
- Okay.

And action!

- Hey, guys!

Des here.

You know I love jewelry.

I can't get enough--

Happier, Des!

Smile!

- Hey, guys!

Des here.

You know I love jewelry.

I can't get enough of it.

And today, I'm adding some
more, a belly button ring.

People think it's old
school, but I like it.

I'm gonna, I'm
gonna attempt to--

Cut.

Happier and no attempt.

Go from there.

- I'm gonna pierce
my belly button.

Who says an awl is just
good for jewelry-making?

Don't get
any ideas, honey,

or else that awl will be
through your skinny little neck.

Now, continue from there.

- Okay.

Here I go.

Wipe the tears.

No tears.

Say you're excited.

- Here I go.

I'm excited.

Do it now, or
I'll do it for you.

Good girl!

You did it!

And that's it!

That's just a taste of danger,
and they'll love you for it.

Oh, Des, come on.

Tell everyone how
much fun it was.

Say it.

- That was fun.

Clean yourself up.

Thanks for coming.

- Of course.

Good footage?

Great footage.

The pineapple
router is set.

I just gotta connect
these bad boys,

and then I'll have access
to all the footage to edit.

Hey, gimme her phone.

I'll connect you to the cloud.

You're a
freaking genius.

I just try
and do what I can.

- For me, right?

Yeah, for you.

A pineapple router?

What's that?

- It gives me wireless
access to your entire world.

You've been hacked, hot stuff.

- When you edit this,

needs to look like she's
having a good time.

Oh, yeah, I got it.

Good.

- Hey, guys. It's me, Des.
You know I love jewelry.

Can't get enough of it.

So, today, I'm going to add
some more, a belly button ring.

I know it's a little old
school, but I like it.

Here I go!

I'm excited!

You know what?

You're such a
great actress, Des.

I mean, I'm surprised
you had to give it up.

- That was fun.

- If I didn't know
you any better,

I'd think that you
really love this.

And look at all these comments.

These people are loving you.

I mean, all these likes
and comments and shares.

I mean, it's fantastic!

I think your fans
are ready for more.

The milk challenge,
have you heard of it?

Hey, I'm talking to you.

- The milk challenge,

yeah, you drink a
lot of milk quickly

and then you throw it up.

- I floated the
idea by your fans.

Let's see what they think.

The milk challenge is lame?

Sasha234, you think so too, huh?

Your fans don't know, Des.

I mean, we can't be lame, right?

We can't be lame.

We can't be lame,
can we, Des, huh?!

We can't be lame, can we?!

Mel, no.

I thought we were finished.

- You'll be fine.

I got this specifically for you.

- Mel, please.

Please.

- Everyone falls off
the wagon occasionally.

And this won't be lame.

Everybody loves a drunk girl.

- No more.

Please.

Okay.

- What are you doing? What is
that, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no.
- This is for your own good.

We have to make sure
that you cooperate.

- No, please.

Go on.

Like a pro.

- Hey, guys.

It's me.

Shot time.

It's three, two, one, let's go!

Smile.

Brilliant.

There you go.

Come on, come on, let it out!

- He's a selfish asshole.

All he cares about
is his stupid movies.

I'm more talented
than he'll ever be!

I fucking hate Dave!

I hate him.

How much more?

Please, Mel.

What else do you want from me?

I've done what you wanted.

So far.

And you've been
great, so thank you.

But you need to do something

about your Dave
problem, or I will.

- What do you mean?

Don't hurt him, Mel.

Swear to God, don't hurt him.

I'm gonna need you
to sleep for a little bit.

- Mel, please.

What did you give me?

Just something
to help calm you down.

- What did you give me, Mel?

I'll see you in a bit.

Shh.

You won't believe
how famous you'll be.

Sleep well.

We may have a bit of a problem.

What is it?

Hey, I
called you a bunch.

I saw your latest post.

Drinking, Des?

The drinking?

Did you really mean
the things you said?

What's going on?

I'm sorry I left.

Call me.

- So pathetic.

What do you see in that loser?

You can't let Dave get
in the way of your brand.

You want me to dump him.

- I want you to text him
that he needs to be okay

with whatever Des the
vlogger wants to do.

And I'll film you.

People will get
a kick out of it.

- Okay. I understand.

I understand.

Great!

And action.

Remember, positive vibes only.

- Hi, guys.

It's me, Des.

I just want to thank
all my new followers

and for InTheKnow.com for spreading the word on their site,

but there is been one person

who hasn't been as
supportive as you guys.

You guessed it.

Dave.

He's still away working
on his script for me,

but I wanted to
let you guys know

that I'm not gonna let you down,

and give you front row seats

to everything that happens
in our relationship.

- Des.

Keep going.

- Here's what I'll type.

Hey, Dave.

People are loving my new vlogs.

I'd appreciate more support.

I want to do even
more for my fans.

That's right.

I want to do even
more for you guys.

- He respond?

Tell everyone.

- So here's what
Dave wrote back.

What the hell, Des?

This isn't okay with me.

Why are you doing this?

For what?

I guess Dave doesn't get it.

- Text him that if he
doesn't support you,

you don't want to
talk to him anymore.

Do I have to persuade you again?

- Okay, okay, okay!

I'll do it. Fine.

I'll do it.

You never supported me, Dave.

You poke fun at
my acting skills,

you don't get my
passion for jewelry,

and now, you're
trying to keep me

from being a successful vlogger.

Just leave me alone, Dave.

I don't need you.

I don't want you.

Stay away forever.

Dave, I mean it.

Goodbye.

Show them
that you sent it.

- Here you go, guys.

Proof I have your back.

Was perfect.

- How much more, Mel?

Please.

- Your new video of you
telling Dave what's up

is getting great reviews.

And you know, a lot of
your fans are on your side.

It's fantastic.

And action.

- As you can see,
I'm almost done

with my new amethyst
gemstone necklace.

I hope you guys like it.

If you do, I'll make even
more so you guys can buy them.

And if you do, I'll make
it worth your while.

- That's great, Des.

Doesn't it feel good getting
back to your jewelry?

- Sure.

That's all this was
ever supposed to be.

- Right, that's it.

It wasn't supposed
to help jumpstart

your stagnant failure
of an acting career?

I mean, a jewelry vlog?

Really?

Did you just pick a talent
out of a hat one day and say,

oh, I hope this will get
someone to notice me.

You're a fame whore with a
plan, just like everyone else.

- I didn't want fame.

I wanted exposure
for my jewelry line.

- You showed your whole
life, your relationship.

You've gotten your exposure.

You're exposed.

- That's not what I--
- Stop lying to yourself, Des.

You wanted this.

The comments, the adoration,
the posting on a trending site.

You paraded around like
an altruistic person,

but, really, you're just a
narcissistic piece of shit

with all of the accolades
like everybody else.

You are no better
and no different.

- So that's what this is about.

You're punishing me
because people like me.

- And now, they like you
even more because of me,

because of you completely
debasing yourself.

You've been doing
the figurative, Des,

but people love the literal.

You're just a vacuous,
transparent hypocrite.

You deserve this.

What are you doing?!

What the...

Bitch!

Motherfucker!

What am I gonna do with you?

That was impressive.

That was fun!

Any other ideas floating around

in that pretty little
head of yours, huh?!

- I'm sorry.

Please, please, don't kill me.

That was stupid.

I won't do it again.

Please.

Just don't kill me.

- You gonna cooperate?

- I promise. I promise!

- Great.

I'm glad you're back on board.

We're gonna have
lots of fun together.

I like feisty Des.

And action.

- Hey, guys!

So I've accepted
another challenge.

I wrote on my vlog that I
would hold this super hot

curling iron for five seconds

if you guys bought
500 bracelets.

Looks like I've hit my mark.

Thanks, guys.

This is very exciting.

Okay.

Here we go.

Drop some water on it
so they can see how hot it is.

- See, I wasn't messing around.

Now, I'm gonna count
really slowly for you guys

so it's a full five seconds.

That wasn't
even a second!

- It's really freaking hot!

If you think
you can't do it.

- I'll do it, I'll
do it, I'll do it!

Okay, I just need
a second, please!

Just a second.

Okay, here I go!

One.

Two.

Three!

Four!

Mel!

I think we got it.

Ready?

And go.

- My hand hurts,
but it was worth it.

That was tough, but I'm
glad I earned your business

and learned I was
stronger than I thought.

I'm excited for
all my new orders.

Thanks, guys.

Now, that's acting.

Amazing.

You know, you've been
doing so well, Des.

You're really a natural at this.

Have I told you that?

'Cause you are.

Looks like your precious
boyfriend won't take the hint.

Des, talk to me.

What the hell's wrong with you?

Are you crazy?

And now, you're
burning yourself?

I'm coming over if
you don't respond.

- Doesn't get what
it takes, does he?

- He's gonna come for me, Mel.

What are you gonna do then?

Please, I'm sorry.

I've gotten the viewers.

- Yeah, and now, your vlog
is on all the trending sites.

Look, this is what you wanted.

You knew that there
were consequences.

- He's gonna come here.

- That'll be a shame, won't it?

I have an idea.

Why don't we make
sure he doesn't come?

Dave, leave me the fuck alone.

This vlog is more important
to me than you are.

Stay away or I'll get a fucking
restraining order on you.

You're no longer my priority.

Bye forever.

You think that'll keep him away?

Trust me, one day, you'll
thank me for all of this.

Or not.

Des.

You promised.

And you know what happens
when you break a promise.

- Okay.

Okay.

- And, babe, please stop
it with the tears, okay?

There's nothing sexy about that.

- I know.

I'm sorry.

- Stop saying sorry, okay?

Come on.

It's big girl time, okay?

- Okay.

And now, for
the grand finale.

- And now, for the grand finale.

That's good enough.

You can stop there.

- What?

- This is totally
gonna go viral.

Isn't that great?

And you look so hot, by the way.

Doesn't she, Josh?

Yes, very.

Your new post
has barely been up

and it's already gone viral.

That's a lot of new followers.

That's a lot of new
people to see you.

It'd be a shame to lose them.

- Yeah.

Real shame.

- Let's see what this
asshole has to say.

Des, I figured out
why Mel looks so familiar.

She's BusyGirl88.

She got shut down
for filming that--

- Wow!

So you're BusyGirl88.

So that's what this is.

Am I your next adventure?

Are you gonna take
me to the park

and watch me kill myself
with a razor blade?!

Am I your new best friend, Mel?!

- Shut up!

Shut the fuck up!

You have no idea what
you're talking about!

Why is it my fault that she
went through with it, huh?

People see what they wanna see!

I wanted to die too.

- What does this have
to do with me, huh?!

What do you want?!
- You know what I want!

I want you and all the
other fake, plastic posers,

pretending to have
a fucking life,

to show the world something
it actually wants to see!

But you're never gonna
understand that, are you, Des?

- Film me.

You're really done with me?

- Aw.

You gonna miss me?

No.

- Congratulations.

- Help!

Help!

Help!

Please.

Oh, please.

Please, help me.

Please, help me.

Help!

Please!

Help me!

Fuck!

Help!

Fuck!

Help!

Please.

Fuck!

Help!

Fuck!

Help!

Please.

Des!

I know you're here!

- Dave?!

Dave, I'm in here!

I'm in here!

Dave?!

Des?

Call the police.

She's gonna kill me.

- There's nobody here.

I'm burning.

Come on.

Ow.

There you go.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God, Des.

I am so sorry.

I thought she
was gonna kill me.

I'm here now.

I'm here.

Let's call the police.

I should've never left.

I'm just
glad that it's over.

Me too.

I'm sorry it took me
so long to get here.

I'm just
glad that it's over.

What's that doing here?

- I don't know.

That's
her webcam, right?

- Yeah.

Why is that still here?

- I don't know!

- Stay here.

I'm gonna go check the house.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, please.

Dave, don't go.
- I'll be fine.

- Don't go.
- I'll be right back.

- No, no, no, don't
leave me, please!

Don't leave. No!

Dave! No!

- What the fuck?

The cameras are
still in here too!

You're blinking.

You're still on, aren't you?

- Dave?!

Is she still here?!

Dave!

Dave!

Dave?!

Dave, what happened?!

I'm gonna
check the fuse box.

It's probably nothing.

- It's in the closet
by the front door!

Dave?!

Dave!

Are you okay?!

Dave!

Dave?!

Dave?

Oh, my God.

Dave?

We're all set up.

Ready whenever you are.

- Hey, Dave.

How's the screenplay coming?

Mm.

You really shouldn't have come.

We didn't want you here.

But it's so sweet
you remembered me.

I didn't know you were such
a big fan of BusyGirl88.

What do you see in
this guy anyway?

He's so ugh.

Maybe your fans would like
to see him in our video, huh?

What do you think?

- I hope you fucking die.

I swear to God.
- Oh.

Your fans, maybe not,
but my fans would.

I found a place that appreciates
the sorta thing I do.

They appreciated
my suicide video.

They appreciate me.

It's a small community,
but it's thriving.

What do you say, Des?

You ready to be a star there?

- No--
- Oh, shut up, Dave!

Maybe they'd like to see
us do stuff together, huh?

What kind of stuff you
think they'd like to see?

Mm.

Oh!

Oh, there's the grand
finale that's promised.

And I think Des would
wanna do the grand finale.

If not, you can watch
me slit his throat.

Huh, what do you think Dave?!

What do you say, Des?

Ready to be a star?
- Please, don't hurt him.

Please.
- Oh.

It's up to you.

Action!

- Hey.

- Des.
- I'm sorry.

I'll do it, I just, I
need a minute, okay?

- Dave!

We're gonna need
you to be quiet.

- I don't want her
to hurt you, okay?

We're gonna get through
this, I promise.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.
- Let's get back to it.

We're ready to do this.

Slow down, Joshie.

Des?

Places.

Places!

Dave, aren't you so glad

that your girlfriend
got back into acting?

- You can't show
this on the internet.

This isn't for
your type of internet.

I think you know that.

- I'm sorry, but...

- Nope! Time's up. Josh.
- No, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, please don't,
please don't, please don't!

Ah, yeah!

- You're gonna have to try
a lot harder than that, Des.

Josh.

It's okay.

You can cry now.

My fans like it when they cry.

Oh.

Ta-da!

The grand finale.

I bet you're
wondering what's next.

I just can't decide which.

Oh, yes.

Let's start with
something simple.

Do you wanna watch, Dave, huh?

You have to be good and
wait your turn, Josh.

How about...

Oh, yes.

Oh, no!

Oh, my.

Oh.

It's still in form!

What do you think my
fans would like to see next?

Mm.

You know, I do
feel bad for Dave.

I mean, he warned
you not to do it,

and you opened up your life

and he's a part of
it, so here we are.

Dave.

You look like you wanna hit me.

Do you wanna hit me?

Go ahead.

Hit me.

No, stop it!

- You want some
more, Dave, huh?!

Josh.

Projector.

I've got a special
surprise for you, Dave.

It's your girlfriend's
premier party.

Oh, what's wrong, Dave, huh?

You like it, you feeling feisty?

Come on. Get up.

Get up, tough guy.

This is fun, come on!

That kinda hurt, Dave.

You hit me pretty hard.

Kinda something like this!

No, no,
no, no, no, no, no!

No!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

- Oh.

Don't worry, Des.

Everything's gonna be all right.

So much has happened!

So much to use.

So thank you.

- Just fucking kill me.

I can't stand hearing your
fucking voice anymore.

Kill me!

- How should I do it, Des?

My fans wanna know.

Do you have any ideas?

I'll do anything for 'em.

Come on.

Fine.

Bye-bye, Des.

Is something funny?

This is it?

Is this it?

What are
you talking about?

- You cut off one little toe,

and now, you're gonna kill
me with my fucking tool

I use to making jewelry with?

Is that some stupid symbolic
shit you just thought of?

How pathetically bland you are.

I expect more.

They do too.
- Shut the fuck up!

- No, no, go ahead.

I'm sure your fans
would really enjoy it!

No, wait!

Maybe we can just stop and
do another milk challenge

while we're at it!

You're so lame,

and your audience thinks
your lame, BusyGirl88.

- I'm gonna enjoy killing you.

- And you're gonna do
it before you even let

Josh get to have me?

He does all that work for you

and he doesn't
even get a taste?!

Is that how jealous you are?

You won't even let your audience
see what they wanna see?

Isn't that right, Joshie?

But your girlfriend
won't let you.

Oh, poor Joshie.

I thought this was the dark web.

I guess I was wrong.

Stop.

- Wouldn't wanna cover up
your pretty face, Mel-Mel.

I'm gonna need you to be quiet.

Can you do that for me?

You know, I think
I finally get you.

And I wanna show you
just how thankful I am

for helping me expand my brand!

I think it really worked!

Aw.

Oh, what's the matter, Mel?

Are you worried what
your precious fan base

will think of you now?

Maybe Joshie can help me
edit the finish cut later.

What do you say, Joshie?

Go on.

- Goblin.

Great, I
think we got it.

And now, for the grand finale.

For your fans.

- Just fucking do it!

Just fucking do it!

Hey, Des, it's Greg
from Top Tier Talent again.

Just wanted to say, hey,

and great job with
the whole vlog thing.

You're getting
some real traction.

Lots of calls coming in.

But yeah, actually, just
wanted to see if you had time

to get in front of this
casting director later today.

Can you make that work?

♪ Oh, I'm obviously crazy ♪

♪ But secretly insane ♪

♪ I'll make you
guess and wonder ♪

♪ As I let you play my game ♪

♪ I will always
let you make it ♪

♪ Make it to the end ♪

♪ But it don't really matter ♪

♪ 'Cause I will always win ♪

♪ I'm not trying to be mean,
I'm not gonna lose it all ♪

♪ I just know where I've
been, I don't wanna fall ♪

♪ I'm not trying to be mean,
I'm not gonna lose it all ♪

♪ I just know where I've
been, I don't wanna fall ♪

♪ Start being independent ♪

♪ I can't even handle myself ♪

♪ At times, I am so tilted ♪

♪ How could I keep while
the sun will melt ♪

♪ Ah, ooh ♪

♪ Ah, ooh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪