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1
00:00:06,308 --> 00:00:11,422
This is my boss, Jonathan
Hart, a self-made millionaire.
2
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:14,179
He's quite a guy.
3
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:21,565
This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.
4
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:24,590
She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.
5
00:00:27,162 --> 00:00:30,040
By the way, my name is Max.
6
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,309
I take care of both of them,
7
00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:32,776
which ain't easy,
8
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,080
'cause when they
met, it was murder.
9
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:33,225
I don't like it.
10
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,806
Yesterday, I fed him twice,
11
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,708
and he was all right.
12
00:01:37,732 --> 00:01:40,077
Today, he's eaten three times...
13
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:41,812
And look at him.
14
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:44,715
That is only his little
doggy way of saying
15
00:01:44,739 --> 00:01:47,039
that he requires more.
16
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,421
Which should mean
that our sales...
17
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,957
will be ever increasing.
18
00:01:52,981 --> 00:01:55,059
Now, what could
be wrong with that?
19
00:01:55,083 --> 00:01:58,985
But without the food,
he becomes crazed.
20
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,731
Now, now, my dear,
21
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:04,034
that's only a temporary
condition, I assure you.
22
00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:05,124
Watch this:
23
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,372
There you are, my boy.
24
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:09,495
Ha!
25
00:02:11,032 --> 00:02:12,376
There, you see?
26
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,779
Docile as a lamb.
27
00:02:14,803 --> 00:02:18,515
Until, of course, he starts
to need his next feeding.
28
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,851
But that's what worries me.
29
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:25,077
What if the dog's owner
should run out of food?
30
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,458
Well, of course,
31
00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:31,517
that would be a private matter
between the dog and his master.
32
00:02:32,487 --> 00:02:34,987
It would be unfortunate,
I must admit.
33
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:39,370
The dog... just
might bite off the hand
34
00:02:39,394 --> 00:02:40,893
that doesn't feed it.
35
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,872
♪ Da-da da-da da Dum-dum ♪
36
00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:57,543
Oh.
37
00:02:59,781 --> 00:03:03,727
Hey, Max, that
smells sensational.
38
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:04,728
Thanks, Mr. H.
39
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:05,796
Let me guess.
40
00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:06,930
Sure, go ahead.
41
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:07,931
Beef. Right.
42
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,299
Onions. Right.
43
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,368
Maybe a touch of wine? Right.
44
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,402
Beef stew.
45
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,671
Beef bourguignon.
46
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,605
Ah, that's my favorite.
47
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,774
When's lunch?
48
00:03:16,798 --> 00:03:17,808
Right now.
49
00:03:17,832 --> 00:03:19,977
Come and get it.
50
00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:21,801
Max, I'm standing right here.
51
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,183
That's Freeway's bowl.
52
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,184
Yeah.
53
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,640
This is Freeway's lunch.
54
00:03:34,249 --> 00:03:35,426
Where's my lunch?
55
00:03:35,450 --> 00:03:37,328
Oh, you and Mrs. Hart
56
00:03:37,352 --> 00:03:40,231
are having health-food
salads á la Max.
57
00:03:40,255 --> 00:03:41,565
What's that?
58
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,835
Pot cheese, cabbage
and alfalfa sprouts.
59
00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:46,503
What are those
little white things
60
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,288
without the marks that
look like dice? Tofu.
61
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,941
"To" what?
62
00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:53,176
Tofu. Japanese bean curds.
63
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,320
Try one. They're good.
64
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,393
How do ya like it?
65
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,654
Snake eyes.
66
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:04,954
They're very healthy for ya...
67
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,156
I'm already healthy, Max.
68
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,740
Mrs. H wants you
to stay that way.
69
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,662
Oh, boy, am I hungry.
70
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,631
Darling, some of us
around here are getting
71
00:04:13,655 --> 00:04:14,865
preferential treatment.
72
00:04:14,889 --> 00:04:17,134
Oh, well, I'm glad to
see you recognized that.
73
00:04:17,158 --> 00:04:19,002
Freeway is getting
beef bourguignon.
74
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,370
Mm-hm. I'm getting torfu.
75
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,072
Tofu.
76
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,873
I want an explanation.
77
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:26,210
Oh, well, that's
really very simple.
78
00:04:26,234 --> 00:04:28,345
He doesn't like salad.
79
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,347
You see, Freeway
is very finicky.
80
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,384
If the food isn't just
right, he won't eat.
81
00:04:33,408 --> 00:04:35,218
That's right.
82
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,320
Pickle?
83
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,823
What about the gobbling
gourmet? Doesn't he want it?
84
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:42,815
Oh, not with beef
bourguignon, Mr. H.
85
00:05:10,845 --> 00:05:13,165
Where's the schnauzer?
86
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,926
He's sick? Sick?
87
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,463
Is there a vet on the set?
88
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,764
Well, scratch the schnauzer.
89
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:23,489
We'll go with the,
uh... Shih Tzu.
90
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,571
Stop following me
around with that thing.
91
00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:28,772
We're not even shooting yet.
92
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,076
Where's the Shih Tzu?
93
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,866
Sir?
94
00:05:34,736 --> 00:05:35,779
Sir?
95
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,214
He's real cute.
96
00:05:37,238 --> 00:05:40,250
Would you and your dog
like to be in a TV commercial?
97
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:41,284
TV commercial?
98
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,319
What's the product?
99
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,754
It's a brand-new dog food.
100
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:46,289
We're using real
people and real dogs.
101
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,558
You know, we want the
reaction to be authentic.
102
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,293
Dog food?
103
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,762
It's called Doggone-Its.
104
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,064
See, the announcer will
open a can and put it down...
105
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:55,432
Hold it.
106
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,468
Store-bought dog food?
107
00:05:57,492 --> 00:06:00,737
Freeway only eats
home-cooked people's food.
108
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,238
You're wasting your time.
109
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:03,474
Come on, Freeway.
110
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:09,579
Looks like he wants to audition.
111
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:13,406
Okay, but when he turns up
his nose, remember I told you so.
112
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,488
Doggone it.
113
00:06:17,512 --> 00:06:20,624
Remember, your dog'll
be a goner for Doggone-Its.
114
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:21,747
Cut.
115
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:28,965
Thank you so much.
116
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,534
Strike the Shih Tzu.
117
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,302
John, here's another candidate.
118
00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:33,971
Another one?
119
00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:37,307
Somewhere, Francis Ford
Coppola is directing Marlon Brando,
120
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:39,276
and I'm feeding straight
lines to Chihuahuas
121
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,580
and cocker spaniels.
122
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,781
I'm, uh, John
Sperling, the director.
123
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,350
How do you do?
124
00:06:46,374 --> 00:06:49,286
I heard that white
shirts don't film so good.
125
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:50,721
I can go and change.
126
00:06:50,745 --> 00:06:53,990
This is just a test.
127
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,793
Does Fellini put up
with this kind of abuse?
128
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,928
If you'll just step around
here, please, please.
129
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,464
Uh, Jerry, have the bowl ready.
130
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,700
Right. Everyone settle, please.
131
00:07:02,724 --> 00:07:06,158
And have... fun with it.
132
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,473
Roll camera.
133
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,322
Speed.
134
00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:27,491
Action.
135
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:32,096
Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell
you about new Doggone-Its,
136
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,265
the dog food that your
dog'll be simply gone on.
137
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,499
And, uh, your name is?
138
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:37,768
I'm Max, and this is Freeway.
139
00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:39,103
Okay, Max.
140
00:07:39,127 --> 00:07:42,773
Let's see if Freeway here
likes new Doggone-Its.
141
00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:45,809
Look, I gotta warn ya.
Freeway is very finicky.
142
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,245
He don't like
store-bought dog food.
143
00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:51,014
So I-I'm sorry. We're
gonna ruin your commercial.
144
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,205
Well, let's see about that.
145
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,786
Here, Freeway.
146
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,155
Freeway?
147
00:07:58,179 --> 00:07:59,423
I don't believe it!
148
00:07:59,447 --> 00:08:00,690
He's eating it all up.
149
00:08:01,783 --> 00:08:03,860
Freeway, I-I-I don't believe it.
150
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,396
What'd you say the
name of this stuff was?
151
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:07,798
Doggone-Its.
152
00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:11,857
Remember, your dog'll
be a goner for Doggone-Its.
153
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,105
Cut!
154
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,106
Beautiful! Perfect!
155
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,463
Beautiful! Beautiful!
156
00:08:20,301 --> 00:08:22,846
It was beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful. Simply delicious.
157
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,648
Oh, thank you. Oh,
you were good too, Max.
158
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,972
Oh, Barbara. Barbara.
Get his phone number.
159
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,823
Doggone-Its, huh?
160
00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:34,290
That's incredible stuff.
161
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,327
Freeway just knocked off a
big lunch before we got here.
162
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,262
Really? Hm.
163
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,652
Come on, Freeway.
164
00:08:48,062 --> 00:08:50,362
Everyone... that's a wrap.
165
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,012
Oh, Ken. Ken, it was
superb. It was so good.
166
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,482
Mr. Davern, you wanna
test any more dogs today?
167
00:08:58,506 --> 00:08:59,716
Oh, Ken, please.
168
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,485
I've already got fleas
and kennel cough.
169
00:09:01,509 --> 00:09:03,219
Okay. Let's call it a day.
170
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,489
Teamster.
171
00:09:05,513 --> 00:09:07,423
Where's my teamster?
172
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,447
Ah.
173
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,096
Barbara, get the last
three tests to the lab
174
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,800
so we can screen them tonight
for Miss Braff and Dr. Cobb.
175
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:20,170
Mr. Davern, we must have
tested two dozen dogs today,
176
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:23,874
and not one turned his
nose up at Doggone-Its.
177
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:25,442
What's so special about it?
178
00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,678
Now, what could be
special about dog food?
179
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:32,015
My ad agency has
represented many dog foods.
180
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,184
It's all in the packaging
and advertising.
181
00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:35,908
You should know that by now.
182
00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:42,325
I'm not exaggerating.
183
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,228
The director said
I was a natural.
184
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,985
And he's worked with Brando.
185
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,566
Marlon?
186
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,824
Is there another?
187
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:56,506
Gee, I really hope
they decide to use us.
188
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,208
Well, of course they will.
189
00:09:58,232 --> 00:10:01,644
How could they possibly pass
up anyone as cute as Freeway?
190
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:03,913
Darling, there are
hundreds of other dogs.
191
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:08,385
Yeah, but none with his
personality, his good looks.
192
00:10:08,409 --> 00:10:11,054
Thanks to my cooking,
he's good-looking.
193
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,789
He's gonna be famous.
194
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,090
A star is born.
195
00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:16,993
First, there was Rin-Tin-Tin,
196
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:20,964
then Lassie, and now... Freeway!
197
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,099
I can see it all:
198
00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:23,788
cross-country tours...
199
00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:25,624
talk shows...
200
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:30,073
Freeway on the
cover of Dog's Life.
201
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,741
Ooh!
202
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,711
You two don't think you're
getting too carried away, do ya?
203
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,346
Oh, we won't let
it go to his head.
204
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,749
We'll still let you play
205
00:10:38,773 --> 00:10:40,751
with all the dogs in
the neighborhood.
206
00:10:40,775 --> 00:10:41,985
If he's got time,
207
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,454
what with personal
appearances and all.
208
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,989
You know something,
209
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,745
Freeway's gonna need an agent.
210
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:50,560
An agent?
211
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:51,649
Sure.
212
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,335
That's ridiculous.
213
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:02,661
Freeway's not gonna
need an agent. How silly.
214
00:11:04,532 --> 00:11:07,043
All he's really gonna need
is a business manager.
215
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,082
Doggone-Its.
216
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,785
The dog food that your
dog'll be simply gone on.
217
00:11:14,809 --> 00:11:16,419
And, uh, your name is?
218
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,388
I'm Max, and this is Freeway.
219
00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:19,856
Okay, Max.
220
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,026
Let's see if Freeway here
likes new Doggone-Its.
221
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:26,196
Look, I gotta warn ya.
Freeway is very finicky.
222
00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:28,698
He don't like
store-bought dog food.
223
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,834
I'm sorry. We're gonna
ruin your commercial.
224
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,370
Well, let's see about that.
225
00:11:33,394 --> 00:11:34,771
Here, Freeway.
226
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,075
Freeway?
227
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,808
I don't believe it!
228
00:11:37,832 --> 00:11:38,975
He's eating it all up.
229
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,978
What'd you say the
name of this stuff is?
230
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,347
Doggone-Its.
231
00:11:43,371 --> 00:11:46,971
Remember, your dog'll
be a goner for Doggone-Its.
232
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,188
Cut. That was perfect!
233
00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:53,490
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
234
00:11:53,514 --> 00:11:55,394
That was marvelous. Beautiful!
235
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,403
Well, those were the best ones.
236
00:12:06,427 --> 00:12:08,826
My vote goes to Freeway and Max.
237
00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:12,609
What do you think, Miss Braff?
238
00:12:12,633 --> 00:12:15,011
I have to agree.
239
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:18,048
That line about ruining
the commercial is...
240
00:12:18,072 --> 00:12:20,204
solid gold.
241
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,118
Dr. Cobb?
242
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:26,522
The dentist with the
schnauzer wasn't bad.
243
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,059
What about his awful toupee?
244
00:12:29,083 --> 00:12:30,393
Which one?
245
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,396
The dentist's or
the schnauzer's?
246
00:12:43,531 --> 00:12:44,808
Very well, then.
247
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,409
Freeway's our dog.
248
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,744
Good.
249
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,946
Barbara, pick up the film
from the projection booth.
250
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,548
Sure thing.
251
00:12:51,572 --> 00:12:53,349
Jack, hang on to the film.
252
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:54,673
Barbara's coming to pick it up.
253
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,321
You better hang on to that test.
254
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:01,313
I want that ad word
for word when we shoot.
255
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,005
Doctor, are you sure
no one knows the effects
256
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,707
of the Doggone-Its formula?
257
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,342
No one but us.
258
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:23,680
And no one will...
until it's too late.
259
00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:26,015
Don't you think you
made it too strong?
260
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:29,118
The initial shipment
must be strong.
261
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,688
After all, what dog owner
262
00:13:31,712 --> 00:13:35,079
would deny his little
pet its favorite food?
263
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,196
We'll dilute the formula later.
264
00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:41,098
We'll make millions.
265
00:13:41,122 --> 00:13:44,690
You have no objection to
making your agency famous...
266
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:49,105
to becoming a millionaire.
267
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,406
Do you, Ken?
268
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:54,344
Sorry.
269
00:13:54,368 --> 00:13:55,712
You scared me.
270
00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:57,280
Ya heard enough?
271
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,882
Nothing.
272
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:01,350
I guess the intercom
button was, uh...
273
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:04,443
Maybe Mr. Davern
forgot to turn it off.
274
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:14,764
The doctor doesn't
want any security leaks.
275
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,399
Honest.
276
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,935
I wasn't even paying attention.
277
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,637
I won't tell anybody.
278
00:14:20,661 --> 00:14:22,572
That's right.
279
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:23,828
You won't.
280
00:14:34,909 --> 00:14:39,311
Doggone-Its dog
food spot, take 23.
281
00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:45,195
Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell
you about new Doggone-Its,
282
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:48,497
the dog food that your
dog'll be simply gone on.
283
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,099
And, uh, your name is?
284
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:55,304
I am Max, and this is Freeway.
285
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:57,640
Okay, Max, um,
286
00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:01,233
let's see if Freeway here
likes new Doggone-Its.
287
00:15:04,705 --> 00:15:08,018
Wow! Isn't that amazing?
288
00:15:08,042 --> 00:15:11,576
I... Uh... What is
the name of this?
289
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,791
We'll use the test.
290
00:15:14,815 --> 00:15:19,618
Remember, your dog'll
be a goner for Doggone-Its.
291
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,789
Cut.
292
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,590
Oh.
293
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,775
What...? W-was that all right?
294
00:15:31,799 --> 00:15:32,909
It was wonderful, Max.
295
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,878
W-wait, because I...
No, it was fine, just...
296
00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:35,979
I tried to remember the...
297
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,048
Which words to
emphasize, and, uh...
298
00:15:38,072 --> 00:15:39,192
Did I get it right?
299
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:43,652
Mr. Hart, Mrs. Hart.
300
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,710
Oh, Miss Braff.
301
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,158
Dr. Cobb. Hello.
302
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:53,029
It looks as if Freeway
really goes for Doggone-Its.
303
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,663
Doesn't it?
304
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:57,367
When is it gonna be
available to buy in the stores?
305
00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:01,304
Until we gear up, we
can't go into full production.
306
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:04,908
But I would be delighted to give
you some sample cans right now.
307
00:16:04,932 --> 00:16:06,442
Oh!
308
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,611
Well, we'd certainly
appreciate that.
309
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,513
I'm sure Freeway will too.
310
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,449
He's a healthy-looking dog.
311
00:16:12,473 --> 00:16:14,216
You look very fit too, Mr. Hart.
312
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,574
Mm.
313
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,723
Thanks.
314
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,331
Either of you wrestle?
315
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,614
I beg your pardon?
316
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:25,828
Well, yeah,
317
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,997
we wrestle over an
occasional crossword puzzle.
318
00:16:31,692 --> 00:16:33,002
Why do you ask?
319
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,203
I was curious.
320
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,187
Wrestling is a hobby of mine.
321
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,142
Well, in that case, uh...
322
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,077
I don't think we'd
better pull your leg.
323
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,312
Oh, that might be dangerous.
324
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,837
I... I've been laid up in this
wheelchair for a month now.
325
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:50,453
Got him in the
Argentinean backbreaker...
326
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,989
pinned him in 30 seconds.
327
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,428
You mean, the two of
you wrestle each other?
328
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:00,997
He just loves contact sports.
329
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,665
Indeed, I do.
330
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:06,903
Mrs. Hart, perhaps when
I'm back on my feet again,
331
00:17:06,927 --> 00:17:10,995
you and Mr. Hart would
like to join Ruby and me.
332
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:13,264
For dinner?
333
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,378
Wrestling!
334
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,981
You know, a tag team match.
335
00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:19,949
Girls against the boys.
336
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:22,651
The doctor and I are
always looking for...
337
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:23,675
partners.
338
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:30,560
Oh, you know, I... I was just
saying to Jonathan the other day
339
00:17:30,584 --> 00:17:34,664
that jogging is
getting to be so... dull.
340
00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,555
Oh. Ooh.
341
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:43,395
Well... Uh, Freeway.
Come here, baby.
342
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,343
Miss Braff, Dr. Cobb.
343
00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:48,878
Come on, darling, let's go home.
344
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,182
Max.
345
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:54,884
Thanks. I'll try to remember
all the motivations you gave me.
346
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:55,885
Marvelous.
347
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,053
Time to go home.
348
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,077
Ah.
349
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,525
So long. Hope I see
you in the next take.
350
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,538
Yesterday, we ran
out of Doggone-Its.
351
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:18,074
He won't eat anything else.
352
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,843
Freeway is not Freeway.
353
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,779
He's so sluggish.
354
00:18:22,803 --> 00:18:24,581
He's not playful.
355
00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:26,783
He won't eat my cooking.
356
00:18:26,807 --> 00:18:29,218
That ain't my Freeway.
357
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,753
Of course it is.
358
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,611
He's the same old Freeway.
359
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,357
It's just that...
360
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,683
stardom is taxing on anyone.
361
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,890
Here, baby.
362
00:18:46,894 --> 00:18:49,138
Max made it specially for you.
363
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,796
It's your favorite.
364
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,352
What's he doing?
365
00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:04,220
Isn't that where you
kept the Doggone-Its.
366
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,244
Right.
367
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:10,826
He certainly misses them.
368
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,016
Misses them?
369
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:16,253
He can't live without them.
370
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,277
You can have any of those
publicity stills you want.
371
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:43,092
So how does it feel to
be the owners of a dog
372
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:45,462
that's about to be thrust
into the national limelight?
373
00:19:45,486 --> 00:19:49,398
Well... not much
different than before.
374
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:52,001
Mr. Davern, you're the head
of advertising for Doggone-Its?
375
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,270
Yes, I am.
376
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,271
What's in it?
377
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,106
The ingredients?
378
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,574
Yes.
379
00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,631
Uh... here.
380
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,880
Read 'em for yourself.
381
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,249
Wow. Wow.
382
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,151
Certainly goes on forever.
383
00:20:08,175 --> 00:20:10,353
Oh, we've developed
some new flavor enhancers,
384
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,655
but, basically, it's standard
dog food ingredients.
385
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:15,424
You see, we design a
great-looking package,
386
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,161
and the advertising
campaign does all the rest.
387
00:20:18,185 --> 00:20:21,297
And we've got a couple of
winners in Freeway and Max.
388
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,266
Well, I'll tell you one thing,
389
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,668
Freeway won't eat anything else.
390
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,337
As a matter of fact,
we were so worried,
391
00:20:27,361 --> 00:20:29,321
we took him to our
own veterinarian.
392
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:30,540
And?
393
00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:34,344
Well... the vet said
he was very healthy.
394
00:20:34,368 --> 00:20:37,135
It's just that he won't
touch any other sort of food.
395
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:43,819
Oh, don't worry
about that, Mrs. Hart.
396
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,122
I'll send you more
Doggone-Its this afternoon.
397
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:48,724
Well... thank you.
398
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,494
And thanks very much
for the publicity shots.
399
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,162
It's my pleasure.
400
00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:54,831
Buh-bye.
401
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:48,113
There you go.
402
00:21:48,942 --> 00:21:50,222
That's a good boy.
403
00:22:00,621 --> 00:22:02,887
Ah, there you are,
my good friend.
404
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,603
Miss Braff, Dr. Cobb.
405
00:22:06,627 --> 00:22:09,472
Wha-what seems
to be the problem?
406
00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:12,374
You sounded so
worried on the phone.
407
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:13,610
It's the Harts.
408
00:22:13,634 --> 00:22:14,744
I'm worried about them.
409
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:16,145
The Harts?
410
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:18,313
I find them refreshing.
411
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,249
They're in love.
412
00:22:20,273 --> 00:22:22,285
And, they're even married.
413
00:22:24,944 --> 00:22:28,358
Doctor, they're... They're
really curious about Doggone-Its.
414
00:22:28,382 --> 00:22:30,326
They wanted to
know what's in it.
415
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:32,061
Then tell them.
416
00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:34,597
I did. Mr. Hart even
took the list of ingredients.
417
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:36,498
Hm... So?
418
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,734
It's one thing to have
a list of the ingredients,
419
00:22:38,758 --> 00:22:41,203
and it's quite another thing
420
00:22:41,227 --> 00:22:44,407
to have the formula
for the ingredients.
421
00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:46,151
Forget the Harts.
422
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:49,445
We have some big news for you.
423
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:52,748
Telmore Foods will
be branching out.
424
00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:54,150
Oh?
425
00:22:54,174 --> 00:22:58,621
A whole new line
of foods... for people.
426
00:22:58,645 --> 00:23:02,191
When we started this,
you said just animals.
427
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:05,294
People... It's
immoral. You can't!
428
00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:06,763
Can't?
429
00:23:06,787 --> 00:23:09,432
I should think
you'd be delighted.
430
00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:11,166
You'll be handling
the advertising
431
00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:12,768
for a billion-dollar company.
432
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,303
You'll be rich.
433
00:23:14,327 --> 00:23:16,772
Richer than you've ever dreamed.
434
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:19,875
Well, I'll, uh...
435
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:22,278
I'll have... I'll have
to think about it.
436
00:23:22,302 --> 00:23:23,635
By all means...
437
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:26,982
do.
438
00:23:35,716 --> 00:23:38,316
I think you frightened them.
439
00:23:52,999 --> 00:23:55,333
He may become a problem.
440
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:58,837
We know how to
deal with problems.
441
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,853
Hm?
442
00:24:11,517 --> 00:24:14,664
Here ya go, Mrs. H. Doggone-Its.
443
00:24:14,688 --> 00:24:16,554
Okay, Freeway.
444
00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:19,168
There you go.
445
00:24:19,192 --> 00:24:21,604
Ooh.
446
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,138
You think that food's okay?
447
00:24:24,163 --> 00:24:25,830
Don't be so suspicious.
448
00:24:29,101 --> 00:24:31,213
If other dogs like it half
as much as Freeway does,
449
00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:33,671
maybe we should buy
stock in Telmore Foods.
450
00:24:38,511 --> 00:24:40,622
Maybe you should buy
the whole company, Mr. H.
451
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:41,724
Hey.
452
00:24:48,421 --> 00:24:49,398
Hello?
453
00:24:49,422 --> 00:24:51,600
May I speak to Mr. Hart please?
454
00:24:51,624 --> 00:24:52,869
This is Jonathan Hart.
455
00:24:52,893 --> 00:24:55,204
Uh, this is Ken
Davern at the agency.
456
00:24:55,228 --> 00:24:56,805
Oh, yes, Ken. What
can I do for you?
457
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,608
Mr. Hart, I wanna talk to you.
458
00:24:58,632 --> 00:25:01,733
This whole Doggone-Its
thing is getting out of hand.
459
00:25:03,970 --> 00:25:06,170
Can you meet me in
my office right away?
460
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,606
What seems to be the trouble?
461
00:25:09,909 --> 00:25:11,654
N-not on the phone.
462
00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:13,344
I don't trust them anymore.
463
00:25:14,314 --> 00:25:15,591
I'll be waiting for you.
464
00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:17,226
We'll be there right away.
465
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:18,616
Bye-bye.
466
00:25:27,694 --> 00:25:29,127
Who was that?
467
00:25:31,898 --> 00:25:35,666
That was, um, Ken
Davern at the ad agency.
468
00:25:36,135 --> 00:25:38,447
And, uh... And?
469
00:25:38,471 --> 00:25:40,205
And someone listening in on us.
470
00:25:41,274 --> 00:25:42,473
Hm.
471
00:26:03,163 --> 00:26:04,228
Ken?
472
00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:11,602
And, per our conversation
today... Doggone-Its...
473
00:26:13,473 --> 00:26:16,285
Monday. Uh,
sincerely, Ken Davern.
474
00:26:16,309 --> 00:26:18,654
Memo to all departments.
475
00:26:18,678 --> 00:26:21,356
There will be a staff
meeting tomorrow morning
476
00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:24,260
at 10 sharp in my office
477
00:26:24,284 --> 00:26:27,463
to discuss the east coast
media buy and subsequent plans
478
00:26:27,487 --> 00:26:30,566
for saturation selling in
the New York and Boston...
479
00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:32,090
Uh, Boston markets.
480
00:26:58,518 --> 00:27:01,664
He is... Dead.
481
00:27:01,688 --> 00:27:03,499
Ah.
482
00:27:09,996 --> 00:27:12,664
Call the police,
darling. I'll be right back.
483
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,009
Hey.
484
00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:35,764
What outfit are you with?
485
00:27:35,788 --> 00:27:37,199
Arrowpoint Custodial.
486
00:27:37,223 --> 00:27:38,200
Oh.
487
00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:40,436
Is this, uh, uniform
standard equipment?
488
00:27:40,460 --> 00:27:41,460
Yeah.
489
00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:45,730
How 'bout those?
490
00:28:17,797 --> 00:28:19,263
Jonathan!
491
00:29:03,176 --> 00:29:04,653
Jonathan.
492
00:29:09,382 --> 00:29:11,426
Oh... darling.
493
00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:12,728
Oh, darling.
494
00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:15,130
I thought you fell 21 floors.
495
00:29:15,154 --> 00:29:16,698
That was the idea.
496
00:29:16,722 --> 00:29:19,869
Luckily, the elevator was on 20.
497
00:29:19,893 --> 00:29:21,837
Listen, I think it's
about time we find out
498
00:29:21,861 --> 00:29:23,438
just how they make Doggone-Its.
499
00:29:23,462 --> 00:29:24,539
I'm with you.
500
00:29:24,563 --> 00:29:25,829
Let's go.
501
00:29:32,572 --> 00:29:35,050
Now, our chemistry
department took the ingredients
502
00:29:35,074 --> 00:29:36,719
in every known dog food,
503
00:29:36,743 --> 00:29:38,453
plus the ingredients
in Doggone-Its
504
00:29:38,477 --> 00:29:40,522
and fed them all
into the computer.
505
00:29:40,546 --> 00:29:42,691
So if there's anything
different in Doggone-Its,
506
00:29:42,715 --> 00:29:44,526
it will, uh, show in
this printout, right?
507
00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:45,594
Right you are, sir.
508
00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:46,895
And here they are.
509
00:29:46,919 --> 00:29:49,565
Nitrous sulphonexol and this...
510
00:29:49,589 --> 00:29:53,602
Yeah, that's, uh, dicalcium
sulphoromatol, right?
511
00:29:53,626 --> 00:29:54,636
Precisely.
512
00:29:54,660 --> 00:29:55,738
Mm.
513
00:29:55,762 --> 00:29:57,206
Sounds delicious.
514
00:29:57,230 --> 00:29:59,041
No wonder Freeway loves it.
515
00:29:59,065 --> 00:30:00,909
Stanley,
516
00:30:00,933 --> 00:30:04,113
are these ingredients
only found in Doggone-Its?
517
00:30:04,137 --> 00:30:07,838
No. A lot of the foods contain
one or the other of them.
518
00:30:10,109 --> 00:30:11,454
Then, that's not it.
519
00:30:11,478 --> 00:30:14,022
Maybe not, but the strange thing
520
00:30:14,046 --> 00:30:15,524
is that only Doggone-Its
521
00:30:15,548 --> 00:30:17,860
contains both these chemicals.
522
00:30:17,884 --> 00:30:21,096
Are you saying that these
two ingredients are harmless,
523
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,798
but if you put them together,
they'd make something different?
524
00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:24,900
It's possible.
525
00:30:24,924 --> 00:30:28,270
For instance, uh,
if you have vodka...
526
00:30:28,294 --> 00:30:30,572
And you add orange juice,
527
00:30:30,596 --> 00:30:32,274
you get a screwdriver.
528
00:30:32,298 --> 00:30:33,776
Right?
529
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,599
If you say so, Mrs. Hart.
530
00:30:36,903 --> 00:30:40,149
Uh, now, here I've arranged
a-a little demonstration.
531
00:30:40,173 --> 00:30:43,018
Now, you see two
harmless chemicals,
532
00:30:43,042 --> 00:30:45,220
but you mix one with the other,
533
00:30:45,244 --> 00:30:47,989
and you get a third thing
that's completely different.
534
00:30:53,285 --> 00:30:56,131
I guess I made this
batch a little strong.
535
00:30:56,155 --> 00:30:59,023
Uh, but I'll take care
of it, Mr. Hart, okay?
536
00:31:02,695 --> 00:31:04,006
Stanley,
537
00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:07,476
what do you think that the
chemicals in Doggone-Its...
538
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:09,278
What do you think
they're producing?
539
00:31:09,302 --> 00:31:11,813
Um, well, I... Our
chemists seem to think
540
00:31:11,837 --> 00:31:14,383
it's some kind of new,
undetectable stimulant,
541
00:31:14,407 --> 00:31:16,852
but until we get the...
The right chemical balance,
542
00:31:16,876 --> 00:31:17,908
who knows?
543
00:31:19,478 --> 00:31:20,622
If Freeway could only talk,
544
00:31:20,646 --> 00:31:22,591
he could tell us
what the effect was.
545
00:31:22,615 --> 00:31:25,182
It's just too bad that he can't.
546
00:31:26,786 --> 00:31:31,600
Hi, Jerry Grey here to tell
you about new Doggone-Its,
547
00:31:31,624 --> 00:31:33,769
the dog food that your
dog'll be simply gone on.
548
00:31:33,793 --> 00:31:36,138
And, uh, your name is?
549
00:31:36,162 --> 00:31:37,839
I'm Max, and this is Freeway.
550
00:31:37,863 --> 00:31:40,642
Okay, Max, um,
let's see if Freeway...
551
00:31:40,666 --> 00:31:43,879
Quiet! This is the
world premiere.
552
00:31:43,903 --> 00:31:46,182
Freeway is very finicky.
553
00:31:46,206 --> 00:31:48,350
He don't like
store-bought dog food.
554
00:31:48,374 --> 00:31:50,319
I'm sorry, we're gonna
ruin your commercial.
555
00:31:50,343 --> 00:31:52,654
Well, let's see about that.
556
00:31:52,678 --> 00:31:54,456
Here, Freeway.
557
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,659
Freeway? I don't believe it!
558
00:31:57,683 --> 00:31:59,862
He's eating it all up.
559
00:31:59,886 --> 00:32:01,763
What'd you say the
name of this stuff is?
560
00:32:01,787 --> 00:32:03,131
Doggone-Its.
561
00:32:03,155 --> 00:32:07,570
Remember, your dog'll
be a goner for Doggone-Its.
562
00:32:07,594 --> 00:32:09,738
That is super. That's good.
- Oh!
563
00:32:09,762 --> 00:32:11,529
Well done.
564
00:32:13,132 --> 00:32:14,743
Well done.
565
00:32:14,767 --> 00:32:17,178
I can't understand
why they used that one.
566
00:32:17,202 --> 00:32:20,583
The other was so
much more... meaningful.
567
00:32:20,607 --> 00:32:22,718
Well, fame is
fleeting, back to work.
568
00:32:22,742 --> 00:32:25,754
Ah-ah-ah. Max, we had
this party especially for you.
569
00:32:25,778 --> 00:32:26,855
This is your night.
570
00:32:26,879 --> 00:32:28,156
So you relax, we'll take over.
571
00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:29,458
Thank you.
572
00:32:29,482 --> 00:32:30,593
Oh, I'll get that.
573
00:32:30,617 --> 00:32:31,760
Mrs. Hart,
574
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:33,695
um, I can help with
the hors d'oeuvres.
575
00:32:33,719 --> 00:32:34,896
Oh, great. Thanks, Deanne.
576
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,320
Uh, I'll help, Deanne.
577
00:32:40,593 --> 00:32:42,438
Max, with me
handling your career,
578
00:32:42,462 --> 00:32:43,939
you're going all
the way to the top.
579
00:32:43,963 --> 00:32:45,841
Yeah? You think so?
580
00:32:45,865 --> 00:32:48,443
If he does for you what
he did for me, honey,
581
00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:49,978
good luck.
582
00:32:50,002 --> 00:32:51,635
Isn't she great?
583
00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:57,386
Ooh, I don't know
what to bring out first.
584
00:32:57,410 --> 00:32:59,242
This pâté looks good.
585
00:33:05,084 --> 00:33:06,095
Mm.
586
00:33:06,119 --> 00:33:07,562
Mm-mm, okay,
587
00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:09,964
well, then, I'll
bring out the wine,
588
00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:12,134
and, uh, this ice bucket,
589
00:33:12,158 --> 00:33:13,168
and you bring the pâté.
590
00:33:13,192 --> 00:33:14,712
Okay. Okay.
591
00:33:18,464 --> 00:33:20,097
Stanley.
592
00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:23,578
Today.
593
00:33:23,602 --> 00:33:24,701
Okay.
594
00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:30,118
You know, I think with
a little more exposure,
595
00:33:30,142 --> 00:33:31,819
I could sit in for
Johnny Carson.
596
00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,088
Why not?
597
00:33:33,112 --> 00:33:35,524
As a matter of fact,
Johnny is a very, very dear
598
00:33:35,548 --> 00:33:37,081
personal friend of mine.
599
00:33:39,218 --> 00:33:41,129
"He-e-e-ere's Max."
600
00:33:43,122 --> 00:33:44,800
Um, place them over there.
601
00:33:44,824 --> 00:33:45,934
Oh, okay.
602
00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:48,359
Here's some great pâté. Try it.
603
00:33:51,597 --> 00:33:52,874
No, thanks.
604
00:33:52,898 --> 00:33:54,665
I'm a vegetarian.
605
00:33:55,301 --> 00:33:56,445
Looks great.
606
00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:58,313
No, I don't think I
should have any.
607
00:33:58,337 --> 00:34:00,382
I gotta watch out
for my waistline now.
608
00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:02,687
Oh.
609
00:34:02,842 --> 00:34:03,819
Deanne.
610
00:34:03,843 --> 00:34:04,920
This is very wet. Yeah?
611
00:34:04,944 --> 00:34:05,954
Want...?
612
00:34:05,978 --> 00:34:07,589
Oh, perfect. Thanks.
613
00:34:09,315 --> 00:34:10,725
Freeway.
614
00:34:10,749 --> 00:34:12,794
Well, he doesn't seem to
be having too good a time.
615
00:34:12,818 --> 00:34:13,929
No, he doesn't.
616
00:34:13,953 --> 00:34:15,330
Maybe it's the excitement.
617
00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:16,498
What do you think? Ah.
618
00:34:16,522 --> 00:34:19,356
Nah, it's time for dinner.
619
00:34:20,325 --> 00:34:21,636
Come on, Freeway.
620
00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,193
Time to eat.
621
00:34:25,198 --> 00:34:26,808
Are there any carrots?
622
00:34:26,832 --> 00:34:27,809
Carrots?
623
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:29,144
No vegetables.
624
00:34:29,168 --> 00:34:30,328
Just pâté.
625
00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:35,739
I got it all ready
for ya, Freeway.
626
00:34:39,611 --> 00:34:42,546
I could have swore I
left this full of dog food.
627
00:34:45,984 --> 00:34:48,952
We didn't have any
pâté in the house.
628
00:34:50,923 --> 00:34:52,423
Oh, jeez!
629
00:34:55,395 --> 00:34:58,106
A guy goes into
the doctor's office,
630
00:34:58,130 --> 00:35:00,642
says, "Doc, you gotta
help me. I think I'm a dog."
631
00:35:00,666 --> 00:35:02,811
The doctor says, "How
long you felt this way?"
632
00:35:02,835 --> 00:35:04,346
He says, "Ever
since I was a puppy."
633
00:35:13,045 --> 00:35:14,256
This is interesting.
634
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,392
Mm-hm. Is it duck or goose?
635
00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:17,593
I don't know.
636
00:35:17,617 --> 00:35:19,728
Has a bite to it. Mm.
637
00:35:19,752 --> 00:35:21,296
Or should I say peck?
638
00:35:24,023 --> 00:35:26,034
It's sort of like
eating peanuts.
639
00:35:26,058 --> 00:35:27,669
One just isn't enough.
640
00:35:27,693 --> 00:35:28,770
You can't eat that.
641
00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:30,071
Says who? Ah!
642
00:35:30,095 --> 00:35:32,307
He's on TV once, he
thinks he's a big star.
643
00:35:32,331 --> 00:35:33,776
Beat it, Bogart.
644
00:35:36,269 --> 00:35:39,014
Mrs. H, the pâté.
645
00:35:39,038 --> 00:35:41,450
What pâté, Max?
We're not serving pâté.
646
00:35:41,474 --> 00:35:43,994
We're only serving
cheese and crackers.
647
00:35:49,615 --> 00:35:53,295
You know that from here,
that, uh, so-called pâté
648
00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:55,719
looks like Doggone-Its.
649
00:35:57,490 --> 00:36:00,558
You mean, when they were
in the kitchen helping to serve?
650
00:36:02,595 --> 00:36:04,973
It's okay, Max.
It's not your fault.
651
00:36:12,605 --> 00:36:14,416
Yeah. I got it.
652
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,017
How's it going?
653
00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:20,176
Well... it's almost gone.
654
00:36:21,847 --> 00:36:23,625
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
655
00:36:23,649 --> 00:36:26,461
Oh. Well, that's nothing
to get upset about.
656
00:36:26,485 --> 00:36:28,062
Oh, yes, it is.
657
00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:33,134
How are you doing?
658
00:36:35,861 --> 00:36:39,374
This pâté is delicioso.
659
00:36:39,398 --> 00:36:41,477
Wait till I tell the
little woman about it.
660
00:36:42,869 --> 00:36:44,980
And while I'm at it, I
think I'll tell my wife.
661
00:36:47,005 --> 00:36:48,216
Oh, my.
662
00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:50,607
Stanley?
663
00:36:51,610 --> 00:36:53,710
Are you all right, Stanley?
664
00:36:55,648 --> 00:36:57,192
There was nobody
driving, officer.
665
00:36:57,216 --> 00:36:58,993
I swear, we were
in the back seat.
666
00:36:59,017 --> 00:37:00,362
Oh, no.
667
00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:06,568
Gretchen died, and I don't
know what I'm gonna do.
668
00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:08,670
Gretchen?
669
00:37:08,694 --> 00:37:10,672
My gerbil.
670
00:37:10,696 --> 00:37:14,509
I went to kindergarten class,
and when I came home...
671
00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:16,178
she was gone.
672
00:37:25,444 --> 00:37:27,244
It's not funny.
673
00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:30,726
I'm very upset.
674
00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:32,327
Good night. Thanks for coming.
675
00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:33,351
Good night, Janice.
676
00:37:34,653 --> 00:37:36,198
Uh-oh.
677
00:37:36,222 --> 00:37:38,200
Oh. Oh. Thanks a lot, Mr. Hart.
678
00:37:38,224 --> 00:37:39,301
Great party.
679
00:37:39,325 --> 00:37:40,769
Great. Thank you, Mrs. Hart.
680
00:37:41,827 --> 00:37:43,138
Stanley, you're not driving.
681
00:37:43,162 --> 00:37:44,205
Driving?
682
00:37:44,229 --> 00:37:46,375
You're in no condition to drive.
683
00:37:46,399 --> 00:37:48,142
We're not driving, we're flying.
684
00:37:51,003 --> 00:37:51,980
See you later.
685
00:37:52,004 --> 00:37:52,981
Toodle-loo.
686
00:37:53,005 --> 00:37:53,982
Bye.
687
00:37:54,006 --> 00:37:55,550
Stanley, uh...
688
00:37:55,574 --> 00:37:57,886
It's okay, Mr. Hart,
I'll drive him home.
689
00:37:57,910 --> 00:38:00,121
Thank you very much, Mrs. Hart.
690
00:38:00,145 --> 00:38:01,705
Thanks.
691
00:38:04,717 --> 00:38:08,663
You know, Freeway is not
the only one that can't talk.
692
00:38:08,687 --> 00:38:10,265
You can say that again.
693
00:38:10,289 --> 00:38:13,169
You know, Freeway is
not the only one... Ah-ah.
694
00:38:14,726 --> 00:38:16,638
There is something
else in Doggone-Its.
695
00:38:16,662 --> 00:38:19,063
Obviously, it's a narcotic.
696
00:38:23,269 --> 00:38:24,301
Jonathan,
697
00:38:25,504 --> 00:38:28,271
where can I buy that pâté?
698
00:38:29,574 --> 00:38:31,019
Well, if we don't
put a stop to it,
699
00:38:31,043 --> 00:38:33,622
you're going to be able to
get it in your local supermarket.
700
00:38:33,646 --> 00:38:35,112
Gourmet section?
701
00:38:35,681 --> 00:38:36,959
Pet food.
702
00:38:36,983 --> 00:38:38,615
Pet food?
703
00:38:42,955 --> 00:38:45,055
Pet food.
704
00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:49,927
Pet...
705
00:39:12,050 --> 00:39:13,629
So the Harts know.
706
00:39:13,653 --> 00:39:15,897
I think, Mr. Cutshall,
707
00:39:15,921 --> 00:39:19,455
that they should be
dealt with with dispatch.
708
00:39:22,327 --> 00:39:24,006
Right away, Mr. Cutshall.
709
00:39:24,030 --> 00:39:27,676
But they've proved
to be very elusive.
710
00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:30,078
Don't worry. There'll
be no slip-ups.
711
00:39:30,102 --> 00:39:31,413
I'll go after 'em.
712
00:39:31,437 --> 00:39:33,114
Why go after them?
713
00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:35,839
Perhaps they can be
persuaded to come to you.
714
00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:41,779
Let's put on our thinking caps.
715
00:39:58,030 --> 00:40:00,108
I'll be right back, Freeway,
716
00:40:00,132 --> 00:40:02,199
soon as I finish the dishes.
717
00:40:16,982 --> 00:40:18,460
Come on, Freeway.
718
00:40:18,484 --> 00:40:19,828
Psst. Freeway.
719
00:40:19,852 --> 00:40:20,896
Freeway.
720
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,797
Come on, Freeway.
721
00:40:22,821 --> 00:40:24,399
Come on.
722
00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:26,234
Freeway, come on.
723
00:40:26,258 --> 00:40:27,703
Come on, Freeway.
724
00:40:46,278 --> 00:40:48,378
Okay, Freeway, it's ti...
725
00:40:50,649 --> 00:40:52,015
Freeway?
726
00:40:53,018 --> 00:40:54,551
Freeway?
727
00:40:57,422 --> 00:40:58,989
Freeway, here, boy.
728
00:41:01,627 --> 00:41:02,926
Freeway.
729
00:41:04,663 --> 00:41:05,896
Freeway!
730
00:41:11,703 --> 00:41:13,248
I just don't understand Freeway.
731
00:41:13,272 --> 00:41:15,750
He's never disappeared
like this before.
732
00:41:15,774 --> 00:41:17,051
It's my fault.
733
00:41:17,075 --> 00:41:18,787
I heard him bark,
then he was gone.
734
00:41:18,811 --> 00:41:20,688
Don't blame yourself, Max.
735
00:41:20,712 --> 00:41:22,524
But I should have
kept an eye on him.
736
00:41:22,548 --> 00:41:24,725
I knew he was under
a lot of pressure.
737
00:41:24,749 --> 00:41:26,795
Now, how are we gonna find him?
738
00:41:26,819 --> 00:41:29,563
Well, we looked
for him all last night.
739
00:41:29,587 --> 00:41:31,507
I don't know what
else we can do.
740
00:41:34,293 --> 00:41:35,293
I'll get it.
741
00:41:39,498 --> 00:41:40,542
Hello.
742
00:41:40,566 --> 00:41:42,944
Hello, Mr. Hart,
743
00:41:42,968 --> 00:41:47,816
I think your guardian angel
has been working overtime.
744
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:51,419
At any rate, I think we've
found your little doggy.
745
00:41:51,443 --> 00:41:54,522
The name on the
collar was Freeway,
746
00:41:54,546 --> 00:41:57,258
and the telephone
number was yours.
747
00:41:57,282 --> 00:41:59,661
Oh, that's wonderful.
They found Freeway.
748
00:41:59,685 --> 00:42:01,963
They got all the information
off the tag on his collar.
749
00:42:01,987 --> 00:42:02,987
How is he?
750
00:42:03,922 --> 00:42:05,266
Is he all right?
751
00:42:05,290 --> 00:42:07,468
Oh, he's perfect. Just perfect.
752
00:42:07,492 --> 00:42:11,139
But I fear he misses
you dreadfully.
753
00:42:11,163 --> 00:42:12,440
Listen, we thank you very much.
754
00:42:12,464 --> 00:42:14,408
You know that there is
a reward in this for you.
755
00:42:14,432 --> 00:42:16,744
Uh, where can we pick him up?
756
00:42:16,768 --> 00:42:20,849
460 Redmond Drive.
757
00:42:20,873 --> 00:42:22,651
We'll be there in
about 20 minutes.
758
00:42:22,675 --> 00:42:23,885
20 minutes.
759
00:42:23,909 --> 00:42:25,654
Oh, that's perfect.
760
00:42:25,678 --> 00:42:27,277
Just perfect.
761
00:42:32,051 --> 00:42:33,895
What a gentleman.
762
00:42:33,919 --> 00:42:36,486
We're getting a reward.
763
00:42:45,130 --> 00:42:48,276
Are you sure he
said 460 Redmond?
764
00:42:48,300 --> 00:42:49,845
Positive.
765
00:42:49,869 --> 00:42:52,981
Well, there doesn't
seem to be a 460.
766
00:43:09,088 --> 00:43:10,131
Watch out! Duck!
767
00:43:44,322 --> 00:43:45,667
Where are we going now?
768
00:43:45,691 --> 00:43:48,131
To get Freeway,
if it's not too late.
769
00:43:50,095 --> 00:43:52,974
L.A. Mobile. Come
in, L.A. Mobile.
770
00:43:52,998 --> 00:43:54,397
Get me the police.
771
00:44:36,241 --> 00:44:38,942
You guys haven't seen
Freeway, have you?
772
00:44:45,250 --> 00:44:47,770
I'll check down there.
You go that way, darling.
773
00:45:32,631 --> 00:45:35,509
Well... hello, Miss Braff.
774
00:45:35,533 --> 00:45:39,080
Well, Mr. Hart, here we are.
775
00:45:39,104 --> 00:45:41,316
Alone at last.
776
00:45:41,340 --> 00:45:44,019
You know, ever since I met you,
777
00:45:44,043 --> 00:45:47,622
I wanted to get you in a clinch.
778
00:45:47,646 --> 00:45:49,523
Oh. One of those, uh,
779
00:45:49,547 --> 00:45:51,525
two out of three falls
kind of thing, huh?
780
00:45:51,549 --> 00:45:52,861
One-hour time limit?
781
00:45:52,885 --> 00:45:54,896
As a matter of fact,
782
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,687
this will only take a second.
783
00:46:36,128 --> 00:46:39,674
Hold it right there, Mr. Hart!
784
00:46:40,699 --> 00:46:41,909
It was foolish of me
785
00:46:41,933 --> 00:46:44,112
to send Mr. Cutshall after you.
786
00:46:44,136 --> 00:46:45,713
When all is said and done,
787
00:46:45,737 --> 00:46:47,381
if you want a job done properly,
788
00:46:47,405 --> 00:46:50,417
you have to do it yourself.
789
00:46:52,077 --> 00:46:55,223
It's such a naughty
old world, Mr. Hart.
790
00:46:55,247 --> 00:46:59,393
You'll be so much
better off... out of it.
791
00:46:59,417 --> 00:47:00,684
Jonathan!
792
00:47:15,066 --> 00:47:16,644
Relax.
793
00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:18,779
Once you get hooked,
you're gonna love it.
794
00:47:18,803 --> 00:47:21,249
Yes, it's an acquired taste.
795
00:47:35,954 --> 00:47:38,421
"Dictionary
gleanings, for short."
796
00:47:40,392 --> 00:47:42,370
Refs. Reference.
797
00:47:42,394 --> 00:47:44,794
R-E-F.
798
00:47:45,763 --> 00:47:48,044
Darling, are you coming to bed?
799
00:47:50,202 --> 00:47:51,701
I sure am.
800
00:47:53,638 --> 00:47:54,649
Hey, Freeway,
801
00:47:54,673 --> 00:47:58,353
now, you know that
we have got rules
802
00:47:58,377 --> 00:48:00,522
for this kind of
thing. You know that.
803
00:48:00,546 --> 00:48:03,024
Oh, darling, couldn't we just
make an exception tonight?
804
00:48:03,048 --> 00:48:04,459
He's been such a good boy.
805
00:48:04,483 --> 00:48:05,626
Oh, you're right.
806
00:48:05,650 --> 00:48:07,695
He's been a brick all the way,
807
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,564
even when he had
to go cold turkey.
808
00:48:10,622 --> 00:48:11,665
Hey, good dog.
809
00:48:11,689 --> 00:48:13,434
Well, will you listen to that.
810
00:48:13,458 --> 00:48:15,369
He finally likes turkey.
811
00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:16,637
Thank God. Come here.
812
00:48:16,661 --> 00:48:20,007
You know, having a dog with
a golden paw is a bit much.
813
00:48:20,031 --> 00:48:22,176
Poor baby. He's
been through a lot.
814
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:23,677
He's been through a lot? Yes.
815
00:48:23,701 --> 00:48:24,912
What about me?
816
00:48:24,936 --> 00:48:26,147
I got shot at,
817
00:48:26,171 --> 00:48:27,781
thrown down an elevator shaft,
818
00:48:27,805 --> 00:48:30,951
not to mention narrowly escaping
the Argentinean backbreaker.
819
00:48:30,975 --> 00:48:33,121
Yes, but think of Freeway.
820
00:48:33,145 --> 00:48:35,923
He's had his career
nipped in the bud.
821
00:48:35,947 --> 00:48:37,825
Well, tough luck, old buddy,
822
00:48:37,849 --> 00:48:39,594
but that's television.
823
00:48:39,618 --> 00:48:41,151
It's dog-eat-dog.
55962
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