All language subtitles for Royal Crackers s02e07 Mall.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,799 --> 00:00:43,520 So? How'd it go last night? 2 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,520 We drove up to Chester's Peak and spent the whole night under the stars. 3 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:51,079 You gotta lock this man down, Brenda! No offense, but you're Sam Goody. 4 00:00:51,079 --> 00:00:52,479 He's Tower Records. 5 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:58,439 Oh, my God, we're taking it slow, Kate! And I've got my entire life ahead of me. 6 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,479 Brenda Cokono, will you make me the luckiest man in the whole world? 7 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:09,840 Oh, my God! 8 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:37,000 Many moons ago, the bureaucrats in city hall thought it wise 9 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,319 to deprive our great city of its one and only mall. 10 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,719 Once upon a time, our youth were filled with dreams and promise 11 00:01:43,719 --> 00:01:45,840 but we forced them out of the food courts, 12 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,480 arcades and toy stores right into the hands 13 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,319 of the mohawked, switchblade-wielding gangs that awaited just outside! 14 00:01:52,319 --> 00:01:57,280 "Don't re-open this mall!" They said. "It's haunted!" They said. 15 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,519 Well, a new day rises. 16 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:03,319 And under my leadership, we re-open these doors and give back 17 00:02:03,319 --> 00:02:08,199 to the citizens of Bakersfield the mall they so rightly deserve. 18 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,680 I will now cut the ceremonial ribbon with these novelty scissors, 19 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,319 which can be purchased at the new Novelty Scissors store 20 00:02:17,319 --> 00:02:19,280 located on the second floor. 21 00:02:38,879 --> 00:02:41,000 Come on, hon! Our hibachi tables awaits! 22 00:02:41,319 --> 00:02:44,639 Trust me, you do not want to disrespect the Japanese. 23 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,039 Get me a to go box! 24 00:02:46,039 --> 00:02:49,280 Well, well. What'a we have here? 25 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,400 Not a great idea to walk these streets alone, grandpa. 26 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,840 Lucky for you, my buddies'n I got a nice cold six pack 27 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:01,199 back at our gang headquarters. You ever had a beer before, tough guy? 28 00:03:01,199 --> 00:03:03,840 - Yes? - Stebe, it's our anniversary! 29 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:07,439 And I thank you for the invitation, but I respectfully decline. 30 00:03:07,439 --> 00:03:11,759 Oh, no, see, that's a bad move. Cause that'd make you our enemy. 31 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,360 You don't wanna be our enemy now, do ya'? 32 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,479 No? 33 00:03:15,479 --> 00:03:17,759 Stebe Hornsby, you get inside this mall right now! 34 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,800 - Who was that you were talking to? - No one! A friend! 35 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,800 Look at this place! A Vitamin Shop right next to a shoe store!? 36 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:35,039 A store that only sells hats?! I love you so much! Get the F out of here! 37 00:03:35,039 --> 00:03:37,719 - Excuse me, mister. - Not you, silly. Those. 38 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,960 Stebe, I know you would rather be couped up at home, but this is our special day. 39 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,479 Yeah, maybe you're right. 40 00:03:46,479 --> 00:03:51,400 You know me, I'm a thrill seeker. Look! An escalator! 41 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,159 - Stebe, what's wrong? - Nothing. Maybe we take the stairs. 42 00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:04,039 What? Why? Look, it's easy. I'll show you. 43 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:13,960 Now it's your turn! 44 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,480 I don't wanna ride the fucking escalator, okay?! God! 45 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,600 Just one thing after another with you! I'll meet you at the restaurant! God! 46 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:29,000 Looks like the mall is re-opened and I'm on my way to re-election. 47 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,800 Ms. Mayor, we have to shut down the mall now! 48 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,160 These electromagnetic waves 49 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,959 are forecasting an unprecedented spike in paranormal activity! 50 00:04:35,959 --> 00:04:38,680 Officer Smith, meet Doctor Richards. 51 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,240 The mall's lead scientist and a real pain in my you know what. 52 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,000 Sorry, but this mall stays open! 53 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,600 I've been a student of science all my life, Mayor. 54 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,839 Science, science, science! That's all I ever hear from you! 55 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:54,279 And I will not stand idly as you put these good citizens in harms way! Oh, yeah! 56 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,160 We're all doomed! Doomed, Jerry, doomed! 57 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,120 Hey! What happened to the Tower Records? 58 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,959 I'm trying to return this piece of sell-out trash! 59 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,160 Alright, I get it, you don't want to give me my money back. Fine, I'm outta here. 60 00:05:22,879 --> 00:05:28,759 Leave. Leave this mall as soon as you can. It's not safe here. 61 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:33,079 And whatever you do, do not take the escalator... 62 00:05:33,079 --> 00:05:36,720 Let go of me, perv! What are you, my eighth grade piano teacher? 63 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,879 Welcome to Hibachi Chachi's! 64 00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:42,439 I may not be authentically Japanese, but I can assure you I'm a pro. 65 00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:46,399 It's not that you're not Japanese. Although that is a bit of a bummer. 66 00:05:46,399 --> 00:05:47,920 It's my husband, Stebe. 67 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,759 I just wish he'd embrace some of the things I like for once. 68 00:05:50,759 --> 00:05:56,839 I once was in love too, but master Ichiro Makimoto ground my soul to bits over years 69 00:05:56,839 --> 00:06:01,279 of intense, relentless hibachi training, making my heart grow cold. 70 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,079 There you are! 71 00:06:06,079 --> 00:06:08,600 Welcome to Hibachi Chachi's, my name's Phil. 72 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,680 - Phil, huh? Doesn't sound very authentic. - Dude! 73 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,920 Welcome to Build-A-Dillo! What can I help you create today? 74 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,759 But make it quick, we are swamped! 75 00:06:18,759 --> 00:06:19,959 I'm picking... 76 00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:22,199 And for the last time no aardvarks or anteaters! 77 00:06:22,199 --> 00:06:24,959 I'm picking up an advance order. Under Matt Hornsby? 78 00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:27,160 You're going to need to be more specific, kid. We're backed up here. 79 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,920 - What's the name on the 'Dillo? - Matt Hornsby. 80 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:33,199 When I tried to take out a loan from the bank for a customizable armadillo store, 81 00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:35,279 they laughed at me. Can you believe that? 82 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,600 I'm just hoping I can get through this rush in the next few weeks 83 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,079 so I can finally get some downtime. 84 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:42,800 - Sorry! What's the name? - Matt Hornsby. 85 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:47,160 Got it. Alright, just gotta find it here on this long list of 'Dillo orders. 86 00:06:47,519 --> 00:06:49,720 Everybody loves the idea. 87 00:06:51,639 --> 00:06:53,759 You know my dad isn't even talking to me anymore? 88 00:06:53,759 --> 00:06:56,639 Doesn't like that I'm in the 'Dillo biz. Anyway, what's the name? 89 00:06:56,639 --> 00:06:57,720 Matt Hornsby! 90 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,639 One of the new guys must have forgot to put your name down. 91 00:07:00,639 --> 00:07:02,639 Let me see what I can find in the back. 92 00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:06,040 A big time Hollywood producer came in here earlier and said he wants 93 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,120 to write a film trilogy about me and this whole 'Dillo craze. 94 00:07:10,879 --> 00:07:13,000 Anyway, I'll check on that 'Dillo for ya. 95 00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:20,759 Alright. Holsby, Holsby. Where is Holsby? 96 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,720 Where are you? And we've got a sale. 97 00:07:27,519 --> 00:07:30,639 What the... Probably nothing. 98 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,879 What was that? 99 00:07:35,399 --> 00:07:37,199 Eyes and ears are playing tricks on me. 100 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,879 What? What the... Oh, no! 101 00:07:40,279 --> 00:07:43,160 - I feel like I'm in heaven! - Oh, yeah. 102 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,879 Oh, yeah, it's really getting in there. 103 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:54,519 - Barb, it's got me. - It's almost a little too much. 104 00:07:54,519 --> 00:07:56,959 - Barb, help! - Craig! 105 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,319 No! Oh, no! 106 00:08:08,199 --> 00:08:10,759 I have your 'Dillo, Cornsby. 107 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,440 What is it now?! 108 00:08:55,519 --> 00:08:58,919 Keep shopping! I won't let you peasants take this away from me! 109 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,399 It has begun. 110 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,679 Stebe, I can not believe you let him toss that shrimp in your pocket. 111 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:49,799 Who are you and where's the man I married? 112 00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:53,159 Yeah, you were right. Sorry if I've been acting like a wet blanket. 113 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:56,320 It's okay, honey. I just want tonight to be special. 114 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,360 You know, have a little excitement in our lives. 115 00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:05,440 - Oh, my God! - Relax. This has to be part of his show. 116 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,720 I bet he has beef in his pocket and this is how he cooks it. 117 00:10:14,399 --> 00:10:16,200 He's really selling it, huh?! 118 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,360 Oh, God! I don't think this is part of the show! 119 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,000 We've got to get out of here! 120 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,399 Oh, my God! 121 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,559 I knew this place wasn't authentically Japanese! 122 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,679 Stebe, slow down! You know what exotic foods do to your stomach! 123 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,399 Oh, my God! 124 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,200 I know there's been some concerns 125 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:57,159 about the recent slew of deaths here at the mall. And I share your concerns. 126 00:10:57,159 --> 00:11:00,519 Every life is precious. I'm always saying that, ask anyone. 127 00:11:00,519 --> 00:11:04,000 But I can assure you that this mall is perfectly safe. 128 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,960 Do you think I am the type of Mayor who would reopen a mall 129 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,279 if I had been given information that it wasn't safe? 130 00:11:09,279 --> 00:11:14,840 I am the type of Mayor who reopens the mall and everyone loves me for it! 131 00:11:15,879 --> 00:11:20,279 Please, go back to shopping as usual. Everything is fine, trust me. 132 00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:23,679 This is a great, historic day. So have fun! 133 00:11:26,879 --> 00:11:28,240 What? 134 00:11:28,799 --> 00:11:30,799 Oh, shit. Oh, god! 135 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,559 I used to be the manager of Tower Records. 136 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:38,159 I was getting enough money to move out, making minimum wage; 137 00:11:38,159 --> 00:11:40,879 $7.25 back then, which was pretty good, 138 00:11:40,879 --> 00:11:44,440 but then the accident happened. 139 00:11:44,879 --> 00:11:48,960 A young girl got eaten alive by the first floor escalator. 140 00:11:49,639 --> 00:11:52,679 And the mall got shut down for maintenance. It was a boring time, 141 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:57,360 but I went into Spender's Gifts and that's when I found this. 142 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:02,919 -"Ten Thousand Jokes About Weiners?" - Oh, no. Not that one. This one. 143 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,759 At first, when I dabbled a bit, nothing really happened, 144 00:12:08,759 --> 00:12:14,639 but then one night something horrible occurred. 145 00:12:27,159 --> 00:12:29,360 A portal to the netherworld opened. 146 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:37,080 And the spirit of that girl who was eaten by the escalator was released. 147 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,120 And she's been haunting this mall ever since. 148 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,279 So, how brown do you want your panini? 149 00:12:52,279 --> 00:12:56,559 The Tio Pepe Panini Press gets it perfect, every time! 150 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,360 Oh, shit, you live here, huh? 151 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,440 We need to have our heads on a swivel. 152 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,639 Be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary. 153 00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:26,879 Oh, no! 154 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,320 We have to save ourselves! Come on! 155 00:13:38,639 --> 00:13:43,000 Stebe, you usually don't even like to make eye contact with a place like this. 156 00:13:52,519 --> 00:13:55,240 Well, I've had just about enough of this stuff. 157 00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:01,159 I've got 99 problems, and this mall just became top of the list. 158 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:04,840 Oh, Stebe?! 159 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:20,080 Why? 160 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,600 Deb, please! Help me. 161 00:14:30,399 --> 00:14:33,480 I hope you like your beef... well done. 162 00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:00,480 Told you you were running too fast. 163 00:15:07,679 --> 00:15:11,080 Stebe, I've never seen you take charge like this. Do you know something I don't? 164 00:15:27,799 --> 00:15:30,000 - Damn it, we're trapped. - What up, limp dicks! 165 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,120 Theo! Oh, thank God. You're never going to believe it, but this mall is... 166 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,159 Haunted? Yeah, no shit, dude. Tell them what you told me, pervert. 167 00:15:36,159 --> 00:15:38,279 Oh, the weiner joke about the masturbating cow? 168 00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:39,840 What? No! 169 00:15:48,639 --> 00:15:50,480 You fucked with the wrong mall! 170 00:15:52,279 --> 00:15:53,440 - Oh, God! - Stebe, help! 171 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,600 Let her go! Killing her won't win me back! 172 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:01,159 I barely knew you! We went out one time because you wouldn't leave me alone! 173 00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:03,000 Stebe, you know this escalator? 174 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,240 Before I met you, I proposed to someone else, okay? 175 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,120 Right here at this mall. She was so overcome with emotion 176 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,279 that she accidentally got eaten alive by the escalator. 177 00:16:10,279 --> 00:16:12,840 You were just some creepy guy who sat by himself at the food court 178 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,519 watching me eat lunch on my break. 179 00:16:14,519 --> 00:16:16,480 You proposed to someone else?! 180 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,960 It was a long time ago. I thought she was the one! 181 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,960 You told me I was your one and only! 182 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,519 Well, forgive me for being such a hot commodity! 183 00:16:23,519 --> 00:16:25,440 That is such bullshit, Stebe! 184 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,919 Or maybe I wasn't the second choice. Who knows where I am on the list. 185 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,000 - Deb! - Get... get off me! 186 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:40,759 No! 187 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:48,120 Brenda, I'm sorry, okay? I know you weren't expecting me to propose that day. 188 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,039 You're right, we barely knew each other. 189 00:16:52,799 --> 00:16:56,720 I guess I just really wanted to be in love. And I felt bad for a long time, 190 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:01,399 but the truth is if you hadn't gotten mutilated by this faulty escalator, 191 00:17:01,399 --> 00:17:04,759 well... then I never would have met the true love of my life, Deb! 192 00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:06,759 Oh, you mean your second choice? 193 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,279 Maybe if I'd have known that, I would have said, no! 194 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,720 Stebe, that's it! That's my unfinished business. 195 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,400 I never got to answer your question. 196 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:31,759 Brenda Kokono, will you make me the luckiest man in the whole world? 197 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,359 No! 198 00:17:41,319 --> 00:17:46,960 No, Stebe, I will not, and nor would I ever under any circumstances, marry you. 199 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,480 Yeah! 200 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,240 No one turns down a marriage proposal from my husband! 201 00:18:22,759 --> 00:18:24,359 Oh my, you hate to see that. 202 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,960 Happy anniversary, babe. 203 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,079 Wow, that was pretty messed up. Seemed a little unnecessary. 204 00:18:31,079 --> 00:18:33,680 Okay, sure, happy anniversary. 205 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,640 Well, old-timer, I guess this is where our wild ride comes to an end. 206 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:46,359 There is just one more piece of unfinished business to take care of. 207 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:52,440 I used to be the manager of Tower Records. 208 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,279 Man. You're a real fucking weirdo, you know that? 209 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,119 Well, I'm just glad it's all over and everyone is okay. 210 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,519 Well, well, look who it is. 211 00:19:25,519 --> 00:19:28,039 Was wondering if you were gonna show your face around here again. 212 00:19:28,039 --> 00:19:30,599 You reconsider my offer on that beer? 213 00:19:30,599 --> 00:19:34,200 Tellin' ya, my fellow gang members would love to make your acquaintance. 214 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,680 I'm sorry, sir. I'm very flattered, but I'm already in a gang. 215 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,960 And that gang is called my family. 216 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:50,960 Hey! I built this 'dillo for you guys, for your anniversary. 217 00:19:53,079 --> 00:19:55,519 That's actually very sweet. 218 00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:59,359 Yeah, I'm actually finding it very difficult to be angry about this, so... 219 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,279 Thank you. 220 00:20:01,329 --> 00:20:05,879 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 19226

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