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1
00:00:01,901 --> 00:00:03,103
HELLO, HELLO.
2
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:04,204
HEY.
3
00:00:04,304 --> 00:00:06,072
AND HOW IS THE
TRAVEL AGENCY BIZ?
4
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,808
I WON 7 GAMES OF SOLITAIRE.
5
00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:10,443
AND I WENT ON FACEBOOK
AND RECONNECTED
6
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:11,678
{\an8}WITH 6 PEOPLE I HATE.
7
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:15,081
{\an8}ONLY 6? I CAN
CONNECT WITH
PEOPLE I HATE
8
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:18,118
{\an8}EVERY DAY ALL DAY
UNTIL THE MESSIAH
COMES BACK,
9
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:20,186
{\an8}OR TWO-TONE SHOES,
WHATEVER COMES FIRST.
10
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:21,821
{\an8}SO DID YOU BOOK
ANY TRAVEL?
11
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:23,890
{\an8}NO, EDDIE, WE DIDN'T.
WE'RE IN A RECESSION.
12
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,192
{\an8}THE ONLY PEOPLE TRAVELING
ARE ILLEGAL ALIENS,
13
00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:28,094
{\an8}AND THEY RARELY
GO TO RESORTS.
14
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,796
YEAH, EXCEPT TO CLEAN.
15
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,898
HEY, YOU KNOW WHO I
BLAME FOR ALL OF THIS?
16
00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:33,333
NO, EDDIE.
WHO DO YOU BLAME?
17
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,068
WILLIAM SHATNER.
18
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,270
WHAT DID THE SEXIEST MAN
ALIVE EVER DO TO YOU?
19
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,938
{\an8}WELL, IF IT
WEREN'T FOR HIM,
20
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,241
{\an8}PEOPLE WOULD STILL BE
DUMB ENOUGH TO USE YOU
TO BOOK THEIR TRAVEL
21
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:42,642
{\an8}INSTEAD OF DO IT
ON-LINE FOR FREE.
22
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:44,044
{\an8}OK, COME ON. BACK UP.
23
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,912
{\an8}I'M STILL ON WILLIAM SHATNER
AS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.
24
00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:47,247
{\an8}WHO'S YOUR NUMBER 2?
25
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:50,417
{\an8}IT'S TIE BETWEEN
DICK CHENEY AND
VICTOR GARBER.
26
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,353
{\an8}I THINK WE'VE
LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.
27
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:55,155
{\an8}YES, WE HAVE. WHY DON'T
WE GO TO DINNER?
28
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:56,723
{\an8}OK. HOW ABOUT
MIDDLE EASTERN?
29
00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:58,992
{\an8}NO, BECAUSE AN HOUR
AFTER YOU EAT IT,
YOU'RE ANGRY AGAIN.
30
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,760
{\an8}HEH. HOW
'BOUT INDIAN?
31
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,929
{\an8}OOH. INDIAN SOUNDS GOOD.
I'D LOVE ME SOME INDIAN
RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
32
00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:04,264
{\an8}WELL, THEN YOU
SHOULD GO SOMETIME.
33
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:05,732
{\an8}I'M FREE TONIGHT.
34
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,300
{\an8}OH, FANTASTIC.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO
TONIGHT? BYE-BYE.
35
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,535
{\an8}EDDIE, I THINK
SHE WANTS--
36
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:11,071
{\an8}I KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING.
JUST WALK.
37
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,843
{\an8}MORNING.
38
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:18,978
{\an8}GOOD MORNING.
39
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,713
{\an8}SHOULDN'T YOU BE
GETTING READY FOR WORK?
40
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,015
{\an8}ACTUALLY, I DON'T
HAVE TO GO IN TODAY.
41
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,584
{\an8}THEY'RE FUMIGATING
THE SCHOOL. HEAD LICE.
42
00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:27,454
{\an8}GOD BLESS THE IRISH.
43
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,756
{\an8}YOU WORKIN' ON
YOUR HINDENBURG BOOK?
44
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,257
{\an8}WELL, I STARTED TO,
45
00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:33,860
{\an8}AND THEN I TYPED IN
"BLIMP," AND THIS
46
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,496
{\an8}IS WHERE IT LED ME.
CHECK THAT OUT.
47
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,364
{\an8}OH, MY GOD.
WHAT IS THAT?
48
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:41,768
{\an8}WELL, THIS IS A WOMAN
IN INDIANA NICKNAMED
"THE HINDENBOOB."
49
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,770
{\an8}THAT'S HER
OVER THE SUPER BOWL.
50
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:44,938
{\an8}THAT'S AWFUL.
51
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,539
YEAH. YOU THINK
THIS IS AWFUL,
52
00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:49,709
YOU SHOULD TYPE IN
"PANAMA CANAL" AND SEE
WHAT THAT GETS YOU.
53
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:51,544
UGH. I DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR THAT.
54
00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:52,712
I GOTTA GET TO WORK.
55
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:54,047
OH, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO.
56
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,248
I GOTTA GO BEFORE YOU.
57
00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:56,916
VINDALOO CHICKEN.
I'LL BE QUICK.
58
00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,218
NO. NO, NO, NO.
59
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:01,354
WHEN YOU HURRY,
I'M MOPPING FOR DAYS.
60
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:07,327
"P-A-N-A-M-A..."
61
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,296
OOH.
62
00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:13,466
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T
BUY INDIAN FOOD.
YOU JUST RENT IT.
63
00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,902
I SEE WHAT YOU DID WRONG.
64
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:19,272
YOU FORGOT TO PUT
THE "C" IN "CANAL."
65
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:25,545
MORNING, JOY.
66
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,150
BETH?
67
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,417
YEAH?
68
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:35,755
EITHER I'M HAVING
THE MOST INTENSE ACID FLASHBACK,
69
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:39,125
OR EDDIE HAS
ROOFIED ME AGAIN.
70
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:43,096
I'M SEEING A SANDWICH SHOP
WHERE OUR OFFICE SHOULD BE.
71
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,131
YEAH, I KNOW.
AFTER WORK,
THEY MADE SOME CHANGES.
72
00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:48,735
I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU,
BUT YOU WERE
OUT TO DINNER.
73
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,304
WHERE'S THE TRAVEL AGENCY?
74
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:53,473
IT'S GONE, AND WE'RE
OUT OF A JOB.
75
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,808
HUH. OH, MY GOD.
76
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,778
HEY, YOU CAN FILL OUT
AN APPLICATION
IF YOU'D LIKE.
77
00:02:58,878 --> 00:02:59,946
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
78
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,515
THERE'S ONE SPOT LEFT,
BUT GOOD LUCK.
79
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:03,983
I WENT TO VASSAR.
80
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:06,319
HOW'S THAT
GONNA HELP YOU
GET A JOB HERE?
81
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:09,722
OH, IT'S NOT, BUT I JUST
HOOKED UP WITH PACO.
82
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,765
Eddie: IT'S A SUB SHOP?
YES.
83
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,401
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
I-I'M BUILDING
A SANDWICH RIGHT NOW.
84
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:23,169
HEY, HEY. DO ME A FAVOR.
85
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:26,873
DOES THE PROVOLONE GO
ON TOP OF THE SALAMI OR
AFTER THE PROSCIUTTO?
86
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,008
I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE GRASPING
87
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,377
THE ENORMITY OF THE
SITUATION HERE, EDDIE.
88
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:32,845
SURE I AM, HONEY.
89
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,048
IF YOU GET YOUR MEATS
IN THE WRONG PLACE,
IT'S ANARCHY,
90
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:38,518
AND YOU DON'T WANT
ANARCHY IN A WORLD
WITH A UNIFIED GERMANY.
91
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,088
FORGET I MENTIONED IT.
92
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:45,158
AND THE PROVOLONE GOES
ON TOP OF THE SALAMI.
93
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:47,227
AH. GOOD WORK, JOY.
94
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,861
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL BE BACK SOON.
95
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,129
I LOVE YOU.
96
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,464
YEAH. OK.
97
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:57,870
I FEEL MISERABLE.
[COUGHS]
98
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,440
OH, MY POOR BABY.
99
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,008
NO, I DON'T--
I DON'T WANT SYMPATHY.
100
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,543
I WANT MEDICINE.
101
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:06,813
OK. OK. THERE'S KIM PARK'S
HOLISTIC PHARMACY
AND PETTING ZOO,
102
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,882
BUT THAT'S ALL THE WAY
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN,
103
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,417
BUT I CAN WALK OVER THERE.
104
00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:13,553
NO. JUST--
I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG.
105
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:14,921
ASK MY FATHER
FOR A RIDE.
106
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,422
HE'LL BE HAPPY
TO TAKE YOU.
107
00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:19,225
YEAH, BUT HE WON'T BE HAPPY
TO BRING ME BACK. HE HATES ME.
108
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,227
MY FATHER
DOESN'T HATE YOU, DOUG.
109
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,695
THAT'S JUST HIS WAY.
110
00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:24,397
OH, HE DOES TOO
HATE ME, ALLY.
111
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,267
REMEMBER THAT TIME
HE DROVE ME TO TRENTON
AND THEN DROPPED ME OFF
112
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,636
IN THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT SECTION?
113
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,538
WH-WHAT SECTION
WAS THAT?
114
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:35,041
DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT.
IT'S A SLUR.
115
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,977
THEY LIVE IN TINY TOWN.
116
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:41,180
THEY RHYME WITH WIDGETS.
117
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,883
HE WAS JUST SHOWING YOU
HOW HE FEELS EVERYWHERE.
118
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,585
THAT WAS A CRY FOR HELP.
119
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:50,089
NO, A CRY FOR HELP
IS WHEN THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS
WERE ATTACKING ME
120
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:53,059
AND I CRIED FOR HELP.
"JUST GET OFF ME."
121
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,862
I MEAN, TH-THEY DON'T
LIKE OUR KIND, ALLY.
122
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,665
THEY--THEY CALL US
"THE BIG'UNS."
123
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,601
AND I TAKE THAT AS A SLUR.
124
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:02,869
JUST GO, OK?
125
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,571
THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
THAT I CAN'T DO FOR YOU
126
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,840
UNTIL MY NOSE
IS UNSTUFFED.
127
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:11,044
GOTCHA.
128
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,380
ON MY WAY.
129
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,785
EDDIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU COULD JUST SIT THERE
AND EAT A SANDWICH.
130
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:20,620
OUR--OUR LIVES
ARE FALLING APART.
131
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,755
HONEY, COME ON.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
132
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,524
ONLY YOUR LIFE
IS FALLING APART.
133
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:25,925
I STILL HAVE MY JOB,
134
00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:27,860
AND, YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY
HAVEN'T BROUGHT IN
135
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,696
THAT MUCH MONEY
THIS PAST YEAR, ANYWAY, SO...
136
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:32,598
ARE YOU SAYING I'VE
BROUGHT NOTHING TO THE
TABLE THIS ENTIRE TIME?
137
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,300
NO, I--I AM NOT
SAYING THAT.
138
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,669
Y-YOU'VE BROUGHT PLUCK.
139
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:39,105
PLUCK?
140
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,207
YES. YOU'RE--
YOU'RE VERY PLUCKY,
141
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,343
AND YOU'RE--
YOU'RE A GOOD MOTHER.
142
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,778
HUH? YOU SEE
WHERE I'M GOIN' HERE?
143
00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:47,313
MOTHER PLUCKER?
144
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,581
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S--
145
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,416
THAT'S GOOD.
IT'S A GOOD THING.
146
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,852
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT MAKING ME
FEEL ANY BETTER, OK?
147
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,722
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
HONESTLY, JOY, WE ARE
FINE FINANCIALLY.
148
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,057
I-I'M STILL TEACHING.
I'M WRITING THAT BOOK.
149
00:05:58,157 --> 00:06:01,027
I GOT 2 JOBS.
WE DON'T EVEN NEED YOU.
150
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:03,596
WHAT?
151
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,999
WHAT I'M SAYING IS
I THINK THIS IS
A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY
152
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,869
FOR YOU TO BECOME
A TROPHY WIFE FOR A WHILE.
153
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:11,504
REALLY?
154
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:15,742
ABSOLUTELY. NOT FOREVER,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
AFTER SOME TIME,
155
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,678
YOU'LL BEGIN TO SAG AND DROOP
AND WHAT WAS ONCE A TROPHY
156
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,480
BECOMES A TRAGIC REMINDER
OF WHAT USED TO BE.
157
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,917
YOU SEE? BUT--BUT YOU
STILL GOT A LOT OF TREAD
ON THOSE TIRES, BABY.
158
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:27,920
THANKS.
159
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,822
EDDIE, I NEEDED
TO HEAR THAT.
160
00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:35,495
OH, HELLO, MOTHER STARK.
NO WORK TODAY?
161
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:38,931
DAMN IT, DOUG.
162
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:42,101
I ALMOST HAD HER
IN THE BOAT, AND YOU
BROKE THE LINE.
163
00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:43,302
WHAT DID I SAY?
164
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,771
NEVER MIND.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
165
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:48,541
WELL, I WAS HOPING
THAT MAYBE YOU COULD
DO ME A FAVOR.
166
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:50,543
NO.
167
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:51,878
IT'S FOR ALLY.
168
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,346
AW, GOD. MY KRYPTONITE.
169
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,648
OK, WH-WHAT IS IT?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
170
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,316
WELL, SHE'S GOT
A BAD COLD,
171
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,652
AND I NEED A RIDE
TO GO GET HER SOMETHING
172
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,187
AT THE HOMEOPATHIC
PHARMACY.
173
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,156
WELL, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST GO DOWN THE--
174
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,058
W-WAIT A MINUTE.
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE PLACE
ON THE EAST SIDE?
175
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,527
YEAH, RIGHT NEXT TO THE
176
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,696
[BRITISH ACCENT]
NAUGHTY PINE FACTORY.
177
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:14,367
YEAH.
178
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,302
THE KNOTTY PINE FACTORY?
NO. NO, NO.
179
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:18,604
[BRITISH ACCENT]
NAUGHTY PINE,
180
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,507
AS IN, "YOU'VE BEEN
A NAUGHTY BOY,
181
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:24,310
AND YOU'VE GOTTA
GET A SPANKING."
182
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:29,615
[NORMAL] THEY MAKE
HAND-CARVED BIRDS AND,
183
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:33,219
UH, WOODEN MARITAL AIDS.
184
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:34,887
OH, WAIT. WAIT, WAIT.
I KNOW THIS PLACE.
185
00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:36,656
IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO A RESTAURANT
WHERE I LIKE TO GO FOR LUNCH.
186
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:37,924
COME ON. LET'S GO.
187
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,192
REALLY?
YOU DON'T MIND?
188
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,460
NO. NO, NOT AT ALL.
189
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,694
WE'LL GRAB A BITE.
190
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,196
OH, THANK YOU, SIR.
191
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,565
UH, HONEY, LISTEN.
WE'RE GONNA GET OUT
OF HERE FOR A WHILE.
192
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:48,234
I GOTTA TAKE DOUG
TO THE HOMOPHOBIC
PHARMACY.
193
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:50,269
CAN YOU STOP BY
NAUGHTY PINE
194
00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:52,171
AND SEE IF MY
WOODPECKER'S READY?
195
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,208
I LOVE YOU.
196
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,809
YEAH. OK.
197
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,121
UM, SIR, ARE YOU
SURE YOU WANNA EAT
AT THIS STRIP CLUB?
198
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,991
WELL, LISTEN. I FIGURE
SINCE WE'RE ON OUR WAY
TO THE DRUG STORE,
199
00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:14,861
WHY NOT MAKE A STOP
AT THE JUG STORE? HUH?
200
00:08:16,195 --> 00:08:18,397
YEAH, BUT MY WIFE,
YOUR DAUGHTER, IS SICK.
201
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,832
I NEED TO GET HER
SOME MEDICINE.
202
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:22,368
OH, RELAX, DOUG.
WOMEN ARE STRONG,
YOU KNOW.
203
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:23,669
THEY--THEY CRACK
RIGHT OPEN,
204
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,338
AND ANOTHER PERSON
SHOOTS OUT OF 'EM.
205
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,106
SHE'LL BE FINE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
206
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,975
JUST RELAX. HERE.
LOOK AT THE MENU,
SCRUFFY.
207
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,343
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
208
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,044
IS THE FOOD ANY GOOD?
209
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:35,248
I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE ONLY EATEN HERE
ABOUT 30 OR 40 TIMES.
210
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,651
HI, GUYS.
WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
211
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:41,120
UH...
212
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,423
WE'LL TAKE
A PAIR OF BEERS
213
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,493
AND, UM,
AN ORDER OF WINGS.
214
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,295
WHOA, WHOA. WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD ON.
215
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:50,730
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
THE WINGS FROM CHICKENS?
216
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,999
NO, NO, NO, DOUG.
THEY'RE ANGEL WINGS.
217
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,201
I'M SORRY, SIR.
I JUST HAVE TO ASK
A FEW QUESTIONS.
218
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,571
WELLESLEY, WHAT KIND
OF LIVES DID THESE CHICKENS HAVE
219
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,273
BEFORE THEY
WERE SLAUGHTERED?
220
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,275
OK, LISTEN.
THOSE CHICKENS
WEREN'T SLAUGHTERED.
221
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,011
THEIR WINGS WERE
JUST RIPPED OFF.
222
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,247
OK, NOW THEY'RE STILL
WALKING AROUND.
223
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:10,182
ONLY, NOW THEY GET
DISABILITY CHECKS
224
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,752
AND A CRAZY STORY TO
TELL THEIR FRIENDS, OK?
225
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,954
SO EVERYBODY WINS,
ALL RIGHT?
226
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,622
WE'LL TAKE
THE BEER AND WINGS,
227
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,824
AND WALK AWAY
BEFORE HE STARTS
TALKIN' AGAIN, PLEASE.
228
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,960
GOT IT.
229
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,161
I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND, SIR.
230
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:24,096
WHY DO YOU COME HERE
ALL THE TIME
231
00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:26,566
IF YOU OBVIOUSLY
DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FOOD?
232
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,035
OK.
233
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,972
LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR
FOR YOU.
234
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,473
UH, SARAH LAWRENCE,
CAN WE, UH,
235
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,443
GET, UH, SOME WATER,
PLEASE?
236
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,583
CLEAR?
237
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,651
ABUNDANTLY.
238
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,757
[COUGHING]
239
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:54,126
HEY, BABE.
HOW YOU FEELIN'?
240
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,762
BAD. I CAN'T WAIT
FOR DOUG TO GET BACK.
241
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:59,131
OH, I FEEL THAT WAY
ABOUT YOUR FATHER
242
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:01,100
WHEN I SEND HIM OUT
FOR VODKA.
243
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,703
WHAT'S THAT?
244
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,973
UH, IT'S A RUSSIAN
LIQUOR MADE
FROM POTATOES.
245
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,474
I'M GOING TO HIT YOU.
246
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:10,176
I'M SURE YOU ARE.
LISTEN, UH, SWEETIE,
247
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,911
THIS ALWAYS WORKS
WHEN YOU'RE SICK.
248
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,547
YOU TAKE
A LITTLE SWIG OF THIS
EVERY 15 MINUTES,
249
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:15,815
AND YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
250
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:18,184
MOM, THAT STUFF
IS 40% ALCOHOL.
251
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,252
I SAID
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
252
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:22,922
I REPEAT--WHAT IS THAT?
253
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,991
OH, THIS IS MY RESUME.
254
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,793
OH, IT'S A GOOD START.
255
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,929
I'M FINISHED.
256
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,097
LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.
257
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:33,366
YOU'VE GOT 6 YEARS
AS A BABY SITTER.
258
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,567
MM-HMM. YEAH.
259
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,335
THAT WAS
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
260
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:40,640
OK. AND THE ONLY THING
OTHER THAN THAT ON HERE
IS THE TRAVEL AGENCY.
261
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,675
WHAT DID YOU DO
IN BETWEEN?
262
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,543
THE NAVY.
263
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,315
ALLY, IT'S A JOKE.
264
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:50,883
YEAH, I KNOW. SORRY.
265
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,353
THE WHOLE "MY MOTHER'S
A WHORE" JOKE WENT
RIGHT OVER MY HEAD.
266
00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:56,222
[SIGHS] LET'S SEE.
IT SAYS HERE
267
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,391
THAT YOU SPEAK
A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
268
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,659
OH, I DO.
HERE. LISTEN.
269
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:00,893
[BRITISH ACCENT]
HELLO, GUVNER.
270
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,596
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME TEA AND CRUMPETS?
271
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:11,303
ENGLISH IS NOT
A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
272
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,606
OH. OK, ALL RIGHT.
273
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,242
I KNOW. I KNOW IT'S
NOT MUCH OF A RESUME.
274
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,944
I'M STILL HOPING
I CAN CHARM MY WAY IN
SOMEWHERE.
275
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,579
YOU KNOW, IT'S
A LITTLE BIT DAUNTING
276
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,949
LOOKING FOR A NEW
LINE OF WORK AT THIS
POINT IN MY LIFE.
277
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:28,120
I FEEL LIKE I'M THE ONLY
GIRL LEFT AT THE BAR
AT CLOSING TIME.
278
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,590
ISN'T THAT
HOW YOU MET DAD?
279
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,593
TWICE.
280
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,863
HEY, HOW ARE YOU
ON THE COMPUTER?
281
00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:41,801
WELL, WE ONLY DID IT
ON THE COMPUTER ONCE.
282
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,203
WE TRIED TO DO IT
A SECOND TIME.
283
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:46,305
I COULDN'T GET HIM
TO REBOOT.
284
00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:49,175
I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
285
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,342
I KNOW.
286
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:51,911
COMPUTER SKILLS
ARE IMPORTANT.
287
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:54,346
YEAH. YOU KNOW
WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT
THAN COMPUTER SKILLS?
288
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,248
PEOPLE SKILLS.
I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS.
289
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,284
YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.
290
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,219
YOU ARE GOING TO BE
JUST FINE.
291
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:02,121
ANYWHERE WOULD BE
LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.
292
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,322
OH, YOU'RE SWEET.
293
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,224
I TAKE AFTER YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
294
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:06,859
YEAH. OK.
295
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:13,165
SO, FEELIN' BETTER,
HUH, BABE?
296
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:15,267
YEAH. LOT BETTER.
297
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:17,670
THAT'S
MY LITTLE GIRL.
298
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,105
HOW'S MY BIG GIRL, HUH?
299
00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,807
IS SHE GETTIN' READY
FOR HER JOB HUNT?
300
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,943
YES, EDDIE,
AND I AM SO EXCITED.
301
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:26,879
THERE'S A WORLD
OF POSSIBILITIES
OUT THERE FOR ME.
302
00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:29,915
YEAH, AND THEY'RE
ALL BAD.
303
00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:31,550
VERTICAL INTEGRATION
HAS RESULTED
304
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:34,086
IN WHAT I LIKE
TO CALL "CORPTHINK."
305
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:35,821
OH, GOD.
NOT CORPTHINK AGAIN.
306
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,658
YEAH. I KNOW YOU ALL THINK
THIS IS SOME PYNCHONION,
PARANOID FANTASY,
307
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,560
BUT IT'S HAPPENIN',
ALLY, ALL RIGHT?
308
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:45,931
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
BILL GATES IS GONNA BE
RUNNIN' THE ENTIRE WORLD.
309
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:48,267
NOT ME.
IT'S NOT GONNA GET ME.
310
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:52,004
YEAH. I HAVE
A FEELING YOU'RE NOT
ON BILL GATES' RADAR.
311
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,939
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
312
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:56,041
I THINK BILL GATES
HAS RADAR.
313
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:57,810
I DON'T EVEN THINK
HE'S A HUMAN BEING.
314
00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:00,012
I THINK HE'S A CYBORG,
AND THEY JUST MADE HIM
315
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,881
LOOK LIKE A SOCK PUPPET
WITH GLASSES
316
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,849
SO THAT HE WON'T
SEEM THREATENING.
317
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,051
I LOVE BILL GATES.
318
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,186
ME, TOO.
319
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:10,222
I'D LET HIM
HAVE HIS WAY WITH ME...
320
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:14,026
AND THEN
I'D MAKE HIM PAY.
321
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,428
SEE, THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU ALL
WORSHIP MONEY. I DON'T.
322
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,297
YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY.
323
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:20,399
THE BOTH OF YOU,
YOU'RE LIKE 2 LITTLE
NAKED BIRDS
324
00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,067
SITTIN' IN A NEST.
"FEED ME."
325
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,270
[CHIRPING]
326
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:31,977
YEAH, YOU TWO
SHOULD THANK
YOUR LUCKY STARS
327
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,079
YOU GOT EDDIE
TWO-JOBS HERE.
328
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:35,881
HEH HEH.
HEY, I LIKE THAT.
329
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,283
EDDIE TWO-JOBS.
330
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:40,386
I'M LIKE THE MOST
RESPONSIBLE ITALIAN
IN THE WORLD.
331
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:44,089
HEY, LISTEN, I CAN'T
WHACK YOU RIGHT NOW.
332
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,926
WHY? I GOT 2 JOBS.
333
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:48,460
[LAUGHS]
334
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,963
BADA-BING, BADA-BOOM,
HUH?
335
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,167
WHY DON'T YOU ACT
LIKE A MAN
336
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:58,838
INSTEAD OF
SOME HOLLYWOOD-TYPE
OF MAMALUKE
337
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,139
WHO CRIES LIKE A WOMAN?
338
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:03,008
[DRAMATIC CRYING]
339
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:05,244
[BLOWS, BLOWS]
340
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:13,752
PRETTY SOON
WE'RE GONNA
BE A 3-JOB FAMILY,
341
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,421
'CAUSE I'M
GONNA GO OUT AND
GET MYSELF HIRED.
342
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,589
THERE YOU GO.
343
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,324
YOU SEE THAT?
THAT'S CONFIDENCE.
344
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,793
MM-HMM.
AND I'M FULL OF IT.
345
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:24,496
GOT MY RESUME.
I'M LOOKIN'
DAMN GOOD.
346
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,932
IT'S GONNA BE
A PIECE OF CAKE.
347
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:29,802
YEAH.
348
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:31,036
CHEERS.
349
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:33,005
SEINFELD.
350
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,145
HEY, HONEY.
351
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:41,680
HOW WAS THE JOB SEARCH?
352
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,249
THERE ARE
NO JOBS, EDDIE.
353
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,150
THERE IS NO NOTHING
ANYMORE.
354
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:46,919
THE ECONOMY
IS A DISASTER.
355
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:49,421
THE END IS NEAR.
ON THE WAY HOME,
356
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,924
I SAW THE 4 HORSEMEN
OF THE APOCALYPSE.
357
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:54,293
THEY'RE LOOKING
FOR WORK, TOO.
358
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,594
THEIR HORSES
ARE VERY SKINNY.
359
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,596
AND THEN YOU KNOW
WHO I SAW?
360
00:14:57,696 --> 00:15:00,132
I SAW DEATH.
DEATH IS NEAR DEATH.
361
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,102
IT'S HOPELESS.
362
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:05,070
COME ON, NOW, JOY.
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
363
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,972
NO, IT IS BAD.
IT IS BAD, EDDIE, OK?
364
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,108
I GOT TURNED DOWN
EVERYWHERE I WENT.
365
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,310
I GOT TURNED DOWN
AS A MANICURIST,
366
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,680
LARGELY BECAUSE
RICHARD NIXON
BAILED ON VIETNAM.
367
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:17,783
I--I GOT TURNED DOWN
AT A HAIR EXTENSION KIOSK,
368
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:21,086
AND I'VE GOT FANTASTIC
HAIR THAT LOOKS FAKE.
369
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:22,721
SHALL I GO ON?
370
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,924
UH, YES. I'M KIND OF
ENJOYING THIS.
371
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:26,592
OK, HERE WE GO.
372
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,595
I COULDN'T GET A JOB
AS A TEST SUBJECT FOR
BLADDER MEDICATION.
373
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:31,230
I COULDN'T GET A JOB
374
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:36,135
EXPRESSING
CANINE ANAL GLANDS
AT A VETERINARIAN.
375
00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:37,603
I WENT TO GOOGLE,
376
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,906
AND THEY SAID
KEEP SEARCHING.
377
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:44,009
HOWEVER, HOWEVER, I DID
THEN GET HIRED FINALLY.
378
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,978
I GOT A JOB
AS A WINE TASTER,
379
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:49,682
BUT THEY FIRED ME
BECAUSE I WOULDN'T SPIT,
I SWALLOWED.
380
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,520
WELL, OLD HABITS DIE HARD.
381
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,992
ALL RIGHT,
WELL, THAT WAS--
THAT WAS MY DAY.
382
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,593
HOW WAS YOUR DAY, DEAR?
383
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:05,064
WELL, I WENT
TO AMPLE D's...
384
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,166
THE BREASTAURANT.
385
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,268
IT WAS GREAT.
386
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:11,904
OH. GLAD I COULD COUNT
ON YOU FOR SUPPORT.
387
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,206
RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT
YOU MENTION IT,
388
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,842
WHY DO YOU GO
TO AMPLE D's?
389
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:18,711
THE REASON I GO
TO AMPLE D's
390
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,046
IS BECAUSE IT'S A REFUGE.
391
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,848
IT'S A SANCTUARY.
392
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:27,686
IT'S A BIG KNOCKER ZOO.
393
00:16:27,786 --> 00:16:31,957
HAVEN'T I BEEN
PROVIDING THAT FOR YOU
FOR 23 YEARS?
394
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,425
YES, YOU SEE, BUT...
395
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:37,262
YOUR BREASTS
ARE ATTACHED TO YOU.
396
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,298
NOW, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
HOLD ON.
397
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:41,500
NOW, I LOVE THEM,
AND I LOVE YOU,
398
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,137
BUT SOMETIMES IT'S FUN
TO JUST GO SEE SOME...
399
00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:49,541
FRESH CLEAVAGE POINTING DOWN
AT A PLATE OF JALAPEÑO POPPERS.
400
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,911
HOLD ON.
BACK UP, OK?
401
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,147
DID YOU JUST SAY
THAT YOU LOVE ME?
402
00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:57,049
YES. OF COURSE.
I LOVE YOU.
403
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,984
FINALLY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
404
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:02,221
I HAVE BEEN FISHING
FOR AN "I LOVE YOU"
FOR 3 DAYS NOW,
405
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,556
AND ALL YOU GIVE ME
IS "YEAH, OK."
406
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:06,191
YEAH, BUT SEE, "YEAH, OK"
407
00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:07,993
IS EDDIE SPEAK
FOR "I LOVE YOU."
408
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,495
IT'S CODE.
409
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:13,399
IT'S LIKE WHEN I PUSH
ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD.
410
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:19,772
IT'S JUST NICE TO HEAR
THE WORDS NOW AND AGAIN,
YOU KNOW.
411
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,708
BABY, I LOVE YOU.
412
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,011
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
413
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,216
SO, DO YOU NEED
ANYTHING FROM THE STORE?
414
00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:33,585
UH, NO. I'M GOOD.
415
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,292
ARE--ARE YOU SURE?
416
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,861
BECAUSE I--I CAN GET YOU
ANY--ANYTHING YOU NEED.
417
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:46,965
UH, NO. I MEAN, LIKE,
I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE
TO WALK ALL OVER TOWN.
418
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:50,269
NO, THAT'S OK, BECAUSE,
UH, YOUR--YOUR DAD'LL
GIVE ME A RIDE.
419
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,471
YOU ACTUALLY WANNA
SPEND TIME WITH MY FATHER?
420
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,274
OH, HE'S A--
A FASCINATING MAN.
421
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:58,844
HE, UH--KEEPS ABREAST...
422
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:01,747
OF CURRENT EVENTS.
423
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,585
OK. WELL, I MEAN,
THE ONLY THING THAT I COULD USE
424
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:08,587
IS SOMETHING YOU'RE
NOT GONNA WANNA GET.
425
00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:10,622
TAMPONS--EASY GLIDE,
HEAVY FLOW?
426
00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:11,824
YEAH.
427
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,725
COMIN' RIGHT UP.
428
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,330
SO, YOU GONNA ORDER
SOMETHING THIS TIME?
429
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,999
NO, SIR. I'M STRICTLY HERE
FOR THE HEALING PURPOSES
430
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,902
OF THE WATER-POURING
CEREMONY.
431
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:26,105
OHH. BOY,
I HOPE THEY HURRY UP.
432
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:30,142
I REALLY GOTTA GO
TO THE BATHROOM, BUT I DON'T
WANNA MISS A DROP.
433
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:35,214
OK, I'M GONNA GO
WITH THE, UH...
434
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:38,984
HAMELA ANDERSON SANDWICH
AND A BEER.
435
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:42,321
HELLO, JOY.
436
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:54,366
I GOT A JOB.
437
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,934
YEAH.
438
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,570
SO I SEE.
439
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,939
YOU KNOW, IT'S THE
CRAZY THING, TOO.
440
00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:03,709
THEY DIDN'T EVEN
LOOK AT MY RESUME.
441
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:09,114
BELIEVE ME, THEY LOOKED
AT BOTH OF 'EM.
442
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,984
HERE, DOUG. LET ME
POUR YOU SOME WATER.
443
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,786
NO. NO, NO, NO.
I, UH--
444
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:19,124
I, UH, REALLY NEED
TO GO GET SOME TAMPONS.
445
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,395
I'M NOT EVEN GONNA ASK.
446
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:25,297
WELL, I HAVE TO
HAND IT TO YOU, JOY.
447
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:28,200
ONLY YOU
CAN RUIN AMPLE D's.
448
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:30,135
WELL, LOOK AT
THE BRIGHT SIDE, EDDIE.
449
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,204
I MEAN, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD A SHOT
450
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,606
AT GOING HOME
WITH A WAITRESS
FROM AMPLE D's, HUH?
451
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:36,141
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
452
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,676
CONGRATULATIONS
TO BOTH OF US.
453
00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:40,012
OR, UH, ALL 4 OF US,
ACTUALLY.
454
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,814
LISTEN, EDDIE,
I THINK THAT THIS
IS A GOOD JOB FOR ME.
455
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:46,552
I HAVE THE PERFECT
COMBINATION OF HIGH
AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM
456
00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:49,054
TO MAKE A KILLING
IN THIS PLACE.
457
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:50,255
EXCUSE ME, DeVRY.
458
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:51,890
STOP FRATERNIZING
WITH THE CUSTOMERS.
459
00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:53,458
AND HOIST UP YOUR GIRLS.
460
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,528
LET'S ACT LIKE WE CARE.
461
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,263
MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
462
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,499
I--I THOUGHT YOU WERE
WORKIN' AT THE SUB SHOP.
463
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:02,301
THEY SAID I WAS BAD
WITH THE CUSTOMERS.
464
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:05,237
YEAH. YOU KNOW,
I SEE YOU OVER THERE.
YOU CAN STOP WAVING.
465
00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:06,905
WE'RE NOT
IN A DAMN PARADE.
466
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,641
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
GET A LOOK.
467
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:11,343
STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU'RE
WATCHING THE GAME.
468
00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:13,745
JUST LOOK AT 'EM.
LOOK AT 'EM.
469
00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:18,517
YOU PATHETIC LOSERS.
470
00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:20,619
YOU KNOW,
YOU MIGHT WANNA
471
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,288
ICE THOSE PUPPIES UP
A LITTLE.
472
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,224
WELL, IT'S NICE
TO SEE THAT EVERYBODY
473
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:27,659
FROM THE TRAVEL AGENCY
LANDED ON THEIR FEET,
474
00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:29,962
AND WHEN I SAY, "FEET,"
I MEAN--
475
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,797
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
476
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,232
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU,
JOY-JOY.
477
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:34,499
I LOVE YOU.
478
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,867
YEAH, OK.
479
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,872
HEY. HOW WAS WORK?
480
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,041
I GOT FIRED.
481
00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:44,676
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?
482
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:46,912
THEY SWITCHED
TO THE SUMMER
UNIFORMS.
483
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:48,146
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
484
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,348
I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT.
485
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,616
ARE THE SUMMER UNIFORMS
SLEEVELESS?
486
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:52,985
I SAID I DON'T
WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!
487
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,424
{\an8}UH, WELLESLEY,
488
00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:02,060
{\an8}UH, WHAT KIND
OF CHICKENS, UH--
489
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,395
{\an8}HEH HEH. WHAT--
490
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:06,098
{\an8}SORRY. MY BAD.
491
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,470
{\an8}THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
492
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:13,138
{\an8}I'M SORRY.
493
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:15,507
{\an8}ALL RIGHT.
LET ME SEE.
494
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:18,977
{\an8}I'M GONNA GO
WITH THE, UH...
495
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:21,313
{\an8}[LAUGHTER]
38413
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