Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,235 --> 00:00:04,637
I want to get married
five times.
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,907
I wanna get married 'cause
I want a bachelor party.
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,444
I'll get married
as long as my wife is
not in my business.
4
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:12,846
♪ All right!
5
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,848
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! ♪
6
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:22,856
{\an8}Okay, okay. Mmm!
7
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:25,859
{\an8}Hey, Eddie,
hey, man, what...
8
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,527
{\an8}Will you scratch my back?
9
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,096
{\an8}Uh...
10
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:32,232
{\an8}No.
11
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,134
{\an8}Why not?
12
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,870
{\an8}Because guys don't
scratch other guys' backs.
13
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,471
{\an8}It crosses the line.
14
00:00:38,571 --> 00:00:40,540
{\an8}What line?
15
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,076
{\an8}The "my fingers
touching your body" line.
16
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,446
{\an8}Come on, man,
there's nobody here.
17
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,882
{\an8}Nobody'll see.
Just right here.
Well, I'll see.
18
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,250
{\an8}And I'll know I did it,
19
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:53,019
{\an8}and I'm just not ready to deal
with those kind of feelings.
20
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,854
{\an8}(DOOR OPENS)
21
00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:56,389
{\an8}What's up, fellas?
22
00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:58,391
{\an8}Woodcock, would you
scratch my back?
23
00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:00,527
{\an8}I'd love to.
All right.
24
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,263
{\an8}Mmm?
Oh...
25
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,365
{\an8}Yeah? How's that
working for you?
26
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,433
{\an8}Oh, yeah.
27
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,600
{\an8}You want the double claw?
28
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,235
{\an8}Oh, please.
JEFF: Yeah?
29
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,238
{\an8}Whoo! Okay, okay,
you got it!
30
00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:14,507
{\an8}All right, okay,
you got it!
31
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,976
{\an8}I'm good.
No means no.
32
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,849
{\an8}You know what?
I'm out of here.
33
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,084
{\an8}What? Why?
34
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,453
{\an8}'Cause of him?
I'll kick him out.
35
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:29,456
{\an8}No, my six-year-old
is graduating
to yellow belt today.
36
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,958
{\an8}You know,
I thought karate would
teach him discipline.
37
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:34,828
{\an8}But all he wants to do
is kick his brother
in the ding-ding.
38
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,430
{\an8}See you on Sunday?
All right.
39
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:39,165
{\an8}Think about
where you wanna take
the wives for dinner.
40
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,167
{\an8}You got it.
You guys having dinner
on Sunday night?
41
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,339
{\an8}Why don't you come over
to my place?
42
00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:49,075
{\an8}You know,
I'll be honest.
43
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,177
{\an8}He has a real problem
with white people.
44
00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:59,018
Come on. Steph and I,
we've been dying
to have a dinner party
45
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,453
since we moved in.
46
00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:03,289
We could use
our Brady Bunch placemats.
47
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:07,060
There's six of us,
we could be all the kids.
48
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,828
Now how fun
does that sound?
49
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,998
Wow.
50
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:13,600
Ah, you jokester.
51
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,101
I'll see you Sunday.
52
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,003
Think of which Brady
you want to eat off of.
53
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:18,271
I call Bobby!
54
00:02:27,413 --> 00:02:31,417
So, there I am.
I'm wearing only a poncho
and some swim-fins,
55
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,820
60 miles from
the nearest payphone.
56
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,889
The guy looks at me
straight in the eye,
57
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,490
and he screams, "Hibachi!"
58
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,293
(STEPH LAUGHING)
59
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:45,732
Hilarious, right?
60
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,135
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
61
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,806
Hilarious.
My face hurts from
laughing so much.
62
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,542
I just can't
do it anymore.
63
00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:59,746
I don't understand.
So the guy in the van
was a pirate?
64
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,415
Honey, honey, honey. Shh!
65
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,652
Please, we don't want
Jeffrey to tell that
whole thing again.
66
00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:17,130
Oh!
67
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,065
Has anybody seen
that new documentary
68
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:21,467
about the wild dogs
of Antigua? Huh?
69
00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,403
(LAUGHING)
70
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,674
Oh, I'm sorry,
is that real?
71
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,347
Hey, I have an idea.
72
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,649
Have you guys heard
of the book of questions?
73
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:38,551
Oh, is that
the fourth Harry Potter?
74
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:42,956
No, that's
the Goblet of Fire.
75
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,526
It's okay. It's okay.
76
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,864
The book of questions is,
77
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,200
"An invitation
for people to explore
78
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:58,371
"the most fascinating
of subjects... Themselves."
79
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,276
Okay, if this party's
about to get naked,
I'm out.
80
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,411
Okay.
81
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:07,847
Hey, you,
don't do that,
look at me.
82
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,482
You're beautiful.
83
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,687
You got nothing
to worry about.
84
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,990
The only thing
getting exposed tonight
85
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,891
are your innermost feelings.
86
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:22,028
Okay, now
the first one is,
87
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:25,064
if you could hear
your lover's thoughts,
88
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,333
would you want to?
89
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:29,736
You know,
I'm not feeling well.
90
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,137
Yeah...
I...
91
00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:32,538
COFELD: What?
I got...
92
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,474
Where are you going?
You can't leave.
93
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,876
I have a thing in my ear
and my throat, dripping.
94
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:38,111
What's in your throat?
95
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,646
I can't... We've gotta...
Steph, stew...
96
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,414
Fantastic.
Goodbye.
97
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,294
Hey, how's it going?
98
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,296
Good, good.
99
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,332
Listen, Eddie and I
feel really badly
about ditching you
100
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,100
at the Woodcock's
last night.
101
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,703
That's okay, Joy.
We actually had
a really good time.
102
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,805
Really?
103
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,640
After you left,
we really connected.
104
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:09,976
Now that's funny.
105
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,646
Hey, let me
ask you something,
106
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:15,515
{\an5}and you can tell me
if this is weird in any way.
Shoot.
107
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:17,784
We're gonna
go mountain biking
with Jeff and Steph,
108
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,819
and I wanted
to ask you first
109
00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:21,321
because I know
they're your friends,
110
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,622
and I didn't want
to go behind your back.
111
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:23,623
Is that cool?
112
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,758
Absolutely.
Go have fun.
113
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:27,093
We have no claim
over them.
114
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:29,162
It's not like
we're going steady.
115
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:32,131
They're free
to play the field,
sleep around.
116
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,567
(PHONE RINGING)
117
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,202
Cheltenham Travel.
118
00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:38,304
Oh, hey, Steph, what's up?
119
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,674
Oh, sure.
120
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,876
Steph. For you.
121
00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:45,478
Really?
Really.
122
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:49,015
Hey, girlfriend...
123
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:51,551
Oh, yes, we did, too.
124
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:54,554
Yeah, it was kind of sexy
seeing our husbands cry.
125
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,491
(LAUGHING)
126
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,769
Eddie! Hey.
127
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,604
What you eating?
Pop-Tart sandwich.
128
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,007
What is that?
129
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,543
It's a Pop-Tart
in the middle of
two frosted Pop-Tarts.
130
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:22,215
It's the most
magnificent thing
I ever had in my life.
131
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:24,784
What's up with you?
132
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,886
Well, I had
a rather interesting day
133
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,321
at work today.
134
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,156
Turns out that the Cofelds
had a good time
135
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:31,858
with the Woodcocks
after we left.
136
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,393
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
137
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,429
And they're going
mountain biking together.
138
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,097
But the Woodcocks
usually ask us
139
00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:39,632
to go mountain biking
with them.
140
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,800
I know.
141
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,803
(BOTH WHOOPING)
142
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,738
(LAUGHING)
143
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,373
(SCATTING)
144
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,444
Whoa!
145
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:53,413
They finally have
some new friends.
146
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:54,814
Maybe now they'll
leave us alone.
147
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,482
Oh, God, do you know
what this means?
148
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,518
They're not going
to be breathing
down our necks anymore.
149
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,019
I can leave the lights
on in the living room.
150
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:01,587
We can use
the front door.
151
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,590
I could cook
naked again!
152
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,592
Or not.
153
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,829
Sorry. Oh, this is fantastic!
154
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,498
The only thing I'll have to
endure is that 15-minute
ride to school
155
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:15,501
with Jeff and his adult
contemporary mix tape.
156
00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:19,739
Oh, God, I love you.
157
00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:21,607
(MOANING)
158
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,450
Okay. You know what?
On the counter,
on the counter.
159
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,219
No, no, on the table,
the table's larger.
160
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:34,554
No, the bed.
161
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:35,822
Okay, let's go to the bed.
162
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,690
Let's go to the bed.
Oh, God.
163
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:40,426
EDDIE: Wait a minute.
164
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,635
Oh, yeah.
165
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:51,571
(EXCLAIMS)
166
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,372
If that itch is flaky,
tuck in your shirt.
167
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,874
I got enough crap
on my couch.
168
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:05,284
You want
to order a pizza?
169
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:08,488
Oh, no, I had a late lunch
with Jeff today.
170
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,890
So you seem
to be hanging out
a lot lately, huh?
171
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,992
Yeah, yeah, you know,
he's really a good guy.
172
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:14,393
We have some
great conversations.
173
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,895
He's very insightful.
174
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,196
Oh, I wouldn't know.
175
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,832
His voice usually triggers
a humming sound in my head.
176
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,003
So, how is he?
177
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:25,671
I haven't
seen him in a while.
Is he all right?
178
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:28,007
He's good, man. He's good.
He just got a new haircut.
179
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:30,009
Oh?
180
00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:31,811
Yeah. It's a little
shorter than usual,
181
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:34,514
but with his bone structure,
he pulls it off.
182
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:36,782
Yeah, he's got
those high cheekbones
183
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:38,951
and pretty features
like a China Doll.
184
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:41,821
What?
Nothing.
185
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,792
(NEW AGE MUSIC PLAYING
ON SCREEN)
186
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,897
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
187
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,165
Come in.
188
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,035
Where is he? I've been
waiting out in the car
for 15 minutes.
189
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:57,303
Come on, Jeffrey,
we're late.
190
00:08:57,403 --> 00:09:00,439
You can put
your makeup on
in the car.
191
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,108
I'm sorry.
You didn't get
Jeff's message?
192
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,943
He and Cofeld
are working out
in the mornings now.
193
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,212
So he doesn't need
to car pool with you anymore.
194
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:07,914
Oh, that's good.
195
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:11,083
Great, Jeff and Cofeld
working out together, huh?
196
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,952
There's a shower
I'm happy to skip.
197
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:17,356
All right, let's, uh,
keep it PG, huh?
198
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,980
(CATS IN THE CRADLE PLAYING)
199
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,450
♪ The cat's in the cradle
and the silver bell
200
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,420
♪ Little Boy Blue
and the man in the shoes
201
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,489
♪ When you comin' home, Dan
202
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,259
♪ I don't know, Dan
203
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:56,963
♪ We'll get together, Dan,
yeah
204
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:59,832
♪ You know we'll have
a good time, Dan ♪
205
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,711
What are you doing? Staring
into the Woodcocks' house?
206
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:14,747
No. No.
I mean, uh, it's weird.
207
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:16,515
They went out for yogurt,
like, an hour ago,
208
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,917
and they're not back.
209
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,553
Well, you don't
miss them, do you?
210
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:22,254
Miss them? No.
211
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,924
Oh, good, good.
Me neither, me neither.
212
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,527
It is odd though.
213
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,830
You know, they always
used to ask us to go
have yogurt with them.
214
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:33,899
And we usually say "no"
because yogurt's gross.
215
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,801
But...
216
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:37,269
{\an5}It's still nice to be asked.
Am I right?
Right.
217
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,971
I mean, you know,
what does it take to...
218
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,043
Oh, my God,
I miss them so much.
219
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,480
{\an5}Me, too.
What the hell
is going on?
220
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,348
I don't know.
I mean,
221
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:51,283
the Woodcocks
annoy us, right?
222
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,053
Totally. They're always
up in our face. It's just...
223
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,124
I miss Jeff's smile.
224
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,427
How did this happen?
225
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:04,430
You know what, the other night
I actually tried
to imagine his face,
226
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:05,498
and I couldn't.
227
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,133
The closest I got
was K.D. Lang.
228
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,571
You know what?
You know what this is like?
229
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,007
This is like this guy
in high school
230
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:17,043
that I never even
looked twice at,
231
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,211
and then he got a girlfriend,
and I just had to have him.
232
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:20,613
And, of course,
you know,
233
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:21,981
he married her,
and he got rich,
234
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,249
and I missed out
on what could've been
235
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,017
a wonderful
and exciting life.
236
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,191
I mean,
not as good as this.
237
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,897
{\an5}Hey, here they come.
Here they come.
Where?
238
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,765
Oh, look at them
walking in,
239
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,368
still crazy
from their yogurt high.
240
00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:44,870
What are we gonna do?
241
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,105
Let's call them.
242
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,440
It's a good idea.
243
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,642
Gonna call them
on the phone,
and see what...
244
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:50,876
(EXHALES)
245
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,678
I can't believe it.
I got butterflies.
246
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,482
(PHONE RINGS)
247
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,118
Hello?
248
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,053
Yes, Jeffrey Woodcock,
please?
249
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,724
Yeah, Eddie, it's me.
What's going on?
250
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:07,359
Oh, hey, hi,
uh, you know,
251
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,161
Joy and I were
just wondering
252
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:12,198
if you and your lovely wife
wanna go out Saturday.
253
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:15,301
Maybe, uh,
cocktails? Dinner?
254
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,469
Or dancing?
255
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,003
Please,
don't say dancing.
256
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,540
Uh, yeah, let me, uh...
257
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,609
Let me check with Steph.
258
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:26,278
It's Eddie.
They want to go out
Saturday night.
259
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,581
We have the Cofelds
Saturday.
260
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:29,849
So what do I tell them?
261
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,551
Just tell them
we have plans.
262
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,287
Uh, Eddie,
we have plans.
263
00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:37,156
Oh, okay.
264
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,091
{\an5}They got plans.
Ask them
what they're doing?
265
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:41,360
{\an5}I think that's
a little forward.
Just ask them.
266
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,732
What are you, uh...
What are you doing?
267
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,467
Uh...
268
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,236
They wanna know
what we're doing.
269
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:51,403
Make something up.
270
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,905
You know
I don't like to lie.
271
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:54,240
Okay, give me the phone,
and I'll do it.
272
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,741
I'll lie about anything.
273
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,683
Oh. I see.
274
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,485
Okay, maybe, um...
275
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:07,953
Maybe some
other time then.
276
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:09,955
Right.
277
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,093
They're going
to Mexico.
278
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:17,229
What?
279
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,799
Mexico?
I panicked!
280
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,066
This is why
I don't like to lie.
281
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,002
I don't like
sneaking around.
282
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:25,905
Look, I'm getting that
nervous rash on my belly.
283
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:29,175
Jeff, trust me,
this is the best way.
284
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,511
I've been
through this kind
of situation before.
285
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:35,815
In college, I was
dating these two guys
at the same time.
286
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:37,783
I felt horrible
about it.
287
00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:40,085
One of them was,
like, intellectual
288
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:43,122
and athletic
and super sexual.
289
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,758
And the other one
was, like, artistic
290
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,060
and spiritual and...
291
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,596
Super sexual.
292
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:55,701
Are you getting
to a point?
293
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,837
The point is, I felt
so guilty about it,
294
00:13:57,937 --> 00:13:59,305
I told them
about each other.
295
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,640
They both got angry
and broke up with me.
296
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:05,110
Had I not said anything,
I would've been able
to keep both lovers.
297
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:10,783
Okay, that story
298
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:14,520
barely has anything
to do with this.
299
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,655
It's unrelated,
and it's hurtful.
300
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:25,865
Okay, I'll take
the, uh, Milk Duds
301
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,633
and the Red Vines.
302
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:29,668
And the Goobers.
303
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,306
And what, exactly,
are Fudgey Friends?
304
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:36,942
I don't know, sir.
305
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,111
Okay, I'll take
two of those.
306
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:44,416
COFELD: Oh, my God,
but I never knew they had
307
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:46,318
dogs in Antigua.
I know.
308
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,257
Well, well, well,
what have we here?
309
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:53,292
Hello, Jeffrey,
Stephanie.
310
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,329
Or should I say,
"Buenos noches"?
311
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,674
Well, isn't this
a kick in the Chicklets?
312
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:13,112
I told you they weren't
going to Mexico.
313
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:15,247
Fool me once,
shame on...
314
00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:17,683
What is it?
315
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,653
Eddie, Eddie, look,
I can explain...
316
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,454
See, in college,
I had these two lovers...
317
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:24,657
Steph!
318
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:25,624
I don't see
what the problem is.
319
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,359
You guys said
they were boring.
320
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,295
Oh, I did not say that.
321
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:31,864
Actually, last week,
when I was telling you
about my master's thesis,
322
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,132
you said, "Boring,"
323
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:35,701
and did this little dance
with your hands.
324
00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:37,703
That does kind of
sound like you, kiddo.
325
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:42,074
Well, that doesn't
justify you lying to us.
326
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,909
Does anybody hear
my car alarm?
327
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:48,213
Whoa, hey,
come on, guys.
Don't leave.
328
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,918
Can I just say
something out loud
that we all know?
329
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:54,887
You guys don't like us.
330
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:56,388
You're actually
pretty mean to us
most of the time.
331
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,390
Oh, that's crazy.
No, it's not.
332
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,225
When we call
to ask you out,
you don't pick up.
333
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:01,794
We know you're home.
334
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,262
We've seen you
through the window
cooking naked.
335
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,632
Okay, look,
so we lied to you.
336
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:09,668
So we wanted
to spend an evening
with the Cofelds alone.
337
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:10,903
You know,
we actually made friends
338
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,072
who enjoy spending time
with us,
339
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,773
who make an effort
to get know us,
340
00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:17,576
you know,
and connect with us
on a pretty deep level.
341
00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:19,611
We can be deep.
Can't we, honey?
342
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:24,149
Deep?
Freakin' "A" right deep.
343
00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:28,721
No, the point is
we actually enjoy
each other's company.
344
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,056
And you wouldn't have
wanted to come
to this movie anyway.
345
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,192
When I mentioned
this documentary,
you laughed at me.
346
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,728
I wasn't laughing at you.
347
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,797
It's just...
I like being around
you guys so much,
348
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:41,800
that I--I--I get nervous,
so I giggle.
349
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,169
Eddie, hey,
come on, man,
350
00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:46,438
we're different people
with different interests.
351
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:48,741
You know,
we're not a great fit.
It's okay.
352
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,242
I... That is not true.
353
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,578
We are interested
in the same stuff
you're interested in.
354
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,513
Look, I'll tell you what.
Let's go out tomorrow
355
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:57,416
and pick whatever
you want to do,
and we'll do it, too.
356
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:58,751
It's Sunday.
357
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,285
We're going to church.
358
00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:02,988
Are you serious?
359
00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:08,060
(ORGAN PLAYING)
360
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,404
Well, I...
Think it's fair to say
we're slightly over-dressed.
361
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,574
We look like
Mr. and Mrs. Matlock.
362
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:27,346
Well, do you see them?
363
00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:30,115
There. Right there.
364
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,718
Hello, good morning,
uh, yes, party of two.
365
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:35,487
And we would love
something down front.
366
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:38,424
I'm sorry.
The only remaining seats
are in the back.
367
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:42,094
All right,
I get how this works.
368
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,963
Thank you.
That's very generous.
369
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,899
Hey. What just
happened to my five?
370
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:49,835
Let's just sit down.
371
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,543
Jeffrey!
372
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:58,777
Jeff!
373
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,413
Steph!
374
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,716
They can't hear us.
375
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,886
We can't compete
with that crazy organ.
376
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,590
Good morning.
377
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:14,560
Before we begin,
why don't we take
this opportunity
378
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,728
to turn to our neighbors
and let them know
379
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:20,032
how happy we are
to celebrate
with them today.
380
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,967
Oh, I'm so sorry.
381
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:25,070
I have no peripheral vision
in my, um, hat.
382
00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,774
Your friendship
is a blessing.
383
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:31,743
You're my dog.
384
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:35,347
Look at that.
They're practically
making out.
385
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,716
I should be the meat
in that man sandwich.
386
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:42,121
In today's gospel,
we'll be reminded
387
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:45,424
that Jesus often spent time
with society's outcasts.
388
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:47,659
Prostitutes, lepers,
389
00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:51,830
people unwanted by others
but accepted totally by him.
390
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,299
Which raises the question,
391
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:57,269
is there someone
in your life
whom you've rejected,
392
00:18:57,369 --> 00:19:00,472
without making the effort
to find out the special traits
393
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:02,074
God has bestowed on him?
394
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,410
There's someone
in my life.
395
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,248
Eddie, that's
a rhetorical question.
396
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:11,984
No, no,
I have to do this.
397
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,353
Please forgive me,
398
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:18,157
because I don't know all
of your traditions, priest,
399
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:21,126
as I am a Hebrew.
400
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:26,365
But one thing I do know
is I have sinned.
401
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,835
I have refused
to associate
402
00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:33,238
with the outcasts
in my life.
403
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,207
Would you two
please stand?
404
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,743
Stand? Stand up.
Will you... No?
405
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:38,777
Okay. Good.
406
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:41,813
Jeff and Steph Woodcock
are my
407
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,783
leper and prostitute.
408
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:54,293
And until recently,
my wife and I have taken
409
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:56,595
their friendship for granted.
410
00:19:56,695 --> 00:20:00,799
While at the same time,
they have totally accepted
who we are.
411
00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:04,369
And God knows
that that's not
an easy thing.
412
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:07,873
So, Joy and I just want
you both to know
413
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,875
that we value
your friendship
414
00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:13,812
and sincerely hope
that you can forgive us
415
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:18,450
for not accepting you
in the same spirit
416
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,753
as you have accepted us.
417
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,822
And we're sorry.
418
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:25,324
Come here.
419
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,192
(GRUNTS)
420
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,863
Could we switch seats?
421
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,733
I'm having a little moment
with my friends here.
422
00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:37,369
Could we... No? Okay.
423
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,770
All right.
424
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:41,473
Why don't you just
stay put?
425
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,141
Okay. Um...
426
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,611
And you, fantastic,
with the...
427
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:50,882
{\an8}♪
428
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:50,916
{\an8}♪ H
429
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:50,949
{\an8}♪ Hey
430
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:50,983
{\an8}♪ Hey,
431
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:51,016
{\an8}♪ Hey, he
432
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:51,049
{\an8}♪ Hey, hey
433
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,852
♪ Ooh! ♪
434
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:07,499
{\an8}Hey, man.
Hey.
435
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:12,070
{\an8}You want me
to scratch your back?
436
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,609
{\an8}Double claw me,
but don't tell anyone.
437
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:21,947
{\an8}(GRUNTING)
438
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,884
{\an8}Hey, how about
you do me after?
33406
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese