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1
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:15,015
- All right, everybody!
2
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,600
Who's ready for
"Billy & 2 Scoops?"
3
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,623
- Stand by for first team.
4
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,405
- I don't get it.
5
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,282
The show has always
been called "2 Scoops."
6
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,909
They can't just add Billy
to the title for no reason.
7
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,412
- Marcus, honey, they
have a great reason.
8
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:41,124
Everyone loves Billy!
- I know I do.
9
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,500
- But I'm the lead. So what?
10
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,478
Billy gets a few laughs.
Now, he's the next Urkel?
11
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,547
I mean, even Billy's fanclub
is twice the size of mine.
12
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,924
- Well, he's twice as funny.
13
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,510
- Stop it. Your dad is so bad.
14
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,554
- Well, at least
he's not my real dad.
15
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,559
- You know, you should thank
your lucky stars for that.
16
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,353
Hmm?
17
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,747
You'd still be
living in a taxi cab
18
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,775
if your unhinged father
didn't go to jail.
19
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,985
Go, take your mark.
20
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:09,837
- All right.
21
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,905
We're gettin' ready to go.
22
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,784
- All right, gang,
23
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,535
we've got a great
show for you today.
24
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,454
We hope you all...
25
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:27,837
- Okay, here we go.
Ready, three, two, one.
26
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,888
- Mmm.
- Lenny Scoops, you slow down!
27
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,599
You'll hurt your tummy.
28
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,518
- Oh, yeah?
29
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,646
Tell that to my sweet tooth!
30
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,112
- We have to open
the ice cream store.
31
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:56,741
I wonder what's
taking Billy so long?
32
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,083
- He's so cute!
33
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:12,132
- Marcus!
34
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,762
Marcus, it's your line.
35
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,353
Oh!
36
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,237
- Oh, my fucking
God! Holy shit!
37
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,657
- Who's a good boy now, Billy?
38
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,788
- God! Oh, shit!
39
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:50,879
Line?
40
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:03,350
- Hello?
41
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,394
Anybody in there?
42
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,105
How the hell am I supposed
to pick up this package?
43
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,273
- Cross the moat.
44
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,941
- Hell no! You go.
45
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,651
- Uh, that water
is gross as fuck.
46
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,820
I'm not swimming in
that toilet river.
47
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,951
- This doesn't make any sense.
48
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,370
- I'm gonna throw a rock at it.
49
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,538
- Oh, great idea, genius.
50
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:36,883
Don't you say it.
51
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,593
Um...
- Oh!
52
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,012
- Right here.
- I... I told you so.
53
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,605
- This way.
54
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,650
- The fuck? Where
are you goin'?
55
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,568
- You heard the creepy
disembodied voice.
56
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,488
"This way." Come on, coward.
57
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,115
- Getting warmer.
58
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,284
- Now he's giggling.
59
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,720
I can't believe
you're enjoying this.
60
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,746
- Oh, come on. It's
like a haunted house.
61
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,791
The smoke, the creepy
lighting. I'm half expecting
62
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,419
a vampire to just pop out
of the smoke and say...
63
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,420
- Hello.
64
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,338
- God... Oh, my God.
65
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,382
You got me, man.
66
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,134
Oh, please tell me
you live down here.
67
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,388
- Oh, no.
I don't live down here.
68
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,931
- Twist!
69
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,283
- I don't have time
for this tomfoolery.
70
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,726
Show yourself.
71
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,520
- Why would I reveal my face?
72
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:34,024
You see, there's
power in anonymity.
73
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,817
- Wait a minute.
74
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,194
Are you Calypso?
75
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,696
- What?
76
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:42,282
- I read that name everywhere.
"Believe in Calypso."
77
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,744
"Calypso is real."
- Yeah! Are you him?
78
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,581
- I guess that means yes.
- Huh.
79
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,794
- Secret compartment. Choice.
80
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,482
- Hey, Calypso, I
usually get a supply bump
81
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,468
when picking up deliveries.
We need gas, man.
82
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,237
- The package
is what you've earned.
83
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:07,599
No more, no less,
no free handouts.
84
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,309
- Well, can we at least
get a peek inside?
85
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,144
- Or a deep dish for the road?
86
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,496
- What are you gonna
do with a dish?
87
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,689
- It's not a dish,
dummy. It's a pizza.
88
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,858
Oh, my God. Have
you never had pizza?
89
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,235
Oh, we have to try
it. It's like, uh...
90
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,071
Imagine a wheel made
of bread and cheese.
91
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:24,199
- Oh, fuck. I want that.
- Yeah, we want that.
92
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,494
- You have
what you need. Now, get.
93
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:30,705
Take it back to Raven
like a good milkman.
94
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:35,168
Your San Francisco
treat awaits. Ding ding.
95
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,295
- This is really well done.
96
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,005
- Thank you.
97
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:45,845
Oh, and John, may all
your wishes come true.
98
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,741
- I mean, I gotta hand
it to that Calypso guy.
99
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,362
What a showman. Do
you think that steam
100
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,030
was actually coming
from the pipes,
101
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,157
or do you think it was dry ice
102
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,118
that he filtered
in for ambiance.
103
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,220
- I'm more concerned
with making it
104
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:11,371
to New San Francisco
in one piece.
105
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,373
- Just let me take the wheel.
106
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,958
- I got it. See?
107
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,838
We can't go back the way
we came after Topeka,
108
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,174
so now we're gonna have to go
north and hook back around.
109
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,052
There's a Pits.
110
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,138
- Cool. That sounds awesome.
111
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,098
Should we stop at
the Taints after?
112
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,099
- Funny.
113
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,268
It's an old milkman pitstop.
114
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,979
You stop off, share
intel on delivery routes,
115
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,940
gas up, maybe get some chow.
Shit, maybe even a shower.
116
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,402
- Uh, why the fuck didn't
we stop by one sooner?
117
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,362
- Well, 'cause there are
only two of them left.
118
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,657
They have very
strict ground rules.
119
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:51,244
Rule one... Don't
talk about your job.
120
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,704
No one cares what you're moving,
121
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,181
but what you're getting paid...
That's a different story,
122
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,249
so we leave it at the door.
- Mmm-hmm.
123
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,752
- Rule two... no
weapons allowed.
124
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,546
- Anything can be a weapon.
I stabbed you with a pen.
125
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,466
What about your hands?
You can strangle, pummel.
126
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:07,927
You can thumb-fuck the eyes.
- Your hands aren't that strong.
127
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:13,600
- They seem pretty strong to me.
- I'll pull over.
128
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,353
- Why would you do that?
We're on a schedule.
129
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:20,357
- Woah! Oh, got it. Oh...
130
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,367
- Roberts for Agent Stone.
131
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,911
Come in Agent Stone.
132
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,455
- Go for Stone.
133
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,891
- Agent Stone, sir, it's...
134
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,851
- Look, this better be about
the mute and the milkman.
135
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,835
- Sir, it's the clown.
136
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,379
Sweet Tooth hit our
Colorado outpost,
137
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,089
just like Utah and the dam.
138
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:47,133
He killed everyone and took
the prisoners with him.
139
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,969
- Fuck! Ah! Ugh!
140
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:53,473
No. Oh, no.
141
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,849
- Also, not urgent,
142
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,435
but there was a small
snafu at the motor pool.
143
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,163
Minor collision, Jamie
and I are fine but...
144
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,331
- Shut up, he
doesn't want to hear it.
145
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,499
- You don't know that.
146
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,708
- Uh, sir, everything's fine.
147
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,025
- Listen.
148
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,279
Nevada, Utah, Colorado.
149
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:12,409
These are not just
random attacks.
150
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:15,745
That smiley faced son of a
bitch is going somewhere.
151
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,969
- Now, don't go asking for
different drink flavors.
152
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,639
You get what you get,
and you don't get upset.
153
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,600
So, eat up and take your shits.
154
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,728
Maybe play some
pick-up basketball.
155
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,313
No snack for you.
You're with me.
156
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,191
Come on.
- Sure.
157
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,027
- Harold! You're in charge.
158
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:53,658
- Uh, everything okay?
- Ah, sweet of you to ask.
159
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,287
Look at my fan club.
Growing every day.
160
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,373
But not everybody
believed in me.
161
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,459
We didn't just stop here
for poops and hoops.
162
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,796
We're here for
something important.
163
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,548
- What?
164
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,179
- Closure.
165
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,730
- Ow! Steering wheel. Ugh.
166
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:27,400
- Evelyn leave a love mark?
She likes to play rough.
167
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:31,905
- She's not a real girl, John.
- I know.
168
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:35,158
- So, this is where
the milkmen hang out.
169
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,243
Wow, it really is the pits.
170
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,079
All right, let's
divide and conquer.
171
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,622
- My thoughts exactly.
172
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,249
I bless you an honorary milkman.
173
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,169
You gas up, I supply up.
174
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,006
Hey.
175
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,435
- Hey piss flaps, I was next.
176
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,490
- At least get a girl off
before treating her like shit.
177
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,283
- I outta choke you.
178
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,120
- Ooh, promise?
179
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,499
Bye, Grady.
180
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,962
He's got nothing.
181
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,839
Tiny little penis.
182
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:31,798
You're up.
183
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,717
- Thanks.
184
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,094
I thought, uh, weapons
weren't allowed.
185
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,889
- Oops!
186
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,646
I haven't seen you around here.
187
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,398
Are you taking over a territory?
188
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,525
- Oh, no. I'm here with...
189
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,985
- Johnny?
190
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:52,986
- Mary?
191
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:54,487
- Oh, my God.
192
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:58,158
- Hmm.
193
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,784
- Hi.
194
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,746
You left me for dead, asshole!
195
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,873
- I thought you
were dead, asshole!
196
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,833
- I guess you two
know each other?
197
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,918
- What... wait-wait-wait-wait.
198
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,130
You're with this son of a bitch?
199
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,678
How clenched do you think
his butthole is right now?
200
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,513
- Oh, I'm gonna guess
it's pretty tight.
201
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:23,475
- Mm-hm, like a
teeny tiny starfish.
202
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,684
Did you miss me?
203
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,487
So seven shots in,
204
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,281
Johnny bets me he
can surf his car.
205
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,035
We go out in the parking
lot. He gets Evelyn to 60.
206
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:45,121
And as he climbs
through the window, bam!
207
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,624
His ass ragdolls
on the concrete.
208
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,460
Just blood pouring
out of his head.
209
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,628
- It's so funny,
210
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,630
because he told me
that he got that scar
211
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:56,758
from a seven-on-one
vulture car chase.
212
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,176
- That's how I got
the other scar.
213
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,886
- Mm-hm.
- Uh-huh.
214
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,805
So, how did you two meet?
215
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,140
- My mother, may
she rest in peace,
216
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,977
ran one of the first pits in
sunny San Juan Capistrano.
217
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,646
When she croaked, I took over
218
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:12,399
and Johnny would pass
through to, um...
219
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,442
What'cha call it?
220
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,069
Drain your tank?
221
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:17,237
Fill her up.
222
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,321
Nuzzle the guzzle.
223
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,657
- C'mon, man.
224
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,534
- Then a gang of burnouts
torched the place.
225
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,452
A blessing in
disguise, honestly.
226
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:28,081
I would've done anything to
get the hell out of there.
227
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,916
Johnny knows.
228
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,960
- I heard about the fire.
229
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:33,336
- And you didn't
come back for me?
230
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:37,799
- They said nobody survived.
- Well this bitch did.
231
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,551
Luckily, I knew a
place in a church
232
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,803
where no one could find me.
233
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:44,222
- The bell tower? Oh, my God.
234
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,866
I haven't thought about
that place in ages.
235
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,684
All the bird shit!
- The bird shit!
236
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,687
Of course that's
what you remember.
237
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:53,481
We made love there.
- So now you're a milkman.
238
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,067
- Mm-hm. No thanks to you.
239
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,069
I always wanted to be a milkman,
240
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,531
but no one took me seriously.
241
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,408
Ain't that right, Johnny?
242
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,662
So what's your story, hm?
243
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,122
No way you're driving cars.
244
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:12,417
I mean, that ass
is way too perky.
245
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,711
- I'm from the OC where
they cut off body parts
246
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,796
and wear them like jewelry.
247
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,882
- Sounds fun.
248
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:22,135
Never leave a
woman's glass empty.
249
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,054
Shots on Johnny!
250
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,476
- Yeah, lucky me.
251
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,813
Okay, Quiet. Look,
about Mary...
252
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,441
- Oh my gosh, you weren't
a virgin when I met you?
253
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,861
I could give two soggy
dumps about your ex.
254
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,696
You're dicking around.
We're on a schedule.
255
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,031
- Dicking around?
256
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,324
Before you came up, I found out
257
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,218
there was a vultures nest
a few clicks from here
258
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,536
that we definitely
would have driven into.
259
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:51,581
I say we butter up these milkmen
260
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,458
with a few buttery nips.
261
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,752
Get what intel we can and
get the hell out of here.
262
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,462
- Okay fine. One more drink.
263
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,922
- Yeah.
264
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,508
Hey, hey, hey!
265
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,093
All right!
266
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,678
Whoa!
267
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,681
- Bloody Mary's a
character, isn't she?
268
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,933
- Bloody Mary, really?
269
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,160
- Hey,
you're laughing,
270
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,687
but she's made more
runs than anyone.
271
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,730
She'll wipe out a
whole vultures nest
272
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,524
just for craps and cackles.
273
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,777
Nicknames mean a lot out here.
274
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:23,113
We all got one.
275
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,572
Pizza Boy,
276
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,782
Petunia,
277
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,618
Pit Viper.
278
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,496
- Well, I can't
wait to hear yours.
279
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,374
- They call me Mr. Slam.
280
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,293
- Why?
281
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,171
- 'Cause I can crush anything
with my massive penis.
282
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,759
- Sorry.
283
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,180
You have a shower here?
284
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,306
- Out back.
285
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,018
We got everything
to take the road ass
286
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,812
right off of you.
287
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,647
Here.
288
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,399
For your nooks and crannies.
289
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:02,444
- Mr. Slam, don't you
worry about my crannies.
290
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,963
- Pizza, baby!
- Pizza, baby.
291
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,363
- Pizza.
- I'm Pizza guy.
292
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:09,492
- Yeah. People love
pizza. You never lose.
293
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,704
- You never trust a guy
that wears a jacket inside.
294
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,586
- Yeah, you
fuckin' hang up on him.
295
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,000
- You know, my
parents sent me here
296
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:19,461
because I got in a
disagreement with my co-star.
297
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,255
Well, actually, they sent
me to the kiddy ward.
298
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,424
And then I moved to the
juvie wellness center.
299
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,843
Oh, and then finally got
bumped up to Blackfield
300
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,261
after I murdered my roommate.
301
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:31,681
Trust me, that guy
was a psychopath.
302
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,475
- What did he do?
303
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,353
- He thought Chris Kirkpatrick
was the best member of NSYNC.
304
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,396
Are you nuts?
305
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:42,692
But this... this
is where I grew up.
306
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,069
It was hard at first.
307
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,653
Nobody came to see me.
308
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,781
Not even my parents.
309
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,575
They said they
would, but they lied!
310
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,164
- You felt alone. I get it.
311
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:58,541
- Don't make this
about you, Stuart.
312
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,794
It's unbecoming.
- Sorry.
313
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,715
- Then I got to know
the guys in here.
314
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,926
And guess what?
315
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,845
They were just like me.
316
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,305
Yeah.
317
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,724
Blackfield was
the best ten years
318
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,476
of my 25-to-life.
319
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,440
Hold onto your butt crack.
320
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,109
We're going in.
321
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:29,698
Home, sweet home.
322
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,200
Huh, still smells the same.
323
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,091
- Your co-star was a dog?
324
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,093
- Fuck Billy, that
son of a bitch!
325
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:53,430
Uh, sorry, Mommy. I-I
didn't mean to swear.
326
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,143
Stu, meet my mommy.
327
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,603
Mommy, meet my Stu.
328
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,939
Hi, Wesley. That's right.
329
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,983
I still won't call you dad.
330
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,694
- You-you locked
your parents in here.
331
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:13,116
- I wrote. I tried calling.
332
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:15,285
They ignored me.
333
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,871
They always ignored me.
334
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:21,124
So when the world ended and
the cell block opened up,
335
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,917
I tracked them down
336
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,045
and I left them in here to rot,
337
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,881
just like they left me!
338
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:32,510
- You, uh, you got
their attention now.
339
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,516
- Yeah, I do.
340
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,855
Mommy, Wesley,
341
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:47,025
I never wanted to try
out for that sitcom.
342
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,568
I was perfectly happy
343
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:51,029
doing summer stock
in the Berkshires.
344
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,990
But you needed a Lexus!
345
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,992
You were my parents.
346
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,995
You were supposed to
be my biggest fans!
347
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,081
And you know what?
348
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,416
I don't need you assholes,
349
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,878
because I have found my people.
350
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,048
And those guys out there?
351
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:14,010
They love me for me!
352
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:21,726
- It's okay.
353
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,020
- I don't need you!
354
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,241
And that concludes our tour!
355
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:58,847
- Ooh, I'd kill
for those areolas.
356
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,015
Bump?
357
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,100
- Uh, nah.
358
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,561
- All right.
359
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,187
Ah.
360
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,566
I know that brand.
361
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,901
You lost a finger and you
got the law on your ass?
362
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,404
Are you crazy or just unlucky?
363
00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,072
- Bit of both, I guess.
364
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,575
- Me too.
365
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:19,534
Check it.
366
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,580
- You got those from law?
- A few of them.
367
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:26,249
Mostly from being a pedestrian.
368
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,376
After the fire, I
had to start fresh.
369
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:32,589
I got this one from playing
possum with some butchers.
370
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,299
Between you and me,
371
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,634
grilled dude tastes
not that bad.
372
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:40,889
- Hey, you're on my shit.
373
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,265
- Oops.
374
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,153
So what's it like
driving with Johnny?
375
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,446
Is it as wet and wild
376
00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:58,239
as he always said it would be?
377
00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:01,368
- He would say wet and wild.
378
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:04,204
Riding with John is
mostly irritating.
379
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,497
I'm sure I'll get used to it.
380
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,874
It's only been a couple days.
381
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,043
- You just met and you're
already goin' on rides?
382
00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:14,381
- I mean, just this one job.
383
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,341
- Well, must be nice.
384
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:17,985
Johnny always said it
would be too dangerous
385
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,969
for me to ride with him.
386
00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:22,639
Milkman have an expiration date,
387
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,641
blah, blah, blah.
388
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:27,227
Guess I had to figure
it out for myself.
389
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:33,191
- Listen, I wouldn't
read too much into it.
390
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,568
It's not like he lets
me drive his car.
391
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,446
- Of course not.
392
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:41,658
But I see the way
he looks at you.
393
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:42,951
He likes you.
394
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:46,538
Like, like likes you.
395
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,249
But he will never pick
you over that car.
396
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:54,170
Evelyn is his ride or die.
397
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,631
Till death do they part.
398
00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,259
But what do I know?
399
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,264
Maybe he likes you
behind the wheel.
400
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,891
Or the wheel behind you.
401
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,730
- Naptime's over, fuck-os!
402
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,523
Time to go...
403
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:20,739
No! Harold, why did
you kill everybody?
404
00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:31,291
- Oh, shit. Get down!
405
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,548
- It's gonna be maggot
Thanksgiving down there.
406
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,425
- That's a good one, Carl.
407
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,403
Jamie, you and your brother,
back with me to base.
408
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:43,678
Mike, get another guy.
409
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,806
Double taps on everybody,
collect their weapons.
410
00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:48,266
- Uh-huh.
411
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:50,769
- And grab the clown's mask.
412
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,896
I want it for my wall.
413
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,230
Let's go.
414
00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:58,610
- Come
on, Ev, drink up.
415
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:04,574
Damn, running water always
makes me have to go.
416
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,913
Oh fuck, Mare!
417
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,164
Do you mind?
418
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:13,458
- No.
419
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:19,631
So Johnny, what
brings you out east?
420
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:21,591
- Pfft! Are you serious?
- Yeah.
421
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,551
- I mean, come on! My job!
422
00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:26,096
You know I can't
give you the deets.
423
00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:29,307
- Your job.
424
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,434
John Doe would never
leave California.
425
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:32,560
It gets too cold,
426
00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:36,022
and he doesn't
like goosepimples.
427
00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:37,941
- Maybe it's a really good job.
428
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,818
- Oh!
- Ooohh!
429
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:42,278
- Maybe that's why
you need a partner.
430
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,798
- No, okay, it's not
like I recruited her.
431
00:22:43,822 --> 00:22:45,615
She kinda just fell in my lap.
432
00:22:45,657 --> 00:22:47,325
- Mmm.
- I didn't mean like that.
433
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,119
Look, Quiet saved my ass.
434
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,163
If it wasn't for her, I'd
be road sauce right now.
435
00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:54,332
- Oh, I mean, I've been
doin' it alone for a while.
436
00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:56,084
I seem to be doin' fine.
437
00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:58,211
Oh.
438
00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:00,046
Unless you're gettin' soft.
- Soft...
439
00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:02,257
Oh, okay.
- Yeah, gettin' soft.
440
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:04,467
- Well, good thing
it's my last run.
441
00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:11,224
It's gettin' cold out
here. I'm gonna head in.
442
00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:14,060
- Your last run?
- Huh?
443
00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,730
- Come on, you can tell me.
444
00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:18,565
You used to tell me all
kinds of crazy shit.
445
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:20,442
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay?
446
00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:22,861
And I told you shit, too.
447
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,446
- Well, let's just say
448
00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:27,699
I'm gonna get what
I always wanted.
449
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:30,410
- No.
450
00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:36,166
Inside?
- Mmm, oh!
451
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:37,459
- Hey John!
- Yo!
452
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:38,585
- Thought you'd wanna know,
453
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,003
Mistress Lane's
about to perform.
454
00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:41,546
- I do not wanna miss that!
455
00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:44,025
After the show, I gotta
get back on the road.
456
00:23:44,049 --> 00:23:45,008
- Uh-huh.
457
00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:47,344
- Because New San
Francisco awaits.
458
00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:49,304
- John... John!
459
00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:50,764
Are you serious?
460
00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:52,140
- Jello, Mare!
461
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:56,811
Oh,
shit! Oh, I'm good!
462
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,441
- Y'all in the front row,
463
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:03,818
you're gonna get wet!
464
00:24:06,363 --> 00:24:07,697
- So, how's the car?
465
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:11,576
- She's good, gassed
up, and ready to go.
466
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:14,204
You smell like fresh
forest, like camping.
467
00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:16,247
- Oh! You're drunk.
468
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,875
- You're drunk!! And also...
469
00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:20,043
I'm drunk.
470
00:24:20,085 --> 00:24:22,253
- Slam! Slam! Slam!
471
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:24,631
- Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam!
- Slam? Slam?
472
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:27,759
- Y'all ready to see
this watermelon explode?
473
00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:29,552
Hell yeah!
474
00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:31,346
- Slam!
- Slam!
475
00:24:33,682 --> 00:24:38,561
Slam! Slam! Slam!
Slam! Slam! Slam!
476
00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:41,773
Slam! Slam! Slam!
Slam! Slam! Slam!
477
00:24:41,815 --> 00:24:44,609
Slam! Slam! Slam!
Slam! Slam! Slam!
478
00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:47,404
- Shh! Shut the fuck up!
479
00:24:47,445 --> 00:24:49,781
- Oh.
480
00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:51,574
Gee, Johnny,
481
00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:54,411
looks like word got
out about your package.
482
00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:55,662
Guess you're not the only one
483
00:24:55,704 --> 00:24:59,082
trying to get inside
New San Francisco, huh?
484
00:24:59,124 --> 00:25:01,626
- You couldn't have
waited one minute?!
485
00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:09,759
- You told them about
New San Francisco?
486
00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:11,553
What the hell happened
to rule number one?
487
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:14,305
- This is why we
have rule number two!
488
00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:23,940
- I told you that was a
fuckin' stupid-ass rule!
489
00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:25,025
- All right, fine!
490
00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:27,152
Okay, there's no
need for violence.
491
00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:29,446
I'll give you the package.
492
00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:31,239
But who do I give it to, huh?
493
00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,199
Give it to you?
494
00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:35,827
How about you?
495
00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:38,246
Don't tell me you haven't
discussed amongst yourselves
496
00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:40,081
who's gonna get it.
497
00:25:42,334 --> 00:25:45,754
Getting in is a
pretty big prize.
498
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,632
- Slam!
499
00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:57,265
- Quiet!
500
00:26:06,358 --> 00:26:08,193
- John!
501
00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:25,710
- Careful, you
might nick yourself.
502
00:26:25,752 --> 00:26:27,170
- Not fuckin' likely.
503
00:26:37,555 --> 00:26:39,891
- What the hell is
this jacket made of?
504
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,624
- Is this just me,
505
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:06,751
or is this kinda hot?
506
00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:07,961
- It's kinda hot.
507
00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:09,713
- Yeah. Do it.
508
00:27:09,754 --> 00:27:11,673
Fuckin' do it.
Gimme another scar.
509
00:27:11,715 --> 00:27:14,509
Add it to the fucking pile!
510
00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:19,014
I would have followed
that milkman anywhere.
511
00:27:19,055 --> 00:27:22,434
All he had to do was say
"Come with me," but he didn't!
512
00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:24,436
Okay, I suffered because of him.
513
00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:27,939
So fuck him if he thinks he
can waltz into a better life!
514
00:27:30,984 --> 00:27:33,194
- Here's a little free advice.
515
00:27:34,779 --> 00:27:37,240
Don't let revenge
ruin a second chance.
516
00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,250
- Behind you!
517
00:27:58,053 --> 00:28:00,638
Goddamn, Mary.
518
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:11,566
- Hey, Slam!
519
00:28:11,608 --> 00:28:14,277
Nice dong moves.
520
00:28:26,706 --> 00:28:28,750
- Stu! Stu!
521
00:28:30,502 --> 00:28:32,796
I'm so sorry.
522
00:28:32,837 --> 00:28:34,964
I didn't mean to, man.
523
00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:40,011
Holy shit! Shit!
524
00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:42,180
I thought I killed you, man.
525
00:28:42,222 --> 00:28:44,349
- You tried to kill me?!
526
00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:46,726
- Uh, no?
527
00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:51,439
- No! No, no, no!
- Who did this?!
528
00:28:51,481 --> 00:28:53,191
Answer me!
529
00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:55,318
Those were my people!
530
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,488
My fans!
531
00:28:58,530 --> 00:29:00,031
Oops.
532
00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:01,616
- Fuck-Fuckin'
Stone! It was Stone!
533
00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:03,034
Stone did this, man!
534
00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:07,789
Please! Please! Please!
535
00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:09,958
I can help! I can help!
536
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,501
I know where Stone is!
537
00:29:12,919 --> 00:29:15,046
- Wait! Stone hurt you.
538
00:29:15,088 --> 00:29:17,173
He can help hurt him back.
539
00:29:22,345 --> 00:29:25,515
- You want a pet? Fine.
540
00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:28,560
But you clean up after him.
541
00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:31,187
'Cause we all know what I do...
542
00:29:31,229 --> 00:29:33,690
to naughty dogs.
543
00:29:41,531 --> 00:29:45,368
- Here... You drive.
544
00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:48,079
At least till I sober up.
545
00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:08,683
- They're going
to New San Francisco.
546
00:30:08,725 --> 00:30:12,270
Huh, interesting.
547
00:30:12,312 --> 00:30:15,815
You guys ever shoot
trout in a barrel?
548
00:30:15,857 --> 00:30:19,903
The fun part isn't
actually shooting them.
549
00:30:19,944 --> 00:30:22,781
It's trapping them
in the barrel.
550
00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:25,700
Boy howdy...
551
00:30:25,742 --> 00:30:28,036
do I love a good trap.
37923
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