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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:15,015 - All right, everybody! 2 00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,600 Who's ready for "Billy & 2 Scoops?" 3 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,623 - Stand by for first team. 4 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,405 - I don't get it. 5 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,282 The show has always been called "2 Scoops." 6 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,909 They can't just add Billy to the title for no reason. 7 00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,412 - Marcus, honey, they have a great reason. 8 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:41,124 Everyone loves Billy! - I know I do. 9 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,500 - But I'm the lead. So what? 10 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,478 Billy gets a few laughs. Now, he's the next Urkel? 11 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,547 I mean, even Billy's fanclub is twice the size of mine. 12 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,924 - Well, he's twice as funny. 13 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,510 - Stop it. Your dad is so bad. 14 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,554 - Well, at least he's not my real dad. 15 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,559 - You know, you should thank your lucky stars for that. 16 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,353 Hmm? 17 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,747 You'd still be living in a taxi cab 18 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,775 if your unhinged father didn't go to jail. 19 00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,985 Go, take your mark. 20 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:09,837 - All right. 21 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,905 We're gettin' ready to go. 22 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,784 - All right, gang, 23 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,535 we've got a great show for you today. 24 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,454 We hope you all... 25 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:27,837 - Okay, here we go. Ready, three, two, one. 26 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,888 - Mmm. - Lenny Scoops, you slow down! 27 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,599 You'll hurt your tummy. 28 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,518 - Oh, yeah? 29 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,646 Tell that to my sweet tooth! 30 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,112 - We have to open the ice cream store. 31 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:56,741 I wonder what's taking Billy so long? 32 00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,083 - He's so cute! 33 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:12,132 - Marcus! 34 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,762 Marcus, it's your line. 35 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,353 Oh! 36 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,237 - Oh, my fucking God! Holy shit! 37 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,657 - Who's a good boy now, Billy? 38 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,788 - God! Oh, shit! 39 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:50,879 Line? 40 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:03,350 - Hello? 41 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,394 Anybody in there? 42 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,105 How the hell am I supposed to pick up this package? 43 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,273 - Cross the moat. 44 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,941 - Hell no! You go. 45 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,651 - Uh, that water is gross as fuck. 46 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,820 I'm not swimming in that toilet river. 47 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,951 - This doesn't make any sense. 48 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,370 - I'm gonna throw a rock at it. 49 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,538 - Oh, great idea, genius. 50 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:36,883 Don't you say it. 51 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,593 Um... - Oh! 52 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,012 - Right here. - I... I told you so. 53 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,605 - This way. 54 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,650 - The fuck? Where are you goin'? 55 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,568 - You heard the creepy disembodied voice. 56 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,488 "This way." Come on, coward. 57 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,115 - Getting warmer. 58 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,284 - Now he's giggling. 59 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,720 I can't believe you're enjoying this. 60 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,746 - Oh, come on. It's like a haunted house. 61 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,791 The smoke, the creepy lighting. I'm half expecting 62 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,419 a vampire to just pop out of the smoke and say... 63 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,420 - Hello. 64 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,338 - God... Oh, my God. 65 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,382 You got me, man. 66 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,134 Oh, please tell me you live down here. 67 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,388 - Oh, no. I don't live down here. 68 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,931 - Twist! 69 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,283 - I don't have time for this tomfoolery. 70 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,726 Show yourself. 71 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,520 - Why would I reveal my face? 72 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:34,024 You see, there's power in anonymity. 73 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,817 - Wait a minute. 74 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,194 Are you Calypso? 75 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,696 - What? 76 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:42,282 - I read that name everywhere. "Believe in Calypso." 77 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,744 "Calypso is real." - Yeah! Are you him? 78 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,581 - I guess that means yes. - Huh. 79 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,794 - Secret compartment. Choice. 80 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,482 - Hey, Calypso, I usually get a supply bump 81 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,468 when picking up deliveries. We need gas, man. 82 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,237 - The package is what you've earned. 83 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:07,599 No more, no less, no free handouts. 84 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,309 - Well, can we at least get a peek inside? 85 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,144 - Or a deep dish for the road? 86 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,496 - What are you gonna do with a dish? 87 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,689 - It's not a dish, dummy. It's a pizza. 88 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,858 Oh, my God. Have you never had pizza? 89 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,235 Oh, we have to try it. It's like, uh... 90 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,071 Imagine a wheel made of bread and cheese. 91 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:24,199 - Oh, fuck. I want that. - Yeah, we want that. 92 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,494 - You have what you need. Now, get. 93 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:30,705 Take it back to Raven like a good milkman. 94 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:35,168 Your San Francisco treat awaits. Ding ding. 95 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,295 - This is really well done. 96 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,005 - Thank you. 97 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:45,845 Oh, and John, may all your wishes come true. 98 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,741 - I mean, I gotta hand it to that Calypso guy. 99 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,362 What a showman. Do you think that steam 100 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,030 was actually coming from the pipes, 101 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,157 or do you think it was dry ice 102 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,118 that he filtered in for ambiance. 103 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,220 - I'm more concerned with making it 104 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:11,371 to New San Francisco in one piece. 105 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,373 - Just let me take the wheel. 106 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,958 - I got it. See? 107 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,838 We can't go back the way we came after Topeka, 108 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,174 so now we're gonna have to go north and hook back around. 109 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,052 There's a Pits. 110 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,138 - Cool. That sounds awesome. 111 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,098 Should we stop at the Taints after? 112 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,099 - Funny. 113 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,268 It's an old milkman pitstop. 114 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,979 You stop off, share intel on delivery routes, 115 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,940 gas up, maybe get some chow. Shit, maybe even a shower. 116 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,402 - Uh, why the fuck didn't we stop by one sooner? 117 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,362 - Well, 'cause there are only two of them left. 118 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,657 They have very strict ground rules. 119 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:51,244 Rule one... Don't talk about your job. 120 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,704 No one cares what you're moving, 121 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,181 but what you're getting paid... That's a different story, 122 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,249 so we leave it at the door. - Mmm-hmm. 123 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,752 - Rule two... no weapons allowed. 124 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,546 - Anything can be a weapon. I stabbed you with a pen. 125 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,466 What about your hands? You can strangle, pummel. 126 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:07,927 You can thumb-fuck the eyes. - Your hands aren't that strong. 127 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:13,600 - They seem pretty strong to me. - I'll pull over. 128 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,353 - Why would you do that? We're on a schedule. 129 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:20,357 - Woah! Oh, got it. Oh... 130 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,367 - Roberts for Agent Stone. 131 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,911 Come in Agent Stone. 132 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,455 - Go for Stone. 133 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,891 - Agent Stone, sir, it's... 134 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,851 - Look, this better be about the mute and the milkman. 135 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,835 - Sir, it's the clown. 136 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,379 Sweet Tooth hit our Colorado outpost, 137 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,089 just like Utah and the dam. 138 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:47,133 He killed everyone and took the prisoners with him. 139 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,969 - Fuck! Ah! Ugh! 140 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:53,473 No. Oh, no. 141 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,849 - Also, not urgent, 142 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,435 but there was a small snafu at the motor pool. 143 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,163 Minor collision, Jamie and I are fine but... 144 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,331 - Shut up, he doesn't want to hear it. 145 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,499 - You don't know that. 146 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,708 - Uh, sir, everything's fine. 147 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,025 - Listen. 148 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,279 Nevada, Utah, Colorado. 149 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:12,409 These are not just random attacks. 150 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:15,745 That smiley faced son of a bitch is going somewhere. 151 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,969 - Now, don't go asking for different drink flavors. 152 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,639 You get what you get, and you don't get upset. 153 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,600 So, eat up and take your shits. 154 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,728 Maybe play some pick-up basketball. 155 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,313 No snack for you. You're with me. 156 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,191 Come on. - Sure. 157 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,027 - Harold! You're in charge. 158 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:53,658 - Uh, everything okay? - Ah, sweet of you to ask. 159 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,287 Look at my fan club. Growing every day. 160 00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,373 But not everybody believed in me. 161 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,459 We didn't just stop here for poops and hoops. 162 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,796 We're here for something important. 163 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,548 - What? 164 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,179 - Closure. 165 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,730 - Ow! Steering wheel. Ugh. 166 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:27,400 - Evelyn leave a love mark? She likes to play rough. 167 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:31,905 - She's not a real girl, John. - I know. 168 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:35,158 - So, this is where the milkmen hang out. 169 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,243 Wow, it really is the pits. 170 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,079 All right, let's divide and conquer. 171 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,622 - My thoughts exactly. 172 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,249 I bless you an honorary milkman. 173 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,169 You gas up, I supply up. 174 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,006 Hey. 175 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,435 - Hey piss flaps, I was next. 176 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,490 - At least get a girl off before treating her like shit. 177 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,283 - I outta choke you. 178 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,120 - Ooh, promise? 179 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,499 Bye, Grady. 180 00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,962 He's got nothing. 181 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,839 Tiny little penis. 182 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:31,798 You're up. 183 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,717 - Thanks. 184 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,094 I thought, uh, weapons weren't allowed. 185 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,889 - Oops! 186 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,646 I haven't seen you around here. 187 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,398 Are you taking over a territory? 188 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,525 - Oh, no. I'm here with... 189 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,985 - Johnny? 190 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:52,986 - Mary? 191 00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:54,487 - Oh, my God. 192 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:58,158 - Hmm. 193 00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,784 - Hi. 194 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,746 You left me for dead, asshole! 195 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,873 - I thought you were dead, asshole! 196 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,833 - I guess you two know each other? 197 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,918 - What... wait-wait-wait-wait. 198 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,130 You're with this son of a bitch? 199 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,678 How clenched do you think his butthole is right now? 200 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,513 - Oh, I'm gonna guess it's pretty tight. 201 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:23,475 - Mm-hm, like a teeny tiny starfish. 202 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,684 Did you miss me? 203 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,487 So seven shots in, 204 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,281 Johnny bets me he can surf his car. 205 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,035 We go out in the parking lot. He gets Evelyn to 60. 206 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:45,121 And as he climbs through the window, bam! 207 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,624 His ass ragdolls on the concrete. 208 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,460 Just blood pouring out of his head. 209 00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,628 - It's so funny, 210 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,630 because he told me that he got that scar 211 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:56,758 from a seven-on-one vulture car chase. 212 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,176 - That's how I got the other scar. 213 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,886 - Mm-hm. - Uh-huh. 214 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,805 So, how did you two meet? 215 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,140 - My mother, may she rest in peace, 216 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,977 ran one of the first pits in sunny San Juan Capistrano. 217 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,646 When she croaked, I took over 218 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:12,399 and Johnny would pass through to, um... 219 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,442 What'cha call it? 220 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,069 Drain your tank? 221 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:17,237 Fill her up. 222 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,321 Nuzzle the guzzle. 223 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,657 - C'mon, man. 224 00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,534 - Then a gang of burnouts torched the place. 225 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,452 A blessing in disguise, honestly. 226 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:28,081 I would've done anything to get the hell out of there. 227 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,916 Johnny knows. 228 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,960 - I heard about the fire. 229 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:33,336 - And you didn't come back for me? 230 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:37,799 - They said nobody survived. - Well this bitch did. 231 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,551 Luckily, I knew a place in a church 232 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,803 where no one could find me. 233 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:44,222 - The bell tower? Oh, my God. 234 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,866 I haven't thought about that place in ages. 235 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,684 All the bird shit! - The bird shit! 236 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,687 Of course that's what you remember. 237 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:53,481 We made love there. - So now you're a milkman. 238 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,067 - Mm-hm. No thanks to you. 239 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,069 I always wanted to be a milkman, 240 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,531 but no one took me seriously. 241 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,408 Ain't that right, Johnny? 242 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,662 So what's your story, hm? 243 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,122 No way you're driving cars. 244 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:12,417 I mean, that ass is way too perky. 245 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,711 - I'm from the OC where they cut off body parts 246 00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,796 and wear them like jewelry. 247 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,882 - Sounds fun. 248 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:22,135 Never leave a woman's glass empty. 249 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,054 Shots on Johnny! 250 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,476 - Yeah, lucky me. 251 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,813 Okay, Quiet. Look, about Mary... 252 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,441 - Oh my gosh, you weren't a virgin when I met you? 253 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,861 I could give two soggy dumps about your ex. 254 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,696 You're dicking around. We're on a schedule. 255 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,031 - Dicking around? 256 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,324 Before you came up, I found out 257 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,218 there was a vultures nest a few clicks from here 258 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,536 that we definitely would have driven into. 259 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:51,581 I say we butter up these milkmen 260 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,458 with a few buttery nips. 261 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,752 Get what intel we can and get the hell out of here. 262 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,462 - Okay fine. One more drink. 263 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,922 - Yeah. 264 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,508 Hey, hey, hey! 265 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,093 All right! 266 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,678 Whoa! 267 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,681 - Bloody Mary's a character, isn't she? 268 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,933 - Bloody Mary, really? 269 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,160 - Hey, you're laughing, 270 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,687 but she's made more runs than anyone. 271 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,730 She'll wipe out a whole vultures nest 272 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,524 just for craps and cackles. 273 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,777 Nicknames mean a lot out here. 274 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:23,113 We all got one. 275 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,572 Pizza Boy, 276 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,782 Petunia, 277 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,618 Pit Viper. 278 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,496 - Well, I can't wait to hear yours. 279 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,374 - They call me Mr. Slam. 280 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,293 - Why? 281 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,171 - 'Cause I can crush anything with my massive penis. 282 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,759 - Sorry. 283 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,180 You have a shower here? 284 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,306 - Out back. 285 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,018 We got everything to take the road ass 286 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,812 right off of you. 287 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,647 Here. 288 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,399 For your nooks and crannies. 289 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:02,444 - Mr. Slam, don't you worry about my crannies. 290 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,963 - Pizza, baby! - Pizza, baby. 291 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,363 - Pizza. - I'm Pizza guy. 292 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:09,492 - Yeah. People love pizza. You never lose. 293 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,704 - You never trust a guy that wears a jacket inside. 294 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,586 - Yeah, you fuckin' hang up on him. 295 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,000 - You know, my parents sent me here 296 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:19,461 because I got in a disagreement with my co-star. 297 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,255 Well, actually, they sent me to the kiddy ward. 298 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,424 And then I moved to the juvie wellness center. 299 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,843 Oh, and then finally got bumped up to Blackfield 300 00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,261 after I murdered my roommate. 301 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:31,681 Trust me, that guy was a psychopath. 302 00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,475 - What did he do? 303 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,353 - He thought Chris Kirkpatrick was the best member of NSYNC. 304 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,396 Are you nuts? 305 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:42,692 But this... this is where I grew up. 306 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,069 It was hard at first. 307 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,653 Nobody came to see me. 308 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,781 Not even my parents. 309 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,575 They said they would, but they lied! 310 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,164 - You felt alone. I get it. 311 00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:58,541 - Don't make this about you, Stuart. 312 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,794 It's unbecoming. - Sorry. 313 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,715 - Then I got to know the guys in here. 314 00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,926 And guess what? 315 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,845 They were just like me. 316 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,305 Yeah. 317 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,724 Blackfield was the best ten years 318 00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,476 of my 25-to-life. 319 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,440 Hold onto your butt crack. 320 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,109 We're going in. 321 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:29,698 Home, sweet home. 322 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,200 Huh, still smells the same. 323 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,091 - Your co-star was a dog? 324 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,093 - Fuck Billy, that son of a bitch! 325 00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:53,430 Uh, sorry, Mommy. I-I didn't mean to swear. 326 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,143 Stu, meet my mommy. 327 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,603 Mommy, meet my Stu. 328 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,939 Hi, Wesley. That's right. 329 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,983 I still won't call you dad. 330 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,694 - You-you locked your parents in here. 331 00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:13,116 - I wrote. I tried calling. 332 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:15,285 They ignored me. 333 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,871 They always ignored me. 334 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:21,124 So when the world ended and the cell block opened up, 335 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,917 I tracked them down 336 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,045 and I left them in here to rot, 337 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,881 just like they left me! 338 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:32,510 - You, uh, you got their attention now. 339 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,516 - Yeah, I do. 340 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,855 Mommy, Wesley, 341 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:47,025 I never wanted to try out for that sitcom. 342 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,568 I was perfectly happy 343 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:51,029 doing summer stock in the Berkshires. 344 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,990 But you needed a Lexus! 345 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,992 You were my parents. 346 00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,995 You were supposed to be my biggest fans! 347 00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,081 And you know what? 348 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,416 I don't need you assholes, 349 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,878 because I have found my people. 350 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,048 And those guys out there? 351 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:14,010 They love me for me! 352 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:21,726 - It's okay. 353 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,020 - I don't need you! 354 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,241 And that concludes our tour! 355 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:58,847 - Ooh, I'd kill for those areolas. 356 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,015 Bump? 357 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,100 - Uh, nah. 358 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,561 - All right. 359 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,187 Ah. 360 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,566 I know that brand. 361 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,901 You lost a finger and you got the law on your ass? 362 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,404 Are you crazy or just unlucky? 363 00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,072 - Bit of both, I guess. 364 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,575 - Me too. 365 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:19,534 Check it. 366 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,580 - You got those from law? - A few of them. 367 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:26,249 Mostly from being a pedestrian. 368 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,376 After the fire, I had to start fresh. 369 00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:32,589 I got this one from playing possum with some butchers. 370 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,299 Between you and me, 371 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,634 grilled dude tastes not that bad. 372 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:40,889 - Hey, you're on my shit. 373 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,265 - Oops. 374 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,153 So what's it like driving with Johnny? 375 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,446 Is it as wet and wild 376 00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:58,239 as he always said it would be? 377 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:01,368 - He would say wet and wild. 378 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:04,204 Riding with John is mostly irritating. 379 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,497 I'm sure I'll get used to it. 380 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,874 It's only been a couple days. 381 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,043 - You just met and you're already goin' on rides? 382 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:14,381 - I mean, just this one job. 383 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,341 - Well, must be nice. 384 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:17,985 Johnny always said it would be too dangerous 385 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,969 for me to ride with him. 386 00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:22,639 Milkman have an expiration date, 387 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,641 blah, blah, blah. 388 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:27,227 Guess I had to figure it out for myself. 389 00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:33,191 - Listen, I wouldn't read too much into it. 390 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,568 It's not like he lets me drive his car. 391 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,446 - Of course not. 392 00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:41,658 But I see the way he looks at you. 393 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:42,951 He likes you. 394 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:46,538 Like, like likes you. 395 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,249 But he will never pick you over that car. 396 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:54,170 Evelyn is his ride or die. 397 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,631 Till death do they part. 398 00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,259 But what do I know? 399 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,264 Maybe he likes you behind the wheel. 400 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,891 Or the wheel behind you. 401 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,730 - Naptime's over, fuck-os! 402 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,523 Time to go... 403 00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:20,739 No! Harold, why did you kill everybody? 404 00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:31,291 - Oh, shit. Get down! 405 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,548 - It's gonna be maggot Thanksgiving down there. 406 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,425 - That's a good one, Carl. 407 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,403 Jamie, you and your brother, back with me to base. 408 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:43,678 Mike, get another guy. 409 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,806 Double taps on everybody, collect their weapons. 410 00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:48,266 - Uh-huh. 411 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:50,769 - And grab the clown's mask. 412 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,896 I want it for my wall. 413 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,230 Let's go. 414 00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:58,610 - Come on, Ev, drink up. 415 00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:04,574 Damn, running water always makes me have to go. 416 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,913 Oh fuck, Mare! 417 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,164 Do you mind? 418 00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:13,458 - No. 419 00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:19,631 So Johnny, what brings you out east? 420 00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:21,591 - Pfft! Are you serious? - Yeah. 421 00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,551 - I mean, come on! My job! 422 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:26,096 You know I can't give you the deets. 423 00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:29,307 - Your job. 424 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,434 John Doe would never leave California. 425 00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:32,560 It gets too cold, 426 00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:36,022 and he doesn't like goosepimples. 427 00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:37,941 - Maybe it's a really good job. 428 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,818 - Oh! - Ooohh! 429 00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:42,278 - Maybe that's why you need a partner. 430 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,798 - No, okay, it's not like I recruited her. 431 00:22:43,822 --> 00:22:45,615 She kinda just fell in my lap. 432 00:22:45,657 --> 00:22:47,325 - Mmm. - I didn't mean like that. 433 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,119 Look, Quiet saved my ass. 434 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,163 If it wasn't for her, I'd be road sauce right now. 435 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:54,332 - Oh, I mean, I've been doin' it alone for a while. 436 00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:56,084 I seem to be doin' fine. 437 00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:58,211 Oh. 438 00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:00,046 Unless you're gettin' soft. - Soft... 439 00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:02,257 Oh, okay. - Yeah, gettin' soft. 440 00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:04,467 - Well, good thing it's my last run. 441 00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:11,224 It's gettin' cold out here. I'm gonna head in. 442 00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:14,060 - Your last run? - Huh? 443 00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,730 - Come on, you can tell me. 444 00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:18,565 You used to tell me all kinds of crazy shit. 445 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:20,442 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay? 446 00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:22,861 And I told you shit, too. 447 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,446 - Well, let's just say 448 00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:27,699 I'm gonna get what I always wanted. 449 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:30,410 - No. 450 00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:36,166 Inside? - Mmm, oh! 451 00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:37,459 - Hey John! - Yo! 452 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:38,585 - Thought you'd wanna know, 453 00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,003 Mistress Lane's about to perform. 454 00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:41,546 - I do not wanna miss that! 455 00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:44,025 After the show, I gotta get back on the road. 456 00:23:44,049 --> 00:23:45,008 - Uh-huh. 457 00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:47,344 - Because New San Francisco awaits. 458 00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:49,304 - John... John! 459 00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:50,764 Are you serious? 460 00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:52,140 - Jello, Mare! 461 00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:56,811 Oh, shit! Oh, I'm good! 462 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,441 - Y'all in the front row, 463 00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:03,818 you're gonna get wet! 464 00:24:06,363 --> 00:24:07,697 - So, how's the car? 465 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:11,576 - She's good, gassed up, and ready to go. 466 00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:14,204 You smell like fresh forest, like camping. 467 00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:16,247 - Oh! You're drunk. 468 00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,875 - You're drunk!! And also... 469 00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:20,043 I'm drunk. 470 00:24:20,085 --> 00:24:22,253 - Slam! Slam! Slam! 471 00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:24,631 - Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! - Slam? Slam? 472 00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:27,759 - Y'all ready to see this watermelon explode? 473 00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:29,552 Hell yeah! 474 00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:31,346 - Slam! - Slam! 475 00:24:33,682 --> 00:24:38,561 Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! 476 00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:41,773 Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! 477 00:24:41,815 --> 00:24:44,609 Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! 478 00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:47,404 - Shh! Shut the fuck up! 479 00:24:47,445 --> 00:24:49,781 - Oh. 480 00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:51,574 Gee, Johnny, 481 00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:54,411 looks like word got out about your package. 482 00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:55,662 Guess you're not the only one 483 00:24:55,704 --> 00:24:59,082 trying to get inside New San Francisco, huh? 484 00:24:59,124 --> 00:25:01,626 - You couldn't have waited one minute?! 485 00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:09,759 - You told them about New San Francisco? 486 00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:11,553 What the hell happened to rule number one? 487 00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:14,305 - This is why we have rule number two! 488 00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:23,940 - I told you that was a fuckin' stupid-ass rule! 489 00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:25,025 - All right, fine! 490 00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:27,152 Okay, there's no need for violence. 491 00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:29,446 I'll give you the package. 492 00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:31,239 But who do I give it to, huh? 493 00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,199 Give it to you? 494 00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:35,827 How about you? 495 00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:38,246 Don't tell me you haven't discussed amongst yourselves 496 00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:40,081 who's gonna get it. 497 00:25:42,334 --> 00:25:45,754 Getting in is a pretty big prize. 498 00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,632 - Slam! 499 00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:57,265 - Quiet! 500 00:26:06,358 --> 00:26:08,193 - John! 501 00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:25,710 - Careful, you might nick yourself. 502 00:26:25,752 --> 00:26:27,170 - Not fuckin' likely. 503 00:26:37,555 --> 00:26:39,891 - What the hell is this jacket made of? 504 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,624 - Is this just me, 505 00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:06,751 or is this kinda hot? 506 00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:07,961 - It's kinda hot. 507 00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:09,713 - Yeah. Do it. 508 00:27:09,754 --> 00:27:11,673 Fuckin' do it. Gimme another scar. 509 00:27:11,715 --> 00:27:14,509 Add it to the fucking pile! 510 00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:19,014 I would have followed that milkman anywhere. 511 00:27:19,055 --> 00:27:22,434 All he had to do was say "Come with me," but he didn't! 512 00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:24,436 Okay, I suffered because of him. 513 00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:27,939 So fuck him if he thinks he can waltz into a better life! 514 00:27:30,984 --> 00:27:33,194 - Here's a little free advice. 515 00:27:34,779 --> 00:27:37,240 Don't let revenge ruin a second chance. 516 00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,250 - Behind you! 517 00:27:58,053 --> 00:28:00,638 Goddamn, Mary. 518 00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:11,566 - Hey, Slam! 519 00:28:11,608 --> 00:28:14,277 Nice dong moves. 520 00:28:26,706 --> 00:28:28,750 - Stu! Stu! 521 00:28:30,502 --> 00:28:32,796 I'm so sorry. 522 00:28:32,837 --> 00:28:34,964 I didn't mean to, man. 523 00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:40,011 Holy shit! Shit! 524 00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:42,180 I thought I killed you, man. 525 00:28:42,222 --> 00:28:44,349 - You tried to kill me?! 526 00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:46,726 - Uh, no? 527 00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:51,439 - No! No, no, no! - Who did this?! 528 00:28:51,481 --> 00:28:53,191 Answer me! 529 00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:55,318 Those were my people! 530 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,488 My fans! 531 00:28:58,530 --> 00:29:00,031 Oops. 532 00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:01,616 - Fuck-Fuckin' Stone! It was Stone! 533 00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:03,034 Stone did this, man! 534 00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:07,789 Please! Please! Please! 535 00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:09,958 I can help! I can help! 536 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,501 I know where Stone is! 537 00:29:12,919 --> 00:29:15,046 - Wait! Stone hurt you. 538 00:29:15,088 --> 00:29:17,173 He can help hurt him back. 539 00:29:22,345 --> 00:29:25,515 - You want a pet? Fine. 540 00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:28,560 But you clean up after him. 541 00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:31,187 'Cause we all know what I do... 542 00:29:31,229 --> 00:29:33,690 to naughty dogs. 543 00:29:41,531 --> 00:29:45,368 - Here... You drive. 544 00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:48,079 At least till I sober up. 545 00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:08,683 - They're going to New San Francisco. 546 00:30:08,725 --> 00:30:12,270 Huh, interesting. 547 00:30:12,312 --> 00:30:15,815 You guys ever shoot trout in a barrel? 548 00:30:15,857 --> 00:30:19,903 The fun part isn't actually shooting them. 549 00:30:19,944 --> 00:30:22,781 It's trapping them in the barrel. 550 00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:25,700 Boy howdy... 551 00:30:25,742 --> 00:30:28,036 do I love a good trap. 37923

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