Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,011 --> 00:00:09,141
-["Tap Into Your Fort Worth" playing]
-[audience cheering]
2
00:00:09,848 --> 00:00:13,435
Let's ride! Y'all hear that beat?
3
00:00:14,561 --> 00:00:19,149
? Got my best boots on, smile on my face
Can't believe we're from this place ?
4
00:00:19,232 --> 00:00:23,278
? Thirteenth biggest in the state
Can a town be a soulmate? ?
5
00:00:23,361 --> 00:00:27,407
? East Exchange Avenue
Steers in my rear-view ?
6
00:00:27,490 --> 00:00:31,619
? Gonna hit what USA Today calls
The second-best zoo ?
7
00:00:31,703 --> 00:00:36,082
? 'Cause Cowtown is a wow town
With a walkable downtown ?
8
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:39,836
? It's time to tap into your Fort Worth ?
9
00:00:40,795 --> 00:00:42,213
? Worth! Worth! Worth! ?
10
00:00:42,297 --> 00:00:44,632
[news theme music playing]
11
00:00:44,716 --> 00:00:48,511
Move over, Margaritaville and Africa.
12
00:00:48,595 --> 00:00:51,598
There's a new place with a song about it.
13
00:00:52,348 --> 00:00:53,516
Here!
14
00:00:53,517 --> 00:00:55,559
-[whooping]
-Fort Worth, baby!
15
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:56,640
[Jackie] Yes!
16
00:00:56,644 --> 00:01:00,315
So, what's your connection to Fort Worth?
Are y'all from Texas?
17
00:01:00,316 --> 00:01:02,316
What's Mariah Carey's connection
to Christmas?
18
00:01:02,317 --> 00:01:04,235
She's not from Christmas.
19
00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:08,698
But of course, this is just the first stop
on Girls5Eva's Returnity World Tour.
20
00:01:08,782 --> 00:01:10,952
We'll be adding more cities
as we book them.
21
00:01:10,992 --> 00:01:12,118
No more questions.
22
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:14,579
-? It's got no hipsters ?
-? Like Austin ?
23
00:01:14,662 --> 00:01:16,873
-? Or Wahlbergs ?
-? Like Boston ?
24
00:01:16,956 --> 00:01:18,875
-? Or tech bros ?
-? Like Austin ?
25
00:01:18,958 --> 00:01:21,169
-? Or Afflecks ?
-? Like Boston ?
26
00:01:21,252 --> 00:01:25,507
So, Dawn, you're a mom
and a singer and Italian,
27
00:01:25,590 --> 00:01:27,509
so lots of emotions there.
28
00:01:28,093 --> 00:01:31,596
How's it been being back on the road
after all these years?
29
00:01:31,679 --> 00:01:34,265
-Well, obviously, I miss my family.
-Mm.
30
00:01:35,016 --> 00:01:38,353
Uh, actually, this is the first time
I've been away from them
31
00:01:38,354 --> 00:01:41,563
since I got trapped for a weekend
in a Marshalls bathroom stall.
32
00:01:41,564 --> 00:01:45,235
Thank you for asking.
I'm gay and looking, Fort Worth.
33
00:01:45,318 --> 00:01:47,987
Hello. On our last tour,
I was so deep in the closet,
34
00:01:48,071 --> 00:01:51,783
I was behind the fireproof box
where you put birth certificates.
35
00:01:51,866 --> 00:01:53,159
Not anymore.
36
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,993
[Dawn] ? Some say Omaha Zoo
Is second best ?
37
00:01:54,994 --> 00:01:59,707
? But that's a lie
Because their red panda is always inside ?
38
00:01:59,791 --> 00:02:02,877
? It's never out on the tree ?
39
00:02:02,961 --> 00:02:06,840
This tour is gonna be amazing,
and no one's gonna ruin it.
40
00:02:06,923 --> 00:02:09,509
Definitely not me. [laughing]
41
00:02:10,635 --> 00:02:11,685
Yes.
42
00:02:13,721 --> 00:02:15,515
[Dawn] What...? What's that about?
43
00:02:16,015 --> 00:02:17,892
Jesus, Summer, it's 6 a.m.
44
00:02:17,893 --> 00:02:18,976
["Famous 5eva" playing]
45
00:02:18,977 --> 00:02:23,857
? Gonna be famous 5eva
'Cause 4eva's too short ?
46
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,275
? It's too short ?
47
00:02:25,358 --> 00:02:31,489
? Gonna be famous 3-gether
'Cause that's one more than 2-gether ?
48
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:38,246
? Gonna be famous 5eva
'Cause 4eva's too short ?
49
00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:40,832
? So, what are you waiting five? ?
50
00:02:40,915 --> 00:02:45,211
? Girls5eva ?
51
00:02:48,173 --> 00:02:50,175
[lilting music playing]
52
00:02:50,258 --> 00:02:52,969
-Yo! What's up, virgins?
-Ooh, hi!
53
00:02:53,052 --> 00:02:55,763
First walk of shame on the books. Ha, ha!
54
00:02:55,847 --> 00:02:58,224
-Good for you, rock star!
-[Gloria] Yeah.
55
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:02,395
I'm just gonna check off
"pre-Friends Courteney Cox type"
56
00:03:02,478 --> 00:03:03,938
off the old spreadsheet.
57
00:03:04,022 --> 00:03:05,732
[upbeat music playing]
58
00:03:05,815 --> 00:03:08,151
"The 178 Types of Women."
59
00:03:08,152 --> 00:03:10,819
That's the spreadsheet
you were working on in the van?
60
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:12,654
-Yeah.
-Thought you were doing your taxes.
61
00:03:12,655 --> 00:03:14,699
I'm trying to make up for lost time here.
62
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,159
Before last night,
I had only been with one woman.
63
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,414
-Well, my night was pretty great too.
-Ooh.
64
00:03:21,497 --> 00:03:24,083
I slept like a baby,
and my dreams had zero bees.
65
00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:27,295
Wow. Look at us,
just all hanging out, best friends.
66
00:03:27,296 --> 00:03:29,630
-No one's saying anything wrong.
-[pensive music playing]
67
00:03:29,631 --> 00:03:31,341
[Percy] It'd be great at TCU.
68
00:03:31,342 --> 00:03:34,009
Girls5eva's been invited
to lead the steer walk to the stockyards.
69
00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:34,927
Yes.
70
00:03:34,928 --> 00:03:37,304
Texas Motor Speedway wants y'all
to wave the checkered flag.
71
00:03:37,305 --> 00:03:38,722
It's checkered due to its history.
72
00:03:38,723 --> 00:03:40,098
-It's the Confederate flag.
-Pass.
73
00:03:40,099 --> 00:03:42,809
And the Fort Worth Hard Rock has requested
some G5e memorabilia.
74
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:43,727
Here.
75
00:03:43,728 --> 00:03:45,355
[whimsical music playing]
76
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:47,990
Yeah.
77
00:03:48,024 --> 00:03:50,985
It's "Ew, Gross" by Isaac Mizrahi.
For the plaque.
78
00:03:50,986 --> 00:03:53,570
And next week the Fort Worth mayor
would love for you guys
79
00:03:53,571 --> 00:03:56,074
to cut the ribbon
on a new on-ramp on I-35.
80
00:03:56,075 --> 00:03:57,074
-Ooh!
-Aw.
81
00:03:57,075 --> 00:03:59,452
An honor,
but we won't be in FoWo next week.
82
00:03:59,535 --> 00:04:02,872
We have juiced this pig. New saying.
Where to next?
83
00:04:02,873 --> 00:04:05,207
Dawn, did you follow up
on those leads I sent?
84
00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:07,210
You mean the website for Red Rocks
85
00:04:07,211 --> 00:04:09,419
and the Wikipedia page
for Radio City Music Hall?
86
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:12,799
And that article about how Moby
has finally done enough yoga
87
00:04:12,882 --> 00:04:15,009
to reach his own dick, so he quit music.
88
00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:17,511
Maybe we could swoop in
and take some of his dates.
89
00:04:17,512 --> 00:04:21,224
-Right. Well, I've been busy.
-With what? This?
90
00:04:21,307 --> 00:04:22,642
No, hey, I'm not done!
91
00:04:22,643 --> 00:04:25,477
[Wickie] Time on the clock,
slats on the chair, bird has one wing,
92
00:04:25,478 --> 00:04:28,648
house has no chimney,
double green in the rainbow, come on!
93
00:04:28,731 --> 00:04:32,193
I need you to be the Dawn.
Details, legwork, booking.
94
00:04:32,277 --> 00:04:34,988
-I found her.
-Found who? What are you doing?
95
00:04:34,989 --> 00:04:37,030
I was just looking up
last night's bang on Insta.
96
00:04:37,031 --> 00:04:39,241
-Why are you looking up a one-night stand?
-[Summer] Oh!
97
00:04:39,242 --> 00:04:42,494
Did she steal your wigs and medication?
Kev did that our first night.
98
00:04:42,495 --> 00:04:44,330
Nah! She had just an early meeting,
99
00:04:44,331 --> 00:04:46,832
and I was just seeing
if that ho-bag made it on time.
100
00:04:46,833 --> 00:04:49,919
The only ho-bags
you should be focusing on are us!
101
00:04:50,003 --> 00:04:53,715
Let's go! Tour mode!
Vroom-vroom, beep-beep!
102
00:04:53,798 --> 00:04:55,341
[sputtering] Ah!
103
00:04:55,925 --> 00:05:00,555
I don't know if we need
to rush out of Fort Worth so soon.
104
00:05:00,638 --> 00:05:03,433
I mean, we could sell out for weeks
if we wanted.
105
00:05:03,516 --> 00:05:06,936
But all crowds want to hear is
"Tap Into Your Fort Worth,"
106
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:10,732
and we're staying
in a Marriott Divorced Dad Suitelets.
107
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:13,567
-That one's luggage is a garbage bag.
-[lilting music playing]
108
00:05:13,568 --> 00:05:18,239
Yeah, well, you're staying here for free,
thanks to my credit-card reward points.
109
00:05:18,323 --> 00:05:21,868
The vending machine is filled
with wrapped kids' birthday presents.
110
00:05:21,951 --> 00:05:24,662
Oh, shit. Thank you for reminding me.
Is today the 28th?
111
00:05:24,746 --> 00:05:26,748
It's the fifth!
112
00:05:26,749 --> 00:05:28,999
All I'm saying is that
we came here with no plan
113
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,627
and maybe
this is the perfect place to make one.
114
00:05:31,711 --> 00:05:34,672
You know, get our act together,
incubate the show.
115
00:05:34,756 --> 00:05:38,885
Didn't you feel like Yesternights
got pushed out before it was ready?
116
00:05:38,968 --> 00:05:42,513
Mm, my solo album. Hmm. Maybe a little.
117
00:05:42,597 --> 00:05:47,310
? Wishing you could be my knight ?
118
00:05:47,393 --> 00:05:50,396
? But you're only in my ?
119
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,567
? Yesternights ?
120
00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:58,071
? Of night ?
121
00:05:58,154 --> 00:06:00,782
? Oh, yeah ?
122
00:06:00,865 --> 00:06:05,411
? Third verse, mm, in progress ?
123
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:10,792
? Mm, vamping, ooh, vamping ?
124
00:06:11,334 --> 00:06:12,960
? Lonely nights ?
125
00:06:13,544 --> 00:06:15,129
The label wanted it out in time
126
00:06:15,213 --> 00:06:18,163
to be playing in the background
of a Breckin Meyer sex tape.
127
00:06:18,674 --> 00:06:20,176
[whimsical music playing]
128
00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:22,678
Fine.
129
00:06:23,388 --> 00:06:26,098
We'll stay in Fort Worth
until we get our act together.
130
00:06:27,809 --> 00:06:30,937
Does B3 seem like something
a 13- or 14-year-old would want?
131
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,070
No!
132
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,530
Try E9.
133
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:39,362
-Aw, her mom is cute.
-You see this?
134
00:06:40,113 --> 00:06:43,616
I've read eight pages of a book.
I have downtime.
135
00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:47,202
What else should I do?
I can't drink 'cause I'm pregnant, so...
136
00:06:47,203 --> 00:06:49,038
Ooh! I'm gonna take a...
137
00:06:50,039 --> 00:06:52,929
It's like a toilet. Long, it's hot.
You get in it, you like it.
138
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,504
-Are you trying to say "bath"?
-Yes! Thank you.
139
00:06:57,046 --> 00:06:58,131
[line dialing]
140
00:06:58,132 --> 00:07:00,298
[on recording]
Hey, it's Irene. You know what to do.
141
00:07:00,299 --> 00:07:01,759
-[voicemail beeps]
-Irene.
142
00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:05,221
Yeah, this is Gloria from sex.
I'm leaving a message again.
143
00:07:05,222 --> 00:07:07,431
Yeah, I was just checking in
on your big meeting,
144
00:07:07,432 --> 00:07:09,475
how it went, etcetera, etcetera.
145
00:07:10,309 --> 00:07:14,147
Yeah, just call me back if you want.
Whatevs, dot caszh. Okay.
146
00:07:15,481 --> 00:07:17,041
Now you're calling this woman?
147
00:07:17,042 --> 00:07:19,443
Are you sure
this was just a one-night stand?
148
00:07:19,444 --> 00:07:20,611
Of course!
149
00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:23,465
It's just your standard
"wham, bam, thank you, ma'am,
150
00:07:23,489 --> 00:07:25,616
did you get to your early meeting, ma'am?"
151
00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:27,702
Gloria, it's okay if you want more.
152
00:07:27,785 --> 00:07:30,663
I don't.
I just want to know about the meeting.
153
00:07:30,664 --> 00:07:35,167
-[poignant music playing]
-Okay, that night I was with John Mayer...
154
00:07:35,168 --> 00:07:36,335
Garbage dick.
155
00:07:36,419 --> 00:07:39,338
...he told me
that he had a 2 a.m. guitar meeting.
156
00:07:41,299 --> 00:07:43,134
So I think maybe the meeting is...
157
00:07:43,135 --> 00:07:44,801
-Is still going on.
-[music stops]
158
00:07:44,802 --> 00:07:47,555
And long meetings are
where the deals are made,
159
00:07:47,638 --> 00:07:49,474
so I should send her something.
160
00:07:49,475 --> 00:07:52,309
Wonder if they make balloons that say
"Congrats on your long meeting"?
161
00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:53,394
You know what?
162
00:07:54,270 --> 00:07:56,189
Gloria, you do you.
163
00:07:56,272 --> 00:07:59,650
I'm gonna go take a bath.
164
00:08:02,403 --> 00:08:04,071
In a stand-up shower.
165
00:08:04,155 --> 00:08:07,325
[lilting music playing]
166
00:08:08,743 --> 00:08:10,536
Everyone fucked John Mayer.
167
00:08:11,329 --> 00:08:12,914
[audience cheering]
168
00:08:12,915 --> 00:08:18,376
Sorry, guys, I got stuck
at the steer walk, signing cows.
169
00:08:18,377 --> 00:08:19,754
Now, ladies.
170
00:08:20,463 --> 00:08:25,134
It's just me. Hi. I thought we were
all meeting early to work on our set.
171
00:08:25,218 --> 00:08:27,845
I was all ready to go
and no one ever came.
172
00:08:27,929 --> 00:08:30,598
Five, six, seven, eight...
173
00:08:31,599 --> 00:08:34,769
nine, 10, 11, 12...
174
00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:36,770
-[microphone feedback whining]
-13...
175
00:08:36,771 --> 00:08:40,274
I stopped when I ran out of numbers.
Did the plan change?
176
00:08:43,945 --> 00:08:46,030
Oh, usually someone else responds to you.
177
00:08:46,031 --> 00:08:50,116
Is this the first time
you and I have ever been alone together?
178
00:08:50,117 --> 00:08:51,076
Feels like it, but no.
179
00:08:51,077 --> 00:08:53,412
There was one other time.
October 28th, 2001.
180
00:08:54,497 --> 00:08:55,831
Okay, stalker.
181
00:08:55,915 --> 00:08:57,250
[tense music playing]
182
00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,085
So sorry. Little problem.
183
00:08:59,877 --> 00:09:03,422
I snuck in a bath after the steer walk
and I used too much moisturizer,
184
00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:06,466
so I couldn't open the door,
so I put eyelash glue on my hands.
185
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:08,052
Now I can't get my hands apart.
186
00:09:08,053 --> 00:09:09,803
-[Summer] Dawn, no.
-[grunting]
187
00:09:09,804 --> 00:09:11,180
Sorry I'm late.
188
00:09:11,264 --> 00:09:14,892
I had to put a little cheese
in the rat trap for hookup two.
189
00:09:14,976 --> 00:09:19,105
Dawn, it's gonna be no strings.
If I was a tampon, I'd be lost forever.
190
00:09:19,188 --> 00:09:22,525
You know what else is lost?
Us, 'cause we didn't rehearse.
191
00:09:22,608 --> 00:09:25,318
-You're up, Girls5eva.
-Okay, let me pee on your hands.
192
00:09:25,361 --> 00:09:27,363
-That's jellyfish.
-Jellyfish!
193
00:09:27,364 --> 00:09:30,115
Let's hear it for the best thing
to happen to Fort Worth.
194
00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:32,492
[Gloria] This hair is heavy.
I might not be able to dance.
195
00:09:32,493 --> 00:09:35,037
-Girls5eva!
-[audience cheering]
196
00:09:35,121 --> 00:09:36,747
Here, take some of my face.
197
00:09:36,748 --> 00:09:39,332
-[Summer] Is there choreography?
-[Gloria] Is there a set list?
198
00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:41,668
I don't want to Yesternights us.
It wasn't ready.
199
00:09:41,669 --> 00:09:44,839
? All night ?
200
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,298
[man] I said don't turn around!
201
00:09:46,299 --> 00:09:49,384
We'll get our shit together
and work on the full act tomorrow,
202
00:09:49,385 --> 00:09:51,971
practice our other songs,
choreo, everything.
203
00:09:52,054 --> 00:09:54,599
Okay, we'll get our act together tomorrow.
204
00:09:54,682 --> 00:09:56,892
Right, but tonight we'll just do...
205
00:09:56,976 --> 00:10:01,022
? The home of Hagman and Meester
Capshaw and Schieffer ?
206
00:10:01,105 --> 00:10:02,481
? Capshaw and Schieffer ?
207
00:10:02,565 --> 00:10:05,860
? Tap into your Fort Worth ?
208
00:10:05,943 --> 00:10:07,111
[whooping]
209
00:10:07,194 --> 00:10:08,696
[cheering and whistling]
210
00:10:09,774 --> 00:10:11,865
[yells]
211
00:10:11,866 --> 00:10:13,492
[upbeat music playing]
212
00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:15,578
[whooping]
213
00:10:16,662 --> 00:10:18,372
They ate us up!
214
00:10:18,873 --> 00:10:22,710
I haven't gotten that level of applause
since I agreed to leave an airplane.
215
00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:25,143
Did you see me crowd-surf
that pack of ladies?
216
00:10:25,212 --> 00:10:27,682
-Yeah, you did it face-down?
-I did it face-down.
217
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,508
[Bootsy] Girls5eva!
218
00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:30,672
[Summer & Gloria] Oh!
219
00:10:30,718 --> 00:10:32,345
Bootsy's in the building.
220
00:10:32,428 --> 00:10:35,306
-Hey, Bootsy!
-What the hell's with the pillows?
221
00:10:35,307 --> 00:10:37,557
My Jordans are too expensive
to touch the ground.
222
00:10:37,558 --> 00:10:40,186
Kim Jong-Un hit a hole-in-one
on the sun in these.
223
00:10:40,269 --> 00:10:43,314
-Oh.
-Uh, could y'all just, uh, come to me?
224
00:10:44,023 --> 00:10:47,401
Somebody didn't bring enough pillows.
Jason, you're fired!
225
00:10:49,070 --> 00:10:50,529
Well, great show.
226
00:10:50,530 --> 00:10:53,615
What was that, a 40-minute version
of your Fort Worth song?
227
00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:55,034
It was mostly improv.
228
00:10:55,035 --> 00:10:57,452
At one point, it sounded like
you were just naming streets.
229
00:10:57,453 --> 00:11:00,623
-And reading sports hats.
-I just did Wikipedia.
230
00:11:00,706 --> 00:11:06,671
? Fort Worth is the birthplace
Of multiple serial killers, including... ?
231
00:11:06,754 --> 00:11:07,880
Oh, he's bad.
232
00:11:09,715 --> 00:11:10,765
Fuck Dallas!
233
00:11:10,766 --> 00:11:11,841
Fuck Dallas!
234
00:11:11,842 --> 00:11:13,927
-Fuck Dallas!
-[audience] Fuck Dallas!
235
00:11:13,928 --> 00:11:16,931
-[laughing]
-Y'all must be loving Fort Worth.
236
00:11:17,014 --> 00:11:19,892
-Love it.
-They can't get enough of y'all down here.
237
00:11:19,975 --> 00:11:22,937
That must feel damn good
after so many years of rejection.
238
00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:27,191
-[pensive music playing]
-Y'all got mad groupies down here,
239
00:11:27,274 --> 00:11:29,860
looking to clown down in Cowtown, right?
240
00:11:29,944 --> 00:11:31,195
[all chuckle]
241
00:11:31,278 --> 00:11:33,906
Yeah. And look at you all happy
and getting along.
242
00:11:33,989 --> 00:11:37,868
But if it's a different city every night,
it is a pressure cooker.
243
00:11:37,952 --> 00:11:42,665
And if one person says
the wrong thing, poof! Bye-bye, group.
244
00:11:43,708 --> 00:11:46,210
And touring is so hard.
245
00:11:46,293 --> 00:11:48,045
Zero downtime.
246
00:11:48,129 --> 00:11:51,173
It's like managing a restaurant
or raising a kid.
247
00:11:51,257 --> 00:11:52,550
Or maybe both.
248
00:11:52,633 --> 00:11:57,304
Who knows? Yeah, these are weird examples.
Anyway, I'm pretty high.
249
00:11:57,305 --> 00:11:58,430
Uh...
250
00:11:58,431 --> 00:12:01,057
I think you'd be smart to stay here
just as long as you can.
251
00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,108
[music stops]
252
00:12:04,395 --> 00:12:08,190
Are you the purse I left on the ground
at the steer walk?
253
00:12:08,191 --> 00:12:10,525
-[tense music playing]
-Because you are full of bullshit.
254
00:12:10,526 --> 00:12:13,112
Yeah, Fort Worth is just our first stop.
255
00:12:13,195 --> 00:12:17,950
Yeah, we are working on our full act,
starting tomorrow, so...
256
00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:21,370
-Yeah, so why don't you...
-No, no, no.
257
00:12:21,454 --> 00:12:26,917
...get your wrong-ass observations
the fuck out of here?
258
00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:28,377
Well, that was dumb.
259
00:12:28,378 --> 00:12:30,503
You want me to leave,
but now I have nowhere to go!
260
00:12:30,504 --> 00:12:32,130
Where I'm gonna go? There's no pillows.
261
00:12:32,131 --> 00:12:34,550
Then stay there and we'll go. Come on.
262
00:12:34,633 --> 00:12:36,886
-[Dawn] Bye.
-[lilting music playing]
263
00:12:36,969 --> 00:12:38,095
Jason?
264
00:12:40,639 --> 00:12:43,017
Decisions, decisions.
What am I getting? Ah!
265
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,852
[lilting music continues]
266
00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:48,522
-Hey.
-I forgot today was my birthday, so...
267
00:12:48,606 --> 00:12:51,567
-Percy, can I ask you something?
-Sure. I get this a lot.
268
00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:53,630
Yes, my face is a popular Halloween mask.
269
00:12:53,694 --> 00:12:55,984
But unfortunately,
I don't see a dime from it.
270
00:12:55,988 --> 00:12:57,865
[dramatic sting plays]
271
00:12:57,948 --> 00:12:59,268
No, I mean... [clears throat]
272
00:12:59,283 --> 00:13:02,369
...this tour is going well so far, right?
273
00:13:02,453 --> 00:13:05,539
I think so,
but I'm not great with social cues.
274
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:08,750
In movies, I always think Christoph Waltz
is the good guy because he's smiling.
275
00:13:08,751 --> 00:13:10,920
I'm just nervous because...
276
00:13:12,004 --> 00:13:14,799
the last time I was alone...
[in low voice] with Wickie,
277
00:13:15,382 --> 00:13:19,220
I accidentally convinced her
to leave the group.
278
00:13:19,303 --> 00:13:22,556
But I was alone with her again tonight
and I didn't,
279
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:26,101
so that's good, right?
280
00:13:26,102 --> 00:13:27,727
Yeah.
281
00:13:27,728 --> 00:13:28,728
Yeah.
282
00:13:28,729 --> 00:13:30,147
[both laugh]
283
00:13:35,486 --> 00:13:37,947
"Magic: The Gathering"? Mm-mm. Too scary!
284
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,868
So it's Max's night
with the class hamster, but he lost it.
285
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,002
Uh-huh.
286
00:13:44,078 --> 00:13:45,788
Ooh. Cow yoga.
287
00:13:45,871 --> 00:13:47,873
-What?
-Hamsters. I was listening.
288
00:13:47,874 --> 00:13:50,208
Oh, hey, can I watch
the new The Crown without you?
289
00:13:50,209 --> 00:13:53,419
Those dicks in the English Department
don't know the meaning of "spoiler."
290
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:55,421
There's a new The Crown?
Love you. Miss you. Bye.
291
00:13:55,422 --> 00:13:56,472
Okay, bye...
292
00:13:56,549 --> 00:13:59,552
Dawn! Look who's on
to the next hunk-a-strange.
293
00:13:59,635 --> 00:14:00,886
[chattering]
294
00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:04,306
I told you I wasn't hung up
on that last gal.
295
00:14:04,307 --> 00:14:06,015
I'm being super caszh about this,
296
00:14:06,016 --> 00:14:09,770
so don't bother getting to know this one
'cause you'll never see her again.
297
00:14:10,479 --> 00:14:12,106
This is really easy for me.
298
00:14:12,189 --> 00:14:15,276
-Cool cool. You two have fun.
-Don't memorize her face!
299
00:14:16,193 --> 00:14:17,611
There's a new The Crown.
300
00:14:17,695 --> 00:14:20,948
Oh, my God, we're above the fold? Ha!
301
00:14:21,031 --> 00:14:24,451
Have fun below the fold,
"Silo Explosion Kills Field Trip."
302
00:14:24,535 --> 00:14:27,246
Please!
You're never gonna leave this place.
303
00:14:27,329 --> 00:14:30,332
Yes, I am.
I'm looking at a house tomorrow.
304
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:33,167
Come on, Tyler. I just need
a little more time to get my act together.
305
00:14:33,168 --> 00:14:36,045
-[dramatic music playing]
-Oh, my God, Dad, stop lying to yourself!
306
00:14:36,046 --> 00:14:38,966
Excuse me.
He's gonna get his act together.
307
00:14:39,049 --> 00:14:43,721
Give your father time, Tyler.
He's looking at a house tomorrow.
308
00:14:43,804 --> 00:14:47,474
He's been here for six years, lady.
Unlike my mom's boyfriend.
309
00:14:47,475 --> 00:14:50,643
He just bought his second party bus
for his party-bus business.
310
00:14:50,644 --> 00:14:52,187
Greg is taking big swings.
311
00:14:52,271 --> 00:14:55,566
Lay off him. The divorce is
probably something you did, Tyler.
312
00:14:55,649 --> 00:14:59,236
No, he's right. I'm just scared,
and this place is comfortable.
313
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,865
I don't want to be dramatic,
but I'll probably die here.
314
00:15:06,118 --> 00:15:07,168
Oh, God.
315
00:15:07,661 --> 00:15:09,246
[classical music playing]
316
00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,874
Welcome to Windsor Castle, admiral.
317
00:15:11,957 --> 00:15:15,419
Everyone, this is the admiral.
318
00:15:15,502 --> 00:15:17,880
Admiral, why, this is everyone.
319
00:15:17,963 --> 00:15:20,090
Tubby Bear, Ducks,
320
00:15:20,174 --> 00:15:22,009
Plumpo needs no introduction.
321
00:15:22,092 --> 00:15:25,596
Hugsy Rabbit, Jeremy, Lord Froggy...
322
00:15:25,597 --> 00:15:28,514
-Dawn, we're gonna die in Fort Worth!
-[dramatic music playing]
323
00:15:28,515 --> 00:15:31,267
Shh! I'm watching the new Crown.
They're in the aughts now.
324
00:15:31,268 --> 00:15:35,272
Not as much drama since Diana died,
but Prince Andrew has 72 stuffed animals.
325
00:15:35,356 --> 00:15:37,396
It's the least upsetting thing about him.
326
00:15:37,441 --> 00:15:39,443
Dr. and Mrs. Hippo.
327
00:15:39,526 --> 00:15:41,737
That pillow's name is Daddy, of course.
328
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,739
Sebastian the Hound...
329
00:15:43,822 --> 00:15:46,575
Stinker was right.
We are never gonna leave.
330
00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:50,329
-We're figuring it out. We're leaving.
-When? Tomorrow?
331
00:15:50,412 --> 00:15:52,331
We are lying to ourselves.
332
00:15:52,414 --> 00:15:55,793
It'll always be tomorrow
because we love it here.
333
00:15:55,876 --> 00:15:57,378
But it's a trap, Dawn!
334
00:15:58,253 --> 00:16:02,043
You know what Hagman and Meester,
Capshaw and Schieffer all had in common?
335
00:16:02,049 --> 00:16:04,176
-They were born here.
-And they left.
336
00:16:04,259 --> 00:16:06,971
That's the only reason
we all know their names.
337
00:16:07,054 --> 00:16:10,349
Yet I can't stop
Zillow-surfing houses in Rivercrest.
338
00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:13,893
This one has five bedrooms for
the Lunch Lord and his son, or whatever.
339
00:16:13,894 --> 00:16:14,936
This bathtub reminds me,
340
00:16:14,937 --> 00:16:17,855
I bet I could watch The Crown
from the tub with a system of mirrors.
341
00:16:17,856 --> 00:16:18,906
Stop it.
342
00:16:19,358 --> 00:16:21,485
I need you to make us leave!
343
00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:24,613
Wrangle, do e-mails, calls! The Dawn jobs!
344
00:16:24,697 --> 00:16:27,700
Just stop acting like you're on vacation.
345
00:16:27,783 --> 00:16:31,954
Leave me alone!
I haven't had a break in, like, 20 years!
346
00:16:32,037 --> 00:16:35,416
I just need a little more time, baby.
347
00:16:35,499 --> 00:16:39,503
Just one more bath and then I'll help.
348
00:16:39,586 --> 00:16:41,213
Oh, my God.
349
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,842
I don't know who you are.
350
00:16:50,514 --> 00:16:53,350
Angus, why is Lieutenant Fussbottom
next to Glen?
351
00:16:53,434 --> 00:16:54,601
They're in a fight.
352
00:16:54,685 --> 00:16:58,397
I suppose I update the stuffie map
for my own amusement, then?
353
00:16:58,398 --> 00:16:59,856
-[door slams]
-[Wickie] Summer!
354
00:16:59,857 --> 00:17:02,443
-You're in charge.
-What? No!
355
00:17:02,526 --> 00:17:05,904
I need you to be the Dawn.
I can't do it. It would wreck my posture.
356
00:17:05,988 --> 00:17:08,574
-What about Gloria?
-You think I didn't try that?
357
00:17:10,576 --> 00:17:12,703
-Gloria.
-Mm. Mm!
358
00:17:13,328 --> 00:17:14,997
-Mm!
-[groans]
359
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:19,043
We have to get out of Fort Worth,
and I have no one else to turn to.
360
00:17:19,752 --> 00:17:21,295
-Okay.
-Okay.
361
00:17:21,378 --> 00:17:23,005
I can try and be Dawn.
362
00:17:23,088 --> 00:17:26,300
Chris Pratt played Mario.
There's no rules when it's Italians.
363
00:17:26,383 --> 00:17:30,554
It's just, being alone with you
makes me really nervous.
364
00:17:30,637 --> 00:17:33,849
-We've never been alone together.
-We have. Twice.
365
00:17:33,932 --> 00:17:35,809
-Earlier tonight.
-I don't think so.
366
00:17:35,893 --> 00:17:38,062
And October 28th, 2001.
367
00:17:38,145 --> 00:17:39,195
[door opens]
368
00:17:40,981 --> 00:17:42,149
Wickie?
369
00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:45,818
Rob Schneider doesn't want to be in
our video, so that's a no from everyone.
370
00:17:45,819 --> 00:17:50,115
-We're over!
-Hey, no, it's not over.
371
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,742
We're mid-tour! Mid!
372
00:17:51,825 --> 00:17:55,287
Ugh. Please, you can't deny
our front rows are getting uglier.
373
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:58,415
Hey, hey, we are gonna be okay
374
00:17:58,499 --> 00:18:01,210
because we have you.
375
00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:02,961
I mean, you've got it all.
376
00:18:03,045 --> 00:18:07,800
You've got the looks and the voice,
and you're engaged to Phil Spector.
377
00:18:08,509 --> 00:18:11,845
All you have to do is just be Wickie Roy.
378
00:18:11,846 --> 00:18:13,221
-Huh.
-[pensive music playing]
379
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,272
I do have it all.
380
00:18:14,306 --> 00:18:16,600
You're our Beyonc�,
381
00:18:16,683 --> 00:18:19,436
our Gwen Stefani.
382
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,522
Uh, you're our Timberlake.
383
00:18:21,605 --> 00:18:25,150
All people who are being held back
by the groups they're currently in.
384
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,111
-Yeah.
-If only they had the courage
385
00:18:27,194 --> 00:18:29,238
to do what I'm about to do.
386
00:18:29,321 --> 00:18:31,198
-Ooh, what's that?
-I'm Wickie Roy.
387
00:18:31,281 --> 00:18:32,991
-Yeah.
-I take big swings.
388
00:18:33,075 --> 00:18:35,160
-Sure.
-I'm going solo!
389
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:37,579
-[laughing]
-What? No, Wickie!
390
00:18:37,663 --> 00:18:41,750
-No, that's not what I... This isn't...
-Holy... Bye!
391
00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:45,129
-You understand that this time I don't...
-Say no more.
392
00:18:45,879 --> 00:18:49,466
You were right then and you are right now.
393
00:18:50,425 --> 00:18:52,928
I just need to be Wickie Roy!
394
00:18:53,011 --> 00:18:54,596
[laughing]
395
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,314
No!
396
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,520
-Well, that was fun.
-It sure was.
397
00:19:01,603 --> 00:19:05,023
And now it's over. Cool. Good.
398
00:19:05,107 --> 00:19:07,757
-Bye forever. Real quick.
-Glad we're on the same page.
399
00:19:07,818 --> 00:19:11,363
While you slept, I wrote a song
and it's called "No Strings Attached."
400
00:19:11,446 --> 00:19:16,326
? One night they said
No strings attached ?
401
00:19:16,410 --> 00:19:21,165
? But in that night
Two souls were matched ?
402
00:19:21,248 --> 00:19:25,961
? Goodbye was more than they could bear ?
403
00:19:26,044 --> 00:19:30,257
? Then a wizard told them
It's always night somewhere ?
404
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:34,720
? So they chase the moon on an airplane ?
405
00:19:34,803 --> 00:19:40,559
? Powered by love ?
406
00:19:40,642 --> 00:19:42,936
? Around the world a million times ?
407
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:47,691
? A morning that never came
Until the coroner said to the wizard ?
408
00:19:47,774 --> 00:19:51,195
? Time of death, the same, no... ?
409
00:19:51,278 --> 00:19:53,572
Okay. Uh, Linda, right?
410
00:19:53,655 --> 00:19:54,781
It's Gloria.
411
00:19:54,865 --> 00:19:58,035
You're awesome, but I think
we might want different things.
412
00:19:58,118 --> 00:20:02,414
Nah, bish, you heard the song. No strings!
413
00:20:02,497 --> 00:20:04,958
And when did the coroner board the plane?
414
00:20:05,042 --> 00:20:06,919
-Let me catch up.
-No, I don't care.
415
00:20:07,002 --> 00:20:10,714
-Uh, I have an early meeting.
-Cool. No probs.
416
00:20:11,381 --> 00:20:13,592
I love you! Nah.
417
00:20:13,675 --> 00:20:14,843
Prank.
418
00:20:14,927 --> 00:20:17,179
Let me draw you! Not.
419
00:20:19,598 --> 00:20:21,642
[whimsical music playing]
420
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:27,272
Mm. That's nice.
421
00:20:28,732 --> 00:20:29,782
[music fades]
422
00:20:29,816 --> 00:20:31,485
You were right.
423
00:20:31,568 --> 00:20:34,738
I'm incapable
of the string-less lifestyle.
424
00:20:34,821 --> 00:20:37,699
-I'm all string.
-Yeah, you're kind of an attacher.
425
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:39,700
Didn't you marry Caroline
after the second date?
426
00:20:39,701 --> 00:20:40,743
[scoffs]
427
00:20:40,744 --> 00:20:45,207
We went straight from paintball.
I imprint like an emperor penguin.
428
00:20:45,290 --> 00:20:47,584
So how am I gonna sow my oats?
429
00:20:47,668 --> 00:20:50,379
Okay, on the new The Crown,
Prince Andrew...
430
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:51,379
-Ew.
-Hear me out.
431
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,966
...has 72 stuffed animals.
-Gross.
432
00:20:54,049 --> 00:20:57,719
And every night,
he chooses one to be Lord Cuddles.
433
00:20:57,803 --> 00:21:00,813
And then every morning,
he really struggles to say goodbye.
434
00:21:00,889 --> 00:21:02,599
I love you. Prank!
435
00:21:02,683 --> 00:21:04,726
Let me draw you. Not!
436
00:21:04,810 --> 00:21:08,146
But he does it.
It's weird, but he does it.
437
00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:11,191
And then he moves on to the next cuddle.
438
00:21:11,275 --> 00:21:15,070
Okay, maybe
I could still make up for lost time
439
00:21:15,153 --> 00:21:19,366
if I just treated every hookup
like an intense mini-relationship.
440
00:21:19,449 --> 00:21:23,996
Like every one-night stand,
I'd be living the first two minutes of Up.
441
00:21:24,579 --> 00:21:28,208
-[poignant music playing]
-So Meg and I are over,
442
00:21:29,584 --> 00:21:31,545
and I miss her so much.
443
00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:36,216
And I'm moving ahead.
[mimics videotape fast-forwarding]
444
00:21:37,217 --> 00:21:40,387
Hey, what's up?
Who's gonna ride the pony tonight?
445
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:41,847
-Yes.
-[elevator chimes]
446
00:21:41,930 --> 00:21:47,144
-You guys, I did something so bad.
-Oh, what'd you tweet?
447
00:21:47,227 --> 00:21:50,314
-I made Wickie quit the group again.
-Wait, what?
448
00:21:50,397 --> 00:21:54,651
-Again?
-Well, this is goodbye...
449
00:21:54,735 --> 00:21:56,485
-[pensive music playing]
-What?
450
00:21:56,987 --> 00:21:58,155
to Fort Worth.
451
00:21:58,238 --> 00:22:00,282
-We are out of here.
-We?
452
00:22:00,365 --> 00:22:01,415
Like, us?
453
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:03,035
All of us? Summer too?
454
00:22:03,702 --> 00:22:06,913
I packed everyone's stuff,
but I was super respectful.
455
00:22:06,997 --> 00:22:08,957
I did zero sniffs.
456
00:22:08,958 --> 00:22:11,375
-Where are we going?
-The top, Gloria. Ever heard of it?
457
00:22:11,376 --> 00:22:13,920
You see,
Summer helped me realize something.
458
00:22:14,004 --> 00:22:16,298
-She did?
-I am Wickie Roy.
459
00:22:16,381 --> 00:22:19,676
-I take big swings.
-Wickie, what did you do?
460
00:22:19,677 --> 00:22:22,178
What needed to be done
to make us leave Fort Worth.
461
00:22:22,179 --> 00:22:23,764
I took all the money we made here
462
00:22:23,847 --> 00:22:26,933
and put a down payment
on a venue befitting a real tour.
463
00:22:26,934 --> 00:22:29,560
-[hopeful music playing]
-Save the date, six months from today,
464
00:22:29,561 --> 00:22:30,937
November 23rd,
465
00:22:31,021 --> 00:22:34,566
Girls5eva is playing
Radio City Music Hall.
466
00:22:34,649 --> 00:22:36,109
-What?
-She's not quitting.
467
00:22:36,193 --> 00:22:38,612
-All of our money?
-Wait, what?
468
00:22:38,695 --> 00:22:41,490
Isn't November 23rd Thanksgiving?
469
00:22:41,573 --> 00:22:45,285
-That would explain why it was available.
-Radio City is huge.
470
00:22:45,369 --> 00:22:46,569
What if we can't fill it?
471
00:22:46,578 --> 00:22:49,748
We owe Tishman Speyer Properties $570,000.
472
00:22:49,831 --> 00:22:51,625
Or they sue us to death.
473
00:22:51,708 --> 00:22:54,711
Consider our fire lit. You're welcome.
474
00:22:54,795 --> 00:22:56,254
[whimsical music playing]
475
00:22:56,338 --> 00:22:59,174
Wow, y'all. Wow.
476
00:23:00,842 --> 00:23:02,177
[Wickie] Door open.
477
00:23:03,553 --> 00:23:04,603
Door open.
478
00:23:07,557 --> 00:23:10,811
[Andrew] And, admiral,
this is Flopsy of Warwickshire,
479
00:23:10,894 --> 00:23:15,774
Bradford, Kingsley, Prescott,
Brigadier General Badger,
480
00:23:15,857 --> 00:23:20,570
Remington, Heathcliff,
Orville and his wife Helen of Brae,
481
00:23:20,654 --> 00:23:24,074
Evelyn, Snuggly Bear, Duchess Frog.
482
00:23:24,157 --> 00:23:27,869
Hiding in the back, there's the shy one,
Sebastian the Hound,
483
00:23:27,953 --> 00:23:32,874
Foxy, Mr. Monster Face, Wendell,
Tinsley, Tinsley, Sr.,
484
00:23:32,958 --> 00:23:37,796
Little Tinsley, Kanga Rodney,
Owly, who's a vicar of course,
485
00:23:37,879 --> 00:23:42,426
Beatrix Otter, Alfie the Possum
who was stripped of his rank,
486
00:23:42,509 --> 00:23:46,847
Cheeky Ol Stout, Esmerelda the 12th,
Godfrey, Jonathan,
487
00:23:46,930 --> 00:23:52,436
Major Fluffy, Captain Patches,
Field Marshal Bubbles, Duke Cuddlebums,
488
00:23:52,519 --> 00:23:57,858
Anastasia, Samantha, whom I loathe,
Benjamin, Hoppy, Skippy,
489
00:23:57,941 --> 00:24:04,030
Jumpy, Jammies, Reginald,
Dusty, Tuft, Thomas Pudding,
490
00:24:04,114 --> 00:24:06,366
Buster Bat, Baron Squishy,
491
00:24:06,450 --> 00:24:09,703
Prime Minister Buttercup,
Viscount Quackers,
492
00:24:09,786 --> 00:24:14,458
Reverend Mobsy, Spiky,
Yellow Bear, she's a goat,
493
00:24:14,541 --> 00:24:20,505
Pudsey, Sploosh the Dolphin,
Gwendolyn of Hastings, Plantain Conchita,
494
00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:23,842
Sister Waddles, Ripley,
Alexandria of Stroud,
495
00:24:23,925 --> 00:24:28,638
Daphne, Todd,
Lieutenant Fussbottom, and Glen.
496
00:24:28,688 --> 00:24:33,238
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39667
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
