All language subtitles for G.T.S03E02.The.Family.Gun.540p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

* Good times
Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times
Any time you need a friend *

* Good times
Any time you're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head
Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs
Good times *

* Easy credit rip-offs
Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin'
Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line
Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times **

Hey, Daddy, you can fix just
about anything, huh?

Well, I don't want to brag, son,
but yeah.

[LAUGHS]

J.J., what you painting?

I'm painting
that fine-looking lady

who just moved across the way.

See?

You must be desperate,

painting someone
in another apartment.

Well, I gotta get
my models somewhere.

I just wish
she would hold still.

Why can't she be
like Whistler's mother

and just sit in the chair?

J.J., you're crazy.

Oh, why's she--

Just hold still, baby.

Just...take it easy.

No, no, no, just take it e--
Calm down.

Ta-- Ah--

Yeah, good. She's still.

She's making a telephone call.

Good.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

I'll handle it.

Hello.

What you mean,
what I'm doing?

I'm immortalizing you on canvas.

Well, if you feel that way
about it, pull down the shades.

She did.

That'll teach you
to stick your nose

into other people's windows.

Hey, J.J., why don't you
paint a picture of Thelma?

Mm.
I'd rather paint the shade.

The way you paint,

you need to pull a shade
over those paintings.

Excuse me, Daddy.
Mm-hm.

Excuse me, Michael.

[KNOCKING
"SHAVE-AND-A-HAIRCUT"]

Sounds like Willona.

Yeah. Get the door,
Junior.

I am now getting the door.

Woo-wee.

Good morning, one and all,
in the Evans house of locks,

where security is tighter
than a vault in Fort Knox.

Yeah, but it ain't
tight enough.

Nowadays,
they're even stealing the locks.

Yeah, it's rough out there.

The Tidy Bowl man
traded in his rowboat

for a battleship.

Oh, go on.

Hey, James, you're still trying
to fix that old lamp, huh?

Yeah.

Hi, Willona.
Hi.

Are you ready to go
down to the laundry room?

I think so.
All right--

Let's see if we got
everything.

Detergent.
Detergent.

Bleach.
Bleach.

Police whistle.
Police whistle.

What's the use?

You whistle
and the police don't come.

Maybe they don't have no laundry
to do.

Ma, why don't you take J.J. down

and put him
in the washing machine?

His head is always going around
in circles anyway.

Well, the ghoul
of the ghetto has spoken.

J.J.

You know, Ma, instead of taking
them police whistles down there,

y'all should take
a picture of Thelma.

That would definitely
scare away the mugger.

You should talk.

You ought to donate
that face to medicine

so they can find
a cure for it.

Your face is--

[ARGUING]

All right, now,
that's enough.

Baby, you want me to go
down there with you?

I'm a combat veteran,
you know.

But come to think of it,

Korea wasn't
half as dangerous

as that laundry room.

Oh, that's all right, James.

Cora Washington's coming
with us,

and she carries
a Louisville Slugger

and swings it harder
than Hank Aaron.

I'm done.

Are you ready to go
into battle?

Ready.

My only regret is that I have
but one life to give

for my pantyhose.

Oh...

All those locks on the door,
and not being able

to go down to the laundry room
without protection...

this is no way to live.

Maybe we should move to one of
those fancy security buildings

on Lakeshore Drive.

No, they'd never take us.

We ain't got no French poodle
for the doorman to walk.

Hey, I know.
We could put a leash on J.J.

Daddy,
I think there'd be

a lot less crime
around here

if we had more black cops.

Well, don't bet on it.

If you're a crook
in this neighborhood,

old age'll get you
before the cops will.

Yeah, look what happened

when Mama got her purse snatched
last week.

We called the police
right after it happened,

and they haven't shown up yet.

Well, I still think

the answer is
more black cops.

No, no, Michael, the answer is
the manly art of self-defense.

Karate.

Ha!

Ha!

As you can see, my entire body
is a deadly weapon.

Yeah, looks
just like a spear,

only your hat's covering
the point.

I just don't believe it.

WILLONA: I can't either.

Y'all sure got back fast.

Yeah, we sure are,
and we bring with us

some good news
and some bad news.

The good news
is we didn't get mugged.

The bad news

is somebody ripped off
the washers and dryers.

Yeah, the dudes around here

would steal the shine
off of Kojak's head.

James, I have just about had it

with all the muggings,
the assaults,

stealing everything
that ain't nailed down.

It's just more than
one human being

should have to put up with.

Oh, now, calm down, baby.

Things are going to get better.

I don't see how,

when your Avon lady is selling
brass knuckles and tire chains.

And all of them locks
on the door.

Quiet as it's kept,

they ain't going to keep
nobody out

if they really want to get in.

Look, baby, don't worry
about that no more,

because anybody breaks in here,
they going to get broke.

Because I got a bopper,
a popper, a real crime stopper.

James, a gun?

That's right, a gun.

And the line for crime
is drawn at that door.

Anybody that doubts it,

I'm going to make a believer
out of them real fast.

Daddy,
where'd you get it?

Getting a gun
in the ghetto is easy.

All you got to do

is look in the yellow pages
under "violence."

Anybody can get a gun anywhere.

Inside Chicago, outside Chicago,
it don't matter.

Daddy, do you have a permit
to own that gun?

Yeah, I got a permit.

I permit me to own a gun.

Hey, ain't that one of those
Saturday night specials?

Mm-hmm.

I hear they go off

if you even breathe on them
hard.

Oh, James,
I'm afraid of guns.

Oh, Fl--

They're dangerous
to have around the house.

Florida, ain't nothing
to worry about.

Ain't nobody going to
touch the gun but me.
Oh!

Good decision, Dad.
Good decision.

But suppose you're not here,
and I must protect

the more defenseless members
of the family

against some
lawless intruder.

Can I get a rod
and waste him?

Junior, if trouble
breaks out

and I ain't here,
you do what you do best.

Yell for help,
hide in the corner

and shake till I get here.

I don't want nobody touching
this gun. Nobody.

Is that clear?

Honey, I'm sorry, but--

I just can't relax
with a gun in the house.

Florida, the way
them streets are nowadays,

we can't make it without a gun.

Yeah, Ma, Dad owning that gun

is the same
as you owning that whistle.

You got your style
of blowing the dude away,

and Dad's got his.

James, James--

Huh?

If somebody did
break into the house,

would you actually use
that gun on them?

Is fat meat greasy?

Gee, Thelma,
this is the best breakfast

you ever made
in your whole life.

All I did was pour
some cereal out of a box.

I didn't do nothing else.

That's why
it's the best breakfast

you ever made
in your whole life.

Get out of here.

J.J., you want some milk?

No, thanks, Thelma.

Not without your makeup on,

because with your face
you'll probably curdle it.

Look, do you want
some breakfast or not?

Now, don't be fixing me
no breakfast.

My stomach don't have
no food poisoning insurance.

That's right, because
after you collected

on that accident
you call a body,

they canceled
the policy.

Well, maybe I should use
your insurance company,

Ugly of Omaha.

[ARGUING]

All right, you two.
That's enough.

Now, I don't feel like listening
to that stuff this morning.

I already got
a headache.
Sorry, Ma.

Thelma, get a dollar
out of my bag,

go down to the drugstore,
and get me some aspirins.

All right, Ma.

J.J., you go wash up.

Oh, Ma,
why I got to wash up?

Why can't I be like Thelma
and just spray on some cologne?

You're just jealous

because the only spray
they make for you is Raid.

Hey! Ma!

Thelma, will you get going!

I'm going, Ma.

Hey, look at this.
Will you check this--?

Hey, good morning, Dad.

Go wash.

Good morning.

You didn't sleep too good
last night, did you?

What would
make you say that?

Two elbows to the jaw,
a knee to the ribs,

and a left hook to the chops.

Well, I was
a little restless,

but I didn't mean
to keep you awake.

You didn't.

That last elbow put me out
like a light.

James, you know,

I really couldn't
sleep good last night.

Just thinking of having
a gun in the house scares me.

Well, then,
quit thinking about it.

How can I quit thinking about it
when it's still here?

Anybody in this house
could get ahold of that thing.

Oh, now, Florida,
I told you,

ain't nobody going to
touch the gun but me.

I'm going outside
and practice some shooting.

Oh, my God!

Baby, he's talking
about basketball.

Later.

You see how nervous I'm getting
about that gun?

Baby, you making a big deal
out of nothing.

Nothing?

Did you read that article
in The Defender?

It says
that in the United States

someone was shot every minute
with a gun.

That dude must be
awful full of holes by now.

James, that ain't nothing
to be making no joke of.

When people keep guns
in the house for protection,

80% of the victims
are husbands, wives, relatives,

and good friends,

and it's far worse
with blacks than with whites.

Which means we ain't going to
have to worry about tomorrow,

because we are killing it off
today.

Now, Florida,
guns don't kill people.

People kill people.

With guns.

And it ain't going
to stop

till some
of these politicians

get the guts
to outlaw them.

Well, they ain't going
to outlaw guns,

because the bad guys will
always find a way to get them.

Well, maybe,

but there wouldn't be
so many good guys dead

if it wasn't for
other good guys' guns.

You know something, baby?
One of these days,

you going to thank me
for getting that gun.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Maybe, but it ain't going to be
no time soon.

Yes?

Miss Evans?
Yes.

I'm Patrolman Wigmore,
and I'd like to talk to you

about some stolen property.

Hey, now,
wait a minute.

My mother didn't steal
anything.

You apologize
to this lovely lady.

Don't say a word, Ma,
till we get a lawyer.

Get lost, Junior.

Ma'am,
what I want to ask you about

is property that you reported
stolen last week.

Oh, yes, yes, come in.

Thank you.

Come in, please.

Thank you.

Uh, in our preliminary report

it says a man stole
a bicycle from a Mrs. Evans.

It wasn't a bicycle, Columbo.
It was a purse.

Oh, yes, a purse
from a Miss Georgia Evans.

And it's not Georgia,
Barnaby Jones.

It's Florida.

Now, the man
who committed this crime,

can you tell me anything
about him at all?

Yes.

He runs fast.

Tell me something,
officer.

How come you didn't
come around here

when we first reported
this thing?

Well, Mr. Bevens--

That's Evans.

Uh, Evans.

Crimes are being committed here
so fast,

we can hardly handle them,

but, uh, we're making sure

that law enforcement is the same
here in Chocolate City

as it is
out in the vanilla suburbs.

Yeah,
but in the vanilla suburbs,

the cops come in two scoops,
whipped cream, and a cherry.

All we get here
is sprinkled nuts.

Ma, Dad!

Thelma!

Baby girl, what happened?
Oh, my God.

On my way home from the store,
a man grabbed me, and he tried--

Baby, are you hurt?

Please, officer,
do something.

Yeah, don't just
stand there, man.

Do something. Now, come on.
Do something!

All right, already.

We're going to
check it out.

Just be calm.

What do you mean,
calm down?

You heard what happened.
What did he look like?

Daddy, I don't know.

I started kicking and scratching
and screaming, and he ran off.

Don't you worry,
sweetheart,

those policemen
are going to find him.

Yeah, man, you better
get on the case.

Otherwise,
I have to go out there

and look for the dude,

and no telling
what's going to happen

once I get into action,
because he's in trouble, Jack.

Miss, can you give us
a description at all?

I don't know.

It happened so quick.

All I remember

is that he was wearing
a leather jacket.

All right, now,
you got a description.

Get moving.

Evans,
a man wearing a leather jacket

ain't no description.

He's gone.

Your daughter says she's okay.

So, uh--

What do you mean, "So, uh"?

Can't you see she's hysterical?
She was attacked.

That's a hell of a lot more
than "So, uh,"

so get moving, man.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

We're gonna check it out,

and, by the way, Miss Evans, uh,

if we happened to come up
with anything

on your stolen bicycle,
I'll let you know.

The fuzz.

I'm telling y'all,
nowadays

you can't count on
nobody but yourself.

That's the truth.

James.

James, what you doing?

We going to check it out.
Fat chance.

No, I ain't letting no dude get
away with putting his hands

on my daughter.
James, now, wait a minute.

But, Daddy,
I'm all right.

How do you know?
You're hysterical.

James, please, no!

All right, Florida,
where is it?

Where is what?

You know what.
The gun. It's gone.

I knew something like this
would happen.

I just knew it.

Now, Florida, I don't want
to hear a whole bunch of them

I-told-you-so's.

Where's the gun?

James,
I didn't take that gun.

Well, if you didn't, who did?

Who did?

James, I don't know
who took that gun,

but you better believe
I didn't.

Florida, how do you
expect me to believe that

when you the one said you
wanted me to get rid of it,

and you couldn't sleep
with it in the house?

And I am also the one
who is so afraid of a gun

that if I laid
one finger on a gun,

I'd turn
white as a sheet.

And if that don't prove
Ma's innocent, nothing will.

James, I never wanted
a gun in the house,

but, believe me,
I didn't take it.

Well, the gun
didn't just jump

out of the box by itself.

Now, somebody in here
moved it.

Well, don't look
at me, y'all.

Guns are made for killing.

I ain't no killer.

See, I'm a lover.

See, to me,
a Saturday night special

is getting a chick to say yes

after she said no
six other nights of the week.

Thelma?

I didn't bother that gun,
Daddy, honest.

Please, James, she's been
through enough for one day.

I'm sorry, baby girl.

Florida, are you trying
to prove a point?

No, James.

Now look, baby,
you ain't never lied to me

all the years
we've been married.

Now, don't start now.
Did you have anything at all

to do with the gun
disappearing?

James,
I haven't seen that gun

since you showed it to me
yesterday.

Well, the gun didn't just
jump out of the box.

It got to be
around here somewhere.

Maybe you didn't put the gun
in that box like you thought.

Maybe you put it
someplace else.

How can I put it someplace else
when I put it in this box?

But it still won't hurt
to look around for it, James.

All right, we'll look.

We'll look for it.

And we'll look
very, very carefully.

Good.

J.J.: Yeah, all right.

Daddy!

James, please!

( clamoring)

James!

I ain't looking
for no Good Housekeeping Award!

I'm trying to find
a loaded gun.

Well, do you have to look for it
like a bulldozer?

It don't matter how I look
for it, as long as I find it.

Don't look like I'll find it
in this room.

Well, maybe it's
in some other part of the house.

Thelma,

go search the bathroom,
and I mean search it good.

Don't worry, Dad,
I got eyes like an eagle.

And a face like a beagle.

Junior, you go search
in the kitchen.

I'm checking, Dad,
I'm checking.

Come on, Florida,
let's look in the bedroom.

Oh, James.

Oh.

James, please.

Oh, James,
please stop it.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

Now, Florida,
I can't be looking for no gun

if you going to stand there

playing "this is the way
we fold our clothes."

Go look in the closet.

All right, James.

That ain't no way
to look for nothing.

James, I'm just as worried
about that gun as you are,

in fact, more worried.

Ah, damn it.

It ain't in here either.

Let's see
if the kids found it.

Oh, James, don't be ridiculous.

Any luck, Thelma?

No, Daddy,
it wasn't in the bathroom.

How about you, Junior?

I didn't find
the gun, Dad,

but I did find
this Tootsie Roll pop.

What now, James?
I don't know what now.

All I know is,
I put that gun in this box

and put this box
in that closet.

Well, then, maybe a moth ate it.

Wouldn't be too hard to find.

All you have to do is look
for a pregnant-looking moth.

James, maybe you hid
that gun

real good someplace
and just forgot where.

Oh, Florida,
I don't forget things.

Hey, Flo--

Where did you get
your new layout from,

Better Homes and Garbage?

You can thank
my interior decorator here.

The Black Tornado.

Well, I ain't going to hardly
get into that mess.

I just came by to see
if you heard the news.

Yeah, we heard the news,
Willona.

Now, go home.
James.

I ain't in the mood to hear none
of that Mickey Mouse gossip.

This ain't
no Mickey Mouse gossip, grumpy.

A five-year-old kid
on the third floor

accidentally shot himself
this morning.

Oh, my God.
What?

It was like you read
in the papers all the time.

A child plays with a gun
and it went off.

And from what I hear,

nobody knows
where the gun came from.

Well, somebody must know
where it came from.

It must belong to somebody.

Somebody must have stole it
or...lost it.

No. It-- It can't be.

Can't be.

What kind of gun
was it, Willona?

I think they said a .32.

Oh, thank the Lord,
James.

It wasn't one of them
Saturday night things.

Florida, my gun was a .32.

James, no.

Now, wait a minute, baby.

Don't you start thinking
nothing like that.

There are a million guns
in this country.

Who's to say that
that gun was yours?

Florida,
a man knows what he knows.

Oh, James,
it still don't have to be yours.

Will somebody please tell me
what's going on around here?

Daddy's gun is missing,
and we can't find it.

Oh, God.

Willona, uh,
this kid that got shot,

was he--? Is he--?

James, James, hey,
I don't know how serious it is,

but I'll go see
if I can find out, okay?

Thanks, Willona.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Come on, James.

Now, don't start persecuting
yourself like this.

You didn't have
nothing to do with it.

I as good as
pulled the trigger.

Come on, Dad,
it's not your fault.

I mean, probably
somebody snuck in here

while we were sleeping
last night

and ripped us off
for the gun.

Junior, you think that
makes me feel any better?

A kid wouldn't be hurting now
if I hadn't had a gun to steal.

It was supposed
to be for protection,

but who in God's name
did it protect?

Hey, what's going on here?

Y'all fixing to move
without telling me?

Please, Michael, we ain't
in no mood for no joking.

A little boy in this building

accidentally shot himself
this morning.

I know, but his brother told me
he's doing pretty good.

He is?
Yeah.

FLORIDA: Thank God.

What's going on?

Your father's gun is missing,
Michael.

We think that somebody stole it
last night,

and somehow it wound up
with the kid who was shot.

The gun that shot him
wasn't Daddy's.

Oh, it was mine,

and don't tell me no different.

But, Daddy, it wasn't your gun.

Last night I started wondering
what would happen

if you really ever
lost your temper?

Mm. So I took it.

Michael, you took--?!

Yeah, I took it,
and I hid it.

You hid it? Where?

In the bottom of that lamp
you were fixing yesterday.

Here it is.

Yeah, that's it, all right.

I recognize that any place.

Looks just like me.
Slim, black, and...dyn-o-mite!

Oh, Michael,
I could kiss you.

Please, Thelma,
don't get carried away.

Aw.

I never thought
having a gun in the house

could make me feel
so good.

Now, get rid of it.

No, baby, we still need it
for protection.

I'm glad for what you did,
Michael,

but I'm going to still have to
punish you,

because I told y'all I didn't
want nobody touching this gun,

and you did.
I'm sorry, Daddy,

but I just didn't want
to see you do anything

that might have gotten you
into trouble.

He's right, James.

But, Michael,
that gun is no toy

for you to play with.

Mama, I'm no dummy.

I had enough sense
to take the bullets out

before I hid it.

See?

[GUNSHOT]

[SCREAMING]

* Just lookin'
Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how
It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times
Good times *

* Keepin' your head
Above water *

* Makin' a wave
When you can *

* Temporary layoffs
Good times *

ANNOUNCER:
Good Times is recorded
on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times **